AGATHA CHRISTIE - THE CASE OF THE CITY CLERK | Detective Tales

Agatha Christie the case of the discontented husband undoubtedly one of Mr Parker Pine's greatest assets was his sympathetic manner it was a manner that invited confidence he was well acquainted with the kind of paralysis that descended on clients as soon as they got inside his office it was Mr Pine's task to pave the way for the necessary disclosures on this particular morning he sat facing a new client a Mr Reginald Wade Mr Wade he deduced at once was the articulate type the type that finds it hard to put into words anything connected with the emotions

he was a tall broadly built man with mild Pleasant blue eyes and a well-tanned complexion he sat pulling absentmindedly at a little mustache while he looked at Mr Parker Pine with all the pathos of a dumb animal saw your advertisement you know he jerked thought I might as well come along rum sort of show but you never know what Mr Parker Pine interpreted these cryptic remarks correctly when things go badly one is willing to take a chance he suggested a chance any chance things are in a bad way with me Mr Pine I don't know

what to do about it difficult you know damned difficult that said Mr Pine is where I come in I do know what to do I'm a specialist in every kind of human trouble oh I say bit of a tall order that not really human troubles are easily classified into a few main heads there is ill health there is boredom there are wives who are in trouble over their husbands there are husbands he paused who are in trouble over their wives matter of fact you've hit it you've hit it absolutely tell me about it said Mr

Pine there's nothing much to tell my wife wants me to give her a divorce so that she can marry another chap very common indeed in these days now you I gather don't see I to ey with her in this business I'm fond of her said Mr Wade simply you see well I'm fond of her a simple and somewhat tame statement but if Mr Wade had said I adore her I worship the ground she walks on I would cut myself into little pieces for her he could not have been more explicit to Mr Parker Pine all

the same you know went on Mr Wade what can I do I mean a fellow's so helpless if she prefers this other fellow well one's got to play the game stand aside and all that the proposal is that she should divorce you of course I couldn't let her be dragged through the divorce court Mr Pine looked at him thoughtfully but you come to me why the other laughed in a shamefaced manner I don't know you see I'm not a clever chap I can't think of things I thought you might well suggest something I've got 6

months you see she agreed to that if at the end of 6 months she is still of the same mind well then I get out I thought you might give me a hint or two at present everything I do annoys her you see Mr Pine what it comes to is this I'm not a clever chap I like knocking balls about I like around of golf and a good set of tennis I'm no good at music and art and such things my wife's clever she likes pictures and the Opera and concerts and naturally she gets bored

with me this other fellow nasty long-haired chap he knows all about these things he can talk about them I can't in a way I can understand a clever beautiful woman getting fed up with an ass like me Mr Parker Pine groaned you have been married how long 9 years and I suppose you have adopted that attitude from the start wrong my dear sir disastrously wrong never adopt an apologetic attitude with a woman she will take you at your own valuation and you deserve it you should have gloried in your athletic prowess you should have spoken

of Art and music as all that nonsense my wife likes you should have condoled with her on not being able to play games better the humble Spirit my dear sir is a wash out in matrimony no woman can be expected to stand up against it no wonder your wife has been unable to last the course Mr Wade was looking at him in bewilderment well he said what do you think I ought to do that certainly is the question whatever you should have done 9 years ago it is too late now new tactics must be adopted

have you ever had any affairs with other women certainly not I should have said perhaps any light flirtations I never bothered about women much a mistake you must start now Mr Wade looked alarmed oh look here I couldn't really I mean you will be put to no trouble in the matter one of my staff will be supplied for the purpose she will tell you what is required of you and any attentions you pay her she will of course understand to be merely a matter of business Mr Wade looked relieved that's better but do you really

think I mean it seems to me that Iris will be Keener to get rid of me than ever you do not understand human nature Mr Wade still less do you understand feminine human nature at the present moment you are from the feminine point of view merely a waste product nobody wants you what use has a woman for something that no one wants none whatever but take another angle suppose your wife discovers that you are looking forward to regaining your freedom as much as she is then she ought to be pleased she ought to be perhaps

but she will not be moreover she will see that you have attracted a fascinating young woman a young woman who could pick and choose immediately your stock goes up your wife knows that all her friends will say it was you who tired of her and wished to marry a more attractive woman that will annoy her you think so I am sure of it you will no longer be poor dear old Reggie you will be that Sly dog Reggie all the difference in the world without relinquishing the other man she will doubtless try to win you

back you will not be one you will sensible and give to her all her arguments much better to part temperamentally unsuited you realize that while what she said was true that you had never understood her it is also true that she had never understood you but we need not go into this now you will be given full instructions when the time comes Mr Wade seemed doubtful still you really think that this plan of yours will do the trick he he asked dubiously I will not say I am absolutely sure of it said Mr Parker Pine

cautiously there is a bare possibility that your wife may be so overwhelmingly in love with this other man that nothing you could say or do will affect her but I consider that unlikely she has probably been driven into this affair through boredom boredom with the atmosphere of uncritical devotion and absolute Fidelity with which you have most unwisely surrounded her if you follow my instruction the chances are I should say 97% in your favor good enough said Mr Wade I'll do it by the way uh how much my fee is 200 g payable in advance Mr

Wade Drew out a checkbook the grounds of Laura Mt were lovely in the afternoon sunshine Iris Wade lying on a long chair made a delicious spot of color she was dressed in delicate shades of mave and by skillful makeup managed to look much younger than her 35 years she was talking to her friend Mrs massington whom she always found sympathetic both ladies were Afflicted with athletic husbands who talked stocks and shares and golf alternately and so one learns to Live and Let Live finished Iris you're wonderful darling said Mrs mington and added too quickly tell

me who is this girl Iris raised a weary shoulder don't ask me Reggie found her she's Reggie's little friend so amusing you know he never looks at girls as a rule he came to me and hemmed and and finally said he wanted to ask this m desara down for the weekend of course I laughed I couldn't help it Reggie you know well here she is where did he meet her I don't know he was very vag about it all perhaps he's known her sometime oh I don't think so said Mrs Wade of course she went

on I'm delighted simply delighted I mean it makes it so much easier for me as things are because I have been unhappy about Reggie he's such a dear old thing that's what I kept saying to Sinclair that it would hurt Reggie so but he insisted that Reggie would soon get over it it looks as if he were right two days ago Reggie seemed heartbroken and now he wants this girl down as I say I'm amused I like to see Reggie enjoying himself I fancy the poor fellow actually thought I might be jealous such an absurd

idea of course I said have your friend down poor Reggie as though a girl like that could ever care about him she's just amusing herself she's extremely attractive said Mrs massington almost dangerously so if you know what I mean the sort of girl who cares only for men I don't feel somehow she can be a really nice girl probably not said Mrs Wade she has marvelous clothes said Mrs massington almost too exotic don't you think but very expensive opulent she's too opulent looking here they come said Mrs massington meline darara and Reggie Wade were walking

across the lawn they were laughing and talking together and seemed very happy meline flung herself into a chair tore off the Bret she was wearing and ran her hands through her exquisitly dark curls she was undeniably beautiful we've had such a marvelous afternoon she cried I'm terribly hot I must be looking too Dreadful Reggie Wade started nervously at the sound of his queue you look you look he gave a little laugh I won't say it he finished mine's eyes met his it was a glance of complete understanding on her part Mrs mington noted it alertly

you should play golf said meline to her Hostess you missed such a lot why don't you take it up I have a friend who did and became quite good and she was a lot older than you I don't care for that sort of thing said Iris coldly are you bad at games how rotten for you it makes one feel so out of things but really Mrs Wade coaching nowadays is so good that almost anyone can play fairly well I improved my tennis no end last summer of course I'm hopeless at golf nonsense said Reggie you

only need coaching look how you were getting those brzy shots this afternoon because you showed me how you're a wonderful teacher lots of people simply can't teach but you've got the gift it must be wonderful to be you you can do everything nonsense I'm no good no use whatever Reggie was confused used you must be very proud of him said meline turning to Mrs Wade how have you managed to keep him all these years you must have been very clever or have you hidden him away her Hostess made no reply she picked up her book

with a hand that trembled Reggie murmured something about changing and went off I do think it's so sweet of you to have me here said meline to her Hostess some women are so suspicious of their husbands friends I do think jealousy is absurd don't you I do indeed I should never dream of being jealous of Reggie that's wonderful of you because anyone can see that he's a man who's frightfully attractive to women it was a shock to me when I heard he was married why do all the attractive men get snapped up young I'm glad

you find Reggie so attractive said Mrs Wade well he is isn't he so good-looking and so frightfully good at games and that pretended indifference of his on women that SP us one of course I suppose you have a lot of men friends said Mrs Wade oh yes I like men better than women women are never really nice to me I can't think why perhaps you are too nice to their husbands said Mrs massington with a tinkly laugh well one's sorry for people sometimes so many nice men are tied to such dull wives you know Arty

women and highbrow women naturally the men want someone young and bright to talk to to I think the modern ideas of marriage and divorce are so sensible start again while one is still young with someone who shares one's tastes and ideas it's better for everybody in the end I mean the highbrow wives probably pick up some long-haired creature of their own type who satisfies them I think cutting your losses and starting again is a wise plan don't you Mrs Wade certainly a certain frostiness in the atmosphere seemed to penetrate mine's Consciousness she murmured something about

changing for tea and left them detestable creatures these modern girls are said Mrs Wade not an idea in their heads she's got one idea in hers Iris said Mrs massington that girl's in love with Reggie nonsense she is I saw the way she looked at him just now she doesn't care a pin whether he's married or not she means to have him disgusting I call it Mrs Wade was silent a moment then she laughed uncertainly after all she said what does it matter presently Mrs Wade too went upstairs her husband was in his dressing room

changing he was singing enjoyed yourself dear said Mrs Wade oh uh rather yes I'm glad I want you to be happy yes rather acting apart was not Reggie Wade's strong point but as it happened the acute embarrassment occasioned by his f fancying he was doing so did just as well he avoided his wife's eye and jumped when she spoke to him he felt ashamed hated the farce of it all nothing could have produced a better effect he was the picture of conscious guilt how long have you known her asked Mrs Wade suddenly uh who Mr

Sarah of course well I don't quite know I mean oh sometime really you never mentioned her didn't I I suppose I forgot forgot indeed said Mrs Wade she departed with a whisk of Mau draperies after tea Mr Wade showed Mr Sara the Rose Garden they walked across the lawn conscious of two pairs of eyes raking their backs look here safe out of sight in the Rose Garden Mr Wade unburdened himself look here I think we'll have to give this up my wife looked at me just now as though she hated me don't worry said meline

it's quite all right do you think so I mean I don't want to put her against me she said several nasty things at tea it's all right said meline again you're doing splendidly do you really think so yes in a lower voice she went on your wife is walking around the corner of the Terrace she wants to see what we're doing youd better kiss me oh said Mr Wade nervously must I I mean kiss me said meline fiercely Mr Wade kissed her any lack of alar in the performance was remedied by meline she flung her

arms around him Mr Wade staggered oh he said did you hate it very much said meline no of course not said Mr Wade gallantly it it just took me by surprise he added wistfully have we been in the Rose Garden long enough do you think I think so said meline we've put in a bit of good work here they returned to the lawn Mrs mington informed them that Mrs Wade had gone to lie down later Mr Wade joined meline with a perturbed face she's in an awful State hysterics good she saw me kissing you well

we meant her to I know but I couldn't say that could I I didn't know what to say I said it had just just well happened excellent she said you were scheming to marry me and that you were no better than you should be that upset me it seemed such awfully rough luck on you I mean when you're just doing a job I said that I had the utmost respect for you and that what she said wasn't true at all and I'm afraid I got angry when she went on about it magnificent and then she

told me to go away she doesn't want ever to speak to me again she talked of packing up and leaving his face was dismayed meline smiled I'll tell you the answer to that one tell her that you'll be the one to go that you'll pack up and clear out to town but I don't want to that's all right you won't have to your wife would hate to think of you amusing yourself in London the following morning Reggie Wade had a fresh bulletin to impart she says she's been thinking and that it isn't fair for her

to go away when she agreed to stay 6 months but she says that as I have my friends down here she doesn't see why she shouldn't have hers she's asking Sinclair Jordan is he the one yes and I'm damned if I'll have him in my house you must said meline don't worry I'll attend to him say that on thinking things over you have no objection and that you know she won't mind your asking me to stay on too oh dear sighed Mr Wade now don't lose heart said meline everything is going splendidly another fortnite and

all your troubles will be over a fortnite do you really think so demanded Mr Wade think so I'm sure of it said meline A week later meline desara entered Mr Parker Pine's office and sank wearily into a chair enter the queen of Vamps said Mr Parker Pine smiling Vamps said meline she gave a hollow laugh I've never had such uphill work being a vamp that man is obsessed by his wife it's a disease Mr Parker Pine smiled yes indeed well in one way it made our task easier it is not every man my dear meline

whom I would expose to your fascination so light-heartedly the girl laughed if you knew the difficulty I had to make him even kiss me as though he liked it a novel experience for you my dear well is your task accomplished yes I think all is well we had a tremendous scene last night let me see my last report was 3 days ago yes well as I told you I only had to look at that miserable worm Sinclair Jordan once he was all over me especially as he thought from my clothes that I had money Mrs

Wade was Furious of course here were both her Men Dancing attendance on me I soon showed where my preference lay I made of Sinclair Jordan to his face and to her I laughed at his clothes and at the length of his hair I pointed out that he had knock knees excellent technique said Mr Parker Pine appreciatively everything boiled up last night Mrs Wade came out in the open she accused me of breaking up her home Reggie Wade mentioned the little matter of Sinclair Jordan she said that that was only the result of her unhappiness and

loneliness she had noticed her husband's abstraction for some time but but had had no idea as to the cause of it she said they had always been ideally happy that she adored him and he knew it and that she wanted him and only him I said it was too late for that Mr Wade followed his instructions splendidly he said he didn't give a damn he was going to marry me Mrs Wade could have her Sinclair as soon as she pleased there was no reason why the divorce proceedings shouldn't be started at once waiting 6 months

was absurd within a few days he said she should have the necessary evidence and could instruct her solicitors he said he couldn't live without me then Mrs Wade clutched her chest and talked about her weak heart and had to be given Brandy he didn't weaken he went up to town this morning and I've no doubt she's gone after him by this time so that's all right said Mr Pine cheerfully a very satisfactory case the door flew open in the doorway stood Reggie Wade is she here he demanded advancing into the room where is she he

caught sight of melene darling he cried he seized both her hands darling darling you knew didn't you that it was real last night that I meant every word I said to Iris I don't know why I was blind so long but I've known for the last 3 days known what said meline faintly that I adored you that there was no woman in the world for me but you Iris can bring her divorce and when it's gone through you'll marry me won't you say you will meline I adore you he caught the paralyzed meline in his

arms just as the door flew open again this time to admit a thin woman dressed in untidy green I thought so said the newcomer I followed you I knew you'd go to her I can assure you began Mr Parker Pine recovering from the stupefaction that had descended upon him the Intruder took no notice of him she swept on oh Reggie you can't want to break my heart only come back I'll not say a word about all this I'll learn golf I won't have any friends you don't care about after all these years when we've been

so happy together I've never been happy till now said Mr Wade still gazing at meline Dash it all Iris you wanted to marry that ask Jordan why don't you go and do it Mrs Wade gave a whale I'm I hate him I hate the very sight of him she turned to meline you Wicked Woman you horrible vampire stealing my husband from me I don't want your husband said meline distractedly meline Mr Wade was gazing at her in agony please go away said meline but look here I'm not pretending I mean it oh go away cried

meline hysterically go away Reggie moved reluctantly towards the door I shall come back he warned her you've Not Seen the Last of Me he went out banging the door girls like you ought to be flogged and branded cried Mrs Wade Reggie was an angel to me always till you came along now he's so changed I don't know him with a sob she hurried out after her husband meline and Mr Parker Pine looked at each other I can't help it said meline helplessly heun's a very nice man a deer but I don't want to marry him

I'd no idea of all this if you knew the difficulty I had making him kiss me ahem said Mr Parker Pine I regret to admit it but it was an error of judgment on my part he shook his head sadly and drawing Mr Wade's file towards him wrote across it failure owing to natural causes NB they should have been foreseen thank you very much for listening to this story narrated by Jason Fraser don't forget to subscribe to the detective Tales Channel and be sure to leave a comment