JJ yeah I'm so glad you're back you went skydiving for the first time at the age of 80 you got your first tat2 at 85 now that you're 86 what is your exact workout and movement routine oh well I walk every day four miles anyhow it can be five but it can't be less what about water how much water do you drink uh not enough I do have kombucha apple cider vinegar and a fresh orange so I think to myself you know that's liquid yeah oh I have one other thing to add tell me with
my smoothies I always have at least four Ginger Snips like cookies okay yeah four well sometimes more but God this is not a health episode everybody a lot of listeners Judy are curious what is your biggest regret now that you're 86 [Applause] [Music] hey it's your friend Mel and today you and I are spending time with one of the smallest bad assest women I know I know again another word that doesn't really make sense but you know what I mean I'm talking about the pint-size PowerHouse my mother-in-law Judy Robins now she clocks in at 4
foot1 and that's with heels she is smart she's entertaining she's loving she's fun and she is almost 87 years old but she's not even close to being done with life in fact Judy does more before 10:00 a.m. most mornings than I do and today she's back on the podcast taking your questions because when she was here about a year ago you almost broke the internet with the amount of questions that you sent in you wanted more from Judy and so I got a stack of them right here I have no idea what she is about
to say which is part of the fun so pull up a chair because I invite you to join this deeply fun and profound conversation with me and my mother-in-law Judy Robbins and I have no doubt you are going to love her as much as I do so please join me and welcoming back the one and only Judy Robbins JJ yeah I'm so glad you're back it's good to be back Mel we have so many questions uh from listeners around the world from your last appearance on the Mel Robbins podcast you have been a fan favorite
does that surprise you it does yes it does well I think it's fantastic and I'm not surprised and here's why it's one thing to hear the research and the strategies and the recommendations from a medical doctor or somebody who researches it it's another thing to hear the secrets of an 86 87 in September 87 year-old woman who is scaling mountains and jumping out of airplanes and wearing bikinis and exercising every day having a glass of wine laughing your way through life and you just have this remarkable attitude and so you are an expert in longevity
with lived experience and you're demonstrating something that people want and so we got so many questions as a followup to our conversation about your secret to life and where I want to go is just dive into some specific things about your daily routine exercising the fact that you're so mobile and strong and a lot of people want to know you're 86 soon to be 87 when did you start working out how old were you I started running I think when I was about 33 34 okay why did you start running at 33 because my husband
was running oh you're trying to keep up with him hardly since he's 6'2 but he decided to start running for whatever reason I think running was becoming kind of the thing to do you probably don't remember way back Jim fix no idea who that is no well he was like the first runner and just became kind of the thing to do I guess gotcha so that would be well over 50 years ago yeah so we're talking the early 70s if I'm doing my math right yeah so in the early 70s you were in your mid-30s
you started working out and then were you just consistently working out all the time once you started running well I have the same pattern today that I did back then in that Ken and I had these books on tape which you could order them from this company and they came in a box a whole book and they were the cassettes and we would put the cassette and I would listen to history and things that that I wasn't going to read right and but then when I started to get into books like uh you know novels
and things like God I wanted to get up every morning so I could listen to the next chapter ooh that's a good little hack and so you said you still do the same thing over 50 years later what does that mean I listen to a book every time I walk and I also read a book so I always have two books going um a lot of uh listeners around the world want to know now that you're 86 what's your exact routine when it comes to exercising your body oh well I walk every day four miles
anyhow and how do you know it's four miles cuz I look at my Apple watch gotcha and it does it have to be four miles no it can be five but it can't be less I love that you just said no it can be more but it can't be less no why can't it be less than I then I get guilt you know then I have to walk someplace else to make it up to be that okay so for sure you are out there walking four miles a day and then I try and do yoga
at least once maybe twice because I think it's really important if you're a walker or a runner to do something like yoga and you mean once or twice a week yeah okay so once or twice a week you're going to a workout class H and then every single day you try to get four miles in yeah um do you ever work out with friends no not really I mean I'll walk with friends yeah definitely if if somebody wants to take a walk I'll walk okay as long as they walk as far as I do okay
and do you find in your 80s that you have a lot of friends that will walk four miles with you or not really well I think one of the perks that I have is that I have a lot of younger friends so I would say most of my friends are in their 70s I love that you're saying my younger friends in their 70s well I have you yes and I have my grandchildren but yes but I mean my friends you know that I hang out with are probably in their 70s I don't have any friends
my age who are walking got it and the friends your age were they not walking back in their 70s either I don't think so I mean I think that's the whole thing about exercise there's so many people my age men and women um men in particular where I will encourage them to exercise and you know if they haven't been doing it they're not going to start now I mean like their attitude is why yeah I'm fine without so why would I start well what would you say to somebody who is older and who has never
made it part of their daily routine to get outside and even just get in a couple mile walk what would you say to them when they're like H why because first of all you aren't as tired so I would say that would be the impetus more than anything else it gives you more energy I mean no doubt about it we all want to take a snooze you know like at 3:30 4:00 in the afternoon if we can but I think overall it creates energy rather than dissipates and I think that older people think that if
I'm going to do that I'm going to be more tired do you know what I mean yeah you know but it's not it's the opposite I think that's a great point because you're right if you have never made it part of your routine to just get out take a walk couple miles you do think it takes a lot of energy and it's going to drain you but you're right it's the exact opposite no because your endorphins you're building on your endorphins and it creates when you come home from a walk you don't want to put
your feet up and take a nap that's true you want to do something you know I I love this wisdom because I've known you now for 30 years and I've always thought about you as somebody who is the most energetic person in the world and you have always gone out for Four Mile not less walk every day since I've ever met you rain shine you'll put on a little snowsuit with little spiky things on your shoes and go marching out into the Vermont winter and I'd always heard people kind of refer to you almost like
a little Energizer Bunny and I think a lot of times people have given like they've given credit to the fact that you are a petite person but I think it's because you've prioritized making this get outside get your body moving and go for a walk every day for decades as a source of your energy well I think also in Fair when you start anything it becomes a habit I don't care whether it's having one or two glasses of wine at night or whether it's getting up in the morning and running it becomes a habit and
you miss it if you don't do it that's true and I love that there's a couple tips already which is get an Audi book because it will help you want to get out the door and listen to it will definitely and only listen to it when you're walking that way it's that motivator you know people do say Judy how do do you stay motivated do you think do you even need motivation at this point you mean motivation to exercise or motivation yeah motivation to exercise I yeah I do I mean I think that probably I'll
fall apart if I don't so it's sort of the negative consequence I don't want to be tired and low energy so I better get my rear end out there and March so energy for today a lot of listeners Judy are curious what do you eat can you walk us through what do you have for breakfast then what do you have for lunch and then what do you have for dinner and and just to put it in perspective if you didn't know what are you 411 how how tall are you 411 okay so she's a very
petite person and uh I want you to just put that in context so what do you typically have for breakfast well I hate to say this since you already told everybody that you shouldn't have your cup of coffee for 90 minutes guess what I do okay I get up in the morning it turn on my hot tub as I've said I mean my um sauna and I get back in bed and I have a cup of coffee wonderful I'm really not a breakfast eater okay so I'm not really hungry I mean after I've had my
vitamin C then then I will exercise when I come back then I'll have a smoothie okay and everybody's going to want to know what is in Judy Robin okay I put in um ice mhm metrics a whole package of metrics so meaning the protein brand metrics is there a flavor you like vanilla okay vanilla metrics I love that you're taking a bodybuilder protein mix and pouring it in as an 86 sunab be 87 old I didn't know it was is that what it is I think so I've I've been taking metrics for years okay so
you have a protein smoothie what do you put in there kale kale and if I can Sprouts okay um I love sprouts and I can get them fresh when I'm in Florida which is great but I do it the Sprouts here and then blueberries and strawberries yum and coconut water okay then you blend that sucker up all right great so then what do you have for lunch I graze okay wait wait a minute this is not that healthy okay what do you mean you graze I you know if I have some chicken salad I take
it out so are you like a stand up in front of the fridge with a fork in it same I'm a little like that too I am not to sit down have lunch okay yeah like John okay John would be her boyfriend everybody okay always breakfast lunch and dinner yes I am not like that and he puts a napkin on his lap that is John is a very proper well-mannered well- read wonderful human being but I can see that g three squares no matter what what's three squares mean three you've never heard that expression no
Three Square meals oh three Square meals okay that's not me well that's why you guys are such a great couple because Judy's standing there in her jogging shorts and her hocas shoveling chicken salad in her mouth while John has a napkin on his lap and a collared shirt and he's sitting there eating sandwich off of China plate yes oh I have one other thing to add tell me with my smoothies I always have at least four Ginger Snaps who Ginger snabs like cookies okay this is not a health episode everybody Nabisco Ginger Snaps what my
brother is the same way every morning he has a metric smoothie and we are addicted to Ginger Snaps I don't know where it started obviously in our youth what four well sometimes more but oh my God you're so see this is why you enjoy your life well yeah I mean why not that's true that's true because we get into these zones I think especially when you're you know your grandkids age and then I think about myself and I'm in my 50s and Sawyers in her mid 20s we're always like on to the next exercise and
doing the fast and doing this thing and you've always just enjoyed yourself I think that's a really important thing like since I've known you at least in terms of you're never on some weird ass diet or like restricting yourself in any way at least it doesn't seem like it well when I try you know I get these guilt things cuz you guys all do these restrictions Christopher does you know 75 hard or you know you're going to give up and I said to Christopher maybe I should stop drinking and Christopher says well at 86 I
wouldn't stop drinking okay guess what I won't I've already chilled the wine for tonight Jude um what do you have for dinner I usually have chicken or fish okay I'm not much of a meat eater how come give you gas no I just more and more when I wasn't eating meat I started to think about the animals I guess and if I go to your house for dinner and you serve meat I will eat it right but I won't order it at a restaurant and I I would prefer not to cook it yeah every now
and then I will what about dessert what's your your feelings on dessert well I I like cookies yes so I'll have a cookie You' established that a different kind of cookie maybe but most of the time I don't eat much dessert gotcha and you also don't eat a ton of food so you know what I mean but you eat healthy like you in all fairness when you get to be older yes you're just not that hungry oh is that something that happens yes really and I'm sure that the people that are listening to this have
parents and they'll notice that they're just they're not eating like they used to and it isn't because they're worried about their weight or anything it's just you you don't have that I mean when John and I go out to dinner we'll often split a main course rather than each have one cuz we realize that we don't finish it yeah so other than eating four Ginger Snaps with your uh smoothie do you have other health secrets so we've covered that walking every single day is an absolute must so is a yoga class or pilates class A
couple times a week what about water how much water do you drink uh not enough what JY is the anti-health expert you want to live a long life drink a lot don't drink a lot of water start with coffee skip breakfast go for a walk have some ginger snaps with your smoothie you know the one thing I do do I do have kombucha yes apple cider vinegar and a fresh orange gotcha so I think to myself you know that's liquid yeah well it's also sort of like Nature's Drano so when you have you know what
is commonly referred to as farmers switchel which my grandmother also drank Grandma Eileen also started every single day on the farm with warm water lemon juice apple cider vinegar and a little bit of honey and I honest to God man she went out she went out kicking and screaming like close to 100 years old tough as Nails maybe the secret is in that apple cider veg they say it cures everything including toe fungus do you have toe fungus like should we be worried about this no awesome so um what would you say to someone who's
listening or who has forwarded this to their loved one who's getting a little older so they're listening at the recommendation maybe of their daughter or their son or somebody who cares about them they haven't been as active as you have they feel inspired how would you recommend that they start if they don't know where or what to start with to get active again even though they're you know a little older well it I think it depends on if they're a social person okay um if they like to be with people they can always find a
gym class oh and I would you know if you they like to be with people and they've never done anything find a find a gym class and go to it and be with other people see what they're doing whether it's yoga or whether it's uh yoga bar or something yeah and if you're more sedentary or happy with yourself then just go out and take a walk you know on a beautiful day if it's raining then don't you know you're one of the most social people I know and you seem to have fun wherever you go
um how do you keep such an active social life well it's important that you reach out because you can't sit home and wait for people to call you and um I really learned that from you after Ken died and I had nothing on my calendar you said to me call somebody so you have something on your calendar and that that was such good advice Mel and so I stay active if somebody doesn't call me or I want to have a dinner party and nothing's going on then I create a dinner party and you know more
and more as you read about longevity it used to be the Mediterranean diet exercise but now the more I read social is becoming first then comes the diet in the exercise because I think being lonely or being by yourself causes depression M and it also you start to doubt yourself yeah when you're around people you get buil up people tell you you look attractive or they want to be with you and so you feel good about yourself you know it's interesting um you have always made an effort how long have you been a widow 18
19 years year 19 years this year Ken's been gone 19 years is that right 20 20606 holy that close I mean that's incredible I know and I remember that you always made an effort and always kept up and always reached out and always were planning things and you know that advice that I gave you about putting something in the calendar was just this thing that I've always felt which is when I look at a blank calendar I feel like a loser I start to spiral as you said I start to panic like I don't have
anything to do and then I start to feel like everybody's got plans but me and so making an effort to have something in the calendar that you can look forward to even if it's two weeks from now exactly like helps you from that spiral um but you recently moved to a community where there's a lot of programming and it's more of a retirement community what has been the difference that you've seen in putting yourself in a community where the whole point of it is to be with people that are retired and that are older and
to be in a community where there's stuff going on well first of all you know as my grandchildren call me it's a fomo yes you're a fomo I am a fomo and when my friends started moving to this community yeah I mean I after a dinner party with one of my friends and she said she was going I woke up the next morning I said I'm coming well I think a lot of people look at those retirement communities are like oh I don't want to don't put me in one of those and I watched my
grandmother when my grandfather died move into one and all of a sudden it was like like retirement Camp I couldn't believe how busy she was and happy she was and yeah so what have you noticed as somebody who's was actually already crazy busy first of all there's so much to choose from to do physically I mean they have pickle ball on grass now is that brilliant why don't more people have pickle ball on grass but anyway it's also a great feeling of security because I have a lot of friends that live around me and I've
met people when I moved in the second day I had orchids that were delivered from you know across the street she walked across the street hi my name is Mary blah blah blah um if I didn't come out of my house for four or five hours somebody would come and check on me wow that's how how it feels living here now in your house on 25 acres where you used to live where I used to live I mean I could have been here for days and where I used to live in Florida even though I
lived in a community yeah everybody did their own business you know I could have been flat out for a couple days and no one would have known the difference right it's very different when you're in a community like I'm in now what advice do you have for keeping friendship so strong reaching out to them and I do think that the older you get the more you realize the people you really want to be with so you don't feel compelled if you know Mary invites you for dinner and Mary's okay but she's not one of your
favorites right I used to say okay sure I'll come now I don't how come because I don't want to feel that I have to have Mary back to my house oh I mean I have some wonderful friends and those are the people I want to spend the most time with and I have a lot of friends so are you saying that the older that you get if you can not feel fill your calendar with the obligatory exactly things but take that same time and be intentionality about picking up the phone and calling people whether it's
family or it's people that you really really love hanging out with that's going to keep them strong I mean I used to have dinner parties all the time for eight 10 people now six is like the perfect number why is six people over the perfect number because six really talk to each other all together you know you don't have two people talking over here and two over here so by the end of the evening you really feel So Satisfied because you've really been with these people it's true it's true you know so you've had a
lot of Adventure in your life and I think uh there's a lot of questions that people have about it can you talk about what you did after your husband Ken died because I think this is advice that is relevant not only when you lose somebody that you love but also if you go through a divorce or you have some major change that happens in your life that makes you start to wonder who you are or what your next chapter is going to be so why don't you tell everybody what you did and how it changed
your life after Ken died well the first thing I did was I rented an apartment for three months in New York oh my God it was so lonely because you realize that when you're in New York City and and everybody's going one place or another and you have no place to go so I signed up um for art classes at the art students League okay so I had a reason to go someplace and come home or go to the movies um and then I took myself on a bike trip to New Zealand so I was
with other people you know one way that You' stayed active Jude is you plan these trips like bike trips with guides and with friends like through your 70s and 80s you you just have to make yourself be around other people you can't stay home and and feel sorry for yourself because nobody else is feeling sorry for you can you tell us a little bit about why especially after Ken died you started spending your Winters in Cambodia and volunteering there well I went there on a bike trip yep but this is where it gets interesting you
decide that the next year you're going to go back to Cambodia and you created an experience on your own where you reached out to an elementary school and you arranged to become a tutor to teach English to elementary school students and I just said you know I'm going to come back and teach English even though I wasn't a teacher I knew how to [Laughter] talk and and the other thing that I learned and asked was how to make a fool out of yourself if you can make a fool out of yourself you could teach English
even though you've never been a teacher and then you reached out to this NGO Cambodian Living Arts to say you'd like to get involved and you get on a plane and you fly to Cambodia and you're in your late 70s and you've never done anything like this before and you're going to live there what was it like to land in a foreign country knowing you were going to live there you were cuz everybody that knew you were like you're crazy what if something happens what if you have a heart attack you're going to be halfway
across the world you're going to do this on your own how's this going to work I mean were you ever scared like did you land and go what the hell am I doing I don't think I was scared I think I was excited um I love Adventure I love new things and I mean what else was I going to do stay at home it's just this was something different new and and it wasn't real hardship I mean I was staying in a hotel it's not like I was camping out in the streets that's true so
yeah but I just want to say that it took some balls to do something like that it did takes a lot to get on a plane and fly halfway around the world and just go I'm going to go live in Cambodia for three months and I'm going to create my own volunteer program and I'm going to just do that and not really know anybody and I'm going to figure it out and then next thing you you know you have a whole Community there well you know it's so interesting that you asked this question because actually
I put this down in a journal the other day I think I had a very difficult childhood and it gave me courage that I would not have had if my childhood had been all roses so I only went two years to college and there wasn't any money to send me beyond that and I even when I was writing my journal I questioned how I did it I just moved into Chicago at age 19 and got a job at American Airlines answering phones and then after I was there for a while I went upstairs and interviewed
to the number one um advertising agency at the time and got a job as a reception and then when I was there I decided I go to secretarial school and then after a year there I decided to move to San Francisco so you know when I was in high school they had only boy cheerleaders for 100 years I decided we should have girls and I somehow got the competition going and created we had girl cheerleaders and from then on New Trier High Schools had girl cheerleaders so I've always been pushing pushing myself into something that's
a little scary I love that I think we all need a little of that just a little push yeah a little JJ go geta yeah so what's your message to someone who's really lonely and lost especially after they've suddenly lost somebody that they love well they should first of all they should reach out to their closest friends if they can I think volunteering is probably one of the more gratifying things that you can do you won't be alone and you are going to be with people that probably aren't as well off as you so you
come away saying you know things aren't so bad look at who I just was with in hospice she's not even going to be around in another year MH so I think volunteering if it's little kids or if it's hospice or anything that you can do to take yourself out of yourself Incredible You Went Skydiving for the first time at the age of 80 how did that happen I don't I don't know I I can't remember one of the boys was it Christopher so fomo you're basically saying one of your sons was going to skydive and
you're like I'm in oh I know it's because when I was in New Zealand on that bike trip Heath had bunge jumped uhhuh and so I decided that if he's gonna Bunchie jump I'm gonna bun you're insane okay so I I don't know I did you like Bunchie jumping oh I loved it you did oh yeah it was so great what was so great about it well it's kind of scary when you really decide to go you know and then they start counting and you take off but I like things that kind of scare me
I don't like things that make me dizzy okay but I I kind of like SC scary things you got your first tattoo at 85 can you tell us the story and what did you get yeah that's a nice story so my really really close friend in Florida um was dying last March and so I went and saw her because I was I knew I wasn't going to see her again uh because I was leaving and I said to Diana I said Diana do you believe in life after death she said oh yeah I said really
what what do you believe in she saidoh I'm going to be a star and I thought that is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard I mean I'm not particularly religious we all wonder what's going to happen and I thought it makes so much sense that we're all going to be Stars that's why there's billions of stars and then of course I took it a step further I thought well if I'm a star I can go and visit my husband I can see my parents I can move around right shooting star so so I said
to Sawyer was it Sawyer yeah I said to Sawyer who's my daughter and your granddaughter I said you know I'm not one into tattoos but I think I'm going to get a little tattoo with a star and Sawyer said well then I'm going to get one and then we were like well then we're going to get one and then so then Kendall wanted one and next then your whole family said well we're all gonna get one y so I got one and I have a little one on my it's very small I mean you really
have to look for it but it's there and it's basically a picture of a planet and it has three stars and it has one is my husband Diana is at the top and the last one is John who I'm with now who will be the last star oh that's beautiful um you did a psychedelic Journey um in a therapeutic setting with me and my husband or your son Chris my husband and Sawyer and Kendall um at the age of 85 what did you learn from that MDMA guided journey I learned first of all that my
granddaughters loved me so much that that was that was pretty amazing I think I mean it they say it it's a love drug which I didn't even realize but wow I mean I really felt it it was probably the most is the word reinforcing of who I was and that you know I'm not alone and that I'm I'm very much loved what are some of your top life lessons that you've learned in 86 years well I think I've learned a lot more as I got older because I was I've always been energ itic but I
think I've always kind of wanted to be the center of attention and now at my age and I think I probably started this a couple years ago I'm much more patient I'm much more interested in listening to what somebody else has to say whereas before I would barely let you finish whatever your subject was before I had something to tell you about me um so tell me what was the question again sure some of the life lessons you've learned in your 86 years I think listening is probably one of the most incredible things that if
you can learn to listen to other people and listen to yourself that you'll you'll be content and now that you're 86 years old what have you stopped caring about well I still care about what I look like I mean I don't go to the grocery store without makeup on really no I mean I don't put eyeliner on or anything like that but I do put I go for a walk and the stuff that I put on my face um you know is has sunblock and it has color in it okay what do you put on
your face everyone's going to want to know oh it's called CC I have no idea CC it's they letter CC you can get it at Ulta okay and it has 50 in it okay and you just put it on it has color in it you can get all different colors Y and right away you don't look like okay you know what okay so you haven't stopped carrying what you look like no I haven't but maybe that's a good thing because you take care of yourself I do um but what have you stopped caring about now
that you're 86 that maybe you really cared about when you're younger I really don't care what people think about me and I think that for years and years and years and years it was very important what people thought about me and I probably went overboard to get people to have good thoughts about me or like me when I was little I was a incredible liar and I think I lied because I wanted I had these wonderful Tales to tell and I think that if I told them they would like me better and now I've created
who I am and you know the package is done and wrapped up do you remember like a moment or some because I know like every nobody wants to care nobody wants to worry about what other people think about them and yet it's a hard thing to teach yourself to really care more about what you think of yourself than what other people think of you is there any advice that you have about how somebody who is in that stage of people pleasing or lying or feeling really insecure about who they are how they could really learn
how to care more about how they feel about themselves they could listen to some of your podcast oh Judy I'm serious it would help I'm serious or some of your books I mean read some of these uh books about yourself or how to make yourself a mhm a better person yeah that's true because when you start to prioritize your health and you start to give back to other people and you start to really spend time doing some of the things that you've always thought about doing whether it's taking a painting class or right write taking
up a journaling practice or seeing yourself getting out and walking every day you do become proud of yourself and when you're so busy trying to impress other people I think deep down you're not really proud of yourself and so that's one way that you can stop caring so much about other people is really do invest the time in bettering yourself and your health and learning more and giving back and you'll start to notice you're proud of yourself for sure um you know what do you wish you knew when you were younger that you do that
you know now oh I certainly wish that I had concentrated about learning in school I never cared about learning I just cared about having a good time all through grammar school high school right through college I and now I think that's why I read so much because I never did when I was young and uh it's just it's it's such wasted time that I I mean I went to such a good high school and all I did was have a good time um what is your biggest regret now that you're 86 that's probably it is
not learning all the things that I I mean I'm very Street Smart definitely but I'm not book smart I think that's a story you tell yourself you are one of the most well- read people I know I know Judy you tell this story that you're not that you're not like Street Smart books smart I think you're very smart I I wish you would change that story I know well I know other people have said that too but but I live in my own shell so I know what I know and what I don't know okay
well you're very humble in that regard but you are one of the most well- read people I know you forward me more New York Times articles than the New York Times does to read so yes you are very well read could you speak directly to the person who's listening to you right now and you know maybe they feel like the best days of their life are behind them what would you say to them I would say that when you lay when you wake up in the morning you say to yourself I am so grateful that
my eyes opened and that I can swallow and I can get out of bed brush my teeth and start a day how lucky am I I don't care whether you have to reach for a can or a walker or anything the fact that you have the privilege to still be alive I am very very grateful for that and how about somebody who feels like they're really behind in life you know you've got three sons and they've been in various stages in their careers and you've got you know all these grandkids and so you've seen not
only in your own life but you've seen in the lives of family members and people that you care about that people can start to feel like you know I'm not as successful as I should be or I'm not my marriage isn't work whatever it may be I'm not where I should be what's your advice when you see somebody who feels behind in life I would start probably looking at books about how to better yourself emotionally you know not necessarily you don't have to learn another language or anything like that but there's so much out there
that you can learn by just reading about little things that you can tweak about yourself so there are going to be so many listeners around the world Judy that not only fall in love with you but are now like thinking about their grandparents or their parents right and I know they are going to forward this episode as a little nudge like come on now you could have more energy I really want you to feel more connected you know worried about you being so lonely maybe you should volunteer they're going to be kind of wanting to
prod them along a little bit what advice would you have for someone who wants to really Inspire their loved ones to find more energy and meaning in their life even into their 80s 90s and 100 well if they could encourage their parents or their grandparents they could say something like you know why don't we take a walk together young people tend to want to tell their parents or their grandparents to do this do that do that but how about saying you know what let's do this together you know if you don't live close by get
on a plane or drive there you want to take a walk around the block you want to take a walk don't always make it up to them to have to do it all by themselves I think that's amazing so one of my best friends Jody uh moved from Santa Barbara back home to Michigan yeah and she part of the impetus was just kind of know feeling like I don't know how much time I'm going to have with them and and going I want to be there and go on the walk with them and I love
that thing like don't give them the advice sign up for the class with them she was just explaining this the other night she was like I said what are you doing this week she said well I found a uh opportunity to judge a bass fishing competition so I signed my dad and I up and we're going to go and I have no idea how to judge a bass fishing competition but he's so excited and I thought what a beautiful thing that you weren't just prodding him to do something that you found something and that you
are doing it with them so many people write in and say they wish their life was more purposeful how have you found a sense of purpose in your life now that you're 86 just staying connected you know or you know I think that so many people think you know I should have a hobby um I think that's a full of you don't have to have a hobby you just have to have a reason why you want to get up and that reason is that you're so lucky that you can that you you know you can
do something um I mean I just called my best friend from high school who I haven't spoken to in I God I don't know when just to see if she's alive cuz she's the same age as I am was she yes but not in great mind I don't think in terms of Alzheimer's or dementia I don't know I think so I mean she usually would ask me about myself or my kids and it was little flat yeah a little like I just assum get off the phone gotcha but I'm glad I called her and then
after that last week I just called another friend and I did connect with her so that I could find out you know high school was you know we graduated in 1955 wow so you make an effort like you literally it sounds like there's two things first of all you practice this profound sense of gratitude that you even woke up and the second thing is you make it a point to reach out to people every day that that connection whether it is reciprocated or not is something that gives your life meaning yes and I think what's
really important is don't expect to have a feedback like we have this chain called the robins gang uhhuh and I send out you know pict it's a family it's a multi-generational family group chat that is everybody's on that Judy created and so I'll send out you know a picture which I just did last week literally two people will heart it and yeah maybe maybe no there's 18 of us on there and I get nothing and so you know maybe I'll send it out again and I still don't get anything well I don't Harbor I don't
think like oh my God they don't love me or they're not they're busy but at least I'm making them aware that I'm still around I think that's a really important part because it is so easy to put something out whether it's I always invite or I always call or I'm always the one putting something in the family group chat and no body's reciprocating it's very very easy to start to get resentful sure and to then pull back you don't do that well everybody's busy I know that it's my way of saying don't forget about me
I'm still around it is amazing it's not so easy to do um if the person listening Jude takes just one action based on everything that you spoke about today what what do you think the most important thing to do is it's the is it is it the Ginger Snaps with the Smoothie the most important yeah if they only take because everybody's busy and they're going to listen and really laugh with you and forward this to somebody that they love to inspire them to start walking or connecting or feeling more grateful or realizing that the best
days aren't behind you because the days are what you make of them and the people that you care about are still there and there are people that you know that are still there and you can reach out and so there's a lot that you've given people to think about whether it's jumping out of airplanes or getting a tattoo or you know your just philosophy of staying active and why even reading and walking every day gives more energy to your life so there's a lot and I love to have the person listening know what you think
the singular most important thing is like they're not going to remember everything so what's the most important thing in your mind if they were only to follow one piece of your advice that would make the biggest difference to reach out to your friends stay connected so you don't feel alone that would be the most important because loneliness will just bring you down and that brings sickness taking meds that you probably don't even need one thing leads to another if you stay connected if you have a problem pick up the phone and tell be honest with
your friend if you cry cry say you know I'm I'm lonely can I come over and see you so you know we don't have a lot of time in this world so I think you reach for the golden ring when you can still see it that's beautiful what are your parting words stay in love stay in love love what does that mean just love your being love yourself love your friends love your life you just never know when it's going to end and believe me when you get to be my age you think a lot
more about the fact that you have a lot of friends who aren't here anymore so no wonder you're the most popular expert we have on the Mel Robbins podcast thank you Mel oh thank you I love you you are such a gift to all of us but to me in particular I just love you so much I love you and I love your podcast thank you and for you being here with us I also just want to say I love you too and I believe in you and I bet Judy does too I do and
I believe in your ability to create a better life now you listen to this 86 yearold and go do it get your rear end out for a walk and then call your friends you can thank us later I'll talk to you a few days thank you so much I just want to take a quick pause and say thank you thank you thank you for watching the Mel Robins podcast on YouTube I love that you are trying to improve your life by watching this episode that's going to help you feel happier every day and simple things
you can do to improve your health did you know that doing things for other people is one thing that is proven to make you feel happy so let me ask you a favor can you click the Subscribe button below it will help you stay up to date on the Mel Robins podcast episodes and it will help me bring more information like this to you totally free and if you like this video you have to watch this one coming up next this one study will change how you think about your entire life check it out
