you know you learn this as a clinical psychologist and you know this generally you know unless you're an extraordinarily fortunate person um you don't have to talk to someone for very long and and really talk to them and get beneath the surface until you find you know there's a tragedy or two or three or ten lurking not very far beneath the surface someone in the family is very ill there's a childhood history of extreme pathology alcoholism somewhere in the family maybe a touch of insanity someone has cancer you know someone some an older relative is
dying there's financial trouble there's economic trouble there's marital trouble it's like life is trouble and now you know it that doesn't mean it's all trouble but man it's trouble and sometimes it's it's a lot of trouble and sometimes it's so much trouble that you can you can barely stand it and and you see that because people you know people get depressed and they commit suicide and the reason they do that is because they think not being is better than being and that's quite the decision you know so and and it's not that uncommon among people
who are depressed and so it's it's it's a very it's a very important thing to consider and it and it isn't just a matter of depression and suicide that's bad enough but you know if you're unhappy because your suffering has pushed you past the point of your ability to cope then there's all sorts of other things that can happen to you that aren't directed towards you you can become cynical and you can become bitter and you can become cruel and you can become narcissistic and deceitful and arrogant and and it's like everything's for you and
then you're out for revenge that's a nice one i don't know against who but maybe everyone maybe even including you because you're not happy about the role you've played in generating your own misery i mean there's a lot of darkness underneath the suffering and so and and that's that's an ever-present existential danger for human beings you know we're aware of the future we're aware of our fragility we're aware of our mortality it's something that makes us truly unique truly conscious in a way that no other creature is and capable of things that no other creature
can do but also bearing an unbelievably heavy existential load we're the only creatures that have to always contend with the fact that we're finite and that everyone we know is in the same position that allied with the suffering and so that's there all the time and and you know even even in in the brightest moments in some sense you know in in in renaissance paintings in in still life they used to put a momento momento mori often in the in the still life like a skull somewhere in the corner or sometimes sometimes in in a
very strange perspective so that you could only see the skull if you were standing like right beside the painting instead of dead on but the idea was to always remember you know that everything that exists is tainted or touched with the with the with the with it with the taint of mortality and you know that's rough but there's some useful things in it it keeps you awake and it keeps you focused if you're careful but it also does indicate to you if you think about it the necessity of having a meaning in your life you