welcome to encanto which starts off with an italian little marble about this magic gift she's about to get from a magic candle and she's like is this [ __ ] magic damn right and she tells her about this whole story how she ran away from home when she had three babies because uh i'm guessing what our americans evicted them or took their land or whatever and killed their husband so they're obviously latino or hispanic is that the same thing they're his platino annex listen i'm ignorant and stupid just go with it okay so how he
dies she cries and ken's like don't cry watch me go super saiyan and gives them a bunch of mountains and a magic house that's alive a bunch of land and probably kills the four attackers let's do and when her children came of age this miracle candle also gave them all a gift so like when they hit puberty or is there a set age oh wait maybe a blank door just pops up and that's when i know it's time anyway they touch the knobs the doorknobs that is and get a gift aka power and so do
their children and so on and so forth you know fourth generation also get gifts and [ __ ] and they made a community that they help with their powers and stuff and this is the day that marvel gets her gift capisce then we cut to grown up marvel helping set up the house with the house while singing about her family's gifts to some children but [ __ ] that [ __ ] because i spread the cheeks the movie expression my own way see candle give gift anybody who get gift get door and that door leads
to a room that is magically bigger on the inside than it is on the outside kind of like your mom's [ __ ] and the first person with the door is obviously grandma don't know exactly what her power is but i am guessing that she is the keeper of the candle because the candle's in her room and the person the house listens to the most or something like that keeper of the flame whatever next her daughter and marvel's mom who can heal people with food super useful power next scan depression and his other daughter she
can control the weather looks like more with her emotions and you know her brain which is kind of a [ __ ] deal because she's a stupid emotional female next on a third kid budo who has voldemort's status among this family because they don't talk about him because he sees the future and they think he bad luck bad juju and one day after one of his visions he left also extra information about him to have visions or use his power he needs a big empty space with lots of dry sand kind of like your mom's
[ __ ] next advanced rainy [ __ ] got three kids first one being acoustic and by that i mean she can hear everything everywhere it's gonna be like a set limit to that right like a radius also imo it's kind of a shit-tier burden of a gift next kind of her is a troll idiot with a troll power which is shape-shifting next of her kids is little antonio who's going to get his parrots today but let me spoil it for you he can talk to animals next he leave it she got three kids too
and i got the kids i don't know why one of them is super duper strong and the other one can make wait for flowers another baloney tear power but even worse than that we got marble who didn't get [ __ ] a fact that these kids are very supportive of i am just as special as the rest of my family all right guys where do i drop the wagon maybe your gift is being in denial i like that kid she's going places now back to the movie the song goes on madrigals blah blah and i'm
sure she's strong but that bird should collapse under his own weight if it's held like that but whatever maybe it's held together with magic [ __ ] too they're all prepping for tony's gift receiving celebration with everyone harking on about how she didn't get a gift way to drive that point home movie and then as loki haki being an [ __ ] like stay out the way useless giftless gringo they can't find antonio so she goes into her normal plebian room where she knows he is to give him a present to chill his nerves a
bit is he afraid that he won't get a gift like her and she's like don't worry at home he'll do fine and as he has to go up the stairs to touch the candle and then the blank magical door to reveal his power the pressure amounts and he asks her to hold his hand while he goes up there which is odd because you're supposed to do the low and [ __ ] and as they walk together she gets memories of her gift receiving ceremony or whatever failing to launch with her door disappearing and the flame
flood herring he touches all the crap he needs to touch and immediately starts talking to a two con that lands on his shoulder they open the room and he has a mini jungle in it they part hey and then is like let's all take a picture what year is this and why the [ __ ] is the camera so goddamn old doesn't matter because they leave out marvel whether that's on purpose or by mistake is unimportant because she starts singing a sad song about how she's so sad she has no powers and she's useless i
don't know why this [ __ ] complaining though cause she can clearly slow down time anyway at the end of the song their house gets cancer she notices it vibrating and cracks all the way up to the candle window with the flame and the doors flickering so she burst into the party like the house is in danger scott scoliosis cracks all over the [ __ ] walls dog they go out to see and find nothing and nobody believes her nana's like quit your [ __ ] and let's get zoinked [ __ ] they go back
to the pate and that night she can't sleep because she's too busy overthinking about the flame and [ __ ] so she climbs up to the roof makes her way over to the candle and i have no idea why she's doing this like what's the big idea here kid you gonna pour some gasoline on that [ __ ] what's the plan whatever nana shows up like [ __ ] i miss you pedro i need you cracks in our casita this [ __ ] blows what if our whole miracle is dying oh we can't lose our
home blue so marvel takes it upon herself to save the miracle and she suits somebody to go rescue it from the jaws of death when she realizes she has no idea what the hell she's doing and she goes a minute [ __ ] my dog and she decides to go to the hero at all who's gotta know something about this losing the power stuff or losing the miracle stuff and next morning she tells her that the only person worried about this magic stuff is her and the rest of the wall and her hung sister because
she heard her eye twitching throughout the night if you heard that then you heard nana talking to pedro last night will you leave that out hold does she have selective hearing because if not as i said this power sucks cause that means she can hear everything from the whale of all the women that are giving birth in this town to every teenage boy in this enchanted aggressively masturbating to the extra piece of curvy ass they call their neighbor's daughter hell i bet she probably heard someone busting the fat one to her this power sucks yo
how's she not going insane whatever at the dinner table she keeps trying to ask her hunk's sister about it while grandma tells flower girl that the dumbass that's about to propose to her wants to squeeze five babies out of her and luisa gets away marvel follows her annoys her into sing a song about how everyone expects her to be strong and she and she kind of feels soft and she feels that if she's not strong she's a useless member of this community or just a useless piece of [ __ ] in general all the while
she's singing this she's still grabbing [ __ ] from physically unideal or impossible areas to grab [ __ ] from after sunday marvel comforts her and luisa tells her that she overheard the grown-ups talking about bruno having a vision about this [ __ ] when they were kids and she should go look in his room or his tower for this last vision he had and she'll know the vision when she sees it i don't know how the hearing girl didn't overhear this maybe that was before they got their powers though i don't know so she
goes to where the casita cannot enter for somebody now because it's a deactivated uh i don't know why but it is and as big as a hail full of sand and she goes up to the tower on a bunch of stairs jumps the scap with a makeshift indiana jones rope and then goes into the spooky empty vault and finds glowing green shorts of glass in the sand and while the door shuts on her and the place starts falling apart she speed runs collecting all this green glass and tries to get out before dying kind of
like how i'm speedrunning saying this bit because i have a lot of [ __ ] to say about this crap number one why is the room deactivated when he technically did not leave number two this door is clearly gonna close on its own why don't you prop it up with a rock or something you [ __ ] stupid [ __ ] taco it can't be open from the inside but that's besides the point she didn't know that the last second number three she gets out of the room right but how the hell did she do
that that rope is clearly gonna settle right there if not further back you're telling me she jumped all that [ __ ] stuck in my fat [ __ ] movie number four she didn't hurt herself at all digging for these sharp shots of glass super fast although she cut herself in a broken piece of clay pot this is [ __ ] whatever she gets out and while they prep for flower girl's boyfriend to come over and propose to her she asks weatherhole about bruno and basically the whole family goes into song about how they're not
supposed to talk about bruno while talking about bruno and how much of an evil [ __ ] he is being sort of a jinx and [ __ ] so she does the green glass puzzle and sees herself in front of her house broken house and her dad sees this and she tells him everything and he's like everything's fine no one has to know except mega ears and she snitches at the food table uh yeah whatever the food table and basically everybody finds out what a [ __ ] i don't know why she does this but
long story short buff girl starts to lose their powers a bit and the house starts to crack it's our raccoon steal the green puzzle and put together for them to see while all their powers go a little bit haywire and the proposal gets feduncled they all blame her then some rats take the vision and go into the wall so she falls up into the wood and in there she finds critically acclaimed music artist bruno mars who runs away from her inside the walls of the house she almost falls into this pit let me guess he's
about to savory up there goes he saves her but not really because it's not that deep unlike your mom's but they get up and she finds out he'd been living in the walls ever since that last vision because he knew everyone would blame him although he's just a messenger he only sees this possible future they're the ones that make it not him they're the [ __ ] and ain't boone's fault he good guy and he loves his family and wants to help it but he doesn't know how because you know everything he does sucks and
he says his last vision he had was a bit changing and he left to protect her and kind of him and he's like sorry i wish i could see more and she's like well let's see more [ __ ] and he's like even if i wanted to i can't because he wrecked my vision cave and i need a big open space to have visions how does he know about that you didn't mention anything also it's not like you lack any big open areas in your room without your vision cave [ __ ] anyway the rest
told antoni everything and he offers up his room for divisioning they use it and they see what looks like the same [ __ ] but more there's a butterfly and the candle gets brighter when marvel hugs her flower sister which pisses her off because they got queef between them because she thinks that she's miss perfect and always has everything going her way and miss perfect thinks that she is always in the way and is a [ __ ] i guess yeah so bruno leaves and she goes into her sister's room and they fight echoing the
[ __ ] i just said a second ago by the way this is the last one we see and i am [ __ ] pissed mate i want to see the rest does buff girl have a gym in her room does morph boy have a bunch of pictures of random people on the wall they can morph into is marble's mom's room just masterchef does she have gordon ramsay in her room i need to know also this host powers only actual uses making her room smell good and help bees make honey also apparently she can make
ropes [ __ ] fantastic bro but if someone's dying all she can do is provide flowers for that sucker's funeral that's it useless power that changes though cause she goes into the song about how she has all this pressure to be perfecto in this encounter and like get a lot of babies from this dude she doesn't even like because her powers are so damn useless she's still of more use being a goddamn baby oven that's basically what she's saying here okay but now through fighting and pressure and song and whatever she makes a different type
of plant and she's happy she made something new and different expressing her imperfectness and whatnot all i really see is she can grow crops now good for you kid anyway more song and dance they hug [ __ ] out and the flame gets better [ __ ] gets fixed too nana sees them and she gets mad as hell like what are you doing mirabelle what are you doing with my perfect baby maker i'm fixing the miracle no you ain't fixing [ __ ] four eyes you're breaking it you're the one ruining the gift with all
this pressure on us to be perfect nothing's ever good enough for you saggy tits wrinkly [ __ ] say tits wrinkly put at least i got some dick on like you you eternal eunuch you should be in a box slowing down the river grandma and while they fight cracks form all over the incantu through their house too and the candle starts being endangered because the casita is falling apart a couple of them try to save it but in doing so not in doing so i mean they lose their powers while doing it and the one
who actually succeeds to get to the candle and grab it is marble while they all get shepherded out of the house by the house bruno juggernauts his way out the walls like legend and the house protects marble from itself falling apart the candle oddly melts out super quickly and the casita is dead and these boards should not fall to the outside like that if they're propped up like that but whatever there are a lot of models pretty sad so she runs away through the cracked mountain they're all looking for her and we get this shot
we haven't found her yet i don't know why padding to them for this one line seemed out of place unnatural and just a bit forced not gonna lie who cares though saggy pocahontas finds crying marble at the river where she got the gift that [ __ ] yellow hair blue eyed horse riding that killed her hubby we got a bunch of memories of her with her husband and her kids and stuff and when she got the gift and grew old and you see all the kids with the pressure of living up to her expectations while
she walks past their rooms and wait a minute bruno's rooms not walk past the bull the [ __ ] anyway more memories of how the horse fighting [ __ ] force people out of their homes and she like i've been given a miracle and i was so afraid to lose that i lost sight of who was actually four and now i'm the reason it's broken oh my god and i was like don't say at home you suffered so much alone and you were given a miracle because of you bloody bloody blood all that stuff and
then butterflies are this division location oh my god hugs all around flies all right no that's not flies butterflies all around and they go back home to their screwed up house bruno re-enters the family sphere and they're glad he and marvel are back they are like we'll be okay but the shapeshifter dudes like not if we don't have a house what we don't have a house i can't say we don't have a house what is that not a house they go into song for hopefully the last god for second time of this movie rebuilding their
home with the grateful helpful townspeople also i'm guessing marvel's gift is taking nana's place when she finally does float down the river they build their house again in like a day ear [ __ ] gets with um this guy and with the final doorknob touch the house comes back to life they all get their powers back they don't get a new candle though so what are all the future generations going to touch together powers doesn't matter this movie gets an empire state building out of a burj khalifa [Music] [Music] you
