"Holiday Magic" is women's INVISIBLE LABOR

everyone else gets all these benefits whenever you create the holiday season for them okay you create all this magic for everyone and they get all these benefits okay and yet they can't even see you appreciate you thank you okay we're not doing that anymore okay let this be the last holiday season where we see women crying on camera because no one got them anything because no one thought about them during the holiday season but then they thought about everything and everyone else okay you perpetuate the behavior that you tolerate so you already know what you

don't want so don't pick that okay I'm watching you hey bestie welcome to the spoiled girly support group podcast where we talk about how to get that bag while also securing your own bag I'm your host L and let's get into it on today's episode we are talking about how we are so thankful for her for all the women who create the magic of the holidays and the often overlooked invisible and underappreciated and unpaid labor that women do do during this time and obviously women do that year round but it's like even more so during

the holidays so we're going to get into all of that and make visible the invisible labor that women do and appreciate the underappreciated things that women do for their families during this time because if I see another Tik Tok video of a woman crying because she didn't get anything for Christmas okay I don't want to see that anymore so we're doing this a couple weeks before Christmas Christmas I swear I do not want to see another woman crying because she didn't get anything for Christmas crying because she did everything for everyone and no one did

anything for her so today's class is basically to make sure that that doesn't happen on Christmas to you and to the women around you okay it's time to hold people accountable now okay like we're not sacrificing so much for everyone anymore when they don't do the same thing for us okay now we have lot to cover but before we get into it I need you to hit the like subscribe and the notification Bell so you never miss a spoiled your early episode with that being said let's get into it as I said in the intro

a lot of the work that women perform during the holidays falls into what we call invisible labor and the term was coined by sociologist and writer Arlene Kaplan Daniels in 1987 and it refers to the kind of activity largely undertaken by women that largely happens in private and is almost always unpaid the kind of activity that takes planning skill experience knowledge physical action or mental agility but somehow isn't considered work and the invisible labor can fall into three categories the first is cognitive labor which is the thinking required to run a household it's thinking about

what to cook planning trips to the grocery store making sure the husband remembers to pick up the dry cleaning and it's like having a running mental list of everything that needs to be done and the second is emotional labor which refers to the work that is done to manage the emotional climate of the household and it's basically making sure that everyone is happy and like having their needs met and like having their feelings heard and number three the mental load and this refers to both the cognitive and emotional labor required to keep everything running smoothly

in the household now when you combine all three of these things you now have a family and household project manager who more often than not never really wanted or didn't expect to find themselves being the sole person who was responsible for that role okay like do you know how much project managers get paid okay like they make bank and a lot of women do that job for free okay and I get it's for your family but like why is it unappreciated why is it unseen like why is it unnoticed and why is it uncompensated okay

and a lot of the times this is going to be a theme throughout the class is that a lot of the times the women are working regular degular W2 1099 work place jobs too you know like okay so you're doing all of that plus doing project manager stuff for your own home and like what does the man do and obviously like not not all men I hate that but like obviously this conversation applies to the women who feel unseen and unheard and underappreciated in their Partnerships in their families okay so obviously if it doesn't apply

then it doesn't apply like no no us not sit in front Okay like annoying okay like I get it like I know that there are countless family Dynamic setups out there and some households do practice equal or equitable distribution of the invisible labor but studies show that women take the brunt of the housework including cooking cleaning and child care analyzing data from 1965 to 2011 Pew found that American Mothers consistently spent more time than fathers on housework and in 1965 mothers averaged about 32 hours per week on housework while fathers spent about 4 hours by

2011 the Gap had narrowed but mothers still spent more time on these tasks and these studies underscore the persistent gender disparities in household labor with women bearing a disproportionate share of the domestic responsibilities and actually the holidays are no exception like honestly the holidays are even worse for women because it's even more stressful for mothers and wives and girlfriends and daughters and sisters who bear this responsibility of making sure that everything is in place and everyone else is unwinding relaxing and just like stuffing themselves with like delicious food like a lot of the women are

running themselves ragged while the men just exist okay in a podcast by the University of Denver Newsroom host Emma Atkinson and economic Professor Paula Cole talk about the different things that women have to think about for just one than giving dinner and the two of them go back and forth on this so they said so the list I came up with is to have that Thanksgiving celebration and you are hosting it you need to think about inviting the guest making travel Arrangements deciding on a date and time coordination you need to plan the menu you

need to do the grocery shopping you need to do the cooking which means burning the turkey monitoring the turkey all day making the pies the sides the snacks the appetizers you need to clean the home pre- and post Gathering meaning you have dishes you have floors the bathrooms maybe extra bedding the guest room and all of those pieces you might even need to think about what clothes everyone is wearing for the big meal are you going to decorate the home for Thanksgiving and what it might look like do you have any particular Traditions that you

uphold around Thanksgiving that you need to make sure you have the necessary supplies for like I am so exhausted just like reading all of that I can't even imagine doing all of that okay the holidays definitely increase the workload for women so much in a way that it doesn't for men and this gets us into the historical context for gender roles and the holidays so so this idea that women should be in charge of domestic labor especially during the holidays it's not new to us right now this has been a reality for a lot of

the families who have the setup that it's the women who run themselves ragged trying to make the holidays magical for their families especially for their children but did you know that historically the holidays wasn't specifically just women's work in the 17th and 18th centuries the holidays weren't really a time for family it was actually a time to connect with your neighbor and plot twist it was the men who typically organized these social events in order to Foster the interpersonal connections that they needed for business and in the 19th century however these social ties they began

to become separate from business or political ties and it was partly due to the Industrial Revolution introducing New Economic structures and professional environments and as Industries expanded the workplace became more specialized and professional roles were increasingly separated from personal social networks and this period also saw the rise of the separate spheres ideology which separated the public realm of economic production and political Life as a quote unquote male domain and the domestic sphere as a female one so it was around this era the Industrial Revolution era when men started becoming the bread winners and women took

over interpersonal connections which sociologists called kin keeping and we're going to get into that in a little bit it's one of the themes of today's Class 2 is kin keeping now back to Thanksgiving between preparing the dinner and overseeing family d dyamics it's no wonder that a lot of women don't actually feel thankful on Thanksgiving like they're feeling overwhelmed overstimulated like hagger okay like they're just not vibing and although many families do not operate like this like may this type of love never find a spoiled gires no okay in these families where it's the women

who do everything the men just like sit back and do nothing like the women they're literally unpaid indentured servants for the men like no okay so I acknowledge that there are families who do not operate like this because I see this firsthand that there are families who are not at all like the families that we are describing but today's class is a support group for the women who find themselves in these situations okay so although I know that there are families who do not operate like this plenty of families still do and this unfortunate reality

for a lot of women is highlighted in popular media as well in France the TV series Monica was always tasked with cooking everything and hosting the dinner at her apartment while other people got to enjoy their day off and I get that Monica was a professional chef but whenever we were shown her having help in the kitchen it's almost always the girls and the three boys they were never shown helping out and in one episode Chandler even told Phoebe that he's fake watching football just so he could stay uninvolved in the kitchen and in the

How I Met Your Mother TV show when Lily goes to Minnesota to spend Thanksgiving with Marshall's family she and the other women in the family prepare dinner while the men play Basque ice ball and I want to bring up this pattern that whenever women gather it's all about producing creating cooking baking for others like there's always a Vibe of productivity but when men gather it's all about nonproductive Leisure like like watching sports like football or playing basketball or Bas iceball like doing anything but help put together a social event a meal that they're actively participating

in like do you see the contrast like whenever it's women doing something together it always has to be productive it always has like even if it's like a Leisure activity it always has to produce something that everyone else can enjoy but when it's men gathering together with their boys it's always like non-productive like go cook something okay once again may this type of love never find the spoiled girles okay and here's the thing like the men who do actual physical hard manual labor like who actually use the pickup trucks that they bought to haul stuff

that they use to build things you know men who don't need women to build with them um the bluecollar men okay like they're in charge of the holidays they're doing the turkey they're doing the mashed potatoes they're doing the prime rib like if the blue collar men can step up and take charge of the holidays or be an equal contributor to the holidays for their families I'm pretty sure that guy who sits in an office at his 95 can help out in the kitchen and this excuse that like oh well he he works so hard

like he's paying for everything anyway so why can't he just rest like okay so you know the trouble with women gaining access to working a job and like being in the workplace you know the problem with that the problem with that is that we know that the job isn't that hard okay so you can't use that excuse anymore and a lot of the times like I said the women are also working their own 95 jobs and they're doing the holidays okay so like that excuse that like oh well he paid for everything or he helped

to pay for everything like okay wow the bare minimum like are we supposed to clap like that grinds my gears like wow the bare minimum he paid for stuff like I said if this blue collar man working that hard physical manual labor job can make a meal for his family during the holidays can get a gift a thoughtful gift for his wife during the holidays I'm pretty sure this man who works a 9o5 at an office can do too okay annoying now back to these TV shows like when things like this are written into shows

for their potential as a joke or like a comedic source of relief like I'm not into that because like it's not funny okay it's not funny like is the comedy in the room with us like no it it's not hilarious okay like and the way that they phrase it as a joke as if we're supposed to find it funny is just very telling that they don't think it's embarrassing like that is so embarrassing for the man to do that like wow zero adult life skills weaponized incompetence like at this point like oh my God I

keep seeing these videos on Tik Tok like I need to get off of this algorithm okay I do not claim this that a lot of women are like making these lists for their boyfriends and then they put the aisle number like I don't even know the aisle number for the grocery store but like these women they put like even pictures oh oh my God it's like they're ordering from a catalog it's like they're creating an itemized order list for the men to go grocery shopping like what like no he's not a child and honestly they

can go grocery shopping and you know why the reason why they make it seem like oh I can't go grocery shopping you're just so much better at it than I am it's because they don't want to do it anymore like they are trying so hard to be bad at grocery shopping so that they no longer have to do it and you know what that's totally fine okay you don't have to go grocery shopping anymore and I'm not doing it either okay because we're not going to be together anymore okay like why is weaponized incompetence not

an ick yet for a lot of people okay like gross it it's I can't okay like eldest daughter core like a lot of the eldest daughters like we cannot tolerate this weaponized incompetence like what do you mean like you don't have adult life skills like you should feel like you're robbing a cradle whenever you're with a man who doesn't have like these adult life skills like grocery shopping cooking cleaning like side eye now let's get into the Nuance because I'm saying all of this as as someone who loves to cook and bake and plan parties

like my notion Pages for the holidays or like any social event or anything happening in my life like they go hard okay like I love planning things especially for like social events or like you said I'm going to do with other people like The Vibes are there the menu is there like the gift list handmade gifts like the holiday season is my Super Bowl like I love the holidays and like the holidays are like a type A Creative girly's dream like you just get to make everything for everyone and like I don't know I love

it I love it I love the holidays and I love being in charge of the holidays okay like holiday prep is a part-time job but guess what like if you're that type of girly like I am like you can't be doing everything okay like everyone else around you your family members your partner your children like they all have to be pitching in okay like everyone has to pull their weight okay like coming empty-handed or doing that and then not helping out like were you raised in a barn okay like and somehow women put up with

it and maybe it's because they don't think that they shouldn't be putting up with it and they think that it's normal because it's all they've ever seen modeled from their parents from the other families that they've seen growing up and now they think that that is what's normal that women do everything and then men the men just like sit back and do nothing okay and like I said like the worst thing to happen to a below bare middle effort man is a woman seeing how easy their jobs are because now they can't use that excuse

anymore okay and especially like I said like the men who are doing the physical hard manual labor jobs they're still taking charge of the holidays they're still cooking they're still cleaning like a lot of them love washing dishes for some reason like okay so no you can't you can't use that ex anymore like I'm so tired from work I peed for everything shut up the women were working too just in a different location okay like if you find yourself in this situation like let this be the last holiday season that you put up with this

okay because either they change or you change them as in you replace them okay like like annoying like you cannot go another holiday season overworked and overlooked like it's not going to get any better okay and a lot of the girlies with their weaponized and competent boyfriends who can't even go grocery shopping who can't even get them a cool gift for Valentine's Day for their birthday for the holidays like do you think it's going to get better when you get married to them do you think that like automatically they're going to be more thoughtful more

mindful like No And A lot of times like they get you gifts and it's like oh well it's a thought that counts but like there wasn't even an ounce of thought put into the thing like nothing counts okay there wasn't even a thought ticks me off okay like women need to have higher expectations of the people around them like you need to have higher expectations of the people around you because everyone else around you has higher expectations for you okay so like why are you not holding them to the same expectations that they hold you

to okay especially for your life partner like okay and even if you're single girly like you're an eldest daughter middle daughter whatever you're a daughter like same thing like you need to have higher expectations for the people around you if your father your brother or your male family members they're the type of men to sit around while all the women do everything else for them and like they literally do nothing and just vegetate there okay like you cannot change these people okay they've been like that but then why are you going to turn around and

choose a man who behaves like that too okay you perpetuate the behavior that you tolerate so you already know what you don't want so don't pick that okay I'm watching you and the vibe as usual when it comes to choosing your life partner it's choosing not changing okay like you choose a man who's already built how you want him built okay like this isn't Builder bro okay you can't train a man to be something that he's not or that he doesn't want to be because if he wanted to be that he'd already be that okay

like if he's not built how you want him to be he can live his best life okay like I said you don't have to change him but like he can live his best life away from you anyway I am so passionate about this because of the effects of all this invisible labor on women and especially women's health studies have found that an imbalance in household labor is associated with poor health and domestic work has been linked to pain in the neck back and shoulders and even cardiovascular disease and data shows that invisible labor also affects

women mentally according to the office on women's health at least half of all women in the US report higher levels of stress during the holiday season and the American Psychological Association also conducted a study to explore the effects of stress during the holidays and found that women experienced a more dramatic spike in stress levels during Thanksgiving Hanukkah and Christmas then man the study found that when as if their stress levels were higher than normal over the holidays 44% of women said yes as opposed to 31% of men when asked if they felt able to relaxed

over the holidays only 27% of women said yes in contrast 41% of men strongly agreed that they felt relaxed during the holidays the apaa also determined that in order to cope with stress women most frequently turn to food for comfort 41% and drinking as an escape 28% like how sad is that okay like women are out here like making magic during the holidays like making magic for everyone else but then no one makes magic for them and like I mentioned earlier the work that women do during the holidays is not even exclusive to the things

that they do with tangible outputs like gifts or decorations or preparing meals a lot of women's invisible labor also includes nurturing relationships within the family during the holiday Gatherings from mediating conflicts to making sure that each guest feels like warm and welcomed and there's actually a term for this it's called kin keeping according to Professor Caroline Rosenthal at McMaster University in Canada a kin keeper is someone who cultivates a sense of family solidarity or connectedness it's someone who in many ways is the family glue women perform so many kin keeping tasks and here's a few

of them and there's actually a lot so it says a lot that I'm saying that there's a few number one is emotional support like remembering Milestones keeping track of birthdays anniversaries and other significant dates to make you celebrate them or that people celebrate them for you okay like how many women have to remind their partners of their anniversary of their birthday like how many women get last minute below bare mineral effort gifts okay it's the thought that count gifts like you're lucky I even got you anything gifts okay and on top of all of that

offering emotional support to family members during stressful or challenging times acting as a mediator in family disputes making sure family members reconcile and talk to each other and mind you that this isn't just for the wife and the husband's immediate family like you know wife husband and kids is also for her side of the family and his side of the family okay like why is it normalized for women to also mind the Man's family on top of their immediate family on top of her own side of the family okay and number two is social coordination

and this looks like organizing the holidays reunions and other family events calling people texting people emailing them cool articles you found that they would find interesting or funny updating other family members about achievements or Milestones that other family members accomplished like it's a lot okay and I know plenty of men who do this as well and they're so good at it like so much better than me but it's so sad that they're a minority and I fully believe that it's because the parents they don't require the same kin keeping behavior from their boys that they

do from their girls so a lot of women have to deal with generations of men who consider themselves family men with Traditional Values with family values yet they don't know the basic skills of kin keeping like is the family values in the room with us and number three area is caregiving tasks like feeding bathing and helping with homework coordinating care for aging parents or relatives and once again not just for your side but also for his side and sometimes it's not just even coordinating the care it's also doing the care okay managing medical appointments and

taking them to actual appointments and the last area is logistical management like managing the family calendar to make sure that everyone shows up to their appointments and activities shopping and wrapping gifts or family members finding the perfect gift for every single person women do all of that and their husband boyfriend whatever only has to get them one person the perfect gift a meaningful gift a thoughtful gift and yet they still fail okay like oh it's the thought that counts but there wasn't even a single solitary thought put into the gifts like the thought is not

even in the room with us like and year after year after year of this disappointment it just wears so many women down okay they convinced themselves that oh well at least he's a good father to the children but is he though if you didn't manufacture conditions to make him look like a good father is he still a good father though if you didn't write Mom and Dad on the gift that only you ideated found shopped for and wrapped and put under the tree and presented to the child during the holidays that you planned and decorated

for and cooked for and labored for you executed everything only for him to show up empty-handed not helping out cuz he was raised in a barn was it really from mom and dad though if you have to manufacture everything to make him look like a good father is he really a good father though when you stop K keeping for him so that he can maintain his friendships his family relationships his relationships to his own children is he still a good family member a good friend a good father though Q the well he paid for it

that counts like wow the bare minimum okay and a lot of the times like I said the women pay for it too okay like shut up like the standards are literally on the floor Subterranean Hades adjacent like the standards are in hell no wonder you're living like you're there too annoying and all of these things that women do like the kin keeping Behavior while essential to the emotional and social fabric of families of society they're often undervalued and seen just as natural extensions of women's roles rather than the labor that deserve number one recognition and

number two shared responsibility and number three compensation okay and I get that it makes sense to have women do what they're best at because a lot of us have been socialized to be good at these things because it makes the process easier and more efficient like I get it I get it why we tend to do these things like I am so good at these things like I love doing it too but why do we have to be good at everything and why are the men good at nothing like tell me why are women picking

men who are good at nothing tell me why weaponized incompetence or incompetence period is still not an ick okay like if a man doesn't have basic adult survival skills like that is a child you are robbing the cradle ma'am like bye like incompetence is such an ick and it doesn't matter if they're not weaponizing it or whatever but a lot of them do just the plain fact that you're incompetent like and the audacity to think that you can access a woman when you're plain incompetent like that anyway the first study on K keeping was conducted

in 1996 and it revealed that 85% of K Keepers were women mostly mothers aunts and grandmothers between the ages of 40 to 59 and as they aged this role was passed down to younger family members and to this day researchers say that K keepers are still mostly women more than that sociology and psychology researchers believe that the definition of k keeping has expanded and though it used to be mostly about sharing family news and planning it's evolved in recent decades to include all sorts of emotional labor and the concept of emotional labor was originally coined

by sociologist Arley hos child in the context of the workplace but evidently it applies to the home as well and in the context of the holidays emotional labor can look like making sure that conservative Aunt Sally is not seated next to cousin Frank who's studying at Berkeley and if you're not aware of the context like if you go to Berkeley a lot of the times you're very liberal which is the opposite of conservative politically getting all of the invitations out within a matter of minutes so that no one feels that they were invited last and

doing so without using social media or texting because that would be tacky and providing children with activities and entertainment that are neither boring nor over stimulating and unlike prepping Thanksgiving dinner or decorating the house for the holid holidays K keeping is so much more invisible like at least women can be complimented or thanked for a delicious meal but no one usually notices the seating chart the invitation timing like all the little stuff that women have dialed in and made a system of and all of this was done to make sure that everyone feels warm and

welcomed and invited like no one really sees a lot of these things except other women and according to psychiatric nurse practitioner Susan nagu came keeping poses emotional and mental health risks on women she tells the flow space being a primary kke keeper can be emotionally and mentally tasking it may constrain personal Pursuits and commitments to other significant Endeavors making it an overwhelming role besides the role encompasses catering to the needs and expectations of diverse family members and failure to fulfill them may result in feelings of guilt and stress however Dr shlie Jane of Psychology today

suggests that K keeping is worth preserving she writes in her article titled the almost lost art of can keeping makes families happy family members play a huge role in keeping people healthy either via their role as healthcare advocates or as caregivers if K keeping becomes extinct it may mean poorer Health Care outcomes for individuals and more strained on Health Care Systems that are already at capacity and this just shows how important women's kin keeping behavior is and how crucial it is not just for their families but also for society in general like women are literally

the glue that holds these units together and I'm not saying that that K keeping is bad and women should stop kin keeping but we should also hold the men around us to be responsible for the kin keeping Behavior as well okay like the goal of this video isn't to make you feel like you're wrong or it's bad for you to enjoy the holidays to enjoy planning it and putting it together for the people around you because that would be a no no on selly take okay because making women feel guilty for something that they enjoy

like okay I get it I get it like people were like oh well why do you feel like you should do this like why do you feel good when you're doing this it's because you've been programmed so you should just stop doing it like I hate that like I hate seeing that online like okay because at the end of the day like we do enjoy these things like I love the holidays like I love planning for the holidays but I also know that like I'm not going to be putting in the most when everyone else

is doing the least okay like I'm matching the energy and I'm not going to be surrounding myself with people who think that trying is not cool okay like when did it become cool to not try Okay the nonchalant people may they never find me okay and may they never find the SP girlies like no we're going to put in the most to make the people around us happy to make the people around us like feel warm and welcomed and invited and really feel like the holiday Vibe okay and if you're not like celebrating these holidays

obviously like within your culture there's going to be like things that you celebrate as well so like okay fit the context so I'm never going to tell women like oh well you should just stop doing everything like blah blah blah no like hold the people accountable around you okay like if you're putting in the most they need to be putting in the most as well and if they don't want to put in as much as you're putting in like like it's time to rethink the people that you surround yourself with okay and honestly people respond

to incentives and people respond to boundaries when you actually go through with them okay maybe you need to dial down the holidays this year or next year if people haven't been putting in the effort if people haven't been showing up because let me tell you this okay a lot of people say that oh the holidays are just so overrated and blah blah blah blah but like if you have ever spent the holidays alone you will never take the holidays for granted again okay so all these people who are so notal lot about the holidays y'all

are so privileged the people who are notal lot about the holidays they take for granted the holidays that everyone else has created for them and once you have celebrated the holidays alone with no celebration with nothing you're never going to take it for granted again so one mindset shift that we all need to make right now is that the holidays are a group project it's not everyone mooching off of your labor okay it's not about you coming last like you have been a servant to everyone else all year like why can't they be a servant

to you back okay and another tip would be to practice radical delegation so as women we have been primed to carry the weight of the holiday planning because we think that like if we don't do it then no one will okay that could be true then it's not going to get done if you have all these things that you're already doing like why can't you delegate it to other people like why can't you delegate the other tasks to other people okay and this isn't just my personal crusade to make you care about the holidays okay

because apparently the importance of the holiday season has anthropological and sociological basis because the holiday days play a role in fostering social cohesion reinforcing cultural identity and addressing human psychological and emotional needs so from an anthropological view holidays are often anchored in ritualistic practices that serve to unify groups and these rituals they could be religious spiritual cultural or secular but these rituals they act as a shared language through which the communities Express their values and identity Victor Turner a cultural Anthropologist emphasized that rituals Foster communitas a sense of shared belonging and equality during Collective activities

transcending everyday hierarchies and divisions and from a sociological view Emil durkheim a sociologist highlighted that Collective rituals during the holiday strengthen the collective conscience the shared norms and beliefs that bind societies and through Gatherings meals and shared practices the holiday season reinforces interpersonal connections creating a temporary reprieve from individualism and isolation and like why do we even exchange gifts during the season drawing from Marcel Mouse's theory in the gift gift giving during the holiday season is more than an economic exchange it is a means of establishing and maintaining social relationships gifts symbolize trust solidarity and

obligation which strengthen Community ties and also the act of giving gifts during the holiday season they reflect societal values of generosity and altruism and encourages individuals to focus on communal wellbeing rather than their personal gain and because we are all social beings the holidays also promote connection and belonging in short everyone else gets all these benefits whenever you create the holiday season for them okay you create all this magic for everyone and they get all these benefits okay and yet they can't even see you appreciate you thank you okay we're not doing that anymore okay

let this be the last holiday season where we see women crying on camera because no one got them anything because no one thought about them during the holiday season but then they thought about everything and everyone else it is high time that we show gratitude for women and the Unseen and unpaid work that they do to make the holiday special for everyone like thank your mom for all the long hours that she's dedicating to hosting planning the meals actually cooking the meals thank your sister your cousin your girlfriend yourself okay thank her for making the

home feel so warm and cozy and viby thank her for everything that she does to make the holiday special and if you can take it a step further and I hope you do take it a step further think about how you can turn this gratitude into action think about how you can share the load and encourage other family members other men to step in and be active participants in something that they're already actively taking in think about how you can share the load with these women and how you can encourage everyone else to join in

okay because if the holidays are all about togetherness then why is it that one person or just a few people have to put it together for everyone else okay we do everything together we celebrate and we create together like that's literally the joy of Celebration because you're celebrating to together okay speaking of the joy of Celebration I wanted to take this moment to say thank you to all the spoiled girlies who show up every single class I appreciate you and this wouldn't be possible without you this has been such a journey and such a dream

and it's been way beyond my imagination so I want to say thank you from the bottom of my spoiled girly heart like I really appreciate you I am so thankful for you that's all I have for you today I just want to let you know that you have so much inherent worth and value in a world that is held bent on devaluing you now get that bag bestie also bestie wake up [Music]