I Livestreamed My Cheating Fiancée On Facebook, And That’s When The Nightmare Began. Reddit Cheating

I live streamed my cheating fiance on Facebook and that's when the nightmare began I can hardly believe I'm in this situation I'm not sure where to begin my fiance and I have been together for 5 years I'm in my early 40 and she's in her early 30 we're scheduled to get married this Summer Our Love Remains as strong as it was in the first few months of our relationship we initially met at work where we were colleagues in Different departments our solid and respectful friendship eventually blossomed into something more throughout our time together we've been

genuinely happy our bed life is satisfying we have no Financial worries and we share trust respect open communication and common interests we have a lot of fun together and there's no mistrust or insecurity when we pursue our individual interests one thing I must confess is that when we first met at work she was engaged to Someone else while I never engaged in any Unfaithful behavior I'm not that kind of person I have to admit there were moments when I felt she flirted with me inappropriately fast forward to this past September with Co more under control

in our area we hosted a small dinner party for three other couples on a Saturday night my fiance who enjoys hosting such events insisted on assigning seating at the table for Everyone she sat between one of her close female friends and the friend's husband whom I'll call Bob during the meal as I moved between the kitchen and the dining area while everyone chatted happily and enjoyed some drinks I caught what seemed like an odd sight when I glanced back at my fiance and Bob it appeared as if they were holding hands under the table I

looked away rubbed my eyes and when I looked back they were not doing that anymore but it was one of Those moments when it's like discovering a break-in at your house you return home and your eyes register the chaos but your brain takes a moment or even minutes to process it all in fact part of your brain tries to convince you that this isn't what it looks like or you did this but you forgot you left the place like this it was a similar feeling consequently I started to become more watchful of her and felt

less secure in our relationship fast forward to November and I began to notice something some nights when we were both exhausted we like to unwind in front of the TV each with our laptops or phones she's active on Facebook with many friends so she spends a lot of time there during our relaxation sessions however starting in November and continuing to the present day I noticed that she positioned herself just subtly enough so that I couldn't see her screen it was a subtle change but I don't think I was Imagining it as we used to be

able to see each other's screens when sitting on the couch together before this I considered inviting Bob and his wife to our planned January vacation however I dislike Bob and a lingering feeling of unease made me hesitant but since I couldn't provide solid reasons for excluding them my fiance grew frustrated with me in any case due to circumstances like Co we ended up having to cancel the holiday after reading many threads here I realize I'm fortunate in some ways because we're not married have no kids and I lack concrete evidence of anything going on however

my intuition is on high alert though not not at a critical level yet I'm starting to feel ashamed of how much this emerging obsession is affecting my life here's where I need input should I consider taking steps to essentially spy on her this could involve hiring a private investigator using a voice activated recorder in her Car or which I see as a major violation of boundaries attempting to access her various devices I'll conclude this as I began it I can't believe I'm in this situation update before I clarify further it's essential to mention that I

registered here about a month ago I wrote my initial post some time before that as it felt good to get my thoughts out at the time however a significant change has occurred between then and now particularly in our bed life the Frequency of our closeness has subtly decreased which isn't inherently problematic as relationships have their ups and downs what stood out was an incident about a week ago that prompted me to return here and gather the courage to post after we just had closeness I suddenly realized that my fiance had approached our bed life differently

than you usual not just on that occasion but perhaps the previous two or three times as well so without much forethought I Commented hey there's something different about the way you've been close with me what struck me as odd was a she appeared startled B she denied it initially but then C the next day she said I think you're imagining it and besides it's okay to change things up in that department once in a while don't you think what's frustrating is that if I hadn't noticed the possible handholding incident I probably wouldn't have been bothered

or suspicious by Subsequent Clues answers and questions I'd prefer to gather evidence rather than confront the issue confrontation without solid proof isn't my style it's not entirely that I don't trust her but my gut is telling me to be very concerned my intuition is rarely wrong editing where should I position the voice activated recorder your point about the short-term cost of hiring a private investigator versus the potential expenses of a messy divorce Makes sense additionally I earn twice as much as she does unfortunately I wouldn't have any luck contacting her previous fiance because he unfairly

placed more blame on me than her for their breakup that's entirely inaccurate but he wouldn't be a trustworthy or reliable source thankfully we're renters for now but we plan to purchase our own property by Christmas of this year real estate in our city is outrageously expensive so we've been taking it slow While we currently live together it's a situation that could be easily terminated and we no longer work at the same place yes sadly she's had her phone glued to her for months now I honestly can't recall the last time I saw it lying around

this detail troubles me deeply as does my blindness to what it might signify editing part two I should mention that I've started the investigative process in several ways Additionally I have a business trip out of town scheduled for the weekend after Easter providing a natural opportunity to observe her actions in my absence quick update I've hired a private investigator and they begin their work tomorrow I've realized that I can't wait for 2 and 1/2 weeks to ease my conscience so last night I had a heart-to- heart with my oldest and closest friend he's now aware

of what I'm going through and I'm flying out to His city tomorrow evening for an extended weekend there I've informed my fiance about the trip and her emotional response seemed oddly mixed regardless if something is a miss it may become apparent during this opportunity at this point I've decided against using a voice activated recorder with the wedding set for September we haven't invested a significant amount of money in it yet and what we have spent can likely be recovered for example refundable Deposits in other words this won't turn into a messy legal or financial situation

if she's cheating I'll quietly exit the relationship without causing a scene the potential trauma of discovering her infidelity is already overwhelming and I don't need to hear her exchanging sweet nothings with another man furthermore as some of you have gently suggested this situation has altered my perception of her and it has shed light on potentially larger issues In the relationship even without infidelity update I just met with the private investigator she's indeed cheating on me with the individual I mentioned I'm in shock and utterly devastated on Friday night he stayed overnight at our place with

her and didn't leave until the next morning on Saturday night for some reason they stayed in a hotel until the following morning the private investigator has provided timestamped photographic Evidence I'm too numb to write any further update it's been quite a day a good friend who knew about my situation provided tremendous support and was prepared when I shared the UN fortunate news with him I was on autopilot at work but later in the afternoon I managed to take some time off in the afternoon my friend went to Bob's wife's house the other betrayed spouse I

apologize for my slow understanding of the acronyms here he rang the doorbell and personally Handed her the photos of my fiance and Bob these photos are timestamped and explicit leaving no doubt about what was happening perhaps the most troubling one is from the hotel where they were kissing at dinner and then the next morning sharing a kiss goodbye in the parking lot it's baffling how Brazen they were they weren't even in another city however the worst one is the first photo from Friday night when Bob arrived at my place since We live in a duplex

she had to open the front door to let him in the photo captures the pure joyous excitement in her eyes a moment I'll never forget for as long as I live about an hour later my friend went to my place after delivering the photos to the other betrayed spouse he handed my fiance a package I prepared for her inside were the photos and a simple note from me I expressed that my future Good Will toward her not in person but in my mind would depend on Her willingness to come clean about the whole truth I

informed her that our relationship was over and I never want to see her again let alone think about marriage I gave her until Thursday afternoon to move out of our place which I entirely cover financially and I requested that she leave her engagement ring in a clearly visible spot not even 5 minutes before my friend dropped off the package with my fiance I missed two calls from her she followed up with Several nervous texts asking my whereabouts why I wasn't answering and why I wasn't at work I can only guess that Bob had called her

in a panic perhaps thinking someone was on to him and they could get away with it after receiving my package about half an hour later Moore missed calls and texts from her asking me to call her then came a text saying it's not what it looks like unbelievable just before I started typing this I received two very Emotional voicemails from her the first one was nearly unintelligible as she screamed and cried and in the second she admitted that she couldn't deny the photo's reality but claimed it was the first and only time they had ever

done anything she suggested that Bob took advantage of her when they got too drunk on Friday and one thing led to another I then told a lie which is unusual for me but I texted only one thing in response I saw you two holding hands under the Table at our dinner party in September the same private detective has been Gathering evidence for months now I only asked for the photos from this weekend to make it undeniable we are finished however if you want this to end as amicably as possible you must do the right thing

and a stop lying B stop taking me for a fool and C tell the whole truth I don't actually care what you have to say but if you don't come clean to me and thus to yourself about Why you did this I guarantee you will continue to repeat this destructive cycle for the rest of your life I haven't received any response at all I want to express my gratitude for the advice from people here even those suggesting a more drastic approach like sharing this with her family however that's not my style I know myself well

this situation is and will be profoundly traumatic for me to survive I must stay true to who I am while I appreciate Stories of people seeking revenge for infidelity planning and executing such things is not in my nature my strength will come from not having an in-person conversation with her about this permanently ending our engagement refusing to entertain the possibility of reconciliation and asking her to vacate our shared space lastly I have to admit a petty thought despite my efforts to remain composed and dignified while writing this although Bob is younger Than me somewhere between

her age and M he is less intelligent less emotionally sensitive something I thought she valued and the ironic part is that I'm objectively much better looking than him I know it sounds superficial but it's true I've often been compared to a well-known British movie star in romantic comedies this guy while more muscular looks like a bulldog I just can't comprehend it he and his wife also have two young kids so there's that too I apologize for not fully addressing various questions some of you have asked this past week but I feel like I've been navigating

from one nightmare to the next at least now I have the peace of mind that I'm not losing my sanity I have a therapy session booked for next Tuesday the earliest available and I'm staying with my friend fortunately he's single so I'm not inconveniencing a family I'm also sorry for the scattered nature of this message but it reflects The state of my mind update as expected the past day and a half have been incredibly tough on Monday night my now ex-girlfriend figured out where I was staying came over and insisted that my friend let her

in he didn't allow her in and in fact he had to physically stop her from entering this led to a barrage of texts and tearful voicemails where she expressed a desire for a second chance and claimed that the past weekend was the only time They had a physical affair she admitted that it had been an emotional affair since last July 2020 I chose not to respond to any of her messages so after a day of attempting to shower me with affection from Monday afternoon to Tuesday afternoon her texts turned nastier last night she asserted that

my attempts to break up her relationship with Bob and the other betrayed spouse were ineffective and would fail because the other betrayed spouse understands The value of forgiveness I find it rather astonishing that she a believes she has insight into the other betrayed spouse's mindset and B that the other betrayed spouse has already granted such Swift forgiveness finally I broke my silence and asked her a simple question why after some hesitation she essentially conveyed that because I'm a perfectionist she stopped feeling like she could freely Express herself with me early in our relationship around the

2-year Mark she claimed that Bob makes her feel secure and protected and that they can discuss anything when I pressed her for details on how I hindered open communication she could only recall minor arguments from the early stages of our relationship which a I believed we had resolved and B weren't solely related to my perfectionism despite everything she wants us to try again and insists that she's willing to do whatever it takes she has asked me not To confide in anyone such as my family or friends about this because she believes we can fix it

I however don't believe her at all at this point I feel completely drained of emotions and utterly exhausted I haven't had a proper night sleep since Sunday so I might consider taking some sleeping pills tonight on a final note apologies for the disorganization my self-esteem has taken a severe blow my emotional and spiritual image of my ex-girlfriend has Been shattered making any future with her impossible trust has been irreparably damaged while I do have some sense of relief that I've avoided a life with someone of such low Integrity I can't help but dwell on physical

aspects I'm plagued by humiliating questions did I not satisfy her enough during our intimate moments was my physical appearance not to her liking did she desire a different body type although I Have no knowledge of their actions the mere thought is incredibly distressing update the past week has been absolutely unbelievable it's as if it flew by in the blink of an eye yet it felt like an eternity Wednesday night was a mess my fiance called me and adamantly declared that she would not move out under any circumstances I responded by telling her that she had

to or else I would share the incriminating photos with her family harsh words were exchanged between us And I had a sleepless night Thursday morning I received the sweetest text from her full of apologies for the previous night's altercation she promised to pack her belongings and spend the weekend at a friend's place pleading with me not to disclose anything to anyone she believed we could mend things and make them right I questioned why I shouldn't reveal the real reason our wedding was off and she insisted it would ruin any chance of Reconciliation I returned to

my place on Thursday night and it was incredibly difficult to be there I mentioned before how it felt like a Breakin but with a twisted twist where you know your house has been invaded yet your eyes fail to provide concrete evidence most of her belongings were gone but she had left behind the engagement ring something compelled me to reach out to my fiance's ex-boyfriend the one she cheated on with me I found him easily on Facebook and Sent him a message letting him know I had something important to discuss and asking him to call me

to my surprise he called within 45 minutes our conversation was brief but impactful I learned a crucial piece of information their engagement had ended because of her repeated infidelity he had an event to attend that night but invited me to have dinner with him the following evening as I drove the three plus hours to his town the next day I finally had The chance to reflect on the incredible 100 hours or so in my life the Revelation that my wayward fiance had cheated on the previous man filled me with a whirlwind of emotions anger relief

sadness confusion embarrassment and many more about an hour away from his place I mustered the courage to pull over at a picturesque rest stop I dialed the number of the other betrayed spouse not expecting her to answer to my surprise she did there were lengthy Tearful silences on her end she revealed that her husband had cheated on her before their wedding and when she was 6 months pregnant with their second child they had worked through their issues and as far as she knew everything was better disturbingly despite her husband's multiple infidelities she framed my wayward

fiance as the aggressor and her husband as the victim of a predatory woman what shocked me even more was her statement that many people knew about my Fiance's infidelity with her ex- fiance but it kept it from me to spare my feelings finally when I inquired about her plans she revealed that he was willing to do whatever it takes to mend things with my wayward fiance including Counseling in full transparency for these reasons and more she decided to with him the most important detail she casually mentioned at the end of our conversation was her eagerness

to start over with him after Easter weekend as he Had an unexpected business trip over the weekend leaving on Friday and returning yesterday Monday with the fog of deception from my wayward fiance finally clearing my senses were on high alert and I immediately contacted my excellent private detective to inform him of this development after the initial exposure of the affair he had advised me to retain his Services a little longer because it's common for exposed individuals like Bob to continue their Affairs but become more cautious about concealing them consequently I authorized further investigative work on

his part I met with my wayward fiance's ex and we went to a steakhouse the first 30 minutes were incredibly challenging with two men who had both been betrayed by the same woman each grappling with a whirlwind of emotions however the conversation gradually improved he shared details about my wayward fiance's numerous infidelities that he knew of During their relationship and his deep regret for repeatedly taking her back strangely what convinced him to reconcile with her was her comparing him favorably to her other partners saying how could I be so foolish to be with an inferior

man when I have you I could sense the mix of emotions within him upon learning about my situation part of him felt anger and sorrow on my behalf but another part on a more Primal level seemed relieved that his worst Suspicions about her had been confirmed I understood this complex response and didn't interpret it as deriving pleasure from my suffering but rather as finding closure that it wasn't about him or his shortcomings in their relationship understanding this partially thanks to this incredible Community was also liberating for me as much as Friday turned out well Saturday

was Dreadful I woke up to a venomous message on my private Facebook group Dedicated to the now cancelled wedding consisting of the groomsmen bridesmaids and our two main families to simplify my wayward fiance posted a message stating that unfortunately the weddding was off she added that despite our efforts to address the emotional strain in the last few years of our relationship I couldn't overcome my negative patterns insinuating that I might try to spin the situation differently I was utterly shocked although in hindsight I can't Say was entirely unexpected many people here had cautioned me about

this possibility I won't delve into my emotions on that day I did nothing I would later regret in fact I maintained complete silence not communicating with her or the group of course my own family is aware of the situation ation however I can't help but wonder why she had a change of heart after her Thursday morning texts expressing a desire to reconcile with me was the Allure of Being with her bob so irresistibly intoxicating her actions truly puzzle me you would think she'd want to keep me around while enjoying the secret excitement of her affair

she must genuinely despise me if she could write a note like that fully aware that I'll likely never speak to her again it's both disgusting and astonishing to make matters better if that's even the right word I later found out that my wayward fiance and Bob had Checked into a luxurious Spa about 90 minutes outside of town that Friday night more photos more evidence they dined at a lovely restaurant in the spa resort making it rather easy to capture numerous pictures of a couple deeply in love seated beside each other at this romantic getaway I'm

running out of energy for this update so I'll try to wrap it up as succinctly as possible by yesterday afternoon armed with photographic proof from two Affair Filled weekends I selected the six most compelling photo photos and shared them with our Facebook wedding group I apologized for the delay in responding to my wayward fiance's deceitful Saturday message explaining that I had been visiting her ex- fiance and was disappointed though not surprised to discover that she had engaged in similar behavior before I asked the group to genuinely reflect on whether any part of me had ever

appeared even remotely Offensive emotionally I also inquired whether my wayward fiance had ever mentioned to any of them before the affair was exposed that I was emotionally offensive I felt that honest answers to these questions in addition to the damning photos would reveal the truth I've received several supportive messages from most members of the group with the ones from the Bridesmaids providing an extra boost of encouragement her father has invited me For coffee this week he holds me in high regard however I'm not entirely sure I want to meet him despite our close relationship lastly

as liberating as it has been to break free from this tumultuous relationship that lasted 5 years most of me is shattered beyond belief I not only question my supposed ability to observe and understand someone I lived with for 5 years but I'm also deeply concerned about the profound damage this experience will inevitably Inflict on all my future relationships yes I am free but I will never fully trust again update I want to address something that many people have inquired about but I haven't mentioned yet she is an exceptionally beautiful woman often compared to Blake Lively

in terms of her looks I hope it's okay to use celebrity names here if not I apologize and will edit it I want to clarify that I'm not mentioning this because I want her back I'm simply highlighting that throughout Her life she has always turned heads wherever she goes her ex mentioned on Friday night that part of the reason he kept taking her back was because he felt he would do anything to keep such a stunning woman in his life since discovering her infidelity my attitude has certainly changed however it's possible that my biggest struggle

right now my complete and utter blindness to what was happening stemmed from believing that the woman Inside mirrored The beauty on the surface I didn't hire a private investigator to gather more proof because the initial photos told me everything I needed to know what left me in disbelief was the fact that after all that both she and he could within days continue their Affairs so openly as if D-Day meant nothing part of me had thought that the private investigator might find nothing this past weekend those photos shattered any lingering hope that this could be overcome

I Appreciate the harsh reality check provided by the additional evidence I wanted to give her the opportunity to confess to her family and our wedding party on her own terms some of our discussions last week indicated that she might take that option my basic threat of saying if you don't tell the truth about why the wedding is off I will have to be the one to do it was not some kind of game update I'm currently out of town on a business trip and now that I'm Alone in my hotel room it feels like the

first time in a while that I can breathe and reflect on Wednesday I contacted the other betrayed spouse and requested a meeting with her she said she understood why I wanted to meet and that she didn't want to endure more pain she's a close friend of one of the Bridesmaids who informed her about my Facebook post I expressed my concern to her about how her husband was continually causing her harm and told her that meeting with me And seeing the photos from the second Affair weekend might unexpectedly Empower her in the long run she disagreed

my wayward fiance has been reaching out through texts calls and even emails ever since I posted about her second weekend of infidelity on Facebook it's been 10 days and during this time I haven't directly responded to her at all her tone in the messages has shifted from anger and spite on the day of the Facebook post to sadness and Despair in the middle of the week recently She's been begging pleading negotiating and making promises in her attempts to reach out I discovered a handwritten letter from her in my mailbox explaining why she believes she deserves

another chance and outlining a plan to make amends for everything I believe it was the right decision to reveal the true reasons for canceling our wedding to our friends and family not only did it immediately refute her False claims of me being an offensive person person but it was also the least severe consequence of her not choosing the path of honesty to explain why our relationship ended I've talked to the groomsmen and two of the Bridesmaids and it's evident that they swiftly supported me and turned against her for her infidelity and her audacity in suggesting

that I was offensive part of me is superficially concerned that her sudden change of heart and desire to Reconcile may be influenced by the community's response to her actions I worry that if there had been less condemnation from our group and if a few had believed her lie she might not be so quick to beg for my forgiveness however I can't dwell on that I know it might disappoint some of you but I agreed to meet with her father on Thursday we met for afternoon drinks at his golf club and our conversation was long difficult

and intricate her father holds a Prominent position in our city and is a highly influential individual I need to be cautious with what I share beyond that he confided in me that he had two significant Affairs when my wayward fiance was younger something she never disclosed to me he feels responsible for her infidelity toward me explaining that she has always looked up to him he admitted that he didn't do a good job of explaining to his daughter when both Affairs were exposed why his actions Were so wrong and how they might have harmed her mother

the children and the extended family he told me that my wayward fiance has never loved another man as deeply as she has loved me and this is the first time someone has held her accountable for her poor Behavior he suggested that I possess significant power in this situation and have an opportunity akin to a god to Grant his daughter forgiveness and Redemption he believed that my ability to forgive her And rebuild our relationship would not only demonstrate greatness but also ensure her unwavering loyalty to me for life I must admit that there was a certain

allure in the ideas surrounding those words however he made a mistake when he mentioned that due to his influence and reputation he could open doors for me through certain means I could see how his name could indeed enable such actions yet when he proposed this to me I lost my composure in a Split second I realized that there was little difference between his belief that his name and power could absolve any wrongdoing and my wayward fiance's belief that her physical Beauty could excuse her numerous infidelities thanks to the insights I've gained from this thread I

found the words to respond I don't think you understand it will take years for your daughter to reenter my life in any capacity I explained for me to consider being with her again I would Need to see genuine understanding empathy self-awareness and sincere remorse I also noted her journey toward that will be long as she has engaged in this behavior for years and her damage runs deep to his credit he respected my stance and asked for more time on Friday morning a few hours before I was scheduled to go to the airport the other betrayed

spouse called and with a trembling voice requested to meet for coffee I agreed to meet out of respect And dignity I won't divulge the details of the painful 40 minutes we spent together however witnessing the second set of photos was a harrowing experience for her and it was difficult for her to process by the end of our conversation though she seemed to be making some progress in coming to terms with the reality of her husband's actions with one of her own friends no less I believe she has started her own slow and challenging journey toward

healing I Briefly considered directing her to this thread but I ultimately decided to keep this private not wanting to complicate an already complex and sensitive situation further finally yesterday just before dinner I received a lengthy email from from my wayward fiance's mother she showed empathy for how I might be feeling but went on to share that her daughter had confessed all the details of her Affair to her she mentioned that her daughter was utterly broken and she Requested that I to some extent take time to consider giving her another chance it felt as though my

pain and emotions and all of this were relegated to a mere afterthought update I got back home yesterday evening and true to her word my wayward fiance had left a handwritten letter in my mailbox initially I resisted the temptation to open it and even went to bed undecided about whether I should read it at all however sleep eluded me and I eventually Gave in opening the letter my intention was to sleep on it gather my thoughts and then share a summary of the letter here so here I am today she began with a straightforward apology

expressing her deep regret for the pain she has caused me next she mentioned that she and her Bob have decided to end their relationship for good she then delved into explicit and almost clinical detail about how I had been her best lover offering comparisons to Bob and her Previous Partners while I no longer care about this aspect I'll give her credit for the level of detail she provided which was both unusual and somewhat touching she proceeded to lay out a timeline of how things unfolded a few weeks before the September dinner party where I suspected

they were holding hands under the table Bob called her to discuss his marital issues with his wife who happened to be my wayward fiance's friend apparently he sought her insights They met for coffee one workday morning roughly 7 to 8 days before the dinner party which led to a week of texting between them on the morning of our dinner party while pretending to be on an extended shopping trip they met in a park there he confessed his deep infatuation for her she admitted to feeling ashamed for falling for his words but his primary argument was

that if she felt even a fraction of what he did for her she should scratch that itch Before committing to marriage she claimed she firmly declined his proposition but during the dinner party that same evening he played footsies with her under the table she regarded it as unlucky that I happened to glance back just as he made physical contact with her she mentioned he initiated this as well their first kiss happened in late October incredibly while she was visiting an affair partner and the other betrayed spouse's home for drinks and Dinner during a weekend when

I was away the other betrayed spouse had gone to put their children to bed after dinner and during this time he passionately kissed my wayward fiance while his wife was out of the room she acknowledged it was wrong but found it thrilling throughout November he apparently pressured her heavily to get me to agree to have him and the other betay trade spouse join us on our January vacation a significant portion of their text Messages in November and December revolved around various scenarios he divise for them to engage in an illicit affair right under our noses

she provided vague details about when their Affair began mentioning it started in early February they insisted on meeting in my house as often as they could manage she claimed that his ultimate thrill was to humiliate me surprisingly her main argument was as follows she acknowledged that infidelity might run In her family or be in her DNA a but she claimed she was completely willing to leave all of that behind because I am the perfect man her Twisted logic was that by having this affair she could cleanse herself of her demons and prepare for a committed

life with me she also mentioned that one of the main attractions of the affair was her strange aversion to this man the very one who made her feel safe and secure combined with his desire to humiliate me She believed her self-disgust for choosing him would finally help her overcome Her Last Temptation to cheat additionally she stated that she she would be living with her parents indefinitely she expressed her intention to undergo therapy for the first time in her life she promised to write me a monthly letter to update me on her progress she claimed she

wanted to win me back but only on my terms she admitted that my decision to cut her off The way I did made her realize how much she truly loves and wants me and she was devastated by her actions regarding her previous comments about emotional offense she sort of apologized particularly for their public nature but she didn't completely retract her statements instead she recalibrated her remarks to suggest that I hold myself and others to too high a moral standard which she finds suffocating she acknowledged her admiration for my Integrity but argued that it's impossible to

live up to the perfectionist ideals I hold for myself and others she suggest that I reflect on this last comment honestly after reading all of this I'm too emotionally exhausted to express how I feel I don't even know which emotions are left or available to me at this point I'll never be able to see her in the same way again perhaps too demanding in my standards and maybe I need to be more forgiving When it comes to my own flaws and those of others but there are aspects that still pull me toward her rest assured

I will continue to maintain no contact with her the other betrayed spouse has reached out to me requesting another coffee meeting this Thursday because our previous coffee chat apparently helped update the community's analysis of my wayward fiance's letter provided the necessary wake-up call for me to read her words with the Insight needed to see Through all the nonsense manipulations and evasion my challenge was to retrieve the engagement ring while still maintaining my no contact stance with my wayward fiance so late on Tuesday night I sent an email to my wayward fiance's father expressing my appreciation

for his daughter's letter but explaining that by not returning the ring she wasn't respecting the boundaries I had set he responded early the next morning Agreeing with me and suggesting we meet for lunch at an exclusive restaurant what a family indeed during the first half of our lunch we talked about everything but the underlying ISS at hand it was like skirting around a 700 ton Iceberg beneath the surface of the conversation eventually though he produced the ring and returned it to me but not without some theatrics he continued to blame himself for his daughter's problems

and mentioned her Mental health being under great threat due to the shock of being denied something she wants which apparently is me for the first time in her life however things took a sour turn between us when near the end of the meal I leaned back in my chair observed him carefully for about 10 to 15 seconds making him quite uncomfortable and then said you know let me tell you something by the time I was 13 and it's possible I was even younger my mother instilled in Me a powerful Mantra take responsibility for your actions

when I was younger I was skilled at finding ways to shift blame for my wrongdoings onto others or other excuses my mother taught me before I was even in high school that is liberating to own up to our mistakes it's empowering he appeared torn between anger and embarrassment and a lengthy silence hung between us I gently slid a photocopy of of his daughter's letter across the table saying I'm sure you Haven't read this it was evident that there was no way he had read the letter in its entirety he crumpled it up and pushed it

back across the table to me then in a Sinister tone he said if you can't accept your fiance's truths at face value then you two have no hope of reconciling this unfortunate temporary situation when I looked at him utterly stunned and said nothing he continued it would please me to see you two back together I don't appreciate the way you Spoke to me this afternoon and frankly I thought you had considerably more class than this but I'll attribute it to the grief you're experiencing you need to do the right thing here so I asked and

what is that he just stared at me for about 5 Seconds said nothing walked over to pay the bill at the front and then left so that man could have been my future father-in-law but in reality I had a great coffee meeting with the other betrayed spouse a few hours ago it was Tough because I shared the contents of my wayward fiance's letter with her although I chose not to show it to her for various reasons I'm content with she then proceeded to tell me her husband Bob's version of events which was quite astonishing it

was essentially my wayward fiance's letter but with the blame shifted onto her he portrayed himself as the victim while she was the aggressive offender oh and he mentioned that my wayward fiance Justified it all By claiming I'm emotionally offensive beyond the shock of that it became clear from her timeline that the affair had likely started as early as June 2020 Bob had certainly confessed to certain events from around that time with my wayward fiance Act as the agent of influence and Temptation in each case after we shared our respective Tales from the Crypt something incredible

happened we both began laughing nervously at first then moved to Immature giggling and finally we were in fits of laughter it was a beautiful and cathartic moment honestly it was the most liberating and light-hearted feeling I've experienced in months she later got a bit teary eyed expressing that she didn't know what she was going to do however she recognized that he is just as troubled as my way fiance and she needs to find a way to extricate herself from him somehow so that's where things stand despite the uplifting and Empowering experiences of the past 48

hours or so as I sit here writing this post I suddenly find myself overwhelmed by sadness loneliness and a sense that I may never fully recover from this and may never be able to trust again one thing is certain I won't be taking my wayward fiance back I'm in the process of drafting a final letter to her politely asking her to leave my life forever what a mess and as I've asked before and will continue to ask what was All this for edit the following letter was sent yesterday afternoon I know some of you may

disapprove especially those who have questioned why send a letter at all but I felt it was important to share what I wrote with this community despite the expected negative reactions it feels good to have written and sent it obviously her name is not Blake but Blake this letter is in three parts this is the last time I'll be communicating with you I request that you refrain from Contact acting me in any way from now on I also kindly ask that neither your family nor any friends reach out to me on your behalf in the future

if you or your family disregard this boundary I may have to resort to legal action to protect myself our relationship has been irreparably damaged due to your choices and actions regarding your letter I'm pleased to hear that you're seeking therapy I hope it proves beneficial and that during that process you can achieve A level of self-honesty you've never had before the environment around you has supported and continues to support your behavior so even if you manage to address the significant voids within yourself you'll need to break free from your family's influence I appreciate you returning

the ring I'd like to reminisce about a moment possibly the last time when we were genuinely happy together during the peak of the covid pandemic we escaped to your parents cabin by the Ocean for a memorable long weekend one Friday afternoon we were exploring some high rocks and you ventured dangerously close to the edge risking falling into the sea I pulled you back and cautioned you about the danger later that evening by the fire when we discussed that moment you said risk is good it makes us feel incredibly alive and besides I know you will

always be there to pull me back now I understand that everything about you and your intentions to ruin our Relationship were encapsulated in that one moment while I'm slightly disappointed in myself for not realizing it sooner I'm now thankful that I see you for who you truly are I only hope you can gather the courage to change but I won't be a part of that process update this morning I had breakfast with a maid of honor for the wedding that will never happen she was with my former fiance on Saturday when she received my final

email apparently my ex fiance was Extremely devastated and spent the entire night inconsolable in her room it's hard not to find this amusing as it sounds like the reaction of a 13-year-old who can't have a sleepover with their best friend on a Saturday night more worryingly the maid of honor also informed me that when her father read the note he became Furious and simply said he will pay frankly I'm very concerned about the possibility that he might seek revenge against me I Acknowledge that many of you here have warned about this as well so what

can I do to protect myself from this Potential Threat additionally as a quick note while the maid of honor is a true friend to my former fiance she's also been supportive of me throughout this ordeal toward the end of our breakfast this morning I expressed my gratitude for keeping me updated and asked her why she wanted to help she shared something I wasn't aware of she broke up with her Long-term partner about a year ago because he repeatedly cheated on her what's particularly interesting is that the maid of honor believes that my ex fiance was

initially drawn to her as a friend for the same reason she was attracted to me as a boyfriend we both embody stability reliability and integrity qualities that my ex- fiance seems to lack herself the maid of honor wasn't surprised that my ex- fiance cheated on me as she believes she has a History of doing so although she thought I might be an exception she continues to be a friend to my ex fiance but also empath sympathizes with me and believes I've done the right thing now on to some concerns about the other betrayed spouse until

Thursday we had been exchanging light texts every day offering support and encouragement however I haven't heard from her since we met which is understandable considering we're both dealing with our grief in addition to Not hearing from her the maid of honor mentioned that the other betrayed spouse has been sending numerous angry and hurtful messages to my ex-fiance via text phone calls and emails over the past few days this raises a concern and question for everyone here concern I worry that the other betrayed spouse's anger toward my ex- fiance might be influenced by Bob's negative influence

and she might be inclined to place blame solely on Bob rather than the Wayward Spouse I'm concerned about her well-being this leads to the question what should my boundaries be in this situation I feel that as you all have supported Me Gently I should do the same for the other betrayed spouse however I believe that I can guide but not insist just as you can lead a horse to water I wonder how persistent I should be in offering support many of you have suggested being there for her and I have tried to do that but

I can also Understand why I might remind her of the pain she's experiencing and talking to me might bring back memories of the similar harm done to her I appreciate your help in advance on these matters as for myself I'm experiencing emotional ups and downs I have no desire to have my ex fiance back in any form this is who I am now however I'm currently struggling with the idea of closeness in future relationships I'm afraid quite strongly that a I'll bring a lack of Confidence to the process which has never been an issue before

closeness has always been a positive powerful life affirming experience for me and B I'm concerned that intrusive thoughts will intrude when I'm trying to enjoy the company of someone completely different from my ex- fiance perhaps these concerns are somewhat irrelevant at this point since my focus should be on Surviving this next period without dwelling on the idea of a new Relationship I apologize for the disorganization of this post it's more of a mind dump after a crucial meeting with someone deeply involved in this situation from both sides best of luck to everyone update this morning

the police called me to let me know that my ex- fiance who had previously been unfaithful has made a false accusation against me my lawyer is aware that I use this forum and while acknowledging its positive impact on my mental well-being Has advised me not to discuss any further details until this matter is resolved needless to say this accusation is entirely untrue and I am deeply distressed update it's been quite a draining month even though I haven't posted here in a long time I still lack the energy to provide a detailed account of all the

recent events here's a concise summary the good news is that the police investigation didn't last long only 11 Days my lawyer called me on the first Monday in May to inform me that the police were dropping the case and that was the end of it I continued going to work during that week and a half as it helped me stay sane when I received the good news it took me a few days to process everything properly by the end of that week I decided it would be good for my mental health to take a five-day

station I took Monday through Wednesday off last week on a related note I just Had a productive phone call with the other betrayed spouse without any prompting from me she acknowledged that our brief kiss was inappropriate and driven by a desire for Revenge more than anything else she fully understands why we can't see each other in the near to medium-term Future so that shouldn't be an issue however she does want me to be a kind of informal counselor for her for the phone I gently but firmly explained that I can't take on that role while

she Was upset because her previous therapy experiences didn't go well and she views me as a safe person I emphasize that a it's unhealthy for me to be her quasi therapist B I need to distance myself from all individuals involved in this tragedy and C she should have someone safe ask the more challenging questions to empower herself and hopefully break free from her offensive husband I believe she will respect my request for no contact between us for the next Several months because she recognizes the precarious legal situation I was in and doesn't want to jeopardize

safety additionally I have a fortunate piece of information to share my observant neighbor informed me last week that they saw my ex- fiance sneaking in the side gate on that Friday night he is willing to provide a statement about this and my lawyer believes it's a valuable card to keep in our back pocket potentially constituting Trespass if needed it feels empowering to take proactive steps against my ex- fiance and her family I felt like a victim throughout this ordal deal and my ultimate goal is not necessarily Justice or compensation but simply to have the father

and daughter leave me in peace lastly reflecting on the past seven days or so I realize the profound damage I've suffered from all of this I've been so occupied with taking action and being productive since discovering the Infidelities most of it positive and useful that I may not have properly begun the grieving process while part of me yearns for the companionship of a good woman I understand that it would be unfair and selfish to burden her with my emotional baggage while this damage is still fresh I do feel quite lonely though and I hope my

brother's visit will help alleviate some of that loneliness