I've been married a long time married seven8 nine years something like that well she ain't here four I don't care do you matter doesn't matter shut up 19 I've been married 19 yeah yeah oh I got to tell you this uh 3 weeks ago my wife got her identity stolen but the guy's spending less money so I'm just going to let it ride [Applause] my wife's a good Southern Girl my wife is from aab Alabama all right you know about Arab then you know she's white that's the whitest town in America it is all white
people all the time except the day we got married I had 20 koream people there we freaked that town out we're hanging out the Chevron you go to AR rap see where you hang out some guy walked up said what are y'all doing here I said we may buy this place [Applause] you going to buy the shevron no the town we're [Music] Korean I love that hey you Korean or hi Warrior I'm fine how are you what was that I War you Southern speak for Hawaiian now if you never been in Hawaii get there b
b still I love Hawaii I love the words I love all the I love all the vows in their words kind of Yi y Kam Maya Kap that's why there's no wi version of whale of Fortune but when you go to Hawaii start speaking like a local you can't help it you pick their Cadence cuz their words are beautiful Wala capala why Ki as at the NorthShore one time this lady's looking at this sign she's going peep peepy I said no ma'am that's pipeline he ni down with one of my best friends he's he's ding
a bag of hammers man one time he was riding my car and I flipped on the turn signal and he went what's that clicking noise and him your car is making La a clicking noise going you're a goopad you know that but it's not his fult cuz his parents are stupid they named him JB that's my buddy's name and JB's not even doesn't even stand for anything that's the guy's name JB so when he's 16 he tried to apply for his driver's license he want them to think that JB stood for anything on application he
wrote J only B only St it came back jely bonely store I swear he was going look at this Henry jonle bonley Stewart Shazam man what's that clicking [Applause] noise we still call him Jon Ley too and people go how do you get that name we go wi'll tell he's an idiot that's why bless his heart but this show how dumb is too you know on Star Trek where it says to boldly go where no man has gone before he thought boldly go was another planet we're watching Star Trek that clear blue one night he
says when they going to bodle go man what did you just say well every episode they say bigo they ain't never been there man why do we hang out that is Jon bonley from bodle [Applause] go and J is a great hunter too man but he's dangerous to hunt with the way he hunts he goes man if it moves just shoot it go got him zake zake thanks for getting that one cuz Z last words are what's that clicking noise now one of the dumbest things Jo ever said in his life like I told y'all
I am Korean I went to Korea for the first time in my life like 10 years ago and I told Jon Ley I hey Jon Ley I'm going to Korea he goes God that's she like going to a different country kind of like Bly go in it there big boy I'll speak one word of Korean not one word at all that's kind of weird for me cuz people just walk up and talk to me you know I didn't know what to do I'm just kind of looking at him going how y'all doing get away from
me funny thing happened though I'm waiting on the bus one day just waiting on the bus this American girl walked up at all the Korean people she could have picked for some reason she grabed grab me and I swear she looked at me and went is this the busy that [ __ ] Downy [Applause] tow I looked at her and said I reckon so I've Mar 23 years my wife is awesome she is gorgeous she is smarter than I am she's funnier overarch fellas yeah you you want your buddies walking up going dud Not Dead
it's not good oh I tell you a few weeks ago my wife my wife got her identity stolen yeah but the guy spending less money so I'm just going to let it [Laughter] ride 23 years we've been married my wife's never said anything instantly stupid I could talk about on stage until last year I was do a show in Cabo had a couple nights off the people that hired me gave us tickets to go there hear this Mexican band so we're walking down the street to go here this band and I looked at the tickets
and there's no name of the band on the tickets and I said honey I wonder who we're going to go see cuz uh there's no name on here and she goes yeah there is right there no camaras I said honey that's no cameras so I'm running down the street cuz she's chasing me cuz I'm texting the kids going you're not going to believe what your mom just said we get home a couple nights later they had Latin music playing my wife goes what is that and they go no commas we have the whole collection of
noas so now when we go eat Mexican food somebody has to order noas she gets so mad I'll take a some noas no Senor noas no she's so mad one time I say one thing yep you're lazy that's lazy writing no you said something stupid d how y'all doing yeah know what may be going through your mind right now just let it soak in a second or two cuz there's something wrong with this picture ain't there you're kind of going hang on that's an oral up there talking like a hill Billy and I know this
ain't quite R but you'll get used to it I swear okay cuz I talk this way all the time but I know when I come up here you expect me to say something like hero you Rook marvous that ain't going to happen though so drink up if you want just be careful about it we're going to have a good time let me tell you a little about myself uh my name is Henry Cho I am from Knoxville Tennessee I'm Korean see there's a stigma about orientals there's a stereotype to them cuz like right now you're
probably think of an oriental person that you know and you think that I know him Henry do you know the chongs live off of Broadway I go fre not dude sorry heck one time I was back home his big old boy come up to me he was overweight I'd be nice about it he was Hefty he was a hefty fella he come up to me and goes hey I know some Koreans don't a lot matat down the road here you should drop by and see him sometime I thought drop by and see people I don't
even know so I looked at him I said hey big guy there's some fat people live in my neighborhood I said you ought to drop by and split a cow with them I was born and raised in N Tennessee live there my whole life I live out here in Los Angeles now and it's different out here I like coming out here it's you know it's it's good to be out here in Tennessee but I tell you what you know one thing I'm not a big fan of is my girlfriend comes out we have to go
shopping every day she comes out here so I'm not a big fan of doing that she always goes Henry let's go to the mall I go honey if I want to be around clothes that have never been worn I'll sit in your closet for an hour see all the guys love that joke and all the ladies go that is not funny see I can't shop for girls either I cannot buy her clothes as a present no guys can do that you know why ladies y'all have too many sizes I go honey what size are you
she goes I'm a 3 four or 5 six that's four sizes in my book and you know what size we end up buying ladies we buy whatever size of sales clerk is cuz she'll come up to help us and go you need some help yeah what size does she wear she's about your size really what's your favorite color I don't know what's yours yeah your size your color put in a bag I've been here 5 minutes come on and if you're buying clothes for a girl fellas what's the one thing you can't forget if you're
buying cloes for a girl don't forget that receipt heck that's the first thing I give them I go honey I bought you a present really what is it here's your receipt here's your present here's your car keys y'all be back about 5 minutes or so one of my daughter's best friends little boy he's half Vietnamese and his dad's name is me so me and I I know me and I were inspectors at a robotics tournament and it turned to bad version of who's on first cuz the director came up and said hey who signed up
on this robot and I said me he goes you and I said no well then who him well who's he me we can do this all day buddy so me found out I was making fun of him he's a grown man he's had that name his entire life no one's ever made fun of him except for me me he called me and said it gets worse I go how he goes my sister's name is you I said you're lying he goes I swear I'm like well how cruel are your parents we're going to name them
me and you and send them to America that's what we're doing that'll teach him to talk back [Music]
