i decided to tell this story about neville i decided to use my middle name which is ammons as my mother's maiden name my authority rests on the fact that i spent neville's last day with him as you all know mrs goddard was quite ill and she was in the hospital so neville as far as i can figure knew exactly that he was going because he left two documents one is a formal document and the other is a handwritten note now what had happened was that three years before he departed i had the vision of his
death as judas at the time i didn't know what it was i saw a neville in front of a restaurant and i started to speak to it and suddenly he chose and he fell back and when he fell on the sidewalk he spilled all of his bowels well the dream was so grisly that i simply couldn't tell him and yet at that time he was saying from the platform i love to hear that you have seen me die well i kept hearing him say this but i still could not bring myself to tell him this
awful dream which i had so one night i was leafing through scripture and suddenly my eye fell on this passage in the first chapter of acts this is the description of judas peter is speaking um [Music] thank you i was going through scripture and my eye fell on the description of the death of judas in the first chapter of acts now peter is speaking here he's describing judas who was numbered among them in the ministry and he says now this man with the reward of his iniquity purchased a field and falling headlong he burst asunder
in the midst and all his bowels gushed out well i was so excited i could hardly wait to tell neville but it was too late at night so i practically sat up all night and when i figured that it was a decent hour in the morning i got on the phone and i got mrs goddard on the phone too because i wanted her to hear this and i told me i said neville you are judas and he said yes judas betrayed the messianic secrets and then he said you know that there are two traditions of
the death of judas one is in the gospel account where he goes and hangs himself the other is this account which i just got through telling you how he he bursts asunder in the midst and then he went on to say in the orient suicide is a very honorable thing the one who commits suicide in the orient disembowels himself and then he repeated once more judas betrayed the messianic secret now just in case there should be someone here who did not hear him toward the last i want to mention that his truly great experience was
the discovery that he is the father of david and he told all of us that we are to have the same experience we are going to awaken as god the father now what i'm telling today would have no purpose it would make no sense whatsoever if it were not for the fact that every lecture neville said i am not speculating i am not theorizing i have awakened as god the father and every one of you is going to have this experience so that laid the groundwork then that last day we were going to a dinner
party a very early dinner party and i literally spent the whole day with neville i'm positive i'm the last one who saw him here so i went to his home to pick him up and he was so happy because he felt that mrs goddard would soon really be well and she was coming back from the hospital but now neville was so anxious not to disappoint his hostess that he left mrs goddard in the hospital one day longer so he could go to this dinner party now i know in retrospect that he left her in the
hospital because he did not want her to see his body so on the way to the hospital i told him about a dream i'd had the night before and i had awakened with great great anxiety and he said to me it's wonderful that the depths of your being have given you a warning now i know now that the anxiety i woke with was my inner self telling me in advance of what was about to happen so we went to the hospital and i went downtown to excuse me to do a few errands when i came
back i told him about my trip downtown i said it was so hot terribly hot but it made me think here we are deep deep in the heart of woodland which was blake's term for this earth the furnaces here on this earth and he said yes we are in woodland and there are those who believe that no one ever returns from it and i said do you see those who haven't come in and he said yes i see them and i said you see those who have come out they said yes i see those i
said then you see all three he said yes i do and those who have come out who have returned to eternity are the most exalted beings you could ever imagine when we arrived at the party the first thing we wanted was a martini so i got mine and he got his and then he gave me the first piece of bread and cheese he said here frank take this so i took it and then just before we ate my hostess asked me if i would like to have another martini i said certainly and neville said wait
here frank take this and he took his unfinished martini and poured it into my glass so i finished his drink i don't i don't think i have to point out the parallel here between the last supper and what he was enacting there then after dinner he suddenly stood up and he said we're going and with that we laughed when we got home to his place both of us decided that we didn't care for anything else to drink that night and after a brief conversation i went home and retired early but for some reason i couldn't
sleep there was a dog howling outside my window well the next morning the phone rang and it was his daughter she had come to get him to go pick up mrs goddard and she said frank i think daddy went during the night can you come over i said certainly i'm on my way so i rushed over and when i got there the body had already been sealed off the authorities were there the coroner the the county officials and members of the family of daughter's friends the coroner kept asking me what had happened he said was
mr goddard a heavy drinker and his daughter said well he used to be but not lately and he asked me how much he had had to drink and i totally wrote no more and then i remembered that he had given me the last half of his martini i said well he didn't have more he didn't even have two and i said why are you asking me all these questions and he said we don't understand all the blood and i said well i don't know what you're talking about i haven't seen the body with that he
said come with me and he took me into the part of the house that was closed off and there was neville lying on his back in a rigid position with his arm stretched out like this nude with a napkin over his face and the coroner said we don't understand all the blood see and with that he reached down and picked up the napkin and showed me and there was the image which i had seen in my dream all those years before a terrible contorted expression on his face as if he had choked to death now
that's what i saw in my dream i saw him choke and then fall backward and when he fell backward his bowel was cashed out now naturally when he died here on earth his bowels didn't gush out his blood touched out the coroner said apparently he shed every drop of blood in his body [Music] and with that he put the napkin back over neville's face and then before we left he said we don't understand all the blood see and what's more he reached down and picked the napkin up so i could see the face so i
knew in that instant in a way that i could not understand a way that i could not prove that i was actually seeing scripture which was written 2 000 years ago made history because he had already told his group that he was judas i think some of you may remember the lecture some years ago when he talked about the dream which one of the members of the audience had had about his death as judas and at that time he explained that judah is the great revealer because the word judah comes from yad which in hebrew
is the word for hand i didn't know how to begin what to do where i would go from there i certainly had no proof there was no one i could tell i did tell a few people something told me to tell the two men in the family of neville's daughter's friend who had cleaned up his blood something told me to tell them that i had seen him die this way some years ago so it was on record so to speak the following week i was in his home and i happened to go near his armchair
where he spent so much of his time and there beside his arm chair was a note the note read isaiah 53 1st verse who hath believed our report following that were the words this is my true experience of the last supper judas betrayed the messianic secret following that in scripture amos chapter 8 verse 11. behold the days come saith the lord god that i will send a famine in the land it will not be a famine of bread nor a thirst for water but for the hearing of the word of god following that the scripture
from isaiah 22 22nd verse to the 25th verse and the key of the house of david will i lay upon his shoulder so he shall open and none shall shut and he shall shut and none shall open and i will fasten him as a nail in a sure place and he shall be for a glorious throne to his father's house and then to paraphrase the wrist describes the hanging of the burden of the vessels of the father's house on the snail and then the nail is cut off and the burden falls now this note i
found on thursday well when i saw that note it was as if i had gotten the telegram from eternity because i knew that this was his way of letting me know that he knew that his death was going to fulfill scripture but i still didn't know what to do with it then some weeks later i was able to see the document which he wrote as a lead-in to resurrection which as you know is his great great statement on his experience he describes all of his experiences from the birth to the appearance of david to the
splitting of the temple and then finally the benediction of the dove well he had told us that he wanted to write a lead end to resurrection something that would help prepare the reader for what was coming i can't quote the whole thing i started to read it to you but i think really it's too long so i will tell you the gist of it he says that what happened to him goes beyond any reasonable thing it was all revelation that he knew that anyone hearing this story if they were or rather if he were in
their place he would think well poor neville he must have had a very hard time on it then he goes on to make the assertion that jesus is the i am of every man in this world and his son the christ is david then he says until i got this down on paper i didn't feel that i had accomplished the work which i was sent to do then he goes on to say i now present my two witnesses the internal witness of my experience and the external witness of scripture so between the lines he is
telling us that he knew perfectly well that he was sent into this world by the elohim that is to say the brothers the compound unity which is god sent here to the characters in the play to let them know the means by which they were to depart from this play a few days before our dinner party i called him to tell him that i was having a very very high experience i couldn't account for but that my consciousness was going higher and higher and higher and i said neville i know beyond the shadow of the
doubt some kind of authority is going to be given i don't understand it i certainly didn't earn it with that he broke in and he said no it's all a gift it's all grace and i said well that's my story and he said you want to hear my story i said yes he said mrs murphy went off to lourdes to see the holy relics and while she was there she saw the braces and she saw the crutches and when she was coming back through customs the customs inspector said mrs murphy do you have anything to
declare and she said why no and he said well do you mind if i open your suitcase just saying she said why no help yourself so he opened the suitcase and looked around he found a bottle and he said what is she this why i've been to lourdes see the holy relics i brought back a bottle of holy water he said you might if i inspect it and she said no no by all means so he opened it he sniffed at it he tasted it he said mrs murphy this is not a bottle of water
this is a bottle of scotch and she said down on your knees man and pray to the holy father it's another miracle [Music] so i'm sure you're not surprised that he announced his coming demise in the form of a joke i didn't get it i laughed at it i thought it was funny but i didn't get it until someone said don't you see the first words went to lourdes to see the relics i thought well that's right there aren't any relics and lures relics in the sense of remains you simply have the the crutches and
the braces and what have you so there can be no question of doubt that he knew exactly what was coming he had enough control as i see it that he was able to arrange his wife not finding his body because that would have been a terrible blow to her if she had seen what i saw it would have set her back terribly now are there any questions do yes intend to continue uh some of that will work i i feel that i must tell what i have what i just got through telling you was the
key to the discovery and scripture that neville's name both neville and goddard appear in the form of hebrew and greek words and they don't just appear they appear in the very passages which have to do with this experience so this is what i feel i must tell because i feel that the people who supported neville have a right to hear this story is that what you mean harriet yes i'm here for four sundays those of you who got an announcement of course no after that i don't know i'm not trying to convince anyone of anything
i was in a state of shock for about a year especially when i began finding these things in scripture i i simply didn't know what to do with it actually i secretly hoped that it would go away but it didn't go away so here i am the last place i ever thought it would be no i don't feel commissioned to teach i he he said it all he uh especially the law that's not my uh i'm not qualified yes well that is my purpose in in holding these sessions if there is a genuine response after
these four that i intend to go on yes any more questions well if not then thank you for coming i'm sorry that it was held up but i wanted to make sure that everyone uh got here since i lost my room but what a game [Applause] you
