How To Tell Better Stories Than 99% Of People (5 Steps)

the most successful speakers creators and leaders know how to tell insanely good stories and I wanted to do the same but when I started on this journey I quickly ran into three problems first I didn't know what stories to tell second I didn't know how to tell a story in actually an interesting way and third I just didn't feel confident to share stories and to solve these problems I interviewed for professional speakers read 41 books on storytelling and tried lots of crazy stuff on the way as part of that give Vel a five-step system on

how to tell better stories than 99% of the people that system will help you have this abundance of story will help you turn any average moment into the most captivating story and to feel finally confident to share stories in any situation let's go step one structure stories when I started on my storytelling journey I had this moment that made me question how storytelling is taught 2020 I took this very expensive storytelling course here in the Netherlands and in that course they taught the hero's journey the hero's journey is that beautiful story structure consists of 17

steps and is pretty much used in any Hollywood movie like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars the structure that they teach in all these courses out there is useful for big stages but it's completely useless for the stories we tell in front of our friends or at work those casual stories should be between 1 and 2 minutes that's it in 1 to 2 minutes you don't have time to cover the 17 steps of the hero's journey once I realized that I studied all the structures out there and I tried to pull out the parts

that worked really well after doing that for a few weeks I developed a structure that changed my life it consists of four steps c a r t context adversity resolution takeaway now you can think of your story structure like this card in the supermarket holds together all the awesome ingredients or elements of your story or I guess um if you're a little bit simpler like me then just remember it rhymes on fart step one context in the first step you want to give some rough context where and when does it take place who's the main

character and what does that character want example it was October 2023 when I went for this big walk through cental Park in New York on that day I wanted to take some pictures for my mom whose birthday was coming up in just a few days now that could be the context who when where what boom try to set the scene in just a few sentences so that you move to the most important part of the story as quickly as possible step two adversity soon into the story it's time to introduce the adversity or the challenge

that that main character faces and that can be any challenge difficult decision a physical challenge an emotional challenge another person anything as long as it's substantial to that main character example as I was walking home I reached into my pockets but then I realized my phone was missing I double checked every single pocket on my pants but still wasn't there immedia stetch to panic Fu that phone has hundreds of photos for my mom and I don't have any backups for that weeks of work just gone the challenge is the longest and also the most crucial

part of any story describe the struggle show what is at stake and let the listeners know how the character feels step three resolution next let your listeners know how the character responds to that challenge what are the actions reactions decisions taking to overcome that challenge how does it turn out at the end example right at that moment someone tapped me on my shoulder turn around and I see what this jogger he asked um excuse me you seem like you're looking for something is there anything missing I said yeah I lost my phone with all the

photos on it right in that moment I noticed this smile emerging from his lips he reached into his pockets and pulled out my phone and handed it to me I couldn't help but jump around his neck and just give him this big hug up to this point well that story is an interesting story but your listeners don't really know why you're sharing the story with them that's when you move into the last step of the story step four takeaway and the last step let your listeners know what you learn from that experience what did you

realize what's the point of the story example what I learned from that experience is that there are honest people in this world will do the right thing but I guess also to start backing up my phone when you share that takeaway watch out not to say you should takeway or the moral of the story is why not well you'll just come across as this preacher no one likes a preacher so the better way is to frame it as what I learn from that experience is X Y and Z it's a much more subtle much more

inviting way to tell the takeaway that structure has given my stories this super solid foundation I use it in all of my stories and it has really helped me tell much better stories than I'd say 30% of the people but after sharing more and more of these stories I noticed that some of my stories still didn't land too well and at that point I didn't get it like hey I have this incredible story structure why do I still keep losing people at first I didn't know but soon soon I found the answer step two enhance

stories and one day I joined this free storytelling master class and even though I didn't expect too much of that class it changed the way I thought about storytelling forever now right in the first few minutes the speaker shared a story about spilling coffee over his white shirt I know sounds super boring right nothing special but the way he shared the story was beyond anything I've ever seen from the first second he hoped me into the story I was on the atch of my my seat throughout the entire story dying to find out what would

happen next but it was obviously not because of the story because hey coffee over shirt not special but it was because of the techniques that he used after hearing that story I sat at my desk thinking wow this was so freaking powerful I got to find out what techniques that guy was using for 4 years I studied tons of videos books and courses to find out what makes a story great 100 pages of notes later I've boiled it down to 20 techniques that the best storytellers use I'll actually include a link to document that shows

you all the 20 techniques in the description below but hey as we don't have the time to cover all the techniques in this video I'm going to share with you my three favorite techniques that I use the most if you only use those three techniques you'll tell better stories than 60% of the people out there first technique raise questions your job as a Storyteller is to make your audience want to know more they should be on the edges of their seat dying to find out how the story continues and one simple technique is to raise

questions example right when I was leaving the park I realized something terrible immedately my heart started pounding against my chest in full panic mode I emptied every single pocket trying to find it only to realize it was gone each one of these sentences makes you wonder wait what is that terrible thing that you realized what are you looking for what was gone the best stories raise questions in your listener's mind so for your story think how can you anticipate the interesting stuff that is about to come you can say for example last year I had

an experience that completely changed my outlook on life or yesterday I had the worst meeting of my entire life or right in that moment when I thought it cannot get any worse that's when I got an email from my manager anticipate what is about to come second technique share the thoughts the best stories take us on this emotional roller coaster the simplest way to make any story more emotional is to share the character's thoughts what was that character thinking in that crucial moment of the story what were the hopes the goals the plans the fears

in that specific moment example I thought shoot weeks of Works memories and hundreds of photos gone my mom will be so disappointed why do I keep losing things I know when we speak we often try to sound super intelligent super sophisticated but don't do that when sharing the thoughts give us the raw unfiltered thought that will make it much more interesting third technique share the dialogue often our stories will have more than one character maybe there's this one person that helped you maybe there's this one person that really pissed you off maybe there's this customer

that you helped whoever it is now you can bring your story to Life by sharing some of the dialogue of that crucial moment what were the exact words that one of the characters said in that crucial moment of the story example right in that moment I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn around and it's this jogger he says uh excuse me are you looking for something I said yes I lost my phone it has all its photos on it and it's gone well um is it an iPhone I said yes it's an iPhone

with a cheeky smile he reaches into his pocket and he pulls out my phone you can share a full-blown conversation going back and forth or you can just have one exclamation by one of the characters that's up to you the key is to use this very concise and catchy language when I started using those three techniques A Whole New World opened up for me I started sharing stories really anywhere I could some in front of my friends some in front of my co-workers and even sometimes on stage but after a few weeks I started running

into a problem I realized that I don't have any more interesting stories that I could share I already recycled my three stories a few times now how can I have more interesting stories at first I didn't have the answer I just thought that hey I need to have a crazier more adventurous life I only found the answer once I discovered one book step three find Stories the book that has helped me have this abundance of stories is called story worthy by Matthew dicks it's this one wonderful book with lots of good nuggets but there were

two exercises that have helped me build this story library of hundreds of stories first exercise first best last worst that first exercise helped me to remember these stories that I had long forgotten about now for that I take out a piece of paper and I draw five columns in the First Column I put prompt in the second column I put first then last then best and then worst after that I fill in the prompts prompts can be anything that triggers a memory gift travel job uh Book car hobby injury anything that triggers a memory let's

say that my prom was gift I then asked myself hm what was my first gift a yeah it was that chainsaw that I got when I was like 3 years old I then put chainsaw below that now then I go to the next question what was my last gift H that was probably that weighted blanket I got for my birthday to sleep better and then put waed blanket then I go to the next question what was my best gift oh yes that was definitely that train ticket to Spain and then I go into the last

one what was my worst gift H oh yes that was that Peppermill I got for my best friends for my 30th birthday you guys for that now at this point I don't Fletch out any story yet I just note down one or two words that help me remember that story I then do the same thing for the next prompt once I've then done that exercise for a few prompts I then review my entries and I ask myself do any of these memories Stand Out is is there maybe anything that is a little bit more entertaining

a little bit more emotional or maybe more interesting if yes well that's my story actually to save you time creating that table I'll include a template with my favorite prompts in the description below first last best worse is this super fun way to uncover these stories that you've long forgotten from the past but hey there's another exercise to spot stories in the present moment right in the moment when they emerge the exercise I'm about to share is actually the only exercise I've done consistently every single day for 3 years now second exercise homework for Life

homework for life is an exercise to help you spot your story worthy moments every single day now how does it work at the end of each day I take a moment and I ask myself hm if I had to tell a story from today what would it be what would be that one moment that stood out the one moment that touched my heart maybe it was that funny conversation maybe some small thing that annointed me or maybe some realization and now once I have that moment I not down that date and that story worthy moment

example today is August 6 and my story worthy moment was feeling grateful after my 9 km run through the park without knee pain now just as context this was huge for me because I've had stopped running for like 7 years after an injury on my knees so big moment now that was my story worthy moment um actually I love to hear from you what was your story worthy moment from today let me know in the comments so what happened once I started doing that exercise more and more at first my entries were quite boring and

rather unspecific actually one of them was oh today I enjoyed my peanut butter sandwich but after a few weeks I started to notice more and more meaningful moments I now have minimum one super interesting moment every week that could be turned to this incredible story now you can do the math right if just one out of seven moments per week is a bit more interesting that's 52 stories per year that's 156 stories in 3 years Isn't that cool but to turn those moments into story I do some extra work I take that moment craft a

story run that moment with the structure and the elements you learned and then put it into my story Bank a story bank is this central place where I capture classify and remember my stories now what do I capture in there I try to keep it pretty simple so check five things I capture the title the point of the story a summary use case and a rating that's it I try to keep it as simple as possible I personally like to save my stories in oce so that I can access them anytime when I'm also traveling

but hey you can use really any tool that works for you if it's Google Docs notion or even a journal it doesn't matter pick the tool that is the easiest for you that causes the least friction but actually let me link a template of my story Bank in the description below so that you don't have to waste hours and hours creating one yourself I started my story Bank around 4 years ago and every time I encounter a new story I keep adding it to that story Bank sure hey it takes me a few minutes to

put that in my story bank but I'm happy to spend that time because I know that I'll be able to use that story for really the rest of my life if you use that structure we talked about and you sprinkle in some of the techniques you just learned and then actually save it in your story bag you be a better Storyteller than 80% of the people out there but hey to unlock this this last 20% and to become and to be part of this top 1% of storytellers there are two more steps that you need

to master step four practice stories when I started practicing my stories I rehearsed in front of a mirror because that's pretty much what everyone told me but soon I realized that that was terrible advice now why because it's completely unnatural to see yourself while speaking the only thing that happened was that I got more self conscious about how I looked I was like huh wait a second do do I always look that tired huh really I didn't know that I had wrinkles up here Sho rehearsing in front of a mirror is not helpful I found

it much more helpful to rehearse my stories while speaking out loud in my room often I pick random objects in my room as my imaginary audience for example my water bottle is one person then a photo frame is another person then maybe my dog is another person as my imaginary audience so what I do then I share my story and I try to hold deliberate eye contact with each one of the objects for a few seconds I usually try to rehearse my stories two to three times before I shareed with an actual audience now two

to three times is enough to get comfortable with the story but not really enough to rehearse every single word of the story but once I've rehearsed then a few times I then try to share the story with someone I know to get feedback at first I asked my friends and family if I could share my stories they obviously agreed because they like me um but after some time I started to feel more and more Awkward about it I was like um man I don't know whether I can ask my best friend I've already asked him

seven times to listen to my stories pretty boring him to death I thought of getting a storytelling coach but I quickly realized that those coaches were way too expensive good ones cost $200 an hour excellent ones can cost up to1 thousand an hour but that's when I discovered something that has helped me make the biggest jump as a Storyteller I get an English language tutor no hold on I didn't use that tutor for English instead I use that tutor to work on my storytelling skills there are platforms like prle or italki where you can have

a private English tutor for as little as $3 an hour in these 1hour sessions I share two to three stories and I ask the tutor to give me feedback it doesn't matter that those tutors are not storytelling coaches they can still tell me how they like the stories where they got bored and how the story made them feel after sharing two or three stories I then usually try to use the rest of the time to improvise a few stories on the spot now that is a crazy heck meeting with the tutor once a week for

a few weeks has been an absolute game changer for me but hey paying someone to listen to you obviously has some limitations that's why the last step is absolutely crucial step five tell stories even though I knew how to tell stories it still took me quite some time to start telling these stories in these normal day-to-day situations I just didn't know in which situations I could tell these stories now often times I only realize that hours later I'm like ah Phillip you're so stupid you could have used that story in that one moment that only

changed once I started one habit now instead of waiting for that perfect opportunity to tell a big story I started telling these small stories in these very specific situations anytime that someone asks me how are you now before I used to respond like that I used to say good how are you or ah yes finally the sun is out the sun is shining that's how I responded after I started sharing a tiny story that shows something interesting about myself example if someone were to ask me today how are you I'd respond like this I'd say

I'm good actually I had this beautiful moment this morning after 2 weeks on the road I walked into my apartment hopped on my couch and just let out this big I was just so relieved to be back in my own four walls to finally be able to chill a little bit um anyway what about you when was the last time you got back from let's say a longer trip and how was that for you that's it a tiny story that tells a little bit more about me as a human now what are the things that

I usually say when someone asks me how are you well usually I try to respond with anything that is more interesting than the weather or traffic maybe has there been anything interesting that has happened lately to me maybe have I picked up a new skill or is there this small thing that is a little bit annoying but still funny to share well that's the story that I share remember story worthy moment homework for life well those are the moments that you can share in that specific moment in case you're wondering isn't that super awkward like

to share a story without the other person asking absolutely at the beginning I found it super super awkward as well but what I can tell you now after sharing these stories hundreds and hundreds of time it's so worth it you'll not only improve as a Storyteller but you'll also have much more meaningful conversations with co-workers friends but also strangers once you've shared these tiny stories a few few times over a few weeks you start to feel more and more comfortable to share stories in really any situation doesn't matter whether in front of friends co-workers or

on a big stage that's it if you follow the five steps you just learned you'll tell better stories than 99% of the people but hey today we touch up on a few storytelling techniques but there are a few ones that we haven't discussed for that you may want to check out my book The Story selling method or that next video in which I share my favorite storytelling techniques enjoy [Music]