If you know nothing about wine, relax. This MasterClass is for you. It seems impossible, but by the end of the workshop you'll be able to identify each note.
Vanilla, thyme, berries, disinfectant. Are you the type who can't identify anything? Not even the basic aromas of a wine?
For instance, couldn't you tell whether it's fruit or dry wine? Great. Really, congrats.
That means your life is great. You have love, friends, dignity. It means you're reasonably happy.
I'll explain. There's a well-kept secret in enology. The amount of notes you can notice is proportionate to how miserable and lonely you are.
When I say miserable, I mean in your soul. Because wine is expensive. Ideally you should be a piece of shit, but with money in the bank.
I'll tell you a personal tale. That's me. I graduated in Advertising.
I had loads of friends, went out every night, drank anything, ate everything. On the weekend, I'd dine some fast-food. Then, my wife left me for my brother.
In the year I lost my father in a car accident on my birthday. My friends left me, because I was selling Herbalife. I didn't know it was a pyramid scheme.
Anyway, it was in that pit of loneliness, of self-boycott, of existential emptiness that I discovered my talent for winetasting. Taste buds are a defense mechanism the body creates when you're a piece of shit. Think about it, have you ever met a fun winetaster?
Happy? Full of friends? Or anyone who fell in love with a sommelier?
On a large table, where do you sit? Next to the one who knows all about wine? No.
No, of course not. Now look at Aloísio Chulapa. Three wives, a bazillion friends and drinks Skol.
Player Adriano Imperador could be in a water tank, but he's happy. There, drinking Kaiser. Where there is happiness, there are no taste buds.
No, there aren't. Mumuzinho drinks Corote. So, to develop your taste buds and sense of smell, in this workshop we'll ruin your life.
Wanna see how it works? It's easy. My mom is the only person who can still stand me.
The only person I have in the world. I'll send her a voice message now. Check it out.
Mom, it's Richard. I'll put you in a home tomorrow. I don't wanna see your face.
I'm not supporting you anymore. Enough. Forget me.
Mom. . .
Goodness. . .
Let's do this. Let's see, let's see. .
. Like so. .
. Pronounced tannin. I taste oak, thyme and strawberry.
This is a Domaine Leroy, 2009. Nailed it! What are you waiting for?
Ruin your life now! It's worth every sip. And if you enjoyed the subject of wine, we're also opening a workshop for beer master!
But first you need a motorcycle workshop!
