- If you're expecting your newborn to look like this when they're sleeping, you are going to be in for a bit of a surprise because, in reality, your sleeping newborn is going to look a lot like this most of the time. You might see and hear that and think that your baby is awake, but even when they're moving around and making noise like this, your baby is likely still asleep and just in a stage of sleep called REM sleep. As adults, when we're in REM sleep, we're experiencing something known as sleep paralysis.
And this is our body's way of protecting us from preventing us from moving around as we dream. But newborns don't yet experience sleep paralysis, which means that they move around a lot and make a variety of noises like grunting, crying out, smiling, frowning, or whimpering. And unfortunately, newborns spend a lot of their time asleep in REM sleep, which means your newborn is going to be an extremely noisy sleeper.
The reason I'm telling you this is because new parents often mistake these sounds and movements as signs that their newborn is actually awake and they rush in to pick them up or think that they're going to have to settle them back to sleep. And for this reason, you should actually avoid rushing in and picking up your baby as soon as they make a sound. If you do, you might accidentally be interrupting their sleep and causing them to wake up prematurely.
So the next time your little one starts to make a noise, wait a few seconds and make sure that they're actually truly awake. You'll find that quite often they'll resettle and continue sleeping. And if you're worried about accidentally leaving them when they are actually awake, trust me, you will be able to quickly identify when your little one is just in REM sleep compared to fully awake and needing your comfort and support.
Now, newborns aren't just noisy sleepers. To make things even more challenging, their sleep is also unpredictable. This stems from the fact that your newborn sleep is guided by their sleep pressure, not their internal body clock or their circadian rhythm.
The circadian rhythm is what causes us to sleep at fairly predictable times. We generally get tired around the same time every night and wake around the same time every morning, but because your baby's drive to sleep is determined by sleep pressure, your newborn will simply fall asleep whenever they are tired and wake up when they are hungry, uncomfortable, or no longer tired. And that's why the length of their naps is so unpredictable.
For example, for the first nap of the day, your newborn may sleep for two hours and then the second nap might only be 20 minutes followed by a 30-minute nap not long after. And this might change completely the next day. And in addition to nap lengths varying, your newborn's wake times will also vary.
This is simply because the length of time that they can stay awake for will depend on the length of the previous nap. So for example, if they just woke from a three-hour nap, they may need to stay awake for the maximum awake time for newborns which is around 120 minutes before they actually build up enough sleep pressure to fall back to sleep. But if they only had a 20-minute nap, then they might be ready for another nap after only being awake for 45 minutes.
Although having an unpredictable sleep routine is extremely frustrating at times, this behavior is very normal. And unfortunately, it isn't until around six months that your baby's sleep routine will become a lot more predictable. But hopefully by knowing this, you feel less pressure around your little ones' nap times and schedule and understand that this is just a normal part of newborn sleep.
Now, to make naps a little less confusing, I have developed a New Parent's Guide To Naps which you can get by clicking the link in the description box below. And this will just give you a little bit of a guide around what you can expect for your baby's naps for the first three years of their life. Now let's talk about your newborn's bedtime.
Up until three months of age, their bedtime is more like just a late nap. And by late I mean 10 or 11 o'clock at night, which is very normal for a newborn. At this age, you shouldn't be expecting them to be going down for the night at 7:00 p.
m. That will happen, but not yet. When they do go down to sleep before three months of age, it's also completely normal for them to wake multiple times during the night.
In fact, it's completely normal for them to wake every two to three hours for a feed at this age due to their small stomach. The good news is that after three months of age, your baby will gradually move their bedtime to an earlier time and start to have a longer stretch of sleep at the start of the night. For example, instead of going to bed at 11:00 p.
m. and waking every two to three hours for a feed, after three months, your baby may go down for bed at 8:00 p. m.
and routinely sleep for five hours before waking for their first feed at one, then again at four, and then waking for the day at seven. Now, this is just an example. I'm not saying that that's the exact schedule your little one will follow, but it shows the changes that you can expect as they get a little older.
One thing we haven't talked about yet is your baby's sleep environment, which is actually really important. In the first six weeks of life, the sleeping environment is not going to have a huge impact on your newborn's ability to fall asleep as they will simply fall asleep when their sleep pressure is high and they are tired. However, after six to eight weeks of age, they start to produce more of the sleepy hormone melatonin in very small amounts, and they also start to become more aware of the world around them.
And at this point, their sleeping environment starts to have an impact on how easy it is for them to fall asleep and then stay asleep. If the environment is not conducive to sleep, then your baby is more likely to have shorter naps and take longer to fall asleep. An environment which is conducive to sleep for any baby has three key features.
The first feature is darkness, so it needs to be dark enough that you can't actually read a book and this should be for naps as well as nighttime sleeps. The darkness does two things. Firstly, it helps to neutralize the environment and make it easier for your little one to fall asleep and start linking sleep cycles when they are developmentally ready.
And secondly, it encourages your baby's body to produce melatonin, which is the hormone that promotes sleep. The second key feature is the bedroom needs to be cool. Generally, babies sleep best in rooms that have a room temperature of mid 60s to low 70s Fahrenheit or 18 to 21 degrees Celsius.
If you are unable to achieve this room temperature, then you just dress your baby appropriately for the temperature of the room because if the room is too hot or too cold, your baby is going to wake up from naps more frequently and have shorter naps as well as wake more frequently throughout the night. And the last key feature is the bedroom needs to be quiet. Everyone sleeps best in a quiet room.
Of course, your newborn will eventually fall asleep in a noisy environment. However, they're going to fall asleep a lot quicker and stay asleep for longer if the bedroom is quiet. Now, obviously, we all live in extremely busy households, and achieving the ideal sleep environment can be challenging.
So make sure you check out this video next where I share with you my favorite baby sleep products which actually make it possible for you to create this ideal sleep environment and improve your baby's ability to fall asleep and stay asleep for longer.
