I'm not a perfect Christian man. Sometimes there's a war inside me between who I am and who I'm called to be. I've fallen into lust more times than I care to admit.
Looked with eyes that should have been closed, chased attention when I should have chased holiness. I've judged others not with love but with pride. I've measured their sins and forgot the scale was broken in my own hands.
I've gotten angry, but not righteous anger. The kind that burns bridges, lashes out, and feels justified. I've lied more times than I can count, not just to others, but to myself, until falsehood started sounding like truth, and truth started feeling uncomfortable.
I've sinned in gluttony, not just with food, but with distractions. I've fed on screens instead of God's scriptures. I've scrolled endlessly through feeds while my Bible collected dust.
I've been greedy, chased more while giving less. Wanted the crown but not the cross. Wanted blessings but not the burden of obedience.
And sloth. Yes, I know sloth. I've delayed the vision God gave me.
Procrastinated. Told myself I'd start tomorrow. And sometimes I forget to pray, saying I'm busy or tired.
I say I will later. and later never comes. But I'm still here, still trying, still believing, still reaching for the hand of the Father, even when I've wandered off because God didn't save me expecting perfection.
He saved me knowing I'd be a process. And I I failed miserably hundreds of times. Yet I always search for my father.
There's a pull in my heart, and it pulls me towards God. It tells me I have to try again. For his word says, "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
And this is why my soul refuses to settle in my failures. Because I owe it to my father, whose mercy outlives my mistakes. I've had days when my flesh screamed louder than my discipline and still he loved me.
So why would I ever give up on a father who saw every flaw and still chose me? Who opened his arms every time I returned? Wrecked by sin but ready to repent.
Who never turned his face when I stumbled but waited. Patient, steady, unchanging. He has accepted me in my worst.
So, I'll keep running back until my heart becomes like his. My weakness is not my disqualification. It's an invitation for God's power to take over, for his strength to be made perfect in me.
And God never needed me to be flawless to begin with. He needed me to be honest, to show up, to admit, Lord, I can't do this alone. Not every man is perfect, but he can still be faithful.
He may stumble, but he gets up. He may fall short, but he returns to the cross. It's about surrender, about growth, about letting God finish what he started.
I know I won't always get things right, but my heart still beats for righteousness. Because it takes strength to stay in the fight when you know your flaws better than anyone else. So to my brothers, this is your reminder.
You're not less of a Christian because you're flawed. You are more of one because you've stayed. And if God hasn't given up on you, don't you dare give up on yourself.
You are his. Chosen, forgiven, loved, and enough. Because the real power of a Christian man isn't in his perfection.
It's in his persistence. Proverbs 24:16 says, "The righteous man falls seven times and rises again. " So don't mistake your fall like it's the end.
You'll rise every time because you're a fool for Christ and a servant who won't stay down. We may not be perfect, but we are redeemed through Jesus. His grace is sufficient for us, for his power is made perfect in our weakness.
