there is a subtle game of glances a certain tone of voice and laughter with which a mortal can pretend to consider those with whom they Converse as equals this is the kind of betrayal you should particularly encourage because the person will not be fully aware of it and when they are you will have already made it difficult for them to sever the ties excerpt from the book screw tape Letters by CS Lewis the act of dissimulation and pretending to fit into different social groups is related to narcissism where authenticity is sacrificed in favor of social
approval this is one of the main attributes of a narcissist pretending to be something they are not first and foremost the excerpts used here are narrated by a character created by Lewis who is a demon teaching his nephew how to manipulate human beings showing that this is not only a cruel but also an inhumane attitude dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ what are the signs that you are involved with someone who possesses a narcissistic Spirit there are certain types of people in this world who defy our understanding and among them are narcissists I am not
referring to the common and superficial use of this word where anyone can be be labeled as a narcissist because of one or two behaviors I am talking about someone who truly possesses a narcissistic Spirit someone who perfectly aligns with the characteristics described in the word of God about people who are lovers of themselves 2 Timothy 3:2 if you have been with someone like this you know how difficult it is because they do not just exhibit one or two traits but they align almost entirely with the spiritual and emotional signs described for a narcissistic personality if
you have been with such a person in the past I hope this is a moment of healing and Liberation for you it may be a relief to know that God sees and understands what you have been through if you are with someone like this now may this text help you discern and better understand the person beside you in light of the scriptures and if you have just come out of such a situation and are still feeling destroyed know that there is comfort in Christ who can restore your heart and give you a new beginning as
it says in Psalm 34:18 the Lord is close to the Brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit we would like to thank everyone who watches our YouTube channel we are the true Soulful devotions and many channels are being created using our audios but we are at peace because we have you here with us you watching our videos liking subscribing and sharing our content already helps us a lot may God bless you let's begin the video first sign the empathy you feel for this person can paradoxically lead to even worse treatment not better Lewis
tells us in Mere Christianity that we might start forgiving the husband or wife or the parents or children or the nearest officer for something they have done or said in the last week but the ability to see beyond the surface to understand the essence of the other is a precious quality that God has given us but in a relationship with someone who possesses a narcissist I itic spirit this same empathy can be used against you the Bible teaches us to be compassionate and to forgive Ephesians 4:32 but it also warns us about those who take
advantage of our kindness in screw tape letters Lewis says any small Association of people who come together due to interest that other men ignore or despise tends to develop within their Circle an intense Mutual admiration and also to generate a great amount of vanity and hatred towards the outside world which are fed without any shame because the cause is their guide and it is considered something impersonal this happens in relationships too however when the same interests come into conflict it is at this moment that narcissists reveal their true face in some such a relationship it
is common for you to repeatedly forgive the person for their harmful Behavior empathy which should be a force for good can become the horse that carries forgiveness to those who do not deserve it you may be led to forgive because you understand the person's history the difficulties they have faced and believe that this explains their behavior however this compassion no matter how well intentioned can be manipulated when you finally reach the point of saying enough it is common for this person to use your own empathy against you saying things like how could you leave me
how could you not forgive me you know what I have been through they use your compassion as a weapon to shame you and manipulate you into continuing to endure the abusive Behavior the Insidious part is that although one might think that the person who offers more sacrifice more compassion and empathy would be treated better it is often the opposite as it says in Matthew 7 six do not give dogs what is sacred do not throw your pearls to pigs if you do they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces
to a narcissist your empathy is not seen as a Beau ful and valuable quality on the contrary it is seen as a permission slip to continue behaving disrespectfully and selfishly they know that no matter how terrible their behavior is your empathy will forgive them in the end it is crucial to remember that true love and forgiveness do not imply tolerating sin and abuse Jesus teaches us to forgive but also to be wise and discern when our compassion is being used against us Matthew 10:16 Christian love calls us to love our neighbor but not at the
expense of our dignity and spiritual well-being second sign they can move on incredibly quickly after causing pain which may mean leaving you behind without hesitation think about the things this person has done to hurt you now as a mental exercise imagine imine you did any of those things to someone you love how long would it take you to recover from it how long would it take you to move on how difficult would it be for you to deal with the guilt shame or anxiety of having hurt someone you deeply care about now compare this with
the ease with which they move on Lewis tells us in Mere Christianity the point is that each person's pride is in competition with everyone else's Pride it's because I wanted to be the center of attention at the party that I get so annoyed when someone else is the center of attention Pride does not take pleasure in having something only in having more of it than the next person it is the comparison that makes you proud the pleasure of being above others and this is why many narcissists will never apologize and expect you to Simply move
on even when they apolog oliz they usually believe that after the apology the matter is closed if you still feel pain or sadness over what happened they become impatient or even angry why are we still talking about this I thought this was already over their response is devoid of true compassion as if what they did was not a big deal this does not mean they cannot initially kneel down or make Grand gestures to gain your forgiveness and avoid losing you however these gestures do not come from a place of true repentance or internal moral conflict
they simply want to restore the status quo so that their own needs can be met again in reality for them there is nothing to move on from because there was no genuine repentance in Proverbs 4:16 we are warned about those who cannot sleep unless they have caused harm to someone they are consumed by their own wickedness the ease with which they move on does not reflect the seriousness of what they have done but rather the absence of empathy and compassion in their hearts do not let this ease make you doubt the seriousness of what was
done Jesus teaches us to forgive but also to be wise and not allow evil to be continually repeated in our lives Matthew 18151 17 the third sign that you are or have been with someone with a narcissistic spirit is how quickly and coldly this person can discard you when the relationship ends in Mere Christianity leis says what makes a proud man take your girl from you not because he wants her but just to prove to himself self that he is a better man than you in this case she is being used as an object to
satisfy another person's ego and sometimes it is this type of situation that brings two narcissists together as she believes that the man is a better person believes you for him and he proves himself better than you this is a shocking realization that is part of a series of painful truths that come to light in a relationship with a narcissist many people believe that even after the relationship ends The Narcissist will continue to try to maintain some sort of connection but what happens is that they can cut off all ties as if you never existed this
only changes if they can still extract something from you such as validation or adoration the moment you establish boundaries and ref used to be their supply they discard you completely for those who have invested so much in a relationship whether by building a life together creating a family or sharing years of History this ability to cut ties so quickly is deeply disorienting it is as if everything you believed about the relationship was an illusion which can be the final blow like gaslighting that makes you question if everything was just a figment of your imagination however
despite the pain it is essential to remember that the love you felt was real even if the relationship was not what you thought it was your feelings were genuine the good news is that this love this ability to love is still with you no one can take that away from you and now you can direct that love to to a place where it will truly be deserved Lewis tells us the real test is this suppose you read a story of horrible atrocities in the newspaper then suppose something comes up suggesting that the story might not
be quite true or not quite as bad as it seemed is your first feeling thank God even they aren't quite so bad as that or is it a feeling of disappointment and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies are as bad as possible if it is the second then I am afraid it is the first step in a process that if followed to the end will make us into devils in other words something inside us the resentment the feeling that once Revenge must simply be eliminated
no matter what stage of life you are in it is never too late to redirect that love to something that will flourish and bring Beauty to you and those who truly matter the Bible teaches us in 1 Corinthians 137 that love always protects always trusts always hopes always perseveres this verse reminds us that true love the love that comes from God is patient and enduring even if you have suffered in a relationship marked by illusion and selfishness know that there is still hope of finding true love a love that reflects the care and faithfulness that
God has for us now you have the opportunity to direct your love to where it will be valued and where it can grow and bear fruit in your life the fourth sign that you are in a relationship with someone who possesses a narcissistic spirit is that even in your worst moments when you need support the most this person abandons you in screw tape letters Lewis has a phrase that applies both to people and to God but irreverence is the best of all among flippant people the joke is always assumed to have been made no one
actually makes it but every serious subject is discussed in a manner which implies that they have already found a ridiculous side to it even in these situ situations they will ridicule the situation because only their own problems matter this sign is perhaps the most devastating as it completely challenges reality and changes the perception you had of the person you are dealing with even if you have seen consistent bad behavior over time there may be something inside you that still believes that if you were really in trouble this person would be there to help you after
all you think we've been together for so long we've been through so much I sacrific so much for them I was always there for them we're Partners we love each other at the end of the day we're there for each other however this belief is often not tested until something truly terrible happens it could be a financial crisis a health diagnosis or an emotional or family breakdown it is in this moment when you most need a Lifeboat that the truth is revealed they are not there instead of offering support they remain indifferent or come up
with excuses the reality is is that you cannot really know how far this person will go to abandon you in the most crucial moments until those devastating moments happen for many people this is the moment of true realization a point of no return they will never forget that when they were drowning the person they trusted did not save them this truth is impossible to ignore it's as if suddenly you realize that you are in a relationship with someone who is in a way an alien someone who does not operate under the same laws and principles
as you often we make the mistake of believing that when things really go wrong this person will behave like us but the truth is they will never act like us because they do not follow the same moral and spiritual principles the Bible warns us about trusting people who have no commitment to good reminding Us in Jeremiah 17 five cursed is the man who trusts in man who draws strength from Mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord in moments of Despair we need to place our trust in God because only he is faithful
and will never abandon us Deuteronomy 31:6 when you realize that someone you are with does not operate under the same laws of love and compassion this realization can be painful but also liberating it is a call to seek the true peace and security that can only be found in God who never leaves us nor forsakes us never be ashamed for feeling foolish when you realize the truth about someone who let you sink even afterwards it can be difficult to understand how this person was capable of it but this difficulty reflects your character and goodness showing
that you are different your inability to comprehend their cruelty reveals a Compassionate Heart aligned with God's values of Love do not feel guilty but see this as confirmation that you possess a generous spirit that must be protected and preserved fifth sign it is common for a person with narcissistic traits to have moments where they seem amazing despite all the suffering they cause in screw tape letters Lewis says cruelty is shameful unless the cruel man can represent it as a practical joke that is they use humor as a tactic to mask morally questionable behaviors even after
so much pain betrayal and the times when they invalidate your feelings or make you question reality there may be moments when they come home and show themselves to be kind loving and exactly what you have always wanted in those moments you may think finally this is it they can be what I always wanted and then you begin to try to maintain this Behavior believing that if you can you will have the relationship of your dreams however it is crucial to remember that a narcissist can seem Charming when all their needs have been met when they
feel validated adored and do not need anything more in those moments they can be wonderful but this kindness is conditional on their own needs being fully satisfied the real danger reveals itself when they need to meet their needs because it is then that their true nature manifests we can compare this situation to a broken clock a broken clock is right twice a day but it is wrong most of the time in the same way do not confuse brief moments of happiness with a healthy relationship God created us to be loved valued and cherished at all
times not just in fleeting moments remember the words of one Corinthians 13 47 which describe true love patient kind not self-seeking and never fails this is what we should seek in our relationships not just moments of temporary relief the sixth sign that you are in a relationship with someone who possesses a narcissistic Spirit when they are caught red-handed they make excuses so absurd that they seem unbelievable but somehow we may still end up believing them in screw tape letters Lewis says thus while being disloyal to at least two groups of people he will feel instead
of Shame a great sense of self-satisfaction imagine you find clear evidence that this person is cheating on you for example you see incriminating messages on their phone and their immediate reaction is something like what are you doing on my phone this is my private life and has nothing to do with you suddenly you find yourself in a situation where instead of confronting them about the Betrayal you are defending yourself for invading their privacy as if you were the guilty one this type of behavior reminds us of oam's Razor which teaches us that the simplest explanation
is usually the correct one if you found evidence of infidelity the most likely explanation is that there was indeed betrayal however the narcissist reverses this logic offering a narrative so complex and ridiculous that it ends up making you doubt your own reality they create a version of events where somehow they are innocent and worse still you are the aggressor this Behavior can be compared to a version of Murphy's Law excuses where any possible excuse will be invented even those that seem impossible to create in fact the more absurd the excuse the more it reveals about
the nature of the person you are dealing with not about the reality of the facts Jesus warns us in Matthew 7:15 about false prophets who come to us disguised inwardly they are ferocious wolves in the same way a narcissist can try to manipulate the truth distorting the fact so surely that you begin to question your own perception remember if the excuses seem absurd it is a strong indication that you are dealing with someone who has no commitment to the truth but rather to maintaining their own image at any cost do not be deceived by the
tricks of those who try to mask the truth with elaborate and implausible excuses seventh sign they can show emotion but that emotion does not come from the same place as ours in screw tape letters Lewis says on the other hand it is easy to manipulate fear when the patient's thoughts are diverted from the cause of his fear to fear itself considered as an undesirable state of mind we can therefore formulate a general rule in all mental activities that favor our cause encourage the patient not to focus on himself but rather to focus on the object
but in all activities that favor the enemy make his mind focus on itself in this excerpt screw tape encourages the person to f Focus only on themselves besides being a narcissistic behavior this leads you away from God because the more you focus solely on yourself the less you will think of our lord well when we threaten to leave someone like this and see their tears we may be tempted to think maybe they are like me look how much pain they are feeling now however although the tears may be real they are not for you but
for themselves they feel sadness because they are losing something important to them not because you are suffering when we feel pain it is usually because we recognize that we hurt someone and feel guilt or remorse their pain however is centered on what they lost not on the harm they caused Jesus teaches us in Matthew 5 eight that blessed are the pure in heart for they they will see God we must seek purity of heart which shows compassion for others rather than an emotion that only focuses on itself therefore do not confuse tears that are about
themselves with tears that genuinely care about you after knowing these signs my dear brothers and sisters feel free to share your feelings and anxieties in the comments don't forget to subscribe like and and share to help our Channel now I would like to invite everyone to join in prayer so that our thoughts requests and feelings reach our Lord pray with us or simply listen to this wonderful prayer Lord God creator of the heavens and the Earth we come before you in humility and reverence recognizing our desperate need for your wisdom and guidance in every decision
we make in our lives especially in matters of the heart father we know that our relationships are precious in your eyes and that love should be built on Truth faithfulness and purity of heart we ask Lord that you guide us with discernment and wisdom as we choose whom to love and with whom to share our lives give us the clarity we need to perceive when we are in a relationship that does not honor you a relationship where dissimulation and pretense take the place of honesty and authenticity Deliver Us oh God from getting involved with those
who like wolves in sheep's clothing pretend to be something they are not and teach us to recognize the narcissistic spirit that seeks only self-benefit without regard for others merciful father we place before you those people who even without realizing it cause us pain and suffering we pray that you may touch their hearts open their eyes to the truth and bring genuine repentance into their lives may your Holy Spirit Guide them on the path of righteousness so they may abandon lies and manipulations and instead seek the healing and transformation that only you can offer Lord Heal
the wounds of our souls restore our joy and give us the strength to live fully when we feel destroyed by pain and abandonment renew in US hope and the will to live may your love flood our hearts bringing back the days of joy and peace we once knew beloved father we ask that you bless us with the capacity to love as you love but also give us the wisdom to distance ourselves from Evil may we be compassionate but also firm in defending our dignity and spiritual well-being and in the midst of all trials may we
always remember that true love comes from you and only you never abandon us we praise and thank you in the name of Jesus Christ Our Savior amen I would like to thank everyone who reached the end of this video and prayed with us we are very happy to be part of your daily life and that you enjoy our videos so much may God bless each one of you and your families see you in the next video
