how to MAKE FRIENDS EASILY *from an introvert* ( healthy friendships, red flags more )

The Last 5 Years I didn't really have solid friendships and it broke my heart I always wanted those solid genuine friendship connections or the group of friends where you go and do activities together and have little dinner dates and stuff but instead I had friends that fluctuated that started off really really strong and then fizzled out eventually I had long distance friends but obviously they're not face to- face friends and that does make a difference love my long distant Bessie are like love you guys and I was was dealing with a massive friendship breakup that

ruined me from the inside out and I felt hopeless you know I was like I can there's no way I can get married because I don't have the Bridesmaids you know like who am I going to invite my mom but right now sitting here I am finally in a place where I can say that the friends that I have dreamed of are the friends that I have right now they're all so supportive and genuine they're so uplifting and support my dreams without me even trying like I'll have friends be like I saw your YouTube video

and I'm like I love you if you told me 5 years ago that I had all this I would not believe you I would laugh in your face and be like that's not me but it is me so in today's video I am going to be giving you guys all the tips and Essentials you need to make your friends the green flags to look out for and also the red flags to avoid and run very far away from and also how to maintain these friends because that is obviously very important so stick around for the

whole video so you can start making your dream friendsday also be sure to subscribe down below and click the Bell notification so you don't miss out on me every Sunday and I also wanted to pitch an idea to you guys would you love it if I did like a hotline series on my channel where you guys send in questions I answer them in like a big sister kind of vibe like would you guys love that please let me know cuz I kind of want to do it I think it would be fun everything starts with

you and you're probably rolling your eyes and being like oh I've heard this a million times over but for real my inspiration I guess it's myself it's myself learning to be okay with your alone time and learning some self-love practices truly goes a long way and it is honestly so vital to having good solid connections and you're in luck because I've already made a whole video all about this and what you have to do pause this video I'll wait I'll be [Music] here okay let's continue on the second step to making friends is to actually

evaluate the Inner Circle that you have currently right now like what is the situation here like do you have one or two friends that are really really good you have people around you that kind of like friends they're more so acquaintances are you keeping toxic people around because you're too afraid to be alone like what is your situation what's going on your inner circle has a massive impact on who you are as a person as well as how you view the world around you when I was in the wrong Circle surrounded by negative toxic people

who judged others had no aspirations other than gossiping you know really small town Vibes I also had that negative toxic mindset and I didn't want to reach any of my aspirations I didn't want to do anything out of my comfort zone because I saw the people that I viewed as friends judging people that would be doing that I was like well I don't want to be judged why would I ever do that when you hate the idea of being in your own company you will want to fill that void with anyone hi Amy and I

mean anybody whether it's a toxic person a person that is so bad for you like whatever it may be because you are too afraid to be alone you're also stopping yourself from creating solid Connections in the future genuine friendships because you are just surrounding yourself with just company that's it not friends just company to fill the void and it is so not worth it you are just destroying yourself right there and then it is so much better to be alone and enjoy your alone time than to be in the wrong company and feel even more

alone sometimes you have to deal with the alone period of your life where you grow and figure yourself out before you can have the thriving genuine friendships that you are so desperately craving as they say it gets worse before it gets better and it's so true like I hate that saying so much because it is so true you have a crumb on your head says a crumb we go I got it you're welcome now before we get into how to actually make friends we need to get over the Friendship trauma that has been dealt to

us on a silver platform we have all experienced friendship breakups the friend that broke our hearts and we've also experienced the friends that stabbed us right in the back multiple times right in the middle and it is terrifying trying to make friends with those past experiences in the back of your mind like I get it it's freaking terrifying but Bessie let me tell you something okay let me tell you something tell you something let me tell you something let me tell you something you should never let the trauma of bad friendships stop you from finding

your people I'm going to come from a personal view here but I have spoken into people and friends in the past that don't want female friendships because they have had to deal with one or two snarky little snakes and the whole female population is now ruined for them it breaks my heart when they say that because as a girl having girl friendships is one of the most movie cliche magical experiences you can ever have it's almost like saying that you will never like dogs in your life because one scratched you one time I have a

scratch on my arm you see that one right there that was from my friend's puppy do I hate that puppy absolutely not I love him with my whole entire heart sit good boy good job the limitations you're giving yourself because of one experience it doesn't mean that every other experience is going to be like that one experience and it's actually doing more harm than protecting you because you are missing out on so many potential Beautiful Moments that one bad experience that you've had could have been because you were dating a lemon that had no respect

for you or you were just surrounded by the wrong people at the wrong time it could have been like a million different scenarios you should never let that stop you cuz guess what your circle in the future is never going to be like those people that you've experienced your future friends are going to be so genuine supportive and loyal to you they will uplift you and make you belly laugh so freaking hard that you're going to have abs by the end of that laughing session they will actively listen to you and be so involved with

your life in all the right ways that you will just be so happy how are we going to make that happen you know how are we going to find good people out of all of this trash in front of us you know like how do we do that just like relationships you are allowed to hold a high standard to your friendships as well you are allowed to have friends that you want let's talk about the green flags in friendships that you need to look out for in your future friendships because these people trustworthy friends I

think that's a given you deserve to have friends that you trust you trust that they're not going to stab you in the back and you also trust that they're not going to spill all of your secrets to any single ear that's going to listen to them trust is the foundation of everything pretty much and if you don't have trust that it's going to crumble so freaking fast so trustworthy friends we want that it's such a green flag when your energy is reciprocated reciprocated and that is a given as well you want friends that are going

to match your energy you want friends that are going to respect your time they're not going to leave you hanging they're not going to forget when you guys have a planned meet out session like if they can't make it they're going to let you know they are going to be there for you when you need them and they're not going to ditch you when they get into a new relationship or a new friendship group like you're still going to be friends they will want to hang out with you as much as you want to hang

out with them and it is the one flag that I need in my friendships like I need the energy to be reciprocated after hanging out with a friend you should feel energized uplifted inspired or at least happy that that interaction happened if you feel drained exhausted negative you don't feel good after hanging out with a person then obviously your energies do not align and that is completely okay like you're not supposed to get along with every single person you meet it just means that you guys weren't good for each other you can find another friend

amazing friends that are genuinely happy for you and I mean happy for you none of this fake stuff none of this jealousy or compet [ __ ] just genuine happiness oh my God that is the biggest green flag in a person ever like you can tell when someone's being fake absolutely like it's all over their face it's all in their attitude their tone like it is ick it's giving ick you deserve to have people in your life that are going to celebrate with you and celebrate you this one could be a bit more of a

personal one but they have other healthy friendships I've noticed that people that can't keep a healthy connection or that just don't have healthy friendships usually show why if you give them the chance and it's terrifying it just comes out of nowhere it's like oh my God what is this they have the same values and morals as you I think it's important to note that all friendships have differences and different likes and dislikes and it's so normal it's completely okay but having the same values and morals in your friendship I think is so important for example

if you love self-development and working on yourself you are going to get along with like-minded people and they're going to uplift you and you're going to Just Bounce of each other it's going to be amazing but you will not find that deep connection with a person that is is insecure has the victim mentality and doesn't want help at all it's not to say that you can't be friends with these people absolutely not but it's just going to be a lot more work and a lot more draining for you because someone who's trying to work on

themselves and then having a friend that constantly talks down on themselves it's a very different Dynamic and you'll be more drained than uplifted open and honest communication I think is the key you want friends with healthy forms of communication that's a bare minimum okay none of this gaslighting lying manipulation or just straight up ghosting [ __ ] okay none of that absolutely not confrontation and conflict is scary but it will resolve peacefully with a green flag bean and we love that we love that so much this one is a personal one but they say things

like drive safe text me when you're home and I think that is the sweetest thing ever like they're looking out for you and they want to make sure that you're safe and okay like I love those friends that is just a personal one for me but let's talk about the red flags in friendships because life is way too short to be dealing with people that don't show up for you that won't choose in a room full of people who treat you horribly or only on their own accord you deserve to have good friendship so if

you notice of any of these things in your inner circle I would definitely be evaluating that ASAP I mean you should have already cuz that was step two they tear you down in front of others to make themselves look good e they text other people while hanging out with you this has personally happened to me and it is such a [ __ ] alarm Bell I can't explain it especially if I haven't seen the person in a very long time and they're sitting there texting other people having you know conversations with other people why am

I here they talk about their other friends to you spoiler alert they are talking about you to other people as well a friend who refuses to go through with plans even after multiple attempts of trying to hang out this just seems so wrong like just say that you don't want to hang out with me like don't make plans if you don't want to hang out with me you know I get life gets in the way and things happen and you know sometimes you just can't explain yourself but every time they don't have any other healthy

friendships as I stated before it's a massive warning flag this one's pretty self-explanatory but people who comment on other people's appearances especially on things that cannot change like their teeth or their eyes or their nose like that kind of person is disgusting like I wouldn't want to touch that kind of person with a 10-ft pole a friendship where you have to walk on eggshells around them is not a good friendship at all it is so draining trying to please this person or not trigger them in any single way shape or form I've been there done

that and it is just so draining like you don't have to cut this person off but just a little bit of a wall between you and I friendships that are one-sided as [ __ ] this one is pretty self-explanatory but like so not worth it it so not worth it friends that have the victim mentality now this one can be different with different scenarios and stuff but basically it is the friend that always wants to complain about themselves never lets you talk about your issues absolutely not it's all about them and they don't want help

for their issues they just want to complain they just want to be the victim as they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink these are those friends and they are so draining friends that are fake happy for you as we talked about before absolutely not goodbye constant emotional drops AKA using you as a therapist I'm all for being the therapist friend I love giving advice but if they only come to me for help they only use me for help and I can't go to them for help that

is I see you later goodbye those are just some of the red flags that I look out for but there's so many more like people that talk bad about you people that treat you badly if there's any ouns of negativity from a friend you are more than welcome to evaluate that and find a new friend and one thing that I learned personally within my 5 years of spotty unreliable friendships if you go to close a door on a friend friendship but you keep it half open because you know you don't want to be a bad

person you don't want to be mean you don't want to be a [ __ ] there's going to be a new door ready to open with a new friend that's going to be freaking amazing for you but that door is not going to open until you actually close the door on the old friend that is giving you problems and drama and then once you close the door see you later this door is going to open and bam oh my God where'd you come from where has this person been my whole life it has happened to

me every single time I will be holding on a person with a string hoping that they get better or hoping that you know they stop flaking on me or they stop being a [ __ ] person and then eventually I close it cuz I get sick of it and then another door opens and wow where is this magical person come from and there's like a layers to friendships you know you either have your Forever Friends your seasonal friends or your lesson friends and you can never tell which friend is which but enjoying that moment and

enjoying the memories that you make with that friend either way is going to be so good if they turn out to be a forever friend amazing you've got these great memories still and if they become a seasonal friend that's still great still have made some memories you still got to meet this amazing person and if they become a lesson friend well then I guess that kind of sucks but you learn your lesson let me tell you how this introvert the embodiment of home body right here how did I make friends how did I make my

dream friends there are so many opportunities every single day every week every year for you to meet new potential besties and I think that is so exciting that gets me giddy I'm like oh a new friend that's so exciting and this is going to sound so cliche but you meet your friends when you least expect it it's just like a relationship they come out of nowhere and you're like where did you come from I just feel like you have to have an open mind when it comes to these things and expect the unexpected because you

could meet your new potential bestie at anywhere any time and it's so much easier now with social media because you know social media it wants you to be social it wants you to reach out and connect with people so in saying that let me tell you how you can make friends right now as well as how I made my friends with these doop points Bumble the dating app has a feature on it where you can actually connect with friends in your area and it's actually helped me connect with like-minded people so many times like Bumble

BFF has been a lifesaver for my introverted Soul most of them have fizzled out by now but still I made some really cool memories with some really cool people and I have also made a genuine bestie from bumblebee F I still talk to them they are still in my life I literally had lunch with them the other day and I've known them for 3 years now your partner I know it's a meme that nobody wants to hang out with their partner's friends partner that is such a bad weird mindset to have like why are you

closing off the opportunity to have a best friend because they are your partners friends partner like what is that I have met my greatest and bestest friends through Tyler whether that's been moving to his hometown and meeting his group of friends and their girlfriends and instantly clicking with those girls or to Tyler getting into a new hobby like football and me going to those football games and talking to people and now we're in a group of people that actually go and adventure together and have dinner together and it is a dream I love it all

because I started talking to people at a football game like you would not like I do not like sport what do you mean but guess what it got me a friendship group out of it now if you don't have a partner staying open-minded with your friends friends of friends could be your new potential bestie and you've just got to be open about it whether it's a birthday party or a dinner outing whatever it may be make some conversation and see what happens I actually met a great friend of mine at a friend's birthday dinner and

at the time I didn't know this great friend of mine obviously they were just a person sitting at the dinner table and their words not mine they were fangirling over me because they had seen my YouTube videos and we got talking and we instantly and now we're really good friends like it's crazy how that happened we talk about it all the time we're like remember that dinner party what the hell was that Snapchat now this is going to sound so stupid because I am a person that really despises Snapchat but as somebody that hates FaceTime

Snapchat has really opened up connections for me on like a really deep level and I really really enjoy it because you can just send videos back and forth to each other without dropping everything for a FaceTime call you still get that personal connection that you get with a face t- face interaction whereas if you text someone it's not the same and you know what I mean it's just it's never the same you can meet like-minded people at your job and I know you're there to work I know you're there to make money but if you

click with somebody chase that friendship and get to know them more you know make little jokes to them throughout the day about work or a shitty customer that you had to experience and nine out of 10 times you will deepen that connection by just talking to them I will just walk past them and make a silly little joke and they'll laugh and then they'll walk past me and make a silly little joke and it just it kind of happens until we get a quiet moment in the day and we can just talk to a heart's

content and I have made so many good friendships from work just by doing that I haven't done this personally but leaving your comfort zone and signing up to a class like yoga Pilates or even something completely different like a pottery class can open up so many opportunities for you to meet a new potential bestie just like school if it's a small connection of people you are going to mingle and talk and get to know them and eventually you could find a new potential bestie in that small little group of people joining Facebook groups with similar

interest now give me a moment give me give me a moment any interest you have there will be a Facebook page about it it doesn't matter what it is go on Facebook look up all your interests and join as many groups as you want to your heart's content and be active in the community and see what happens I've actually met one of my longest and closest friends from a Facebook girls group and it sounds so silly how we met there was a post from a girl being like drop your age your location and something about

yourself and let's make friends so people were commenting all the things about themselves and her comment just stood out to me it really resonated with me we had very similar likes we're in a similar location the same age and I was like I'm going to reach out to her I'm going to message her just on a whim and I messaged her on Facebook this was like 5 years ago now and we have spoken pretty much every single day since and when we met up for the first time 5 years ago it was not awkward at

all there was no awkward pauses we were just yapping each other's ears off like it was so cool it's amazing what face B can do I know we think it's for the Boomers and the memes but godamn there are some connections on there this one is more of a personal one because not every everybody has the confidence to make content or put themselves on the internet and that is completely okay since making content and YouTube videos I have met some amazing long-distant besties I've got a friend in Norway I've got a friend in America I've

got a friend in Canada and I've made so many friends here in Australia that I've actually met up with and they are so beautiful they are so amazing and it's so cool that me just making YouTube videos or me just uploading an Instagram photo really brought those connections alive and you don't even have to post content in order to make friends like if you see somebody online that you resonate with start commenting on their posts start liking their things also make the comments interesting make them funny make them really gorgeous beautiful make them stand out

in a way that the other comments aren't giving like don't just comment three heart emojis and expect them to jump into your DMs being like this is my person oh my God right now 10 times they're going to see you comment and they're already going to like you you're already a step ahead you just got to make that connection grow dming on Tik Tok or Instagram now this can sound daunting to some but honestly once you get over that wall that is stopping you from doing this there is so many connections out there for you

oh my god I've had people reach out to me personally just from a Tik Tok they seen of mine or a post I've made or even a story I've shared and they've really resonated with it and they'll tell me about their little experience or they'll make like a joke about it or something and we start talking and then bam it's been 3 months and we have a genuine beautiful connection as a fellow introvert I understand the limitation of a social battery but that doesn't stop you from having genuine connections and being a good friend every

introvert is different just like every person is different personally I'm the kind of introvert that needs to charge their social battery with alone time I need my alone time I need my Independence I also prefer one-on-one time instead of big group settings but I do appreciate a big group setting absolutely so now with that out of the way let me tell you how your little introverted Soul can maintain friendships communication is key I cannot stress that enough especially as an introvert because of our social battery and having friends that understand your social battery is really

nice but your social battery battery is not their responsibility I know it hurts so communicating and being open is needed here let me explain if you need a weekend to yourself or your friend invites you out somewhere and you don't want to go just say that like let them know how thankful you are for the invitation and you appreciate the thoughts so much but just this time around you really need some time to yourself just to recharge and good friend is going to be like yeah I understand absolutely a [ __ ] friend is going

to be like personally I always follow up with an open invitation for next time that way your friend knows that you're not actually just flaking out on them and you want to hang out just not this time around hey did you want to come to a paint and siip tonight I think you would really like it oh I would love that so much I really appreciate the thought but tonight I just really need to recharge I'm really tired but how about we do it next week as simple as that so simple yet so effective in

maintaining a friendship number two is to say yes to more opportunities if I turned my whole personality into me being an introvert I would never leave the house and I would say no to every single opportunity that arised and then I would have zero friends because obviously the energy needs to be reciprocated reciprocated instead challenging myself to say yes more times than I say no has actually been a game changer to not only my life but also maintaining my friendships I'll even go as far to say that I'm actually sad when the plans fall through

because I actually wanted to go to them I actually wanted to make some memories what do you mean you can't make it number three my Lord is to be open and vulnerable I really hope you guys got that you don't need to spill all of your deepest darkest Secrets but it is so important for a friendship to have that deep connection where you guys can be TMI and a little bit gross and a little bit you know so be willing to share a little bit more about yourself before the other person can this will set

the tone for the friendship and open up a more deeper connection and if you're anything like me you're an open book and this is easy for you but every time I do this with a new friend I can see that they loosen up a little bit and they become more welcoming and it's just an overall really good vibe to have in a friendship number four be approachable put the resting [ __ ] face away put it away and put a smile on the dial because if you see two people sitting side by side one with

a resting [ __ ] face and one with a little smile on their face which one are you going to be drawn to more you're always frowning avoiding contact with people and crossing your arms in public sticking to the corner of the room so that you don't have to talk to anybody chances are no one is going to approach you for a friendship because you look like that instead smile at new potential friends compliment them uncross those arms I know you're shy you're not going to make friends when you look like that in the corner

okay it's not going to happen learning how to carry a conversation is probably easy for me to say because that is what I do for work that is what I do right now I have to carry a conversation with myself I grew up as an only child and I was shy and introverted I was a triple whammy okay that but if I wanted to make friends I was going to have to overcome those three things and learn how to communicate and actually carry a conversation so here's some tips I've learned always ask questions this is

a massive one to carrying the conversation because if you feel like the conversation is dulling just ask them a question just ask them a question about what they have spoken about or just ask them about something on them like I actually love your necklace I've been been staring at it this whole time where did you get it and there you go there's another conversation leading away when you ask questions it tells your friend that you have actively been listening to them and you're actually engaged in what they're saying and they're going to feel so good

about it they're going to be like this person is actually interested in what I have to say I'm going to keep this person around amazing another great way to carry a conversation is to compliment them this is even a great conversation starter if you don't know somebody because this can just easily spiral into a million different things because you start off with a compliment for example I really like your top I love the color on you where did you get it so simple as that and then they're going to talk about the store that they

got it from oh I actually got this from Kmart it was like $6 and you'll be like I love Kmart and you can just spiral it on you just keep on going and then you can kind of connect it later on and be like we should so do a Kmart date together that would be so much fun and Bam there's a new Kmart bestie for you how good is that for example I had lunch at a cafe the other day and the waitress had these beautiful sticker sleeve tattoos so when she came over to check

if our meal was okay I was like by the way I love your tattoos I am obsessed with them I love that fine line Style and she was like oh these I actually just got them done like the other day and I was like no way did you go to Melbourne because obviously all the Fine Line artists are in Melbourne she's like no it was a local artist from this place here and she like pulled up her Instagram and she showed me and I was like what I had no idea and it just spired into

us talking about future tattoo plans and every time she walked past the table she'd catch my eye and we would start talking about tattoos again like it was just so cool it might seem scary especially to a shy person but as soon as you overcome that fear and you start complimenting people it is going to open up a world of opportunities for you and then lucky last for my conversation continuers is to Deep dive into that said Common Ground so if you find a topic that you and your friends love talk about it in a

really slow manner like there's no rush you don't need to end the conversation straight away and then on to the next topic stay with that topic ask more questions about it really dive deep into that topic because if they're enjoying it you're enjoying it what can go wrong last but not least on how to maintain the Friendship is to honestly just be yourself like let your friends know what you enjoy how you need time to re-energize and how some activities exhaust you like if you're just so open about that because that is who you are

as an introvert you know we get exhausted easily and honestly if your friends don't love you for who you are then they are not your friends they are not your circle when now that you've got all these tips and tricks up your sleeves I want you to go out there and start making friends download Bumble BFF go and join those Facebook pages talk to the friends that you already have in an indepth deep conversation Snapchat them a video of you talking about what happened in your day you were about to go and make the best

friends of your life and I'm so excited for you I'm very excited for my new um era yes I am it's been a very very long time coming anyway I'm going to leave you now because you have some friends to go and make don't forget about me though I am still your bestie so don't forget to like And subscribe down below so you see me every Sunday we have a date every Sunday Manu don't forget [Music] it you