So, you have a Star Wars sequel for me? Yes, sir, I do. So, in the opening text crawl, we're going to find out that Palpatine is alive again, and he sent out a transmission to everybody.
Oh, Palpatine is back. How is that possible? Well, the dark side is a pathway to many abilities some would consider unnatural.
Oh, very vague. What does that mean? It means get all the way off my back about this and don't bring it up again.
Oh, okay. Let me get off of that thing. So, it turns out he was pulling the strings this whole time like he created Snoke.
Seriously? Yep. We just We didn't see him cuz he was in a basement with strobe lights.
It's so strange that we never hinted at this at all whatsoever in any way. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Pretty crazy. But this was this was always the plan, was it, though? I mean I mean, yeah.
I wouldn't start a trilogy without a road map, you know? I wouldn't I didn't do that. Well, okay then.
So, what happens in this thing? Well, you know how in The Last Jedi, we found out that Ray's parents are nobody, right? Yeah.
Between that and the broom kid, it seemed like maybe we were going for like a hopeful message, like the Force can be with anyone. You don't have to be related. Well, it turns out that Ry is Palpatine's granddaughter.
Oh, she is. >> Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Pretty cool, right? >> So, that means that Palpatine has gotten, you know, intimate.
>> Oh my god. Yeah. No, I guess it does.
Oh, no. Oh, no. No.
No. No. Oh, I'm picturing it.
So am I. And I hate it. Do it.
Oh, he for sure said that. Okay, maybe we can move on. I would literally love nothing more.
So, what happens in the movie? Well, the good guys want to get to Palpatine, but to do that, they need to get a thing. Okay, but to get that thing, they're going to have to go to a place and get another thing and go to another place and get another thing.
Okay, kind of sounds like a lot of fetch quests like in a video game. Well, people love video games. That's a good point.
Video games make money. So, where do they go? Well, they go to Burning Man and they meet Lando Calissian, remember?
He's from the other movies. He is. And he's like, I have a bad feeling about this.
He says the thing. He says it and then the good guys are going to get chased by stormtroopers and end up in a tunnel. Uh-oh.
That's not good. Actually, it is because they find a dagger that's a clue to the exact thing they're looking for. Oh, wow.
What are the odds of ending up in that exact spot after a chase? Astronomical. But this is space, so that's okay.
Can't argue with that. So anyway, then Ray heals a giant snake, and they get out of there. She heals a snake.
What are you talking about? Well, you can heal people and animals by giving them some life force or something, I decided. Oh, suddenly deciding that the force can do things is tight.
It is. So anyway, this dagger has Sith writing on it that only C-3PO can understand, but he can't translate. Why?
Because of his programming, but actually, why? To extend the plot a little. Okay, gotcha.
So they need to go to this other planet to translate it, but Chewy gets captured. Oh no. Yeah, and he's been taken away on a ship, but Ry accidentally blows it up.
Oh my god, she kills Chewbacca. That's such a powerful, shocking moment. I can't believe it.
Well, that's good cuz it doesn't actually happen. What? Well, I want this film to have impactful moments, but I don't really want to deal with the actual impact, so I'll usually, you know, undo them immediately.
Oh, really? Yeah. So, Chewbacca blows up, but it turns out he was on another ship, so it's okay.
>> Okay. C3PO has his memory wiped and has to say bye to his friends, but R2 has a backup, so it's okay. Ray stabs Kylo Ren, but then heals him, so it's okay.
>> Could have been an interesting one. >> A planet blows up, but the characters we know get off it somehow, so it's okay. >> Wow.
So, not really many consequences at all. Well, when Luke said no one's ever really gone in the last movie, I really took that to heart as, you know, a storytelling device. >> Yeah, sure seems that way.
Yeah. So, both Luke and Han are going to come hang out a bit, too. Sure, why not?
So, anyway, then they're going to go to another planet to meet a Power Ranger that Po used to date and a little alien dude named Baboo Frick. Oh, what's his deal? Oh, well, he's just the cutest little merchandising opportunity.
I love it. So, then they go rescue Chewy and they get helped by Hux cuz it turns out he's a spy now. Oh, interesting.
It'll be cool to see how that plays out through the movie. Oh, no. He dies right away.
Oh, he does. Yeah. Well, see, in The Last Jedi, we turned him into a little baby boy.
So, I had to replace him with somebody intimidating. If you say so. I do.
So, then the good guys go to another planet and discover that the dagger points at a thing they need to get to go to a place. >> What? The dagger tells them where to go?
>> Yeah. It turns out that somebody made this thing. So, if you stand in a very specific spot and point it at the Death Star wreckage, it shows you where you need to go.
And they just happen to be standing in that specific spot. And they just happen to be standing in that specific spot. Wow.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
So, then Ray finds this GPS thing that she needs, but then she's confronted by an evil version of herself for about 10 seconds. What? Why does that happen?
So, we can show it in the trailer. That's smart. So, then Ray and Kylo Ren have a fight and Finn is also there for some reason.
Oh, yeah. What's Finn up to in this movie? Well, he's going to be there for sure.
That sounds good to me. He's also going to meet some other ex stormtroopers that defected, too. Oh, that's good.
Drving home the fact that stormtroopers are like real people, you know. Exactly. And Finn's also going to kill a bunch of stormtroopers.
Oh, he is. Yeah, he's pretty good at it now. But I guess he has no choice, right?
So, it's like a somber moment when he has to do it. I don't know. He shouts woo a lot when he kills them.
Wow. I don't know how this guy feels about stormtroopers. Unclear, sir.
He also has a big secret he's about to tell Ray when he thinks they're going to die. Oh, what is it? >> I don't know.
Fair enough. And what about Rose? What about her?
Well, I mean, she was a major player in the last movie. Her and Finn kissed at the end of it, right? Yeah.
But she has to study. So, she has to study. Yeah.
I mean, she would have gone on the adventure, but she has like a lot of studying to do. Well, okay then. And what about Ma's Canada?
Are we going to get answers? >> Answers about what? Well, in the Force Awakens, Han asked how she got Luke's lightsaber, and she was like, "Good question for another time.
" Oh, yeah. Well, that is a good question for sure. >> Yeah, but like probably best for another time.
Did you forget to pay that off? >> I forgot to pay that off. >> That's okay.
It happens. I mean, a lot. So, anyway, then Ray's going to go confront Palpatine on this planet called Exag.
Okay. And the resistance are going to fight a massive fleet of star destroyers. How did Palpatine build so many star destroyers and and staff them?
By being offcreen for several movies. That works for me. So, what ends up happening on Testicle Exagle?
What did I say? Well, Palpatine is like, you know, Ray, if you kill me, my spirit's going to take over your body. I guess that can be a thing.
And then Ben shows up and Palpatine's like, ooh, a force diad. A force diad. A force diad.
So then he turns into a dementor and starts sucking the life out of them. So stuff is just kind of happening, huh? Stuff's just kind of happening.
So then he throws Ben off a cliff thing. Uhoh. And then everything's just going awful.
I mean, there are way too many enemies in the space battle. Oh man, it's going to be tough for the resistance to win now. Actually, it's going to be super easy.
Barely an inconvenience. Oh, really? Yeah, cuz see, just when it seems like all hope is lost, Falcon's going to be like on your left.
And a bunch of heroes show up. What? Sorry.
Lando's going to be like, "We're here. " And a bunch of heroes show up. Oh, very cool.
And then Palpatines's going to use lightning to attack Ray. And he's going to be like, "I am all the Sith. " Wow.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
And then Tony's going to be like, "And I am Iron Man. " What? Sorry.
Ray's going to be like, "And I am all the Jedi. " I love it. Yeah.
And so he's shooting lightning at her and she's blocking it with a lightsaber. Yeah. Yeah.
And they're struggling. But then she uses two lightsabers and that does the trick. He gets hit with his own lightning.
Couldn't he have just stopped shooting the lightning? Yeah. But he doesn't.
That's kind of his thing. It does seem to be. That guy zaps himself a lot.
So then Ray dies. Oh, okay. But then it turns out Ben isn't dead cuz falling off of things doesn't really mean anything in Star Wars.
And then he transfers some life force to Ray so she wakes up. Wow. They should kiss.
What? They should have a little kissy kiss. I don't really know that there was like a romantic make them kiss.
Okay. Yeah. So they kiss and and then he dies.
Oh, he dies. Well, yeah. He transferred the last of his life force to her.
Oh, so she can like transfer it back to him now. Well, yeah, but she doesn't. Oh, savage.
So then all the good guys are going to have a big party. Very fun. and Lando and this extor Stormtrooper girl talk about how she doesn't know where she's from and he's going to be like, "Well, let's find out.
" So, what does that mean? Unclear, sir. Either a spin-off adventure or he's going to hook up with somebody 55 years younger than him.
Wow. Well, that's either exciting or gross. Potentially both.
So, what do you think overall? Well, it sounds great. But one thing's kind of bugging me.
What's that, sir? Well, you said that Palpatine like transmits a message. I just wish we could hear what it was.
Oh, yeah. I actually had a pretty cool idea about that. Oh, you did?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Have you heard of Fortnite? What? Hey guys, it's Ryan here.
Hope you like that Pitch Meeting. There are over 100 episodes of Pitch Meeting on the channel that you could check out. I also have some other videos on there, so click around.
Also, let me know in the comments section what other movies you'd like to see these pitches for. Don't forget to hit the like button, the subscribe button, the bell button, the button button. I don't know.
Thanks for watching, guys. I'll see you next time.
