Jocko Podcast 461: A Reflection On Growing Up With Jocko as A Father. w Rana Willink

This is Joo podcast number 461 with Eko Charles and me Joo willink good evening Ekko good evening it was a good test it was a good way to figure out who really had the will to win and I'd already put them through some Paces in the morning with your standard Sprints and jumps and push-ups and Buddy carries and made him hit the surf and get wet and run a little bit more and All that kind of stuff you know what I mean I had tested them with some complicated instructions and various physical mental task that

required leadership and memory and attention to detail this kind of stuff right and so then as I'm really trying to parse out who wanted Victory I came up with another test and this wasn't a complicated test I told them what they had to do was Swim across the river this river is down by the ocean swim across the river go get the biggest possible rock that they could carry and then swim back and whoever could put their rock at my feet whichever Rock was the biggest would win and I figured it was a good test

of more than strength I wasn't really thinking about that or endurance I wasn't really thinking about that I was thinking of a good ability to adapt because if you're going to carry a rock In one hand you're going to have to adjust your swimming technique and whoever could adapt and keep up their speed on their swimming would be able to win so I gave them the the starting command which is standby bust them and off they ran and they all sprinted into the water you know ankle deep and then waist deep and then chest deep

and then cuz you know the river gets deeper and then it got to the Deep part so then They all start swimming [Music] across I don't know how far it was maybe the the the width of the rivers 35 yards or something like that M there's probably about 20 yards in the middle that's too you know that's above 6 feet uh deep and so I'm watching and they they get across the river and they're waiting out the other side and they come up on the other side and I was watching them and they were all

kind of Picking up they rocks and heading back towards the water like a tennis ball size rock or maybe a baseball siiz rock or maybe a softball siiz Rock and then they were all heading back into the water but there was one individual who was looking around and picked up a big a big giant monster Rock had to lift it like Sumo style deadlift you know what I'm saying like uh Strongman Competition style it took Two hands and kind of wrapped around and picked it up it was was certainly too big to be carried with

only one hand and definitely you could not swim with this thing so I thought to myself there's a going to be some lessons learned for this individual not maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed but I watched and and I see that competitor right and I see a look of determination as they walked back toward the river deeper and you Know ankles and then knees and then waist and then chest now I'm thinking I'm getting a little curious you know you start paying attention when you see someone that's doing something totally different and I

I I'm a I'm a waterman right I know that it is not possible to swim with this rocket is not especially because you can't use your hands yeah maybe if you could tie it onto yourself you could tread water for a moment but even that I Don't think you could actually do it m so I didn't really think that this competitor was going to be able to pull this off seemed like the like I said the bad judgment was going to come into play and they'd get to learn a lesson but they kept walking shoulder

deep the neck deep and then chin deep and then submerged and I saw like the the crown of the head the scalp just disappear underwater being weighed down by the by The Rock and some Time went by and you could see like little bubbles like a little Trail and as the time passed I thought well they're going to be running out of breath soon and right around that time um right as I started to get a little a little bit concerned suddenly a face broke the surface of the water momentarily and grabbed a big freaking

gasping breath of air and then went back under and it was it was real obvious That they had pushed themselves off the river bed M and grabbed the breath and then sank back down and kept walking and then that happened again another desperate but determined face breaching the surface and stealing a breath and then disappearing Into the Depths once again and but they were making progress mhm and after maybe the fourth one it seemed okay they're going to pull this off and it was a long slog um but you know they drove on and This

individual didn't really seem to care too much about the pain and the discomfort and they moved closer and closer and finally their head came out of the water and by this time many of the other competitors had made it to me cuz they were kind of swimming um and they'd P Place their I'll say their humble rocks at my feet you know the little apple sized Rock maybe a maybe the biggest about a grapefruit size maybe two three lbs sure And then came the determined human lumbering out of the water with a 60 or 70

lb Rock um a colossal Stone cradled in her arms like a big mass of depleted uranium uh she came over to me dropped the boulder at my feet and looked at me and smiled because she knew she had won and we both knew that it wasn't even close and so I called the attention of The other competitors probably about I don't know maybe 15 girls between the ages of 7 and 10 all from all family friends of or or friends of my family that we were all camping at the beach and I told them that

the winner by a long shot was R willink my daughter and she smiled and I smiled too I think she was probably seven or eight years old at this time and this was one of the very one of the first and most Profound indicators of her level of determination in life and she continued on that path of determination pushing herself getting better and she's always done that with a smile on her face and it's an honor to have her here with us tonight to share some stories of Life her life her struggles her lessons and

hopefully allow me to share some of mine as well Rana willink thanks for joining us hello thanks for having Me you are you are a a tough little kid in the river how come you wanted to win so bad no clue I just did do you remember that pretty yeah I remember it yeah we my dad used to make us do all these like Evolutions at sjo uh place where we camped with a bunch of family friends and made us carry like our little mini blowup boat on our heads and go down to the river

it was fun it is fun oh All right let's go back let's go back before that what is your what is the first thing that you remember of life um first thing I've remember from Life mhm I don't know like there I I remember Elementary School a lot growing up in Ocean Beach and with my two other siblings at the time and um going to elementary school MH being like Super um know it all and annoying in like grades one through four like if I got a if I got a question wrong on the multiplication

test I would cry like I was such I just wanted do you remember your shy face do you remember that um yeah I do definitely CU When when you were really little you were really extremely shy and so when anyone would come over to talk to any of our family you would hide behind mom's legs you'd hide because you were super Shy uh I don't know if this had anything to do with it but at one point your older sister cut your hair you know kind of off she cut all my hair off she cut

your hair kind of off and um you know you had long hair and then I don't know where your mom and my wife I don't know where she was but your sister Freya got out scissors and decided to style your hair and so you just kind of cut it off well yeah and I Would do anything she told me to do because it was my older sister uhhuh so she said we're cutting your hair I was like all right guess we're doing it uh you the other thing that's interesting I remember there was a we

we had there was some kind of a party at the Seal team and um one of my my platoon Chief at the time who's a great friend of mine who I'd known since I was at team one back In the day and he he he was married and he had one kid and his and he showed up at this party and his daughter was like the cutest little thing and her hair was braided and there was ribbons in her hair I think they were like white and pink ribbons in her hair and they matched her

skirt and her skirt matched her shoes and she just was cute as a button and then we pull Up and it our family our children look like feral animals like no first of all my son didn't wear shoes he rarely ever wore a shirt and he just wore swim trunks and these are like Navy Exchange swim trunks or or uh Target swim trunks you know just that was what he would wear uh my my oldest daughter would wear a ballerina what is it called a tutu yeah she'd wear a pink tutu like this is just

what she was wearing and then you would Wear a a leotard um all the time and the thing is everyone's like all these pieces of clothing were grimy like dirty so nasty so nasty and it wasn't even my wife would wash them but they were just stained and it was like I think I think the attitude for my wife was instead of being like no you have to like put this on no you need to no you look she was just okay if that's what you want to wear cool whatever I got Three freaking kids

below the ages of six like I'm over it you know we whatever you wear whatever you want and so yeah you you kids definitely grew and it was pretty wild scene but that was the first time I was like oh if you saw my family from if you didn't know anything you'd be like damn these people fell in some hard times bro you know what I'm saying so so um that's kind of the early the Early kids now you mentioned um camping up at sanjo that's Something that we did every summer for between a week

and two weeks which is awesome yeah and a lot of times I don't know if you remember this I would have to work yeah yeah so I would just go to work cuz it's it's an extra whatever half an hour to get to work but the funny thing is Echo Charles is this campsite like if you think you're quote going on vacation you might think you go somewhere that's far away no dude this is 20 minutes from our house but Everyone would go and um it would just be chaos and awesomeness for a week to

two weeks uh son everyone just get Annihilation sunburns chaing chafing everywhere from just all day in the water um you know the feet would be annihilated and but it was cool it was awesome did you enjoy Santa L Hill yeah I feel like when we were coming up with things to talk about that's like the most that's like the place where I have the most memories like as a whole family MH cuz everything was just like everything was so chaotic at our house that it was a place where we all went and we all just

had to be there there was no like ballet lessons to go to no gymnastics none of that so and I don't really remember you leaving to work MH I think we were probably just down at the beach the entire time you were working but yeah I don't I I feel like all of my good memories with like my childhood friends and the fam was all there yeah We did tent camping and then we graduated to a popup trailer you know what that is eeko M it's like the one that looks flat and then you unlatch

it all and it kind of Pops out yeah yeah and then eventually God bless we got the The Lazy Days which was a real RV a Class C RV and it was funny because I don't know I think I paid like like I don't know $8,300 for it bro you know what I'm Saying but it was fire oh yeah it was so cool so wait the tent so when you're talking tents right there the the you know the initial offering what were they like the big tent you know like the size of this room kind

or like each individual tent one maybe you have like a family tent that holds four or something yeah but four like everybody next to each other yeah like my wife and I would sleep in one big one and then the kids would and my son would actually Just sleep in like on the dirt yeah yeah or yeah or on a chair like we'd find him and his buddy and just oh yeah knocked out just kned on the camp around the campfire yeah how I guess yeah it was but this is something a piece of advice

that I've give people now is if you can pull your kid out of school do it yeah like if you if you have an opportunity you got some you know at work you're going to such and such a place or you get some some Opportunity to pull your kid out of school and take him to do something do it like 100% do it and do it as much as you can I I mostly did that with my son just cuz I don't know I guess cuz he's a boy and he's nfed and he was more

interested in other things but I wish I would have done it more with you guys too um cuz it's just way better it's just way you you will have more memories than you will get from your desk at school yeah it feels like uh also I mean Obviously depends on what you guys going to do you don't pull them out of school to go watch TV or something like that but yeah I see what you're saying but it gives them like reps in the real world too you know little experience but it's like not just

o it's a fun experience it's like you get playing time in the real world rather than in the class the classroom you see what I'm saying so it feels like yeah that would be very beneficial get that Playing time yeah man it's true all right so you me you know I started off talking about these like competitions and stuff and there was a lot of there's a lot of fun competitions to be had um like how how long who can hold their head in the ice chest like you know a cooler filled with ice who

can hold their head in there the [Music] longest wait Hannah did so these Competitions or you know all these different uh Evolutions or what did he participate or was he just he was a coach he was a ref whatever was the commander he just came up with the ideas you guys do it but I feel like every like I don't remember much not being like a competition M yeah so no like fun like um leisure activities it was just more like all right let see who comes out on top today okay all right good tip

like who can hang on this pullet bar the Longest oh yeah um all even things like and you've seen me do this Echo Charles even things like talent shows yeah because you know they would put on like a talent show or something yeah and I would just judge yeah I know like fully judge yeah not even like fun judge everyone wins not not an everyone wins sort of situation yeah I know the winter got got like an ice cream from the camp store or whatever or just got like love from your Father do you remember

when your kids were having a a jumping in the water diving contest I remember very much I got to witness this uh you know scenario at my house yeah there I mean like a I don't was it dive Cannonball it was like anything into the into the water some kind of jump off the platform thing yeah and I saw your your method right away I was like see what he's doing okay okay you know and it's the cool thing is they get into it oh yeah it works it takes Hold for sure and even though

there's no prize of any kind in that case actually rana's right you're probably more right than you than you realize love from your father so if it's like if Jo's over here blowing up the set with his presence you know his voice is all loud all the kids are like who's that guy and then he's giving tips and saying that's really good his I'll let you explain the method but you know when he's like implementing his method bro that's really what you're Striving for you're like I just want approval from this guy you know which

actually I did learn something from from that what you what was the takeaway well tell your method first then I'll say the take basically the method is to give them really like distinct feedback so like when your kids and it was a whole bunch of kids I don't know probably 10 kids but let's say Freddy gets up and Freddy like walks to the end of the diving Board and he jumps off and these kids are like six I mean he's just jumping off like a wild man but I'd say all right Freddy Hey listen overall

not bad technique a little bit marginal cuz your hands were flapping all over the place but most importantly your attitude as you walked up you didn't look like you were having a good time no one wants to see you not having a good time so because of that I'm docking you down to a 2.9 try again yeah and the next time Freddy would go his hands would be controlled at his side he have a big smile on his face and he would get i' be all right there we go 4.2 yeah Improvement yeah so there's

the method do you remember this method like does that ring a bell is like oh that makes sense cuz he did that yeah it wasn't just like oh good job cuz then you're like oh they're not really watching and they don't really care okay but when it's well it feels like maybe just a Good job would' be like okay we're just doing a dumb like diving contest but then it's like so when the judge is serious you're like oh [ __ ] I got to get serious now you know but like we can't even play

card games in our family that's like we've we've tried to play multip like card games spoons all this bro it just gets so chaotic and we even my dad came up with this thing during the game where it's it's not just like you're out it's like you're getting Ejected oh yeah you're getting ejected from the game if you're out from the game Echo I would go Echo Charles and everyone would put their hand up and then and then retract their hand back and go Echo Charles eject and like that feeling was horrible so not that

not that you were kicking them out it was like a legitimate part of the game yeah so you know game like uh uh musical chairs yeah yeah so if you didn't get it you didn't Get your chair it wouldn't just be like go to the side it would be like Echo Charles and everyone would go eject yeah so it's like this hostile spectacle and there's games like spoons is like that we have a lot of games that narrow the playing field the symbol game that narrow the playing field and narrow the playing field and narrow

the playing field lot of games like that but we did it to my younger sister we like ejected her and she was like balling her eyes up I don't think we've played since honestly well your younger sister my mom got so mad at us but it's all well there's a the other end of the spectrum is uh Helen is so nice that she wouldn't you know she couldn't even bring herself to say eject even though she was playing the game and you're authorized to eject someone and verbally yeah communicate that with the group and ostracize

that person you know we'd all do it then she'd be like it's okay sweetie like as Word ejecting Echo Charles she be like it's okay Eko you could you you did great Y no one believed her like not even the person that got ejected was just like [ __ ] yeah that makes sense but but doesn't surprise me that kind of stuff and there's a lot of I think there's like a lot of value in these things like look does Joo go too hard sometimes maybe but like especially that um the judging the diving contest

so the Takeaway was you're right R where if you're just like hey good job to everyone usually they're kids right you want to you don't want to freaking insult them especially in front of everyone or nothing like that right but there's this there's if you if you kind of can construct this method which apparently did um it's even more effective than a good job you know so it's like a you're engaged so you engage like I I notice every detail of your Jump so feel special like oh he cares you know kind of a thing

that's hey boom they're signed on already once the when you're like hey I like how you did this but then you then you give them praise but not too much praise you don't get the 100% praise you give them like the 85% praise and then you address the remaining 15% now they got motivation and AD Mission see what I'm saying and he's engaged and ja's going to be there the whole time with me you know like Evaluating whatever bro you see these kids freaking face light up can't wait to get back on that freaking wall

and you know what else is an important lesson about that is if your kid jumps off the thing and you go hey that was great the it wasn't great the message is whether it's great or not the message is you've achieved it right if you say hey that was good but here are some things you the message is I believe in you and You can do better yeah you can do better and who doesn't want to do better right I know and you know occasionally you'd get someone that you know was really struggling with some

particular thing and it's not like I'd be like who right you know I would tactically kind of support that individual I wouldn't go too hard in the paint if there was a kid that was maybe a little bit uncoordinated on some particular Evolution you know I might Not pick him for the team but I'm just kidding bro no the thing is even when you're explaining it like I'm thinking hey I'm like kind of mentally taking notes like okay how am I going to implement this but I got to bring my version I can't bring your

version I got to bring my version see what I'm saying mhm and I'm remembering that ever since then that's what I would do cuz that's a common game right there who can do the best Cannonball who can do the best dive Whatever that's yeah but it's also the yeah who can do the best anything right anything yeah yeah so I Implement every single time if I got the opportunity boom that that that concept is in there oh yeah 100% but um I do add my like certain flare like if someone does it like if they

do one that's like not up to par I'd be like hey that's the worst one i' ever seen in my life D but it adds they know I'm joking you know whatever but it's like it adds a little Bit they're all troubled but uh yes but yeah every single time um I used to like roast the kids too not just the kids I'd roast everybody around the campfire completely with a guitar so I would like sing songs make sense to me about each individual kid and like and they were all they were kind of kind

of a lot of times based around scatological humor do you know what that is do you know what that is r no it's like the nice way of Saying really immature jokes about like poo oh right so I you know it be like this kid farted you know and it would just you know the little kids they think that's the craziest thing they've ever heard in their lives like amazing um but that was that was good but you know the thing is you know I mentioned that like my wife sort of like let the kids

kind of wear what they wanted to wear we weren't real super uh strict on all the these Little items you know I think a lot of times when I talk to people about their kids I always I think they're always surprised that I was [Music] very La Fair you know like War for in the parliament of our times was more chill you know um and we even tried it when you guys were little like one Christmas we asked the kids you know go to bed cuz Santa's going to come and if you're awake when Santa

shows up dude He's leaving and they were they then they somehow convinced us that whenever they woke up we're going like we want to open presents right then so they woke up at 1:00 in the morning and so we all got up at 1:00 in the morning and opened all the presents and then it was just kind of ruined everything so we did Implement a rule there which was like not don't get out Of your room until 7:00 in the morning and we do order for opening presents it's not everyone opens at once oh like

take it's old or it's youngest to oldest youngest to oldest one person and then you re oh yeah rounds yeah yeah yeah yeah it's good you guys what do you do free all it's not yeah free for I mean I remembered yeah one at a time it's not strict though but it's yeah one at a time you know we want to see what is it you know whatever for the thing but no It's not in order for the free-for-all for us it was done in 2 minutes it's like 1:2 a.m. and we're like oh all

right yeah was a bummer the the funny thing about that is like we didn't have much money you know at all and so a lot of when I would buy something I would save the box so for instance uh when I would get a computer i' would save the box for three years four years and then just when Christmas time would roll around package that bad Boy back up you know zero wise the computer here you go wait another comp that same computer or put something else in the Box same the oneit one so if

I got a new computer every three or four years oh you get the old one I got it I got his old computer multiple times yeah actually that's not bad not bad at all yeah yeah it's yeah yeah I would try and I honestly didn't even know I thought it was new I was Sook uh I was like dang all right Computer I got a new computer we're doing good yeah we're stoked on that one um you the other thing that's that I remember about you being a kid is you were freaking strong as a

child yeah like um not normal you are not normally strong that's what he always says there like I have a multiple memories on different occasions of my dad making his friends pick me uph and just realizing how dense I am so to speak and there were like a couple words he to use but Dense heavy these aren't the best words so I mean this is this is uh uh a lesson so I I said I was going to go over some lessons aren't for me this is a good lesson for me cuz in my mind

I was literally as stoked as I could possibly be cuz you know how different people have um different strengths right so you you know when you train with someone in Jiu-Jitsu I don't with girls it's with training with girls is a lot different You don't you don't run you don't have as much of a regular occurrence of this type of human but people that are just they're built they're built different and you're like okay this dude's freaking so heavy so strong super dense and usually it's a type of person that has uh explosive mus muscle

tissue so like what's that is that type two tissue we'll say like twitch or something fast twitch the fast twitch muscle right Those people are usually they feel denser stronger and they're heavier for their size and so you again it's it's a lot more rare in my opinion that a girl has that and it was so obvious when you were little because you were heavy I know and you told me yeah I know and the thing is in my mind that was like a huge compliment and my sister like and your sister is normal well

she was like smaller like she was a ballerina my older sister and he would say she's like A bird she's like a bird he would have his two friends pick pick us up or whatever MH like oh my God isn't she like a bird and isn't R so dense so heavy I was like yeah and I didn't that's how that's how stupid I am yeah is I didn't even realize that that was a thing you know what I mean and the thing that I'm talking about is is girls are constantly being looked at and judged

on what they look like whereas guys don't there's really not that much of a Difference and the the biggest component of the way girls are looked at is like their weight so when your dad is like dude check how heavy she is and then your friend lifs her up and goes dude she is heavy they'd be like dude and and they'd High me is this of course they're high-fiving me and meanwhile she's like uh wait a second yeah so it's just a it's just a little heads up um I remember you I remember one specific

instance in the garage or like outside In our old house in Ocean Beach in the back on the pavement I remember Seth was over and you made him do that and I was like a little bit embarrassed because I because I had like a crush on CR on yeah I was like oh we're going to get married when we're older blah blah blah okay whatever I was like eight nice seven and so I was like oh [ __ ] like a little bit embarrassed you know but I I didn't really think like I was like

embarrassed but then I was like okay whatever uhhuh So let me ask you this about that experience the so cuz obviously he's not it's not like an intentional abuse or you know nothing like this it's like in fact it's the opposite we talk about it now because I because I'll be like bro you literally called me DSE you called me like a bowling ball all this stuff that's like and he said dude that's the biggest compliment I could ever give you that's what he says now and I understand it now as I've embraced that I'm

like Stronger but like when I was a kid I was like oh [ __ ] dude I got to like change I got to do something about this cuz this is not good do you think that it because okay so there's a different so him saying that stuff for sure it's going to land what he's saying is landing but his tone isn't like uh it's not a negative tone it's a positive so did you sense any of that going on like or was it just hey you're saying I'm dense that's bad that I feel like

looking back on I Remember him being stoked it's just how I like Twisted the words in my head yeah and also the way for lack of a better word like Society right is you look at the Barbies and you look at skinny skinny skinny skinny and here's your dad yeah being like dude you're so heavy right like just like that I'm totally stoked yeah but I didn't I'm an idiot you know I just didn't make the connection yeah but I feel like the outcome and the whole deal it would be a Completely different situation if

you said it in a negative you know in some bizarre world or something if you're saying it with a negative tone that's like a whole different thing toally even though you're not taking it as good you'd still think it bad of course but it it would be like I feel like the outcome would be like way different and way worse and I guess the lesson here is like even with the best intentions yeah 100% yes it was not good and yeah and Imagine if you had negative intentions you know you got to you got to

this is sort of like a leadership lesson too you know i' I talk about this sometimes when you're in a leadership position you got to remember that your words carry more weight right a lot more weight so if if you work for me Echo and I go even if I'm just joking around you know I go uh uh I guess you didn't really want to put your best effort to this video mhm that you had made yeah you know even though I'm joking right it has weight yeah by the way it also has weight when

you say something complimentary it's more so a lot of times you don't recognize that oh I'm the boss here I need to give some compliments because in my mind I'm like Eko doesn't really care if I say like hey dude that was a really good job yeah but in your mind again it's just cuz I'm thinking oh what who am I I'm just a dude yeah but in your mind you're like oh the joo's the boss he's the CEO or He's the the the lieutenant or whatever yeah in my mind I'm like I'm just another

dude so you got to keep that in mind your weight the word the weight of your words as a leader is a lot more than you think they are and the weight of your words as a parent is probably even heavier than that and so even when you're saying something with the best intention if you're not heavier no pun intended yeah they are certainly heavier and denser they are heavier yes yes they Land with more weight yeah just just more dense like a bowling ball yeah um so there you go uh be careful what be

very careful what you say to your kids and I'll tell you another thing that's important to remember is your kids like they're going to go through little phases some of the phases that they go through are are four days long some of the phases that they go through are four weeks long some of them are four months long but just about Nothing that they're doing is going to have some big permanent like that's the way my child is now like for a little while they're going to be into uh or or I don't know they're

going to listen to music that you don't like and you're why you listening to this crap or they're going to be into some sport that you don't like or they're whatever you just name it and we'll get to one of those because you know R got really you got really into cheerleading For a little while and I didn't like cheerleading I like I appreciate it more now but at the time there was things I looked at I was like oh I don't really like this but and we we'll we'll get there but my point is

if you feel like you need to impose corrective measures on your kids because they've taken one step off of the path don't don't it's not worth it let them bump into the guard rails and be like oo that path didn't seem really smart I'm going to go Back towards the right path but because we try and we worry another another story I tell us about Ethan uh one of my son's friends and when I took him to Jiu-Jitsu when he was 5 years old hated it didn't come back 6-year-old took him again hated it 7

years old hated it 8 years old hated it 9 years old he's totally totally fine totally into it and my point in saying that is he got really good really quick and it wasn't like his life was ruined because he didn't train And it wasn't even like if he wanted to become a world champion he would have become a world champion even though he was starting five years later than you know even though he started training earnestly at 9 doesn't really matter so we think that our kid you we make him into the world champion

like bro chill you know who's going to make your kid you know who's going to make the kid into a world champion the kid the kid Is so give them some space give them some room um speaking of jiujitsu and imposing Jiu-Jitsu and this is something I've talked about a lot on the podcast and which is I imposed jiujitsu on all my kids in a big way and when I say in a big way I mean seven days a week not like what you're doing eeko thank you once a week I love it I love

seeing them is it once a week right now is it twice a week oh for the kids yeah one time Sometimes twice but once or twice minimum minimum the mandatory that's the routine and what's the reason what we always talk about where jiujitsu is like you they are not allowed to not know Jiu-Jitsu growing up just for all the reasons that we explained and all the stuff or whatever um and they've accepted that so yeah boom so just like you can't uh just like you have to use the toilet and not like use the floor

yes exactly good just like You have to brush your teeth in the morning you just got to do hey one day a week that's just the way it is that's just a thing yeah I think that's a really good policy I think twice a week's a better policy oh yeah I I once I think once once is good I think for like young kids because even the even the thought of changing it from Once to twice like I just had a kid in my kids class cry and he his mom told me it's because we

changed it from once a week To twice a week I think once feels a little bit like oh that's fine once a week but it's like bro the day the second day comes by so quick they like o again you know yeah especially and you know kids in you're actually you have the most experience probably cuz you teach the kids' class yeah or you teach my kids class um the you see the difference like if a kid has like not that fun of a time and then he oh oh I got to go again day

after Tomorrow it's going to be like more of a thing you know so they can have like a good fun like my son for example you make him go by himself he's going to be like can we go late can we go home early whatever but if he's with Jack or who or whoever like some new friend Avery yeah he'll come he'll be like fired up ready to go running around that he don't want to leave see what I'm saying so it can be night and day like for a kid so yeah oh yeah that

they like he was like Choking him out having so much fun learning doing technique yeah with Jack yeah yeah having a friend really makes a huge difference hey by the way that's not not just for uh kids like today for Open Mat I just texted like the group and I was like hey who's and I was kind of like you know you know this and that I got a but busy and I was like hey is anyone who's training and like few people Roger up Greg trained yeah Dr Luke Dr Luke uh Were like hey

I'm in and as soon as I saw him I was like totally pum yeah ready tooll you didn't respond by the way oh well road work yeah that's right you doing road work but that's how my older sister and I got back into JSU we would just go to Victory to noi literally once a week and just go in the corner and do the moves and tell each other oh yeah this doesn't work like we would literally be I think I could get out of This I can just limp arm out of this and but

we would go we would have fun and like having a partner when you show up you don't have to do that like look around no one's making eye contact with you es it's worse especially if you're a girl too not even to play the girl card but like it is it is like worse and just having that set partner that you're like okay if I if no one else wants to roll with me I have that one person we can just roll five rounds if we want yeah You know well yeah yeah well you you

mentioned getting back into the Jiu-Jitsu but for a while you got out of Jiu-Jitsu and again I believe this is because of me because I was so like just passionate about Jiu-Jitsu and um you know you guys were training every day you were uh uh on Saturdays and Sundays it was like five hours it was like five hours in the gym actually one of you was saying the other day that cuz we you'd go in you do the Striking Class you do the grappling class and then I would go do class and then I would

do Open Mat so there's five hours and this is on a Saturday every Saturday and Sunday but I I think it was either you or maybe your brother was saying um you would be sitting downstairs waiting for me you'd hear my flip flops coming down the stairs and you'd get like excited yeah wait what like what it's time to go time to go yeah it's time to go and when it wasn't his flipflops bro S sit back down we got to you got to push through you know and the other thing I did that was

not smart is I would make you guys compete and not only that's not bad enough make you compete and then put you up a weight class put you up a belt level put you up an age group and so you're going with kids that are more experienced heavier and older than you and was that intentional yes in my mind I was like oh I want to make this in my mind it was Like they it because the tournaments were so small it was like all the girls are going to go together no matter what Bel

like y level sometimes it would be that but then they'd be like well you know because I would know that people run in the tournaments and be like hey Joo do you want your daughter to go in this group which is like lower or her age and we only have we got three girls in there we got two girls or three girls in the older group and I'm like I put Her in the older group and and I not kidding I 100% in my mind thought I was doing you kids the biggest favor in the

world and just like oh man imagine how good they're getting right now and here's the reality of the situation is you go you enter the tournament you go to someone that's bigger stronger heavier and older than you you get smashed it's not fun you get defeated you get humiliated cuz cuz all gra all fighting Combat Sports and all single uh Uh opponent Sports which just you and another person there's no team like no you are it's all you and so it's humiliating and there's an added component that in jiujitsu you have to admit that this

person is a superior Predator than you are even if it's on a primal like subconscious level in your mind even as a little kid you go oh I can't stop this person from physically doing whatever they want to Me and and actually I think it was huberman who who either he had a guest on or we were talking about this but the way you should actually set things up if you when you do it intentionally is you should try and get not just kids but everyone 80% of the time they're winning I think that was

Jordan Peters oh was it Jordan okay so 80% of the time you're winning 20% of the time you're losing that's like you feel good you feel good but I got beat but I know I can win so I Put you guys in scenarios where often times it was it was 90% losing and it just I don't even really remember winning like one to be honest you won some oh I won against my friend oh yeah you had to go against one of your friends and you beat her and then you were crying yeah cuz you

were sweet um bad yeah bad so so what what all the um the outcome of all this bad behavior by Me was you and your sister and your brother were just like we don't want to Go we don't want to go we don't want to go I remember we' because we're just going to get our ass oh yeah because I would also do this in practice so like at the gym m it's like oh yeah because at the gym you know you've got the classes from whatever 8 to 13 you got 13year old boys in

there and I'd be like Rana here you go well this kid is you know got a mustache you know what I mean R's eight so it just wasn't fun I didn't Make it fun and this is the biggest thing I tell people now with your kids and it's just not with jiu-jitsu man it's with everything make it fun if you have a happen to have a kid cuz I we I've had kids there's been like this at victory over the years you might have a kid that's a natural competitor and fun for them is going

really hard and competing and sometimes getting beat there's kids like that it's one out of every Hundred it's one out of every hundred most kids first of all they don't really care about the thing that you care about like they're like dude what do you what is this weird stuff where we roll around on the ground and try and choke each other I don't even you know I don't want to do that I want to draw or I want to baseball this is some other thing and sometimes you're the one that's into baseball dude you

don't understand dude you know how awesome it is for a person Be able to hit this tiny ball that's flying at 90 mes hour do you know what kind of human skill that is kids like I don't freaking care it means nothing to me uh that again I'll bring this this clip up again and I don't even know what the movie is but it's Matt Damon yeah yeah and and cuz they make a bunch of memes with it now where they're showing the kid he's got like squat rack in his room where he got Matts

in his room or he's got a bow and arrow in his room and Matt Damon the dad's he's yelling at his kid and this you know you can't make me live after your you can't make me follow your dreams and he's like yes I can he's like Dad why are you yelling he says cuz it's a good dream So eventually the pressure and I I realized eventually I was like yeah I'm I'm I'm clearly doing something wrong what was it that made you realiz do you remember just they were freaking Miserable and every time going

to the gym was a gut check of like tears yeah probably throwing yeah being in the car like throwing stuff we like threw like water bottles yeah one time they threw water bottle at from the back of the Min every all three of us like crying like straight up Rebellion trying to get our mom to like tell Dad like they don't want to do this and Dad's like all right well I don't care we're going for a lot I said I don't care and just be quiet Keep going so you did that it's a good

dream that's basically did it I 100% did it I'm this is like I wish I would have been able to hear this and I didn't czy and so finally I was like yep you are being an idiot and the big the big disconnect that I had and this is again this is something I teach at aelon front all the time is I would never impose things on my platoon I wouldn't be like shut up guys this is what you're doing I would never Do that I would talk to them and listen to their side of

the story and explain to them why something's important and there was no you know it's pretty easy in the SEAL Teams you're like well do you want to be prepared for war and if you get to there in a conversation the guys go yeah we want to be prepared we'll go do the training or we'll get this piece of gear or we'll like guys will we're all unified with one goal yeah so and you could figure that out With Jiu-Jitsu too like hey and you're doing this with your kids right now Echo was like Hey

I just want you to be you want to be prepared for life right like you want to be able to handle yourself something goes wrong and kids will kind of go yeah but even a kid can't really fathom like such long term like like if you were probably like well one day you're going to you're going to need to Def okay bro yeah no that's not true yep and that's why even in that situation It's like going back to what I said about Ethan like okay well you know you don't need to train right now

then and that's perfectly fine yeah like it's perfectly fine it's way better than creating an antagonistic relationship with your platoon or even worse creating an antagonistic relationship with your kids where they don't want to do it and so after I realized that and I wasn't happy about it but I was like well yeah I guess this is what we're doing now I Will say that I let the girls kind of stop but my son I was like yeah I didn't have and then that I think a lot of that came from the fact that in

my mind as a boy you 100% are going to be fighting like as a girl you can avoid it you can be quick witted in a lot of cases but in my mind especially from my old job like you have to just fight you have to fight other guys it's just happening and I Just kept him going and and and I will say this as well once I isolated him from you two from his two sisters he was kind of more on board and then the other thing is he started like I think one of

his buddies got I think Ethan got into it at the time and so Jonah yeah Jonah and so now that now he had a couple buddies but that mob mentality is is gnarly a classic example of that mob mentality is when so we have our first three kids are born and then There's a seven-year Gap so it's been 7 years and we're in our little house 934 Square ft H yeah in Ocean Beach California and my wife gets pregnant again and so it's Halloween night so this must have been I don't know what year it

was but it's Halloween night and we we're we're like super stoked 2009 2009 right yeah I think so we're super stoked and so we bring the kids together and we're like guys we got some great news news and they're they're thinking Like what we getting candy what are we doing we going to trick or treat we going to the we going to the ners house what we what Happ we going up to the cursed house what are we doing and we're like Mom's pregnant and you guys are going to have a little baby brother or

sister and it leading from the front my oldest daughter was like got the most horrified look on her face stormed away Rana you started just crying and Then Thor followed suit and it was like bro what just happened we were like how could you guys do that to us yeah yeah it was wild I think um Freya your older sister I think she was very sensitive about money she was and is yeah to the stad like she thought a child costs money and we don't have any money and now you're going to have another child

you guys are idiots and you're irresponsible she literally would think That at the age of whatever 10 be like you guys are irresponsible yeah so why were you crying or like what I was just upset cuz Freya I I like no if you see like if the person that you look up to is like freaking out you're like oh God this is bad that is 100% real I looked up to Freya so much that my sister so much I don't know um she would like so basically when we were were younger we would get these

coconut ice pops from This place and we were each allowed to have one and my sister would finish hers first knowing that she could ask me for a bite of mine and I would say yes because I had to because I thought she was like awesome I still do think she's awesome but she like can I have a bite if if not I was getting going to get the silent treatment so like I guess I'm giving up my bite especially those I those coconut ice PS the pulp was at yeah the the best bites they're

like Coconut shreds bro I would try to finish mine so fast so so you got you know so you start you stopped training Jiu-Jitsu um and that's when you kind of got more really into gymnastics for a while yeah and you were into gymnastics uh did you like it you liked it I really like you went to it a lot yeah I I went to it a lot but I was really not good m I went to it a lot and like it was just some gymnastics place in point l and a bunch of my

friends were in it and it was really fun I just it wasn't it wasn't for me like being I wanted it so bad to be for me but it wasn't and so I one of my friends started doing cheer competitive cheerleading and it's sort of similar to to gymnastics like tumbling and stuff and actually in gymnastics I liked the tumbling part I wasn't really good on The bars and the beam like I would just fall off and stuff like once I got a new skill and it was like the silliest skill ever my dad was

like filming and everyone's like you got this and it's just like me going around the bar like it was just like so but but then my friend started doing gymnastics and she said you're going to like you would really or my friend started doing cheerleading and she said you're really going to like this and the Drews mhm Family friend of ours and I like moved from gymnastics to cheer and like immediately was like in love with it it was so much fun and so hardh like I tell everyone that I that I like people in

Jiu-Jitsu say what sport did you do I said I did wrestling but I also did cheerleading which is random I know it's an interesting combination and they were like cheerleading like what and I was like yeah dude that was hard like we is it was like a routine so You're not cheering for anyone you're you're like going against different teams and you it's like 2 minutes and 30 seconds of all out like like pushing herself flips tumbling lifting people like all well looking like at the at the cameras like having to look crazy and it

was so much fun I had so much fun yeah a lot of times people don't realize how hard that is it's well it kind of is gymnastics in a way do you guys like prop each other up and all that so in College sports they have the cheerleading team is girls and guys and you'd think like oh a guy doing the cheerleader like it makes more sense for the guy to go play football brother Che it's like just as hard as football cuz you got to balance these girls up here like the guys are all

buff and like big and stuff and you got to do it all game too they must come from gymnastics yeah F most of the time yeah that's what it seemed like well Yeah that's the thing so the other thing I remember you tell me about cheer versus gymnastics is gymnastics is like super methodical like you have to do each little at least the place where you trained it was like you have to do imagine if imagine like a Jiu-Jitsu place where hey before you can learn the arm lock you got to learn the this sweep

and so we're not going to teach you this other thing until you know this thing And until you're proficient in it and by the way you're not going to be able to roll until you get your blue belt so is that a good comparison Rana um yeah we we we worked a lot on specific skills that were like mine weren't the prettiest but I but when I went over to cheer like they were like oh can you do a standing backflip and I'm like no and they're like okay let's get it so I would I

just I just they would put a squishy pad down and you would go but in Gymnastics it's like you're the pr aggression is so slow slow and methodical and I think I was kind of like bro like let me do some crazy stuff you know like I liked I liked I I was not that great of a tumbler is you have to be well-rounded in in competitive cheer like you have to jump you have to do like jumps standing backflips then you have to do tumbling which is running but then also you have To lift

people above your head and then you got to look remember the dance it's just it's just so much going on and I think I really liked that aspect of it just I don't know if I'm going to land this freaking sing tuck I might break my finger which I did I might break my finger I might put my face on the mat that's fine you just like that that that's all the more reason to like go ham at it like I and you used to puke every time like at the end of each when We

compete like when we'd compete but even when we were getting ready to compete we like you do your routine all out so if someone Falls you got to redo it you got to do the redo the routine from like zero at least this is where I trained and which is what is called C coite is C coite still around I believe it is yeah shout out C Co shout out c c shout out coach Betty and Coach Angela okay but they were legit like if we if we let someone fall like we were Restarting and

I would literally vomit because I was giving it my all like throwing myself over when I couldn't even do it regularly like it was crazy where did you but that's what I think like made me in gymnastics I don't think that I was very athletic I think I kind of moved a little bit slower I think I don't know like I did I worked out we we worked out like before school and stuff in elementary school and I was like I could Do pull-ups and stuff but like gymnastics I I remember watching videos and I'm

like ah like it's it's like I'm not moving very well but then when during cheer I feel like it taught me like athleticism like you're going to throw yourself over your head but you're going to like land it because like it's like a really athletic dude can get a backflip very quickly because it's this like athletic it's like that moving yourself through through the air and Having to like really drive off your legs and and that's that and you got to land it or else you're redoing the routine um is that when did you get

someone to freaking handstands was that from gymnastics yeah it was gymnastics that was like the one thing that I really just got quickly I don't know what it was a lot of people like Progress way faster than me and mooved to different gyms and for gymnastics but when we had The handstand competition bro it was over Echo I'm I'm not kidding she would walk around the house our house just a handstand just walk around like show up for dinner like coming from her room she just feet rolling through the hallways through the hallways like everywhere

she would just handstand just walk around it was like you know when someone has a a fidgeting habit they turn their pen or they they uh do that with their lips or they whatever tap their foot it was like That but she just like would be standing there and just do handstands and just like stand there just do a handstand walking around and my feet would be flying everywhere bro like I was going to kick you in the face was that did it feel like a fidget or was it like you're just like kind of

into it that hardcore I just loved it like I just loved going going on my hands I thought it was so fun well I don't know if you know this about me I had a handstand face as well Really yeah from Judah when I was small so I was maybe 10 11 no it was before fifth grade so yeah maybe nine anyway I took Judo and one of the drills was Walking On Your Hands Across the m and back no one could do it you just walk and then if you go down you continue right

one guy could do it it's maybe a 20-year-old guy and he was like kind of buff and I remember everyone like being so impressed with this guy and I was like man that would be cool if I was That guy you know I was like the new guy but I was like What if I was that guy who could do it too you know so I just go home and practice and I I think you're right I think guys well I don't know I was one of these guys who I kind of picked it up

quick and not that I could do it really good really quick but the progress was quick like when I practiced for like even like 1 hour I would be like wait I can kind of walk a little bit and I said I can kind of see Myself doing this and it it took maybe 3 weeks but I could do it I could do the whole thing and I remember everybody in Judo class being like oh look at this kid he's so freaking cool or whatever with Ana and me and that other guy who were the

only guys who could do it and then eventually when I got into high school I walked across the football field on my hands and I was like I won 50 bucks by the way W and yeah my friend was super impressed but I literally just Did a minute handstand at the muster this past weekend because all the kids were like I can do handstands I'm like oh really and they were like and I was like well I can do handstands too and they were like no way and I'm like I can do one for a

minute and they were like are you serious I'm like put the clock on and I did it they like waa they were so impressed that's sick you can still do I don't practice that often either like I Think that like handstands in gymnastics like a lot of great wrestlers and Jiu-Jitsu players are are like have those roots of gymnastics tumbling just tumbling in general too like when we went out to Philly for a wrestling camp that me and my younger sister went to this past summer bro all the guys were doing back flips all the

wrestlers were doing back flips and this this Camp was a really good wrestlers and they were doing back Flips they were doing them they were doing front hand sings off of each other and it's just so athletic like that athleticism yeah even like like uh the 10th Planet guys like Gio and and Boogie like they came from break dancing break dancing and and so they kind of bring that thing in there a couple things about cheer that I think is again these are like Lessons Learned for me but at this point you know now I

had I had learned a little bit more and I Understood a little bit better you know I had made these mistakes with you guys like forcing you to do Jiu-Jitsu and stuff like that and so when you wanted to do cheer of course I W I was wrong because I just thought in my mind I just had like the stereotypical cheerleader in my brain of like oh what do they do like sit there and go raah raw football player and they wear a bunch of makeup and they have like big hair and they're we did

wear makeup and half bigir you Did wear makeup and you work crazy amount of makeup and crazy amount of hair but I didn't but but the athletic side I didn't really understand and um actually I worked with a woman who I told her like yeah man my my and This Woman's awesome like a badass uh CEO of a company and I was like yeah you know my daughter's going to do cheerleading and she's like I did cheer is the best thing for me and I was like oh really I said why and she said Well

you got to stand up there you got to do all this athletic stuff and and she was talking about High School cheer she says you know you got to get up in front of a bunch of people and you got to yell and that takes a lot of confidence so it helped out her confidence um so there was I kind of saw the negative but at least at this point I was smart enough to be okay kind of what I said earlier like if your kid's going to go through phases I thought you Know what

just going to do some cheerlead okay and actually our neighbor deer cuz his daughter this was High School cheer and both of you did High School cheer and he's he and I are always talking [ __ ] to each other and I was driving down the alley and I start stopped to talk to him and he's like so you get you're letting your daughter do cheer huh cuz he thought you know like I Was Joo you know big tough Joo is going to let his daughter do cheer and I was like and and he knew

because his daughter did cheer and I he said so you going to let your daughter do cheer huh very accusatory and I said something like dude I figure I'd let her do cheer right now otherwise you're going to end up with a freaking a meth head you know what I mean like when you try and control people yeah it's Rebel for so uh I also wrestled at the same time anyway yeah the other thing is I think yeah that's true once you were wrestling you you get a lot of a uh I remember also and

this is just think speaking again about like your natural abilities which I don't I don't know why you didn't I'm sure there's like a specific type of body type that is good for girls gymnastics bro I know but like kid you you did um you did like I I had uh Sage train you guys Sage Berner and she's like a national level wrestler or sorry National level weightlifter her dad is badass like Olympic lifting coach and she was working with you for the summer and one day she just said if I could design a human

for Olympic weightlifting it would be Rana and I was like okay so I thought that was pretty cool um I think there is a specific build for gymnastics plus I Just it just wasn't like I just didn't connect with me I don't know I yeah I think it was honestly now that I've discussed it with you I think you were bored I think you wanted more like like more activity and more like hey got yeah um cuz I would I did like that aspec of cheer when I have to pick you up from practices you

know you're like bro you don't break a sweat honestly yeah I know and I was like and I'm I bet there's people listening right now that are like She went to the wrong gymnastics place cuz I I guarantee there's places that are psych and it was a beginner gymnastic six place I'm not like it just wasn't for me that we had good coaches good people but I just like I would it was not like a good form of exercise for me either in my opinion but when I got to cheer bro I was sweating like

crazy like sweat like never before like really really working my butt off like it was crazy so you you Get a freshman year in high school I think I just I think I just straight up said I will pay you money if you wrestle yeah well well my older sister tried to wrestle and I I knew you were going to like pay me to wrestle in the first like you weren't like I was just like all right mhm I'll get paid to do it yeah unfortunately for your older sister there was she was the only

girl on the team and she was just after like a few weeks she was like Dad I'm literally Just getting like my face pounded into the mat and it just sucks and it's sweaty and nasty and it's sweaty and nasty and there's these freaking 17-year-old dudes in there and she's the only girl and that goes back to like not having a partner that you like that seriously can make it break it yeah like I like my dad told my brother you're going to go to to rana's wrestling practices and when he wasn't in high school

yet so I'm two years older than Him and he was like you're going to go so R because I was the only girl also so he was like you're going to go and just be her partner and that was like ser serly amazing I would have made friends eventually because I don't think that I would have would have not done it MH but you never know but um yeah having my brother there was like awesome because I didn't have to look around no one wants to pair with the one girl cuz that's you know we're

in high school you Know and luckily he was probably like I guess if you were 13 he was like 11 or something like that but he but you guys were about the same size you guys were similar enough in size yeah we were we were like exactly the same size and all and we we were just like little meatballs like dragging our feet when we'd have to do runs for wrestling like we were always the last two to finish just like the 11-year-old and the one girl You know holding it down but it was fun

I didn't mind yeah and people were like supportive they they were like cheering um your F the first I think it was the first match that you ever did in wrestling like a girl like you almost got in a fight a girl swung at you like a hostile girl just freaking tried to fight you yeah so that was a wakeup call she got a she got a warning and then I lost but it was fun yeah yeah wait why' She swing at you though she swung at me I don't know she just she just did

we were both freshman first tournament small tournament yeah you know clubbing clubbing the head to thing think she just like was getting pressed and swung but my mom I looked over her in the crowd she was like your mom couldn't even watch you wrestle no she she would like she would like leave it's funny cuz even now when I compete my brother cannot he doesn't Even like to watch the streaming of me he said I was nervous he was like I'm nervous oh he's more nervous yeah he's more nervous which I don't know but I'm

like that's crazy you can't even you're not even going to watch yeah that's fine that's actually really good that means like obviously you know really simply put that means he cares you know like cares like a lot or whatever oh I had tournaments or I have like I had a super fight a couple like a couple weekends Ago and it was in San Diego and he didn't go oh cuz he was nervous or whatever probably yeah it was funny I was talking to your mom that that day cuz I was there and I was like

yeah how do you feel about this cuz usually I it it's very common for the parents or the coach to be more nervous than the competitor that's pretty a common thing you know so I asked your mom I was like how do you feel you know when you see your you know your kids compete or Whatever she's like I just hope they're not too stressed and you know like really has this real sensitive really carrying a um perspective you know and the whole thing is very interesting this is also where did you cut you you

did your first weight cut your freshman year yeah and I remember because we weighed you at the house and you were over in the morning and we had to come down to Victory turn on the sauna at 5: in the morning and Put you on the treadmill and put you in the sauna to cut weight yeah and that was I think that was the same tournament where like this girl was trying to make weight and she freaking caught all of her hair off like got off the scale was still over right next to me and

it was like a High School freshman freshman and and I mean it's been a couple of of years obviously but there weren't too many girls yeah at the tournament I'm like dude she throws it Away in the trash can makes weight that's kind of going hard yeah dud I was like all right you ended up getting hurt your second tournament which was a bummer um and it was like a pretty bad shoulder injury and uh and that was it for your season that was it for your freshman season yeah you kept going to prac go

to practice though yeah yeah you kept going to Practices and you kept trying to learn but you but the weird thing is you weren't you were basically had like three moves you know like I'm going to double leg you I'm going to whatever I hardly even double leged I was just like I'm going to fireman anle pick but even freshman I think freshman to sophomore year I had no moves I'm not even kidding I just was like all right let's go but you would win based on your just like jiu-jitsu That you had in an

ancient memory in your brain and you just stronger than the other people you would just be able to like like I'd watch girls grab you and you could see the you'd see the look on their face like oh no like oh this is going to be a little bit more difficult than I thought um did you do did you do cross country your freshman year too I did it my sophomore year all right so let's go to your sophomore year your sophomore year so freshman year so you Do two sports so freshman year I did

cheerleading and high school cheerleading and wrestling and I did competitive cheerleading too um but my second year I didn't want to do high school cheerleading anymore so you had to pick a second sport I picked cross country for some random reason because I was like I'll get my running better and it was like a gut check yeah I remember um a lot of complaining And my my wife who's a saint by the way MH I don't know what the statues of limitations are on this but I do not know that my wife would like pick

Rana up somewhere on the conditioning run and like drop her off somewhere else yeah once we got caught oh we all got in trouble so badly what did what what you got caught so so yeah because our our like uh the guy what is it coach our coach he would Ride Along on a bike on a bike and like me and my group of friends That were in that together we would just like fall so far behind because we were gossiping we were not running we were just like like I had the idea that I

was going to work on my running and then I just simply like was like this is bull but I actually do remember something interesting that just popped into my head all the cross country girls wore Nike Pros their shorts and when I ran my chafe like I would literally bleed like my chafe on My inner thighs and I asked the coach and I I said can I please wear leggings and he said no to me because that was our uniform and I was like broh because when we were we were running and it was so

hot and we get so sweaty then it gets sticky so I was like getting such bad bumps in between my legs eventually I just wore leggings because it was like so painful and I was getting really like inflamed but I was like BR because cross country Like historically has like very slender Runners MH right yeah so I was like this is not going to do for me I can't I just I just switched it I just wore what I want because it was too painful but yeah I remember that but yeah we got caught um

cutting cutting like I didn't cut the course the of the official match or the official run so we'd have like 5Ks for time m in against schools and I my friends were like we're going to hide in the bathroom because there was an extra Loop I didn't have it I genuinely I was like I'm not doing that and then they got like around the same time as me because I did the loop and then they were like okay we're going to catch up with Rana it's like all right just Rana you know well I'm glad

that you at least had the morals to not just straight freaking cheat well they got caught too yeah then I'm double glad me too um and then then wrestling your sophomore year uh you still had your brother coming in But now you also had some friends on the team um and you had another girl on the team that was good and she was strong super and kind of she was she was heavier than you yeah she was taller than you she was like she was a senior when I was a sophomore and she was one

of my friend one of my wrestling friends older sister who just went into wrestling that one year of her senior year and it was so like nice to have a partner her name was Olivia and um my Brother was starting to get a growth spurt too so I couldn't like roll with him anymore he would just like push me over bro I just K but yeah it was nice to have Olivia and we had a bunch of seniors that year and that year was really hard we ran a lot we drilled a lot MH and

yeah I honestly don't remember too much about it yeah you were I don't know what you I don't know what you like your record was or whatever was probably something like even you know What I mean he was probably pretty even like yeah um but you know the thing is you you weren't too skilled no but you were freaking strong and you were tough and you had a couple good moves that you would be able to just impose on people and you know when I look back now I I should have done more I should

have been more proactive in like getting you to wrestling camps where you would learn a lot well I don't know true true yeah because then I Think I could have at least yeah who knows um yeah because if I was if I would have been too fired up I think like I can ruin anything because wrestling this is the thing wrestling my dad my dad didn't not wrestle in high school they don't think they had wrestling they didn't have wrestling no and it was sort of because when I did Jiu-Jitsu I did I I think

like I did like it when he when I actually had to fight someone like I would be like oh no But then I I wanted to fight someone like I liked it yeah and I think the same was true in wrestling but it was my it was like even though they're very similar I I in my mind was like they are so different and this is mine and that's his thing j just who his thing because remember I would tell you like wrestling's way better I would say wrestling's way better I'd be like I don't

like jiujitsu you got to like do all this stuff on ground you have to Like it's just a pin for wrestling it's just that's you just have one objective there's not all these submissions you could do and in my mind I was like okay this is my thing my dad would come into the wrestling room like what like once or twice it was just like me and my brother like my my wrestling friends and it was fun yeah and like my dad never was like you need to go to this Camp it was sort of

just like I'm going to practices you didn't tell me to go to Practices with my shoulder her I would just went yeah I definitely had recognized the error of my ways and like I said like I it kind of might have gotten missed in the conversation but I looked at you EO and I was like I can ruin anything yeah didn't get oh yeah I can straight up I can make anything suck yeah like I can make the funnest thing into like a stupid competition where all of a sudden everyone's freaking stressed out for no

reason forever way that's That in my opinion is fun like who what if the kids like just play Dive and you're a good job they would have been done in one second yeah yeah yeah it was I honestly thought it was fun sometimes it was a little crazy but like all the games and stuff I had a good time let me put you this way I'll joke about this with your little sister and let's say she's like um let's say if she said oh i' you know I I I want to play guitar I'd be

I I'll J this will be my joke with her I'll be like okay let's go down to Guitar Center right now I'm going to get you some lessons I'll get you signed up I'll get you an amp you need to get a an SG with a very good guitar and she just laughs but that's how I can ruin things you know I mean I can just go a joke now but it's a joke now but back in the day it would could have been more serious and it may have been more serious that's why I

was probably like dude so stoked that She's wrestling so stoked that she's like wrestling is better I'm like cool in my mind I'm like bro she you're not going to be like you should do the summer thing cuz there's no way I think in my in my mind that would have blown up maybe you know yeah I don't know maybe well then by your junior year you were more fired up for wrestling yeah and you actually did train all summer long no I only trained so I only trained my junior year summer going into my

Senior year because I really wanted to make it to State I was like um my coach coach Spencer he we worked out at Victory every morning and then we'd go to Taylor Johnson's wrestling class during the summer and then when school started we the wrestling Squad cuz cuz wrestling was the second season of high school sports so we had like those first couple months um and then we me like and my brother and our other wrestling friends would come in to just Victory and Taylor would teach later in the day and it was really fun

but that was the only time I did off season yeah on my own valtion mhm and it was fun and then senior year was was like crazy yeah yeah and you and your goal was to make it to State and you you did make it to State and um that was freaking that was epic but the other thing that that I think you started doing your senior year was like cutting weight yeah yeah well I started a couple Years before but my senior year I really was like legit cray cray about it a little bit

you were like focused on weight not just in wrestling too just like in life like you just wanted to be you didn't want to be heavy I did not no I didn't but um that's why it's so hard for me to recall even my senior year there are so many good moments like making it to state but at State I like I weighed in at like six lbs less Than I could have and my coach said you have 5 PBS you need to eat but I would like I wouldn't because I like just didn't want

to I wanted to like lose weight and not I feel like like I was literally at State and I was like worried about gaining weight mhm even though you had six pound even though I had six pound allowance and you're at State and you were like no I don't want to gain any weight uh getting to state was Probably like one of my best memories was you so you were at you were in in it's CIF and Masters it's basically the regional tournament to get to State yeah and so you had the first day you

lost one and my first match was it your first match no I'm saying the first day the first day I think yeah I think it was my second match I lost yeah either that or was the later in the day but anyways I don't know you lost a match your first day and what that meant Was Echo Charles the next day she had to win five straight matches yeah each match getting harder and harder and harder as you're going smaller and smaller into the bracket and so she loses one match that first day and I

remember we and she had she could have done the weight class below but she qualified at whatever it was 13 something I qualified at 143 so so but at that tournament I was like 140 I was probably below that like 136 or Something so she could have made the next weight down but she already qualified MH so she loses that first day and I'm like you know I'm in my mind dude I'm like well it's so bad that she didn't make it to State cuz how it's going to be hard to win five matches straight

the next day but I was like I offered up some uh comfort food and I was like yo you want some Pizza Hut and she's like yeah and I'm like what do you want she's like whatever and I just like Ordered everything I ordered pizzas and pastas and know the whole nine yards and she just kicked it and you know Chow Down and then the next day uh she had these five matches and what was I don't know what happened and I don't know if it happened after the first match but you could see that

little girl that carried the rock across the river like that little girl arrived and each match you could see her it was also You' worked with you Know Taylor you'd work with Spencer your coach so you had more skills now yeah and you were starting to apply them for real and not just imposing them cuz you're stronger but doing them correctly and setting things up and stuff like this and so each match you got you it was watching you get better and more determined and each one you won you were like getting more and more

confident and more and more just I got this and we're out in Broly Broly oh yeah yeah Broly is Awesome it's an awesome it's an Valley it's it's a they have great Athletic program but it's also it's in the middle of the desert there's nothing out there but farms and so the kids don't have a lot to do besides like compete and train and and they're all into it and so they happen to hold this tournament out there in Broly and in your whatever it was the second to your last match you were going against

a girl from Broly the stands are filled with people from Broly And the Broly people man brly people are fired up man they're there to win and so the crowd's going crazy and you had a crazy match with this awesome girl from Broly and you threw down and you beat her 98 yeah yeah 9 I got called for stalling yeah I was I was up 97 and like 97 just it was crazy and the crowd was going totally insane cuz think of how when you when you're down by one point how crazy is the crowd

the crowd going totally Nuts and she's stalling also they had a full woman's team stat like they had like a team a team B and I think there was only well I was the only one like left in from my school but there was only like four of us that went to CIF and all the girls like all the Broly girls were like sitting in front bro and the Broly girls like they all have a Letterman's jacket that has like the number of pins they got on it what their weight class is like it's there

it's an Intimidating crew props to to Broly um so she won that match which was awesome and then and then you had in your in the match for third place which meant you get to go to state she had a girl that that you had beat before a couple times and that girl told me afterwards I think she said something like that she was just scared to wrestle you cuz you were so strong and I was like yes uh but you won that and then you ended up going to State the Probably the one of

the worst things in my whole life is when you went to State I had to a speaking event and so I went to like I watch your first match which I got annihilated because the girl was third like third in the state or something mhm which is fine mhm I just was happy to be there but then so if you win one the first day it just depends on your bracket um well I lost I lost the first day but then I was on to day two because our something with the bracket I Just was

I just was there well it's wait did I win this no I didn't I won my second you won your second day so I flew I had to leave and if you ever get a chance to go to state championships in California go watch it because it's they say it's the biggest wrestling tournament in the world because there's only one there's in different states they have like different size schools so it's like oh this is a AAA School double a School and so there can be a bunch of different Champions at 134 m in California

there's one so they say it's the biggest wrestling tournament in the world because it's 36 million people or I don't how many kids there are but it's it's all these kids and they go from all these kids all over the state of California down to one true champion and that was the first year boys and girls competed at the same tournament too so it was a a legit it was in Baker field But it was at this like big arena it was really cool it's legit yeah but then I Won Won the next day and

lost one the next and I wasn't there when you won yeah wasy so bummed out yeah but you were the f I think you were the first person to make it to state from point LMA High School in wrestling in like 35 years or something crazy like that yeah that's true yeah so so that was quite of Epic hold it down the goal was accomplished um You get done with that what year did you graduate high school 2019 2019 so 2019 now you go to college mhm and you go to calp yep um uh after

I wrestled I was like I'm done with this wrest like I'm done with grappling just in general you thought it was over yeah I I just was like this is too much mhm the way the weigh-in part was like really eating out my mind and I just said okay I'm done with this oh so then you weren't worried about uh weight Anymore oh no I was so what so what was your attitude when you got to college what were you doing what were you into what was happening so when I went to college I was

like it's just me just just me no like not my family was there and um it was rough my first year was rough but we got co wait what was rough your first year so basically I just w i I had a couple Of friends and they're they're really awesome friends but I I didn't room with them I like isolated myself a lot in my first year and I was very very meticulous about everything that I ate and the way that I looked mhm so basically it it sort of started this like inkling started my

like when I was like in seventh or eighth grade is when I downloaded a calorie counting app with my one of my best friends at the time And like when we when I was in high school I was like it was sort of nice cuz I could just put it off on wrestling that I was cutting weight or whatever and I guess you could say I'm dense so people people would tell me like when I was not eating or eating very little they would say that I looked good and things like that and and I'm

not putting it on anyone it was same thing as when you you would tell me things it was like I took them a certain way so I took it As like you like me better this way and like I just keep going so basically College was like an environment where it was just me and like I could just I had full rain like it was there was no one looking over me it was just like I'm I'm going to do everything that I want to do I'm going to weigh everything that I eat I'm going

to like like no go places I'm going to isolate myself when you say you had full rain what you mean is you you actually Mean you had full control over everything that you wanted to do well know because you said you had free rain which indicates like you kind of just went wild but it's the actually the opposite you had you were now in full control you could only buy the foods that you thought you free R of doing some doing what I wanted to do which was the strictness full control full I was like

this is awesome I don't have to hide anything from anyone I'm just going To weigh all my food take pictures of what I look like every single day and like that's that exercise a little bit too much and that's that you know how much is too much um I know I was thinking about this when I when I was driving over here because like obviously exercising every day is like awesome and I do it to this day but it was just like it wasn't even like I was exercising too much it was like for all

the wrong reasons it was more like a little Different perspective of because I was doing fine in normal things I was lifting stuff that I do now that would that if if someone was doing this it today it wouldn't be like oh they're going crazy but it was just like um yeah that's just how it was so the the when you say the re the lifting for the working out for the wrong reasons just you weren't working out to be healthy you weren't work working out because you were training for some kind Of competition you

were just working out basically to burn calories Yeah so basically the the like app that I had um it gives you a certain amount of calories and I'm short and all the only three things it asks for your age your height and your weight so like it doesn't ask anything else and so so it gives you it gives you like a amount of calories which I think mine was like a th does ask you your goal too yeah it asks you your goal and it can say like You like however much you want to lose

whatever so then my goal was like 1,000 calories a day right because that's what it told that's what it told me to do it told me to this was okay this is a backtrack this was in eighth grade when I put this information in and I'm a child first of all and I'm dense so I weigh I weigh more but I didn't I don't think I looked too like I don't think I looked unhealthy when I was a child um and that was so that was in eighth grade It was like a th000 calories everything

that you did exercise wise you put it you logged it in and it gave you more you could eat essentially so so basically like calories a day is freaking starvation St starvation diet um this is like and by the way people talk about like oh should your kids have phones and they're thinking about Snapchat and Twitter and all this stuff here I am like I had no idea I didn't know that you had this app until you Told me the other day yeah like I and that was in seventh grade and even if I would

have seen it even if I would have seen it I probably would have just been like oh well she's you know whatever I oh she's being healthy moning her health good that's good but that was in seventh grade and now I'm what 20 I'm 23 now mhm so but in college you were what I was still using that in college so in college I went to college when I was 18 So um I started using it when I was 14 years old so and but I wasn't too rigid when I when I like going through

high school like there were times where I'd be super on it and then you know you have family dinners and things like that and whatever but in college that's the thing everything is controllable like everything you can say no no one no one is living with you to be like you good you should go to the dinner whatever and so I was so soaked because I was like Hiding it the whole like I was hiding it a long time but I didn't really feel like it was something to hide it was just like this is

just what I'm doing and I'm losing weight and that's good and that's like and your mind it's yeah so I didn't it wasn't like I was hiding this huge secret that I that to my like from my parents and stuff but I just simply like didn't I just kept it to myself this is what I should be doing and then yeah when and Then and then Co came is that did did Coen come your freshman year of college yeah so that was my freshman year of college and now it's like Beyond full control yeah cuz

now you're just can't even go anywhere and it's like I got total control over everything in the world yeah did you have to go to classes or classes coming home from me was really hard to do because of that because of the everything that I Bought like everything that I wanted to consume I bought everything was under my control so going home for me was really like hard to do because everyone's eating dinner no no one's weighing anything no one's like my mom isn't measuring out the tablespoons in her butter that she's putting in the

pasta so like that was I did not like to come home that often I was like I was like oh this is going to be so hard like driving home and then when i' come back it' be Like time to get back on track like you know that cycle of it so so you home in quarantine and actually we were living in like a smaller house at the time yeah so you and both your sisters were in one room yeah and then we eventually kicked your sister out into the living room but uh it was

kind of good cuz you got to hang out with your sister kind of close for a while old sister me and my older Sister didn't really talk in high school we like ran in different groups and like just liked different things and we never really talked I I don't even really remember talking to her like at all honestly and then and then during Co we we slept on a bunk bed together and like got super close immediately just just became like came back as like two different like people from who we were in high school

and it was like so much fun we we would like Co made us so so Close which is fun this reminds me of um so I had this rule Echo Charles yeah another good thing for parenting I had a rule in my own head for when my kids were little and that is like I will never tell them to like be quiet if they want to play guitar play guitar they want to play piano play piano they want to sing sing they want to dance dance like I was never going to be I was never

going to stifle any creativity and I kept that rule and I Never stifled creativity and certainly would never disrespect my kids by telling them to shut up right like I never told my kids to shut up in fact I in the past 20 years I've only told someone to shut up I think four times and it was the same person okay and that person y was Rana and it was all during covid and Each time I did it she smiled and nodded and said okay so we're in this little house during Co and my two

daughters who both have really good singing voices they were both like the lead in the school play the musicals and all this stuff they both have really good voices they would freaking sing as loud as they could y the dumbest things over and over again for hours for hours and Rana has this an especially Powerful voice do you know who Adele is of yes like she can sing Adele songs okay all right and like good yeah louder than Adele yeah Adele has to use a microphone R need a microphone I understand so there was a

few times during Co where these two girls would be like scream don't you have a name for scream singing or something belting they would be belting as loud as they could yeah and I'd be in my room and just come out and be like Rana shut Up so she kind of had it come into to her no and each time she each time she like she totally knew like I like forget like when my dad's on calls I always yell and my mom's like bro he's on a call and and this is something else I

talk about so there's different leadership skills that a person can have and some of them are genetic and like like if you're going to be if you play basketball it's genetically good to be taller obviously well if you're a Leader it's good to have a loud voice and having a loud voice is genetic and the reason I know it's genetic is because I have a loud voice and all my kids have a loud voice and so like there's a lot of noise that can come from from my kids y so it was cool that you

got to hang out with your sister it was a little hard on my ears but um that was good live by the sword die by the sword that's what we Call it in the industry so the the freshman year the covid thing the quote unquote quarantine cuz the the willink house wasn't so much of that varing levels of AC very levels uh we were kind of just getting after it um but then but then for your sophomore year so this must be why you went back to slow at the beginning of the year for your

sophomore year because you were Like oh I don't want to be at home with all this freaking butter unweighted butter in the pasta well I think it was I think yeah that definitely played a part and it also just like being in a room with three of your sisters like it just was crowded so I just went back up not really like looking back I'm sure that played an impact but in everything made sense in my mind that's what happens you you make it makes sense you're like doing it for a reason and You're conin

especially when you don't tell your parents or don't tell anyone that's close to you everything is so like perfect in your mind like this is this is it I'm on track boom you're if if you have a little thought like is this is this like should I be doing like should I enjoy myself a little bit more you're just like no if I want to see progress and then it all just makes sense in your mind you know what I think is a really good red flag for life is What you just said about when

you're not telling anyone so when if you're doing things that you're not telling people you hear this with alcoholics right like the alcoholic is drinking a bottle of wine at night alone and they don't tell anyone but they tell themselves it's just wine actually there's there's re resr and wine it's kind of good for you and plus it helps me sleep like they they're just making those things up so If there's things in your life and I've had friends that have that have had bad issues and they don't say anything about it and I'm like

bro that was going on you didn't like tell me what was happening so I think that's a really good red flag for everybody remember if there's things going on in your life that you're not telling anyone and and yet you've convinced yourself that it's okay but you know deep inside you know you couldn't convince anyone else of That and everyone else would be like bro what are you doing so that's a very good red flag of of checking yourself because we can all say you know what I just I just uh like having a drink

on the weekends what's the big deal and it's just a few beers and my wife's already asleep so who care you see what I'm saying you're just lying to yourself but and you can get away with that but you know if you told some other People they'd be like hold on and even if you even if you have the idea you're like well why am I even telling someone it's not not that big of a deal either yeah cuz exactly what's what's what's what's three beers a night or six beers I mean occasion so you

don't want to be that dramatic person that because in your mind you convince is not a big deal you're like uh I don't need to go tell someone because then they're going to be like cuz in your mind it all makes sense You think their reaction is going to be like okay well why are you like telling me this you know like okay you're like making sure you healthy that makes sense because in my mind I'm like I'm just being healthy I'm just being healthy so that's that's good go ahead would you consider just thinking

back would you CU there's certain levels of this thing right it's not just like you you know so let's say if you were to break it into three Levels one is like we'll say normal we'll say run-of-the-mill just you know as far as your regard for we'll call it your relationship with food and and weight and you know physique or whatever and then you have the next level up is what we might call what Obsession and then the level three is uh disorder you know I like people are straight up eating disorders you know see

what I'm saying would you say you're in the obsession scenario or not even that or Like what would where let us continue the story oh okay so more no I think this is where we're getting into full Obsession brushing up against or entering into what's the LA what's the highest level you gave disorder yeah and I guess there there's got to be something around Beyond disorder which is like or maybe something in between yeah I'm sure like I I feel it feels like it's a whole Spectrum yeah that's that's but when you got back up

To slow were you were you could you go to classes so now this is like 2020 the fall of 2020 could you go to classes um no we had remote remote classes so now you're literally in your room oh yeah I was in my room and now you have you had uh complete control before and now you have even more control and keep in mind I I was able to bring a car up so you have the dining hall of your freshman year you can go to like the store that they have on campus but

a lot of times And shout out to kol they put their calories on everything too that you eat so like it was pretty it was fairly easy to do but when I went to the grocery store like that was my sophomore year when I had a car and I was no classes by myself bro yes full full psycho yeah you full psycho so you're you're weighing your food yeah all vegetables everything everything I put into my like mouth yeah you had a food scale like a miniature Food scale because if you no I can't never

mind go ahead we're here no no cuz I don't want to because because if you measure things it's not that it's not accurate and if you have a tablespoon it's not accurate as opposed to a gram and we would learn that like like I was a nutrition science major which because I was like so obsessed with food in high school I was looking at the options for college and I was like well I guess I'm Really passionate about and that's what I would played off as passion and I just loved like I loved like food

and blah blah blah so I picked nutrition science as my my major which made it like so much worse and that's which is so good it's a great major like it helps a lot of people but it is it is common and I remember learning this in class it is common for people that struggle with that type of thing to pick that major mhm well it's Also common because they want to go back and help like that's like I just saw a video of a guy who's like I did Dermatology because I had really bad

acne as a kid and so it's sort of that like that like you you have an interest in it even though even though I was in the depths of it I just was like oh yeah because I'm so passionate about it I'm just going to make this my job I didn't really care about anything else so when you said we could cut it out basically What you're saying we cut out is because is I don't want to get I don't want to make people be like okay I'm not accurate with my weighing like with qu

cup so you're saying will'll make people more paranoid than they yeah they'll be like okay I need to go by a scale to be I don't know just just just you have to like there's very few PE like there's most people are like oh whatever you know I know I just it just like anything you see online it's like it's like People people there's like accounts of of tips for for how people lost lost weight it's like there's accounts for like here's here's how to help you it's like only eat this like it'll be it'll

be like meal Inspirations and it'll be like a plate of cucumber like I'm not even kidding there's a side of the internet that's like it's like they call it like I think I they just call it like anorexic like inspiration they call it Inspiration they they wait do they call it anorexic inspiration they call it like weight loss inspiration anorexic inspiration like inspo like people posting their like how skinny they are inspiration and there's like I know it's that's why I'm like I don't know you got to try lightly with this type of stuff but

yes it's not accurate well actually I think it's I don't I don't want you to tread too lightly because there's someone that's listening to this right Now that would be like oh gosh I think that way yeah I think it's actually very healthy that you say this kind of stuff because someone's rationalizing it right now and not being like wait a second a tablespoon and I was worried about you know4 of a gram extra sugar yeah that's not very healthy to be obsessed around that yeah and and also like going back like if you're weighing

out your baby carrots let's like let's just like You're eating baby carrots that's like yeah yeah good bro like you're good you know I would I would venture to say you can't eat too many baby car carrots but guess what you can and you know why I know that cuz I did so I had I had like a couple bags of baby carrots I sitting around and there was probably nothing else to eat and so I was just chowing on these baby carrots and all of a like 4 hours later my stomach was in knots

and it Turns out you can't digest that many baby carrots the vegetables so be careful well I don't think you have to be that careful for that scenario but um the yeah well you can eat too much of anything you can drink too much water true so okay and I think that's where you went that's the Zone plus your you so whatever but the calories and stuff you're allowed I think FDA or whatever you know you're allowed 20% leeway of as far as accuracy goes you know how they Give fudge F you know like er

or whatever and I think it's like 20% Which when you think about it if you're obsessing over anything especially calories but macros as well it's kind of like 20% it's kind of a lot I'm trying to be precise even like even things it'll say well three pieces of bread is this many calories two pieces of bread is this many calories but when you put it on the scale it's not the same weight of the serving size that it gives you so It it like you if you really want to be accurate then you can do

so in way because people will be like well they they said that 30 gram is the serving size and that's three pieces of this but it's actually 32 if you put three pieces on the scale so this is when you know you have issues quite honestly well no I was like well you didn't know but I'm saying to the general populace if you're like weighing the two pieces of bread which are supposed to have a weight of 30 gr and they have a a weight of 34 gram and so you carve off four G yeah

right this is where you were at yeah 100% um yeah especially if the motivation is just looks like you know obviously you have your well exactly right but it's kind of like hey I'm looking in the mirror and giving me these kinds of emotions now I'm going to go be Obsession then yeah I feel like that's kind of an in congruent relation it was like looks but Also in my mind it like scratched in itch like when I'd have like certain like when I knew everything that was like I was eating it was like so

satisfying I don't know why it and I was and and I would shave off the bread be like yeah like okay it made sense in my mind because I could put the 30 30 in there and it you put the amount of grams so this this time I had a different app when I got older and it like was a calorie tracker and it went back to your Phone and you can like see how much exercise was your wrist calorie track was one oh yeah the wearable track and they and those track that's even more

they're not they they haven't been proven to be accurate but I was like I just took it at face value like this is this is and that's way more accurate than just being like I did something for an hour like so it actually more accurate than just guessing no my first app would be like if you can put in an Hour of wrestling mhm and it would give a general but this is like it has your heart rate okay so I trusted it more which makes sense right like it's more trustable and you started going

to like an underground uh Speak Easy CrossFit gym at this point yeah so that it was during covid when we when we didn't have classes and one of my friends started working out at just a warehouse that had like wasts And stuff and and sometimes workout classes as well and I just started doing that instead cuz we could cuz our recck Center waso was um closed down yeah um you you were working out I remember you telling me or you told me the other day that one of your friends was like scared of your workouts

because you were going psycho well so that was freshman year mhm when I lived in the dorm and I would have to do like certain things like I Would be really really tired and I was not like feeling myself well and I would just be like I have to hit this this number I'm like sorry like I'm not going to leave until I do of stpp or whatever on the stair stepper yeah and again just so like a warning to everyone here this I didn't know about any of this I was just like oh yeah

of course my daughter works out she's been working out since she was literally 5 years old of course she's working out didn't think Twice about it never thought twice about it yeah oh she eats healthy yeah dude I mean I don't know uh like you know I used to be like that with like hey kids don't eat that it's freaking garbage like eat healthy don't you know like I would do that I would say that to you guys for so for you to grow up and be like oh that's garbage I don't want to eat

that I want to eat this I'd be like oh cool and then for you to be like oh yeah well I only eat a Certain amount because I want to be healthy I would still this wouldn't it would I would have had to have a lot of voluntary information from you that you would only have given me if you wanted to and I wasn't going to and you weren't going to and like I told you it's not it it wasn't even like healthy foods though it's like it's one thing it's I mean I did I

did eat healthy foods a lot of the time but like for Example this place this grocery store next to us had this chicken alfredo and on the back it at a,10 calories and that was cutting my my limits that's that's how much I could have and so I would wait all day so that that like isn't like oh you know that that like like I love chicken alfredo obviously but it wasn't like it wasn't like I'm eating healthily it's like I'm just like that was that was was like no food it was like this big

and I would Just save my whole day for that and just be like okay I got my calories and yeah but I wouldn't really think about that like I'd see you eating chicken alfredo and I'd be like oh what you know what I mean it's just like oh I didn't really know that you didn't eat anything else that day you know what I mean yeah um but now that now that you're now that you were back up at school though when did this happen with this you were you were um telling the story about how

you Took a cooking class so now were you guys back in CL was my S year so for nutrition science class we had to take a mandatory three-hour cooking class and each each week you get a separate like menu three hours per week three hours per week just once once a week like it was like I think mine was on Wednesday and on Wednesday you got a menu you had a little like you had a team and you made this food and we like all had a pot look At the end of everyone's menu that

you bring and the food was like crispy chicken thighs like mashed potatoes with so much delicious butter brownies homemade like homemade pita homemade hummus like we' all make different things and we'd all put it on this long table and it's a 10 we course I did not eat a bite of our food that we made for the whole 10 weeks and my teacher said as a chef as a food scientist you have to taste your food And see what it needs like if it needs salt if it needs pepper no don't trick me like that

no I was like I did I did not try it I said can you try this food I would ask my partners can you try it is it is it good enough is it salty enough I wouldn't even touch it D yeah but in my mind that's why I said I know I have so much discipline right right right but then in my mind as we were talking about it made so much sense to me like it it is not in my control and Like that that's like what are you going to track a bite

like how you don't even know how much stuff is in that bite you don't know how much butter is in the mashed potatoes you don't you can't you can't track it so better off just leaving it mhm um and I was that made so much sense in my head I honestly was like so proud of myself too I was like [ __ ] period I like made it the 10 weeks and that's that and then it wasn't until like a couple of weeks ago when I Spoke at the women's assembly where I was trying to

think of stories cuz I didn't want to say I was I was restricting myself I wanted to come I wanted to like convey what what the nature of it wash and I feel like that's when I remembered that story and I was like and I just blocked it out because it's like I I I don't I wish I tried all the food obviously but you know is what it is so is That would you say that as like something or or how did you how did you feel like there's what made you say this is

not correct I am not this isn't healthy this isn't good for me what made you think that was there like a straw that broke the camel's back I know that you also told me you like weren't going out with your friends because you were just like well I don't know where they're going I don't know what they're going to be eating so I'd rather just Stay home cuz it's better and I'll be stronger and more disciplined if I just stay in my house yeah well so basically going to college I thought like I I would

say like I struggled with food like I would say it in the past tense like talking about senior year of wrestling like I would say I struggled with food but it's all good now and um because now I have control exactly so cuz cuz when I was in high school it felt a little bit more out of control in A sense that like I didn't I did not measure anything in like I would be like I guess I get I guess I had like three caros tacos but you can't like weigh out like the me

the tortillas so I would be in class and just be like I struggle or like not in class I would tell my friends like oh yeah I struggled with this in high school but you know it's it's fine now and I think in my mind the first two years of college I I did not really Think that it was that much of an issue until like even in that class I didn't think it was that much of an issue I just thought I was like dialed you know just freaking super squared away and disciplined imagine

um and I guess it it wasn't the it wasn't my behavior it was like my mind mind that was my Breaking Point my mind I could not shut it off for like I I had so much trouble falling asleep because I would just constantly Think about every like how I looked everything that I ate what I was going to wear how I was going to be perceived like the bodywise to other people that I I I was going like I was driving myself actually insane so it wasn't any of the behaviors that I was like

okay maybe I should stop doing this this is I was like I cannot do this anymore this is like making me go actually insane and I was like I think I talked to my friend about it my friend Bella And she and I was like I don't think I could do this anymore like I if I have to continue to live life like this like I can't like I remember being like what if I have to weigh my wedding cake on my wedding like I remember thinking that like what if I'm worried about that on

my wedding day like that was like I was like dude I I I this is not healthy bro like I yeah this is this is not so it wasn't it wasn't like my behavior per se because in my because I was like I was Saying this was right like I was convincing myself it was right in my behavior but my mind I was like saying such negative things to myself I was like dude I cannot continue to like be like this or else it's going to be a freaking nightmare you know so and then eventually

you realized you wanted to get like someone to help you out through the situation yeah so basically after I've realized I can't do this anymore I talked to my friend and I was like I Think I'm going to try to like fix it by myself because I didn't want like same same thing like since seventh grade I hadn't said anything really so I was like I I'm just going to watch YouTube videos about people who maybe were struggling with the same things and just like try to help myself but then I had I still had

that back and forth of like you're being dramatic you don't need help because it was in my own mind I was like bro why are you like why Are you like making it more of a bigger deal than it is so I was like okay this is that's that's sort of when I realized like I I I want to reach out so that I can like have someone that holds me like accountable or like helps me you know yeah so you called me and Mom yeah and you're like like yo I need I need some

help here's what's going on yeah I I just immediately started crying mhm but I don't think you really remember this conversation too much I don't remember It too much I remember and we talked about this the other day I was like a little bit confused yeah because to me you were the perfect child you know what I mean I mean no but I mean to me you were just awesome you were always like super confident like you did not you were the you were one of the most confident humans I'd ever known and so when

you're like I don't feel good about myself and I'm like who who is this you know what I mean but luckily also at That time um you know we had Jordan Peterson on the podcast years before this and I learned something from him what I learned from him was that there's problems that people have and there's people that know how to fix those problems like I I didn't understand that before in my life it it was Jordan Peterson like hanging out with him and talking literally when he's on my podcast I was like oh cuz

he was Explaining that it was it was um exposure therapy he's like oh yeah when someone's scared of needles here's what you do you put a needle in the room you tell them that there's needle in the room you have them walk to the door and touch the door and then a week later you open the door and they see that the needle's on the desk and then a week later and you and and I was like oh he knows how to do this he knows how to fix that problem and by the way if

you're Scared of this or if you you have trouble talking to people or if there's all kinds of problems that you can have in your life and there's people that know how to fix those problems and the way I ended up saying it I don't know if I said it to him that time but eventually what I told people is like when you have a problem with your car you don't just like start yeah you know fidd fiddling with it you go to especially nowadays you go to a mechanic Cuz in the old days you

could figure it out nowadays with these new cars you ain't figuring anything out there's computers there's stuff in there can't figure out so nowadays you take your car you bring a thing he's got a Diagnostics machine he plugs in and goes oh here's the problem and they can sort that problem out and then you can use your car then you can use your car again and it all turns out good so when you were talking I was like okay Well I was confused at first but I was like okay well obviously it's something that's like

the fact that you were crying I was like oh my gosh and Mom of course is like the most uh supportive awesome person ever and so we were like cool do what you know find someone that you can talk to to help you out and that's what you did yeah well mom actually sent me like she sent me someone that that her friend recommended like she went out and looked for Therapist for me mhm and she actually found my therapist which is nice mom's awesome yeah she was like this girl doesn't have enough doesn't isn't

taking clients right now but she has a friend who's really awesome and I went to the friend and I've been with her ever since and so the primary thing that she do did to you is ask you questions is that right explain this to me what she's talking to you about cuz I still don't Know I've had this conversation with a lot of people we've had it on the podcast a couple times I was like what do they do to you what do they say to you they don't do anything to you so what do

they do what do they say you so basically you tell them like they they don't know you and this was over Zoom because it was Co and IA was living in slow and she's in the area and they basically have like multiple days where they're just asking You questions it's not they're not trying to figure anything out or at least my my um therapist wasn't but they just ask you questions just to get to know you and then you start like pulling threads but they're not pulling the threads it's you it's them asking you question

how did that make you feel about it and saying things out loud was like it was all the stuff that I was telling myself in the in my head and when I said it out Loud I was like dude that's not chill mhm like that that's that's like the biggest like help in my opinion like is you will convince your mind like you always talk about this you convince your mind that this is the right path and and I shouldn't work out today because I have all this stuff going on right so in my mind

it's like I every your mind was the opposite you should work out today it doesn't matter how you feel you need to get in there you need to Burn these extra calories you need do this yeah yeah but but you always talk about like excuses making excuses for yourself well I was doing that in a sense making everything that I was doing okay in my mind that when I said it out loud I was like bro this is like not not okay and she would like ask me questions and we would change we would change

subjects if I was crying too much and she was like oh we can go to like she's the nicest but it's more just pulling Out the strings why why why did this happen why do you feel like this why do you talk to yourself like that try try like how do you think telling yourself that specific sentence how do you think that like makes you feel or how do you think you can say that in a way that like is better for yourself than than negatively you know you made it seems like you made um

progress but you were also like Exhausted kind of yeah well well because I was like coming to terms with so much stuff like we were talking about my childhood we were talking about like all this stuff and I was like holy but I knew like she said it's going to be hard work it's not going to be fixed like in a day it's been since seventh grade till I was like 20 at the time yeah so I was like so physically and mentally exhausted I would like after therapy I remember just laying in bed for

an hour Just like bro like what the heck just happened like I would just be like and even even to the day to this day I will sit in my car and just be like thinking about it just me just ex it does exhaust you because they're asking you the question questions you don't want to like answer you don't want to like say say it out loud you don't like want to admit that you ever like did that to yourself you know what I mean MH how long did it take before you stop Wearing your

calorie tracker that like did you do that was that quick were you like holy crap this is so jacked up I'm taking this thing off it was like a couple of a couple of weeks after I like decided like this is I I I just want to change what about the food scale the food scale I I I so so when I tried to fix it myself I upped my calories but I was still tracking everything so I was like okay perfect I'll just get myself 1,600 Calories like that's enough plus I work out that

that gives me like 1,800 whatever MH it was fine in my head made sense the common theme of this of this but um yeah I I pretty much immediately stopped stopped I I yeah I pretty much immediately stopped it was really really hard too but my therapist was like you need why are you doing that like she would ask me questions about why I'm Doing that and I knew that I wanted to get better so I just stopped wearing my watch stopped tracking my food and stopped working out as a whole mhm because I was

like so exhausted and I just working had such a Negative like connotation at that point and it sucks because I loved working out so much like my whole life I was working out yeah and I like had I had made it into such a thing of like negative like You're going to do this because you want to eat food later and you're going to do this because you ate last night you went over so you need to do this it was like it was like it was like because I did not like how I looked

did not like how I feel that's why I'm going to work out not because I wanted to feel healthy wanted to feel strong which I felt that before but it just got to that point where I was like this is not like not one part of me wanted to go especially Not wearing the watch especially not tracking anymore I was like bro I'm just going to chill cuz I've been in this in this head ping pong for so long that I was like it's done and then you were saying after a few weeks of that

you were like all right I'm going for a walk yeah and that was kind of your re-entry into the like doing something physically that you were like oh this is kind of nice yeah and I noticed you still go for walks I do I do I do like going for Walks yeah I like to I when I when I'm like cutting weight for Jiu-Jitsu I like to go on walks I think it's it's nice it's like I I I really liked just being outside especially when it was C that was the only time I was

outside my gym shut down or the wreck shut down and then I stopped going to that like Warehouse thing because I was like I don't want to work out anymore so then I started going on walks and it was like really nice I really liked it and listen To podcasts on the walks and just like what podcast did you listen to jao podcast no I I listen to a variety of things I listen I definitely listen to Joo podcasts I listen to like um huberman and I listen to like comedy podcasts as well MH and

just like murdered podcast just just various things and sort of get my mind off of it then you signed up for uh you started going to Headstrong the gym up and slow it's an awesome gym by the way it's a Freaking awesome gym um you went there like now were you like I I'm not I'm working out cuz I like the cuz like to work out M yeah I I just wanted kind of there's a little bit of like if you're an alcoholic and you're like all right I'm going to quit drinking and then you're

like you know what though I'm just going to have a couple beers tonight it seems like you know what I mean you could it doesn't seem like it would be a hard Road a a slippery slope to slip back down so you must have had a really good mindset change I think I think I was like I felt so like free after I stopped doing all that stuff the issue was the nighttime because I would like a lot of times during the day I kept I kept myself busy I didn't want to like sit and

think about think about food think about what I looked like and then at night it was like my heartest like that was when I Was maybe like I would I would say as close to that like I'll just have a few beers like bro I'll just I'll just give myself 2,000 Cal like I would I like that was my hardest was falling as sleep at night because I would just go through everything and I'm I'm not following the the regimen anymore so like it was really difficult but I started I started working out I don't

really remember I think I just started working out a couple of times a week when before I would was working out every day mhm yeah and just just doing very like basic basic like leg day squats and two other exercises that's it just just squats and like rdls and accessory accessory I can't believe you weren't there for me on that one Echo was what Echo occasionally he gets a good hell yeah in there especially about something like that um so so you're work you start working out again you're walking want to Do it I I

would just I would just not that's good um you end up coming home after your sophomore year uh for summer and at the end of summer we all went to the origin Jiu-Jitsu camp in Maine did you want to go no I don't think anyone with my family well that summer FR and I that's what I was talking about earlier on FR and uh my sister and I were going to like noie classes like Thursday just to Beat each other up like we just thought it was fun and then my dad text into family group

chat like mhm family origin trip Camp smiley face freaking hostile hostile freaking family right here yeah and all the girls from the family went yeah the boy couldn't go but but you got there and what happened um magic I'm just kidding um I I I didn't do all the session ah maybe I did I think I did a lot of the sessions I'm like I'm here and then I was everyone was rolling and like this person asked me to roll and I was like sure and I just like I I was like bro this is

so fun and I remembered stuff even though I I hadn't I did a little bit of like Club wrestling in college but like nothing serious that was before covid and then um I just like I just it was so fun so much fun and I remembered stuff and and I I got The sense of like that I didn't get when I was a kid was like beating someone for once um and yeah it was it was it was pretty awesome and also just surrounded by such like cool coaches and like it was just sick and

I was honestly kind of like bummed because I was like damn I'm like a white belt you know and I was like 20 yeah so I was darn it but I came home I went I went back to college wait why darn it cuz you cuz you Didn't start earlier I was like dude this is this is so fun and I'm and and I like all the girls from the family lined up and I was like a white belt and we were all white belts I'm like I feel like damn it you know what I

mean a little bit a little bit but I wasn't like I wasn't like super bummed at myself I was just like oh this this is really fun Helen revoked herself to white belt huh Helen was a blue belt wait she from Fabio yeah she can't do That she got to wear that blue belt you don't lose a belt I I somewhat agree with you but I'm not going to she didn't want that's not F that's not my fight to have over here bro but I Big's going to do what Big H she she we were

rolling together at the camp or we were doing the technique together and it was super fun and I was like kind of getting after it yeah the thing is Helen is like really athletic and also Really strong so when she was training back in the day she was like really good M and then she just got pregnant for like 10 years and she just and had kids like she was like you got three kids dude like you're not training when you got three kids under the age of six like you're you're under the age of

five under the age of four y so she didn't train but she still like she still I was like helping her with the moves and I was like oh you're A blue Bel and I'm a white Bel helping you all right well look hey look I'm not going to make a big thing out of this but your belt is not up to you okay it's not up to you it's up to the guy who gave you the belt yeah so you can't be like hey just like you can't say hey I'm good enough to wear

a blue belt when you're still a white belt Helen can't be like you know what I've been kind of studying up so I I think I should be a purple belt you can't do that you can't Do it the other way either you can't do it anyway you know why because it's not up to you yeah I'm going leave you guys with that please well I'll let you I'll let you bring that up to hell I'm not going to tell her that no um so then you get back to college and now you got a

little bit of like the desire to train that Jiu-Jitsu and you go to Paragon slow yeah I searched up Jiu-Jitsu jyms near Me mhm clicked on like the first one booked the class online and just like showed up at noon mhm in the ghee hell yeah but uh yeah and I I was just training a couple time couple of times a week one time you called me after like a week and you were crying yeah explain um so yeah I FaceTime my dad and all this I I my dad was not in my ear like

you should go try had a Jiu-Jitsu gym you should look one up paragon's good I was like I looked it up I didn't Even tell you I was going to my first class I think I called you after something no I think a brother paid for it over here but that's just Echo no it was free it was a free first say it after that first one after that after that invoice rolled in I think big papa got got to called in um but yeah it was very fun I I just I just like I

honestly have always like loved fighting I just think that things things clouded in my mind in wrestling That's that's all like I think I really like did love wrestling I just like had other other stuff in my mind that kind of kind of decreased my love for it like at State I feel like I I like wasn't even present there because I was like worried about other stuff you know like I I feel like this was my second like chance to to cuz I did love fighting so I start so I start doing Jitsu I'm

yeah you brought that up earlier you brought that up earlier and I'm just going to rehash on this you were saying like even though you would complain about Jiu-Jitsu even when you were little when you would go against someone else in class like you would go to yeah 100% like you like to fight and you like to win and that was evident and then we just had some kind of a mob mentality going on um but yeah so that it might have gotten clouded in wrestling in your senior year cuz you're like Worried about weight

and calories and all that stuff so now you show up and now you realize you can just fight people and I saw wrestling like as just a thing to input into my like app it wasn't even like I was like okay bro when's the hour going to be over like so I can put down an hour of of working out you know but when I found Jiu-Jitsu again like I did I didn't have the app I didn't have a Tracker I would just go And I would I wouldn't even look at the clock genuinely it

would the hour would go by so quickly it was just like you just wanted to keep rolling like let's just stay you know what I mean but it's like that shift of of doing doing something because like for the right reasons instead of the wrong and Jiu-Jitsu like helped me so much with that back to the question I asked about when you called me when you were crying after like a week just it's a good Lesson for everybody yeah I was crying because no one I I think I exaggerated my head that no one wanted

to roll with me and she's been there for a week yeah I've been there for a week and I was like I just I just left I was like all the guys are picking each other no one wants to roll with me but no one knew me like and I didn't like introduce myself to anyone like I wasn't making I was just like They don't want to roll with me even though I wasn't like hey my name is R can we roll I was just like in the corner like not making eye contact like bro

no one wants to roll with you because especially I I've heard from a lot of guys that they wait for the girl to like make eye contact so that that you can roll right and I was just like you know not looking not looking at all and I and I call my dad I'm like no one wants to roll with me and everyone's Friends and everyone during the warm-ups is like in their little groups and I was just like alone and but I didn't introduce myself to anyone I just walked in silent sat down and

you know that's that but I call him I'm like balling I still have a picture from it I'm just like no one wants to roll with me and he goes like he said just stick with it thousands of people come and go especially in Jiu-Jitsu like people sign up to try it Out and then they leave these people these people don't want to make friends with someone that's there for one day and then dip mhm although everyone at Paragon was really really sweet and nice it's it's it's just how it is I guess and then

the longer I stuck around I called my dad like a couple of weeks later I said I have like a friend group and and I'm going to lunch with them after open math MH it was really cute because and also it's so Funny cuz it's like all such people that you that I would never interact with like I'm in college I'm like hanging out with people that are 20 years old same as me and I'm going to lunch with like this random 40-year-old construction worker dude and like this other guy who's an engineer and then

you know it's like I I swear people are like what's going on over there but you know they were so awesome and like looked out for me like and once once they knew that I Was going to stick around they brought me in like so quickly and we helping me roll with me like show me technique like it was was amazing yeah yes it is yeah um you you were telling me that like now this was something that you were doing where you are doing it it's like basically a non vanity exercise you're doing it

just cuz it is freaking fun yeah 100% And also it helped me a lot with those like with just shutting off your mind which is not it's not always Good necessarily always to shut off your mind because you have to like conf front the things that you are thinking like that's your brain but for an hour especially when the thoughts are like not helping in any way you're just you're it's just going back and forth like this is not helping me I need to go do something that takes my mind off of it and like

lifting it's just kind of monotonous like I I like lifting it just you're still thinking About things that like when you're lifting or when I was lifting at least and when I was doing Jiu-Jitsu like I seriously would go out and be like bro like what was I even like I I'm like I didn't even think about one thing that is outside of the M like I was just like so interested in it and like wanted to learn wanted to like get better wanted to fight like I just thought it was so fun MH and

it it helped me so much with building back my relationship with Exercise mhm and you started competing too pretty quick yeah my friend my friend like we I I started training like I trained a couple days a week and then I was training every day MH and then I my friend was like should we do this competition and we Alex yeah Alex tavs he was like let's do this competition and I'm like all right let's do it it was like gj2 world league I we had to drive like three hours to get there or Something

and it was fun it was good how'd you do good I got like third or second in ghee and first in no ghee it was good even though you're training mostly ghee at that time I was training a lot of ghee yeah there was one day that was no gee they um more of like a traditional school and honestly it was really I I look back and I'm grateful that I trained ghee because I think if I started anywhere else and they had no ghee options I would never have gone to Ghe I seriously would

never have and G is so frustrating especially like as a wrestler and I did like when when I got the when I got the feeling to train jiujitsu it would always be nogee like with me and my sister and so four days of the week it and Open Mat was all ghee mhm so ghee it is that that just showed that I I was like bro I don't like ghee but I'm gonna like I'm going to do it but it's also interesting that you won nogee even though you weren't training It well I was train

yeah I was yeah it's because you cuz you have the wrestling background and you have uh you some of you Jiu-Jitsu was noi based from am day yeah um didn't when when was that viral video was that that year yeah that was at that competition oh was at that competition yeah my first tournament back oh my gosh so so you saw the video right did you see the viral video yeah it's uh so basically it was my it was like Semifinals for noi and it was both of our first competitions I'm pretty sure I I

I talked to her and and I like locked in a choke and I I did not know I I was like oh she's chilling because um it's competition people don't tap and and I thought it wasn't like secure enough and I was just like and she was belly down so she was belly down you had hooks in it was pretty and but she was flattened and you had your Hooks in so which was weird about that the reason that's important is because her legs weren't like laying on the ground limp because of your legs being

in there her legs look like she was like active but you put her to sleep yeah and the ref didn't know the ref the ref was standing up and I didn't I like didn't really know what to do I I definitely should have let go but I was so traumatized by it after hold on also just real quick her the coaches or I don't know if it's coaches but people were also while she was unconscious cuz once you watch the video you're like oh she's asleep right there I was looking up at the ref like

but coaches were like I don't know if coaches but people on her side on her her supporters were like you know grab the hand grab the hand yeah so they're so you hearing people coaching her that's another indicator to you just like okay well just hang on finally her coach realized what was Happening and ran in and stopped it pushed me off of her the ref didn't stop the match yeah the coach did but yeah so they like flipped her over and she was like purple yeah so the coach came in finally broke it up

and then uh you know it kind of went viral because you have a person that gets choked out and it's clear that the ref was and you you both were white belts yeah you know the the ref eventually figured out but or sorry the coach came in and stopped it So there was a the reason it went viral was because the ref didn't stop itach off and yeah and the the coach wasn't mad at you at all no he was mad at the ref um so yeah and you called me and you were all bummed

out and like all sad and like as you just said quote unquote traumatized well I in the moment in the moment I like it was it was really like scary i' never I never put anyone out before yep you know and I was like Squeezing that choke too like it was like No And when you put a choke on when you put anything on cuz you're little K can te of course that's the crazy thing I tell people this when you're learning like you teach someone that's just learning Jiu-Jitsu the rear naked choke it's like

now you can kill someone yeah and they're all freaked out but you know what's even crazier than that take a steak knife you can kill someone just as easy with a Steak knif just walk up and stick it in their freaking neck they're going to die but people get all freaked out when there's really like every time you start up your car you can kill somebody life is not you know that that robust and sturdy that you can survive a bunch of things so well I remember you called me and I was I I had

to you know be understanding but at the same time I said hey there's 10 people that get choked out at every jiu-jitsu tournament 10 people go to sleep 10 people are going to sleep I said no one's going to care about this I go other than the ref I go to be some people watch it some people make comments but whatever don't worry about it and so I think that might have helped a little bit what what really helped you is you went to class on Monday cuz I C I called you after you left

class on Monday I didn't even want to train like I was embarrassed I don't know yeah and yeah I went to class and Every were like good job yeah good job at the they they weren't even like good job no they like hey good job with the tournament I heard you you won she's like oh you didn't hear that I choke someone out uh no we don't care about any of that and the girl's good by the way I like messaged her and her coach and like apologized and they were like you don't we understand

yeah that girl seemed chill yeah she was really nice um and you and then you just kept Competing you've been competing competing and you're kind of wrapping up college but what I liked is right towards the end of college you learned one thing very important very important thing and that was your dad me despite maybe not approaching it in the best way I was actually right and the way that I was right was as part you were a nutrition science major but you also had A minor in what exercise and sports studies exercise and sports

studies and for one of those classes you had to do a Deca scan dexa dexa scan and that is it basically checks your your body your bone density your muscle density and it looks at you like internally and sees what you're constructed of and you got it done you got it done and you sent me the image the image because your actual density was off it was the it was the The highest possible point on the chart like there was no one else there it was 99.9 99.99th percentile of humans is what you are made

of there you go so that's I was like you sent me that I was like I told you I was right I was right like you are not normal dense you are dense like it's actually called a densitometry that's what it's called densitometry and it measures how dense you are and that's why when you were a Little kid I would pick you up and be like is this girl made of metal because she's heavy and of course I recognize now that that is not the best wording to use especially for a girl and this is

when you were real little but that's funny because I you know you ever heard Joe Rogan tell the story about yoel Romero so y yel Romero got his he got punched in the head I think he broke his orbital bone and they sent him to the hospital and they did xrays and some Doctor calls calls Dana White or Joe Rogan or something and is like yo where did you find this guy and they're like what do you mean they're like where is he from what this is not normal and they said what's what's not normal

they x-rayed him and the tendons in his eyes were like three times the size of a normal human and that's why that guy is just a a a maniac right I mean he's just he's built literally built different he's built different and that's that's What you are you're you're actually scientifically built different it's a weird genetic thing and it's like some things some things genetic you can take a little bit of genetic and you can also add some conditioning like like cold water right like we we were we were talking earlier about um like dunking

your heads and I would have contests to see you could dunk your heads but there's some people that are naturally going to be able to handle the cold Better than other people you got to see this in Seal training if you have a guy that's like uh maybe he's from Florida maybe he's like ripped like shredded he's going to have a hard time in the cold then you get some guy from Nebraska and he's well marbled and he's just like whatever dude I'll get in that cold uh but you can also but then you can

also get used to it you can you can you can increase your ability to handle cold water like and you guys were always Doing that I remember when you were little kids we were at Yosemite one time and the water in Yos coming out of the river Echo Charles it's coming from you know ice and it's but it's flowing down so it's it's not frozen anymore but it's 43° something like that and so I had a contest with the kids who can stay in the longest and her and her brother were in in There and

this this is cold water this is hypothermia water they and whoever could stay in the longest would get an ice cream my kids would do freaking anything for an ice cream makes sense so I put him in there and they're in there probably 42 degree water it's freaking cold and they're just Neck Deep Neck Deep just looking at me 30 minutes I'm looking at them waiting for one of them to do neither One of them was quitting and so and I look I like get in and look at their lips they're both their lips are

blue all their lips are blue and I just gave them both an ice cream color yeah good idea but see there's a level of the part of that's genetic part of it just mental will yeah yeah and part of it is conditioning but like you your bone dense your density as a human that's different that's like that's like a genetic thing and that's What you know Rogan I was told Rogan because you actually Randa told me that he had something he like said one time uh I want a girl who can help me move a

couch so I sent him that thing I sent I actually sent him the the the graph and I'm like I circled it with red cuz you if you didn't Circle it with red it's so far off the chart you wouldn't see it it's on the border yeah there's the I'm not even kidding the edge of the chart there it is like there's no one else There yeah and so I circled it and I explained it to him and um I told him I said hey you know you you say you know my daughter said you

you want a girl who can help you move a couch and um I told him I like dude if you need a couch moved like this girl's got it Solo solo activities uh but you know the thing is though is it's it's just interesting because you have this special you know um genetic Gift and because because of society and because of me and and just like you were you were at a at you were embarrassed of this gift that you had you know what I mean and that's just terrible so I'm glad that wrestling and

Jiu-Jitsu has brought it to a point where you recognize the the glory of it but it's not just genetics though because we've been lifting since we were like so young and lifting we learned in in like college was like helps your bones get so So strong and I think like lifting from such a young age and really like implementing that since we were what in elementary school you would make us get up and do workouts in the morning before school I think all I think all children can benefit from kettle bells in the morning there

you go I remember I would have like these metcon setup sure and they would be carrying the uh kettle bells up the alley like RAC and then kettle bell swings pull-ups Sprawls was a real big one sprawls was an early form of the Burpee yeah you know um but or burpees themselves but I would always have my kids sprawling sprawl sprawl sprawl here's a here's a a very solid workout for your children every minute on the minute five burpees I thought it was five pullup oh yeah no five burpees and then Max Pull-Ups or five

burpees Max dips or five burpees Max some other you can pick Any other exercise but you know five burpees takes depending you know 15 to 30 seconds depending on how hard your child is working sure and and how much you need to discipline them but then they have 30 seconds but it's it's very it's a crushing way to to work out especially when your two siblings are doing it with you and you they did five pull-ups and so you want to do a little bit more than them uh so that was good but that's That's

it was It was kind of redeeming when I saw that chart bro I was I was very excited about it I was like cuz it seemed like it seemed so obvious seemed real and now it's like well there you go yeah science yep factual factual and then from there when you graduate uated College then it was time to put that gift to use um now you're down here in in San Diego you work at Victory MMA and fitness you teach Jiu-Jitsu you train Jiu-Jitsu you train primarily at Victory MMA and Legion Legion ajj yes sir

sorry about that they Keenan and Miha yeah got a differentiate yeah I got differentiate that one um what what are you what's your schedule like when you wake up in the morning didju all the all the time every day uh yeah I I started training at Legion when uh Victory had the fire in it and there was nowhere to train I trained I trained in my friend's garage who who had mats And would train in the morning but that was at 6:00 a.m. and the rest of the day I was like I didn't have a

job because the gym burned down they were finding a temporary location and I still wanted to compete and I really had never tried out another gym in San Diego because Victor is here and I tried out a class at Legion because you my dad well you yeah me who is also my dad is friends with saloan and Miha and Keenan he would Train with them cross train and I started taking salon's class classes and J Flo's classes and training with Paige who is insanely good at Jiu-Jitsu and uh now that there's a temporary location I

started cross training and it's been amazing I have such good training partners and coaches at Victory and at Legion so it's good can't complain and then I love teaching the kids it's so Amazing um yeah and my ual yeah just train Jiu-Jitsu in the morning come home eat breakfast GO train Jiu-Jitsu again do J flow's classes twice a week get a have a private with Paige and J flow and just lift as much as I can and yeah teach the kids too yeah teaching kids coaching kids you're always at tournaments coaching kids um are you

are you in the sauna I bath game not really you're are you more well You definitely do them sometimes but you're just like a weekend warrior when it comes to those things or something um in the beginning I was like super into it into what part into the sauna ice bath I just slacking bro okay I don't know but I I like doesn't it make you feel good it it does but like I don't know the day is long of training I don't true it's like oh you feel like it gives you recovery though yeah

what I was going to say was when I Started wrestling again with j j flow is basically only wrestling and I hadn't really I really did a lot of Jiu-Jitsu on the ground I in my in Paragon we really didn't wrestle that often and I didn't really wrestle that much like since high school MH and when I started taking J flow's classes it was a gut check straight rounds on the feet no pulling guard lots of times we're just doing like wrestling rounds just get your two Points come back up mhm and I my like

middle back just from like my stance and holding my head up and getting my head like pushed down getting getting slammed getting like Judo thrown in the most elegant way bro my middle back was really like really hurting and the sauna that's when I started implementing the sauna yeah um a lot doing doing a stretch stretching routine in the sauna for like a couple of weeks and that that like helped so much but yeah just just Training Jiu-Jitsu and lifting what are you eating eating good mhm yeah there's no there's no like I don't follow

a strict diet or anything there's no like specific animal based like he I don't do any of that just I do eat red meat though lots of it and yeah just just trying to get protein in in the morning like I I normally will have like a m or protein pancakes or something of that sort just just cuz I have heinous I I probably just trained heinously and then I have heinous training after yeah um I can confirm that you drink a lot of freaking milk in our house I like I like this I like

making like smoothies with it like the powder yeah um so a few months ago I had some people visit down here in San Diego they were making a movie called way of the warrior kid and obviously in the movie way the warrior kid there's going to be kids that are Doing Jiu-Jitsu and the producer and the director or one of the producers and the director were like hey do you know anyone that could like help us with training the kids up in Jiu-Jitsu and this is MC G and and Ben everard and they like hey

do you know who do you have anyone that could help us train the kids in Jiu-Jitsu and I said uh I think I might have the ultimate person for that so you came up and helped out training these two kids Um avator and Jude Hill who play Mark and Nora in the movie way of the warrior kid and you trained you came up and trained them in Jiu-Jitsu how did you like that it was so so so fun it was so last minute um because you were like we got to check on the budget for

the movie and stuff and I was like all right I'm I teach kids Jiu-Jitsu like I we try to get it covered for as many weeks as I can and so I went I went up I think you told me like Saturday yeah and I went up On like Monday and it was so awesome and it was interesting because normally Jiu-Jitsu is such a long journey I mean think about my Jiu-Jitsu Journey it's been like over a decade yeah you just got your purple belt too by the way hey yeah purple belt right big okay

um and so it was going to be sort of different to because with the kids classes you only want to teach one or two moves a day because bro everyone just wants to roll Yeah and also they're not retaining like even I can't like even I can't pay attention to more than a couple moves in the in a Jiu-Jitsu class so but for this one it wasn't like we had all this time to teach them Jiu-Jitsu and the Eva had to be like higher rank in the movie so we had like 3 hours a day

of just straight up technique and they were they were Troopers for real it's can be so so to make it look Technical and good and I Know that that was your vision for the way of the warrior kid we didn't want it to look like silly like martial art like whatever so I I was it it was a cool challenge for me because it's it's different from teaching the kids at Victory it was like we have to do this and I I wanted them to understand that they understand Jiu-Jitsu cuz we did have some impromptu

scenes where they were like okay do do something and I was like oh and we thank Thankfully we went over a bunch of stuff that we hadn't planned on putting in it a fight coordinator for sure yeah what about even before we started filming you came up and when you were helping cuz you were right up with me you were like sitting in meetings you were in casting meetings and with me and MC G and Ben and Mar just like looking at people like wasn't that yeah it was and you also were there when we

were going through the script line by line were you there For that me yeah I was yeah so you're there when I line by line and you could see how this all comes to fruition as you said like like the the all the things that went into it that had to be awesome to watch yeah it was it was honestly crazy the whole because when I went I didn't know the progress of the movie yet so like having it called like the whole floor was all for where you your kid and I floor of a

building she's saying e Charles like this entire floor Of this building is all and it's a bunch of people too it's not it's not I I fully was like it's going to be a couple of dudes like like I was like all right let's see what let's see what's going to happen but this guy comes up to dad and he's like has the exact replica of his like glasses and I'm like what and he's like did I get this part right and he faded them and made them and I was like bro and then he

pulls out his watches and I'm like dude what is going on this is crazy that's his that was his job and he killed it props yeah yeah and it was so like technical what what he was pointing out I was like bro there there were they're like they're focusing on that little thing that's like that must be must be legit y so then I sat in on one of the script readings and it was so good the the director MC I I I I listened to the warrior kid I was like all right but he

he would stand Up in every scene he would stand up say all right taco stand up with me so we can act this out and I was literally like bro this is so good it was crazy and and that when was when it sort of clicked to me like this is this is not just going to be like a movie about like I like I got bullied in Didu Jitsu it was like there's so many more elements to it that that are in the movie and thought by the writers and it's so like elaborate and

and it's amazing and the Set was crazy too like the amount of hands needed on that set was was wild and so much fun but coaching the kids was really cool it was the first time doing Jiu-Jitsu and their parents were watching like what the heck is going on cuz we I was like okay these are the four positions I didn't really because it's what I'm surrounded by all the time and I train with guys I train with girls it lit like I don't I don't pay much Attention as I like should to to things

like that to people maybe feeling uncomfortable Jitsu is just we don't think of it as this the most the most contact sport that there is period end the story there is no sport that's more close contact than Jiu-Jitsu it's just the most close contact and I knew that so as we were introducing like both Jude and Ava's mom are there MH and I'm like hey this thing we're about to do is real lot of close com be very very and I'm Almost happy I didn't really think about it because I was I was literally just

acting like I was coaching Victory this is so fun making them so comfortable which was like my top priority because I just wanted I wanted them to work like well together because same thing having someone that you have they're your partner that's like that's such a key thing and they worked so well together what I was going to say Was oh when I first started training Jiu-Jitsu um I would be like confused about women's classes I would be confused about like separate classes because I was like what do you mean like I I didn't I

because I grew up around it I literally grew up like having freaking yeah jiujitsu breathing in my ear like I was like all right and then I wrestled and I was confused I was like why and and now when I start with girls they say I'm I like when they grab my wrists I'm like bro you got to grab my wrist this isn't like this you need to put your weight on me I'll be fine but this is what I what I realized about Jiu-Jitsu for women is like that is one of the main concerns

and I never even really put the if I'm grabbing your wrist bro it's going to be like with like I'm not going to let go you know but like teaching I understand the girls Class now because and by girls you mean girls anden class women yeah and and I understand it to like a level where I did I seriously was like why would they do that and now I understand talking to so many girls that first started Jiu-Jitsu just having like just learning how to put your weight on someone is so foreign to a lot

of women that it feels so like weird and like I understand that that would be weird in like a class if you've never Done it before MH so that that's one thing that I try to like try to help with like especially the girls in in classes is like even if even if they're paired with a guy is just like making them comfortable being like bro they're going to be fine they're tough you can put your on them you know I even I even talk about that from a self-defense perspective is if if you've never

had someone freaking grab on to you it's going to be scary there's three seconds To 5 Seconds to maybe even you don't snap out of it of shock of just like like you're just not used to it even even when I'm rolling now and I've trained like Jiu-Jitsu and wrestling if I can't get a dude off of me in side control I like freak out mhm and I'm like I'm the mo I'm like so seasoned that it would you wouldn't think it would but I start I'm like dude this is like crazy I I like

simply can't get him off of me and that's scary well I feel That way sometimes too to be honest with you think that's a normal thing yeah uh MC G yeah what the crazy thing is so MCG he like came down here like and met me and was like this is what I realized MC G had MC G had the vision in his head like he could see cuz I can't see a movie in my head I can see a Jiu-Jitsu move in my head I can see a an assault on a Target in my

head I can see surfing a wave in my head but I can't see a movie in my Head cuz I've never done that before but MC G he sees it he could see it yeah and so that's what I realized he was when he was down here talking to me he was ex he was trying to explain to me what he could see and I was like even then it'd be like me trying to explain to someone that didn't surf like no and then and then the curl like the the lip starts to come over

your head and if you see it you're like if you surf you can see it but if you don't surf you're just like Like all right dude and I didn't realize it until like it was probably well was while we were filming we were shooting a scene and I remembered him describing this to me and I was like oh Mick G saw this in his head when he read the script he saw what this would and could look like and I was like oh and he has this for the whole movie yeah the whole thing

not too not every single little detail cuz as you see when we're up there we're flexing and we're making moves and we're Making changes and all that stuff's cool but he had the the the framework and some of the scenes the specifics in his head of like I know what this is supposed to look like and that's what and that's what we got to do um Jude and AA when you met them were you like cuz I was like oh my gosh they're like the oh yeah they're so good for the roles yeah and they

were so they were so like eager to learn something new and And just jumping right into it because we didn't have much time and and I think they may have been the most willing and actively um positive students I've ever seen like they like to be that passionate about wanting to learn is I get it but I've never seen a kid that realizes oh I'm G to have to be doing this in a very short period of time I need to pay attention I need to figure this out wait show me that again how does

that work they were both so Into it and and worked so hard to make it happen and then how did you feel in the filming cuz you're in the movie hell yeah um it was it was like crazy we the first day I think we filmed one scene like the whole time yeah just for hours and hours and we were just like chilling there um do you remember what scene it was it was yeah what was it I don't I don't remember it was when he takes his socks off okay yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway

he kept having to put his so he Had to put his socks and she oh but um it was really cool because when we were training so so you learn moves of Jiu-Jitsu and then but you can tell when no when someone hasn't like rolled before because you it's very stagnant trying to do the move but when we practiced like I was like past her guard and after this was like day two or day three and they were like going for it looking like kids that were in my class MH and I think That was

a key element to it it wasn't just like here's a move here's a move here's a move because yeah it does that's not the Jiu-Jitsu yeah that's what that's what jow says movement over moves J flow I um but yeah so they I taught them moves but they knew that they had to have be off balance to do the scissors sweep they weren't just trying to do it like R coach Rana told me to do this move and I have to P coach told me right foot here left arm there Pull this here they were

doing both sides they were pulling on the collar they were like making their weight go forward which was so crazy because it genuinely like their scene where their rolling looks good that looks great um Echo Charles what was your assessment of because you are also in the movie it's true and you brought a lot of excellence and legitimacy to the scene apparently as was noted by Mick G himself yes sir yes uh was it what you expected cuz you You obviously have a much heavier background in film and so you've done this before what surprised

you about the whole thing well a few things um what it takes to to to get everything going MH um I was impressed with how efficient it was and how it all worked together but I think that varies from set to set M um the recreation of the set was very impressive there was a time I don't know if you were in the same boat Rana where I was like man this kind of cool this Time of day you know where the sun is coming in perfect right now with the mist and like bro this

is going to look good on film I remember thinking that and then like hours pass I'm like bro we better hurry up cuz when this Sun starts to you know like switch position or whatever we're going to kind of lose this look but I'm like whatever these are professionals they know what they're doing they're going to hurry up they're not hurrying they're like hours past I'm Like bro the sun is in the same exact spot and then I realized that these were like act it's not the sun they had blocked the sun actually these are

like actual lights they had blocked the Street yeah and outside at the angle that the sun would be appropriate for that time of day that they wanted to look that way that's the Sun a freaking giant it felt like the sun too to me it was the sun it was 100% so trippy I'm 46 years old I know what The Sun looks like I'm not some kid who's like gets tricked by some light or whatever bro but that was good um the I remember one very specific time where we're filming the in the in the

Jiu-Jitsu class and you know they're talking and all this stuff and and you know me and my family we know the worry kid books we read that thing like multiple and uh so we know the lines I know the lines or whatever and to see real professional Actors with a scene with a you know and to see it like come to life I remembered like getting like chicken skin like dang man these guys are nailing it right now and then you look on the monitor yeah because looking at way better even so yeah in the

moment you're like man this is such a cool production like official we're good we're good to go then you see it on the Monitor and you're like blown away man just cuz yeah it's like a whole another uh whole another level up you Know as far as the production so that was another one um and yeah just how like okay so you might not know this about me but I've been in an acting scenario before I've been in front of the camera before whatever right and you know how like was this your movie well many

many different times many many I'm just saying here on the podcast I know how it is when the cameras are roll but when you see like Actual when you see actual professional actors just doing like their thing you're like oh man there's like levels to the whole deal you know so that was very impressive and yeah yeah from from um and also too like the uh the humility of like the professionals on the on set we'll say like that was that was impressive as well yeah and they made unfortunately we couldn't fil film in the

actual Victory MMA because the fire so we made Legacy MMA which is a gym up There they made it into a victory and brought all The Branding in there and it's freaking amazing a cage y you know like it's impressive um Avan Jude wrote me notes about you Rana Ava said hey coach Rana I hope you're doing great I'm so proud of your accomplishments and Jiu-Jitsu right now I watch how amazing you are on Instagram you're such an amazing coach and martial artist I look up to you so much and I'm Thinking about training a

Jiu-Jitsu when I get back home all thanks to you and my incredible Warrior kid experience I know you're doing such great things and I really miss you and I do hope we get the chance to train together again because I truly learned a lot from you and I had a blast you're so inspiring and motivating with a heart of gold which is what I hope to do for all the noras out there through our movie way of the warrior kid see you Soon coach I love you and I'm so honored to know you a and

Jude wrote this Rana Exclamation point Exclamation point Exclamation point ex that's four exclamation four dude and he starts off with this you are seriously the coolest person I know a now I might have to talk to him about that cuz I mean I guess I I think you guys met before that too um he said you are serious serly the coolest person I know your hard work and dedication to Jiu-Jitsu is unmatched by anyone even just being around you is empowering those few weeks we spent together training will never be forgotten I started off knowing

absolutely nothing about Jiu-Jitsu you not only taught me the fundamentals and showed me how to look good on camera but you also inspired me to continue my training off camera back home in Florida plus you are literally the original Warrior kid fa love Jude um So you got some fans from the movie you also got some fans from the assembly the echelon front women's assembly so what happened La was it last year you went and taught Jiu-Jitsu right yeah so assembly 01 they asked me and um Katie M to help with the Jiu-Jitsu um we

didn't we honestly did not know how many women were going to show up to the Jiu-Jitsu part and it's the last part of the the event too so we Kind of like so real quick the assembly is a women's uh leadership conference that's run by Jamie Cochran and the rest of the team at Echelon front but it's for women and it's we've there's been two of them and yeah so it's it's been hugely successful and everyone's having a great time but it's it's a it's similar to the muster except for the muster is uh co-ed

and and Jamie wanted to create something just for women and actually it was Jiu-Jitsu that made me realize why because I used to not understand why same as you I used to be like why would you have women men in women's class it's all the same but there's a barrier to overcome in walking on the mat as a woman when there's a bunch of freaking sweaty dudes there well it's similar thing with leadership like oh they want to hear about leadership perspective not from me but from other another woman or other women so that's essentially

Jamie Explained that to me I was like hey Roger that go for it so it's been awesome but at the muster we Jiu-Jitsu the second night the last night and so Jamie's like we'll do it too so Katie who works at Asam front is a brown belchi and you were going to teach jiujitsu so but then you ended up like getting all crazy okay so this is the thing I didn't get crazy but I was super excited to teach the Jiu-Jitsu um but Jamie comes up to us and said hey I'm just going to ask

you like how you got into Jiu-Jitsu or whatever what have you just a little intro and the assembly was like did this was when was that last year so last year I was like like on my little healing Journey mhm you know and only only really spoke up about it my healing Journey with like my family and my like closest friends but then I got this feeling Inside like I feel like if I am just like oh how did I get into jiujitsu my dad didn't my dad wanted me to do it but I didn't

like it but then I came back to it like it something felt like not fully true about like being so chill about it because it wasn't that like feel of an experience back to Jiu-Jitsu and so other people were were like being very vulnerable at the assembly mhm and I'm not I'm not one for vulnerability I Never like said anything to anyone of random people especially so I the night before the Jiu-Jitsu so night one of the assembly I'm like I'm going to at least share a little bit like more than the Bare Bones of

like what happened about me training Jiu-Jitsu then I started coming up with things to say and I just like lost it like I just cried and I went into the shower and like sobbed Snot like coming out of my Nose like just sobb not even like a tear it was just like sobbing I was like how am I going to do this how am I going to say all this stuff and I'm not telling anyone I'm doing that so it's just going to be kind of like and I didn't want to cry that day the

day I did it but I was like it's G to happen like I can't if if I'm talking about such a sub sensitive subject I feel like the first time I share it like the first time those words are coming Out of my mouth it's going to be so hard to not like I feel like now I feel more comfortable talking about it but in that moment I was like bro but I just felt like I wanted to share a little bit more so that that night I I'm like shaking the then the day after

um they're like this is Rana or like they said introduce yourself I said my name is Rana and Jiu-Jitsu and I have a very long relationship and I just like got very I got more personal than like I ever had Gotten with like random people or like someone that's not very close to me and it felt like so amazing to share and there were 90% of the girls it was their first time training Jiu-Jitsu I didn't want to stand up there and sort of I think it would have been fine if I just kind of

was like yeah you know it wasn't for me and then it was it would have been fine it's just like I wanted to be like they're trying something new like I this is my like I want to go try Something new mhm and then everyone was sobbing in the Crowd by the way got the tear jerkers but then after I just remember remember like balling I was like I can't believe I did that and it felt really good told my therapist and she's like now you're like and I got a bunch of DMs like you

helped me so much it was very cute and then or like parents moms that have daughters and then I was like wow this even though I didn't want to do it at all and even I Didn't even want to tell my own parents about what was going on I just was like I If if I can help someone then I guess I'll share like something that I don't want to talk about you know so and now I'm here yeah and you almost made it through the whole podcast without crying I I know um well I

know it's going to help out a lot of people and especially even from both ends not only from like a daughter and but also from the parents Like from my perspective and like just how things that I did and things that I didn't do that I just was just unintentionally doing stuff that wasn't the best way to handle things you know and so you know I think it'll be helpful for both ends of the spectrum and hopefully it'll just make everyone train Jiu-Jitsu hopefully you even got Eko Charles over here he's getting teared up go

on now and then the year later I Jamie messaged Me he said would you like to do an interview on the assembly like assembly number two M and I was like oh gosh I already went through the first time and then I was like I had that same feeling of like I I I went through all this and then I want to use it to like like I'm I'm like who I am today because I went through it and I would like to share to help people because I don't want to go up on like

a stage and like say how I struggled no one wants to do that mhm But if if it can help someone then like I'll that's fine with me I'll take one for the team did Jamie ask you like did she set you up for the same story basically yeah it was it was it was like how it was basically my relationship with like confidence and and Jiu-Jitsu and and doing and not even just Jiu-Jitsu just doing something that you're like doing something for yourself that will help you mhm yeah that was another thing like even

When you like again from my perspective dude you were on fire like with confidence as a kid I like wasn't though no I know that's that's this is a warning this is like a a uh or at least a yeah it's a warning like from my perspective dude you I would see you in a crowd I would see you with your friends you were like very Dynamic personality and you were funny as kid and all that stuff you did awesome in school like everything was looked so Awesome and I never had any indication that you

were not the most confident person imaginable and yeah I didn't you know just I didn't know and um again that's a warning to everybody you know like as much as you think you might know what's going on with your kids there's going to be some things that you might have to sort of pry into a little bit or ask better questions and build a better relationship because nobody wants to you Know nobody wants to like say what's going on or at least a lot of times people don't want to say what's what's bad especially if

you don't think it's that bad in your head too and it was like easy for me cuz I cuz cuz I was very like loud and funny and high school and it was like that's such an easy like cover up if you start getting quiet then it's like what what's all what's wrong with you and it was just it was just like I liked it that Way I just didn't I I knew that if there was some other tinkering then I wasn't going to have like full say in in what I did so I was

just like I'm just going to stay like loud no one no one like even questioned it really except one time my teacher was like girl are you good I was like yeah I'm just cutting weight oh and my coach my teacher was like okay let me know yeah and again that's like the perfect cover up right it's like the perfect perfect cover up I just hav he Was a wrestler too my my coach Mr compon oh yeah King yeah yeah he's awesome yeah he's a great uh teacher but yes this everything that you're saying and

even actually as I was as I was saying it like everything that you were it's not like oh I found a freaking crackpipe in my daughter's dorm room what's like oh I found a food scale in my daughter's dorm room well of course you did she's a food scientist she's going to college and It's not like I bottle of vodka crammed behind her B no inad I found rice cakes you know what I mean and like a calor oh she has a uh what's a bad app that you could have on your phone like uh

uh a dating app or something like oh my daughter has this dating app on her phone match.com she's got hinge like there's must be something wrong no it's like oh she has a a health food tracker like like everything in in that Category from from from the surface level and even like one level maybe even two levels deep is all good to go it's all good to go and that's just a bizarre thing even like oh your daughter's your daughter's really exercising a lot of course she is yeah hell yes hell yeah she is of

course she is it's my daughter that's totally fine to exercise a lot you can make it there's things it's like these things can not can have not a negative thing as well it's like if if You if this app if someone wanted to lose weight in a healthy way say they wanted to lose like half a pound a week or a quarter pound a week and the apps gave them like some help things to eat and you can scan barcodes that's that makes it so much easier rather than thinking oh my God that that losing

weight is such a hard task to do like the these things can make it easier and if if people need to do it that these things can help for Sure and exercising helps I mean we all exercise yeah I mean exercise makes you healthy it's exercise awesome so you're not it's it's not like it's just the way that it's it's just the way that it's used um what are your goals now what do you got going on what do you want to do um Jiu-Jitsu world champion good okay uh and like helping like just teaching

kids for like a very long time I I I seriously love teaching kids It's like you can you can literally see them like transforming in front of your eyes you think that you're teaching them you would think that because you're teaching them some sort of like violent martial art that it that it's going to make them like worse or want to fight but like that's it's so the opposite 100% the best thing the kids and all the parents will tell me like my kid is like paying attention in class more like ever since they started

Training Jiu-Jitsu like they've actually been listening to us and like more disciplined and like it it's like such an awesome transformation to watch it especially like like kids that don't want to fight in the beginning that don't want to do it and then you just see them like get get so into it I have this girl named Emma she's six and the first day her dad brought her in she sat she sat on the side with her dad I came up to them I said do you want to fight Do you want to try the

lava game and she said no no I don't I don't want to do I said okay that's fine M she has a Jiu-Jitsu page now first of all competes at every tournament that we do is so Fearless like on the mats it's so awesome does all the techniques we tell her to listening to us helping out kids that are like new in the class it's so awesome and she didn't even want to fight in the beginning and now she's like winning like always winning Friday Night Fights always helping out such a good kid such good

manners her mom is like her parents are so grateful for it you know it's so awesome but that's not even the one story that's I mean yeah that's just one story like I have I teach a bunch of kids that have like attention issues too and they they are like you can see in front of your eyes like they stop getting kicked out less and less they're like paying attention they're like I'll help out the new kid It's so awesome Yep it's a huge part of the warrior kid thing and uh I just beg everyone

to train Jiu-Jitsu yourself get your kids training Jiu-Jitsu just it's just gonna it's so helpful for every aspect of your life it just it's just so good for you and you got to be careful because you can do what I did I knew that very thing with my own kids and I freaking blew it you didn't now I will I I will the cool thing is now all my kids train but I blew it for a while I could have done it better let's say that and everyone has their own path yep as as as

we said when you got your blue belt everybody it's best if they have their own path saw your path and not just in Jiu-Jitsu in everything in life but putting the crumbs out on the trail so they can find them is the best way to do it don't push them down the path don't shove them down the path don't cut off Every other option besides the thing that you want put the crumbs out there let them see what it feels like let them let them understand it explain the why to them and and you're going

to get your kid to be in a much better spot and and look there's a bunch of other you know all activities and and and one of my friends Scott you know he's always said he when we when our all of you guys were younger he was like I just want my kid to be into want my kids to be into Something whether it's surfing whether it's playing guitar whether it's volleyball basketball football just being into something is is awesome and support them and and Ena enable that as much as you can and if that

thing happens to be Jiu-Jitsu whatever happens happens yeah then that'll be really official and even if it's not if they train once a week you know you know if they're training once a week they're getting in there You'd be shocked shocked at how much people how much kids uh absorb once a week over a two-year period over a three-year period they're going in there once a week once on Saturdays and by the way they're going to win in a little bullying fight if they get attacked by some other eight-year-old and they been train in Jiu-Jitsu

once a week for four months they're winning which is crazy but they're winning have to worry about it so um those things are awesome you're Also you're doing you're going on the speaker circuit too right CU aren't you speaking at Gabriel uh Dr Gabriel Lion's event she asked me she asked me to speak assembly um probably it's in April so it's pretty far away but just about Jiu-Jitsu and exercise and things like that right all yeah awesome so Echo Charles you got anything else I noticed you a couple times I was looking over you know

you got kids yeah yeah yeah it's true you Look like you were thinking about you know what it's like having kids and hopefully you learn some from some of the mistakes that I made yeah yeah I think well I think watching you guys grow up um it mirrored especially you you mirror a lot of what my daughter goes through cuz she's like stronger than her peers and stuff um but yeah it kind of It kind of provides like a good kind of like a track like a path you know something that I think that um

we All can kind of hold on to cuz it's easy to compare ourselves like to other people you know um but I think a lot of times that's a mistake but yeah it cool to to know you and to see you grow up into to who you are today thanks it it's interesting cuz you've been you've known all my kids since they were little tiny kids yeah like baby kind yeah I think maybe I think maybe you knew when we opened Victory I think that was that was like 19 or sorry 200 it was 2008

but 2007 we were we were training here for like 4 months so it's a 2007 MH and then we officially open to the public in 2008 so how old were you in 2008 like seven dude so yeah my son was five yeah your older sister Freya was nine so that's like yeah you've I mean a 5-year-old is a little kid yeah a 7-year-old is a little kid yeah like kid kid and it must have been weird for you cuz you didn't have kids yet no so You're just like looking at these freaking feral creatures was

funny we were at Tim's house you know that picture I think I I sent it I sent it to all you guys Timbo yeah Timbo Mania in fact I think it was it was actual Timo Mania and it's all you guys in the jacuzzi with my brother and yeah you guys are like little kids yeah it was funny um but yeah it's funny and the next time I saw you was a picture that Joo sent of you like after you won a Wrestling tournament you're all like buff I'm like I don't remember this daughter you

know like this and you kind of connect the dots I like wow man yeah it's crazy but yeah good job good job Hannah thanks get you so all right well I guess um you want to thank probably Victory and Legion and origin and jonco fuel uh sure yeah I do I do uh what else does that get us up to speed where can people find you R ran willink yeah on r willink on Instagram it post a lot of Jiu-Jitsu and yeah and speaking of Mulk sure hell yeah M EO Charles are you on the

MK train of course yes sir I'm very much you your road work today yeah yeah of course yes uh MK chain that's protein which you need you know what else you need joint Warfare yeah it helps you know what else you need super cow uh greens um go how many go do you drink a day day Rana one one one if if that Before what class J flow J flow just yeah or before I teach the kids just depends I won't drink two in one day but I don't drink coffee or anything like that yep

um if you want this stuff that's going to help you throughout your journey go to joof fuel.com hi Journey hi Journey hi healing Journey hi healing Journey if you need stuff to help Propel you down the healing Journey we got the stuff that you need uh joof field.com we're we Got got the 434 tour going on we're going to be in Bentonville Arkansas yep Saturday October 26th so if you want to come by for that if you want any of this stuff like I said you can go to joof fuel.com you can go to Walmart

you can go to Wawa vitamin shop GNC military commissaries APS Hanford Dash stores and Maryland wake Fern shopright HB down in deos Meer up in the midwest Wegman's I just had someone tell me that they buy out Wegman's like once a week There's in There getting I was like outstanding uh Harris teer Lifetime Fitness Shields and we're we're getting into more and more places um small gyms we're in jiujitsu gyms all over the place Legion Victory we're going into AOS uhuh I know yeah so just if you got a Jiu-Jitsu school or you got a

CrossFit gym uh JF sales at joof field.com hit us up and we can get you the goods that you need also on your um healing journey of Jiu-Jitsu guess what you're going to Need EO Charles what it wasn't a healing journey of Jiu-Jitsu it was just like healing journey of myself Jiu-Jitsu was part of the Jiu-Jitsu was part of the healing healing yeah it's it's not of Jiu-Jitsu it's of R willink I'm gonna say okay give jiujitsu too much credit who whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoaa wait wait wait wait wait wait I give

it a lot of hold on now I heard you say something the other day mhm you were like I do not I think e you said I do Not know where i' would be in my life right now without that jiujitsu boha well yeah yeah yeah that's like okay okay sorry I'm G to she said she didn't want to give Jiu-Jitsu credit than oh too much credit no I I the healing it started with a lot but Jiu-Jitsu helped me tremendously for sure but it doesn't have to be Jiu-Jitsu should be jiu-jitsu Jiu-Jitsu Jiu-Jitsu helps

yeah jitu helps it does jiujitsu helps a lot uh think something that you're into Something that you're into that you like to do that takes your mind off things that it's crazy we' got a lot going on in life you know the thing about one of the thing about Jiu-Jitsu is like let's say you there's other things that you can get into that you can get obsessed with that thing and you can and when you get obsessed with that thing it makes you obsessed with a lot of other things that are tangental to the thing

MH so instead of just being obsessed With the thing you can be thinking about like well I really need if I'm in the guitar I really need to get this amp and this app and this thing and this that and this tuner and all this stuff right well isn't that just like jiujitsu gear to help you do the main thing but I'm saying there's like you can only get a ghe and a rash card there's no like you can get a cute one from origin that's true so speaking jiujitsu giz Orin usa.com check it out

we got made in America Jiu-Jitsu giz we got rashguards we got jeans boots boots of course t-shirts joggers we got everything that you need workout gear hunt gear we got everything that you need and it's all made in America so you don't have to worry about sending money to this nation's adversaries who are have actual slave labor in 2024 we fought against slavery in the Civil War let's continue to fight Against slavery by buying American right now go to Orin usa.com that's what I got Echo Charles it's true oh also I got forgot I got

to thank you for keeping us and Joo especially up to date with all the the current terms terminology and Expressions cuz what's your guys's favorite well is a good one um that actually that was a new one the one that you just said when you're like hello Journey hello Journey yeah like what does that mean like kind of like oh That's a new one right you said that it's sort of like sometimes your journe like can be a little bit like this is my journey like hello JY you know well there I actually I actually

sent on the family group text said hey everyone rana's coming on the podcast please send rana's uh vocabulary words cuz she has her own freaking way of speaking which she refrained from decently amount today but maybe the next time she comes on we'll go through the entire cuz the the Thing that was funny was she would say these words but then like her friends would all say these words and then the family would say these words and so I was like and even dad even you say those words oh yeah I I would say these

words eating yeah what eating eating eating yeah that's one that's one did you make that up you didn't make that up no I didn't make it up but she she brings it in from popular culture yeah yeah she's like the Prophet that brings it in or whatever like yeah and my daughter she's 11 so she gets some of it and I kind of you know refine my understanding and knowledge but I I think this is where I get the bulk of it for sure car I just hit you you can't hit me with the for

sure well you I we we need to de or discern between the words that you brought into this a lot of things I don't make up it's just you guys have never heard it before but I love when You start saying it I and then my friends are like bro what did he just say period yeah so wait period so I remember one time we were uh recording your singing by the way and you you were asking a question then you said question mark you said the word question mark so I was like I was

like wait is this some weird new like thing and then I'm then I like thought about it for a little bit a day maybe two and then I realized is it Because you're you talk to text a lot no I never talked to text I think it's just like you're saying a statement but you're also kind of asking you're like I guess I'm going to say that on the podcast question mark yeah you know what I mean yes cuz it's like I guess you are saying I guess I'm going to say that but also you're

saying like making it clear that it's a question mark in jiujitsu if you if if you're like wait does my hand go Here question mark wa okay so it's cuz you kind of know your hand goes there but also you're like you're not like my hand goes here because you don't know and you're asking Co like your coach and you're just like question mark because you don't want to be like I know it period okay you're like I don't know question mark yeah so it's not redundant it's kind of just more specific really it specifies

it yeah yeah I thought I Concluded that it was like oh no these kids nowadays they're on their phone texting and stuff sometimes they're talking to texting and when you say question mark it puts a question mark there you see what I'm saying but hey all right he I'm glad I know now but um also also by the way thanks for clarifying by the way of course if I'll be able to look out for any new terminologies um anyway Joo a store I don't know if you know this actually I Do know you know this

because I see you representing from time to time which I like by the way it's called Joo store so you go to Joost store.com discipline equals Freedom rash cards t-shirts hats hoodies mainly t-shirts that's what what we I don't want to say specialize in but we kind of specialize in t-shirts speaking t-shirts also shirt Locker it's called the shirt Locker subscription t-shirt scenario new design every month good designs Ren has requested certain Yeah ones of those from you yeah especially toxic product did you make up toxic product no that's that's my older sister fre made

that up yeah yeah yeah she was like toxic true yes I'm I'm the CEO of toxic productivity CEO have you heard of CEO CEO post child oh wait as an expression yeah oh if we're talking about something you say I'm the CEO of the company like trust me I know you know like toxic productivity have you heard of it Dad Would be like I'm the CEO of the company you know what I mean yeah okay good good in this case I guess but also everyone must get stoned I requested that shirt but I can't really

wear it anywhere how come just like if you I don't know might be too much for some environment there are some people that didn't that were against that shirt but cuz I heard the story about it I was like I want that shirt so good what about this one right that is a cool shirt yeah it's Pretty cool it's not shirt Locker this this is uh so Jitsu his life T-shirt you got the death core flag flying boldly and aggressively there very aggressively you have four stripes on your black belt in that particular thing no

actually this is the empty space so it represents any belt that you may have you know what I'm saying that's the symbolism the layers behind it nonetheless short Locker a little bit outside the box designs mhm very levels of yeah yeah That's good fun people seem to like it there's one guy representing at the mustard with the it was the Snickers uh I saw that you see that one I sign is that discipline on it and freedom on the back I signed a toxic productivity t-shirt at the muster perfect I love that shirt so there

you go uh Jo store.com there you go um also Rana eats steak she gets her steak from Primal beef.com and colorcraft beef.com if you want to get the best steak go to Those websites and get some also subscribe to the podcast also Joo underground we're about to record one of those right now uh YouTube channels what is there origin USA there's Joo Fuel and there's Joo podcast check those out and clips oh and there's Joo podcast Clips do you run that it's a good one let's say we collectively run it together for sure oh [Music]

okay bro uh I've written a bunch of Books so if you want to get those books check them out if you want to look there's a movie coming out it's called way of the warrior kid directed by Mick G good man uh starring a guy named Chris Pratt good man also featuring Rana willink Eko Charles and Joo willink and me as a matter of fact we're featured in it yes sir uh so you may want to be on the lookout for that but I'll tell you what get the books the movie's not going to Come

out for a bit so you want to introduce Jiu-Jitsu to your kids in real powerful way get the books we the warrior kid you want to get your introduce your kids to working out in a real positive way get the books you want to introduce your kids to healthy eating get the books they don't need to be eating junk food now do they need a freaking scale no they don't need to weigh their food there's no no mentions yeah no mentions um So check those out also Echelon front we solve problems through leaders we have

leadership consultancy we just heard about the the women's assembly we just got done with the muster down in in Dallas it was sold out it was freaking epic um the next one is in San Diego San dieago yeah good Fe February 23rd through the 25th these things sell out they have all sold out and they all will sell out so if you want to go Register Asa AP come to San Diego and check it out that's going to be February 23rd through the 25th after that is uh San Antonio I think that's April 29th through

May 1st so there you go FTX Council Battlefield we have a bunch of things going on if you want our help with your leadership go to eamf front.com we also have online Training Academy have you spoken on one of those yet no Jam's going to have you speak on the women's one because there's a Women's one right so check it out we have an online Training Academy go to extrem ownership. these principles that we teach we do it on courses we also are live on there and it has helped so many people square away their

business and their life check it out extrem ownership. comom if you want to help service members active and retired you want to help their families you want to help Goldstar families check out Mark Le's mom mama Lee She's Got an amazing Charity organization if you want to donate or you want to get involved go to America's Mighty warriors.org also mic aink I guess latest report he was fishing with a stick and he stabbed a salmon pulled it out of the river he's eating it right now Riverside watching the sunset he helps our veterans find themselves

by taking them up into the Wilderness Heroes and horses. org also Jimmy May's organization beyond the Brotherhood Helping seals after they get out transition into the civilian sector if you want to connect with us on the interwebs jco.com also on social media media Rana is at Rana willink yeah you're on the gram mhm anywhere else no Twitter nah x no um I'm at Joo willink Ekko is at Echo Charles just be careful cuz there's an algorithm that will choke you put you to Sleep you won't even know it Michael Charles any final questions for Rana

nope that was it good to see you sister you roll with Rana have I ever rolled with Rana you know yeah yeah plenty of time how does that make you feel well I'm very happy that she's in Jiu-Jitsu we'll put it that way I'm very happy she's on our team put it that way you know I'm glad that you are who you are have you panicked rolling with Rana panicked I can't say that I've panicked Have you have you uh you you say this to me sometimes the answer is yes what's the word you say

to me Ury have you felt the sense of urgency with random willing yes various times so actually I'll even tell you where and I said this at the camp when I was teaching oh yeah yeah you I used you as the example so there's a move Jo or not Joo Dean calls it the the the punk sweeper I don't know something like this where it's like it's a thing where you essentially put the Back put the push the back of a guy's arm when they do this thing or whatever stiff arm on the armpit yeah

like behind the tricep kind of and you kind of can get up you get out of side control it's a very effective move big guy small guy whatever and I didn't even remember it because it happens like pretty rare but the time that it always happens is with Hannah so it's the one thing you got to watch out for and I know this that you got to Watch out for this because I almost got got with it few times almost got got and those were the times that I experience that sense of urgency that I

sometimes talk about yes all right Rand willink any closing thoughts from you no thanks for having me on that was very fun very fun um well thank you for coming on and thank you for sharing your stories and your lessons and thank you for being such a great person and such a wonderful daughter um and you're not only Inspiring to a bunch of men and women and kids around the world you're also inspiring to me thanks bth also thanks to all our military personnel around the world we know that you make sacrifices to keep us

safe during peace time and during war so thank you you for protecting us in a way of life and also thanks to police law enforcement firefighters paramedics EMTs dispatchers correctional officers border patrol Secret Service as well as all Other First Responders we know that you sacrific greatly for us as well and we thank you for it and to everyone else out there trust listen respect influence and care this is how you build relationships with people you give them those things and this not only includes the people you work with it does it not only includes

your peers it not only includes your subordinates it not only includes your boss most important it includes Your family so give those things to them and of course GO train Jiu-Jitsu with them too until next time this is Rana and Ekko and Joo out