Cura da Criança Interior: Compreendendo Quem Ela É e Como Acolhê-la

So let's start with the concept of the inner child. We set foot on planet Earth and spend an age, a period of our life, from 10 to 12 years, living like a child. At this stage, we receive the first programming from our parents, the first programming from society.

It is where our ego begins to be shaped, where our masks begin to emerge, where we begin to learn how to live in society, etc. Fundamentally, this is the basis of programming. All of this, the first 10 to 12 years of our life, will determine how we will act throughout our lives, what kind of masks we will have during our lives, what type of behavior we will have during our lives.

So much so that Freud's therapies, for example, the great basis of psychoanalysis, began by analyzing childhood, saying that this is where the biggest problems of human beings lie. Freud went even further. For him, the first three years of our existence on planet Earth determined the rest of our lives.

I don't believe it's that radical, but fundamentally the period of childhood will determine everything we do, the type of ego we will be during our lives. Before going into how to talk about children, I'm going to delve even deeper into the topic of children for archetypes. In the sense of archetypes, when we are children, we can have two types of archetypes.

We assume two types of archetype: the dreamer, the deluded one, the archetype that believes that the world is a perfect place, that our parents are perfect, that life is perfect, that society is good, etc. ; and also the orphan, the one who believes that the world is bad, that parents are bad, that society is negative and that nothing can be done about it. So, our children will revolve around this, of course, always according to the input we receive from our surroundings.

If we have loving parents, loving families, if we receive care and love, we tend to believe that the world is a peaceful place, that the world is a nice place, etc. But, later on, this will get more complicated. And if we, from a young age, are born into a maladjusted family, in which we do not receive love, support, suffer violence, etc.

, we tend to believe that the world is a cruel place and that nothing can be done here except to put up with our own feelings. pain, that you were born to suffer, etc. Fundamentally, these two archetypes are the two archetypes marked in our childhood.

It starts with the first disappointment of our life. We believe that our parents are perfect, they are heroes, that our parents only have qualities. After a certain age, we see that our parents are imperfect, they are human beings, they make mistakes too, they are not such heroes.

And then the first myth of this perfect world begins to fall. Then, in adolescence, we get a little more life, we see that not all people are nice, that the world doesn't always give us love, on the contrary, it beats us. We begin to live with dense feelings, envy, etc.

And this child who believed that the world was perfect, that everyone was nice, that it was a place of love, etc. , withdraws sad within us, very sad, and can trigger a feeling of frustration in us for the rest of our lives. , a feeling of depression, a feeling that the world could improve.

And then we live with that sad child, with that child who one day dreamed of living in a better world, who one day dreamed that people could be nice, but who took so much from life that he retreated within us and basically there in the corner. sad, waiting to be loved again. And the other type, the one who was born taking hits, who believes that this world is a place to take hits, etc.

, after an age, with adolescence, they begin to intensify even more these blows that we take in life. He sees negative masks because he has a tendency to look at the negative, so he increasingly sees negative, negative, negative on planet Earth. And he can have a destructive attitude.

He may have an attitude of wanting to go against the system, rebellious, of wanting to destroy other people, etc. , because he believes that the world is a jungle in which he has to do the best he can to survive. Fundamentally, we carry these two types of child archetypes within us: the child who one day believed that this world was paradise and saw that it was not paradise and withdrew, and the child who always knew that this world was not paradise, but he also can't see anything good in life.

For this type of inner child, the world is a place of suffering, of beatings, and it is up to us to resist this or give more beatings than others in order to endure life. So, fundamentally, these two types of children we have within us. But what does a child want?

What does a child fundamentally need? A child only needs two things: to be loved and protection. So, fundamentally, our inner child wants two things: to be loved and protection.

When our inner child. . .

see, we discharge our inner child now, no matter what age you are, your inner child is within you. All that childhood feeling, everything you dreamed of, everything you need, and again love and protection remain a basic need, even if you are 70, 80 years old. This is a basic need of every human being: to be loved, to love and to have protection.

When this child seeks his whole life to be loved from the outside, to want other people to love him, he tends to become frustrated. She will look for the person who will love her in her husband, she will look for the people who will love her in her work colleagues, she will look for things in situations to be loved, things to feel important, to receive affection, just This child will almost always be frustrated. So, fundamentally, when we reach our 40s, 50s, early 50s, this child is already tired of looking for love, this child is tired of looking for protection, this child has already been beaten so much in life that they simply fade away.

It's as if she lives in a dark room inside us, and this room keeps getting darker, darker, darker, darker, and we're losing the sparkle in our eyes, we're losing our vivacity, we're losing our innocence, we lose our curiosity and the world becomes grayer, grayer, grayer. Now, if this child cannot find love abroad, if he, after some time, understands that people are not going to love him, who can love this child? Us.

We, we adults, we mature, structured egos, have to love this inner child. And then I start with a question for us to reflect on: how do we love this inner child? How do we treat our inner child?

Generally, 90% of people treat this inner child very rigidly, with a lot of harshness, with a lot of guilt. And the fundamental word for having the first contact with this inner child is called compassion, self-compassion. If we are not capable of self-compassion, we will never be able to love that child.

This child needs to be understood, this child needs to be forgiven, and we can only forgive by having self-compassion. And then I'm going to give a practical example of what self-compassion is. And then I'm going to go into mindfulness a little.

I'm there cooking, I'm there making bread, cooking, thoughts of the past come into my mind, a thought comes of me doing something against my friend at school, or a thought comes of me at 20 years old doing an act that today morally it's not cool for me. Soon the guilt comes, the guilt comes, I start to blame myself, I start to sentence myself, I start to put myself in a cage, I start to punish myself. If I don't have self-compassion, this guilt consumes me, this guilt ruins my vibrational frequency, this guilt ruins my day.

So I have to have the ability to look at my past and say: "Okay, I made a mistake, it's okay. I didn't have the same awareness that I have today. The circumstances I experienced were very different from today.

I didn't see life as I see it today in the past. " So, everything is fine. So the first step to getting in touch with this inner child is to lose yourself, to remove all these layers that have been placed in our lives, during our lives, of self-punishment, and become lighter, become more generous with ourselves.

. See, there is a lot of talk about forgiving, it is very easy to forgive others. It's easy to forgive others because we, human beings, tend to want to be the best.

Even though many people don't show it, we have a divine spark within us that makes us, even for a few moments, want to be a better person, a better being. So, if someone comes to apologize, or if someone is sorry for what they did, or if we look at a situation that someone did to us and say: "Ah, okay, let it go", we can forgive others people easily, in a way, depending on the mistake they made with us. But you can look inside yourself: it is very difficult for us to forgive ourselves.

We judge ourselves our whole lives for things we did in the past, for mistakes, in inverted commas. Now, but see, we are beings who, when we were born, did not receive an instruction manual on how to live on Earth, how to be a balanced being, how to be ethical. Fundamentally, we learn in life through trial and error.

Error becomes the greatest master of our life. Only by making mistakes and seeing what we did to others, what we did to ourselves, seeing the repercussions of our actions, can we look at these actions and say: "Wait a minute, this path I took is not cool. Not for anyone else, not for myself, so I'm going to change my path.

" But when we look at our past and we punish ourselves for what we did, we are mistreating that inner child, we are putting that child in prison, mistreating that child and punishing him. So the first step to getting in touch with this inner child is called compassion, self-compassion. First step to getting in touch with that inner child.

And then I'll relate it to the chakras: it's called survival, protection. As long as this inner child doesn't feel like it has a place to live, food in the fridge, and that its basic survival is established, it will keep screaming inside us, which is the lesson of the basic chakra. The first lesson we came to learn on planet Earth is why the basic chakra is so important.

Among all the seven chakras incarnated on planet Earth, until we learn that we have to survive, we have to pay our bills, we have to have food in the fridge, we have to have a house to live in, this child will be screaming in despair . She 's afraid, she's afraid of starving, she's a child. Deep down, we are that child.

They're afraid of dying of hunger, they're afraid of being helpless in the rain, they're afraid of getting sick, of not having a hospital or somewhere to go, a doctor to take care of, they're afraid of not having medicine. And then we get into deeper things: are you afraid of astral projection because there are monsters there, are you afraid of being alone because who will protect me if I fall down the stairs? All fears, fundamentally all our fears are revolving around the inner child, this inner child of ours.

Because see, there is a healthy transition, there should be a healthy transition. We should live the childhood archetypes and then make a transition to a more mature archetype, to the sage archetype, to the hero archetype, to other types of archetypes. But as our fear of survival is so great, we continue to focus on inferior archetypes.

Inferior not in the sense of worse or better, childhood archetypes. So fundamentally, if we look at humanity, 60-70% of humanity is still revolving around the archetypes of the child, the orphan, the dreamer. Why?

Because the lesson of the base chakra has not been learned. That's why I say, I always say, the first step for you to walk the path of spirituality is to resolve your material life. There's no point in trying to meditate while starving, there's no point in buying a metaphysics book and wanting to read metaphysics when you owe worlds and funds out there.

There's no point in wanting to have peace of mind if you're worried about how you're going to survive next month. All the great philosophers and metaphysicians who set foot on planet Earth fundamentally had one thing in common: free time. If they had free time, it was because their material survival was already resolved, either because they were born rich or because someone sponsored their work.

That's why the church's priests, all these priests, etc. , etc. , the church finances them, including in the Jewish community, for example.

Rabbis receive a salary from the community to have free time to philosophize, to think about spirituality. So the first step to developing spirituality is to resolve material issues, because only then will the inner child feel protected, only then will she stop crying, only then will she free up her energy for other things in life, like thinking, for example, how to reflect, how to get out of the body, how to meditate. So there's no way, there's no way.

This is a rule on planet Earth. All the animals that are here, all the beings that are here, insects, mammals, fish, birds, flowers, all the beings that are on planet Earth, when the sun rises, go after their own survival. They have to have something to eat, they have to have a den to shelter in, they have to live in groups to have protection, because these are fundamentally the most basic instincts of human beings.

So many students ask me: "Ah, teacher, I want to start spirituality, what do I do? " First step: sort out your material life. Afterwards you will have free time to practice metaphysics.

Solve your material life, this is the first lesson, basic chakra. After you have decided, that your inner child is calm, is calm, why ? Because you first started with the process of compassion, you started to forgive yourself, you started to look at your past, inside yourself, at your attitudes and said: "It's okay.

" Stop judging yourself, stop punishing yourself. Sometimes we punish ourselves unconsciously. Sometimes we punish ourselves unconsciously.

An example, for example: sometimes you get it into your head, because of that wounded inner child, that you don't deserve anything in life. And then you get a good job, a good job, something that is happening, is giving you money, but you start self-sabotage processes because deep down you believe that you don't deserve anything, you believe that the world is unfair to you, everything revolves around the inner child. If you don't have a question of compassion with yourself, of looking inside yourself, starting to see the shadows, starting to see the mistakes of the past, start and say: "It's okay, I forgive myself, let it go .

No, what I experienced as a child. " The child remains calm. And every day talk to this child.

See, the Tibério who was 12 years old continues to exist inside me, with the same dreams, with everything he wanted, everything is inside me. Where did it go? It's here, it's me.

The base is the same, it's the same ego that was developing and just changing its mask, but it's still here, it's still here. The child wants to play, the child wants to be free, the child wants to experiment, the child is curious, the child wants to travel, the child wants to go to a birthday party, everything is still here. But then we start to punish this child: "No, I'm not a good person, I don't deserve to travel.

No, but I have my free time, I could be making money. No, but why do I deserve it? " have fun if there are so many people in the world?

" And this whole process begins. And then the child becomes sad. After all, what do we do as adults?

What is our life after adults? Where's the curiosity? Do not exist anymore.

Where is the joy, the satisfaction, the willingness to experience things? It doesn't exist anymore, it's all a routine. As soon as we take 10 minutes to do anything , to read a book, do anything we want, a guilt process begins within us: "I could be using this time to make money, I could use this time to, I don't know.

what. " And the child increasingly withers within us, as we reach 50, 60 years of age, we become a dry strand. There is only one body here, the spirit knows where it is, hidden somewhere, let's say, our vital essence.

And we became, let's say, robots, just repeating, repeating. We no longer even have the notion that we are alive. See, this is deep.

We no longer even have the notion that we are alive. It's simply a repetition. We agreed, such, such, such, such, such, such, such, such.

And then it comes, from all of this, from this life that we created, automatic, without pleasure, without feeding this child, we create the desire for death, which Freud said so much that it is one of the strongest desires that human beings have, it is the death wish. So we begin to commit suicide unconsciously, using substances that will lead to our death, doing things that will lead to our death, because after all, what are we doing here in life if we are just waking up and repeating acts? So the child wants to leave, the child wants to leave.

So what do we do with our child? We locked ourselves inside the room. And what about the child's dreams?

We stop listening to the child's dreams. Where did we do with that dream of that 12-year-old boy who wanted to change the world, who wanted to help people, who wanted to make the planet better? What did we do with it?

Where did it end up? That's okay, life is not an easy place. I'm not saying here that life is rosy, no.

Well, life frustrates us. Frustration is part of life. Out of 100 things we think about, 90 we won't accomplish.

Ten that we got, if one turns out more or less the way we want, ok, fine. But we get frustrated, frustrated, frustrated. And then comes the moment in life when we look and say: "We don't even have the right to dream anymore, that's it, it's over.

" He finished. So at 40 years old I no longer have the right to dream, dreams that I have carried my entire life. Because, see, this is where the question of desire comes in.

Desires, Buddhists said that desires are the cause of suffering. But, ok, how do you eliminate desire? Fulfilling the wish.

As long as what we desire is not fulfilled, desires continue to torment us. This can last several lifetimes, because the only way I can see that being rich doesn't bring me happiness is by being rich. There is no way to.

I go and I believe, I don't know, I got it into my head that if I'm a millionaire, that will make me happy, that will bring me happiness. Ok. You'll only be able to prove this by being rich.

The day you look in a safe and see 10 million reais in the safe, and look inside yourself and say: "Okay, it improved my life, but that's not what brings me happiness. " Then this desire ceases to exist. So, until we make the child's wishes come true, he will continue to torment us because he wants the candy, because he wants to make his wish come true.

But then we are afraid of remaining silent, we are afraid of looking inside ourselves and seeing what we did with these desires, and seeing that all we dream of is that Elis Regina song, which in the end we become the our parents. We are still the same and do what our parents did. And yet another contradiction of life comes.

Everything that we fought with our parents, that we criticized, that we said were stupid, that I don't know what , we ended up becoming like them, apathetic beings, lackluster beings, beings that do things by routine. Why? Because our child is dead.

And here comes the funny thing. The funny thing. Jesus said: "Only children will enter heaven.

" The point is not to be the naive child we were at the beginning of life. The point is that we start life as a naive child, but we can only achieve peace when we become wise children. The entire path of life, and then the Tarot archetypes represent this very well, that the madman card is card number one and card 22.

There are two archetypes, there are two arcana, one and one. The journey starts like crazy and ends like crazy. We start as children and end as children.

But what is the difference between this child who started and the one who finished? The wisdom. The one who started was naive, either she believed that the world was a terrible place, or she believed that the world was a paradise.

Lived, lived, lived, lived, lived, lived, lived, lived, reached the point of the child again. But now he understands that the world is neither paradise nor a terrible place. It's both things.

This child who starts out wants external love, wants people to love him. This child who ends understands that there is only one type of love: it is love itself, it is self-love. That people can love them, they can love them, but that will never be enough to fill that inner lack that this child has.

Only by loving herself, understanding herself, will she be able to fill this lack. So this child who starts, he cries because he wants love. This child who finishes understands that he already has all the love in the world inside him.

This child who starts out wants the protection of other people. This child who ends understands that she is self-protecting, knows how to say no and she knows how to say yes too. That's why the madman's letter is so liberating.

What does the madman card represent? Who was the court jester, who is still a child. In medieval courts, kings, etc.

, the only person who could say something to the king, criticize the king, was the court jester. So he could joke about the king, the kingdom, etc. , and he wouldn't lose his temper.

Anyone who spoke ill of the king would lose his head, except the jester. Because the child, in the eyes of society, is a fool, he is naive. But the greatest freedom we can have is to be a child.

It doesn't matter the age. We can be 40, 50, 60, 70 years old and just reactivate that child inside us. How can we reactivate this child within us?

Now, going back to being a child, seeing that not all people want to attack us, seeing that it is possible to make dreams come true. Of course it is possible to make dreams come true. The grace of dreams is not making dreams come true, the grace of dreams is dreaming, dreaming.

The greatest satisfaction, you see, people sometimes live a life chasing a dream and, when they realize the dream, they create an existential void. Because the pleasure of life is the path one takes, not the final goal. The path of life, the beauty of life is the path, it's not where we arrive, it's what we do during the journey.

So dreams, okay, dreams were meant to be fulfilled. But living without dreams makes us empty beings. We are beings who dream.

Draming is part of human nature. Draming about a better world, dreaming about a trip, dreaming about climbing a mountain, dreaming about things. We are dreamy beings, so much so that human beings love stories, books, soap operas, everything that makes them dream.

Because we need the abstract, we need the dream. And the child is the one who dreams, the child is the one who dreams. And to make a child happy, you don't need much.

It's a mistake to think that children need big toys, big things. He's a stick plus a little friend, that's it, he becomes a firefighter. Now we take this land plus this small group and become a cook.

See, I'm simplifying. Again, this naive child who plays with the clique. But why not dream of being cooks?

Why not dream of being whatever we want, no matter how old we are? Ah, but it's because life now, I have obligations, now I have this, I have that, I have that other. Okay, so what?

And then what are we left with? A being that we were born to repeat things? And then we began the process of self-suicide, as I said before.

Because when we no longer dream, when life is no longer fun, when we look at things, everything is gray, when we look at people, we no longer trust anyone, when what we do no longer gives us any pleasure, when everything in Life is about paying bills and obligations, what are we going to do here? The process of unconscious suicide begins, self-sabotage, understand? And in deeper, more metaphysical things, which don't fit here, even illnesses.

We even bring unconscious illnesses into our bodies because we don't want to stay here anymore. I remember the first time I ate out, my first kiss, the first time I went out alone at night, the toy I got, which I really wanted, when I was 8 years old, and I slept hugging it. It was a stupid toy, a little truck that had buttons on top.

I remember what it was like to play with my friends. And generally those who had a good childhood, I'm not saying it's everyone, but those who had a good childhood miss their childhood a lot because it was all very simple. It was all very simple.

A friend cursed me today, then one said nonsense to the other, tomorrow they were joking again. Not today. If you say something to me, I don't even look at the person's face anymore.

Anything was a reason to play, now no. I can only play if I have 1 million dollars. I can only be happy if I go to.

. . and the child went to the corner to drink guaraná with his father and it was already a reason for fun.

Where did all this get lost? What point was all this lost? At what point do we overcomplicate things?

And of course, there is a whole consumer society on top, hammering into our heads that we need to have elaborate and complex things and spend a lot of money to do so to be happy. When everything boils down like this, happiness is our intention with things and not what we have. See, when I mentioned at the beginning that we have to solve our basic survival, I'm not talking about being rich or a millionaire.

It's having a plate of food on the table and a place to live. That's enough for the inner child, he doesn't need great luxuries. She knows that she is protected from the rain, that she opens the refrigerator and there is food.

Mujica, president of Uruguay, has a very cool video of him, an old one, in which he said: "Everything we buy, everything we acquire, we need to give our life time to have. " It's anything I buy, if I buy these glasses, I had to give up a little of my life to have these glasses. And time is the most valuable thing we have.

How long do I live to have useless things? Useless. How many years have I not spoken to a friend who said something rude to me and I was hurt?

That doesn't exist in a child's universe, being hurt doesn't exist, it's all very simple. So going back to being a child means having a simple look at life again, it means stopping complicating things, stopping complicating things. You know, now there's a minimalism movement that I think is really cool.

It's the minimum, it's the minimum for me to have a reasonable life here on planet Earth. Who will I spend the rest of my time with? I'm going to spend it on my friends, I'm going to spend it on dinner with my family, I'm going to spend it on my wife, I'm going to spend it doing things I like.

Because this child needs to live life, play. I will forgive those around me, because what a shame to carry other people's hurt, what an unnecessary weight. I'm going to look at my past and say: "My parents gave the best they could to me within their worldview, because after all I didn't become much better than them either.

And if I had a son, neither I know if I could do better, so it's okay, it's okay, my past never mind. " Ah, but life was unfair to me. Okay, to a certain degree, some minor and others major, life is unfair to everyone, from the perspective of the ego, from the perspective of the ego, life is not fair to anyone.

Ok, sometimes a person has had many unpleasant moments in their life, others have had a few more pleasant moments. Okay, but those who had unpleasant moments also had some pleasant ones, and those who had pleasant moments also had several unpleasant ones. It's part of it.

Buddha said that one of the principles for us to achieve, understanding spirituality, what he called spiritual enlightenment, which I don't like that term very much, but he said that one of the attributes for achieving spiritual enlightenment is understanding that there is suffering in life . We will suffer, suffering is part of life. Of course, again, some suffer more, others less, but we will all suffer in some way.

And it's not because I'm feeling pain that my pain is greater than that of others, because whoever is feeling pain, the pain is the same, no matter the proportion. Everyone who has pain feels pain, and pain is the same for everyone. So, one of the first steps is to understand this child, to understand that life is not easy for anyone, it's okay, we are going to suffer, that's part of it.

But there are also many cool moments in the midst of all this , in the midst of so much confusion, suffering, etc. , that exists here in this third dimension, in this Mayan, in this illusion, there are also good things. There are too.

And it's having a child's eyes to be able to look at these good things too. It's not living a Pollyanna attitude: "Oh, the world is nice. " It is not.

It is painful in many ways, it is cruel in many ways, but within it all there is still a beauty, there is still a beauty. And just to finish, Jesus was walking with Peter on the road and Peter turned and said, "Look, Jesus, this dog's corpse is stinking in the middle of the road. " Jesus approached the dog, looked at its teeth and said: "What beautiful teeth this dog had.

" What beautiful teeth this dog had. That's it.