[Music] I remember when life felt simpler when the complexities of adulthood were distant and my main focus was University my world centered around my studies friends and the occasional party that offered a break from the demands of law school I was focused on my future barely thinking about life after graduation being part of the Sigma Chi Fraternity a Brotherhood with a mix of personalities taught me that character not wealth or status is what truly matters we were a close-knit group driven by the belief that we could make a difference in each other's lives in the
world it was at one of these fraternity parties a seemingly unimportant event at the time that I reconnected with Doris she was the daughter of my mother's best friend someone I knew as a child but had lost touch with over the years seeing her again felt like time had paused yet she was no longer the little girl I remembered she had become a vibrant young woman and in that moment I felt an inexplicable connection what started as casual dating quick turned into something more than I had expected the object in my hand is small and
unassuming less than 5 in long just over 2 in wide and about a/4 in thick made of plastic with a glass front it houses microchips that power its functions it's just a cell phone yet it poses the greatest threat to privacy we've ever faced these devices once Novelties are NOW essential tools we carry everywhere giving anyone the ability to monitor us Orwell's warnings seem almost quaint now the The World Keeps evolving even while we sleep I know what you're thinking there are rules and safeguards but consider this device I'm holding it belongs to my wife
whom I've been with for over 19 years she's always been loving and supportive a strong partner without being overbearing I've always believed in the sanctity of marriage a commitment I take seriously I thought we'd grow old together years ago I traded my youth and freedom for her love a commitment as strong as steel I'm no romantic fool but a realist who values marriage based on rational judgment not just love Doris my wife is the Romantic one maybe that's the root of an old incompatibility now surfacing here I am holding her iPhone at 2: in the
morning in our Small downstairs office I took it from her bedside table the only time it's ever out of her grasp like many modern women she's never without her phone which is always Within Reach I had to wait until she was asleep to pick it up why did I take her phone I wonder that myself am I losing it how can I be susp supicious of my loving wife I blame my profession it has trained me to see the dark side to be suspicious to put it simply I'm a lawyer and that has made me
wary my suspicions started with a small thing I walked into the kitchen while Doris actually Dolores but no one uses her full name was on the phone usually she'd ignore my presence but this time she hung up immediately and seemed nervous later that evening I asked to borrow her phone to order pizza we no longer have a landline and since the kids went to college we've been trying to save money wherever possible she's usually against takeout being careful about her weight but this time she agreed and handed me her phone without hesitation why not she
had already cleared her call and text logs to her it seemed like a good idea but to me it screamed deception clearing the logs felt like she was hiding something now I need to find out what that is I'm aware that tapping a cell phone is easier than a traditional one don't believe me just search bug cell phone online and see the results I even bought a 99cent book on Amazon that explains the basics the main issue with iPhones is jailbreaking which involves altering Apple's operating system to install non-apple apps my daughters unlocked their mother's
phone when she first got it proud of their skills as I hold my wife's phone and the cable that connects it to the iPad I hesitate should I really do this is this the right move it could end a good marriage of 19 years why am I looking for trouble we're a happy couple and she do anything for me though she rarely asks for anything in return I entered our marriage reluctantly but I've never regretted it let me introduce myself I'm David P Landon Jr I was at that fraternity party but forget what you think
you know about fraternities Sigma Chi the fraternity I belonged to was different we were the biggest on campus but membership was based on character not wealth or status our fraternity mixed all kinds of people jocks nerds top students and those on academic probation we had beer in the basement and tutoring sessions upstairs it was about Brotherhood and doing the right thing failing to meet the standard meant letting everyone down and that guilt was tough to Bear being a sigma meant taking on responsibilities like chaperoning the annual freshman party older brothers like me were tasked with
watching over the pledges we invited all freshmen men and women because it was known that the sigma house was a safe place I was a second-year law student you usually insulated from campus parties but it was my turn to help Doris came to the party with her friends and I recognized her immediately she was the oldest daughter of my mother's best friend and I'd seen her many times over the years in my mind she was still a child but now she was a young woman still youthful but undeniably more woman than girl I had to
go over and say hello Doris was 6 years younger than me as were her friends I intended just to greet her but Doris greeted me warmly and kissed me she was always friendly and it was clear she liked showing me off being an older student and a sigma host gave her a bit of a boost I ended up watching them all night and driving them home after the party Doris set up a date with me for the following week we hit it off and dated for the rest of the semester though it wasn't serious on
my part since she was a freshman and I was a graduate student she eventually broke up with me to date other people at the time I was fine with it but I quickly felt like something was missing I couldn't quite figure out why as she wasn't classically beautiful but there was something about her fresh innocent look she was very pretty about 5' 4 in maybe 110 lb with soft brown eyes that Drew me in it wasn't love on my part more like a deep attraction Doris had a cheerful personality and when she was gone I
felt a void I'm intelligent and perceptive but also introverted and shy I tend to retreat into myself while Doris is outgoing and makes friends easily she's always the life of the party but she broke up with me to see other guys and I accepted it though it hurt and left me with a bruised ego by July after my second year of law school I needed a summer internship finding one after your second year is crucial for job prospects after graduation I searched in New York Chicago Washington DC and other major cities but competition was tough
eventually I found a job in our quiet college town at an Old Law Firm specializing in eminent domain my apartment lease ended in June so I needed a place to stay for the summer fortunately the university opened a dorm for summer students and needed an older student to act as a responsible resident assistant the free rent allowed me to stretch my law clerk salary further Doris was in summer school and living in the dorm I supervised I tried to avoid her until one day as I was walking upstairs I noticed her a flight ahead of
me when I reached my floor she was coming down seemingly to block my way I want to talk she said about what I asked trying to move past her about us and the stupid mistake I made she regretted breaking up and asked for a second chance I was hesitant but agreed to casually date keeping my emotions guarded Doris didn't play games this time her birthday was August 15th and she turned 18 that summer when I asked what she wanted she said I want you to make love to me I'm a maid and I want you
to be my first I was surprised since we had done everything but physical engaging but I wasn't ready to go further and told her so she was persistent and as usual Doris got what she wanted the day after she turned 18 was a Saturday Doris volunteered at a women's shelter run by the local now chapter she went there early in the morning and since she didn't have a car I had to pick her up at the Student Union around 4: in the afternoon we were still living in the dorm for a few more days before
the new semester started when Doris arrived she was wearing jeans and a now t-shirt carrying an overnight bag it was clear we were spending the night together but I wondered why she needed the bag if we lived in the same building we went to my dorm room where I had no roommates I lit candles and opened a bottle of champagne we were both nervous but after a few drinks things progressed naturally Doris was amazing Doris decided it was time to tell her family about our relationship her parents Margaret and Lawrence Boswell her younger sister Maryanne
and her brother Larry Jr were a prosperous family Larry Senior was a senior VP at shamal National Bank and Margaret taught at Shaman Community College they were an impressive family and treated me like Royal y impressed by my status as a third-year law student Margaret originally from chimal had gone to high school with my mother who became a nurse Margaret Boswell was a striking woman taller than Doris and with a graceful statuesque beauty that aged well her husband was a tall silver-haired businessman a bit heavy set looking older than his 45 years while Margaret looked
younger than her age Maryann their 16-year-old daughter was beginning to gain weight but had her mother's height and looks little Larry at 11 was tall and showed promise of a strong physique he and I became great friends and now he is my best friend my parents had loved dor us long before we started dating and she quickly became part of my family even my younger sister Paula was a fan my brother was too young to have an opinion my family wasn't as well off as Doris's My Father David senior ran the family equipment rental business
with my Uncle John who was 10 years older and a bit of a tight WT the business was doing well thanks to my father's outgoing personnal and his ability to work with all kinds of people my mother Agnes worked because the business's income was modest and my uncle was conservative about profits I was close to my mother who was tall pretty and 8 years younger than my father she had striking blonde hair which she kept with the help of a hairdresser a registered nurse she worked nights earning a master's degree and becoming the head nurse
at her hospital my relationship with my father was more complicated he always tried to get me with my shot and introverted personality to open up he's a friendly outgoing man who believes in finding common ground with everyone he never starts fights preferring to turn the other cheek although we saw things differently he approved of Doris often saying she's as smart and beautiful as her mother as a child I loved waiting for my mom to come home if she worked the four to midnight shift dad would let me stay up on Friday and Saturday nights I
would babysit my siblings while he picked mom up from work and we'd have hamburgers and shakes together some sometimes mom came home alone kissed me good night and I'd catch the scent of her Chanel Number Five before she showered and went to bed even during tough times when money was tight and Mom worked more hours our home was filled with love my mom and Doris's mom were close friends and our families got along well looking forward to our marriage my mom summed up her feelings about Doris she's a fine girl Davey don't mess it up
we're all excited for the wedding despite her love for me mom sometimes still saw me as a kid I admit I could be stubborn and immature especially with Doris I enjoyed our relationship but wanted her to stay Carefree Doris had other plans she moved in with me during my final year of law school which strained our finances my mom increased Doris's allowance signaling that our relationship was getting serious by May Doris made it clear she expected commitment especially since I had taken her pureness with my impending graduation and professional career Doris felt I was leaving
her behind as she still had over a year left in school she believed what was good for her was good for us and she was usually right we were good together and she made me feel complete but I hesitated to marry her not out of love but out of comfort I used her age as an excuse she was 18 and I was almost 25 but it wasn't genuine my mom rejected that excuse saying Doris is mature for her age and you're not it's about maturity not age your hesitation shows you're still not ready she saw
through my fears of missing out on something in the end Doris's influence and support from others pushed me to marry her despite my doubts after the bar exam there was no bachelor party though Doris had a wild bachelorette party I was too focused on studying 20 hours a day to pass the New York Bar one of the toughest in the country by the time I learned I passed Doris was 3 months pregnant likely not an accident we discovered it was twins just before the exam results came out I had a job lined up but needed
to pass the bar to secure it my was tight and I worked 60 hours a week to prepare for the babies despite our financial struggles Doris never let it affect her she took her last junior year exam just an hour before giving birth to two perfect identical girls for me it was love at first sight 18 years later I still love those girls though differently Doris and I struggled initially we lived in a small apartment with tight finances but she never complained being a father was both terrifying and and heartwarming and I cherished reading bedtime
stories to my girls they adored me believing I could solve any problem and brighten any day life wasn't easy but the rewards came in the form of their hugs and kisses it wasn't all smooth sailing Doris and I faced tough times together when our kids got pneumonia and were hospitalized I fell apart but Doris stayed strong assuring me David they will get better no matter what happens I will always love and support you in those early years Doris was was the foundation of our marriage holding everything together I owed her everything and was determined to
succeed for our family more than for myself I'm naturally lazy and unambitious but marrying Doris and having our children changed everything I became driven to succeed even if it meant making compromises the first few years were tough with long hours at work and little reward I had to use my wits and sometimes bend my principles to get ahead but coming home to Doris and our daughters Pat and Beth made it all worth it Doris went to school in the evenings while I stayed home working and babysitting and I couldn't have been happier by the time
the girl started kindergarten Doris had earned her PhD she began teaching at a community college and quickly became a full professor at the University her income was a blessing but by then it was too late for me I had already made partner at my Law Firm but not in an entirely honest way my income was high but my morals were low still I had a family to care for for and as a lawyer I could justify my actions eminent domain is the government's right to take private property for public use like building roads or schools
while paying the owner its value in theory it's a necessary process but in reality it can be unfair lawyers like me step in to help Property Owners get the most money possible my success in this field started with a lucky break being seated next to James Jimmy Landrew in law school Jimmy became a key figure in the New York State Senate dealing with real estate laws our connection allowed me to gain inside information helping me secure lucrative cases where property was being taken for private interests under the guise of Redevelopment my job became about using
every trick in the book to ensure my clients got the best deal even if it meant bending the rules I worked closely with appraisers Sometimes using their influence to benefit my clients I relied on tips from Jimmy about upcoming property takings and in return I helped him out of financial troubles my firm admired my ability to spot New Opportunities and I was rewarded well over time it became easy to justify Crossing ethical lines convincing myself it was a form of community service more on that later but back to my wife's phone I installed a spy
program on Doris's phone to record her conversations and send them to my iPad it would also forward all her text messages to my phone and let me listen to her calls in real time or record them for later in theory nothing Doris said or heard would be hidden from me but the reality was different on the first day Doris spent almost 5 hours on the phone sifting through all her conversations was overwhelming she spent 45 minutes just talking with a friend about a dress she saw at the mall but didn't buy after 3 weeks of
this I started feeling paranoid and was ready to give up then a text came in I was in a meeting when my phone notified me of a new message I ignored it but then two more came in quickly after Doris and I rarely text so it was unusual after the meeting I checked my pH and saw three messages relayed from Doris's phone remember we're having lunch today Mark can't miss you that much when and where ooh ERD Cooper at 12:30 p.m. love you I realized Doris had a lunch date with someone named Mark who seemed
to miss her and said he loved her Cooper's restaurant was a small intimate Place perfect for a discreet meeting it was already after 12 and I couldn't get there in time but I could Eaves drop I activated the bug on her phone and listened in as I drove at first I only heard car noises than the sounds of a restaurant and a Hostess greeting Doris good afternoon what can I do for you I'm meeting someone oh there he is then I heard the sound of them hugging or maybe kissing they exchanged greetings and talked about
work apparently they had worked together at the University he spoke confidently complimenting her hair dress and Beauty I listened as he seduced her which would have been fascinating if it wasn't my wife when their food arrived they started talking about me how old fat gray and boring I was he told her she deserved better and he wanted to be with her but I can't I'm married I intend to grow old with David please understand can't you see he's already old you're still young live while you can if you can't leave him then we'll be separated
no I will not cheat I've only ever been with David I love my husband but I want you and need you to be complete I need David to understand that there has to be a way just give me time for everyone's sake please I've waited so long already I know but I need time okay but please no longer than that as I pulled into Cooper's parking lot their conversation shifted to mundane topics again I parked out of sight but where I could still see the door and my wife's car they discussed how they needed to
be together without jeopardizing her marriage Dora said I still love Dave we've been together so long I owe it to him to try to keep it together that's why I love you so much you have such deep feelings I just have to show you that pity is not love he replied The Arrogant idiot when they walked out I saw Doris dressed to impress not how she left the house that morning he was tall maybe 5' 3 or four slender and athletic with dark coffee colored skin handsome maybe depending on your taste but he was young
no more than 30 they kissed goodby and he hugged her tightly until she pulled away surprisingly I didn't feel as jealous as I thought I would sure I wanted to knock him up but I needed some leverage like a baseball bat and an element of surprise but there's nothing fair about seducing another man's wife he was just a smooth talker using her until he got bored Doris being smart probably knew that my wife was playing a dangerous game not with her lover but with me did she really think I would tolerate it we have a
typical American marriage maybe 5% of men rule their homes the other 95% have to compromise I had to compromise a lot even when I thought I W an argument with Doris she always got her way in the end but Mark was different new forbidden and irresistible to Doris he offered an escape from a tired old husband in an empty nest Mark was just the first man outside our marriage but likely not the last my choices were limited stay with Doris or leave her leaving was hard we'd been through so much together and I was admittedly
very dependent on her after so many years I couldn't imagine life without her but then what if that evening I tried to appear neutral if not cheerful Doris noticed my mood and asked what's wrong Dave nothing I guess just tired from work I replied you work too much you should slow down and take better care of yourself maybe join a gym she suggested I looked at Doris closely feeling critical I joined a gym last year and lost 30 of the 40 PBS I'd gained since our marriage I'd been working out with a trainer three times
a week and I was in great shape her interest in her new boyfriend wasn't about me being out of shape or boring it was about how she perceived me I was like an old comfortable pair of slippers familiar but no longer appreciated Doris needed to work on herself and eventually she bought that dress she'd been eyeing for so long she was still debating whether to try on a new man the next day I got another surprise the phone bug caught a conversation I almost missed curious I listened to see if Doris would mention anything to
her mother hey Mom just checking in about Thanksgiving you're bringing the sweet potatoes with Bourbon and the broccoli salad of course dear but tell me how was dinner with Mark oh Mom he's great but he wants to go further and I can't why not you should have pushed David years ago now you've lost your leverage the kids are grown and you can't use them as an excuse Mom I'd never do that I may be a bad wife but I can't be a bad mother nonsense you're a great wife does David ever complain no you keep
a perfect home cook well raise two great girls and satisfy your husband plus you contribute more financially yes but now I'm considering infidelity it's not cheating if he consents David needs to understand that women's needs change as they age we need variety while men just need ZX having another man won't affect David he's a good man and can prove it by giving you some space make sure he knows he'll still come first but David is still a bit immature I'm not sure he'd agree to share me and I don't want to risk losing him your
father isn't broad-minded but I I've been seeing other men for decades and he hasn't left me it took time but he adjusted you should know that yeah but David isn't Dad I don't see him accepting that I have a secret lover let me talk to Agnes she knows David well and she was the one who convinced him to marry you let's see what she thinks my mother-in-law said before ending the conversation with some cryptic words that shocked me what did she mean about my parents I had a sinking feeling that I knew but didn't want
to face it tapping door phone had been a mistake hearing what others thought of me only made me feel worse I spent the next few days waiting for something to happen but nothing did then my daughter Beth called hi Mom Pat and I will be home on Tuesday for the break but we need to be back on Saturday we have hot dates with two soccer players after their game on Sunday okay I'll let your dad know but I thought Pat was dating Rick the swimmer she is but he has to deal with it Beth giggled
I guess times have changed if guys are okay with their girlfriends dating others oh Mom you're so old-fashioned by the way how's it going with Mark nothing's going on I'm married to your dad what am I supposed to do about Mark oh please Mom Daddy is a fat old man he can't expect you to give up someone like Mark for some outdated tradition you should go for it Daddy loves you and doesn't have a choice in the background Pat added exactly then she grabbed the phone Mom do you want us to talk to Dad D
we can explain and remind him of everything you've done for him he loves you more than anything he can't expect to have you all to himself it's not fair I don't know your father never gave in to me even when he had the chance he can be very sensitive but Mom we know dad loves you if you explain how much you want and need a relationship with Mark just assure him that he'll always come first that's what I told Rick and he's fine with it Pat said your grandmother is going to talk to Grandma Langdon
I hope they can work things out so your father understands Mark is no threat and that what Mark and I have is just a shadow of what your dad and I share I was shocked and hurt hearing my daughters talk about me that way it was painful to hear them call me a fat old man even though they claimed Doris still loved me I realized I had let myself go I was in good shape but hadn't paid attention to my gray hair or outdated clothes I decided to change that I went to a salon got
my gray hair touched up and restyled Doris didn't even notice then I went to New York and bought a new wardrobe to show off my Slimmer body I didn't look 30 but I looked good for 45 still neither Doris nor my daughters noticed when they came home for Thanksgiving they gave me the same cheek kisses they always had I realized they took me for granted expecting me to be there when needed and invisible when not we had little in common and had become strangers under the same roof I knew more about them than they did
about me because I had always been withdrawn Thanksgiving arrived bringing both the boswells and Landin together 21 people in all after watching the parade and soccer game on TV the women gathered in the kitchen and the men in the living room I slipped away to the family room where my daughter-in-law and Beth were watching the small children I locked myself in put on headphones and listened to the conversation in the kitchen through my wife's phone I recognized my daughter Patty's voice saying he's gone into his room and closed the door okay someone tell me what's
wrong with my son I heard my mom ask what do you mean mom Doris replied well he has new clothes a new haircut and less gray hair my mom said honestly I noticed something too but couldn't pinpoint it Doris added he's also thinner than last year my sister Paula observed having not seen me since last Christmas yeah it could be mom agreed I don't know he's been really down the last two weeks I thought maybe he was having trouble at work again Doris said you don't think he knows about Mark do you my mother in-law
asked I doubt it and there's nothing to know I haven't done anything with Mark Doris responded maybe heun having a midlife crisis the girls have left home and he's at that age my mom suggested yes that would explain the changes my mother-in-law said we should be cautious if heun having a midlife crisis we need to ease him into things my mom advised maybe I should put mark on hold Doris said nonsense Davey needs a gentle push we need to get him out of this funk and help help him adjust it won't help if you're depressed
too my mom insisted so should mom tell him she wants a new lover Patty asked not all at once we should get him talking to your dad and Larry they can share their experiences they've both adjusted well and there's no reason Dave can't do the same but if he's feeling old and like life is passing him by we need to ease him into the idea first mom explained being a betrayed Patty giggled of course not your father is a proud man he needs care guidance I never let my husband go without even when he wasn't
first in my heart Davey knows he's loved and it's up to all of us to make sure he feels that my mom said the conversation continued with the women discussing how to manage me how and when Larry and my father should prepare me for the realities of married life with a hot wife they believed they were simply satisfying Doris's natural needs to keep the marriage strong my mom was the driving force with the most experience they talked about me like I was a child child trying to get me to behave I listened until I couldn't
take it anymore and went for a long walk when I returned Doris was concerned no one had noticed me leave and my return made them Wonder later when we were alone Doris asked what was bothering me I can't say exactly but I know things need to change and I'm not sure I'm ready for the unknown baby no matter what I'll always love you you'll always be the most important person in my life she said snuggling up to me I didn't respond because her words made me feel guilty as they always did the first Saturday in
December I went to a Giants game with my dad and father-in-law Larry got great seats and my Dad paid for a limo and drinks after an awkward start they tried to talk about how great it was to let your wife have a lover touching on all my mom's points the main idea was that women of a certain age need a young lover and if you love your wife you should let her explore I stayed silent until the last 2 minutes of the game then finally spoke I don't know everything but if I ever catch Doris
with another man our marriage is over no ifs ands or buts my elders spent the rest of the game trying to change my mind but I repeated that any infidelity would end our marriage who needs a promiscuous as a wife because that's exactly what she would be I said which led them to call me immature and bigoted before heading to the men's room they were gone a long time and we left the stadium in silence later that evening I realized it wasn't just a long wait for the men's room my dad and father-in-law had called
home both my mom and mother-in-law spoke with Doris before we even got back discussing the situation and planning their next steps less than a week later Larry and Dad dragged me to a gentleman's club with dancers and bar Maids while they indulged in overpriced drinks and lap dances I stuck to soft drinks and avoided any such entertainment their advice boiled down to the supposed benefits of an open marriage I finally said I can't trade my wife's Fidelity for a lap dance and left catching a cab home alone nothing more was said about that night as
Christmas approached the conversations I overheard grew more intense Mark was flirting with Doris and pushing for a meeting during the school break a perfect time since I was supposedly working anyone who looked closely at me would have noticed something was wrong now for a confession I had crossed ethical lines in my business dealings it started with Keyhole Lots small Parcels of land with limited access these Lots were cheap and undesirable located miles from a highway but when a national retailer needed a Warehouse with Interstate access those lots suddenly became valuable I had inside information from
my buddy Jimmy and found a small for sale sign on a rundown property a 250 acre former dairy farm worth little at the time but soon to Skyrocket in value I emptied my savings to buy the land hiding the purchase through a Wyoming Corporation with no traceable connections to me I lied to Doris blaming my financial strain on the economy and competition instead of being angry Doris supported me working extra and cutting back on everything except the girl's needs she didn't buy anything for herself for over a year while I struggled two years later I
sold the land at a huge profit but questions arose I stayed small and out of sight to avoid scrutiny I never touched the money telling myself it was for our old age hoping that by then no one would question how I earned it I was desperate to keep my secret from Doris and our families we spent Christmas Eve at a relative's house as usual but hosted Christmas Day at our place Doris and my mom had coordinated the meal Doris made a roast turkey Mama Boswell prepared a crown roast of lamb and my mom had a
ham in the oven around 1 in the afternoon I lifted the stuffed turkey from the trunk of Doris's new Mercedes a birthday gift from her parents with a sizable down payment David when you're done bringing in the turkey I'd like to talk to you in the den my mother said it wasn't a request but her tone was gentle almost sympathetic the den was a small quiet room at the front of the house when I entered mom was sitting on a short couch and gestured for me to sit beside her as I sat down she took
my hands in hers her cool touch familiar from my childhood David what's going on you don't seem like yourself if you're in trouble the family is here to help she said leaning in and looking me in the eye waiting for a response what could be wrong I have a loving family a supportive wife and two devoted daughters I replied though my words felt Hollow my mom wasn't fooled she could sense what was left unsaid David a good man supports his wife in what she needs being a good husband means making sacrifices just as your wife
has done for you over the years she continued appealing to the value she had taught me as a child but she misunderstood who I had become thinking I was still the man she knew the thing is I don't think having a promiscuous as a wife is Honorable we all sell ourselves for what we want but not every transaction is dishonest some promises are made before God if we don't try to keep them a woman might kiss her son good night with lips still warm from infidelity at this mom recoiled as if I'd slapped her her
emotions were clear surprise shame anger and finally pain David what did you say I said your kisses after your adulteries were an Abomination she let go of my hands and ran out of the room I didn't need to hear Doris's anguished words to know the impact of what I'd said Mommy what happened Doris cried this was clearly a planned intervention with the family ready to confront me but when I left the room no one was around mom must have fled to the kitchen likely with another family member I decided to make a quiet exit taking
Doris's Mercedes and driving to the state park to the hendrik Hudson observation deck a place I used to go in high school it took me until senior year to even get to first base with a girl there I was never a Casanova but by the time I turned 25 and graduated from law school women saw me differently unfortunately by then Doris had already laid claim to me and she wasn't letting go looking at my situation it was a no- win scenario when Doris needed me I was expected to comply and now that she wanted someone
else I was supposed to submit again giving her the freedom I never had Strangely I understood the logic Doris had sacrificed more for our marriage than I had she made it work raised our kids and held everything together if I had stayed single we likely wouldn't have had kids bought a house or planned for for retirement now Doris wanted a little harmless fun something she felt she deserved she didn't deny me the chance she just didn't think I'd take it I thought I'm old and fat my Mom's intentions were to make me accept my limitations
while reassuring me that they still loved me and would support me they thought they were being kind and maybe I was selfish I knew this moment would come I'm not blind or stupid but Mom and Doris were right I stayed a child worse I became spoiled I saw the game and sank into it pretending I did it for others or because it was necessary it wasn't I cheated because I wanted to win not for money but for the sake of winning losing to Doris felt like losing in life and I'd been losing to her for
20 years parking the car I pulled out my iPad and open the spyware heun not in the house and mom's car is gone I heard my daughter Beth say with any luck he won't come back said Anne Larry's wife I always knew Anne disliked me but now she had a reason an is attractive not exactly beautiful but she has a certain appeal and a seductive voice I could see why Larry not the sharpest married her but it was a mistake she flaunted her infidelities Larry a vice president at his family's Bank ignored the gossip and
her behavior content with his fat salary and comfortable life they had a 5-year-old son with the same blonde hair and blue eyes as Larry and they seemed to get along well enough as I listened my mom started plotting my son is more than stubborn he practically called me a promiscuous she said I don't believe that my mother-in-law replied Dave is too good a man for that he seems to know everything the old folks must have slipped up and he took it the wrong way my mom suggested what should we do I don't want to lose
my husband Doris said we need to be cunning if he won't come willingly we'll have to trick him mom advised we shouldn't underestimate him my sister warned he's always been shrewd maybe not the smartest but definitely cunning remember what he did to Uncle Jack during the poker game she was referring to when as a teenager I caught my uncle cheating in our poker games I figured out his trick and knock him at his own game for weeks he couldn't expose me without revealing his own cheating so the game stopped and he avoided me my sister
remembered this because she once asked why Uncle JN was upset and I laughed yes but he has a weakness we can exploit mom said and then she laid out her plan the weakness my mom referred to was my low tolerance for booze I don't drink much but when I do I get happy and then pass out her plan was to get me drunk at a New Year's Eve party with Anne flirting with me the idea was that I'd wake up in another bed confronted by an angry wife faced with evidence of my infidelity I'd be
pressured into agreeing to open our marriage which really meant Doris would have her fun while I stayed home the problem was Anne's reluctance to seduce the old fat man they figured I wasn't attractive enough but Anne was the best choice since she was married to my friend Larry which would add to the guilt an didn't need to actually do anything just get some compromising pictures to help they enlisted my brother Samuel's shy wife Elaine who was eager to fit in and would be the perfect witness as the newest family member married for just two years
and currently pregnant sitting in my wife's expensive car I looked out at the northern cat skills where Washington Irving set rip vanwinkle the fog rolling over the dark mountains created an eerie scene fitting for an Irving Tale but not for listening to your marriage fall apart then Doris spoke up we need to give Dave more time another chance she said what about Mark will he wait her mother asked Mark is worried we both have this week off and he thinks it's the perfect time to get a room but I still need David he's my first
and true love I'm going to work this out with him he's never denied me anything and I don't think he'll start now we just need to reach an understanding Doris replied my plan will work you're husband deserves this for his attitude talk to him more but don't keep Mark waiting because of my stubborn son my mom advised I'll give daa one more chance to step up Doris concluded I had no choice but to return and endure Christmas dinner with my family everyone was cold toward me except Anne who had apparently resigned herself to flirting with
the old fat man Doris pulled me out the door to her Mercedes what about Christmas dinner I asked we're not going we need to talk she replied is there something to talk about I asked yes but not here she said with a Sly smile she drove us to the Hilton where she had already booked a room white star champagne was waiting when we arrived what's wrong love I asked nothing's wrong please stop worrying it's not about us I love you and always will I want to be with you forever just like we promised forget everyone
else you know I could never love anyone else I said yes love no she replied is there a difference I asked yes I'm trying to assure you that we'll be together forever she said you can keep a bird in a cage but don't leave the door open I said what does that mean I offer us freedom because we love each other that's what keeps us together I won't fly away she said please don't believe me I said I do but you're wrong no believe me I can only love you she insisted I had no answer
she missed the point entirely don't let male pride hurt us we're just talking about physical needs it doesn't mean anything she said D this is an argument you can't afford to win be happy with what we have just don't open the door don't be stubborn you know I'll always take care of you don't be foolish I said I hugged her realizing our future was uncertain she couldn't see that everything was built on a lie a lie I'd allowed to persist for over 19 years Doris believed the lie she told herself and I had never challenged
it I love you everything will be fine believe me she would say not realizing she wasn't the problem no believe me I will never accept what you're offering I've kept my end of the bargain I said ending the conversation the following Wednesday Mark invited my wife to his house for lunch I listened just long enough to confirm they were done with our marriage by mutual agreement the loving couple didn't mention me as if I didn't exist Friday was New Year's Eve I started the evening with a drink at Irish Mist my favorite spot which is
a restaurant bar I invited all my older friends for drinks but no family members sticking to free of booze beverages I didn't arrive at Larry Junior's house until 8:00 p.m. taking a cab my old Honda was parked some distance from Larry's place that day hopefully unnoticed when I arrived I Rak at the bar I'd spent most of the day in and I was feeling worse for wear it wasn't long before they handed me a very strong drink they started off slow but quickly intensified the level of intoxication I had a tough time shaking them off
but luckily Ann and Larry had house PL and a few trips to the restroom allowed me to stay sober while I pretended to be drunk an asked me to dance I let her lead and after a while I responded as best I could apparently this happened about half an hour after the ball dropped in Time Square and by then I was fully pretending to be completely intoxicated it must have been convincing because an and Elaine took my hands and started helping me up the stairs once in a room I assumed was the guest bedroom they
tossed me onto the bed I don't think I want you to do that I said said Elaine jumped back surprise written on her face crap crap crap Anne cursed my sister warned you but who listens in this family I said now both of you go downstairs and send that traitorous fool who calls herself my wife up here with those words they ran out of the room a long time seemed to pass as I sat listening to the commotion below a few raised voices were heard but I didn't bother to Eaves drop as that part of
the drama was already over eventually Doris appeared in the bedroom doorway you wanted to see me she asked yes come in and sit down I said as softly and kindly as I could under the circumstances Dora sat down and the tears started flowing when her nose began streaming the tears stopped I'm sorry that I made a terrible mistake listening to the others she said what are you sorry for that you wanted another man or that you had fun with him last Wednesday at his apartment I asked she shrieked and for the first time I saw
fear in her eyes no maybe it's just that Mom's plan didn't work and now you're caught up in it please David I love you it doesn't mean anything you have to believe that she said perhaps a little surprised at how calm I was no Doris I won't forgive you oh please David forgive me and let's forget about it oh I forgive you Doris there's really nothing to forgive except a little deception the problem is the rest of it you see I don't love you never have and probably never will you don't mean mean that David
that's just your anger talking she said I couldn't help but laugh do I seem angry let me assure you I am not I've spent the last 19 plus years in this marriage it wasn't all bad it's been a kind of gilded cage but now the door is open and I'm walking out thanking you for finally setting me free David please that's not what you mean I'm not going to let you divorce me over such a small thing after all the years of loving devotion I've given you do we you want I'm leaving I had it
all worked out you held me with pure guilt and now I have none you wanted an open marriage and I'm giving you the most open marriage possible one without a husband with those words I stood up and started to walk away what will you tell our daughters she asked her anger Rising goodbye is all I will say I wish to God I could believe they weren't mine but considering what they are and what my mother is like I have no doubts so goodbye is all I have for them nothing more then I stopped and thought
to myself that's not true my girls are the little ones who will always be with me they are locked in my heart they never grew up they still wonder if the ducklings will cross the road with those words I left my crying wife and walked down the stairs of course my mother supported by my father tried to stop me from leaving where are you going mom demanded a good question that I don't have an answer to but I guess to a lot of places I haven't been able to visit in 20 years I said so
you're just going to run away because life didn't work out the way you wanted it to she said no I'm leaving to find my life the one I've missed so much oh please David be reasonable everything you have is here everyone who loves you is here everything we've ever done has been for you don't let stupid male pride ruin your life you don't have a life without us how will you live who will take care of you if you leave there may be no going back son think about what that means Doris has been good
to you we all know how dependent you are dad said I'm sorry but I was already gone you just didn't notice the key was in the lock you just had to turn it I said with those words I kissed my mom gently on the cheek and left waving broadly at the others and saying a firm goodbye I left my wife daughters brothers sisters and parents behind I was free I was alone but in truth I'd always been alone inside and I wouldn't be alone for long an older but not fat man possessed the greatest AF
eiac in existence cash Millions for physical attractiveness I was cashing in and heading for the most remote and decadent places I could find I traded one old promiscuous for as many young ones as I could handle after 20 years of incarceration I was out of prison and a new and different world awaited me [Music]
