you know that feeling when something feels a bit off in the world but you can't exactly put your finger on it that's exactly what I used to feel I used to live in Stockholm that's the main capital of Sweden I used to work in a little tiny store selling completely useless pointless running gear and I kept thinking to myself is this it is this what my life is supposed to be life can just be about working commuting and waiting for the weekend to happen and then started all up again on Monday because Society kept telling
me that rich and happy meant having a fancy car or the latest phone but in reality rich is actually what I have today we own the land we live on we have our very own water source we're healthy we decide over our own time we live together with nature we have our little son August we have our dogs and we have each other that's rich to me so now to the more important question how did I get here how did I escape the matrix well for me I had two very clear aha moments the first
one was at that job I mentioned earlier the year was 2017 and I had quite recently bought this cabin I bought it for $228,000 and it's this cabin and three other small cabins and 20,000 square m on property we'd say 2 hectares in Sweden I don't know if that's translates to you but maybe someone in the comments can help me out so I bought this place uh just as a vacation house a weekend house that I can drive up to it's 6 hours from Stockholm to here and I drove here almost every weekend to just
hang out because I really enjoy my time here but that summer of 2017 I got a paid vacation for 3 weeks from that store that I hated back in Stockholm uh so I took all of my three weeks spent them here invited a friend over we just renovated fixed just hanged out went fishing just had a really good time um and those three weeks obviously just flew by and before I knew it I was back in Stockholm um I remember putting on my working clothing gear outfit stepping into the store and the colleagues was very
polite and nice and just welcom me back and said hi Kell welcome back so good to have you back have you thought about that now it's a year until you get an actual proper vacation [Music] again that was my first aha moment and I said that's no way I'm working another year in this place without getting to go to my cabin My Sanctuary what I call it here in the forest I loved being here so much so when he said those words have you realized it's another year until you get off time again it hit
me so hard that I took the decision right then and there okay I'm going to quit this job I didn't quit that day because I was a bit smart holding my emotions back because I knew I had to save up some money I couldn't just threw away that job and just hope I would make money up here um I knew no one up here uh I didn't have any family up here no friends not even an acquaintance I didn't know anyone so how would I even start earning money so I stayed in that store for
a few months I remember even sitting down with them um having meetings they were like oh okay so Kell we're going to sit down and have like a 5year plan uh with you so we can actually plan a future ahead I was like yeah yeah sure just knowing I would leave in a few months I also remember they told me like oh here you get a free um company phone uh it's free of charge you can use it uh however you would like um the only um requirement we have is that we can call you
and text you whenever you want I was like no thank you I handed the phone right back to them and they were like they were so surprised like don't you want the phone I was like no when I'm here I at work when I'm not here you can't call me I'm I don't exist for you guys and they didn't understand why I had that uh belief system they just thought I was absolutely crazy saying no to a phone uh but I went on played along with their uh fiveyear plan thing and then I quit a
few months um later with a few weeks notice I can't remember how long before then I packed up my apartment uh filled uh my little car and drove up here or the car I borrowed from my dad at that point I couldn't afford afford my own car so I drove up here sat in a cabin it was freezing cold it was December it was one of the worst coldest winters they've had here in a very long time but to this day I still want to say thank you to that colleague of mine that said oh
have you thought about that it's another year to your next vacation because I knew that was the reality but it hit me so hard like I said in the beginning life can't just be about working I mean I work my ass off when it comes to filming these videos and renovating and stuff like that but I love that that's my passion in life I have no problem working a lot but working for someone or with something that you don't enjoy it's not something I want to spend my time with life is too short in my
opinion to me the hardest part about breaking out of a filter Bumble or the Matrix is to realize that you're even in one and that colleague helped me to realize that I was in that Matrix so to speak but the scary thing about when you're out of that is to start asking questions because curious questions is a really good thing but they can also be very scary because they often lead to something quite uncomfortable we are so used to in these days to choose Comfort over happiness Comfort is knowing where we're living we have a
safe environment there we're having a steady salary we know when and how and how much money is coming in each month we like safety we like comfort and we choose that over happiness and that's kind of how I switch things around I gave up the comfortableness of having that salary and that job to be very uncertain and a bit scared or a lot scared um still am at at some points um to be more happy but I completely agree that can be super scary but that's step one realizing that you're even in the Matrix so
to speak so the second AA moment I had was when I have lived here for a few months at least we're now in 200 18 and I've started to land a bit I started to figure some things out uh I had still no idea how to earn money how to make new friends and stuff out here and I randomly stumbled upon this guy called Navid modiri he's a podcaster lecture and so on and he was giving a lecture called Everything Is Made Up and in the beginning I didn't exactly understand the concept but the basic
idea is basically that everything that surrounds you are made up by someone everything from uh being a filmmaker um being a police office officers that we have dogs as pets the internet um a chair is made up by someone and when you realize that everything in life and there can be jobs beliefs whatever you want to when you understand that everything is made up that kind of a secret that is kind of a secret weapon of understanding that if everything is already made up you have the power to make stuff up and when I realize
that I've been very entrepre I've been very entrepreneurial in my younger years and I love coming up with new stuff so when I moved here I started my own company I started figuring out what can I make make up uh to make income basically that was my whole point uh because I wanted to create a job for myself that I was happy about and was inspired by but also bring in some money of course so I started a I did several things I started a running club that had paid members to come and run with
me because I'm an educated uh running coach that's what's I partly did in stockolm as well I gave lectures uh I went and hosted events on the weekend I did so many random things and each thing didn't pay me that much at all but the sum of them all together actually became a decent salary because I think that we have this weird Concept in life that we think that salary should only come from one place yeah it's a bit more uncertain to like have several things maybe coming in because you don't know how much is
coming in each month especially if you're self-employed and running your own company uh it's the same these days I mean it's been six years now in the cabin and YouTube and everything I do with my business today goes very much up and down and you also have to ask yourself how badly do you want this because going after one's dream is almost guaranteed to be very challenging when I first moved here I didn't have much at all when it came to luxuries I didn't have this luxuries when I came to this cabin I didn't have
this stove at all uh it was open fireplace all the fires that I lit here still the heat just went straight up the chimney and then out I slept here on the floor um wrapped some blankets and um a sleeping bag um it was very simple um I had very shaky and unstable electricity um we got running water this year so I absolutely didn't have running water back then 6 years ago uh I didn't have any internet I didn't know anyone yeah looking bad back at that time I can almost romanticize it a bit but
it was very very challenging I felt very Alone um I was also questioning myself a lot like what am I doing I was sitting right in front of here at this fire and just like wrapped in so many blankets freezing my ass off thinking like am I complete doing this um and yeah I had so much doubt I was trying to figure so much out so realize that when you're going after something like this yeah it's going to be a very bumpy R ride and that's okay but you have to be okay going in with
it that it's not going to be all um Roses and Rainbows and sunshine uh because he's not and that's why I also try to share stuff as honestly as I can on this channel because I don't want to romanticize this this lifestyle in any way you of course mostly see the highlights in our life you don't see when Christine and I are arguing or when I'm frustrated at the dogs or I'm sad about my lack of cre creativity when it comes to making videos or like yeah stuff like you know everyday stuff I don't show
that so but I can easily talk about it that it's happening but you don't exactly have a camera in your hand when you're arguing with your girlfriend or yeah being frustrated at the dogs um so I think an important lesson is to be okay that it's going to be very struggling because in that first period I remember I called a lot of friends I called my family a lot to just talk uh because I felt very very lonely in the beginning because I didn't know if I did the right thing or not uh I had
recently been dumped by my previous girlfriend so I was very sad about that so sitting alone I celebrated my birthday here completely alone I celebrated Christmas here alone I had super lovely neighbors that invited me over for um Easter to celebrate with them um but yeah it was a very challenging start I'm very happy I went through it if I have to be honest now because that was the probably the lowest point of my life even though I was going after my dream so those two can also exist at the same time just because you're
leaping into the unknown and Escaping The Matrix is not going to be super fluffy and romantic and lovely it's going to be really really tough and yeah I just want to to bring that up because I think it's important part of it not try to romanticize it uh too much so when I bring this topic up with people and start discussing the idea of Escaping The Matrix there's always one question that keeps popping up and that is how do you deal with the fear of Escaping The Matrix because you can like the idea of Escaping
The Matrix but there's also a lot of fears in it so how do you deal with that and the best advice I gave to myself and I want to give to you now as well is that trying to tell yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if you try and if you have that kind of a mindset which I had back then so I try to picture myself okay if I move to the cabin I live there for a while and it doesn't work out I don't find a way to earn money I
don't make any new friends I don't enjoy it maybe I feel too lonely the worst thing that could happen is I pack everything up again I move back to Stockholm try to rent an apartment try to find a job and then I'm just back to where I started and I mean that's not too bad because if I try this lifestyle and I don't enjoy it as much as I hoped I wouldn't see it as a failure it would be a failure to me if I never tried it because we're so afraid of failing that we
don't even try I would be super proud of proud of myself if I actually went for this lifestyle even if I didn't like it move back to Stockholm and then just be there for a while trying to figure out the next step I wouldn't move back there permanently I would just use it as a stepping stone or a springboard or something to just get to the new thing because the next thing is always lurking around the corner if you stay curious so don't stop up with just thinking that oh I didn't like this thing I
will never try something again that's not the way to see it at least from my point of view trying it is the most healthy thing you can do because the more you try in life the more you're going to realize that it's okay to fail it's okay to don't like things that you thought you would like because I really there's a lot of things in this place I thought I would enjoy um that I haven't liked so much and that were like moving away from um and that's also okay like thing change in lives things
advance and move forward and you develop as a person as life goes on as well I'm not the same person I was six years ago when I first moved here I the same core person but I've developed and become a better person in some angles and maybe not I wouldn't say become worse in some areas but at least I'm not developed as much in those areas as I maybe hoped um and that's okay as well so try to tell yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if you try and I think you will
realize it's not that bad when I post a video just like this one I know there's going to be comments saying that I have an unfair advantage in life and they are absolutely true I have an unfair advantage in life I grew up in Sweden I grew up with supportive parents I grew up with a very safe childhood good friends I had a good time in school that's a very unfair advantage in life because not all people are that lucky to be brought up that way and I know that so that's not something that that's
not something I take for granted whatsoever but it's also important to acknowledge when you talk about stuff like this uh because not all people can do what I do uh like leaving your job or yeah quitting your job moving up to the North like this because they don't have that support to fall back on I knew that when I moved here um like we talked about before what what's the worst thing that could happen say that I didn't like it here and I moved back to Stockholm and I didn't find an apartment to rent or
I couldn't afford one or um I couldn't find a job there I knew that I can always move in with my sister or my mom or something like that it I wouldn't be homeless and that's a very unfair Advantage because again not all people get that I just think it's important to bring up uh because I think it's a very relevant point and I don't take this for granted like I said it's I feel very very fortunate to have this kind of upbringing and safeness uh around me and I still have to this stay with
friends that would support me no matter what family support no matter what and in all honesty this is not not like a solo mission that I'm on or have been that have made this journey of mine successful it's thanks to my family and friends and people I met along the way even neighbors here I wouldn't have been able to do this without them and that's again an unfair Advantage but there's not much I can do about that I'm just want to acknowledge it and say that I'm very very very thankful for it and another thing
I would like to make clear in this video is that we all have different versions of What the Matrix is my version is to live here with my family be as much self-sufficient as we possibly can we're planning to extend the garden like we talked about before for uh get more animals and be more self-sufficient absolutely we live in a forest we live here in the forest but and we want to do it as naturally and organic as we possibly can but right now we're still dependent on going to the grocery store um getting gas
for our cars at a gas station you know we're depending on services and um stores like that and I don't think I'm ever want to break free of that I don't picture my version of The Matrix to be or being outside of the Matrix to be like sitting here like a Hermit in the cabin and like I can do everything myself um that's not my view I think it's nice to be able to be dependent on other people and so on I don't mind that whatsoever I'm even dependent on the internet out here because otherwise
I won't be able to talk to you guys and that's something I really want to have I actually had a comment on my last video that was from a from a Norwegian guy um I'll post a comment here on screen it's a very long one but you can pause it and read it if you want to but we had a healthy discussion about uh the last video I make about questioning everything and he had this idea of like yeah but I don't want to just be live in the forest and be on my own he
actually enjoyed living in the city and I get that this is just my version of The Matrix and as I told him as well not everything is black and white I love living in the forest I love nature I love being here with living with animals and so on but I also really love technology I love the internet I love to be able to talk to you guys guys this way without the internet here that wouldn't even be possible I like to play computer games with my friends at night sometimes I like both worlds I
usually say that I like to have one foot in nature and the other foot in technology because I think both things can coexist uh I don't necessarily think that one thing rule out the other um I'm I'm black and white in a lot of things in life um but not in that department I think Yu Kim uh that had that comment had a really good point and I think it's that's that's also what I want these videos to be a healthy discussion H you can have completely different opinions but you still respect each other you
listen to each other and I asked in that video that can we just have a healthy discussion about this and that's what I would like with this video as well it's so nice when I have a community that actually are open to not agreeing with me but still can make a comment in a respectful nice way and I can answer them back and say I don't agree with you but this is my way of seeing at it um and actually listening to each other without just just bombarding your opinion on me or I'm bombarding on
you I think the best way to talk about these things is have a discussion and a conversation instead of just a monologue because even though I'm just talking to you through your screen right now I want you to answer back to me if you want to because I think that's how we develop us as people as a community that's how we move forward we need to bring stuff like this up um so if you have an opinion about what your Matrix is I would love to hear it because I think it's might be very different
from from um what my Matrix is and we have yeah different versions so feel free to uh leave a comment so we can also have a discussion a healthy discussion uh under this video as well so on that topic if you like these kind of videos where I sit down and talk directly to you this way no extra fancy music or cinematic or really cool camera shots just me talking to you uh I've made a whole playlist of the all the other videos I've made in the same exact Style just different topics I have videos
like dumped fired am broke very personal story I have living my dream life but still unhappy why I started to question everything for people feeling behind in life all of these videos and a bunch of others as well you can find in the link down below um in my playlist that I've created so check those out if you want to continue watching my videos otherwise I'll see you guys in another video and I hope you take care until then thank you for listening bye
