this video is brought to you by the ridge wallet a sleek light and super efficient wallet with over thirty thousand five star reviews this was my wallet before i got the ridge wallet and the ridge wallet changed my whole pocket situation it forced me to be efficient and organized with my card selection and frankly made my life a lot easier the wallet holds up to 12 cards plus room for cash and there are over 30 colors and styles including carbon fiber and burnt titanium the wallet is super durable and industrial and will last you a
very long time plus they come with a lifetime warranty so if you're looking for a new wallet give it a try and you can get 10 off by going to ridge.com rain and using the code rain and if you don't like it you have 45 days to send it back for a full refund i hate misato i hate shinji and i hate the first even more i hate my dad i hate my mom the one i hate in her episode 8 introduction was a welcome change of pace a breath of new life i wasn't too
fond of her bullying of shinji at first but as her story unfolded she became one of my favorite evangelion characters asuka's very nature is contradictory as are her needs and wants this stems from her traumatic childhood asuka's mother neglected her in favor of her work and that work turned her mind unstable her mother began carrying around and speaking to a doll believing that it was her daughter her father paid little attention to her and later left their mother for another woman who would soon become asuka's stepmother as asuka's biological mother took her own life asuka
would find her mother's body hanging throughout her whole life asuka wasn't ever noticed or frankly even seen by her parents and her mother specifically and she craved her mother's attention when no one wants you or sees you you begin to blame yourself you begin to hate yourself just like asuka did [Music] so asuka wants to be seen as she gets older that desire turns into wanting to be embraced and loved it's why she kisses shinji when she's bored to see if he will hold her if she'll touch her it's the only reason she pilots the
ava so that she can feel important needed and seen piloting that ava is the only thing that gives her a sense of identity she isn't anything but a pilot and she must succeed asuka has no friends no family no one who has shown any attention or loved her and she feels like she isn't worthy of their love in addition she believes piloting the evo will give her that when she is a world famous pilot people will have no choice but to pay attention to her and to see her but at the same time without anyone
in her life she's had to depend only on herself the young pilot believes that she needs to do everything alone as she's been self-dependent her whole life more than that as soon as you are forced to listen to someone and to answer to their requests you become a doll osuga craves that autonomy and that false sense of maturity that she has bleeds into the way she views her own appearance because she's had to grow up quickly she feels older like an adult and because she needs to be loved asuka looks towards kaji to affirm those
feelings who of course rejects the teenager asuka's personality is everything that shinji is not passionate energetic boastful and stubborn asuka's second line in the series was her boasting her appearance and at the very first chance she got she gloated about her eva unit being better than shinji's that fiery personality and confidence is a facade for her wavering self-esteem but shinji and asuka are very alike they are both broken kids with traumatic childhoods who are piloting evas to find a sense of self-worth they both hate themselves asaka berates and disrespects shinji sensitivity and masculinity she ridicules
rey for being a doll all to hide her own imperfections she hates everyone because she's in so much pain as a result of her childhood and to cope she believes that she has to compete with everyone competing with shinji and rey to become the best ava pilot to appease her worth and with misado for kaji's attention and asuka keeps on losing thinking back to how she flaunted her ava unit when she was first introduced asuka isn't the most important ava unit in fact she is the least because of shinji's prowess and rey's capability to be
replaced as she constantly gets upstaged and embarrassed by shinji and rey who even had to save her asuka's self-worth and confidence that she carries begins to waver heavily causing her to lose her sinking abilities with her ava unit and without her eva she would fall deeper and deeper into depression and into nothingness asuka already hates herself for her childhood and without her eva she has no identity asuka becomes no one and in those seven days she spent alone asuka's cheekbones were sunken and she looked so lifeless the fact that it took seven days to track
her would in a sense prove her importance or lack thereof to nerve asuka is one of my favorites because she is so human the way she handles her pain is very human i know a few people who are once just like her who put on the confident and boastful mask but when it came time to be alone they broke just like her you can only trick your brain into appearing confident for so long and asuka's needs are pretty human as well we all need to be seen and to be loved by someone asuka has these
moments where she is a soft almost grounded teenager where she's kind and even willing to open up to shinji but before she does she always pushes him and others away to protect herself which brings us back to that contradiction that she carries asuka wants to be alone but can't handle the loneliness she faces she wants love but rejects any advances towards the real her she wants to be protected and cared for but puts on this facade that phases so many asuka feels all of this at once until one ultimately overtakes the other to me asuka's
regression in evangelion is what shinji could have become however in the end of evangelion we see an asuka who discovered that the ava that she treated like a machine contained the soul of her own mother and she found out that she was in fact never alone and asaka would accept the idea that she was in fact seen not only by her eva but by those around her especially shinji and she expresses that with a caressing hand at the end of the film she expresses that by rejecting human instrumentality she accepted that she pushed him away
every time he tried to get to know her this was in asuka who realized she was deserving of love and that she was capable of healing but i think that initial version of asuka the one who wanted nothing more than to be seen and to be loved but ultimately failed resonated so much with me she's a 14 year old who's made to believe that piloting in eva will give her life meaning and without it she was no one it was tragic and heartbreaking and it's a story that i came to appreciate so much more because
of her failure i hate it i hate it all i hate everyone but the one i hate the most is me you
