so you want to become more respected here's the thing you don't have to trick people into respecting you we're talking about commanding genuine respect because you deserve to be heard and seen and respected and when you learn to grow into that highly respectable version of yourself people will not feel comfortable approaching even within a mile of you with the intention of disrespect they wouldn't even think about it and they wouldn't dare if you don't know me my name is May and my channel is all about improving our lives and self-respect comes from working on ourselves
and I'd like to thank grow therapy for sponsoring this video as well so like this video if you found it helpful and subscribe to my channel if you like my vibe and you want to improve your life if you want to be respected you need to give people something to respect the most straightforward way to do this is you need to have the discipline to love and respect yourself first as long as you love and respect yourself it will show up in your aura and people will respect you more as a result because you are
setting an example and people will always follow your lead self- Lov is a journey and it's not the easiest Journey because it involves taking time to know what you're good at and what you need to improve on and it's also a discipline discipline means if you feel bad or worthless you love yourself anyway no matter what you're still loving yourself and discipline in yourself is respect for yourself and you need to know who you are inside out and study your own world very well so that no matter what other people ever have to say about
you only you know the truth the way to do that is to spend time investing in your yourself and learn to put yourself first here's the thing for example I literally couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me I love the people who love me because I do reciprocate my love that's my value that's what I'm about but the only person who I truly care about when it comes to judgment and opinions is the younger me if younger me sees me now today she would be so obsessed obsessed that's my goal and that's what I
care about I want to be someone that little me can be proud of in reality whether people like you or not that's a bonus but you liking yourself that's priceless that's what truly matters you will spend the most time with the things that you like the most right and you will avoid what you don't like so learn to spend the most time with yourself why do I say this some people are afraid to be alone and they're afraid to be with themselves that's why there are people out there with no self-awareness and those will be
the same people who feel insecure all the time because they have no self- insurance and you need to ask 10 people their opinions before they make a decision when you spend time with yourself and Learn To Love Yourself you also automatically learn to trust yourself and you trust your own opinions more that is an incredibly respectable quality people tend to mirror how you treat yourself so respectability is also about knowing what you are worth and by building reasons why people should respect you when you build value and build worth you will hold higher standards for
everything in your life and the people and situations that don't meet your standards they will know and they will automatically exit I learned this through experience you will be treated very differently when you look like you take very good care of yourself when you're comfortable with who you are as a human being which you can only be when you spend time with yourself you can very easily do this for example investing in your knowledge in your skill sets by studying by spending time in your grooming it's going to show up physically in your appearance and
the way that you behave mentally and the way that you think and the way articulate yourself and Also spiritually in your Vibe and your aura and your overall energy that you bring to the room because all of these combinations is undeniable proof that you really do respect your time and yourself this is just cold heart facts this is how you show how much you value yourself through the level of investment you put into yourself through the level of comfort and confidence you get from spending time taking care of yourself that by the way is also
how you get the halo effect that's how you become very confident that's how you become self assured think about it you will automatically have respect for someone who has a doctorate degree right that's just one example that's an investment in education you can look respectable before you even say a single word through nonverbal communication that means you're putting in good effort into maintaining good hygiene you smell good your hair looks neat your appearance is well groomed and when you open your mouth it's very clear that you can articulate your words because you spend time reading
l literature and books and studies to gain knowledge and learning about new things and new words instead of Doom scrolling on Tik Tok all the time and looking at memes and looking at your Instagram reals yes this is a call out I'm call if you're doing this I'm calling you out I know sometimes you think you learn stuff from Tik Tok and reals but really can you remember it that is what I mean by this you're actually just gaining the temporary satisfaction of learning something new and then you forget about it 5 hours later and
I really really do care about this because I want you to learn the difference between real and fake dopamine I personally I try to read one to two books a week not because I'm special anyone can read a book but because I genuinely care about how I carry myself and this is so that when I speak I can sound educated and my words can have value that's what makes me so proud and so confident to be me and that's a very respectable quality a lot of you guys ask me all the time how can I
become more confident this alone will give you confidence when you can be proud of yourself when you build value in yourself you build selfworth you respect your time you know What You're Made of This Means as you invest increase value in yourself you also need to spend some time alone with yourself this is a requirement if you don't have time for yourself make the time a lot of us have been taught our entire lives especially women to put other people first and that being alone is bad and we need people around us in order to
be happy and then we need to make those people happy too we need to make everyone happy and then somehow that will make us better people no I mean it's a beautiful idea and in theory it's a good skill to have because we're all taught that people's skills are important in life but we can absolutely go too far with it too easily because it can basically cause us to push ourselves aside and sacrifice ourselves for the sake of other people and it makes us people Pleasers people Pleasers are not respected some people spend their whole
lives ignoring their own pain and themselves because they're trying to help other people all the time okay but when you're on a plane and an emergency and you have a kid with you you always need to help yourself first before you help other people in fact I learned this from experience you cannot help other people if you cannot help yourself because at the end of the day you will shrink yourself so much for giving so much away that you become a shell of who you're supposed to be and then you have no self worth left
and then other people eventually one day will look at you and they're going to be like you are not qualified to help me you can't even help yourself so that's not the way to gain respect right so if you truly want to be respected you must prove that you actually don't need other people in your life in order to survive you have to be the opposite of needy so that you don't give anyone the privilege to affect you and make you feel bad about yourself or to affect your energy nobody should ever be allowed to
do that you should be on the pedestal of your own life and if you're not already you have to learn how to do that take as much time as you want as long as you're taking the time to to help yourself I got to where I am today because I wanted more out of my Life by helping people and giving you guys value but I wouldn't have been able to do this if I didn't do a ton of inner work on myself first when you prioritize your well-being and investing in yourself your self-care your physical
health and especially your mental health that should always be on a pedestal you need to learn how to always fill your own Cup first mental health interventions like therapy has personally helped me reflect and focus on the the things that matter the most in my life it's truly one of my most important tools for self-improvement growth therapy is a great platform that offers easy access to Affordable therapy which is so important to me because therapy truly helps everyone and it shouldn't be reserved for a small group of people who can afford it out of pocket
growth therapy accepts over 50 insurance plans making sessions at average cost of just $22 depending on your co-pay and potentially even free depending on the type of plan that you have which I think is amazing you can choose from either virtual care or in-person sessions it's flexible according to your schedule and most therapists that you choose are available to meet with you within 2 days if you can't find the right fit for you it's easy to try out another another therapist through the platform if you want to learn more about growth therapy you can check
out my video link in description and thank you so much to grow therapy for sponsoring this video own your voice in order to be respected if you can do that you are honoring yourself even if you think it might be a bit polarizing then be a bit polarizing be a bit controversial even if that's really what you think then say it at worst people will see you for who you are and is that really that bad but at best you are bringing interesting opinions and discourse and you're stimulating conversations people are going to remember you
for that and this is your Shining Moment to let yourself be authentic literally it's so simple just say what you mean this alone requires maybe some of bravery and some audacity but never be afraid of audacity because that's like being afraid of your own power just try it it's worth everything to be brave so that you can say what you want to say and make your mark and that is so respectable if something bothers you say something about it this is how you teach people to respect you and not to mess with you obviously don't
be rude and obviously don't be mean the way you deliver it is everything if you can bring your ideas to the table respectfully people will have no choice but to return the favor and respect you back learning how to voice your own wants your own needs and even your pains I know that all can sound very challenging right I know it takes work but it's good to remember that we have that responsibility to ourselves to listen to our own pain and to fight for ourselves because no one else can do that for us and we
shouldn't let other people speak for us if you're silent about your pain they will un alive you and say that you enjoyed it so that's a quote actually by zor Neil huren and it really spoke to me if you're quiet about your own pain and you don't say anything someone else is going to speak on your behalf and it won't actually be what you want to say when you're not afraid of saying what you actually mean you will make peace with yourself this means the parts of you that you're still internally at war with you're
not obligated to sacrifice your own peace for the sake of other people especially with people who cannot be at peace with themselves learning to say no to people is so powerful it's the cure to people pleasing actually just practice saying no more often say no I'm busy no I don't have time right now no thank you no I don't like doing that when you say no that's incredibly respectable when you say what you mean and learn to say no more often and that's when you stop people pleasing that is the second you will allow yourself
to take up more space Not Just mental space in the way that you show up but literally physical space face if you respect yourself you will also reflect that respect onto your surroundings for example you will want to keep your room and your space clean because you want to wake up in a clean environment I don't mean to be like a neat freak and obsessively clean all the time but when you do this you will also not be okay living with a messy roommate anymore you have standards now if you have clean habits and you
live with someone who's messy and then you set that example of cleanliness for them then hopefully they have the level of self-awareness to be aware of that and follow your lead this is what self-improvement is all about it's becoming such an amazing version of you that you command that respect naturally people are like wow everyone around you can see that you are growing so much and you're setting such a great example people will naturally respect someone who can grow as a person that's what it means to take up more space that's what it means to
command respect it's not just to set your own standards but also to set an excellent example Le for everyone around you you will live up to your own standards your actions will speak louder than your words because setting standards also equals setting boundaries and these boundaries should be respected and if they're still blind to that they will fall out of alignment with you they fall out of favor with you people pleasing is when you worry about falling out of favor with them no honey it should be the other way around do they belong in your
life or not do they respect you and the thing about stopping people pleasing is that when that happens you need to let these people go and let them continue to be who they are be kind about it of course but you need to be very firm with your boundaries you need to let them know hey if you don't meet my standards and you cross my boundaries goodbye when you can let go of people who no longer meet your standards and follow your lead and grow with you you can't wait for them to catch up to
you because you cannot force change in people when you set standards for yourself naturally fewer people are going to meet your criteria and that's the beauty of not being a people pleaser and that is that the people who can meet your standards are worth it and they will actually give you a higher quality of life that's what it means to take up more space your world becomes bigger because you stop going around fixing everyone's problems because you're so focused on yourself and you naturally attract other people who also want to work on themselves even in
my personal life I only have time for people who can help themselves so that I get to hang out with the best versions of them and it's such a huge blessing to everyone not just to me and I just very naturally really respect people like that who can take up room who have high standards who can live up to those high standards and I naturally also gravitate towards them these types of people are incredibly magnetic because they're so confident they're so self assured they know who they are not just about standing standards all the time
you spend time with yourself developing who you are and investing in your growth that will help you take up space because then you begin to get such a good idea of who you are that you also know exactly who you are not in knowing who you are not and what you're not willing to accept then that is also you setting those standards and setting boundaries this will literally make it so easy for you to say yes I like this no I do not like that and when you combine that with owning your voice people will
have to hear what you have to say but also some of you guys literally need to stop apologizing all the time for everything every time that you say shrinking words and minimizing words like oh I just want to say this or things like oh sorry for bothering you sorry I'm so late you sound way less respectable instead of saying that completely eliminate the word just from your vocabulary and instead say things like thank you for waiting or can we talk about this or could you please do this for me be more direct Meandering and minimizing
it it truly helps nobody and you owe it to yourself and you owe it to other people to get to the point and the only time you ever apologize is when you're actually wrong and it's your fault that's it that's the only time you say sorry so don't say things like I'm sor sorry but I feel like you're not listening for example or instead of saying excuse me when you need to get through a crowd you're like oh sorry sorry if you bump into a chair and you say sorry to the chair sorry for what
what do you have to be sorry for if someone is not listening to you or you need to get through the crowd you shouldn't feel sorry about that you have places to be many of us have this habit where if we feel like we're constantly intruding on something and we always got to say sorry sorry for what for standing up for ourselves for being hurt never ever be sorry about anything unless you are actually wrong also you need to learn how to limit your availability stop being so 100% available all the time whenever someone wants
to hang out with you last minute or someone wants you to do something for them be a little bit limited and that's how you create more value like I said time to yourself is so valuable it's so precious so don't drop everything for a last minute date so imagine you're like a club right and you have red velvet ropes in the entrance up in front and you make people wait in line even if the club is not full if someone wants to see you they can't just intrude on your life like that they need to
follow your standards and follow your rules be less Golden Retriever and more black cats you can watch my video about cultivating black cat energy if you haven't already it's like how Chanel doesn't go on sale because they know their worth it's a construct absolutely it's a construct but High internal value is absolutely also something that you can build construct your own value you're not Dollar General you're Chanel so you need to stay firm in your value and be consistent in what you believe in if you truly want to love and respect yourself act like it
you can't just say one thing and mean something else so for example if you're negotiating salary for a job offer right and you're saying that you're worth this much but then later on you go back and you lower your value and you say you know what I'll accept whatever you give me as long as you give me the job I will take lower then they will know oh okay you're telling me that you're actually worth less than what you said you're worth trust me when I say this this is going to affect all of your
future negotiations at this job all of your raises all of your promotions for the rest of the time you spent at this job because they're going to remember that you took lower than what you said you were willing to take or if you keep going back to your ex for example and you keep giving them access to you and break no contact constantly even though you know it's not going to end up anywhere when you do that you're telling them that you're very easy to access which is not respectable that's not consistent because you guys
broke up already why are you going back you're not living up to your values if you say that you're worth this much add like it make yourself less accessible to people who didn't earn your time because it's never worth it trust me on that remember this is the scarcity principle limit your availability be less accessible this will make people value your time more if they see that they have to work for you and earn your trust and respect they will chase you and do everything to have access to you which will create much stronger relationships
in the long run actually because they will learn to Value more they will learn to respect you more and when it comes to learning to deal with disrespect this automatically will come when you heal from being a people pleaser and having discipline and consistency in who you say you are setting high standards and boundaries and investing time in yourself because a combination of all of these things will make you so solid and so unshakable and then whoever who still can't see that they will need to remove themselves respectfully many people are scared that being direct
and straightforward with people in their lives might damage their relationships and this comes from a place of fearing loss and not knowing how people will react that's a fear right when really nobody ever pauses to think how damaging that actually is to you that you have to keep these relationships with people that expect you to shrink yourself and repress your own thoughts and feelings just so that you can maintain the so-called peace at the expense of your own mental health the sooner you can be yourself again and the people who are looking for someone who
is just like you will be able to find you because you make room for that the hardest pill to swallow for me is that when you give someone so much all of your love all of your loyalty your presence your kindness and they still turn their back on you in the end but here's the thing when someone does that they are revealing themselves to you they're disrespect for you so when they disrespect you let them don't ever run after anyone who disrespect you you don't even have to call it out don't waste your breath on
them don't back them and don't look back on them just keep moving like they never matter to you because you can see now that they're wrong for you not everyone deserves access to your energy and the right people will never make you question your value ever don't ever feel threatened by anybody especially if they're not being respectful truthfully a lot of people who are very disrespectful in general they don't even know how to respect themselves so naturally they're going to project that disrespect onto other people people who are like that they don't know what respect
looks like so they may not even be capable of respecting anyone in general if you truly know and believe what you're worthy of and you built that solid foundation you will understand where that actually comes from because then you realize that this is never personal to you it's always their problem at the end to deal with and their problem is not your problem so you can see already that if you don't respect yourself it will become so much harder to love and respect other people or even the planet that we live on when you're caught
up by the idea that this body of yours belongs to you or that this mind of yours belongs to you you will not compromise your value if you can see what it took to have you here in this moment on Earth from the moment that your mother gave birth to you to all of the things that you've been through today you will start to see how valuable you are and that's how you will begin to treat your body and your mind and your soul with so much respect then other people around you will have no
choice but to respect that and if they don't truly that's their problem you're going to have to move on from that it's like if a dog bites you for example it doesn't know any better you don't bite the dog back and moving on and leaving them is the greatest act of respect to yourself and I hope that you know that this is your life even the bad and even all the good in it it all belongs to you and you are the one who gets to Define it you are the one who gets to make
the choice on how to move forward not other people how other people see you whatever they think is right or wrong or what path they believe you should be on what personality they see you as all of that stuff is absolutely none of your business baby you get to decide that not anyone else never give into that remember you don't owe anyone anything at all that's actually what reminds me to not people please every time and that ctiv Ates a lot of respect you don't owe anyone anything just remember what type of treatment you believe
you actually deserve that's it so yeah guys I hope this was helpful to you you can like this video if you haven't already subscribe to my channel and thank you so much to grow therapy for sponsoring this video and I hope to see you again in the next video [Music]
