what happened to me was beyond terrible it was the kind of nightmare you can't wake up from the kind that twists your stomach and leaves you gasping for a solution you know doesn't exist my name is Travis I'm 17 years old and for as long as I can recall I've been drawn to dressing up as a girl the first time I stepped outside as Tracy my feminine Alter Ego I was 15 that initial foray into the world passed without a hitch which gave me a boost of conf confidence perhaps too much confidence over the next
two years I honed my skills mastering makeup styling my hair and building a modest wardrobe that felt like my own personal treasure last weekend The Familiar pull came over me and I couldn't resist becoming Tracy again I chose my short red dress paired it with sleek black heels and styled my shoulder length hair into a neat page boy every detail was perfect I wanted TR to shine after finishing my makeup and dabbing on a touch of perfume I gave myself one last look in the mirror I was ready normally I would venture far from home
somewhere safe like a show or a mall across town but this time was different I felt bold maybe too bold and decided to visit the mall closest to my neighborhood at 56 with a fairly average build for a guy my Silhouette worked well with some help from padded panty Bree a waist cure and light trusty breast forms together they created a frame that fit a size 10 dress effortlessly my hair had just the right amount of curl to achieve a feminine style and with everything in place Tracy was ready to take on the world or
so I thought as I stroe across the parking lot I felt eyes on me my long legs accentuated by the high handline of the dress garnered a few lingering glances exactly as I'd hoped for nearly an hour I moved through the mall without incident enjoying the thrill of being seen as Tracy but then it happened the moment that unraveled everything they came toward me like a wave six across and two deep the raining click from school almost the whole Groot was there my stomach dropped there was nowhere to hide no side exit I could slip
through unnoticed I took a deep breath stealed myself and tried to weave around them PR I could go unnoticed but luck wasn't on my side holy that's Trevis one of them exclaimed what where another voice chimed in full of disbelief there the girl in the red dress that's Travis I swear before I could react they had me surrounded it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room their eyes bore into me scanning every detail like scientists examining a bizarre specimen then Jim one of the leaders confounded yes it was me Travis in
a dress out in public without a shred of plausible deniability the insults came hard and fast words like gay and weirdo piling on top of each other each one sharper than the last my face burned with shame my mind Racing for an escape but then unexpectedly a voice broke through the cheers shut up all of you said Shirley one of the girls in their group without waiting for permission she grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the crowd Travis listen she said quietly as we walked you look great really but you need to get
out of here now I'll walk you to your car her words were a lifeline and I didn't hesitate silent except for a moment thanks I let her guide me out of the mall as I slipped into the driver's seat the weight of what had just happened began to settle in but for now I was safe I sped out of the parking lot heart pounding my confidence in tatters the drive home felt like a blur of Shame and Dread I knew with certainty that my future was irrevocably ruined once I returned to school I would become
the subject of unending ridicule a joke whispered behind my back a name sneered to my face a spectacle for everyone to mock until graduation finally Set Me Free tears welled in my eyes as I pulled into the driveway but but the sight of Home offered a brief reprieve it was My Sanctuary the one place where I could hide Retreat and attempt to rebuild what was left of my fractured self I slipped inside through the back door my heels clicking Softly on the kitchen tile as I made my way to the front foyer just as I
set foot on the hardwood floor my breath caught in my throat there they were my parents blocking my path dad stood there his expression unred though the slow Shake of his head spoke volumes mom was wide-eyed her mouth slightly open in shock nether said a word I froze hoping against hope that I could Escape unnoticed but when I tried to step past them my dad raised his arm gently but firmly halting me in my tracks this mom said her voice trembling slightly but steady enough to sting is something we need to talk about I can't
see any reason to delay can you the last thing I wanted was to talk I wanted to disappear to lock myself in my room and bury myself under the covers my perfectly constructed feminine appearance hair makeup dress remained intact but inside my ego was crumbling faster than I could hold it together despite my silent plea to be left alone they guided me into the family room and told me to sit I purched on the edge of the couch feeling small and vulnerable as my parents sat across from me their faces etched with a mix of
concern and determination the silence between us was unbearable finally my mom spoke Travis she began her voice softer now but no less firm seeing you dressed like this isn't exactly a surprise we've known about it for a long time since you were quite young actually and I have to say you look lovely except for the mascara running down your cheeks you make a beautiful girl but tell us why did you go out tonight and why are you crying her words hit me like a freight train my sense of security the one fragile thing I had
left was obliterated first my peers at the mall now my parents the humiliation was unbearable my hands shook my chest heaved and my throat tightened as tears streamed down my face I tried to answer but the words caught somewhere deep inside me I I I stammered but the floodgates opened before I could stop them what came next was a torrent of emotion I couldn't control a chaotic mix of love and hate fear and longing joy and despair words tumbled out of me in a disjointed tear soaked confession everything I had bottled up for years Spilled
Out raw and unfiltered leaving nothing hidden by the time I was done my shame lay bare between us like a foul secret neither of us wanted to acknowledge my parents said nothing not at first they sat quietly absorbing everything I had blurted out their expressions unreadable when the silence stretched on too long I took my queue and stood without waiting for a response I went to my room my steps heavy with humiliation and exhaustion inside I stripped off the dress heels and every other piece of my carefully curated feminine identity each item once a symbol
of freedom and self-expression now felt tainted hated I threw them onto the floor in a fit of self-loathing before stepping into the shower to scrub away the makeup yet even as I washed it off I couldn't escape the truth of what I felt I hated the very core of my maless yet I was trapped in it bound to it in a way only a surgeon's scalpel could change by the time I crawled into bed I was trembling again I felt Hollow shattered my social life at school was already over a burning wreck I couldn't Salvage
worse I was convinced my parents hated me too though they hadn't explicitly said so as the night wore on sleep alluded me my mind replayed the events of the evening in a cruel Loop each iteration driving the knife of humiliation deeper dreams of my inevitable downfall haunted me keeping me tossing and turning until the early hours of the morning I lay in bed fully awake but too Paralyzed by fear to move facing my my parents felt like an insurmountable Challenge and I wanted to remain hidden under the covers forever the sound of the door opening
startled me and I turned just enough to see my mother quietly step into the room she crossed over to my bed and sat down beside me her presence both comforting and unnerving rough night huh she asked gently what could I say to that admit that I enjoy being humiliated of course not travest she continued her tone corn but firm dressing up as a girl isn't the end of the world you're not the only man who does it you know last night I told you that you looked very nice and I meant it but if I'm
being honest your dress was too small and your hairstyle didn't suit you would you like me to help you fix that help me do what I replied even though I already knew what she was getting at you know exactly what I mean Travis how would you like to look like a girl your age and size should look the idea terrified me Dad hates me now I muttered I can't I'm just going to quit school her response was Swift first of all you're not quitting school and second your father and I don't hate you no matter
what you might think Mom I she cut me off your dad will be home at 4: and he wants to talk to you he's expecting to see you as you usually are but I think you should show him the young girl we saw last night night Mom no I protested panicked at the very idea oh yes she insisted you need to face his head on or it will consume you if you let me help I know we can create a beautiful young lady we'll both be proud of he needs to see you as you really
are and you need to embrace that girl for your own peace of mind you know I'm right now get out of bed let's have breakfast and then I'll take your measurements we'll go to the Mart and find just the right outfit for you to wear when Dad getss home come on shake a leg her resolve left no room for argument reluctantly I climbed out of bed and followed her to the kitchen after a quick breakfast the process began as much as I wanted to deny my feelings and abandoned dressing as Tracy altogether M gave me
no opportunity to back out when she wrapped the measuring tape around me talking Non-Stop about styles and colors she thought would suit me the desire i' been trying so hard to suppress surged back with full force for the first time someone was helping me embrace this part of myself and deep down I knew I would look better than ever still I tried to maintain a stoic masculine demeanor even as she measured and planned with unyielding enthusiasm at the Mart mom headed straight to the lingery section picking up a waist snipper and a padded panty brief
before briskly moving on to the Dress Shop I froze more mortified at the thought of running into someone from school meanwhile mom was unfazed asking me about colors Styles and preferences as if this were the most normal thing in the world my voice barely worked so I mostly nodded while she selected two dresses two skirts and two blouses in the shoe section she chose a pair of taupe flats and white heels I waited nervously near the entrance while she paid for everything feeling more exposed than ever she handed me the keys and let me drive
us home a small gesture that did little to calm my Fray nerves by the time we pulled into the driveway I was a complete wreck mom had never explained why dad needed to see me fixed up as she put it nor had she clarified her reasons for helping me so enthusiastically I wanted to ask but couldn't must the courage back in my room mom insisted I change into a pair of panties I hesitated but eventually complied feeling a strange mixture of reluctance and inevitability then she led me to her bedroom and began applying makeup using
my own supplies based on your coloring she said matter of factly this Foundation is perfect for you here you apply it and I'll guide you her tone was casual almost like we were simply sharing a hobby but the weight of what was happening loomed large in my mind for the first time I wasn't alone in this and that terrified and thrilled me in equal measure I didn't ask Mom how she knew where I kept my makeup it didn't matter now my hands were unsteady as I dabbed the foundation onto my skin each stroke feeling like
both a betrayal and a release mom stood behind me watching in silence her presence somehow steadying me as much as it unnerved me slowly but surely The Familiar desire to be my most beautiful self crept back in calming the Tremor in my hands by the time I finished just as I reached for my eyes Shadow mom handed me her powder and instructed me to Pat it over the foundation it'll set everything in place and take away the shine she said I followed her advice brushing off the excess until my face was matte and Flawless my
reflection showing no trace of the boy underneath for your eyes she said start for a soft green and layer it with this luminous torp then black eyeliner on the upper lid and green pencil below finish with mascara I followed her instructions carefully the process feeling both mechanical and transformative by the time I was done I barely recognized myself back in my room mom handed me the padded panty brief these will give you a little better Shake she said though I'm not sure it's enough it's a start put them on and then call me the Garment
was snug but I managed to get it on I pulled on a pair of panty hose necks the silky material sliding over over my legs and slipped into the new top Flats when I called Mom back she dampened my hair set a few rollers and directed me as I put on the new bra and slipped in my makeshift breast forms then she helped me into a pale blue dress siipping it up in the back as I stood there I could see the padded hips made a huge difference my shape looked softer more natural like a
girl's mom brushed out my hair adding two small bows at the sides and handed me blush and lipstick to finish the look I changed into the white heels and when I turned to the mirror the transformation was complete the girl staring back at me was more beautiful than I had ever dared to imagine I couldn't help but twirl letting the skirts swish around me the fabric brushing against my legs it felt so natural so right to be this person mom Stood Beside Me watching with an unreadable expression until she finally spoke now that we both
fully understand how much you want to be a girl let's have some coffee it's time for a mother door to talk don't you think the words struck me mother daughter talk they lingered in the air weighty and yet freeing my new heels clicked Softly As I followed her to the kitchen the Hem of the dress brushing my thighs with every step for the first time I felt like I belonged at her side not as her son but as her daughter we poured coffee and and Mom began asking the questions I had always feared but knew
were inevitable do you like boys do you want to become a female why are you so ashamed I answered honestly no I hadn't thought about boys that way yes I wanted to be a female one day and I was ashamed because I was afraid afraid of being judged of being hurt of not fitting in I told her about the guys who saw me at the mall the popular handsome ones who ruled the school they embodied everything I was and their judgment felt unbearable I knew word would spread and the ridicule would follow I explained how
the other kids desperate to be accepted by The In Crowd would pile on making my life a living hell the fear of violence of ending up in the hospital loomed over me like a dark cloud we ate a small lunch and then mom had me try on the rest of the clothes she had bought each outfit brought a new revelation a PL skirt with a white blouse and green sweater the pleat swishing in tissing as I moved a pair of gold earrings that caught the light just right taupe flats that completed the schoal look mom
even helped me apply fake nails trimming and painting them as soft reddish brown when it was all done I stood before the mirror transformed the girl staring back at me was Flawless so real that for a moment I forgot I was still a boy in a skirt yet that realization lingered bitter sweet and unshakable the reflection was the person I wanted to be the real me but I couldn't escape the truth of who I was underneath the sound of Dad's car pulling into the driveway made my heart Lurch my first instinct was to bolt to
hide somewhere anywhere but Mom's Steady Hand on my arm kept me rooted in place every second felt like an eternity as I waited bracing myself for a confrontation that I was certain would shatter what little courage I had left if this was the end I F grimly at least I was dressed the way I wanted no one not even him could take that away from me the front door opened and his footsteps echoed through the hall then he was there standing right in front of me I could feel his eyes on me taking in everything
the soft swell of my chest beneath the sweater the pleats of the skirt brushing against my knees the gentle Sheen of nylon over my now shapely legs all finished off with the penny loafers On My Feet the faint scent of my perfume filled the air between us I stood just as mom had instructed hands folded neatly in front of me ankles and knees together the image of a modest teenage girl I trembled under his gaze but Mom's reassuring hand didn't waver finally dad spoke your mother said youd look nice she was right his voice was
even revealing nothing of what he might be thinking now sit down and tell me again why this is so so important to you and why you want to turn your back on all the advantages men have I hesitated trying to gather my courage slowly I sat smoothing the skirt beneath me as I did when I found my voice I began to explain pouring out my feelings as honestly as I could I told him everything how I'd always wanted to be a girl how this wasn't just a face or a whim but a deep unshakeable part
of me when he mentioned the advantages of being a man I couldn't help but push back you think men have the advantage why mom tells you what to do and you do it even when you don't like it men are the ones who go to war men are the ones who feel they have to drink fight and prove themselves sure they might make more money but women raise the family women have the most control over the household and honestly over the men too think about this a dad coaches his kid from birth to play football
the kid makes it to the pro wins an award and what's the first thing he says on TV hi Mom no dad men don't have the best of it they just think they do but that's not why I want to be a girl I felt this way as long as I can remember I've dressed up so many times thinking I could pull it off apparently I wasn't as good at it as I thought dad listened without interrupting when I finished the room fell silent for a moment before he spoke again well he began if you
you feel this strongly about it and you do make a very convincing goal why did you just keep dressing as one it seems like it's what you really want we'll even make sure you have all the clothes you need his words stunned me but school I muttered fear bubble into the surface again he nodded thoughtfully yes at school too I won't force you into anything but think about it after what happened at the mall this might actually be the perfect time if you show up as a girl than anything they say about how you looked
would have to be true the other kids could look at you and decide for themselves you'd have the chance to be the girl you say you want to be he had a point one that struck deep I had thought the same thing before if I face the ridicule head-on if I embraced who I was fully no one could take that away from me but I'd have to be strong the bars and Whispers would come not just from the students but from teachers too even if they didn't say anything outright some wouldn't lift a finger to
stop the harassment dad and I exchanged a long look I didn't say anything but I could tell the understood my hesitation then in a sudden shift of tone he asked what's for dinner or would you girls like to go out tonight we'll go out mom answered before I could just give us a bit to freshen up as she led me back to my room I realized something remarkable for the first time it didn't feel like a fight it felt like I had a choice voice and for once I wasn't facing it alone dinner with my
parents dressed as Tracy was surreal I felt exposed yet strangely at ease sitting there in the same outfit I had worn when dad first saw me neither of them seemed uncomfortable and yet they hadn't asked me what name I use as we waited for our food I decided to tell them I go by Tracy I said my voice steady but my heart pounding by the time we returned home dad had started calling me Tracy and it felt natural almost as if this version of me had always existed in our family neither of them asked what
I plan to do on Monday the day I'd have to face school again that left me all of Sunday to decide for now I didn't want to think about it I stayed dressed as Tracy until late that night and when morning came I didn't even hesitate I pulled on clean panties a bra My Town skirt and a pink blouse after brushing my hair and stepping into my flats I went to the kitchen mom didn't bat an eye set the table for breakfast honey she said glancing at the clock we've got about 2 hours before church
starts church I froze I completely forgotten as we prepared the meal mom seemed unfaced you can wear the blue dress she suggested her tone casual I have a white jacket that might fit you and with the white heels it'll look just fine fine you can do your own makeup and I'll help with your hair after breakfast I rushed to my room stripped off my clothes and jumped into the shower 10 minutes later I was seated at the small card table I had set up in my room applying makeup with more care than ever before I
slipped into the new padded panty brief waist Nipper and bra then added my bird seed breast forms pulling the Blue Dress over my head I felt its familiar softness settle into place mom walked in as I was fastening the dress she styled my hair using a white headband to keep it off my face and handed me a pair of pearl earrings a matching choker and a small opal ring a light Spritz of perfume and a swipe of lipstick completed the transformation I filled a white purse with my wallet lipstick tissues and other Essentials Ben took
a deep breath the reality hit me like a wave walking into ch like this would seal my fate there would be no turning back I HED mom managing A Smile as I steady myself dad drove us to church in the parking lot he turned to me and asked one final time are you sure I nodded unable to speak he' opened my door and together the three of us walked into the building the first person to recognize me was surely the girl who had saved me at the mall her face lit up in Surprise and amusement
well my hello there she explained extending her hand I didn't think I'd see you again I'm Shirley Tracy I said forcing a smile that quickly became genuine Shirley joined us for the service sitting beside me in the Pew afterward as the congregation filed out she began introducing me to other kids many of whom had no idea who I really was for once the interactions felt friendly almost too friendly the boy saw me as a potential Conquest while the girls stayed close perhaps out of jealousy or curiosity it was ironic almost comical to see how easily
appearances could shift perceptions mom and dad spoke with the minister while Shirley held Court outside keeping me at her side as most of the kids left a small group remained Jennifer her brother Clinton Dwight and his twin Victor Clinton who had a crush on Shirley was happily distracted Jennifer and Dwight who were a couple chatted comfortably leaving Victor and me standing awkwardly off to the side Victor seemed interested in me a notion that filled me with Dread the last thing I needed was another complication when Jennifer invited everyone over for a cookout later that afternoon
I silently pleaded with Shirley to get me out of it instead she smiled and said that sounds like fun my heart sank when Victor turned to me and asked what about you Tracy want to come I hesitated Unsure how to respond Shirley must have noticed my discomfort because she gently took my arm and pulled me aside her touch was reassuring her presence a Lifeline in the swirling chaos of my thoughts I turned to her hoping she had a plan Shirley's words kit me like a ton of bricks she was relentless but she wasn't wrong this
is your chance Tracy she urged her voice low but insistent if you're going to show up at school like this and let's face it you you need allies if Dwight Clinton and Victor accept you today they can help Shield you from some of the backlash you can't do this alone and you know it but I faltered my voice weak I never said I was going to school dressed like this you didn't have to she replied her piercing brown eyes locking onto mine look around you're here in church dressed as Tracy everyone's seen you there's no
going back now the best thing you can do is earn it go to this party and explain it on your terms unless of course you plan to hide in your house for the rest of your life her words slice through my resolve exposing the conflict I've been trying to suppress she was right the fault of returning to school without allies felt like walking into a lion's den but putting myself out there letting others decide how they'd respond to me as Tracy was terrifying in a completely different way I glanced over at the small group of
kids standing nearby their expressions unreadable how would they react I couldn't tell before I could speak my parents joined us surley wasted no time there's a little party at Rose's house this afternoon can Tracy come Mom and Dad both looked at me waiting for some indication of what I wanted dad was the first to speak it's fine with me but it's your call I hesitated the weight of their gaze heavy on me finally I nodded there was no other choice not really Shirley took off to share the news leaving me with mom and dad as
soon as we got home mom seemed to sense what I'd need next you'll need something casual shorts jeans some more tops she said we headed straight back to the Mart where we picked out a jean skirt a pair of shorts and some fitted jeans along with several tops and another padded panty brief on the way back mom surprised me by stopping at the mall you need proper breast forms she said matter of factly leading me into a department store where we bought a set at home I tried on the new clothes the jeans were a
little loose in the seat so I adjusted the phone pads from my old panty Bree rearranging them inside my panties to create a fuller rounder shape I even added a small pad just under the waistband mimicking the slight curve many girls have in front with the jeans snug and fitting right I slipped on a rose-colored top touched up my lipstick and finished the look with my flats the new breast forms were incredible soft and skin colored with just enough weight to pull naturally on the breast straps as I adjusted them in place I couldn't help
but feel more like myself than I ever had before Mom handed me a different purse and an old wallet of hers and I began transferring my things as I organized the contents a strange sense of calm settled over me I had done everything I could to prepare for this moment there was nothing else to change nothing else to tweak this was it about half an hour later I drove to Rose's house my nerves growing with each passing mile when I pulled into the driveway I checked myself one last time in the mirror took a deep
breath and got out my legs felt shaky as I walked to the front door as if I were heading straight into danger Clinton opened the door and greeted me with a warm smile hey Tracy come on in he introduced me to his parents who were polite and friendly before leading me through the house to the backyard the Moment of Truth was coming and I could only hope that Shirley was right that this was the first step toward finding acceptance the tension was suffocating as I stood there surrounded by expectant faces Shirley had wasted wasted no
time putting me on the spot telling everyone I had something important to say and then leaving me alone in the spotlight my mouth felt dry and my legs wobbled as I looked at each person searching their expressions for Clues but I found none I I'm not who you think I am I stammered my voice barely audible the urge to flee was overwhelming but I forced myself to continue you already know me but not as a girl my real real name is Travis GS broke the silence followed by mmers of disbelief Travis no way cunon exclaimed
his face twisting in surprise I thought you looked kind of familiar but Shirley stepped in smoothly her voice calm but firm yes Tracy is Travis but this she gested toward me is who she really is isn't that right Tracy I nodded weakly and sank into a chair the tears I had been holding back spilling over between sobs I recounted everything the mall my parents the embarrassment and the sheer Agony of standing before them like this no one spoke as I finished and the silence pressed down on me like a wait unable to take it I
stood and turned toward the door ready to escape and end the unbearable humiliation but before I could take more than a step Victor grabbed my arm you're Travis he exclaimed his grip firm and almost accusatory but I thought you were cute she is cute you idiot Rose snapped stepping between us you're just mad because you were attracted to her was not Victor shot back defensively but he let go of my arm and stepped away sulking the others remained silent their faces a mix of shock and curiosity it was Victor's reaction though that held the most
animosity and it unsettled meep deeply she's got a cute butt Dwight muttered grinning in a half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood oh shut up tght Rose said sharply before turning her attention back to me she walked over her expression softening you not going anywhere until we hear everything then we're going to eat so sit down and let it all out girl reluctantly I sat back down as Clinton handed me a soda slowly I began again starting from my earliest memory memories and working my way to the present moment I told them about my decision to
go to school the next day as Tracy and the sheer Terror I felt even as I spoke every word felt like another layer of vulnerability being peeled away exposing me completely they'll tear you apart Dwight said bluntly when I finished especially the jocks and those AirHeads who follow them around the rest they might leave you alone but don't count on it that's exactly why I asked her to come to death day Rose interjected shirely told me everything and we knew she'd need people she could rely on you guys can deflect some of the garbage that's
going to come her way and we girls can help her in other ways Rose turned to me her gaze unweaving I know you didn't think Shirley would tell me but we're close and you need us Tracy this was the best way to make sure you got the support you'll need Victor still glaring at me looked Sullen and distant while the others seemed more accepting if hesitant Rose and Shirley eventually pulled me into the kitchen to help with preparations we made the salad prepped the burgers and grabbed sodas from the fridge by the time we returned
to the patio the guys were deep in conversation Rose nudged me to focus on setting out the food ignoring their chatter as Dwight and Clinton started grilling Rose and Shirley joined them leaving me standing alone with Victor his eyes hadn't left me all afternoon and I couldn't take it anymore Gathering my courage I walked over to him you have no idea how hard it was for me to come here today I said my voice steady but filled with emotion I didn't expect much honestly I expected reactions like yours but the way you keep staring at
me I don't get it if you have something to say just say it his eyes locked onto mine unreadable but intense no he said coldly you've said enough already I refused to back down you're upset because you were attracted to me until you found out I'm not a girl that's what this is about isn't it you're afraid someone will notice and start mocking you that's not it he snapped his face flushing I just don't like guys that's all really I challenged stepping closer but I think Rose was right you were drawn to me and now
you're scared of what that means that's why you're so angry he didn't respond his expression hardened as he turned away I stood there for a moment wondering if I had pushed too far but the truth was out now whether he wanted to admit it or not Victor was grappling with his own feelings just as I was trying to navigate mine there was no point in trying to talk to Victor anymore so I let it go grabbing a soda I sat back at the table and focused on enjoying the sunny day with everyone else Clinton surfed
the burgers and we all shared stories and laughs of avoiding any mention of me or the obvious elephant in the room it was a relief a break from the intensity of the past few days both Rose and Shirley brought up new Styles they liked but I steered clear of those conversations though I had opinions of my own I wasn't ready to dive into anything that would draw more attention to me as the evening worm down we cleaned up and by 7 I was heading home everyone except Victor gave me a hug before I left the
warmth from the the others made up for his coldness at least a little that night I soaked in the tub shaving every inch of my skin until it was smooth I followed up with a rich lotion that made my skin soft and almost glowing then I carefully laid out my clothes for the next day Mong popped her head in before bed to let me know she'd plann to come with me in the morning hoping to make things easier easy not a chance if Victor's reaction was any indication I'd be a Target and easy wasn't in
the cards the morning came too quickly I woke early determined to make myself as Flawless as possible after a close shave I did my makeup with Precision the Pham pads gave me a curvier more feminine shape and the new breast forms felt natural adding just the right touch I chose the pleated skirt with a white blouse and flats applying a soft red lipstick and a spritz of perfume to complete the look m helped me with my hair again even though I didn't need much assistance her presence was grounding I drove myself to school with Mom
following behind me sitting in the car and the parking lot I hesitated my heart pounding in my chest this was it there would be no turning back after a deep breath I stepped out mom by my side the first person I encountered was Eric the guy who had tormented me at the mall his jaw dropped as he saw me walking by with my mom but I kept my my head high and kept going in the office the principal surprised me with his C response he admitted that a similar situation had happened about four years ago
and he seemed supportive he issued me a new school ID under the name Tracy gave me notes to hand to my teachers and sent me on my way for the first few hours life went on surprisingly smoothly most of the students assumed I was a new kid and I flew under the radar that changed on the way to math class when Eric cornered me his face was twisted in a sneer as he pinned me against the wall firing off a barriage of degrading foul questions he was bigger than me stronger and there was no escaping
him I stood there Frozen until Rose my lifeline bolted down the hall moments later she returned with three guys including Victor they yanked Eric away so hard he stumbled to the floor but he was up in an instant Fists clenched and ready to swing before he could act Victor stepped in standing nose to noose with him you're pretty good at pushing little girls around Eric Victor said his voice low and dangerous how about trying me you want to take a shot Eric hesitated his bravado faltering but he sneered in defiance that's no girl he spat
that's Travis in a dress I always knew he was a well Victor replied his tone sharp I know her and as far as I'm concerned she's a girl so what's it going to be Eric you want to take me on or are you all talk by then a crowd had gathered murmuring as Eric glared at Victor and me finally with one last sneer he backed off pointing at both of us before walking away the rest of the day passed uneventfully though I was shaken at lunch I sat with Shirley and Clinton recounting what had happened
they reassured me insisting they'd Stand By Me their support gave me a small measure of comfort but the fear still lingered the next morning my locker became Ground Zero for Eric's retaliation a dildo was glued to the front right at mouth level and the word was scrolled all over it my heart sank as I stood there humiliation fluing through me a crowd quickly gathered whispering and snickering While most of the student were either indifferent or kind Eric's crowd made their presence known the janitor eventually removed the dildo and scrubbed the graffiti away but the damage
was done the story spread through the school like wildfire still I held my head high determined to face whatever came next it wasn't easy and I knew it wouldn't get easier but for the first time I wasn't alone people like Shirley Rose and even Victor despite his CompTIA feelings they gave me hope that I could make it through and that hope was enough to keep me going when I walked out of school that afternoon I wasn't prepared for what was about to happen one of Eric's girlfriends approached me her voice soft and apologetic as she
expressed regret for his behavior for a fleeting moment I believed her just as my guard dropped a fist struck the side of my head sending me sprawling to the ground before I could recover a sharp searing pain exploded in my groin as someone kicked me with full force Agony rippled through my body and as I lay there gasping for air I heard Eric's mocking laughter his voice dripped with contempt as he called me a and Jed at my prone form bleeding from my ears I could do nothing but lie there as Eric and his friends
walked away their cruel laughter echoing in the distance a teacher found me minutes later and quickly called the police and EMTs as much as I had wanted to leave certain parts of me behind the vicious kick to my groin caused extensive damage even though I had tupped everything away carefully the toe of his boot had crushed my testicles Beyond repair at the hospital the staff undressed me uncovering my secret despite the situation they were kind and professional the doctor explained the extent of the damage to me and my parents any chance of fathering children was
gone he said it wasn't something I had wanted but hearing it spoken aloud was still a strange and sobering moment they repaired a laceration on my ear stitched the wounds on my scalp and decided to keep me overnight for observation as I lay in the hospital bed that night pain and humiliation gave weight of anger I was angry at myself for being so vulnerable angry at the people who allowed this kind of hate to thrive and Furious at Eric for his ignorant fear-driven violence the more I thought about it the more determined I became Eric
and his ilk were not going to win I would go back to school as Tracy the resolve hardened with each passing hour the next morning Dad arrived to take me home bringing a skirt and blouse for me to wear his outrage simmered beneath the surface as he explained that the police couldn't arrest Eric without more evidence he didn't say I told you so though I knew he must have been thinking it at home I spent the day soaking in the bath trying to ease the pain both physical and emotional before falling into a fitful sleep
despite my mother's objections the following morning I dressed for school again makeup concealed the bruises forming on my face and I styled my hair carefully determined to hold my head high limping slightly with bandages still visible on my scalp I walked into the school when I reached my locker another cruel prank awaited me an old jockstrap glued to the door door with a rubber vagina inside it my stomach churned but I ried it off and moved on to my first class Victor was the first to see me that morning and the moment he did his
expression changed guilt was written all over his face as he approached me I should have been there he said almost in tears I heard rumors something might happen but I didn't do anything I'm so sorry Tracy before I could respond Eric appeared in the hallway our eyes locked and he stormed toward me his face Twisted with Fury didn't get enough the first time I'll fix that he growled drawing back his fist before his punch could land someone grabbed his arm yanked him around and landed a solid blow to his face the sickening sound of bone
breaking filled the hallway as Eric crumbled to the ground clutching his bleeding nose Clinton stood over him his chest heaving his expression a mix of rage and SA satisfaction you're done Eric cinton spat his voice cold and steady Eric struggled to get up but he collapsed again groaning cunon didn't wait for a response he took my arm gently and led me away leaving Eric behind I was overwhelmed a storm of emotions churning inside me gratitude anger relief and sadness all at once after that day I was mostly left alone the overt harassment stopped though The
Whispers and occasional bars lingered Victor's attitude changed completely he apologized again and eventually he asked me to join him at church one Sunday I was nervous but agreed it was my first real date it was also my last date for a long time as the days turned into weeks and summer approached life began to settle I was no longer Travis in a dress to most of the school I was simply Tracy the girls treated me as one of their own own though I was never quite included in their plans and the boys stopped acknowledging me
as competition it wasn't perfect but it was a far cry from the torent I had feared though acceptance came slowly and in small doses it was enough I had stood my ground and despite everything I was still standing still Tracy the summer brought with it a kind of peace I had never known Rose and Shirley became my lifelines teaching me the nuances of being a girl not just the surface things like makeup or fashion but the subtle social dynamics that defined femininity the hardest lesson was letting go of the idea that I was a boy
in a dress Rose and Shirley would joke boys are tools learn to use them but the advice felt foreign I couldn't imagine myself Charming or manipulating anyone that was until Wayne came into the picture I'd known Wayne for years he was one of those guys who always seemed kind but distant never causing trouble or drawing attention to himself since I became Tracy we hadn't spoken but one day seemingly out of nowhere he approached me in the hallway hey Tracy he said his voice easy and warm want to go to the movies with me this weekend
I froze stunned my heart raced and for a moment I wondered if it was some cruel joke but the look in his eyes was genuine so I managed as shaky sure by the time Saturday rolled around I was a nervous wreck I agonized over what to wear finally settling on a soft floral sundress that made me feel delicate and confident when Wayne picked me up he greeted me with a shy smile and a bouquet of daisies the gesture melted my nerves and for the first time in a long while I felt Beautiful the date was
magical we laughed through the movie shared popcorn and by the end of the night as he walked me to my door Wayne kissed me it was soft and hesitant but it left me breathless that single moment was transformative it was the first time I truly believed I was more than just passing I was Tracy in every sense that kiss with Wayne sparked something new suddenly I wasn't just the girl who had overcome hardship I was part of the social fabric of my school invitations to parties started rolling in many with rose and Shirley there to
guide me Wayne and I went on a few more dates but but things between us eventually faded into a comfortable friendship Victor on the other hand remained a constant presence in my life his nightly visits to the dino where I worked became routine he'd show up just before closing claiming to need a coffee but his lingering gaze told a different story he was still grappling with his feelings caught between wanting to be with me and fearing what others might think by the end of summer something strange started happening to my body small breaths began to
form a reality that thrilled and terrified me in equal measure the doctor attributed it to hormonal changes brought on by the trauma and stress I have endured combined with a genetic predisposition whatever the reason the changes felt like Nature's Way of affirming what I had always known I was meant to be Tracy as school started again I faced The Familiar hallways with Newfound confidence I wasn't just surviving anymore I was thriving The Whispers of Trevis faded completely replaced by Tracy and with each passing day I felt more like myself one evening as I closed up
the diner Victor walked in as usual but this time he didn't order coffee he sat at the counter fidgeting with a sugar packet before finally looking up at me Tracy he started his voice uncertain would you like to go out with me sometime like a real date my heart skipped a beat I smiled setting down the towel I was holding i' like that Victor the relief on his face was palpable he walked me to my car that night his hand brushing against mine as we talked about everything and nothing the following weeks passed in a
blur of dates stolen kisses and Quiet Moments where the world seemed to fade away Victor and I grew closer and for the first time I allow myself to imagine a future where I could truly be happy but life has a way of throwing curve balls one evening as Victor and I sat by the lake watching the sunset he turned to me his expression serious I have to tell you something he said I've enlisted in the Army I leave in two months the words hit me like a punch my chest tightened but I managed to nod
why I need to figure out who I am he said his voice breaking and I need to do it without worrying about what anyone thinks but Tracy you've already show me who I can be I'm not running from you I just need to find My Own Strength tears streamed down my face as I leaned into his shoulder I'll wait I whispered as the seasons changed I grew stronger sure of myself Victor wrote letters from basic training each one reminding me of the boy who had stood up for me when I needed it most and though
life moved on I held on to the hope that one day he'd come back the story didn't end with a dramatic reunion or a sweeping Declaration of Love instead it became a tale of growth of finding strength in the face of adversity and of learning to love myself as much as I had learned to love others in the end Tracy wasn't just the girl I decain she was the person I had always been waiting to emerge and though the future remained uncertain I knew one thing for sure I was ready for whatever came next
