Hi I'm Dion from Eflowtion Support Services and welcome to this EFT Tapping on Surviving Narcissistic Abuse. As someone that has grown up in childhood trauma and developed CPTSD as a result of narcissistic abuse I'll be speaking from personal experience but please speak with the appropriate professional medical professional to help release any stored trauma from encountering a person who fits the diagnostic criteria of narcissism that said I'd like to do an EFT Tapping on this so taking full responsibility for your own while being let's go with that flow and let's begin to Tap Even though I
may have lost my idenity in life and my identity may have been that of serving someone else's needs that couldn't take care of their own I still love, forgive and accept myself Even though I've had to shoulder a lot of burden I've had to shoulder a lot of blame, shame and guilt that this other person couldn't shoulder and I've been told to carry their load in life I still love, forgive and accept myself. Even though I might be on the road to recovery or I might be questioning my lot in life and starting to find
my identity but there is a lot of pain there is a lot of hurt and there is a lot of confusion on this road ahead I still love, forgive and accept myself. This surviving narcissistic abuse this person in my life this person has pushed me down who's told me I'm all these terrible things who can be greatly loving at times and greatly hurtful most of the time and sometimes in my life I try to question their sanity and I try to question my sanity and I try to make sense of nonsense and who I am
and who I'm told to be because it seems every time I try to be me that loving kind person that great person that the world sees I start to see that other side and I start to be pushed down I start to be blamed I get guilt-tripped I get terrible things said against me terrible jealousy and a lot of anger all because I just tried to be me and that identity may have resonated well with others and other people might have tried to see me in a good light and this narcissistic abuser saw that as
a poor reflection of themselves so they start to pull me down start to question my sanity I start to see that other side that really angry side that really jealous side that really shameful side and even though this wasn't me it definitely gets projected upon me as if by projecting upon me it makes it easier for the narcissist to deal with because then they've got someone to personify all their blame, shame and guilt and that's a burden I have to carry in life at least in their eyes and there might be times in my life
where I try to stand up for myself when I say hey this isn't right the actions that you did you need to be accountable for so you can change those behaviors and in their ears all they hear is blame all the things they've done wrong and all the shame that is upon them and all you're trying to do is maturely solve a problem and in response you get an immature reaction and they might say things like don't you use that tone with me stop yelling at me and the tone of your voice could be my
exact tone right now or there might be no tone at all that you can tune into to broadcast some sense because the tone that they're hearing isn't the tone at all it's the content of what's being said which may be a reflection from their own childhood by own mean words that were said to them and you become that projection you become that personification of a trapped past trauma so they're not even hearing you what they're hearing is an old memory of blame, shame and guilt and there seems to be nothing that I can do no
tone that I can make that rings through with clarity they might start to reflect a lot of this amongst other people because misery likes company so the misery that's within them gets projected upon myself and then broadcasted to others kind of like a paparazzi that rushes up on a celebrity they might be just out for coffee and in their furore they upset the celebrity the celebrity reacts with a bit of frustration and tries to put up a boundary but all you hear is broadcasted it's how much of an angry person that person is a celebrity
lost his cool what sensualization will the headlines make today so there might be other people surrounding this narcissist that you also tried to talk some sense into but they're caught up in the headlines about the projections that this narcissist has put upon you and it's not fair and the more you try to convince that harm was done to you strangely the more you look like the crazy person as if you've got something to prove that these antagonistic behaviours of the narcissist is justified because misery likes company which may mean losing friendships from people that are
only interested in one side of the story this antagonistic behaviour does cause anger and I might have a right to be angry and I might have a right to put up my boundaries and I might have a right to let things go that want to drag me down that want to twist my identity and use parts of my identity for their own gain I'm not here to be the content for their own twisted creations so it might mean trying not to convince the narcissist of their own bad behavior fighting fire with fire will only get
you burnt and it might mean putting some space no longer contacting no longer being that source of energy for that narcissist and the stories that they tell about me the justification for their actions we'll continue on and there's nothing I can do about that because it's easier to put the blame on others and to take accountability for one's actions but I can take accountability from my own actions I can start to heal myself I can start to let go of the pain I can start to find my identity and that's going to be a hard
journey to find especially when your world gets constantly turned upside down that's in the past now and I might have doubts about whether I'm the narcissist and this is natural to have because this belief system that's been instilled within me was there for a purpose and that was to serve the narcissist but if I'm trying to heal myself taking accountability for my actions if I'm trying to have a nice peaceful life free from the daily turmoils then the narcissist doesn't tend to heal itself it's everyone else's problem it's everyone else's projection that they see upon
them but I'm taking the reins now I'm healing myself I'm finding my sense of purpose I'm living my life for me now I'm letting go of past traumas I no longer have to serve a narcissist I'm going to find people that are interested in me and not jealous of me that want to lift me up and not push me down and this is going to be a hard journey to make based upon what I was programming with but that light within me that lightness that I have when I'm around people and when people value my
true self it does make me feel lighter within myself and not weighed down by someone else's blame, shame and guilt so I'm proud of myself for being on the road to recovery of surviving narcissistic abuse taking a full breath in and out so yes there's uh a lot of emotions that come up with surviving something and one of those is anger one of those is grief which is combined with anger and it is a grief it's a losing of identity and finding a new identity but what is a negative can be also viewed as a
positive because it's letting go of something that wasn't you and um finding a new you so it's kind of like um being born into something a new life in a way and letting go of something that no longer served you so I'm Dion from Eflowtion Support Services and thank you for taking part in the EFT Tapping bye for now
