this is one of the most important Concepts you can achieve it's lifechanging if you've ever thought to yourself that you're lacking communication skills pick up this book if you're looking to develop into a leadership role of any sort this book is essential it was written by Dale Carnegie in 1936 and who knew that something applicable in 1936 would be so applicable in today's age the book's broken down into four parts I'm going to take one concept from each part which is just a very small fraction of the book and talk about that part one is
fundamental techniques in handling people Carnegie opens up the concept saying that he frequently fished and man during the summer he says that he's personally fond of berries and cream but for some strange reason the fish like worms and he went into detail saying that he doesn't B bait his hook with strawberry and cream he baits it with worms cuz fish like worms he doesn't think about what he wants he thinks about what the fish want and really in summation he baits the hook to suit the fish if you were to be a personal trainer you're
not going to look for clients and say Hey I want to build a customer base as your sales pitch you're going to say hey I want to help you lose weight and I'm going to do that in a personalized manner I'm going to struggle with you I'm going to sweat with you I'm going to be there for you I'm going to fight with you and we are going to lose weight together the key to this concept is really putting yourself in another person's perspective seeing through their eyes seeing what they want and learning how to
align what they want with what it is that you want sure this is going to take some creativity in aligning what you want with the receiving party wants and desires but always remember you have to construct it through their needs you have to make it an eager want for them or else it's not going to be effective because the point is is they just don't care what you want and that's the principle of arousing in the other person and eager want part two are six ways to make people like you when's the last time you
asked your dentist how they started school or why they decided to be a dentist when's the last time you asked your doctor how was their upbringing what was their family like life like do you even know a millionaire you know there are millionaires around you all over the place right millions of people walk around every day thinking their life is the only movie that exists they're the star and everyone else is a co-star they're a support role they don't realize that every single other person has their own movie which they're the star too how often
have you found yourself asking someone how their weekend was but you really just don't care becoming genuinely interested in someone's life isn't just about asking how their weak and was and not caring and listening to the mundane stuff they did if you become genuinely interested in their lives this will lead you through conversations like you've never had I mean imagine listening to a millionaire talk about how they made their first $500,000 where their first failure where they lost $20,000 was they are going to love talking about themselves because everyone is playing their own movie even
the most mundane occupations like an accountant can have the most interesting life and you have no idea because you've never asked them you've never been genuinely interested in their lives you could come to the realization that someone saved someone's life before or someone broke a window to get us dog out of a hot car before who knows who knows what you can discover I mean the the limits are endless you'll find that after you treat everyone as if you want a genuine only know about their entire story you're going to have very Dee rooted connections
and friendships that last a lifetime with them and that's the concept I want you to take from that part is become genuinely interested in other people part three talks about how to win people to your way of thinking imagine you're a cashier at a grocery store and you're in the manager's office at the end of the shift your drawer is short some money and you know that you've made a mistake in handing out change throughout the day you were short $20 it's the first time you've done this before but your manager is kind of angry
now your manager is going to start going into how irresponsible you were and how I mean you can just hand away money and that it's three times as much as you make an hour the manager is probably going to go into forms of punishment that you could possibly face and that how you probably won't get hours next week because you were so careless and Reckless and you'll sit there and take it all because you don't know how to react well the next time you find yourself in a situation where you've made a mistake I want
you to admit that you're wrong and do it emphatically Carnegie goes into detail let's say the cashier situation if the cashier was in the manager's office and before it was even mentioned the cashier start saying I made a terrible mistake I feel so terrible ly I mean how could I be so reckless and careless with your money I can't believe I just handed out $20 I mean you should make me pay four times the amount back because I was so careless with your money if you want me to resign if you want me to go
home right now I will I mean I just feel so terribly about it the manager is likely going to start going to bat for you saying it's not that big of a mistake I mean it's only $20 there's no reason to lose a job over it or go home I mean I don't want to lose a valuable employee and it's not like you've done it in the past it's not a regular habit so see if you make a mistake if you own the mistake and then try to create ways where you can punish yourself it'll
get the other person to the point where they feel that they have to defend you so the next time you find yourself in a situation where you are wrong instead of trying to defend yourself like you naturally are inclined to do admit it quickly and emphatically part four is how to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment imagine you're a smoker and your brother your sister your best friend said that they wanted to start smoking instead of just diving into criticism and telling them not to do it and the reasons why they shouldn't do
it really what you should be doing is telling them about the mistakes you've made and how you wish you hadn't started because it's so hard to stop it's addicting and you wish you could and that you have an annoying cough when you lead in this way you dive into the realm of empathy and you really strike a cord with the other person in a way you couldn't if you didn't start that way and that's the last principle I wanted to talk about about which is always talk about your own mistakes first and these are just
a few of my favorite Concepts in the book if you're on the fence of whether or not you should read this book it's an absolute must it'll raise your social IQ far higher than anyone you know that hasn't read it and don't forget to subscribe if you want to see more achieved Concepts like this and if you like this book you'll absolutely love the four 48 Laws of Power thanks for watching
