In the name of the Father, son, and Holy Spirit, what is your confession? I'm fat. [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey, yo!
What's up, bitches? I did it. I'm 200 pounds.
I'm as big as my avatar. What's an avatar? You know, the avatar that we're going to get to do all of our work for us so I can go sailing, and-- and Dee can tell her stupid jokes, and Dennis can pour more acid on his face.
Dude, that was, like, a million plans ago. All of us, including you, we've been engaged in many other plans and schemes since then. What-- where have you been?
You guys dropped the tipping point? Yeah. I thought we were just putting it on the back burner until I hit two hundo.
Why do you think we've been calling you fat this entire time? Look at me. I went from a tiny twink to the musclebound freak you see before you.
You're not helping my argument. OK, yeah. And if you're going to chime in, please don't do it with a mouth full of burrito.
This is a chimichanga. You are becoming a chimichanga! What?
No, those can't be my-- my results. I'm healthy as shit. Well, uh, not according to your tests.
[LAUGHS] I'm healthier than you, bro? No. No, I wouldn't exactly say you're healthy.
You have type 2 adult onset diabetes. Type 2 adult onset diabetes? Shh.
What does that mean for me? Well, that means you're going to have to inject yourself several times a day with insulin. Or else you probably need to think about losing a little weight.
Whoa. But I'm healthy besides the diabetes? Um, no.
Chimichanga, chimichanga. - Chimichangas are delicious. - I told you, dude.
It's so good. Oh! I told you.
Why would you not want to eat one of these every single day of your life? Oh, my god. I mean, they're delicious.
They're full of carbs, which is great for a pump. And they're cheap as shit. Oh, well, the garbage bag's filled with them.
Exactly, no restrictions, dude. - No restrictions! - No restrictions!
Oh, I love this no restrictions thing, man. [WHEEZING] Wheezing. Dude, you're wheezing now.
You slow down. Breathe and eat, separately. This is what America is about, OK?
Being able to eat at any rate you want to eat. Shut up. Stop making all these things about America.
You're fat, not because of America. Can we just change the conversation? [MUSIC PLAYING] Love him!
It takes a classy man to admit when he was wrong, and I was wrong. I love the Jersey Shore. Oh, you love it?
Oh, you love it so much? Here, get in the goddamn car, you fat, fat ass, fat, fat ass! No, you're not getting the chips!
The chips are off the table, OK? - I want a chip! - Don't bring up the chips.
- Give me a chip! - He wants chips. And I asked him in the store, Dennis.
You were there. I said, Chuck, you want a bag of chips? He said, no, I don't want chips.
You're not getting any. If you wanted a goddamn chip, you should have gotten a goddamn chip at the hamburger shop! Stop chewing on food and start thinking about what's going on in the bar and in your life.
Yeah. Don't make fun of me, OK? I'm busting my ass out there trying to do the avatar plan!
And-- and now you guys are laughing at me? Well, you have candy coming out of your pockets! [LAUGHTER] I was hungry.
I was hungry. Don't laugh at me! Don't laugh at me!
I'm-- uh! Ah! He can't get it!
[LAUGHTER] Is he trying to rip his shirt off? What are you doing? You guys are going to hell, OK?
You guys are going to hell! Don't laugh at me! Don't laugh at me!
[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh! Ah! [GURGLING AND MOANING] Five, six, seven, eight.
Oy!
