When Your Favorite Celebrity Turns Out to Be Terrible

no [ __ ] you what kind of therapist says you look like you've gained weight one with eyes why do you keep saying [ __ ] like that because it's true no it's mean yeah but it's also true go [ __ ] yourself trust me I've tried wow are you married Dr bla nope do you want to know why I think you're not married Dr bla nope it's because you're such a narcissist what was the point of asking and ever since they made that little documentary about you it's gotten way worse you're never going to

find someone who wants to marry you because every day your head gets a little bigger and you're never going to find someone who wants to marry you because every day you wake up your stomach gets a little bigger [ __ ] [Music] you I ain't trying to watch your little cartoon [ __ ] bro bro that ain't no cartoon dog that's anime bro that's a [ __ ] cartoon and the only cartoons I'm [ __ ] with is uh damn family dude and damn sponge boy then what your dumb ass want to watch then cable

TV I ain't going to hold you but I bet it's better than that anime [ __ ] [ __ ] turn it around then my name is Ron Johnson Jr and I'm the chief of the schizophrenic stalkers what the [ __ ] our job is simple stalk the schizophrenic calm down Uncle dog no there are government agents hiding in my walls right this second this guy's good bro you think this better than my anime bro why you always beefing me for no reason that's one channel dive into the life of therapist Dr Victor blad do

you actually think I give a in his all new documentary brutally honest wa yeah your documentary hard as hell Dr blame we was thinking you could help us squash our beef you guys want me to help you squash your beef hell yeah all right well how long have you guys been dating dating bro actually thinks we gay still think we gay yes bro we are not gay bro then why did you guys sign up for couples therapy cuz we are a couple huh a couple of straight dudes oh that [ __ ] hard okay well

what brings you two straight dudes to coup's therapy what you just be beefing all day long bro do you guys work together or something nah but we be putting in work though so you're both unemployed yeah well it sounds like you both have too much time on your hands so what should we do oh I don't know maybe get a [ __ ] job like everyone else your age I don't really [ __ ] with jobs bro you don't [ __ ] with jobs not really my thing bro well it's never too late to go

back to school I mean I ain't allowed around schools no more ever since the incident or playgrounds cuz R don't play all right well y'all got to do something with your life wait I got an idea you thinking what I'm thinking we should start a podcast please please do not start a [ __ ] podcast why not bro hey when we smoke we be having some deep ass thoughts for real yeah you don't think people will listen you guys are paying me 200 an hour to listen to you speak clearly no one is doing that

[ __ ] for free Dr Blaine your meeting starts in 45 minutes your hour's up boys what is up YouTube I'm Ray sh and I'm Earl cter our [ __ ] ass therapist told us ain't nobody going to watch this [ __ ] so hit that subscribe button to prove him wrong Welcome to our podcast show when I say age is just a number I'm not just talking about high school shorties the MS can get it too show we all live on a floating Rock in the middle of space so it's like it ain't no

reason to be stressing about the little things yeah I stole my grandma's debit card but that ain't going to matter when the sun explode shower th Sydney Sweeny that's all bro how is that a shower thought cuz I think about it when I'm in the shower oh [ __ ] shower th welcome to the future of therapy get some help get some help is your One-Stop shop for virtual therapy virtual therapy yeah think FaceTime normal therapy raw dog no rubber boom get some help virtual therapy oh I forgotten to introduce myself I'm Cory Campbell founder

of get some help and to be brutally honest with you I'm a huge fan look I've even got a picture of use my wallpaper that's gay oh yeah totally gay dude I just meant that ironically like as an ironic joke anyways ever since your documentary came out you've been going viral your clients May hate you but Twitter loves you so here's our plan we want to onboard you as our celebrity therapist so you can take virtual sessions on get some help we project if we jump on this now we can make a fuckload of money

and help people and stuff what's in it for me you'll be able to help so many more clients from all around the globe and $6 million I'm in all righty let's do this on one condition I refuse to tell even a sliver of a lie to my clients oh of course man people want the truth that's why we're on boarding you shake on it shake on it brother it's 2024 DB me up yeah okay all right let's do this [ __ ] I just don't understand every time I start getting close with a girl she

just leaves me I'm going to guess the micro penis has something to do with that bro what I don't have a micro penis bu if you're going to lie at least remember to turn your camera off oh [ __ ] I'm a huge fan of your documentary Dr Blaine thank you so um why'd you book a session with me today what's the issue I don't know what my issue is Doctor I just came here to show you these all right so that's called daddy issues so my best friend caught me fooling around with his 16-year-old

niece and then and then he tells me I need to do the world a favor and jump off a tall building I just need to know what I should do take his advice my biggest fear is a guy I love just using me for my body yeah you've got nothing to be afraid of Blaine my favorite therapist you know I always tell everyone around the office I wish I was [ __ ] up in the head so I could have therapy with you that's gay I was joking I was joking I don't actually say that

I'm just pulling your leg so turns out investors are not too happy about your method so we're going to just have to rest strategize a bit I am not lying to Clint what no I'm not asking you to lie I'm just asking you to Pivot pivot yeah just pivot you don't have to change your methods that much just fix the reviews or we're going to cancel the $6 million deal you're a smart guy you'll figure it out Sabrina I thought you hated me why why' you book a session because I want to be the bigger

person here if you stay on that McDonald's diet you'll be the bigger person real soon Dr blae I'm willing to let go of your fat phobia and give you a second chance if you apologize wait wait wait hold on I I swear you people make up new words every day what the [ __ ] is fat phobia uh fat phobia is when you told me no guy will ever marry me if I keep gaining weight fat phobia is telling the truth [ __ ] you Blain okay what do you want me to do sugarcoat it

oh Sabrina you have so much more love every time I see you you should probably get a bigger pants size to hold all that new love you know I think sugar coating the truth would be much better than you being such an [ __ ] maybe you should try it sometime if I tried sugar coating the truth you'd probably try to [ __ ] eat it that's kind of the problem here so um you didn't pivot nope listen Blaine I'm rooting for you I just need you to work with me here I've been telling the

investors you don't want to fire this guy Dr Blaine is a legend a Pioneer my hero that's gay I am not gay and I wish you and my dad would stop saying that it was one time once and I was really drunk so here's the deal blame either you're going to start being nicer to clients or I'm going to take away your $ million [ __ ] dollar deal you can stretch the truth a little for a couple years and then retire to Miami get a yacht the whole package or you can go back to

your own practice with clients who hate you for the rest of your [ __ ] life so what's it going to be so you guys started the podcast anyways hell yeah and that [ __ ] went viral yeah it's called shower thoughts and that [ __ ] is the next big thing bro millions of views Mama we made it Mama we made it Mama we made it guys this [ __ ] has four views huh what the [ __ ] are you talking about y [ __ ] got to be ging no this this is

serious [ __ ] right here I'm diagnosing you both with schizophrenia bro we do not got schizophrenia bro yes you definitely do bro how the hell would you even know because the schizophrenic stalkers are watching you guys like right now [ __ ] we've been spotted [Music]