UNDERSTANDING THE SELF: A PRIMER ON THE SEXUAL SELF

hello everyone welcome to ss031 again this is ss031 understanding the self and today i will giving you a pro i'll be giving a primer on our discussion on the sexual self enter if you there if you have viewed our lectures on youtube you will find out that the sexual self is actually the longest among our lectures there that's why i decided to give you an introductory um lecture on the sexual self this is a primer and later on i'll be giving you your heads up or pointers for your midterm exam which will be taking place

next week friday to sunday again welcome to ss031 this is understanding the self and our discussion is on the sexual self and again this is sir e your online class instructor your facilitator for this course thank you very much for joining me today in our discussion of the sexual self let's face it the the discussion on human sexuality on the sexual self has long been a taboo in the philippine context and i am very much happy and it's a very uh welcome idea that in our course of ss-31 of understanding the self the commission in

higher education included the sexual self in our uh discussion of understanding the self and thank you for joining me today and some of you might feel awkward in our discussion of uh human sexuality but i think it is high time for us to understand and know for a fact that human sexuality and this discussion is very much uh important in our understanding of who we are because again we were not only created as biological beings as social beings and whatnot but we were also created as sexual beings again this is essence zero three one understanding

the self and our discussion is on the sexual self enter if you there and our learning outcomes for these lectures are the following number one we will explain one's understanding of human sexuality also we will try to integrate one sexuality in understanding oneself and identity we will also identify influences that affect the development of one's sexuality and lastly we will try to assess our own perspective on human sexuality now as i said a while ago when we talk about human sexuality it's very much a taboo particularly in our context to talk about sex and whatnot

that's why in our attempt to understand human sexuality we will discuss this concept from an academic and scientific perspective relevant to our understanding of who we are so we may know better how to take care and protect ourselves and even those we love there are two reasons why we are studying human sexuality or the sexual self the first one is for us to be able to take care of ourselves and second and it is very much important is to protect ourselves and be even those we love and we are now proceeding to our definition of

what sexuality is all about when we talk about sexuality it is commonly defined it is commonly defined as the ways people experience and express themselves as sexual beings now when we talk about sexuality we have to zero in on two ideas in this definition the first one is that when we talk about sexuality it speaks of experiences the ways people experience themselves as sexual beings and second one when we talk about sexuality it is the ways people express themselves as sexual beings so you talk about sexuality as an experience and also you talk about sexuality

as an expression okay so these are two concepts that need to be highlighted in our understanding of our sexual selves you talk about our experience as a sexual being and our expression as a sexual being now a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses our sex our gender identities and roles our sexual orientation uh you talk about the concept of eroticism you talk about the concept of pleasure you talk about the concept of intimacy and you talk about the concept of reproduction now again let me say that this is just a primer of our

discussion on the sexual self okay now we we have a more in-depth discussion of uh human sexuality or the sexual self if you uh will be going to our um video lecture on the sexual self which is like more than an hour of discussion now when we speak of sexuality this can actually include all of these dimensions uh the dimensions are found on your on the right of your screen now sexuality can include all of these dimensions but not all of them are always experienced and expressed okay so when we speak of sexuality it's all

about our experiences and our expressions but not all of these concepts or dimensions that you see on your right are experienced and expressed by human beings you talk about our desires you talk about our beliefs our attitudes our values our behaviors our practices our roles and our relationship now what we need to understand is that our views on sexuality is heavily affected by our education that's the reason why we need to make sure that we are able to address the concept of sexuality in school because this is perhaps the only place that you can discuss

human sexuality in a very um scientific and in a very academic way because again if you're going to discuss human sexuality or sex in particular say for example with your with your peers usually about human sexuality or sex right now don't get me wrong lust is actually part and parcel of how we discuss our or why we discuss human sexuality but then again we have to educate people on what sexuality and human sexuality is all about okay and that's the reason why a lot of people make wrong decisions bad decisions about sex and whatnot because

we are not properly educated about it and also our view about sexuality is heavily affected by our edu by our occupation you know in a particular context in a particular culture there are occupations that some people might think is only uh good for men say for example you want to be if you are going to look at the job of a construction worker the the first thing that comes to your mind is that that is a job for a man okay that is not being a sexist because somehow you have to look at it from

the perspective although that is not to say that women cannot be construction workers because there are women who are construction workers just the same also our view about sexuality could be affected by our in by our income okay say for example there was a movie of ashton kutcher and natalie portman before and natalie portman had this interview where she discussed about the gender pay gap in hollywood and ashton kutcher was taken aback by that interview by natalie portman because in that movie they were both on the lead roles but ashton kutcher was paid higher than

natalie portman although they were both the lead characters of the movie so you talk about the gender pay gap so sometimes and it's this is very sexist if i may say okay um that's very degrading of women and it should not be in any way like that so you also talk about our views on sexuality being affected by economics by law by by politics by history media society culture and religion okay now in our country there are just a few data being collected nationally on sexual health okay or sexual practices or behavior if i may

this is the reality because again i've been saying this a couple of times already filipinos find it hard to discuss sexuality at home filipinos find it hard to talk about human sexuality and they considered it a taboo until now to talk about sexual health and whatnot um i believe that there is just a minimal number of families here if there is any who are actually very much free in their discussion with their children about sexuality and whatnot because again until now they find it hard to discuss about human sexuality about sex and whatnot in the

family because again we grew up in a very conservative society if it is still not very conservative this is still a conservative issue okay to be discussed in the family and that's the reason why there's just a very few data being collected nationally on sexual health or sexual practices or behavior again if i may say sex education and we are not studying the sexual self not to promote sexual intercourse okay let me uh zero in on that we are not promoting sexual intercourse in our discussion of sex education but we are doing this to promote

what good sexual health and safety from sexual violence okay there is a larger discussion on this in our uh more than an hour uh lecture on the sexual self again let me remind you that what i'm doing right now is just a primer on the sexual self again we are not studying human sexuality or the sexual self to promote sexual intercourse but to promote good sexual health and safety from sexual violence now you have to understand that it's natural for everyone to become sexually aware but it doesn't mean that you are ready to have sex

particularly when you go to that stage of puberty where there are a lot of changes taking place in your body both outward okay physically okay taking place inside of you okay so this is a time that naturally you become more sexually aware but it doesn't necessarily follow that you are ready for for the act itself okay to have sexual intercourse and whatnot i remember i have this friend who was a doctor here in the philippines before she came to korea and that's where i met her and we were having this discussion and then she told

me she told us her friends at that time she's a doctor here in the philippines and she went to korea and we became really good friends and she took up counseling in korea and we were in this discussion where she said that there was um this girl around uh 14 or 15 16 around that stage around around those ages um who came to her clinic and said that her private part was actually uh having irritations and whatnot and so my friend asked the asked this young girl if she has a boyfriend you know doctors have

their ways to ask questions and whatnot so um the girl said yes uh she has a boyfriend and then my doctor friend asked her if the boyfriend was with her and so the girl said yes and then my my doctor friend asked her to bring her uh boyfriend to the clinic as well to inside the office and so that's already my doctor friend already had an idea of what's going on you know doctors have their own ways and why not so um she had you know what she did was to actually educate these kids because

they're only like 15 16 years old and what she said was and this actually struck me she said was even though you think you can do it it doesn't mean that your body is ready because there's a certain age when your body become ready for becomes ready for the act itself okay you do not explore at that age because your body is not yet ready and you might experience okay you might experience um stuff like what they've experienced they had irritations all over their uh their vaginas and their peonies and whatnot so they had their

irritations in their uh private parts because they they explored sexually at that age when their bodies are not prepared yet their bodies are not ready yet for it for the act itself okay so i hope that's clear and somehow that made you aware that there's a certain age when your body becomes ready for that okay it's not just because you become sexually aware you engage in it because you are not ready and your body is not ready for it yet okay and i hope that makes it clear now since most teenagers are not oriented on

the drastic transformations and temporary emotional takeover what usually does this result too you know if you are not properly educated that at your puberty stage you will be having that emotional take over but that is only temporary because of the changes that are taking place in your body and also with the chemical imbalances inside of you okay so since most teenagers who are going to that stage the puberty stage that level perhaps some of you are still going through that stage where there are a lot of changes in your physical bodies and whatnot and there

perhaps perhaps you realize that the emotional takeover at that stage was actually temporary because again there's a lot of changes you're trying to navigate the ins and outs of the situation and there are a lot of chemical imbalances that are actually taking place just the same inside of you so some people might find you being too emo okay okay but then because the reason is because we're not properly educated that the reason why there is an emotional takeover and it's just temporary if i may is because there's a lot of changes that is taking place

a lot of changes that are taking place outside of you and inside of you okay i've been saying about the chemical imbalances and whatnot because this is also part of our discussion on the sexual self okay what happens to the chemicals inside of us okay and that discussion will be covered in the uh more than an hour discussion on the sexual self as well now all adults have gone through puberty and that's right but not all adults have gone through proper sex education and i believe that that's one of the reason why we have uh

the problem of overpopulation here in the philippines right now okay uh and we're not busy as as people as filipinos there's not much a lot to do okay in in our society and that's the reason why there's that mentality of of the discussion of human sexuality and sex education being a taboo because we were not properly educated about it okay and that's a sad thing and i hope that our discussion on the sexual self will give us an idea that sex education should be discussed okay out there in the open but it has to be

academic it has to be scientific it has to be personal okay in order to help people who are going through it okay in order for us to understand what's going through our bodies inside and outside and what we need to do in order to take care of ourselves and also to protect ourselves and the people we love just the same and also we will be discussing the concept of erogenous zones now when we speak of these erogenous zones these are the hot spots in our bodies which you should not allow anybody to touch okay you

have to understand that information on erogenous zones are relevant and these are very much important for you to understand and these are beneficial because these erogenous souls are for sexual excitement but what i said a while ago you should not allow anyone to touch these zones because you have to protect it because some people might abuse it and might violate you when they touch your erogenous souls okay this is part and parcel of our discussion because we need to protect ourselves from sexual violence just the same now when these erogenous zones are touched there is

an expected automatic sensation okay that's the bodily sensation now the quality of the sensation okay that we feel okay when we touch these erogenous zones very much depends on who and how these songs are being touched now let me just say again and this is very important you should not allow anyone to touch these sense these songs not even your friends okay because these might um arouse sensations in you and this might be used by some by some people who knows about these erogenous zones to violate you and to arouse you in a certain way

okay now these erogenous zones will be discussed in the longer discussion of the sexual self okay now what we need to understand is that we need to be aware of the importance of how to take care of ourselves and this is the entire reason why we are studying human sexuality why we need to understand our sexual subs we have to be aware of the importance of how to take care of ourselves taking care of ourselves protecting ourselves not only ourselves but also our loved ones even the young children from the reality that we are still

working on even right now and that is eradicating sexual violence okay and the world health organization defined sexual violence as any sexual act attempt to obtain a sexual act unwanted sexual comments or advances or extra traffic we talk about human trafficking or otherwise directed against a person's sexuality using coercion and when we speak up coercion we talk about what okay uh the use of force by any person regardless of their relationship to the victim in any setting including but not limited to home and work now what i just want to highlight about sexual violence are

the perpetrators of it because the perpetrators of sexual violence doesn't decide necessarily be someone you don't know because it could happen even at home okay um you talk about unwanted sexual comments or advances say for example then suddenly somebody and you know that there is uh that that the comment was actually very much malicious and sexual uh in nature then that's actually considered a sexual violence already so you need to protect yourself from all this okay now there also we will be considering the topics of uh romantic love there's three stages of romantic love you

know this topic is actually very much um in touch with the reality because there's a lot of topics involved in the understanding of the sexual self so after um you listen to the primary you go directly to the longer um discussion on the sexual self because you will be learning a lot okay about uh romantic love and whatnot so there are three stages of romantic love you talk about loss attraction and attachment of course lust is not entirely wrong in a sense because that's part of the romantic love you will not be romantically involved with

someone that you are not attracted with and that's very much important for us to understand now according to maslar back in 2016 in her ted talk okay she asked when the right time for a female uh is to agree to have sex with her male partner okay she said that the right time for a female to agree to have sex with her male partner is when he commits and when is the time that a male partner commits to the female partner when is it definitely it's not during the first date okay it is when they

make a commitment in marriage okay now the statement of maslar actually is backed up by neuroscience claiming the claiming that uh backing up the claims of most of our elders advice for a better and long-lasting relationship you don't engage in a sexual relationship on a first date particularly women you have to understand that you have to take care of yourself because the moment that you get pregnant it's not the life of the man that will stop it is your life that will be put in a pause okay so you have to make sure that you

understand when to give up uh okay or when to give in okay not to give up when to give in okay to any uh sexual request coming from your partner and whatnot okay that is at least according to maslar now topics and content about sex may be rampant but you know it does not mean that people are well educated about it right um again in school and if i may say at least in my experiences in school we don't really talk too much about this it's very much of a taboo to discuss sex education back

in elementary uh the days when you became so curious about it and whatnot and there has to be a a a forum a forum if i may say okay where we can discuss about this out in the open personally academically scientifically in order to protect ourselves and to keep ourselves healthy just the same again if i may say the reason why we are studying the sexual self is not to promote sexual intercourse but first and foremost to promote good sexual health and also to make sure that we protect ourselves from any sexual violence against sex

education is not to promote sexual intercourse but to number one promote good sexual health and number two to have safety okay for us to be safe from any sexual violence and that wraps up our primer on the sexual self and now i will be proceeding with our coursework on the sexual self yes you heard it right after our coursework on dear unfiltered self we will now be having our coursework on the sexual self again after um learning from our discussion okay on the sexual self now the question for our coursework here is this and you'll

find this in your screen right now the question is how did our discussion on the sexual self help you understand human sexuality better let me repeat that how did our discussion on the sexual self help you understand human sexuality better or what struck you the most about our discussion on human sexuality so those are the questions that you need to answer now here please include your learnings from our video lecture when i say the video lecture i am not referring to the primary that we just had i am referring to the longer video lecture we

where you will be learning a lot more okay in our discussion of the sexual self now you have to start with your answer with because of our discussion on the sexual self i realized that okay so everyone will start with that statement and at the end of your answer you'll be writing your full name in your section i think you're already used to this okay and then these should be posted again both on blackboard and as a comment on your on our youtube lecture on the sexual self this should be 100 words at the minimum

this is graded by the way okay 10 points okay um make sure that your essay is original because the save assign tab on blackboard will check your submission for any plagiarized content okay so again um these coursework will be open is already open right now as i speak okay and we'll close on wednesday 11 58. we still have our quiz on the sexual self which will be on friday and will close on sunday this week okay so let me just again remind you that the coursework will be open on monday until wednesday and the quiz

will be open from friday and will close on sunday okay again um i would want for us to have a better discussion on this and this is the reason how i'll be able to understand that you understood our lecture better than memorizing or reading your lectures and whatnot again please make sure even after our discussion today you can go directly to that to our lecture uh finish the discussion on it and then you can immediately answer the coursework so you can be done uh and be over it immediately okay so again this is your coursework

on the sexual self okay i hope you learned a lot from the primer the introduction to our discussion on the sexual self a little bit of housekeeping people okay your quiz again on the sexual assault will open on not wednesday but on friday and will close on sunday okay now your next lecture is on the material self which will be for monday until wednesday next week we will not have any quiz anymore okay on the material self but we will just be having our coursework for the material self the reason why i'm giving courseworks is

because this is to compensate at least for your learning tasks okay because you can easily get 20 or 10 points on your coursework okay um i realize that there are many of you who are actually getting low scores in our um quizzes okay so i i i at least on my end i would want for you to compensate for your low scores and you know that if if you have submitted your uh your coursework on uh the deer until their self most of you got 20 over 20 and i think that's easier for you to

get instead of taking a uh than when you get a what then when then when you take a quiz right so um at least uh please follow but if you will not submit then you will lose 20 10 points okay and all of it okay so um your midterm will be available on friday next week okay friday until sunday that's from may 14 to 16 and this will cover our lectures on the physical self the sexual self and the material self 50 of your of the questions from our midterm uh will be coming from the

sexual self okay so make sure that you will be studying the sexual self because this is a very long discussion make sure that you um listen to the lectures from start to finish okay because again most of the questions will be coming from the explanations okay in our video lectures okay again 50 of your midterm questions will be coming from the sexual self and of course there will be questions coming from the physical and the material itself and also your prelim class standing will be given uh the earliest will be saturday next week um we

were advised again um to open the uh learning tasks uh which closed during our academic recess so i could not really check on uh your class standing because i have to wait for those uh um for those who have not taken the quiz on the psychological view of the self you can still do so only until friday as as per advice uh by the higher ups okay you might want to take a second attempt on it if your score is not uh very high and it will close on on on wednesday and after uh i'm

sorry on friday and after that i'll be able to uh check on your class standing and the earliest will be saturday that i'll be giving you your class standing but please wait because that might be until monday next week okay so um that will be for your the reminders for your uh preliminary exam thank you for joining me uh with our primer on the sexual self and i hope you learned a lot and also i've given you some reminders about our midterm exam just the same thank you very much for joining me this is ss31

understanding this help and this has been siri thank you for joining me god blesses all