Why does life feel so exhausting? Why does it seem like no matter how hard you try, how much you plan, or how carefully you navigate the world, things always seem to slip out of your control. You do everything right.
Follow the rules, seek approval, try to maintain stability. And yet peace always feels just out of reach. We are taught that control is the key to success.
That if we work hard enough, think carefully enough, and protect ourselves from every possible mistake, we can finally reach a place where life feels stable. But what if that's a lie? What if the endless struggle to control life is not the solution but the problem?
Schopenhau believed that the desire for control is the root of human suffering. Life he argued is not designed to be controlled because existence itself is irrational. The same force that drives us to survive the will to live also ensures that we are never satisfied.
The more we try to control life, the more resistance we create. The more we seek happiness, the more elusive it becomes. The more we try to avoid suffering, the more it tightens its grip.
Schopenhau saw this as the ultimate paradox. True power comes not from controlling life, but from surrendering to it. The less you try to control every outcome, the more freedom you gain.
The moment you stop seeking approval, you become more confident. The moment you stop fearing failure, you become more fearless. And the moment you stop holding on, life starts to flow in ways you never expected.
But why does letting go work? And why did Schopenhau believe that freedom lies not in mastering life but in accepting it? To understand this, we need to explore Schopenhau's brutal truth about existence and why the secret to power lies not in trying harder but in letting go.
Let's break it down. From an early age, we are taught that life is controllable. We are told that if we work hard enough, think carefully enough and make the right decisions, we can create the life we want.
Success, happiness, love, these things are presented as achievable goals, outcomes we can shape through effort and strategy. But Schopenhau saw through this illusion. He argued that life is not something we can control because existence itself is irrational and chaotic.
The will to live according to Schopenhau is not logical. It's not driven by reason or careful planning. It's a blind, relentless force that pushes us forward, compelling us to seek comfort, security, and fulfillment.
But the problem is that this force is never satisfied. The moment you fulfill one desire, another takes its place. The moment you feel safe, uncertainty returns.
Life is not a problem to be solved. It's a cycle of craving and dissatisfaction that cannot be broken through effort alone. This is why the harder you try to control life, the more unstable it feels.
The person who constantly tries to secure happiness ends up feeling more anxious because they become obsessed with preventing discomfort. The person who tries to control their reputation ends up feeling more insecure because they've tied their identity to the unpredictable opinions of others. The more you try to manage life's outcomes, the more you realize how fragile they are.
Schopenhauer believed that true freedom begins when you stop trying to control life. The will to live cannot be defeated, but it can be understood. The more you accept that life is unpredictable, that suffering is inevitable and that happiness is fleeting, the less power these things have over you.
Letting go is not about giving up. It's about releasing yourself from the exhausting burden of trying to control the uncontrollable. Humans are social creatures.
From an early age, we are conditioned to seek approval from our parents, our peers, and eventually from society itself. We learn that acceptance brings security and rejection brings discomfort. Over time, this conditioning shapes how we behave.
We become hyper aware of how others perceive us, adjusting our thoughts, opinions, and even our personalities to fit into the social framework around us. Schopenhau saw this as one of the greatest traps of human existence. Seeking approval gives others control over your identity.
When your sense of self is tied to how others see you, you become vulnerable to their opinions and judgments. Praise makes you feel valued. Criticism makes you feel inadequate.
This creates a cycle where you begin to filter your actions, words, and even thoughts through the imagined reactions of others. You avoid conflict, suppress your true opinions, and mold yourself to fit the expectations of the people around you. Not because it makes you happy, but because it makes you feel safe.
Schopenhauer argued that this need for validation is rooted in the will to live, the blind drive to survive and avoid discomfort. Social rejection feels like a threat because for most of human history, being cast out from the group meant death. But in the modern world, this instinct works against us.
The more you seek approval, the more you sacrifice your authenticity. The more you chase acceptance, the more you distance yourself from your true nature. The solution, Schopenhauer believed, is to stop seeking validation altogether.
Approval is temporary and conditional. It shifts with the moods and biases of others. But when you detach from the need to be liked, you become free.
True power comes not from being admired, but from being unbothered by whether or not you are. Most people believe that thinking more leads to better decisions. That analyzing every possibility, considering every outcome, and anticipating every risk will help them gain control over life.
But Schopenhau believed that overthinking is not a sign of intelligence. It's a symptom of fear. The more you try to predict and control life, the more trapped you become in your own mind.
Overthinking stems from the need to avoid discomfort. When faced with uncertainty, the mind scrambles to fill in the gaps. You replay conversations, questioning how you were perceived.
You anticipate future events, preparing for worst case scenarios. You analyze past mistakes, convinced that if you just understand what went wrong, you can prevent it from happening again. But the truth is, life is too chaotic to predict.
No amount of thinking can protect you from randomness, failure, or disappointment. Schopenhau believed that overthinking reflects an unconscious refusal to accept life's inherent unpredictability. The mind treats uncertainty as a threat and so it attempts to close the gap with logic and preparation.
But this only creates mental exhaustion. The more you think, the more possibilities you see and the more paralyzed you become. Decisions that should feel simple become agonizing.
Problems that should resolve naturally become overwhelming. The solution is not to think harder. It's to stop needing answers.
Schopenhau argued that peace comes when you accept that not everything can be explained or controlled. Life is not a puzzle to be solved. It's a flow to be experienced.
When you detach from the need to understand and predict everything, you make space for spontaneity. Overthinking disconnects you from the present moment. Letting go reconnects you to it.
The mind becomes calm not when it finds all the answers, but when it stops needing them. Perfection is one of the most dangerous illusions in human life. We are taught that if we just work hard enough, organize carefully enough, and avoid enough mistakes, we can create the perfect life, the perfect career, the perfect relationship, the perfect body, the perfect mind.
But Schopenhau believed that perfection is not only impossible, it's unnatural. Life is defined by chaos and imperfection and the pursuit of perfection only creates frustration and self-loathing. Perfectionism is rooted in the false belief that life can be controlled.
When you seek perfection, you are really seeking safety, a way to shield yourself from criticism, failure, and discomfort. You believe that if you say the right things, make the right choices, and eliminate every flaw, you will finally feel secure. But this creates an endless cycle of dissatisfaction.
Perfection is always just out of reach. The moment you correct one flaw, you notice another. The moment you achieve one goal, another appears.
Schopenhau saw this cycle as a reflection of the will to live. A force that drives humans to seek more, to improve, to become better. But the problem is that this drive has no end.
The will does not allow rest or fulfillment. It demands constant striving. This is why even those who achieve greatness often feel empty.
Success is not the end of the journey. It's just another step in an endless climb. True peace, Schopenhauer argued, comes not from achieving perfection, but from abandoning the need for it.
Life is chaotic, unpredictable, and flawed by design. Once you accept that imperfection is the natural state of existence, you stop wasting energy trying to fix it. You begin to see the beauty in imperfection, the freedom in letting go, and the strength in no longer needing things to be flawless.
Failure is one of the most deeply rooted fears in human life. From childhood, we are taught that failure is something to avoid at all costs. Failing a test, losing a job, ending a relationship.
These are treated not just as setbacks but as reflections of personal weakness. Schopenhau believed that this fear of failure is not rational, it's psychological. It stems from the belief that our value is tied to outcomes.
That success defines us and failure diminishes us. But this belief, Schopenhau argued, is false. Failure is not the opposite of success.
It's an unavoidable part of existence. Schopenhau saw life as inherently unstable. Success and failure are not separate paths.
They are part of the same cycle. The will to live drives us to seek success. But the very nature of desire ensures that satisfaction is temporary.
The moment you succeed, the next challenge appears. The moment you fail, the opportunity for growth arises. Life does not move in a straight line.
It fluctuates constantly between progress and setback. The fear of failure arises because most people confuse outcomes with identity. If you succeed, you feel valuable.
If you fail, you feel worthless. But Schopenhauer believed that identity should not be tied to success or failure because both are fleeting. The person who defines themselves by success will crumble the moment they fail.
But the person who understands that failure is inevitable, that it's part of the natural rhythm of life. Remain steady. Letting go of the fear of failure means understanding that life does not reward perfection.
It rewards resilience. When you stop seeing failure as a personal flaw and start seeing it as a natural outcome of living, you stop fearing it. And once you stop fearing failure, you become unstoppable.
Most people believe that caring more leads to better outcomes. That the harder you try, the more effort you put in, the more you will succeed. But Schopenhau believed that attachment to outcomes is the very thing that creates suffering.
The more you care about a result, the more vulnerable you become to disappointment. The more you cling to a desired outcome, the more fragile you become when things don't go as planned. True strength, Schopenhauer argued, comes not from controlling outcomes, but from detaching from them.
Detachment is not about indifference. It's about freedom. When you detach from the outcome, you stop tying your sense of self-worth to success or failure.
You stop depending on how other people react, how situations unfold, or whether your efforts are recognized. You shift your focus from external validation to internal stability. The person who is detached remains steady in the face of uncertainty.
Not because they don't care, but because they've stopped needing a specific outcome to feel whole. Chopenhau saw detachment as the antidote to the suffering caused by the will to live. The will drives us to chase happiness, security, and success.
But it never allows us to rest. Detachment interrupts this cycle. When you stop expecting life to provide comfort or fulfillment, you stop suffering when it doesn't.
When you detach from praise, criticism loses its power. When you stop seeking success, failure stops feeling like a threat. The detached mind remains calm not because life becomes easier but because the need for control disappears.
When you detach from the outcome, you engage fully with the process. You take action without fear. You face setbacks without despair.
Schopenhau believed that true freedom comes not from winning the game of life, but from no longer needing to play it. Letting go is one of the hardest things to do because it feels like surrender. We are conditioned to believe that success requires control, that happiness comes from securing the right outcomes, and that strength means holding on no matter what.
But Schopenhau believed that true power lies not in holding on, but in knowing when to release. Letting go is not weakness. It's the highest form of strength.
When you let go, you stop resisting life's natural flow. Most suffering, Schopenhau argued, comes not from life itself, but from the refusal to accept it as it is. We suffer not because life is cruel, but because we expect it to be something it's not.
We expect people to treat us fairly, plans to unfold smoothly, and happiness to last. When these expectations aren't met, we feel betrayed. But the problem isn't life.
The problem is the expectation. Schopenhau believed that peace begins the moment you release these illusions. When you stop expecting life to be fair, you stop feeling angry when it's not.
When you stop needing people to understand you, you stop feeling rejected when they don't. When you stop seeking permanent happiness, you stop feeling disappointed when it fades. Life becomes lighter.
Not because it changes, but because you stop resisting its nature. Letting go does not mean giving up. It means accepting reality without trying to force it into your ideal.
The person who lets go becomes more adaptable, more resilient. They face setbacks without losing balance. They pursue success without fearing failure.
They enter relationships without fearing loss. Schopenhau believed that the person who has nothing to protect has nothing to fear. When you stop trying to control life, you become free to experience it.
And in that freedom lies the greatest power of all.
