All right. We said name something people would wish for. You said a would survey says a >> we asked 100 people name something that you ride. You said that big thing. May I ask what big thing you were referring to? Uh um a ton truck. >> You was not talking about no tongue control. You wasn't talking about no pickup Truck. Survey says >> a >> we asked 100 people what is something that's sweet and wet. You said and I quote, "Is it a mango?" >> If it tastes like candy, sweet like fruit, wet like water,
is it a mango? Is it a mango? survey says >> we asked 100 people what matters the Most to you. You said black lives. Survey says, "Oh, they racist. That at least deserve." We got one. Hey. Hey. That was me. That was me. I was outside when they asked me. I know that ain't who I think it is. Haha. My girl is that Miss London. You know I came from a dungeon. Miss London and a [ __ ] eating a lunchon. She don't Want to throw no guns in. We punching now. She burning cuz that
smoking on bun. >> Diana, look. [ __ ] don't call my name. Oh, she still mad. Just leave her alone. Eliza, how did she even get up in here? Jesus, you been real nice lately. Diana. Hey. Hey. Hey, Elizabeth, you got some nerve coming up in here and these pearly gates talking about some hay. Girl, I ain't worried about you. Where my husband? Oh, Honey, I pushed him off these clouds like I'm about to do you. I mean, we can get down. We can cuz I'm about that, but I ain't going to fight you cuz
you old. I got somebody [ __ ] you. Rosa. Yes, me and what, ho? I will knock you so far to the back of the bus. And if you do, I rise. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. We are not about to do this. Well, the prayer say on earth as it is in heaven. So, what's up? >> The $20 Harriet Tubman has been delayed to December 31st, 2030 due to technical Design requirements. Also, a new $10 bill is coming in 2026. [Music] Here is your change, ma'am. And no, >> ma'am, are you Girl, what the [ __ ]
wrong with you? You gave me a Harriet Tutman $20 bill, you idiot. Well, I'm sorry, but we only got Harriet Tutman $20 bills, ma'am. I only take Jackson's. Andrew Jacksons. Where are the Jacksons? Ma'am, we don't have no Jackson's. I can try to see if I can Split it up into two $10 bills and see if we got some Hamiltons, but we don't got no Jacksons. Yes, do it immediately. Okay. She must be a Republican here. No. >> Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am, you keep screaming like that, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. What's
the problem now? These are two Martin Luther Kings. >> Well, I don't know what to tell you then. >> No, I know what to tell you. Keep the change, [ __ ] She thought she chewed that up. Go kill them roaches. >> And a bell on the mic. Couldn't have a ringtone cuz of copyright. You ready? >> I'm ready. >> All right. Let me sing the theme song. Bad boy. Bad boy. What you going to do? What you going to do? I'm out. >> Well, get out of there. Come on. >> All right. All right.
We got to go to the club after this. Annabelle. Annabelle. Annabelle. Annabelle. I know you hear me. Sister Charlene, come here. We got Annabelle. They spotted me. They spotted me. I'm on my way. Come here, boo. You better back up. You better back up. What? >> Annabelle, come here. Sister Charlene, please. Let's talk about this. Annabelle, now Charlene, if you lock me up, I'mma tell Pastor Jerro, I see you smoking outside. Shut up. I said my feet. [Music] No. >> Hello. >> I'm out. Swear. I swear. I swear >> they could They couldn't catch me.
They could catch me. >> They couldn't catch me. >> Breathe, Anna. >> I just ran up that girl out of jail. Look. Look. I said they thought 2020 were worse. They ain't seen nothing yet. They had me locked up in that box. I was sitting so quiet like just quiet your mute and when they miss I said boom I was about to get that girl from the exorcist what's her name what's her name what happened I thought those was the Ghostbusters Started tancing on your kids don't know nothing about no music. They don't know about
their music back in our day. What you know about music, granddad? >> [ __ ] Don't let this author riders fool you, boy? We don't want to hear no old people music. Play us all back in our day. Play us all back in our day. Back in our day that old school, I'm different. Yeah, I'm different. I'm Different. Yeah, I'm different. Pull up to the scene with my cinem when I leave the scene and I be like a loose two chain, but I got me a few lukew. [Music] [Music] I can't do this anymore. Anna,
I just can't. >> Elsa, yes you can. >> No, I just can't. >> Elsa. Elsa. >> I want to be Elsa. >> Yes. >> Shut up. Just shut up. Please just shut up. All me. She know what she doing. Every time she start singing, she want to take off like she wanted to be ghost. I don't want to hear no more. Come here. What has got an interview? Ain't nothing wrong with me. You act like you don't see the pattern with her. She know what she doing. That is uncalled for. Every Time that girl starts
singing, something bound to happen. Look at her. She's damaged. She's damaged. She's damaged. Get some blue. >> I will smack that carrot off your nose. Smack it. Smack it. Who are you talking to? I'm talking to you. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm talking to you. Going to work your [ __ ] Where she at? See, I told you. And I'm not going to help you. Look, I'm not going to help you. Elsa, I want to be. That's Prince Charming. Oh my gosh. Prince Charming, what brings you here? Uh, yes. One of y'all left
y'all flip-flop at the ball last night, and I was just wondering who it was. It's mine. It's mine. Your feet are too big. It's mine. >> Well, your feet are too small. >> That's my flipflop. >> That's mine. >> Girl, you better go tell them. It's mine. >> No. Give it back. It's not their flipflop. It's my flipflop. Cinderella. So you shut up, godmother. I do everything in this house. I sweep. I'm out the floor. I wipe the windows. I change the mattresses. I change the pillows. I do everything. It's okay. Shut up. Cuz all
three of y'all dirty. Y'all just dirty. I didn't say nothing about that brown stain I found on your pant. God, mother. Yeah. Yeah. Cry. Cry. Just cry. I was Going to cook out some Uncle B. I was going to cook out some Uncle B. Look at yourself. You're going to embarrass me like that. All you got to do is sit around and clip each other's toenails. Show you around. I don't even want to be. >> There once was three little pigs. >> Pigs? >> Yes. >> Okay. Oink. >> Stop. Then there was a big bad
wolf. >> Hey. Hey. Bro. Bro, please take this seriously. He went to the first pig's house. >> L come out here scrumptious. Not by the flocks of my dreadlock. >> That is not your line. >> Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin. Then I hoof and I puff and I blow your house down. Come outside little pig. Come outside. You better get off my property. Come Outside. Not by attention in my hair extension. >> Wrong line. >> I buff and I >> He went to the last pig's house. >> You better come outside
or what you going to do? Come outside like in the suburbs. You in the suburbs. Big SW around here. Big swine blow blow blow blow. Hey, look. Look. That's what you sound like. Can you be serious, please, for one Second? Okay. Okay. Thank you. The loss we are dealing with is sad, but heaven has gained another angel. Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly. >> Go ahead. Go ahead. What you want to do now? Can I go do something real quick? >> Wait. What do you want to do? >> Okay. Go, go, go, go. >> We
are hurts. We >> Why did you Oh my god. [Laughter] >> Wait. Look, look, look. Period. >> Oh my god. You is terrible. You f is for friends who do stuff together. U is for you and me. >> I play with y'all. I'm gone. >> He ran out of air. >> Oh. Oh, >> I am dead. Literally like okay. Here we go. Get a little water. I like my kisses down low. Make me arch my back when you get it. >> Is you the tooth fairy? How you know you Got a pink do-agg? Oh, okay.
What you be doing with all them teeth? You know, sometimes I be making grills with them. You know, I just do my own Well, you supposed to be sleep. You're not even supposed to be looking at me right now. You don't look like a tooth fairy to me. Go back to sleep. You broke into my house. You broke into my house. I ain't looking you no. Mama. Mama. Uh-uh. Mama. Mama. Yeah. Yeah, that's my P. See that? That's my P. Go to sleep now. Give me that tooth. >> This a sunflower. >> Hello. Who's there?
Once there was a girl named Goldilocks who came across a cabin in the woods. >> Oh, you want me to go? >> Yes. Oh my god. Come on now. She walked in and saw three bowls of grits. >> I thought it were porridge. This is the country version. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. >> She got the big bowl and took a bite. >> This is a tortilla. >> We is on a budget. We can't afford gracious. >> Say a lie. >> Delicious. >> No, you supposed to say it's too hot. >> Too high. >> Oh boy.
She got the medium bowl and picked it up. >> So this ain't no cornbread. If you just stop playing Right now, >> what? There's a boy in here with a shirt on his head. These my locks locks. Ever heard of um walk up like a flame? You know that song? Party. It's a party. It's a party. You never heard that, Mom? Mama, he crazy, too. Come here. >> All right. Any sleep conditions? No sleep conditions. Okay, if you say so. >> Well, that was easy. >> We can't do nothing. >> Oh my god. >> What
are y'all doing in my house? I'm the two fairy. You're not the tooth fairy. Why they always say that? We not look like fairies. Why did y'all break in my house and try to disturb my brother? The only thing I'm trying to do is put this quarter under his head. Headquarters. Don't leave me. Don't leave me. I ain't going nowhere. I ain't going nowhere. I ain't going nowhere. He ain't laughing. How did y'all get in My house? We put quarters under your head when you was a kid, too. What's my name? >> Jeremy. Jeremy. It's
not Jeremy. It's Jeremy. Jeremy. Bougie. Right. What's your name? A baby. What's yours? Talk. Whoa. Oh, okay. I like this. I like this. Let me make some room. Let me make some room. Make way for the king. Make way for the king. But I was here first. Whatever. Whatever. Anyways, it's nice in here. Yes. Is this Quarton? >> Yes, indeed. >> Oh. Oh. Scoot over. Scoot off. Scoot over. Scoot over. Scoot it. >> Stink. Stank in a building. >> Stank. Stank. Hey, don't nobody say that no more. Anyways, >> screw up. Make room. >> Ain't
nothing coming out. >> Ain't nothing coming out. >> That don't look like no fart. >> Wait a minute. >> Hi guys. >> Ooh. Uhhuh. It's crown. It's crown. We got to go. >> Oh, he lying. He do not tolerate it. >> Uhuh. That is paranormal. Open the blanket. Open the blanket. Open. >> I'm trying. I'm trying. >> God. God. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] What? Can I go back down there and scare one of my Enemies, please? That's a ghost. You going to be a ghost? Yeah, I swear
to God. I mean, I swear to you, I can do this. Okay, go down there. All right, watch this. Hey, there boo. Why you brought me back? That was the best ghost you could do. >> Yeah, put some passion into it. Just act like ghost in horror movies. >> All right. All right. Hey, go back down Though. I'm back. Go away, please. Spooky. Spooky. Spooky. 7 days. 7 days. 7 days. [Laughter] Exorcist. Exorcist. Exorcist. I killed that, didn't I? God. Go ahead. Go ahead. Where you going? I told you to be a ghost, not a
German Shepherd. All right. You ready for your funeral? Yeah, let's get it over with. All right, now this is serious. I want you to be serious now. I got you. I got you. Here Lies the body of someone special. >> Wait, wait, wait. >> Why I look like that? You look nice. >> I look like I'm about to jump out the casket, but go ahead. We are all dealing with >> I'm so sorry. That That caught me off guard. That caught me off guard. Go ahead. Go ahead. >> We will now have the viewing of
the body. >> Somebody hold us. >> God, I'm sorry. It's a habit. Why she faint like that? I love you, babe. Why she playing patt? Why is she playing a patty game? Come on. Come on. Push, Miss Minaj. Push. Breathe in. Push. Push. Nikki. Push. Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay. >> Good job, Nikki. What's wrong? The baby ain't crying. Only child. Yep. That's who I was destined to be. Get the belt sir and bacon chassity came mama mama more sty than fashion week. I ain't talking bodies when I say your net to me. Dropping bars at
the right a penitentiary. I got the rock bling sentiment and I'm rich got the bread. No honey we baby next on the throne parliament. I ain't my ass but I rise boy. I'm a ride out miss and I still got my flow to the ocean. Why the Arios Fishy [Music] child? Hand me my child. >> See, my whole thing is why they let him hold me over this big clip. That's what I'm saying. And all these animals is just cheering. Now, if I dropped, it would have been a different story. It would have been a
different story. That's why I'm trying to get them to understand. I could have been dropped, fell, collapsed, plummeted, descended, Plooped with no parachute. Just like your daddy. No. No. Why you say that? Sorry. too soon. >> You have to talk about my daddy like that. You know, >> I ain't I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. I should have said. You're right. You're right. You know, rest in peace, Mufasa. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. I really don't know. >> Girl, what is that? Anyways, you've been practicing your roar. Yeah, I've been practicing. Rock. Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on. SA Disha don't go for real disha for real. I'm scared. >> Come on. We got to meet up with baby. Come on. >> I ain't going to cross that road. >> Me neither. You heard what happened to John. >> You know the saying when life hands you li you a road. You better cross it, baby. Come on. >> That ain't what they say. >> Come on. >> Well, you go first since you want to be Mighty Joe Young, >> right? [Laughter] Disha. Oh my god. Daresa, is she okay? Did they get
her? Did they get him? Did They get her? >> Yeah, they got her. >> Oh my god. How you know? >> Cuz the lair gate is the right place. >> No, not Disha. >> Oh my. [Laughter] >> We got to call somebody. >> Who we going to call? >> The vet. >> The vet. She not no pet. What they going to do? I got to go tell Bambi. Oh my God. [Music] I told her not to >> all this bacteria. You already know it's about that season. Yeah. And I heard they got this new seasoning
called CO. >> Yeah. I heard about that. But we got to find the right person for that. And I heard it's strong, too. >> Oh, I got a little STDs in mind, but I ain't going to judge that. Be careful. Be careful. Yeah. I spit it out. I spit It out. >> You remember that time we draw Ariana Grande blood? Like it was yesterday. Hurry before she in the concert. Hold on. Let me see. Ooh. Oh, what is this? They said her blood type be. Oh, so we sipping on that brandy. Have you ever loved
somebody? Good times. I think this the co trying try. I'm taking some of this home. Let me just get in this car real quick in you. All right. Sounded like you got hit. Flare up. I see you on TV. You see me on TV. I see you on TV. You see me on TV. You see me on TV. What is you doing? I don't know. I just seen his hair. I just wanted to bite. You studying politics? Yeah. I'm trying to get my degree at fly university. Oh my god. What? What it feel like? >>
I don't know. I'm on the fuzzy side. I need to go to the smooth side. Yeah. Go to the smooth side. Okay. Okay. >> Oh yes. This definitely hit different. This different. But what it tastes like. What it tastes like. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. >> It's a little bit. It needs some sugar. I want to go to that girl head Kabala. >> Mhm. Yeah. Huh. >> Wow. Just look so brown. voluumpuous. Mine tastes like chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. What? Let me share a song from my playlist with you real quick. But that's a
phone case. They know it's a phone. Y'all know it's a phone case. They know it's a phone case, but they supposed to think it's a phone. It's supposed to be a skit for laughs and jokes. >> Well, my bad then. >> Go ahead. Anyways, let me share this song with you real quick. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. I said stop >> boy. What you got in your playlist then? You want to hear my playlist? >> No. >> Well, too bad. >> Gabriel, play that piano. Play that piano. >> I I know you lying. >>
Why don't I be >> This is a Heaven exclusive. [Music] I love God. You love God. What's wrong with you? >> You don't like that? >> Let's play my song again because No, no, no, no. >> So, you can now bring back people from the dead. >> Really? >> Yes. You can bring back people from the dead like revive them. >> Like necromancy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. >> Necromancy. >> Yeah. So, congratulations and I hope you enjoy yourself. Harriet Tubman. Me and John want our babies to be born free like they supposed to be.
What's up, Harriet? Follow the North Star. Oh no, you got me confused. I'm not a slave. Give me your hand, baby. Give me your hand. Does your master know that you left? >> No, I'm saying it's 2020. We ain't in the cotton picking days no more. They Make y'all pick strawberries now, Miss Tubman. I'm saying we free now. We free. Kind of, but we free. Thank the Lord. So the master picked their own cotton now. No. Well, I guess so. Oh, hey, come back. Come back. They just hunting. >> They not shooting at you. They
just hunting. >> Just calm down. You is brave. I would have done made it halfway past the Underground Railroad by now. >> Hey, sexy. >> Don't you start that. Don't be coming around here with no Hey, sexy. Cuz you come around here with that, guess who going to come? Who? That one. And if that will come, guess who going to come following right behind it? Who? That one. Get behind the corner. I said get behind the corner. And then when I tell you I got all that, what you going to do? Break my heart. Then
guess who going to come? >> Who >> that with? >> So do you really want all that? >> I don't think so. >> Exactly. So now I got to work through all my insecurities, build myself back up cuz you wanted to come around here with some sexy sexy. I just wanted to make >> my face. >> Oh, >> he can take you in that hay sexy house somewhere. >> Okay, >> the commencement of the annual purge. >> Oh my god. >> Weapons of class and lower. >> Get out of my box, man. Open the door.
We about to go to the mall. It's the purge. I know. Which means we can go to the mall and steal. >> Oh yeah. Come on. All them bags you got. >> Hey, I don't know about you, but we need To hit the shoe store real quick. All them Yeezys we can steal. Hey, who is that? Who is Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, >> we got some um Jordans. Do you want some Jordans? >> Well, if you want Nis, just say that. Hey, you better calm down. Dr. Pink Taser. Pink Taser. Got it from my sister.
What's his name? What's his name? Her name is Barby. What you going to do with it? >> He's dead. He's dead. >> That's what I'm saying. Like he just act like no issues. >> Andy, make sure you apply for colleges. >> Oh yeah, I will. >> I just think it's funny how you act like you don't know us anymore. Wait, what? You think too grown to play with toys now? I wasn't going to say anything, but Woody said it. So, >> you were just going to leave us like That and nah, don't start that screaming
cuz I've been there for you thick and thin. We seen you change your underwear and apparently it don't wipe oink. I done seen some feal matter. Not feal matter. >> Fal matter >> and he don't clean. >> Right. I done seen a roach eating the [ __ ] under the bed. Roshina. >> Yep. Roina. >> Oh yeah, she been here a long time cuz She chunky. Made no sense. Don't worry, he ain't going to college cuz ain't no money in this piggy bank. Bankrupt got declined. Oh, he got a bank account now. Oh. >> Oh,
so you replaced me already. >> Andy, I heard you screaming. Is everything okay in here? >> You can't leave us, Grandad. You can't leave us. >> I know, baby. I know. But this is the end. I'm getting I'm getting old. >> You can't leave. >> Come here. Come here, baby. When you get home and you see your grandma set her oxygen tank on fire cuz I know she been cheating on me with your uncle Louis. Dad, how could you say such a thing? Shut your up. You and I both know they got something going on.
She cheating. Not with my husband. >> No, I'm all right, baby. I'm all right. I just had to pass out after that [ __ ] You just can't accept it, Bailey. Except what, Dad? That your mama is cheating with your husband. That is a lie. You know that's a lie. You got me dead. Literally. >> I'm glad that old lion dead beat is dead. Your m >> Oh, hold on. I got to clean my browser history. Hold on. I almost forgot. What's wrong? Show me your arm. It's nothing. Show me. Fine. She got bit. She
got bit. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Just Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. What you mean she got bit? >> No. >> Don't worry. I'mma make this quick. I'mma make it quick. I'mma make it quick. That's your friend. She ain't my friend though. Mo. She is your friend. You can't just do that. Well, you know the saying. Keep your enemies close and your friend's dead. That ain't what I can't do it. Give me the gun now. Now. Give me now. Give me the Now, >> why you shoot her? I didn't shoot her. I did.
Why? I just got scared. She was twitching his ass. Why you shoot him? He was explaining. Oh, he want No. >> Oh, I thought I just want to know why she had to leave. That's what I'm trying to figure out. Why she had to go up there to get a man? Right. She had that real guy Aquaman around here somewhere. Exactly. Like what's your purpose? I told Ariel, "Do not go to the human World." Here she go. I wish I could be part of that world. I said, "Are you even got a piece of this
world yet?" Thank you. And then I see her talking to that octopus. What's her What's her name? What's her name? Canuela Eureka. Ursula. >> Ursula. Ursula. She was talking to Ursula. Ursula. I said, "Are not be talking to Ursula?" She cussed me out. >> Cursed you out? >> It wasn't even in English. She cussed me Out in fish. >> Fish? Yes. What she say? >> She saidoop is out of pocket. No, she out the ocean. And I told her, you lay down with humans, you get up with life. Period. And dance on the seven seas.
But that's okay cuz she'll be back. >> She sure will. >> Hi. Hey. How are you? This is my first time. >> Oh, really? Really? This is like my Second time. This is my second time getting on here. >> Yeah. I just seen the train outside my house and I was like, let me get on. I promise you, you'll like it. We're going to see Santa and stuff. And >> hey, you Yeah. You do. You know what kind of train this is? >> Hey, you turn around, please. That would get on my nerves. Don't talk.
You know what train this is. You know what train is? You know what train this is? >> Yeah. I promise you. But it's fun. It's really fun. I promise you, you'll like it. We going to see Santa Rudolph. I wish we could go see Frosty, but you know, they said he be he smoke. >> Yeah, you know the song. Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy song with a corn pipe and a button. >> Oh my god. Yeah, they be trying to seem that far fast so you don't realize what they saying. But I watch
conspiracy theories. They can't get it past me, Man. Frosty be gassed up. Frosty be gassed up. What's going on? What's going on? You feel that? What is going on? We got to clip my toenail. What's up, Annabelle? They got me. They got you. And I'm locked up again. That ain't funny. I was walking down the street. Next thing you know, I heard police sirens. Guess who jumped out the car? Who? The preacher. Said, "Oh Lord." I said, "Oh Lord." Literally, cuz he threw a Bible at me. The Bible hit me in my head. I was
rendered unconscious. It's on the news. Go look at it. Turn it on the news. Turn it on the news. >> We have Annabelle in custody. The pastor was Annabelle. Come with me. Come with me. Annabelle or Annabelle. [Music] >> Oh my god. Annabelle is retaliating. >> Don't do it, Pastor Gerald. >> Hold on. Hold on. Are you all right, Annabelle? Yes, pastor. Do you want me to pray over you? No, pastor. I'm good. All right. I think it's red. Oh, no. It wasn't. It's just that you been a little sus. You been a little sus.
Just a tiny bit. Like, we really not trying to be all mean or nothing, but like it's you. I was doing my task this whole time and y'all think it's me think it's you. Y'all think it's mad. >> Yeah, but why you getting mad? >> I'm getting mad cuz y'all be honest. It was you. >> And then I think I seen him going to the vent. >> The vent. >> In the vent. You see him in the go. You got to go. You got this way. That is not acceptable. It's green. Maybe it's green. >>
Me. >> Yeah. Chocolate feel safe with him. >> You don't feel safe. >> You throw him out. Throw him out. >> It went him. Oh, my bad. It got to be blue then. Got to be blue. Oh, that's how we going to do I don't care cuz at the end of the day I got God and God loves me and sometime God put people in your life and he tries to remove them just why y'all always got to drag me into I ain't got nothing to do with it. I ain't got nothing to do With
you what you and Gerald got going oh leave me out of it. Just leave me out of it Christina. Leave me out of it. You told me to give me a sign. You said boy please give me a sign and I'll put double rainbows. I put double rainbows in the sky. Christina, it had all the colors. It had every color. Christina >> and in clouds in clouds. I spelled it in clouds. I said, "Do not continue with this man. He is toxic. He is toxic." With a capital Q at the end. What you Do? What
you do? You kept me with him. >> And then you asked me for another sign. >> I see a bird flying through your house and it was like, "Ra, Christina, Christina, ra what you trying to do? You trying to kill it." So don't be dragging me into nothing. >> All right, let's just talk about it. Who's the most important organ? It's definitely me because I got to tell y'all everything to do. Y'all can't Think for y'allselves. But if I didn't pump blood to you, you wouldn't be able to function though. But I have to tell
you to pump blood though. But you wouldn't be able to tell me to pump blood if I didn't pump blood to you. That's one thing about the heart. Now he going to pump. First of all, if y'all don't got oxygen, this whole [ __ ] going down. And that's just the truth. Well, our human just started smoking, so you might not last long. And I heard that Nicotine is strong. Got me over here glitching. Girl, >> sucks for you, lad. You don't even do nothing around here, [Laughter] right? We over here trying to figure out
who the most important, but we know it ain't you. >> Why you beating so fast? Cuz I'm laughing. You better stop before you get arrested. Oh, you're right. Let me stop. I see what you did there. Cardiac Arrest. Rapunzel, p Rapunzel, let down your bundles, Rapunzel. No. Why? Cuz you told me you was going to let me leave this tower last week. Rapunzel, I done gave you a place to sleep, shelter, food. That ain't enough. I I want to go explore the world, man. Okay, if you let down your hair, I promise I'll let you
out. >> Swear I pro I promise. I scout honor. Okay, then you better let me out, man. Thank you. Can I go? Girl, you ain't going nowhere. We in quarantine, girl. That's funny cuz you got all excited and stuff. >> I'll jump. >> You bad. Jump. >> I swear to God I'll jump. >> You want to be Spider-Man? Jump. >> Jump puzzle. Hit me. Hit me. >> Come on. Bust a move, Michael. I'mma rock your world in this mother. >> Rocket. >> I swear to God. >> Rocket. >> I ain't playing no games, man. >>
Exactly. Now help me put up these girls. >> What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? You did all this other stuff to bring Japanese hearts. Japanese hearts. Japanese hearts. Why? Why? Like we wasn't scared to go outside already. You break Japanese hearts. What's next? What's next? The world going to explode? Aliens don't come from the sky. What's next? >> I don't know. I got to think about it. >> Think about it. >> Yeah, >> you got to think. >> Yeah. >> What you mean you got to think about it? >> And who
are y'all? Come outside. Yeah, Come outside. I'm not coming outside. You little house cat. Come outside. Yeah. Yeah. And bring some of that salmon you be eating, too. I bet you eat some good food in there. What it taste like? Yeah. What it taste like? Hey, you already know what it tastes like. B me up. Tastes like candy. Sweet like fruit. Wet like water. Can I love on you? He don't know nothing about that street cat life. >> Yeah. Do you even know how to clean Yourself? >> He don't know nothing about that leg lifting
lit. Yes, I don't. >> We don't do no catnip out here. Be >> Let me outside, mom. We will tell you what. Meow. >> Who is that? Oh, that's big mu. Meow. You going to put the paws on me? He don't know how to meow, right? So he said me, don't put the ps on a meow. Don't do it. Meow. Don't do it. Meow. That's animal control. Defense. Y'all, we got to go. Right. Go. Go. Go. A B C D E F G H >> Right. >> K. L. You guys are always messing up. Seriously,
it's L M N O. >> Child. It's L, right? We ride together, we die together. I don't know about that now. Go ahead, Pete. Don't go ahead. Pee me. Y'all always grouping together. Y'all supposed to be individual. N girl, I'm sorry, but we've been doing this for Years. This is Elemento. Y'all confusing the kid. Let them be confused. Y'all is elemental. Show is elemento. I heard a T in that. Am I part of the crew? Nah, I just said that to put emphasis in it. Oh my gosh. Can we please just get along with the
song? Shut up cuz we really don't need you, ex. For real. You irrelevant, right? Every time somebody try to say a word that begin with you, they always say xylophone or x-ray. I know y'all ain't talking cuz I bet y'all all going to say the same thing. Watch this. What's a word that begin with a apple? I'm sorry. A He got us there, right? That's the only thing I can think of. >> Hey, girl, you got your man pregnant? >> Yeah, she got me pregnant. I sure did. I put that C hussy on him. Girl,
not the C hussy. The sea hussy. Well, congratulations. >> Thank you. Thank you. I'm on my third trimester. >> Oh, I know you ready to pop. >> I am. I am. >> Girl, I knew you could do it. Child, no. You should have seen him. He talking about some I'mma put my baby in you. Put your baby in who? You must have thought I was human, right? Tell him we ain't never did that before and we'll never. I wish I would get pregnant. You a man. Step up to the Plate. Right. Real men get pregnant.
I need to hurry up and get my man prick. Girl, you better hurry up. You know that see hussy work wonders. And do matter of fact, Mike. Yeah. When I come back, that ass better be to it up. Girl, that's big Mike. Yeah, you can't handle all that. Child Mike be throwing it back on me. Oh, I know. That's right. Child, you know Mike, my third baby daddy. You got to stop getting these men pregnant, sister. Child, I'm trying to go get a Vasectomy. You going to cut your se hussy off? Quita got me in
this goddamn stuff. Quita. Quita, you are quita, you breathing funny, girl. Oh, and she and she going to keep on walking. You know what I'm trying to tell you. Quita, I'm trying to tell you. We need to stop shopping. You over here breathing funny and [ __ ] Sh. She ain't going to listen to me. There. Go to slap your mama right there. Quita, go ahead and get it. Yeah. Okay. She Okay, maybe she good. Sh. Come on. Let's go get this macaroni. Quita. Quita, I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to do what they
taught me to do up in the service school, but you ain't listening to me. You over here can't breathe and carrying on. You know what? Come on. Keep going. Quita, we just passed the macaroni. Quit. Quita. Quit. Oh [ __ ] [ __ ] God damn it. Quita. I tried to Hey. Hey. Hey. Meow. Meow. Meow. Hey. Y'all don't hear me. Meow. Meow. A me out. You know what? Y'all acting like y'all don't hear me. You I can't do no CPA. You know what? I'm about Queer. I'm about to go. It was nice knowing you.
I'm about to find me a new owner. >> The next game will now begin. >> Y'all. Y'all. Y'all sh I'm concentrating y'all. I'm about to just eat my cookie. >> I got umbrella and I'm hungry. You going to die. I don't care about that. I'm about to eat my cookie. >> Are you serious? We supposed to be a team and you want to die? >> I'd rather be dead peacefully and stomach full than to be stressed and depressed over some money I might not win. Don't eat that cookie, Charles. They going to get mad. Hey.
Hey. They going to be like, "His ate the cookie." Boom. Charles done ate the cookie. Oh, Charles cookie good as hell, too. >> Hey, he was just hungry. Can he get a new cookie? I guess not, child. I'mma miss Charles. Me, too. You cracked your cookie. Shh. You cracked your cookie. H. I ain't cracked my cookie. I just farted a little. I heard that crack. Hey. Hey. He cracked this cookie. Now your cookie crack. He cracked my Cookie. I'm gonna be your He cracked my cookie. Whatever. >> The first game will now begin. >> Green
light. >> Red light. Y'all better not be moving. Okay. Green light. Red light. Oh, y'all moving. Y'all moving. All right. Y'all doing pretty good. I'm not going to lie. Green light. Red light. Oh. Oh, you were moving. >> No. >> Yes, you were. >> No. >> Hey, she was moving. >> No. No, I wasn't. >> Girl, you was doing the twostep. >> Green light. >> Red light, you moving. >> Oh, you shaking your head. Get them. >> That robot getting on my nerves. Mine, too. >> Red light, I know y'all not talking about me. Don't
let these pigtails fool you. Y'all don't want to smoke. It's Quiet. Ain't no bad talk. Hey, shoot them. Anyways, great light. Oh, got him. Green light. Where are y'all? I was just playing, y'all. I was just playing. What did I tell you? It will happen once and it will happen again. What you watching? Oh, I'm just watching my client scream about her boyfriend again. >> You so lucky. All my client do is play Fortnite. That's because you got a 13-year-old. I'm telling you, I got a 20-year-old and when they hit these 20s, it's like watching
an episode of Euphoria. I ain't lying. >> Why she grabbing them pills? That's rude. What's she doing now? Hold on. Let me see. She texted her friend Bisha to come over. All right, y'all. I got to go. >> Wait, you Bra? Yeah, I knew Ba look familiar. I said that look like me but With a wig. >> Yeah, I've been doing this for 2 years. So you like undercover and all. Yes, because we think her parents got something to do with the mafia and all. Oh yeah. Okay. They almost caught me one time. For real?
>> Yeah. This wig got itchy and I went to the bathroom to scratch my head and her mama came in there and said, "We fix you something to eat bitch." I said, "Oh." She said, "Your hair." I said, "I'm Fantasia." Look at that baby. You got a forehead just like your mama. Yes, you do. That baby know she rich already. I would sleep like that, too, if I was a billionaire's kid. And it's so nice in here. Smell like perfume and makeup. Ooh. Ooh. She waking up. Good morning. Hey, give me a honey real quick.
Excuse me. Your mama dropping that album this year. Now you know. I know she ain't. I know she ain't. >> But you can make her. >> Uh, for real. When you pop out, slide on that computer and leak the album, she won't get mad. >> That's not okay. Yeah. Um, security. Oh, you too bougie to have us around, huh? >> I'mma ask y'all to leave, please. >> What kind of tampon is that? That's a pretty ton. Oh, I know that joint smell good. Rihanna is making it all. Baby about to come out smelling like the
inside of Victoria's Secret or Something. Baby about to smell like that girl from Encanto. Which one? The one that throw the flowers everywhere. Oh, I know she smell good. Hey. Hey. Hey, can I use your phone real quick? >> Yeah. Yeah. Hey, stay here. Stay here. >> What is this? You know what? Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. >> Hello. >> Hey, this Tim. >> Yeah. >> What's up, Tim? What's up, Tim? I just wanted to tell you that I've been using your credit cards for the last couple of months. >> You've been what? >>
Yeah, man. What a guy. >> From your City Simplicity to your AT&T to your BB&T to the STD. Yeah, I've been using them, >> bro. >> Mhm. >> That's why you went bankrupt. Mhm. >> Hey yo, I'mma beat y'all. >> All right. Now, I'll talk to you later, >> man. >> Hey, Sugar. >> Hey, Auntie Bertha. I just wanted to tell you that Uncle Curtis been sneaking around with Pastor Willer and they have not been doing Bible study. >> I ain't been reading scriptures >> and it's not been in the name of God. >> Oh,
Jesus. I rebuke this. Help me, Jesus. Help. >> Hey, friend. >> Girl, what? >> I just wanted to tell you that your boyfriend has been cheating. He I knew it. Boom. >> With your grandma. >> Oh, my grammy. >> Yep. About her new dentures and everything. Yep. Mhm. >> How do you know? >> I caught them last time. I caught him at That party last time and he said he was changing her pampers. >> My grandma don't even wear pampers. >> Exactly. Exactly. >> Oh no. Oh. >> Girl, you better get them. We >> We
only got like 5 minutes. You better go get them. >> I'm going to get them. I'mma get them. >> All right. Now, >> I told you not to put your hands on me. >> Don't you understand? >> Understand what? Your mom doesn't want you here. You put your hands on me again and see what happened. I'm telling you, you don't want to go out there. It's horrible. Whatever. They got these things called taxes, and I'm telling you, it's crazy as hell. Take my word. Oh, and they got something called depth. You know, Deborah, I know
Deborah. Yes, I'm telling you, depth will ruin your life. Really? Don't get me started on menopause. Well, the doctor said I'mma Be a boy, so no men go through menopause, too. Swear. Yep. I call it MLC cuz it creep. Yeah. Isn't that TLC? No. MLC, midlife crisis. Yep. Your hair fall out, your coins below shrivel up. It's just terrible. I don't think I want to go out there exactly. So, just go ahead and eat me. No, I'm not that hungry, but thank you. I must not be plan B then. I don't know where I am.
Well, I have been seeing blood clots up there ever since you came. So, maybe you For the period or something. >> Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. Can somebody tell me where the entrance is? Ha. Ain't no way. >> Yep. 83. 83. >> 8 [ __ ] three. >> Oh, Tina, don't be cussing in here like that, girl. My bad. My bad. Let me call Jesus. >> Son, why are you calling me? Jesus, guess who just walked through these pearly gates? It It better not be Jamie Fox. I told him I was going to give him
another 40 years. >> No, no, no, no, no. It ain't Jamie. >> Jesus. >> I know. I know that ain't Tina. Put me on speaker. How I do that? Put me on speaker. I I don't know. Cena, I know that ain't you, girl. >> Rolling, rolling, >> rolling on the river. is you know who here >> now you know what you said in that song keep on burning >> go ahead Gabriel I see me >> Gabriel what is that you remember um the baby you had sent Kiosha >> yeah well um Kiosha sitting in that
bag she she sent that back yeah it's right there she didn't want it >> I guess not Well, put it put it in the fetus deleted section. All right. Score. Gabriel, what I told you about Throwing them infants like that? It's saying right here that Kiosa just got pregnant again. Send that baby back. Oh, okay. Be free, little baby. [Music] God. God, it came back. It did. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, birth control. Hold on. Let me just erase it now. Throw it back down. Hello. Go ahead. Kiosha said she want to speak
to you. >> Uh-uh. >> God said he don't want to talk to you. She said in the Bible, you said that you won't put nothing on her more than she can bear. If she can show her bare ass, she can bear that damn child. You heard that? Okay. >> All right, y'all. It's almost our time. Spring and summer is right around the corner. Are y'all ready? Hell yeah. I'm ready to bite the [ __ ] out these [ __ ] I know that's right. Girl, when I tell you I'm about to be at all the
cookouts, I'mma be [ __ ] and throwing up on everybody. All right. All right, girl. You already know me. Them humans just evicted me out their house cuz I wasn't paying no rent. You know I'm ready to be outside. What about you, honey bee? Girl, you already know I'm the gas. All right. Now, and what the [ __ ] I do, [ __ ] All Right, y'all. This year we standing on [ __ ] And we stronger than ever. Ain't that right, Spider? You already know >> what? What? Why y'all got excited? Girl, we do
not [ __ ] with her. Oh, girl. She ate my grandma last year. Yep. Ate her and that arthritis up. [ __ ] [ __ ] you. The one time we want to walk in the cornfield, we get our ass abducted. I ain't complaining. Take me away. Please take me away. Bills is too High. You right. Take us away. Take us away. Take us away. Yeah, come on. And I got student loans. Yeah, come on. This about to solve 99 of my problems. You are a mess. At least I'm not getting abducted in a turtleneck.
You You going to leave my turtleneck alone because at least I'm going up here presentable. >> Presentable. Yes. Presentable. Because when they make me the leader of the rebellion, just remember this Turtleneck. >> They going to make you leader cuz you got a turtleneck. >> Yeah. And I can't wait to get up here and see them. I'mma be like, "Don't do that. They gonna shoot your ass down, right?" I'm probably cussing them out. They going to be like, "No more [ __ ] with turtlenecks." Okay. They going to have a sign. [ __ ] with
turtlenecks is off limits. Meeting on the dock. Meeting on the Dock. Why are you screaming? People is trying to go to sleep. Captain, >> what happened? >> So, I was on the dock doing my nightly routine, right? And I look out into the water. Why do I see a half fish, half human? Which one of y'all done [ __ ] a fish? >> Are you serious? >> I did not [ __ ] no fish. Which one of y'all [ __ ] the fish? >> I ain't get nasty with no fish. I don't Know what y'all
talking about. Don't look at me. Why is y'all looking at me? Cuz Jeremy, you look like you'll [ __ ] a fish. You look like you'll eat a fish out. I do eat fish. See? No. like cook fish. Don't do that, Captain. I think it was Jeremy. I think it was too. Jeremy, let me tell you something. If you going to get nasty with fish, keep that [ __ ] in the ocean. Don't be having your fish baby mas and the fish babies coming here looking for you for child support. We Ain't got time for
that. We got stuff to do. I did not get nasty with a fish. What you did then? Just took her on a date. No, I didn't do nothing with a fish. That looked like Jeremy. Hell yeah, that's Jeremy, baby. Hey. Hey, Raphael. Hurricane Raphael. Raphael. What? What? >> Do us a favor real quick. Yeah. Yeah. Do us a favor. I need you to make a trip to The east coast and whoop Florida ass. Whoop the [ __ ] out that [ __ ] and get South Carolina while you at? Don't forget that [ __ ]
Georgia, too. >> Wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Louisiana. Oh, you want some, too? Because we trying to spare you right now, [ __ ] We would hate to give you PTSD to Katrina, [ __ ] Wait, wait. What is going on? You want me to get the whole East Coast? >> Oh, hell yeah. You got to do what you Got to do. Just leave New York alone. Leave Go Yankees. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave New York alone and um Virginia. Don't touch Virginia. >> What is going on, >> child? The election was
the other night. >> Oh, >> shut the [ __ ] up, Texas. Slap that [ __ ] too, Raphael. Slap. So, you want me to get the East Coast and the Midwest? Hell yeah. We need you to get 86% of America at this time. Just a Country full of dumb asses. Come out. I gotta go. I Y'all need to figure out what y'all got going on. >> I don't know why you just didn't get that oil change. >> I told you I had to pay for some bills. Now don't get on my What the hell?
Who are you? >> I am Count Nigula. >> Oh, you a vampire. You look kind of fun. >> No. The [ __ ] Can you please move out of Our way so we can go home, sir? No, I have been sleeping for over a millennium. I don't give a damn. You must have took too much benadryil. Can you please move out our way? What the hell is you doing? I'm stretching. Why you worried about me? You ain't [ __ ] stretching, [ __ ] Yes, I am. How long it take you to stretch? >> I
know my throat so tight. Apple bottle make her want to bite. You play all day. Can you please move? He ain't serious. >> Yes, I am. Do you not know how long I live? You know how much money going to be in my retirement fund? Come on. >> What you waiting for? You need some seasoning? I got some slap your mama right here. Here. Right here. >> Mhm. >> It's going to be spicy now. Go get you some water. Yeah. Go get some water. Don't make it holy water. >> Thank you for inviting me to
your place. Of course. And you always welcome. Thank you. I like this. I need to move here one day. No, you don't want to live here. I heard Tanya live here. Tanya. Yeah. And you don't like Tanya? Yeah. I do not like Tanya. Matter of fact, is that her right there? >> [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [
__ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] B. [Music] Get out. Get out of my hair. Get off my hair, >> y'all. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] >> No. Stop. Tanya, back up. That [ __ ] beat my ass. Tore your ass out the frame. Child, I don't know if you heard, but they said Darla May got us some new food. She got us some new chicken feet. Mhm. And all the chicken saying
it's good, too. Uh-uh. Well, come on. Let's go see what this about. I know. That's right. Come on. Hey, y'all. We heard we got some new chicken feet. Yeah, child. Where is it? It's right here. Girl, this [ __ ] good as [ __ ] man. Darla May did her big one. I swear to God, man. I'mma take some back to the coop. >> Oh, my mama. On my mama. Girl, pass me that piece right there. Hold on. I got you. That got a little seasoning on it, too. >> Munch on it. Munch on it.
Yeah. Oh, you know I am. It tastes good on that side. It really do. It really do. Give me another piece. >> Me, too. God damn. How it taste, Betty. >> Darl does her [ __ ] >> Wait, wait a minute, y'all. Ain't that The same tattoo our old home girl Tweety had? That do look like Tweety tattoo. So, what we going to say when we walk up in there? I don't know. We got to say something that grabs their attention, you know? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, >> put the truffle in this
duffel, [ __ ] >> Uh-uh. That sound like we reading out of a kid book. >> Put the truffle in this duffel cuz I tussle with my knuckles. Yes, my Knuckles like the tussle. Rustle. Hustle and hustle. >> Okay, Dr. Seuss. >> No, no, no. Stop. This serious serious serious. >> How about everybody get down before I shoot this? Oh, everybody get down before I shoot this. >> We about to get this money. We definitely about to get this money. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Say it in a New York accent so they know you not
playing Around. >> All right. All right. Yo, dead ass son. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Let me Okay, okay. Go, go, go. Yo, dead ass son. Word to my mother. Everybody get the [ __ ] down or I'm cracking this [ __ ] up like >> You sound like you from New York. You >> I do. I do. >> Hell no. Come on. Yo, word to my mother. Get I forgot they had security guards. >> It is hot. Can you stop complaining? We almost there. >> Oh boy. O, what the wrong with you? That's my maiden
call. Well, do you see somebody cute or something? >> No. >> Is it her? Oh, it ain't her. It is her. You want to tickle my tail feathers, don't you? >> No. >> You can't help it. I'm the baddest. It It must be nature because I don't see I don't see it. >> You better go say something and stop fighting your urges. >> I'll make you excited like you never been excited before. Oh, >> you like her. It can't be her. >> I'm telling you. [Laughter] You must like her, too. >> No. No, I don't.
Yes, you do. Tor, what? Grug, your rent is short by five pebbles. When you going to give me the rest of them pebbles for your rent? I told you I will give you the rest of the pebbles next week. You told me that when? Last week. That make next week. This week. Where is the rest of the pebbles? I ain't got it, Grug. I ain't got it. Well, you just got to find another cave to live in. Another cave? Yep. You and your little mut. Do not call my son a mut. >> Daddy, I'm a
mut. >> No, we all know that you [ __ ] that monkey. >> You done [ __ ] a monkey. >> That's why that baby look like that. >> Get off my yard, girl. >> This ain't your yard no more. >> Get off my yard. >> Who? What? Get off my yard. >> I'm going be back. I'mma be back. >> Go pack your stuff. We got to go. >> Daddy, I'm a mut. >> No, you're mixed. You're racially ambiguous. That's why they mad. >> Really? >> Yes. >> What? I'm mixed with >> Japanese and Indian.
Come on. >> Have you ever heard of Candyman? No. What is it? They say if you say his name five times in a mirror, he will appear and hurt you. >> Really? >> Mhm. With the hook. slice you right through your back. Candy man. Candy man. Candy. That don't mean say his name is you crazy. >> Candy man. Hey bro, I'm letting you know now. Candy man. What you running in the stall for? Cuz the people in the bathroom stall don't get hurt. Man, whatever. Boy, if you don't stop all that screaming. I thought you
was supposed to Have a hood. I couldn't have no hood. We on a budget. You going to hit me with a stick? >> I just might. Look, look, look, look. Keep my name out your mouth. Okay. >> Oh, this mirror dirty. Hey, come out. Candy man got kind of goo. >> I ain't coming out. >> Watch this. >> I am the writing on the law, >> boy. Come out. Ain't nobody going to Hurt you. >> Say my name. >> Hey. Hey. Hey. The bomb said this. >> All right. I think it's time for us to
eat. Um, what do you want, little one? Um, I think I want some um some um some butterscotch or something. Butterscotch? We ain't never ate no butterscotch. What is you talking about? I don't know. I just really want something like some pickles and ketchup. Like some pancakes with ranch on it. That sound good? Don't That sound good? That sound real good? That's Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Religion. That's what your mama named you. Yeah, religion. We don't do that here. Girl, shut the [ __ ] up and put some ranch on my flapjack. No. If
anything is going to be on a pancake, it's going to be syrup like normal people. Well, can I at least get some bleach or something? Bleach? You want to You want to eat bleach? >> No. No. No. No. I want to smell it. Let Me smell some bleach. I want to smell some bleach. >> No. Well, can I get some strawberry onion pudding? >> What the No. What kind of combinations are these? >> Well, you know what? You just going to have to put some ranch on the goddamn pancake. I ain't putting no ranch on
no pancake relief. >> Putting ranch on that goddamn pancake or I'mma make this [ __ ] feel contractions On my mama. >> Yes. Can I have some pancakes with some ranch? >> What the hell? >> Round one, fight. >> Dang. All right. All right. All right. Can you play better? I'm trying. I'm getting beat up. Come on now. Oh my gosh. Shut your block. Block. I don't know how to block. All right. Shut my Okay, just start pressing buttons. [Music] >> Yeah. Yeah. Why you got me crouching? My My butt is stuck. I got dry
milk in it. Wipe it. Block. Yo, I said block, not jump. I'm trying. Why you moving the thing like that? This is not motion control. How you going to buy a game and don't know how to play? >> Almost everybody do that. >> Did you do the tutorial? >> The what? >> The tutorial. >> The what? >> The tutorial. >> The tutorial. Man, that's what I said. >> You said turtle with an accent. Start learning combos of >> finish him. Run. Run. >> You got the meatballs? >> Yeah, I did. I heard they really good
This time. >> Yeah. >> What? What? Oh, yeah. You are a vegan, right? I bet this make you mad, don't it? You think that's funny? You think harming animals is funny? Um, we didn't harm no animals. We just eating them. Yeah. Don't be trying to force your beliefs on us. You guys are going to have high cholesterol. >> You think you Pocahontas now cuz you Eating the leaves, petals, and tree branches and chlorophyll and stuff. You could never be Pocahontas. >> Could never. [Music] [Laughter] [Music] >> What's wrong with you? >> That chicken you're eating,
I can hear his soul screaming out to me. What is this meatball saying to you? Tell him to put me down. It says you Need to release it and throw it in the trash to rest. Oh no, I paid $45 for this meatball. I'm about to eat this. Look, look, look. Hey, this meatball about to make me act. Yeah, eat your banana. Hey. Hey. He know he want that meatball. That's why he acting like >> Do either of you know why I brought y'all here? Ain't we getting a raise? Because I think we've been doing
>> Shut the [ __ ] up. No, y'all not getting No raise. Ch. He man. >> Now I need y'all to tell me why is there footage of y'all flying past the plane? >> Flying past the what? There is no footage. >> Yeah. No. Our UFO too fast for that for them to catch us. Then what is this? This was recorded July the 14th, 2023. >> July the 14th. We did smoke a joint that day. >> That ain't us. That's a big ass pigeon. And then to make matters worse, I heard that y'all got on
the plane and had some lady screaming. No, we didn't play the video. But I am telling you right now, that mother, that mother back there is not real. >> Your jewelry ain't real, ho. Stop. You about to blow our cover. And on top of that, y'all was found in somebody backyard in Las Vegas. Sir, we was looking for a casino. This don't look Like y'all was looking for a casino. It looked like y'all was coming from the casino. >> So, we still don't get around. >> Get y'all ET looking asses out my office. We need
to link up. I'm on my way, D. I'm on my way. All right. All right. All right. All right. [Laughter] Boom. Boom. [ __ ] What you want to do, Anna? What you want To do? I don't know. Let's just walk around or something. Well, let's just go roam the streets. All right. Let's just walk around. Let's just walk around. All right. Come on. Come on. Come on. Annabelle, hold on. You tired. >> Oh, boy. Here we go. >> People. Oh, they break dancing. >> Hold on. Oh my god. Oh, look at him. Go out
there. Nah, I ain't going to do it to him. That old lady don't know nothing about no. [Music] [Music] >> That's right. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. You better. >> Okay, Coco. So, I have a little surprise for you. This is your new brother. >> You smell like you just came fresh out the coochie. I did. So, you my new sister, I guess. So, what's your name, child? She said she going to name the Gucci child. I bet she Is. You know she black. Oh, girl, you got some milk. Uh-uh. I'm your sister. Oh,
my bad, girl. I had forgot. Baby, I ain't got no simileac over here. Baby, you know. I think we going to get along real well. Mittens, I have a surprise for you. Welcome home your new sister. What the [ __ ] Mittens. Oh my god. Shakita, don't do that. You over here dropping an orphan in front of me. You do not hit your sister like that. That Ain't my [ __ ] sister. You a damn lie. Hey, you got to get the hell up out my ass. >> I just want to be your best friend.
[ __ ] you better back the hell up. >> Stop. Shakita, act like you didn't just bring this homeless fetus up in my house. You got to get her out of here. They just girl, how your babies doing? They doing good. Girl, why T-Rex Shauna said that she going to catch me slipping as soon As she get the chance? She get on my damn nerve, right? She think cuz she the biggest carnivore that she can just run some [ __ ] Um, this neck do more than just stretch, baby. That's what I'm saying. And if
you need help and we need to jump her, let me know because I'mma snatch her by them little ass arms she got. She can't even fight. Just bite. >> [ __ ] what the [ __ ] was that? Girl, is it judgment day? You know they said Jesus supposed to come back. Girl, that Ain't [ __ ] Jehovah. Girl, what the girl? Is that a tree growing that [ __ ] fast? Hell no. Look girl, that is Jesus. >> Child, they rolling in deep. I wonder why they coming so soon, right? We just evolved in
this [ __ ] Sh. I'm going up beyond. Going up beyond. >> [ __ ] that ain't Jesus. You know, it's just really hard. Like, >> I understand. I understand. >> And you know, when you feel like nobody wants you, that stuff gets to you. Like, well, look what the starburst pack dropped. Dan, what is she doing here? >> No, we do not need to do this right now. Can you please >> This is my session. This is my session. This is my session. Don't nobody want her? No, that's not true. I want you. >>
Thank you. >> Oh, really, Jeffrey? Really, Jeffrey? That's your mentality? You should stay out of this because you don't understand. I'm a therapist. Not with that head on, Mr. I got the versus in the bag. >> What is going on? I want to get all out of stuff. Oh, okay. What happened? What happened? I don't get out of my calm down. Calm down. Uhhuh. Don't drag me into this. Yeah. >> All right. You ready for this? All Right. Let's go. Let's go. Let's do it. Okay. Let me get the Vaseline. Pucker up. >> What is
it not enough? Let me get the big kind. No. Can you just stop? Just stop. Just stop. >> Tiana, you know you want these buttermilk lips. >> Buttermilk more like Mo cheese. I I just can't. Uh-uh. Why? You know, you can't be a lion. So, you're trying to say if I was a lion, you would kiss me? I Probably would. You know, like Mufasa, you know, like Ra, you know, ribbit. >> What you crying for? >> Cuz all my life I had to fight. >> It's the frog thing for me. I just came. >> Tiana,
you is not right. I brought you a flower. I brought you some banana. He said I brought you a honey bun, too. And these ain't even the little Debbie. These off brand. They great value. >> This just not for me. >> You know, I don't even want you cuz you Got facial hair anyway. Factual hair. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know, my rice. >> All right. Here we go. Any sleep conditions, HB? It say right here. Um, sleepwalking. Sleepwalk. Yeah, that ain't that bad. Oh. He ain't see me. I don't think so. Do you see me?
Yeah, I see you. You see me? >> Yeah, I see you. >> All right, then. We about just sit here Looking like some big melanin ferris just get the tooth. Oh, [ __ ] Why you screaming? Oh, we sleep screaming. Screaming. Why you ain't tell me yet? Hey, >> what we going to do? Just do something. Do something. Do something. [Applause] >> Come on now. All right, let's go. >> And I looked at him. I looked at him. I Said, "Satan, >> quit playing with me before I have to knock you down." >> What he
say? >> You want to know what he said? >> Yeah. >> My name Lucifer. >> I know you. >> Right. Like that was going to make me do something. >> Like that was going to make me do something. I looked at him. I said, "And My name Jehovah." Like, >> right? >> Who do you think you are? >> Mhm. >> Like for real. Like that was going to make me do something. He trying to been like taken over. >> And like guess what he did, Gabriel? >> What? >> He tried to bust the mood, Gabriel.
He tried to bust the mood. >> Try to bust the mood. >> Wrong cup. >> Wrong cup. >> Wrong cup. >> I'll do a little drip. I'll do I'll do a little drip. He tried to bust the mood though. He tried to bust the mood like that was going to do something >> like it was he was like I'll take over. I said >> like I think not like >> I think not like for real who he think Is Gabriel. >> That's crazy. >> He had me miss. Look, I'm not mad. I just want y'all
to tell me >> who ate it. Eve, just tell him. Tell him what. You ate that apple, girl. You ate the apple. Huh? You ate it. Eve, did you eat that apple? I I don't recall. I don't even like apples. I don't recall. >> They just don't do it for me. You know, >> if a apple look my way, I just keep walking because I just I just I don't Like the apples, you know? Like, they don't make my stomach, you know? I'm more of a orange and pecan girl. You ate the apple. You >>
Adam, calm down. Adam. Adam, calm down. Adam. Adam. Oh, screaming. Screaming. Screaming. Breathe. Adam, breathe. Now, if you talking about apple pie, then yeah. But apple look my way. I'm just be like, can't eat it, you know? I just I just don't do the apple stuff. >> Oh my god. Never thought we would be in the hood. >> Be in the hood now. >> Yes, indeed. Hey bro, what is y'all doing in my house, bro? Look, sir, just go back to sleep, bro. Get out my house. We here to give you a quarter. I don't
care. Get out my room. Oh, he got an attitude, right? I ain't going to give you no quarter. I'm giving you nickels. I'm telling y'all now, if y'all don't get out my house, piss it off. >> I know you ain't just throw no rocks at me. >> Yes, I did. >> Bro, >> yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. You ate your punch right out. Yes, I did. Oh, you want to fight? >> If y'all don't get out, I'm I'm from the south. I'll give you a twopiece in a dry and a dry. Yeah. What's good, >> guys?
Let's not fight. Hey. Hey. Get out of here. >> Don't worry. I got you. I got you. P, bro. Give me this back, bro. He's strong. That's what I thought. And y'all better get up out my house. Hibi. Hibi. He gone. Yeah, he gone. Let's go. Let's go. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. >> Tooth fair, what is you doing? >> Look at Beyonce. Not even supposed to be In Beyonce room. We supposed to be in blue ivy room to get her to. But you know I love Beyonce. >> I mean, look
at her sleep. Surfboard. >> Come take my hand. I won't let you go. >> Hold up. They don't love you like I love you. Slow down. They don't love you like I love you. >> Can I get a refill? >> That's not Beyonce. That's El Varner. >> My bad. Pour it up. Pour it up. >> That's Rihanna. Oh, Beyonce say Something about drinking. >> Let me get out my fairy 2000. You like my fairy 2000? >> No. Can we go? >> Shut up. Anyways. >> Oh, there you go. >> Bro, turn that now. Let's go.
What is you doing? >> Praying that she has sweet dreams. What you think she dreaming about? Maybe she I don't know. What is you doing? >> Flawless. >> Do it again. Flawless. Back in the hood. We back at it again. Oh, he sleep. Yep. Knocked out. What's under his pillow? Hold on. Is this a grill? Look like a wrote up piece of paper to me. It's a grill. Look, look, look, look. I go on and on. Can't understand why I love someone. I must have superowers. 225,000. >> You You get up out my house. We
here to do business with you. You ain't got to get no attitude. I don't know why You screaming for. That's his fingers. No, it's not. It's a chopper. That's his hand. It's a blinky. Oh my god. Don't shoot. I got him. Run too far. Right. Y'all, what is we going to do? What is we going to do? >> Why her lips look like that? Is she dead? >> What if she What is What if she sick? At this point, I'm about to go to sleep with her, if you know what I mean. >> Wow. >>
I can't wait. >> I think we all should just give her a big hug. >> Shut up. Maybe we should give her a shut up. >> Get on my nerves. Move. I know what to do. >> Girl, wake up. >> Why would I do that? How do you like that? Work anyway. Work anyway. >> I I think we should. >> What the? She still sleep at this point. She narcoleptic. Narlect. I got you. I got you. >> Eat this. Snow White. Eat it. Eat it. >> Boy, give it that. He said narcoleptic. Not hungry. Let's
just give her a hug. >> Shut up. I'm done. I'm done. >> Snow White, wake up. You supposed to be my boo thing. There's something about you, girl. Let's get >> Thank you for coming, Pastor Gerald. You're welcome. I promise we will help. >> She's been possessed. >> Where is she? >> She's over there. My daughter's been possessed. >> I swear we will help. >> You ready, Sister Shirley? Let's get it, Pastor. >> Why do you have a Hawaiian punch bottle? >> Girl, this is holy one. What's her name? Mscato. You named your child Mosscato.
Hey, that's Mosscato. Just calm down. No, that's not mosquito. That's vodka. >> Throw the holy water. Throw the holy water. I'm scared. >> The holy water in the name of Jesus. Come on. We got to go after her. Come on. Leave that alcohol and drink alone. Come on. Surely I can see you. Come out. >> Hey, I'm back. You've been out there [ __ ] You've been out there [ __ ] You've been out there [ __ ] No, I have not. You've been out there [ __ ] No, I have not. A [ __
] can't go chase a rat without you thinking I've been spreading my legs. See, that's the problem between Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. You've been out there flocking. I have not. >> Hey, I have forgot to say >> Macy, who the hell is that? Maisy, who? Maisy, who the hell is that orange cat? Maisy, I I I don't know who the hell that is. Out of all the cats you could have chose, you chose this ugly ass cat. Let me call your uncle. Hello.
Your niece just brought a orange cat to my house. I think she been out here for a orange cat. Yes, a ugly ass orange cat. Let me see. Look. Oh, baby. That ain't Garfield. >> Hell no, it ain't. It look like you. >> No. No, it don't. Yes, it do. At least your grandkids going to look just like They grandpa did. Stop. >> Rosa, is that you, Rosa Park? Yeah, it's me. Rosa, I heard so much about you. Why you didn't get up? You right, baby. I should have got up. How is the kids doing?
I ain't even going to lie. All the kids be at the back of the bus now. >> Oh, well that's fine. That's fine. That's fine. So, what you do now? Oh, I make trap music now. You make trap music? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Uh-uh. Let me hear something. Let me hear some drop beat. Drop the heavenly beat. >> 1955. I was on the bus. Ain't trying to stop. But guess what? I was in the front. I had my leg while the bless was in bed. Everybody in that bus almost had a heart attack. He said,
"Excuse me, ma'am." I said, "Well, Iam said, "Why you so cold? You got to get up, girl." I said, "No, no, no." I said, " no no no no. >> Hey, I'm a little hungry. Can I go check in your fridge for something? Cuz my stomach's a little raw." You know, it's a little raw. Can I go get something to eat? >> Uh, yeah. Something should be in the fridge. >> Great. >> Oh my god. You got milk? >> Yeah. >> So, you got a dad? Wow. >> Oh my gosh. That is so cool. Y'all
doing like father and son bond together. Y'all go on fishing trips and stuff together. That is so cool. Like people is really out here with milk and dad. Like oh my god. That is amazing. Like wow. Oh my gosh. We don't got no milk in our fridge. We just got orange juice. And you know sometimes it gets a little nasty. You know we got to use the orange Juice with the cereal. But you know you get used to it after like 18 years. You know it's kind of disgusting but it's okay. You know it's not
that deep. You know like vitamin C you know. Oh my god. My dad died. He fell off a cliff after my uncle pushed him because my uncle cheated with my mom. >> Yeah, I caught them when they were I found eggs. I found some eggs. I'll eat the eggs. Thriller. >> We don't sing that here. >> My bad. >> Welcome, Michael. We finally glad to have you here. So, I'm going to be honest with you. The singers are over there. That's where Whitney at. Michael >> Michael, >> rock with me, Jehovah. >> Okay, Gabriel, play
the guitar. But I don't have a guitar. Pretend like you have one And you'll see. [Music] That's it, Gabriel. Right there. Come on. A little louder. Play it, Gabriel. >> Don't want to see your face. You better disappear. The fires in their eyes and their words are really clear. So beat it. >> What? What? What do you want? >> They got food. >> They got a swear. >> I swear they're having a whole cookout. >> Cookout. Let me see. Just look, look, look, look, look. >> Oh, they got I told you. Is that lemonade? That
is lemonade. No, Beyonce. Pour it out. Pour it out. Watch out. That's reality. But okay. Yes, it did. Where she at? Hold on. They got Big Macs. They got Big Mac. These is not no Big Macs. These regular homemade burgers. Well, excuse me. I thought these was Big Macs. Either way, we about to eat. Come out. [Music] >> Hey y'all. We got some flies. Get the spray. >> They about to get the buzz spray. We need to go. I don't care. Rain don't scare me. Rain don't scare me. Rain don't scare me. Rain. >> Pastor
Gerald. Y'all can't. We don't do Hugs. >> We don't do no hugs. Well, my son has been seen ghost. >> Ghost? >> Yeah. He always comes at night. He right cuz I can feel something breathing on the back of my neck. The back of my neck. The neck. The back. >> That's the air condition. >> Anyways, tell us more. >> I can't. Why? >> He's here. Cher, I just seen something in the corner. >> No, you didn't. >> Yes, I did. >> No, you didn't. >> Yes, I did. Ain't nobody over there. Out. You were
looking at me. Stop crying here. Write your cal down. Why you been waiting on me? I thought you was doing. >> Oh, that's a big roach. That's a big roach. I told you. >> This was a really good idea. >> I told you we about to make a killing out here like Jeffrey D. Hey y'all. We got bread. We got bread. >> You got bread? >> We sure do. Give us some bread. Give us a bread. That'll be two seeds. All right. All right. Here's your hot dog bun. Not the fray fry photo. Have a
nice day. Oh, here go a Crumb head. Y'all got some bread? >> Yeah, we got some bread. Give him some bread. We praying for you, Pizzelle. >> Yeah, I need some prayer. I need some prayer. >> I need some prayer. >> I need some prayer. >> I need some prayer. I need some pray. >> Okay, Pel. Okay, give him the red. Give him the red. Here, here. There you go, Pizz. >> Oh, he gone. What's up? >> Oh, you a tall pigeon. Yeah. What you want? We got some fakatcha. >> Yeah. Some weed. Daddy, get
your messed up. And some band say this papacito. >> I'm a eagle. >> B. Oh, he work for the government. We got to go. Go, go, go. Fair enough. It's a Is that a pimple? If it is, it's about to leave me alone. His nose look like he had a hair. He got a mole on his nose. It sounds like it's going through a cycle. [Applause] What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? I thought I seen Pennywise. >> What's wrong? They're picking Ivy. >> I don't want to hear it, Rudolph.
They only do it because you let them do it. Now go back. Go. Go. I said go. >> What's up, Big Red? My name is Rudolph. >> Beat him up. >> Hello, Mariah. >> Oh, hi. Hi. Hi. Um, our tree is right behind you and the kids are asleep, so you can go ahead and just take your time. >> All right. All right. Thank you. >> You're welcome. You're welcome. >> You know I'm married, right? >> Excuse me. >> I said you know I'm married, right? >> Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why? >> Mariah, you want
me, don't you? >> Excuse me, Nicholas. See, Mariah, I knew you wanted this big old snowflake right here. >> I do not want you. You always making sauce about me, but I hate to break it to you, Miss Miss Whistle. No, but I'm married to the sweetest lady in the North Pole. And I'm happy for you, but I guarantee you I do not want your cookie milk. >> I ain't the only one who want milk and cookies cuz you want my milk and cookies. Don't you, Mariah? Don't you, Mariah? What was that you pulled with
Ariana and Jennifer? >> Nicholas, I need you to leave. >> Santa's coming. He will be mine this Christmas. What was all about? >> That's not even the lyrics. I don't see goodbye. >> Bye. >> Wow. Wow. >> Don't touch me. You dirty nasty box full of roaches with your sandy looking looking like you just got off a shipping truck that ran off a cliff with your goggle head looking looking like you android that was made back in the BC times with your old dust bucket head. First of all, who are you talking to? I'm the
OG. I was made before you. Yeah, I may glitch a little bit, but still. >> Oh, so you want beat? Nah, you want Wires. I do. I do. You got the right robot to date. Oh, don't you ever Oh, no. You been shooting. I got to go. I'm low on gas. That ain't funny. I don't run no gas. I'm electrically powered. Okay. You act like something wrong with diesel gas. Looking like a superpowered tampon. >> There once was a girl called Red Riding Hood who delivered cookie. >> Y'all add me on Instagram cuz you know
what I'm saying. Queen Riding Hood. In the woods. >> Hey, hey, hey. >> No, no, stop. Dang. And she had a sweet grandmother named Mey. And she called her. >> Hello, Grandma. I'm almost there with your cookies. You got my cream? >> Yes. Good, good, good. Cuz I'm getting wrinkly. Might need some of that boot. Some what? That boot? Some what? Grandma the Box. You mean Botox? Boot. Okay. I just need some of that boot. All right. All right. All right. Okay. Little did grandma know there was a big bad w hey stop stop. Just
just get her. Just get her. You're doing too much. Don't start that crime. Little Red arrived at grandma's house. >> Hey, say your line. Say your line. Say your line. >> I'm grandma. What is going on? What is going on? >> Trying to put his ass on me. Grandma. >> Go beat that old lady. Grandma. >> All right. Our job here is to catch a ghost. We got a lot of paranormal reports and the last report is somewhere over there. My calculator Betty is going to calculate the coordinates. Okay. What's wrong? I just want to
know why they pair me up with you. I want to be paired up with Daffy. I want to be my partner. >> No, you always lose your glasses. You losing them now. Put them back up. They making their way down already. And what If we got to run? You're right. No wonder Shaggy doesn't like me. Thelma, I'm sorry. Thelma, I'm sorry. Damn. I said I'm sorry. Damn. >> You like Shaggy? >> He's amazing. He makes me want to reset my calculator. >> Shoot your shot. >> I don't know. You think I should? >> Yeah. >>
You heard that, VMA? We got to go. >> Jinkies. Jinkies. >> Why did I tell you? >> Where is it? Where is it? >> I'm about to leave. Come back. >> Where is it? Where is it? Why you going so fast, man? I don't know, man. Okay. But I can go faster than this, though. I bet you won't. I will. I will. Okay. Okay. I told you. And I go faster than it is. You go. I told you, man. I told you. Cuz you know I don't care. I don't care. You Better go. I don't
got limits. You don't. Who needs the world? Life is meaningless. Yeah. What's the point in living? What's the point? Slow down. Slow down. That's why you ride. >> We living on the edge. Well, I want to go back in the middle. You still not done. You got to wash the dishes, too. Come on. What's wrong with you? >> She stay crying, >> guys. Stop. She probably feels the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost. >> Yeah. The Holy Ghost. >> Yeah. In a place like this. >> Yeah. The Holy Ghost. I don't be taking her medicine. I
thought this was Disney Channel, right? Maybe we went to the copy, right? >> Girl, stop that crying for real. We going to get you out of here. You going to the bar? Let's make our dress. Why? This just a video and we on a budget. She can wear a nice carpet. Oh, she still feeling Cinderella. Didn't I say go wash them dishes? >> Yes, ma'am. >> Godmothers. Tmaine, it's late. Girl, I b you. Keep playing with me and I'mma tell my mama. >> She not going to believe you anyway. Who you screaming at? >> What's
up, dog? I'm Wo and I'm Cosina and we are your fairly eyed parents. Did he not hear me? Do I don't think he did. So, just like repeat. Okay. Okay. And we are your Oh, they done gave us a weird one. This time, we're here to make your life better. What is your wish? I rubber goose green moose juice the um this the bet version. So >> what's the word with a little more despist girl? >> What she say? She said something about Using the bathroom. P what? Despionist. Oh no. I'm a Christian. I'm a
Jehovah Witness. >> Oh well not knock not then. But what you want? I want Vicki to go away for a long time. I'll be back now. Just wait for the results. Vicki, >> you're positive. >> What's your name? Hunter. I'm scared. Hunter, don't worry. If I were you, I would just run to the woods. Don't try to get the weapons. Is That what you're going to do? Yeah. All right. 5 4 3 2 1. Go. Keep going. Don't look back. Hunter, come on. What? >> Hey, hey, hey, get that one over there. All right, Dr.
Seuss, you ready? I was born ready. Drop the beat. Dr. Seuss on the beat. Yeah. Yeah. >> Made back music. >> Please order the cornbread, ma'am. I want green eggs and ham. Might get my hammer and wham. Might on the gram. Let me get one thing too. And bring the thing on my juice. Click clack on a hay stack. Ooh. Let's go to Kazoo. I need a crazy girl, not peaches. Matter of fact, that get a cat in the hat. So he go let me show you my stacks. Money ain't On trees. Lorax, what you
care for? Don't run. My fist goes pom pom pom. It goes pum. I'm speaking in tongum. What's going on now? Oh, so she just don't care. Is that a tampon? Uh-uh. I ain't never seen a tampon shake before. Oh yeah. No no that [ __ ] said >> she said what y'all look look listen listen >> there go ma'am she is doing it. Let me try. You Don't need to try that. What the was that? >> That was a roach. You all right? I I think Roach is demons. Why? Cuz that scared the hell out
of me. She too busy worried about her toy. She need to be cleaning up. What the hell they doing? Running track. >> No, for real. Three, two, one. Happy birthday, Earth. Happy birthday. >> Oh my gosh. Thank you. We know you've Been having a hard time, Earth. So, we just wanted you to have a good time, you know. Yo, dude. We got some champagne and we got some snacks. Little asteroids that you can eat. Yeah. >> No, but um where's Sun? You know the sun ain't coming. He always screaming. >> Can you um scoot over
Earth? I don't want you touching me. Like >> you always jealous of Earth. Like why? Ain't nobody talking to your small. Did you tell Earth that every year you try To move away from him a little? That ain't your friend Earth. She fake. Hey, chill out. This is for Earth to have fun, right? And don't say small. Pluto can hear you. You know Pluto don't understand. Look at him. Y'all stop. Y'all know he ain't been the same since they said he was a planet. Pluto. Pluto. Pluto. Look at me. Pluto. Look at me. >> Y'all.
Y'all look. Jesus. Is that you? >> This is he. >> He is walking on water. >> Is you walking on water? >> Water. Water. >> Water. >> Wait, is the fish kissing your feet? >> They might as well. Come on, Messiah. >> So, the man above is your dad. >> That's what I've been trying to tell for the longest. >> That's why I love you, Jesus. >> Whatever, Judas. >> Oh, what was that about? >> I don't know, child. But, um, show your hair, Jesus. Yeah. >> What you got, Jesus? >> Waste on [Applause] ones.
>> Let me get in there with you. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. >> I'm too innocent for this. Me, too. I feel dirty. What they doing? Maybe they Wrestling. Yeah, my money on her cuz she tearing him up. He look like she about to tap out. Hey, make them tap out. Tap out. Tap out. Tap out. Tap out. >> She need a new bed. It sound unhealthy. Yeah, she need new screws or something. I feel mistreated. When he came, she just threw us off the bed. Like, who is he? >> Mhm. Y'all, I didn't
know she had a dark side to her. Me neither. Make me want to Have a dark side. I Oh, what the hell was that? I'm supposed to be an axelotta. I don't know what kind of sound they make. She done took him out. She need a wrestling name. H entice. My question is how they get fire in water. That's what I'm saying. We ain't never did that before. I heard Nemo got burnt up over there. They got Nemo M and Marlin. Dory over there crying. Oh, she'll be all right. You know, she going to forget
anyway. >> I don't know about y'all, but I just want my babies to be safe. >> Oh, yeah. How the kids coming? >> Good. Good. Here go one right here. >> Ew. Ever since that fire, the water been a little hot. >> Yeah. >> Like I know it's hot girl summer up there, but not down here. >> Yeah, it's supposed to be wet winter. Oh, this is not what Glee had in mind when they said light up the world. Not my boy Goldie. Goldie, how it feel? >> It burns fire. [Laughter] >> Excuse me, ma'am.
We need you to go to the bat for this man, please. >> No. >> Oh, no. She did. She really just [Music] [Applause] see it. I know you see it. I'm like, "Oh, my name." [Music] >> What is y'all doing in here making all that noise? Wake the hell up. I know y'all not asleep. Who you feeling like? Nurse Johnson in that Fashion Nova. Yeah, where you going? Don't worry about it. I know by um 7:00 y'all better be winding down and getting ready to go to sleep. >> Nurse Johnson, my leg twisted up a
little bit. Can you help me? I know you see it. Will you guys be able to help my daughter? >> Girl, shut the [ __ ] up all that crying. >> Charlene, yes, we will try to help your daughter, but I do sense a very strong presence trying to take control of her. >> Help. Help me. Little Kim got my sandwich. >> Emily. Emily, please focus on the sound of my voice. >> I feel like I'm burning on the inside. >> Charlene, begin singing the hymn. >> The hymn. >> The hymn I told you to
remember. >> Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, God has smiled on me. >> Charlene, Charlene, that's not the him. Are you telling me you didn't practice the him? >> I smell your nappy [ __ ] [ __ ] I shaved this morning. First of all, >> Charlene, Gerald, I had stuff to do last Night. Like what? from the front. >> I was spreading the gospel day got [ __ ] to do with what's going on right now. >> Girl, do you have insurance? >> Oh, baby, that was some good stuff. >> I backed that
thing up, didn't I? >> You sure did. >> I'm a lean green thing. Let me bounce on that string bean. Okay, Nicki Minaj, >> I could be her, right? >> You sure could. >> All right, let me eat your head now. >> Huh? >> Let me eat your head. >> You mean you want to give me some head? >> No, I have to eat your head now. You got me pregnant. It's time for you to go. When did this become a thing? >> It's been a thing. When we mate, I have to eat your head.
>> You're not eating my head? >> Um, yes I am. I'm about to gobble that noggin. You're not about to eat my man. Your man? Yes. He actually is my man. >> What the hell? >> Oh, I see what's going on here now. I ain't never had a forsome deal. Nah, we about to have a four course meal. >> He thought he was about to have some coochie, but we about to have us a smoothie. He thought we was about to put it on him, but we about to put some pudding on. Ah, he thought
he was about to clap these cheeks, but we about to season This meat. [Music] >> You better watch your man out. I'm a bad [ __ ] You a sad [ __ ] He [ __ ] with a real chick, not average. >> Um, are you sending this to me? No. Are you sending it to yourself, >> girl? No, it ain't me either. Your man Apollo shot caller. You don't know what to do with all that. >> [ __ ] stop calling my phone, ho. >> He chose me. He don't want you. He chose Me.
Nanny boo. >> We need somebody to please help our kids. Please. I'll get the FBI involved. Um, the messages were sent by your wife. >> What? Yep. And she ain't got no damn job either. [ __ ] you got to get the [ __ ] up out of my house. I feel like that. We all do crimes and I just got caught, but we've all done something illegal. >> You steal my baby. That's my mama. And I'mma step beside Her. >> She I'm going to miss you, my precious baby. Give mama a kiss before I
drop you off. All right. I love you. What the [ __ ] Your mama let you kiss her in her mouth? Uh, yeah. That is my mom. Oh, our mama doesn't let us do all of that. Landa would tear our ass up, girl, if we ever thought about doing that. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't. That's your mom. She loves you. She wouldn't mind a little Lick. He could be right. Maybe we should try to do it. >> Tito. Tito, come here. Come here, Tito. It's our little brother. Tito, lick mama in her face when she
come get us. Oh my. My My apologies. He was adopted. Yeah, his little ass ain't never in a good mood. Well, anyways, just lick your mom. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind. >> Get your ass to that damn cam. All right. So, I called this meeting because I'm very proud that we make up The alphabet, but we need to establish how we spell ourselves. Oh, like how we spell our name. Yes. Yes. I'll go first. I'm A. So, I'll spell my name as A E. >> So, you Africanamean. Yep. Yep. Okay. Your turn. B. B
E E C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C E C E D E Wait a minute. All right. Now y'all, we got to start being original. Go ahead. E [ __ ] E E Go ahead. F um E F G G E E. This not going to work. [ __ ] You come All the way down here, I'm going to say Z E. And I'm damn sure going to say P E. Y'all making me seem like I'm a hoe. I'm not in
all of y'all names like that. V E. Y'all stop. Stop. What about you, W? I know yours. Unique. Spell your name. Yeah, spell your name. W D U B A Y u H. >> That [ __ ] Nigerian. >> So, we are here today to discuss your differences with each other. So, let's just cut to it. >> Yeah, let's just cut to it. Who is this? Who are you? I'm influencer or flu from Progressive. That's Flo. Same thing. And who are you? Do you even know who you are? cuz you change your name every year.
>> You know what? >> No, I don't know what. Miss Corona. Miss Delta. Miss what's the new one on me crying? It's I'm a crying. I'll be crying too if I had to change my name to keep a story line. But it's been Influenza since 1386. I'm not arguing with somebody that got Cheeto crumbs on them. And you got Taki crumbs on you trying to be just like me. I heard mother nature trying to make another me. >> Everything you getting, little ho is cuz of me. >> What you got? Me or him? >> I'm
pretty sure it's me. >> I actually just have a code. >> Oh, cuz I thought y'all said something. Hey cutie. I have nowhere to go. All by myself. Don't want to be all by myself. >> Come here, little guy. Why did you run? I I Here, I got some food for you. >> Is that Is that steak? Adopt me. Come home with me. I don't give a [ __ ] about you and Miumu [ __ ] You where Miumu can get it, [ __ ] All right. All right. I'm about to go get her and
we about to see how You bang, [ __ ] Get her cuz I promise you I ain't no puss. I ain't no puss. This Mufasa right here. Yeah, big. All right. You better keep that same energy with Miumu with me. >> Girl, don't nobody give a [ __ ] about Miumu. Raggedy ass that mu. You don't even got fur on your backside, [ __ ] Run out. Run out. Girl, is that a [ __ ] mouse? Girl, I think so. Ain't that why Kesha got us? So we could get rid of them. I think so.
But that thing look harmless. >> Girl, we better get up and do our job before we get kicked out. >> Oh yeah, I don't like Kha. But [ __ ] we need a home. I can't be no straight no more. Come on. >> Hey, we think it's best if you get the [ __ ] up out this. Y'all make this hard. Go ahead and get your little scrawny ass up out of this house. Okay. All right. I'm not going nowhere. Oh, what? You ain't >> [ __ ] You better get your ass out of this
[ __ ] house. Now, why you slapping? >> I've been living here for the longest. You're not going to tell me when to leave. Mosha, >> girl, you better get the slapping him too before you don't have a place to stay. Get out. Mosa, you ain't have to slap the cheese out his hand now. Girl, you think he dead now, Daddy? [Music] Rosa, what is you doing here? >> Sh they got >> Why? I know it wasn't that bus thing you was telling me about. >> Yes, it was. I told you I wasn't playing with
them again when I got on that bus. You got to tell me what happened. Yeah. I was sitting at the front. Some man came on. He said, "Back of the bus, ma'am." I said, "Huh?" He said, "Back of The bus, ma'am." I said, "Back of the bus?" He said, "Yes, back of the bus, ma'am." I said, "Well, you got to give me some coins if you want to see the back of these bus." Rosa, no you didn't. >> He flipped me, twisted me, and handcuffed me, and I was on my way home. Um, Miss Parks,
>> what? >> Your husband's here? >> Oh, how'd he get here? >> He drove here, obviously. >> Uh, you mean to tell me your man got a car and you was riding the bus and got arrested? What the hell? Where he get a car from, ma'am? I don't know. Please come on. The man got a car and he ain't never told me how he get a car. He probably riding around with some [ __ ] It better not be media. I know that. >> Why is everybody looking at me like they got something to say?
Earth, my baby. What? >> Should I say something, y'all? >> No, no, no, no, no. I got this Jupiter. I got this Earth. >> What? Uncle Neptune, we just want to know. Have you been out here [ __ ] >> What excuse? >> We just want to know. Have you been shaking your axes every which way, giving it to everybody that you could give to because we noticed that you've been tilting on your axes. You rotate with a limp. Now, >> now, that is not what I wanted to talk to. That is not what I
wanted to say. >> That is none of your business, Uncle Neptune. I was about to ask about the people on the submarine. Auntie, don't don't ask me nothing about them people. I have nothing to do with it. I did not tell them to take their asses down there to the ocean floor. Then why didn't you stop them, honey? Cuz I got gap. I got good gravitational ass. We need to put that on the shirt or something. We sure Do. You think they'll buy it? >> Yeah. And I don't know why you asking me. You need
to ask Moon. Moon's the one who control my ocean now. [ __ ] how you just going to throw me under the bus like that? >> Both of y'all are own punishment. >> What the hell was we supposed to do? I'm confused, right? Like you wanted me to shake the water off me. It was going to come back. We told you about the gap. We going to put that on the shirt. >> Yeah. What you doing? >> Minding my business. >> Oh, >> you got a little attitude, don't you? >> Can you leave me alone?
>> Okay. My question is why are you a smooth regular wall and I'm a big bumpy brick wall? >> Right. That just don't add up. These bricks making it seem like you in jail or something. I'm locked up. They won't let me out. I'm locked up. >> Child, where you going? >> Back that thing up some more, big daddy. Mhm. Uh-uh. >> Come back. Ooh. Why you walk like that? You bowlegged. >> Hell yeah. Bow-legged ass. >> They was getting on your nerves. Look, can you please >> calm down? I'm not like them. Calm down.
Okay. You bowlegged. No. >> Oh, my bad. Go and relax. >> You know your elbows kind of crispy and your fingernails are dirty. You know they say that means you a hardworking man. You digging [ __ ] or something? >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. He was he mad? >> Hey, there a free trial? >> Yeah. How long is it? >> Um, 7 days. 7 days. Oh, >> okay. I just, you know, wanted to try it out, you know. >> Enjoy yourself. Make yourself at home, but make sure you out of here by 7 days. Cuz
if you not, we got free permission to take your soul. >> Oh my gosh. Oh. All right. All right. >> Bethany, did you enjoy yourself? >> I actually did. I just got a few things to do on Earth and then I will be right back. >> So, you rather go to Earth than stay here? >> No, that's No, that's not it. >> Don't bring your ass back up here. Goodbye. >> Turn that junk up, bro. Go >> Chad Johnson. Chad Johnson, come here. Come here. Come here. >> We don't allow that type of music here.
If you not singing a hymn, playing Tasha Cob, Nicki Minaj, >> Nicki Minaj, she ain't no gospel artist. >> Beach house vibes maneuver the jet ski cuz I serve a god that partyion For all. You need to be worried about that old lady. Betty White, where is you going? >> My free trial. >> Hell no, it ain't. Girl, you is dead. Go to the side. Go to the side. And um what is your name? >> Timothy >> Shalom. >> No. Woodwick. >> Woodwick. Woodwick. Woodwick. Woodwick. Woodwick. It say right here that you didn't sign up
to have a free trial. >> I know. I use um Chad's account cuz he's my friend and he let me use his account. Oh, we don't allow that here. Oh, >> we don't allow that here. Yeah. >> Oh, >> your feet feel hot. >> Yeah, it do feel a little warm. >> Yeah, cuz you about to go to hell. Goodbye. >> It's right there. On your other side, Jack. On your other side. On your other side. Lord Jesus. Jack is right there. Girl, I've been smoking them referees. Them referees. Them referees tearing me up. You
mean Uhuh. I mean referee. Oh, that's how they get you. You got to be slick. Can we just hurry up and get this water? Mom is waiting on us back at the house. If she said we don't hurry up, we going to get kicked out the house again. You remember when we slept Outside last time? It was night and I could have sworn I seen Bill Cosby in the woods. >> You seen him? >> Yes. He was behind that tree over there. He said, "And I got so scared. I got so scared. Stop that. I'm
so serious. I all over the grass. There was an antill beside me and they looked so confused. They was like, "Sir, are you building another antill?" Cuz this is our property. It was just so awful. >> Help me carry this wall. Jack. Jack, you all right? Use your words. Come help me. I don't think I want to do that. Why? Cuz in the song it say I fall too. And this is Chief Bunch. There ain't no Chief Bunch. That's Get it for free. Come help. >> Freddy, >> what >> what you doing up in here?
I was in here to scare you, but I don't know what the hell is going on in your dream. Freddy. Freddy, I be trying to tell people that my dreams are random, but they do not believe me. Random as hell. I seen Mary J. Blah over there, and guess what she said to me? What? Pull up in the Monster Automobile Gangster. I said, Mary, what? She said, "I never [ __ ] Wayne. I never [ __ ] a drink." [ __ ] your own hair. >> And you know what's funny? >> What? >> I seen
Nikki over there. She said, "I'm Going down." [Applause] I'm telling you, my dreams get everything mixed up. >> Who is this? I guess a random person in my dream. Yes. Y think what? What? Y think? What the hell? What? Y think. Sir, sir, slow down. Yeah. Yeah. What? Your ass think my my ass stank and you just going to walk away. Girl, I got a [ __ ] child. Me too. And ain't no way I can use the bathroom out Here. I mean, we could go in the grass and use the bathroom. Girl, hell no.
What the [ __ ] We look like animals. You right. You right. Why would we even do that? That is so unclassy. What about that right there? Oh, a car. Yes. Yeah, but let's not [ __ ] on that Toyota. Let's find something like a Buick. Ooh, a Buick. Yes, let's find something like a Buick. Oh, girl, there go a Tahoe. Let's get that Tahoe. M. >> It's black and you know when we [ __ ] It's white and I feel like that's going to give the wrong impression. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, I see what
you saying. I see what you saying. They going to think we part of the K what they call it? The cool Kentucky crew. >> Right. Right. Right. And ain't [ __ ] Kentucky over here. >> Not at all. Not at all. Baby girl, what girl? Is that a Rolls-Royce? >> Child, I think we found our car. Come on, Man. What the Whoa, that felt good, girl. It sure did. I lost three lbs. Girl, I ain't never used the bathroom on the Rolls-Royce. >> Girl, that [ __ ] took us to a different tax bracket. Spaghetti.
H, how long you been in here? Um, [Laughter] I think I'm on my third month. Oh my gosh, Spaghetti. How long do you got in here? From the looks of it, I Think I got about like three more months, [ __ ] I'm surprised you are still in here because that's all they eat for dinner. Hey there, what you getting today? We got everything you need. We got some soda right here. We got some salad in the back. We got some celery at the bottom. We got some chicken in the freezer. What you need? Hey.
Yes. >> What we eating for dinner today? >> That spaghetti. >> Uh uh. Oh. Well, friend, bye. Girl, you know damn well I'm coming back. Uh-oh. He back. What? Why you look a little smaller, girl? You know they invited Big Juicy over here. >> Yeah, Big Juicy took me from two months to two weeks, [ __ ] [Music] The macaroni and cheese. Good. >> Mhm. Some good soul food. >> Thank you. Thank you. I made sure I did my best. >> You did? This must be early Thanksgiving or something. I like it. Here. You got
a nice roof, a fireplace. You even got paper plates. Yes, indeed. What's in them containers back there? Oh, that's my liquor. Oh, she be getting crunk. I wish our cousin shorts that found failed you when he got lost in the woods. Really? >> Yes. It was just awful. He just ran in the woods and our couldn't find him no more. He was just so skinny and frail. Well, I really hope he okay. You guys got to escape. How did you get out the oven? >> Short said that's you. Short said you done gain some weight.
Go ahead now. That ain't short. That's Hey. She tried to cook me. Just eat your macaroni. Hell no. I don't want this macaroni. I do. Come on. We about to go follow these bread crumbs back. Y'all go ahead. I'mma eat some more. Follow and pick up the bread crumbs. One, two, three. Short Stack. Go ahead. She said she got chicken salad. I'mma stay a little bit. >> I wish you would stop crying. >> Shut up. You think I ain't scared, too? Shoot. Where is she at? >> I'm right here, friends. What is going on, >>
girl? We tried to um do witchcraft to get back at our boss for firing us and we [ __ ] up. Uhuh. Calm down. Calm down. You did Witchcraft and you [ __ ] up. What's going on, >> girl? We got a whole demon following us right now. Look, I'm going to suck y'all souls. I'm going to suck them so good. Oh [ __ ] Get in the car. Get in the car, y'all. >> Now, why would y'all do witchcraft? I just wanted my job back. What the [ __ ] What was that? >> Oh
yeah, child. Ever since we finished the spell, he been doing this. I don't Know. Uh-uh. You about to get the hell out my car. >> No. Please don't put me on the road. >> You about to get the hell out my car. I think he trying to hold in a demon or something. I don't >> It is not funny. Demon is [ __ ] him up. So you telling me you can't find nowhere into this house? I checked everywhere. I look for cracks. I look for holes. I cannot find nothing. Child, we need to Find
some way in. It is cold as hell out here. Right, Lisha. Ladisha, what? You ain't found no way inside yet? I thought I found a little crack in this window, but it got some coke in it. And yeah, [ __ ] they don't want us up in there. [ __ ] we going to freeze out here, right? And look at him. He acting like he don't see us trying to get in. Excuse me, sir. Sir, go fly in front of the screen, though. Maybe he'll let you in if he see you. >> All right, sir.
Sir, sir, let us in. Please, because we'll pay some rent. We'll help you pay rent, right? And I got food stamps. I'll help pay for groceries. Yes, please, sir. Cuz we is homeless and we are not trying to go to the Salvation Army. >> Is that a ladybug on my window? Get get off my window. >> Oh, girl, you seen that? >> Hell yeah. >> Knock me off that window. Hey, that's How you treat the homeless. Shall we might need to go to the Salvation Army for real? Yeah. Come on, y'all. Cuz the weather outside
is definitely frightful. Dang, big bird. What you in here for? I didn't even see you for a sec. >> How did you not see his big ass? >> All right, not too much. I got into it with Barney. I beat the hell out of him. Now I got assault and battery charges. What about you, Cookie Monster? Cookie Monster was selling more than just cookies. >> Uh-uh. Elmo >> child. I was selling my body. >> Yep. I was in math class trying to help the kids pass. Next minute I was on Sesame Street giving Oscar the
Grouch a piece of my ass. >> Why don't we sing the kids a song, y'all? >> Yeah. Go ahead and leave. [Music] >> Can I get a win? down. [Music] [Applause] >> Boy, shut the hell up. This supposed to be a blues song. You in gospel. [Laughter] You can't breathe. Look at him. He over there wheezing, [ __ ] Oh, you just thought you was going to blow this one down, huh? You ain't blowing [ __ ] over here. You might as Well go mess with Lil Red Riding Hood. Thank you, brother, for letting us
come over here. Oh, y'all welcome. Y'all welcome. Y'all just need to start paying some rent. Oh. Oh, y'all thought y'all was just going to come over here for free? I mean, well, yeah, you are, bro. It don't work like that. This rent $30 a month. I need $10 from the both of you. $10? That's what I said. What if I ain't got it? I mean, I got you. All you got to do is just come out here so I can hand you the money. I mean, if you don't go out there, you're getting kicked out
anyway. So, you're kind of [ __ ] up. >> Here you go. >> Uhoh. >> Oh, wow. He didn't even attack you. That was some real [ __ ] [ __ ] >> Yeah, man. R ain't no joke. I know. >> Trick or treat. Smell my feet. I got a Big fat ass for you to eat. And if you don't, I don't care. Bring my back and pull my head. Smell my feet. I got a big fat ass for you to eat. And if you don't, I don't care. Break my back and pull my hair.
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. She funky. I ain't too much like that. It was definitely a odor there. Yeah. Oda. It It was sour. >> Yeah. Like buttermilk. She coming back down. She coming back down. Happy Halloween. >> I hope they gave her some pineapple in that cranberry juice or something. Michael Myers ain't going to want to get hell no. >> PH balance was just unbalanced. N that that jump was unspeakable. >> That was scary. >> Yes, it was. They need to make a horror movie about that. >> What they going to call me? >> Fish. [Laughter]
Oh. Oh, it's 5:00. Hey. Hey. Come here. Come here. Come here. >> What the hell are you screaming for? >> Come on. I got to go over there to China, baby. It's time for you to clock in. Uh, I don't clock in until like 7 or 8. Baby, I don't know what you talking about. Girl, hey, come back. Come back. Son, son, son, you need to calm the [ __ ] down. Why is you Doing all this screaming? >> I don't know if they told you, but it's daylight savings time now. And our shifts done
changed. Now go ahead and bring your little ass over here so I can make my way over there to Asia. >> Come back. Come back. Asia don't need you that bad. Who needs you right now is America. We need all the light we could get. Did you not see who won the election last night? Girl, that [ __ ] ain't got nothing to do With me. I told them to get their asses out there and vote. Child, but I got to go, baby. Son. Son. Son. Oh my god. Shut the hell up. You know what?
Hold on. I'mma call my Hold on. Hold on. I got something for you, [ __ ] I got something for you. Hello, >> Red. Little Red Riding Hood. What's up? >> Pull the [ __ ] up right now. What? Wait, calm down, Goldie. What happened, girl? I just got jumped. >> Jumped? >> I I got jumped by who? By who? By the three Little Bears. Uh-uh. Uhuh. >> Yes, they jumped me, child. I was walking in the woods and I seen they had their house open. So [ __ ] if you didn't want me to
go in your house, you should never never let the door go on. >> Goldie, I know you didn't walk into these people house. And what did you do? >> Girl, I started eating their food. Goldie, I know you didn't. Yep. They had some porridge. And I started eating it and they caught me. And I told the mama, I said, "Girl, your porridge cold as hell. Your husband porridge got my coochie sweating. And your son porridge just [ __ ] right." And I tore that [ __ ] out. Go. Yep. And I'm about you better come.
You better come because I'm about to line these [ __ ] up and show them why the [ __ ] I ain't nobody to [ __ ] to play with. Goldie, >> you know I just love humans that care about the animal king, too. Girl, thank you for saving us from that flea market. I was so scared. But you came and saved the Oh. Oh. Oh, y'all. She making us a bow. >> I know. That's right. We in a luxury hotel. Okay. >> Okay. >> Oh, it's bubbling, y'all. Girl, you got us a jacuzzi. Oh,
she love us cuz you know jacuzzi's not cheap. >> Hell no, girl. How much you pay for this jacuzzi? >> Oh, girl, she put Epsom salt in the jacuzzi. Go ahead. That's right. Girl, I don't even got arthritis and you giving us Epsom salt. Now that that's a good one. That sure is. Girl, you lucky I'm not human. I would take you to pound 10. What brand of Epsom salt that is? That's Dr. T. >> Let me see. Let me see. >> No, it say Morton. Yeah. Man, I ain't Never heard of that brand before.
Oh. Oh, she picking me up, y'all. She picking me up. >> You about to be in that jacuzzi. >> I can't wait to join you. >> Oh. Oh. Oh. She is enjoying the jacuzzi. >> That jacuzzi must feel real good. Hell yeah. She started screaming for joy. How that jacuzzi feel? >> It's burning. >> Oh, >> didn't I say clean your room? I was Going to. No, you wasn't. You was going to sit here and play that damn game. Get your ass up. Oh my god. He my guy too. Keep playing with me and we
both going to see him. Man, I you you wet. You wet, Jermaine. You wet. What? You was going to hit me. You was going to hit You know what? I'mma pretend like that didn't happen. When I come back here in 10 minutes, this room better be clean, man. Mommy, [ __ ] you. Mommy, [ __ ] you. Mommy, [ __ ] you. Mommy, [ __ ] you. Mommy, [ __ ] you. Germaine, I know. Oh, don't let me come up here. Man, shut up. [ __ ] you. Shut up. Germaine, you better hump. I break
and fall down these. >> Mommy, [ __ ] you. >> Shut up. Now, now say what you said. Mommy, [ __ ] you. >> Oh, I bet you wish you didn't get this damn parrot. Honey, what's going on? What's going on? >> Your son ain't got the nerve to cuss me Out. >> No, ain't >> I'm so glad I cheated on my wife. >> Who is that? I'm so glad I cheated on my wife. >> That damn thing was getting on my nerves. Oh, child. That was a good nap, girl. >> Oh my god. [
__ ] what the [ __ ] is wrong with you? >> I can't feel my body. You can't feel your body. What's going on, >> [ __ ] I feel tingly. I can't move. >> Oh my god. I told you stop doing that crick, righty? I told you stop doing that crick. Tell the legs. I said I love them, but I don't feel good. >> Oh my god. If he don't wake the [ __ ] up, wake the [ __ ] up. We got to call the goddamn ambulance. >> No, I'm not going to make
it. >> You got to I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Why? Why? >> Tell them that it's human nature. Why? Why do you do me that way? And I say, why? Why? Tell them. Oh. Oh, [ __ ] I'm fine. Oh, [ __ ] I thought I was going to have to be amputated, girl. Me, too. I thought we was going to have a prosthetic or something, but okay. No, girl. Cuz I really thought I was overdosing. Brain. >> What? [ __ ] what is wrong with you, girl? I do not
know. I cannot get right. I'm trying to See what he doing out there, but but the screen's so damn blurry. Child, he must be drinking because I am full up right now. I think he was drinking some XXL earlier. >> Oh, [ __ ] We about to be tow up. [ __ ] girl. I feel good. I don't know. I don't He need to eat some bread or something. I feel nauseous, you know. I really do love you guys. I really love you guys a lot. Y'all make my day. Oh, here this [ __ ]
go. >> Why you always getting in your feelings? It's not my fault. That alcohol be doing something to me. Girl, [ __ ] up. [ __ ] up. Don't do me. Y'all know I'm slurring my words now. Chill. >> Baby, I love you. >> Baby, I need you. He just pissed on himself. Let me tell you what just happened in the garden of Eden. What? So I went up in there disguised as a snake, right? To be nosy, right? >> Yeah. So I seen Eve. You know Eve? >> Yeah. One of the hummus. The hummus.
So I thought it would be fun to play a little prank on her. So I said, "Ey E." I said, "Come eat this apple. It'll give you nice hair, clear skin, a good pH balance, and all that." No, you didn't. She said, "Well, I want a bigger derriè." I said, "Well, you won't need a BBL if you eat this apple." Guess what she did? Ate that apple. Her Adam ate that apple. And they was Like, "Oh my gosh, we naked. We naked." God came to Adam. He said, "Who told you you was naked?" Adam said,
"Eve." He went to Eve. He said, "Who told you you was naked?" Eve said, "That snake." Sorry to be a snitch. I said, "Oh, you bitch." Man, God looked at me and he said, "Snake." I looked at him. I said he act like that's going to affect you. Right. You being kicked me out. I being homeless. What's that going to do? I'm back. What they say? They told me no. Wow. >> Saying the country club don't allow animals. I said we a package deal. Everywhere I go, he go. That's what Mother Goose said. Mary had
a little lamb who fle was white as snow. Everywhere the child went, the lamb was sure to go. I was on the block one day selling dough like a pro. Here come Miss Peggy saying she'll pay me for four. Go ahead. I said, "Oh no, no more like a f With a zero." So I caught that lick with my blick and I said it's time to go. You still got it. I still got it. You the next Mary J. Blah. I'm telling you, Mary J Blige don't rap. Oh, I mean the next Mary Mary. Go
get Go get Go get Go get Go get Go get your blessing. [Music] >> I told you to stop that. You know I can't help it. It's maiden season. Oh, you trying to catch you a good thing? >> Yeah. >> Hey, let me holl at you real quick. Uh-uh. It's your time. >> All right, Mary. All right. Uh-uh. Don't get too happy. I was just hyping you up. Calm down. If he don't come on and eat us, >> right? He need to hurry up. I'm turning Africanamean. Girl, you turning Africanamean. Yeah. You don't see all
this melanin growing on me? >> Yeah, I see it. If he let one more day go by, I'mma start having to raise my fist up, [ __ ] One more day go by, you can start saying the n word. Child, I'm halfway there. I'm about to just start saying [ __ ] Next week, I'mma add the g. Oh, there he go, y'all. Oh. Oh, child. He He acting like he don't want this potassium, right? You better come get you some of this, child. He over there eating the apple. Well, y'all know what They believe in.
They say a apple a day keep the doctor away. Well, suck a banana don't go to Atlanta. That's what he going to sound like if he don't get this test. Girl, what is this? Uhuh. What is this? Girl, I hope it ain't crack. I don't think it's crack. I think it's fish flakes since when they start giving us fish flakes and those I don't know but [ __ ] maybe we got EBT [ __ ] because I'm about to eat it and see what it Tastes like. Go ahead, [Music] girl. What it taste like? Child,
it tastes like a old black lady. A old black lady. Mhm. So that mean it's season. Come over here and go get you some. Girl, I know we ain't eating somebody asses. Girl, they over here dropping old [ __ ] in the ocean. How old you think she was? >> This give 81. We need some A1. Go ahead and drop the grandpa next. H. [Applause] >> Oh, thank you, Jesus. Cuz I was about to die, >> girl. I was drier than the Sahor deors. Woo! I feel refreshed now. Me, too. I just needed some hydration.
One of us going to die one day. Don't say that. It's true. No, it ain't. Don't say that. Oh, here comes some More. Here come some more. Oh. What the hell? That is not H2O. It was Don. Julio, what is you drinking liquor at 3:00 a.m. in the morning for? Stop. You know he got problems. He about to have some more problems cuz when I shut down this old I heard you only need one kidney anyway. So he Okay. >> Oh [ __ ] Hey. Hey. We need to go to the hospital. Girl, that Julio
almost took me out. >> Oh my gosh. What is the hold up? Right. That's what I'm saying. We supposed to be in the sewers by now. It's cuz of that big [ __ ] right there. Who? Who you calling a big [ __ ] You big big pile of [ __ ] [ __ ] No. Like you're holding us up. We're all trying to get out the bowels right now. Who going to move me? Which one of y'all going to move me? Oh, okay. I'm not fighting that big [ __ ] Me neither. Sometimes you
just need to know when you Going to get your ass whooped, >> right? And this is one of them times. You got it, Big Dookie. We ain't [ __ ] with you, >> child. Imagine getting your ass whooped and you in the ass, girl. >> All right. All right. All right. What's going on here? >> Who are you? >> I'm laxative. >> Oh, that's laxative, girl. Oh, this is me right here. Still laughing right There. Him right there. Him right there. Hey yo, move out the way. Who going to move me? Who going to move
you? Hold on. >> Oh [ __ ] >> [ __ ] I told you mother. [ __ ] [Music] >> [ __ ] we going to need a douche or something. >> Come in. Hey, girl. Hey girl, where at? You know what I'm here for. He right here. Sleep. Ooh, that's a big head. >> 20 lb. 20 lb. >> Oh, you needed a C-section. No, I pushed that out. >> Damn. I [ __ ] it on myself about three times. >> That's why that little brown stain right there. I thought so because it's that specific
area that's stanking a little bit. Stanking ass. Uh, you know, Disha had her twins. >> She did? >> Yeah. I went to go visit her. >> She dropped both her eggs. >> Uhhuh. >> Yep. Yep. I called DSS immediately. >> You should have seen it. It was yolk all everywhere. I slipped on the membrane. [ __ ] I told Da to scramble her eggs. She ain't ready to be no mama. >> Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. >> Oh my god. He's adorable. Mhm. Come here, babe. Yes, I need DSS at 231
part drive. So, what do you think you can bring to the table? Well, um I'm a good worker. I'm a fast worker, matter of fact. Oh, I see. God bless you with some speedy hands, I see. Oh, God. No. Anyways, um we will give you a call back as soon as we can. Um I'm pretty sure you got the job. Your record is spotless like the pearly gates of heaven. Um, you can go now. It was a pleasure meeting You. God bless you. God isn't real. >> I don't like that. Go. This is a house
of God and waffle friends. I don't like that. >> What did you say? God isn't real. >> Get them out of here. >> You got to go. >> You ever been jumped by 50 Christians at once? >> Let me throw a script. >> I got this, Beverly. I suggest you don't say that anymore. We Will beat you down so bad you'll throw up holy water while we turn it into wine and drink it while you [ __ ] rosary beads. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Come on, child of God. Don't play with
it. God ain't real. Go get the biscuits. >> But sir, >> go get the damn biscuits, Beverly. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Hit that ass in the name of Jesus. Girl, you all right? You need to stop breathing so hard. It's getting hot. Oh, you're snotting. You don't got to eat me if you don't want to eat me. You like green apple, don't you? That's what this is. You don't want watermelon. You want that green apple. Get her green apple, y'all. >> We only got watermelon in the pack. >> They only got watermelon. Oh, she
ain't like that. Look, here come your mama with some water. Yeah. Give Her some water, Leslie. Give her some water. >> Baby, I need I need you to drink this. Okay. Come on. Come on. >> She don't want the water, Leslie. Leave her alone. Leave her alone now. Ru, you don't want nothing. What's wrong? >> She going through withdrawal. She going through withdrawal. What? >> She's going through withdrawal. >> Oh, she ain't got no money, >> man. Nah, she used to be a addict. Oh, She addicted to the money. I love that. No, she used
to be an addict. You know, peel, snip, sniff, all that. Oh, come here. Why you sitting all the way over there? >> Come here. Why you so far away? Come here. Mm- I'm not going to possess you or nothing. You trying to play hard to get with all them stains on your shirt. >> It's bleach. >> Stop looking away from me. Look at me. >> Your plan. Look at me. Look at me. Come here. Wow. You might hurt me. I ain't going to hurt you, baby. >> You better get back in that closet, >> man.
It's plenty of room in here. >> I know. It's a walk-in closet. That's what it said on the lease. So why you ain't put no clothes up in here then? >> Cuz I know your ass up in there, >> man. Ain't nobody going to possess your Clothes. >> I know you not you want me to possess and caress. >> [ __ ] >> Oh [ __ ] >> Welcome to the world, son. Uh-uh. I did not ask to be a giraffe. I asked to be a flamingo. I got to call reincarnation services again. >> Son,
you don't want to be a giraffe? No, I don't want to have a long neck. Why? Cuz it make me feel like a hoe. Well, Baby, that's just your insecurity. >> I ain't got no insecurity, ho. >> Reincarnation services. How can I help you today? Yes, I'm calling because y'all got my order wrong again. I just fell 50 ft from a vagina of a leopard horse. >> You will not call me a leopard horse. I would like to be a flamingo. I do not want to have a long neck like this. Okay, sir. Well, just
let me check your account. Um, you are aware that Flamingos have long necks, too, right? Don't get smart with me, [ __ ] Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. Well, it seems right here that your Instagram in your past life was Deepth Throat 31. Deep Throat 31. [ __ ] 31. Yes, sir. No, my Instagram name was Mr. Put It on 41. M. Error, sir. It was [ __ ] 31. So, we gave you a deep throat to accommodate for your username. >> You You going to be hearing from my lawyers? >> That's okay, Mr. Deep Throat
31. Is there any? >> All I'm saying is I am with y'all. I am with y'all. Cuz at the end of the day, they call me monkey too. >> They call you monkey. >> They call me monkey. >> Bona. You believe this fool? >> I don't know. I think we should make them say something and monkey to find out. I got you. Ooh. Ooh. E E I I. >> Ah. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. >> I told you. You know George. Um, Big CG. Curious George. That's my homeboy. >> Ah, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
So you don't like humans either, >> man. No. I seen y'all in that zoo. I just felt so bad for y'all. >> So why you ain't let us out? Why you ain't let us out? >> Huh? >> Why you ain't let us out? >> Oh, cuz I couldn't find the keys, child. I couldn't find the keys. I do have a question though. And don't hurt me cuz I know how y'all like to wear bandanas and go bananas. But uh why y'all chose my yard? We seen you have a Prius. Anyways, we seen you have a
Prius. Uh-huh. >> But no, but what's wrong with you? I like Priuses. >> Did you know that Harriet would threaten slaves that got tired or wanted to go back to their plantation? I don't Understand what you're saying, >> Miss Harriet. We just getting tired. We can't go no more. I want to go back. My ankles hurt and I hungry. >> So, you want to go back? >> Yes, please, Miss Harriet. >> This is just too much. Y'all some weak [ __ ] Miss Harriet, y'all want to go back and get your back blown out? Miss
Harriet, we just t >> Do y'all want to go back and get your Backs blown out? >> No, we don't. But it's better. I can blow y'all back out way better than them. I got a strap. Excuse me. What strap are you talking about, Miss? This [ __ ] got a gun. Miss Harriet, let's talk about this. Nah, y'all want to go back? Y'all can go back, but it's going to be laying on your back. Miss Harriet, you going to shoot us. We are one of you. [ __ ] that. If you was one of
me, you would want to be free. She ain't Going to shoot us for real. Y'all want to go back? >> Wait in the water. Wait in the water, children. Wait, [Laughter] >> child. Every time fall roll around, they always want to adopt us, right? And always want to give us makeovers. What is pumpkiny ass? I don't know, but they taking a long ass time. I'm ready to see Our girl. Me, too. I hope they don't turn me into no jacko [ __ ] Oh, I don't want to be no jacko, baby. I don't like getting
cut up and twisting and opening my guts and stuff. >> Oh, girl, that sounded freaky, right? Hold on. I might want to be a jacko'lantern, [ __ ] Hey y'all. Girl, girl, what happened to you? Girl, they turned me into some pumpkin pie. >> Oh [ __ ] >> What the [ __ ] >> I didn't know they could turn us into no pie. >> Yeah, he said he was going to eat me up. >> Oh, I don't want to be no Jackalena no more. >> Me neither. >> I'm trying to be a pie. Right.
This [ __ ] become a pie. She got a man within 40 seconds. >> Oh, Girl, he's spooning her already. Mean, where am I? >> Who are you? >> Welcome to the world, brother. >> Brother, you telling me I got reincarnated as a snail? >> Reincarnated? >> Yeah, I just died like 2 seconds ago. I didn't have no water with my biscuit I was eating. >> Well, welcome to your next life, >> a snail. Are you serious? >> What's wrong with being a snail? >> Oh, nothing. I just didn't think. >> So, what you thought
you was going to come back as? >> I don't know. I thought I was coming back as something majestic or something. Thought I was coming back as a dolphin. Boy thought he was coming back as a flamingo or something. Yeah, I would have been a good little flamingo, but I come back as a snail. Stop. We can do a Lot of things. Like what? A lot of things. Like what? Shut the hell up, child. What are they doing up there? Oh, look down. Look down. What? They playing ring around the rosie? No, they doing the
nasty. That's what they doing. Oh, lay your head on my pillow. It feel good out here, Charliz. I think I'm about to take me a little walk. All right. Where Charlie at? I'm over here. Oh, my girl Charlotte in the pool. You know that's what I do. I love me some Charlotte. It's such a good day and everybody happy except Roffus. Oh, Roffus been mad since the day he came. Look at him. He might got worms. Roffz. You look nice sitting in that chair. Remind me of Bernie Sanders. I love that. Oh, he he don't
get your humor. >> Yes. I'm here to pick up my pug, Benny. >> Oh, yes, of course. He's right here. Hi, cutie pie. >> Now, she know that dog ugly. Stop. I'm being so serious, Max. Benny ain't cute and he stank. I don't think they watch him. Yo, no. Like, for real. Stop. Every time I look at him, he just he what? He boom. >> All right. I want this to be a clean conversation cuz we got kids watching. >> What's up, co numbers? What's up with you? >> Oh, nothing. I just heard you talking
a lot online, so I'm here. Yeah, I'm here. I don't care to talk to a bundle of red Pubic hair. A bundle of red pubic hair? Yeah, Barney, I will beat you to extinction. I want you to run up. I want you to run up. [Music] Ugly run up. >> [ __ ] you calling me ugly. You think you're cute. You think you cute? The [ __ ] >> You know what? I think your time is way overdue. My time overdue, Bernie. I'm Out here making moves and I'm only 3 years old. I've been on
Vogue. Can we display that, please? >> Yes, sir. >> Yeah. Stop playing with me. Repping SS in the building. >> Sesame Street, you already know what it is. What's good? Calm down, Ernie. I got this. Oh, cuz this squeaky duck was about to be across that stage. I bet you won't do something. Don't be scared, Ernie. Throw it. You know sometimes you just got to know when you going to get your ass beat. >> Hello. Yeah. You called us because you said your son was possessed. Oh. Oh, yes. You're the exorcist. >> Yes, I'm Pastor
Gerald. That's Sister Charlene. We here to check the demon, you know, prep. >> Sister Charlene. Uhoh. Uh-uh. My bad. My bad. That is unprofessional. I'll repent. I'm sorry. She my new apprentice. Can we come in? >> Of course. He's right there. >> Demon. >> Oh, hell no. Gerald. Charlene. Come back here. Come back. Gerald. I said hell no. >> Charlene, you cannot just leave. I'm sorry. Like I told you, she knew. Hell no. >> Gerald, what you want me to do? I need you to pray while we get this statement out. Dick. This is beyond
my pay grade. [Laughter] We did that. I was just about to say we Did that. I was about to I was about to start dancing too. Hello. >> I am stuck in the chimney. You stuck? >> Yes. And I don't know what to do. Well, you need to wiggle. We out here waiting on you. I've been wiggling and I smell my cookies and I want some. >> Well, I don't know what to tell you, Nick. You want me to >> What's up, my little small chocolate thing? Let me take you out to dinner. >> No,
thank you. And who was that? Child, that was Bliss. And you know it's m season. They think I'm in heat. My feet dangling out. I'mma try to um Santa. >> Oh, I hear a kid. Oh, the kid done took my shoes. Rudolph, what's wrong with you? >> He tickling my feet. >> Hold on. I made some noises to scare him away. >> Wait, what sound a damn deer make? >> Help me. >> That's a horse. >> Well, I don't know. Um, [Music] what the was that? I don't know. Hello. Hey child. We here to sing
you some Christmas carols. >> Oh yes, of course. Let me call my son Timothy. Timothy, come here. They're about to sing us Christmas carols. >> Ooh, yay. >> Frosty Was a king with what he sold. He sold ace for a 80. Nothing was zero. And he also was pushing cocoa. Santa baby, roll up the tree with me, please. We got that good we baby tonight. On the 12th day of Christmas, my deadbe daddy gave me 12 therapy sessions. 11 miss calls for money. 10 new siblings. Nine, I'm busy text. Eight, where your Mama at? Seven,
I'm coming to see you. >> $6 bills. Five chains from Sheen. >> Get the [ __ ] off my porch. >> Germaine, what? Mama, you need to come do these dishes and you need to finish that essay. >> Bro, like I I will mama, I told you I'm hanging with my friend real quick. Well, I need you to hurry up and come do these dishes and finish that essay. >> What's her problem, bro? >> All right. All right. You let her boss You around like that? >> I'm the one who run this house. >> Oh,
you do? >> Yeah. She swear cuz she grown and she my mama, she can tell me what to do. But I'm getting older. I do what I want on my time. I'm not just going to be doing it when you tell me to do it. >> Right. Right. That's what I'm talking about, bro. >> Jermaine. >> Bro, I said I'll do them in a minute. >> That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah. >> Nobody keep talking to me like that, bro. >> Get your ass like I told you and go
use athor.com to finish that essay. It's a AI tool that helps generate killer essays and write amazing academic papers that save your time and nerves. >> All right, Christopher, the holidays are Coming up and I want you on your best behavior. You're being watched. All right, >> I know, Mom. >> Okay, good. Love you. What you looking at on that phone? >> What? Well, you act like you didn't understand me, so I spoke a different language. I hope Google Translate said the right thing cuz you know they don't be saying the right thing sometime. I
had to get it from there. What you looking at on that phone? >> Nothing. >> You lying watching you. I seen something nasty on there. Open it. >> Open it again. >> Oh, you just a freak. Let me see. >> I can't believe you looking at Shakira. You a fan of her? >> Yeah. >> What's your favorite song? >> Oh, baby. when you talk like that. >> Hey, I won't tell your mama. I won't tell her. Hey, pastor. How are you? >> Hello. How are you? >> I'm doing good. So, what you call me in
here for? I'm getting a promotion in the church or something. Sister Darlene, I want you to turn on the TV for me, would you? [Applause] Sister Darling, what is this? >> I was shaking it in the name of the Lord. You were popping that cootie for the devil, pastor. I would never. I swear. Then what is this? Sister Darling, what is this? Going around and around and around and around and around and around and around. What is this, pastor? You are taking this way out of context. You're off the praise team. Do you not know
how much hard work I put in to get that position? Get out. [Music] >> Throw that in a circle. Throw that in a circle. Throw that. You know, I can show you in person instead of you watching it on the video. >> Get out. Catch me at the service. >> Don't Don't look back. Just keep going. But that was our brother. [ __ ] him. Keep going. So y'all just gonna leave me? >> Hell yeah. Y'all keep going. I can't leave him. The hell you preach? You better come on. See, look. >> Y'all are so
fake. Y'all are so fake. >> Oh, he about to get that ass ate up. That's when I'm going to stand up. Take my brothers with me. Together we are going to a brand new home. >> Far across the river. Do you hear freedom calling me to answer? Going to keep on keeping on. I could feel it in my bones. >> I did it. I'm the only survivor, but I did it. Good morning, America. Damn, [ __ ] She ain't the land of the free and brave no more. >> Girl, I could have sworn you was
going to look like a Smurf this morning. Me too, but baby, you look angry as hell. Babe, look. It's giving Spider-Man, [ __ ] No. What is y'all going to do? America, >> girl, I I I just don't know no more. I don't >> Girl, don't tell them to come over here. We ain't got no room, right? It's a border. >> Uhuh. Hold on. I know that ain't Georgia Red. I know you [ __ ] Chad. Them Maka Maka babies weren't playing. >> So, tell me a little about your son. Oh, he's quite the character.
Um, When he was born, did you know he was 10 lb? >> 10 lb? >> Yeah. Big baby. Big baby. Big baby. >> Um, I almost didn't think I could deliver him, but then next thing you know, he just came sliding right out. Yeah, it was I just remember it was the best time of my life seeing his little face. >> And how long has he been in the army? About four years now. I I miss him all The time. I I still haven't gotten to see him yet. So, it's just like when am I
going to see my baby, you know, but I'm I'm patiently waiting. So, your son told me to send this recording to him. So, do you have anything to say? >> Baby, I miss you. Hurry up and come back home. Mama misses you. And he also told me to tell you to turn around. >> Turn around. >> I'm home. I'm home. Oh [ __ ] What the hell, [ __ ] How do you feel, >> my baby? >> Oh, okay. She got to stop that. I think she's happy. A 9 10 11 12 13. America, what
is you doing over there? Girl, it's tax season. I'm giving some people some money back, but I'm really getting a whole bunch of money back. Sh. America, you is a scammer. Child, I got to do what I got to do. No, you did not. Girl, you know that's my battle cry. [Music] Your money. But anyways, America, you so worried about tax season and where's my money that you owe me? America, you still in debt? Hell yeah. I ain't giving y'all [ __ ] Oh my gosh. America, you really is a scammer. She is. [ __
] you keep playing with me. I'mma call the IRS. Oh, China, please. They work for me, ho. Well, they about to work for some young hoe if you don't pay me my goddamn Money. America, you better be careful. Don't you get all your stuff from them? Girl, I don't care about them clothes. We'll go naked over here. >> I love you. I love you, too, Juliet. You ready? >> Yeah. All right, girl. What? What is you doing? >> Oh, you you want to go first? Why did you bring a knife in this cave? So me
and you both can off ourselves. That was the agreement. >> No the [ __ ] it wasn't. >> Yes, it was. You said, "Let's go to the cave and be dead." >> I said, "Let's go to the cave so you can give me some head." That's what I said. >> Oh, no. No. No. You know what I heard? >> Well, that's not what you heard because I'm not doing that. >> I bet if I was another hoe, you would be on that floor dead right now. >> Juliet, don't stop. Why? >> Put the knife down,
[ __ ] >> Why you scared? You scared, >> Juliet? Stop. Damn. >> I knew I should have brought Julius in this cave with me. I would have been halfway to heaven by now. Julius was a real [ __ ] >> Hold on. Hold on. Caesar, >> that's what I say, man. Hand me the knife. Oh, you about to do? >> Yep. Come on. Three, two, go. >> Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm scared, too. You ain't no real [ __ ] >> Ch. What? What is that? I don't know. I ain't
never seen nothing like that before. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. >> Don't talk, baby. That look like the [ __ ] that be in the sky. Oh, yeah. It do. Excuse me, sir. What the hell? What the hell? What? That [ __ ] just spit me. Oh, hell no. Let me call the chief. But he say he eat he eating. He eating. He said he on his way, baby. Oh, okay. Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe that thing just bit you. Hell yeah. And my hand stinging. Uh-oh. It might be poisonous, [
__ ] Uh-uh. Don't say that. Suck the poison out. Suck the poison. Don't do that, baby. Mm- >> Oh my god. You supposed to be my best friend. You better do what we did at the beach. Remember when you got stung by that jello? The jellyfish? Yeah, the jellyfish. You better pee on that thing, baby. >> Oh my god. >> I can't believe you bit my friend. Stupid. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hit that hoe. Hit that hoe. What? What did you do? I I hit it to the tree and that hoe got bigger. Hey y'all. What's
up? What the They'll be singing over yonder. Oh, what? Why is there so many of y'all up here? Uh, yeah, we got hit by a meteor and it took us all out. Uh-uh. >> Yeah, >> a meteor. >> Yeah, let me go talk to God real quick. God, did you send a meteor to Earth? No, I sent that to Mercury. No. No, God. You sent that to Earth. No, I didn't. God, there's a whole bunch of dinosaurs at the gates of heaven waiting to get in right now. Swear to God. Oh. Oh, you not playing.
Yeah. >> Come on. Hey y'all. What happened? A meteor came out of nowhere and took us all out. Why did you just send them all to hell? Gabriel, we do not have room for 4 million dinosaurs up here. Uh-uh. Don't answer that phone. Let it ring. Why? That's Satan. I know he mad as hell right now. I'll be mad, too. You said 4 million dinosaurs to me, >> son. Well, I just got some questions because I realize I don't got the strongest gravitational ass [ __ ] in This solar system. You got the strongest gravitational
ass [ __ ] in this solar system because we all be following you. And where the hell do you be leading us to? That is a good question, son. Where do you be leading us to? We just be floating through space. Where are we going? We following you. Yeah, Mercury, you the closest one. How about you tell us like what's going on? Child, I just mind my business and stay as close to the sun as I can. Yeah, but like what's The history? Well, one day I was just floating through space and then I seen
a big bright light in the distance. I said Jesus. But it wasn't Jesus. And something was just drawing me closer and closer and closer. And then next thing you know, a big bright fiery testicle was in front of me. I said, "What's your name?" He said, "Son." After that, I've been following him ever since. So, you don't even know who the hell this is? >> No, you just started following a random Stranger. Yeah, that's my big daddy and I'mma stick beside her. >> So, I just want to know like how did you die? Yeah, because
I know y'all be dying like tragic deaths and stuff that keep y'all here on this earth. Yeah, I heard that like if you die and you got unfinished business, you stay your soul stay here. So, like what happened, child? My husband cheated on me. Oh yeah. And I caught him in the act and I Told him I was leaving and he choked the hell out of me. Dang. Oh, you went out sad. Stop. Don't say that. He He didn't mean No, it's okay. I don't care no more. I heard he got away with it. >>
Oh, dang. What's his name? Oh, Rental James. Ch. Oh, Rental James. That sound familiar. Yeah, it do. Yeah. >> So, can you possess people? >> Yeah, I can, but I can't do it unless somebody allow me to do it. >> Oh, you want to possess me and we could Try to find your ex-husband? >> The [ __ ] Don't let that [ __ ] possess you? I'm trying to help her so I can rest her soul so she can go on the gym. God damn. Rest her soul. [ __ ] you ain't no exorcist hoe.
Don't listen to him. Come on. Come on. You have to say I accept. Oh, okay. I accept. Oh, >> what happened? I got scared as [ __ ] That's what happened. Welcome to the world, son. N now I know damn well >> what this my third time being reincarnated. First I was a dung beetle. Then I was a giraffe. I know like hell. >> I know like hell I'm not no [ __ ] blobfish. >> Yes you are son. >> Oh hell no. I'll go back to being a dung beetle for all this. I'm not
playing. I'm about to call them right now. You have reached Reincarnation services. We are currently not in office right now. Give us a man. They not answering you no more. I guess this it then. It's okay. You going to love being a blobfish. What do we eat? We eat urchins. Crab legs. >> Crab. Oh yeah. I think I like being a blobfish. I think I got this down pack. Hell yeah. You got the lips for it already. >> N I can't even be mad. I do got some big lips. Negle your siblings. Oh, >> brother.
>> Oh, y'all is ugly as hell. Go. Go. Gabriel, you don't you don't see that I'm busy right now. >> I'm sorry, but tell me why I'm over here minding my business just walking. And I hear Lucifer talking to the angels talking about some, "Oh, we should jump God. He ain't going to do nothing." >> Oh, yeah. Jump. Yep. Jump. They talking About some God ain't going to do nothing. He always think he all that. But I'mma show him today. Show me what. That's what I said. So what he going to show me? What he
going to show you? >> So you know what? I'm tired of him. He think cuz he can sing and he beautiful. He can run stuff. But I I And I look at him. I said, "Y'all not going to jump Y. Y'all not going to jump y'all not going to jump." >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I wish y'all would Jump me, Lucifer, I'm the one who gave you a place to stay. Okay. And you got the nerve to try and go against my best friend. Oh yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. We about to see. Come on. Let's
go, >> child. And I was just like, >> so Lucifer, you got undercover pressure? >> I ain't got no undercover pressure with you. >> But I'm hearing that you do. And what you wearing red now? >> Yeah, I like red. Is there a problem? >> I'm just hearing the word jump God in the same sentence. So, I'm trying to see what kind of temperature you on. >> I am chilling. Jehovah God you Lucifer Jehovah. >> All right, Satan. Don't be calling me by my last name. >> All right, let me teach you. >> If humans
acted like animals, spiders. >> Lena. >> Yeah, you got food. >> No, I'm waiting too. I'm about to eat my leftovers in my web somewhere. My boyfriend ain't got his food either. Lena, you got a boyfriend? >> Yeah, he over there. >> Let me see. Oh. Oh, Lena, you sure that's your boyfriend? >> Yeah. Why? Look like your best friend. How? Lena, what? Look at him. He just waiting for food. >> Okay. Kha, what is you doing? Kha. Kesha, what is you doing? Hey. Oh. Oh, damn. She fell. Oh, damn. She fell. I just got
a chicken tip in my whale. Oh my gosh, Kevin. Y'all look at Kevin. I got tied up in my whale. That's toilet paper. I It It's Well, stay in charact. I can't. Why? It's Charmin Ultra Strong. I'mma try to dance for some food. Sit down with them ashes. With them scab ashes. >> All right. I need everybody to settle down and once I call your name, please Say here. I'mma let y'all know I'm not one of those teachers that play. So, please don't play with me. Okay, let's go. Um, Chowder >> here. >> Did you
pack a lunch? Chowder? >> Yes. >> Good. Cuz I don't want you to take nobody else's food. Dora, >> a key. >> Okay, Dora, let me tell you something. I don't [ __ ] with no monkeys, so keep that [ __ ] boots outside. And if I see you missing more than 5 seconds, I'mma write you up and expel you cuz I'mma think you're exploring. Okay. Um, Caillou, I'm here. >> Caillou, let me tell you something, baby. I've been watching your bowheaded ass for a long time. You're not going to play with me. Okay. If
I say no, what that mean class? >> No. >> Thank you, Dipper and Mabel here. >> I need both of y'all to keep that paranormal [ __ ] where it's at. Okay. If y'all not bringing the Holy Ghost up in here, then we ain't bringing no ghost. And um where is S? He didn't ride with us. Oh, he got on that other bus. >> Yeah, >> that's understandable. Steven Quartz Universe. >> Yes, Mariah. Um keep your belly button to yourself. Okay, >> child. What's wrong? >> Caillou said I had titties. >> Caillou, I know you
didn't tell this boy he had titties. >> Sit your bad ass down. >> Okay, let's practice. Let's practice. All right. All right. So, when Uncle Steven come in and he look at you and he say, "You still don't know how to drive." I'mma say, "I don't know how to drive, but at least I know how to swerve a hoe." >> Yeah. Hold on. You know Auntie Deborah is going to have his back and she love saying this generation don't got no respect. And I'mma say you worried about my generation. You need to be worried about
why Tama trying to start a new generation with your man. With your man. Look look. I'mma make it dramatic. I'mma do my hand just like that. With your man. Look. I'mma get up with your man. And look. Here go grandma. Y'all want to act so high and mighty. And here go me. Worry about that blood pressure being high in my [ __ ] And here go grandpa. Y'all need to keep your mouths closed. Just like that assault case you got. >> Boom. >> Auntie Deborah. Auntie Deborah. Y'all act just like children? Why is Tama trying
to have children with your men? [Applause] >> All right, I think it's time for us to eat. Um, what do you want, little one? Um, I think I want some um some um some butterscotch or something. Butterscotch? We ain't never ate no butterscotch. What is you talking about? I don't know. I just really want something like some pickles and ketchup. Like some pancakes with ranch on it. That sound good. Don't that sound good? That sound real good? That Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Religion. That's what your mama named You? Yeah. Religion. We don't do
that here. Girl, shut the [ __ ] up and put some ranch on my flapjack. No. If anything is going to be on a pancake, it's going to be syrup like normal people. Well, can I at least get some bleach or something? Bleach? You want to You want to eat bleach? >> No. No. No. No. I want to smell it. Let me smell some bleach. I want to smell some bleach. >> No. Well, can I get some strawberry Onion pudding? >> What the No. What kind of combinations are these? >> Well, you know what? You
just going to have to put some ranch on the goddamn pancake. I ain't putting no ranch on no pancake relief. Put ranch on that goddamn pancake or I'mma make this [ __ ] feel contractions on my mama. >> Yes. Can I have some pancakes with some ranch? >> What the hell? Ranch. >> Yeah, girl. Can you guys stop? This puffer fish got me high. >> Stop throwing me around. We got to throw you around. That's proper puffer fish etiquism. Etiquette. What? Etiquette. Eta kick. What a kick? I ain't seen a in about a couple of
years. Me either. I thought she died. Ea still kicking for real. Y'all shut the hell up and pass me the puffer fish. Stop. >> Oh y'all, What the humans be saying? This some gas. Some gas. >> This is some no diesel. [Music] >> I got to get out of here. Oh, pass me the fish. Pass me the fish. Yes. Oo, here. Oh, I feel like I'm joining. [Music] Give it to me. Give it to me. Y'all, we high as hell. What? This a damn rock. Oh, jing [ __ ] Aing jing. A ching jing [
__ ] A ching jing. A ching jing [ __ ] A jing a ching ching [ __ ] A ching ching. A ching ching. A ching ching. A ching ching [ __ ] A ching ching. A ching ching [ __ ] A ching ching. A ching ching [ __ ] A ching ching. A ching ching. A ching ching. A ching ching. A ching ching. A ching ching. A ching ching. A a ching ching. A ching ching a ching a ching ching. A a ching ching. Oh sh [Music] sing [Music] a A singing [Music] singing a
singing a singing. [Music] >> Sometimes you just got to give people space sometimes, you know. Yeah, you're right. And girl, what is wrong with you? Shh. I can hear them. Hear who? You know That [ __ ] swear he can talk to ghost child. >> You get on my nerve. >> I'm not pretending. I can hear them. No, those are just my friends. Watch this. Watch this. Who you talking to? Let me get his name. Harold. Harold. You could be talking to a whole slave master, right? What Harold used to do? Uh um he said
he he said he used to be a stripper. A stripper? Yep. When >> um 18 1756. 1756. Chad, >> who is he stripping for? The British colonies, [ __ ] Ask Harold what his stripper name used to be. >> Mhm. Mhm. Child. He said the Mayflower. The Mayflower. He said when he used to come out, they used to say, "Backth that ass up." Mhm. >> Ask Harold how much money he said he Don't want to talk about. child. Hey >> what you eating? >> I got me some grilled nuggets with some buffalo sauce. >> Oh,
let me see. Uh yeah, you got I smell the buffalo sauce. Let Let me look at Just just about to look at your um food, child. I want to see that. Oh, [ __ ] What? Why you keep making that face every time I get near your food? You don't want me near your food? I never said I didn't want you near my food. Don't make it seem like I'm trying to be greedy. But why is you contorting your face up like that? Like what? Like this? Like that? Man, if you don't look watch. See?
Look. I don't know what you talking about, Bab. Let me look at your food. Then look at it. God damn it. Okay. [Music] Now, [ __ ] Let me look at your back. Back up, [ __ ] Back up. Come in. Girl, what's wrong with you? >> I texted my ex again. You just don't listen, do you? I tell you this, you do that. I tell you that, you do this. What do you even come to me for? H wipe your face. Why would you do that? You see how stupid that was? That's how you
treat me. Have you even tried to cope with the Breakup? I have, actually. How? What is that? A blowup doll or something? No, it reminds me of my ex. Your ex? >> Yeah, but you dated a crackhead. And when I get mad, I just You freaky. All right. All right. Stop. Stop. Listen. I'mma make you a to-do list. I want you to go out, do something, go meet new people, go treat yourself, and go get some BBC. Okay. BBC. Yes. Barbecue chicken. Now, get out My office. Hello. Yes. Do you know our Lord and Savior?
Get off my porch, please. I I know y'all didn't just go to my back door. Do you know our Lord and Savior? Please get off my porch. Both of them. Hey. Hey. Don't Don't open this goddamn door, [ __ ] Hey. Hey, y'all chill out. No. No. Do you know our Lord and Savior? Do you know our Lord and Savior? No. I damn ho. You need to know about our Lord and Savior. I'm an Atheist. I am an atheist. >> You know our Lord is you know our Lord is our [Music] >> What the hell?
That's too aggressive. Girl, I am hungry. Well, we got some humans over there that was in the cold. You just got to heat them up. Well, over there. What kind of humans them is, child? They Black. Oh, so soul food. >> Yeah. >> Let me go warm them up. >> No, please stop. >> Girl, shut the hell up and get in that microwave. >> No, stop. Take me. Oh, I'mma take you. Don't worry. Oh, what is that smell? This human expired. No, I just farted. I was nervous, [ __ ] I ain't never been in
a microwave before, girl. It's just like being in a sauna. Come on. >> No. >> Put them in that microwave and start it up. How long do I warm them up? Well, they black, so not that long. Okay. Well, I I'll do a minute. [Music] I can't believe this happening. Child, it's getting hot. Child, look at him watching me. He watching me turn around. He know this Thing fast. Oh, it's going. Uhuh. [Music] Hello. God, why is all these people calling up here talking about they want their prayers back for Karly Russell? They want their
prayers back for Karly Russell. Yes, Karly Russell. Shut up, boy. I am looking at it right now. All I see is Karly Russell. Carly Russell. Carly Russell. I want my prayer back. Carly Russell ain't missing. Carly Russell a liar. Carly Russell. Carly Russell. Carly Russell. [ __ ] that [ __ ] Watch your mouth. My bad. But yeah. Carly Russell. Carly Russell. Carly Russell ain't gone. Kylie Russell. Karly Russell. Carly Russell thick but she a trick and she ain't. Yeah. Carly Russell. Carly Russell. Bump Russell. Oh, I want my ex Sierra back. That uh that
got to be future. >> Yeah, I ain't still mad, honey. >> But yeah, I don't know what to do. This is a lot of work. Well, she obviously ain't missing. I can't believe she lied like that. Me either. Now, how you didn't know and you God? Oh, I I was playing along with y'all. I seen her in the woods eating them crack. >> Hey, friend. Hey. What took you so long? Child traffic. Um where my babe? You talking about Poochie? Duh. Child, he's in the cage resting right now. Resting. What's wrong with my nephew? He
sick. Child, no. Let me go get him. Poochie, come here, boy. >> Yeah, come here, baby. Come say hey to your uncle. Child, here he go. Tina, what? Why? Why his ass swole? Oh, I got him a BBL. T Tina what? I know like hell. [Music] Tina, why you made Poochie Juicy? Baby, >> I had to. No, you didn't. >> Yes, I did. They was picking on my baby at the dog park. Every time he would try to go near the girl dolls, they would just run away from him. So, you thought since he couldn't
get no ass, you gave him some ass? Exactly. Come here, Poochie. >> A wolf. >> Oh, he working. >> Look at him. Sweet. >> Come on, y'all. Come on. Come on. Come on. Get in. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh My gosh. >> Did we make it? >> Congratulations, y'all. Y'all are free in the north. >> Oh my god. We done [ __ ] made it. Harriet knew what she was doing. I told y'all. I told y'all I knew what I was doing. Didn't I tell y'all that? You sure did. But I didn't believe
you. But we really we really free. I told y'all I knew what the [ __ ] I was doing. Follow me. I know they But but look, I ain't going to lie. I was scared as hell when them dogs started chasing us. Hey, no, no, no. Look, I seen them dogs chasing us. I looked back at him, he was gone. >> Did y'all see Master Face, though? Hell yeah. He was so mad. I looked back at him. I said, "North side, bitch." Oh, he was we not from the south no more. Where the cotton? Where
the cotton? Where the cotton? Where is the cotton? Where's the cotton? Where's the cow? It Ain't no cotton. I just shot a couple birds down. >> Girl, you can't be doing that, >> right? She done had a relapse. >> What the hell? Master. Master. Gucci. Gucci, come here. Gucci, come here. What? What's going on? >> Master just passed out and I don't know what happened. >> He passed out. Master, go my Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Master, wake up. Wake up, master. Gucci, where the goddamn water. >> I'm coming. Don't be yelling at me. >> You
acting like our goddamn daddy ain't passed out. >> Master, wake up. He forgot to put the pill in my booty. >> What? So you ain't take your medication? >> Oh my god. have to wake up. It should have been me, Jesus. It should have been me. Jesus. >> Oh, girl, go get me the salt. All right. You want the pepper, too? Yeah, child. We About to eat good tonight. Get the ragano, too. >> Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay. >> Oh, yes. So, do you think we should let him marinate? >> No. Let's go ahead and eat
them now. All right. God is great. God is good. Let us thank you for our food. Bow our heads. We shall be feed. Give us Lord >> this daily bread. Amen. [Laughter] [ __ ] [ __ ] What the [ __ ] was that? It Was oxygen. That [ __ ] smoking crack. No. No. What? What? What? What was that? Wait. Wait. You taste that, girl? Girl, that tastes like panina colada. Girl, since when you could start smoking pina colada, girl, you know you can do all types of stuff now. I heard the brain learning
something the other day about you and shisha. Uh-uh. Not the she. >> So, what did we just inhale though? I think I know it was one of them vapes. >> Oh my god. This [ __ ] don't got a vape. Why you look smaller, child? That pinina colada had me losing some weight. Well, inhale some air. Oh, you're right. Yeah, hurry up. We don't want you collapsing. Uh-uh. I don't want to collapse. Yeah, you collapse, [ __ ] I collapse. We a unit. Well, hopefully she don't relapse so we don't collapse because one more puff
and I'm gone. >> So, are you going to be my wingman? >> Yeah, I got you. This your first time? Yeah. And I'm a little nervous. You know, I got to turn her on with my dance moves, you know. >> You got this. There she go right there. Come on. >> Okay. Okay. And I told him I just do not have time for Girl. Girl, who is that? >> [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ]
it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. >> Girl, I think he want to hunch on you. Let me keep watching. >> [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] it up. F it up. [ __ ] it up.
[ __ ] it up. F it up. F it up. F it up. F it up. F it up. F it up. F it up. F it up. Um, you was trying to dance for me. >> Yes, Jasmine, I was. >> Oh. Oh, well, baby, you not getting laid then? >> That didn't turn you on. No, I seen People dance better than that. Well, that turned me on. I think you did a good job. If you was dancing for me, I showed with bust the coochie right on open. I'm sorry. Thank you for your time.
I told you to whine your way. >> Shut up. Don't be mad at me because you was out there looking stiff. >> Noah. Noah. Noah, calm down. Calm down. Hey, it's so nice to meet you. I heard so much about you. >> Uh >> oh. You probably think I'm one of the angels sent from God. No, no, no. I'm not. I'm not. Then what are you? I'm from the future. Anyways, that don't matter. I'm going to make this short and sweet. You got two cockroaches on this boat. Where are they? Uh, why do you want
to know that? >> Because I asked. Um, I don't think I should tell you. I don't think God likes that. How you know what he likes? Cuz he talks to me. Oh, you think you the [ __ ] Because God talked to you when you built a big ugly wooden yacht. Where? Where them cockroaches at? I'm not telling you. You know what? You ain't got to tell me. Where your kitchen at? Upstairs. That's all I need to know. Move. Where are you going? I just can't believe he flooded the earth. Like, that is so crazy.
B. >> Oh my god. Noah. Noah, >> what are you doing? >> I had to kill the roach. >> You did not have to do that. >> Noah, shut the hell up. Those weren't the only two roaches on this boat. Y'all brought friends, didn't y'all? Yeah. See what the [ __ ] I can't believe you still ain't got that oil change. I'm going to get my oil change off. >> Well, it need to be soon because I'm getting tired of hitchhiking. Here comes somebody right now. Hey, sir. We just headed to the >> Get in
the car. >> Oh, [ __ ] Come on, [ __ ] I'm coming. >> You better hurry the hell up. >> And you still want to hitchhike? We got to find some way to get home. Here come another car. >> Y'all looking for a ride home? >> Uh, yeah. We're going east to the Drayton Hotel. >> Yeah, I can take you guys there. Get in the car. >> Okay, thank you. >> Thank you. What? >> He don't look and sound suspicious to you. >> Oh, there's nothing to be worried about. Get in the car. >>
You don't want to get in the car? Mm- >> He sound like he stopped up. You need some bit of drill. >> No, I'm good. Get in the car. >> I'm about to get in the car. >> Okay. When you end up on CNN missing, Don't don't call me. way. So, you just going to walk the rest of the way? >> Yeah, you don't want to do that. Get in the car. >> Move over. Let me get in. >> Give me all your money. >> Oh [ __ ] Didn't I tell you, [ __ ]
Didn't I tell you? >> Okay. Um, I got something to tell y'all. We are about to pass a black hole. >> What the [ __ ] Hold up. What's wrong with you? >> I was scared, y'all. >> You ain't got nothing to be scared about. The first [ __ ] that's going to get sucked up, if anybody gets sucked up, is Pluto. Don't scare him. Can y'all shut up? When we go past this black hole, do not look at him. Do not say nothing to him. Just follow behind me. Your wish is my command, Big
Daddy. Oh, look what we got here. Fresh me. Fresh me. Damn. Y'all don't want to say nothing to me, man. I'm trying to suck all of y'all up. Oh, they don't want to say nothing to me. Okay, I see how it is. Ooh, Pluto, come here. Pluto, come here. Pluto, what did I tell y'all? I told y Pluto was not going to last. >> Pluto push baby. [Applause] [Music] Pluto fart. There you go. Come on. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. We going to sleep. All right. All right. Oh, y'all. We going to sleep. Time to shut
down. Child, you remember that time you [ __ ] on yourself in the classroom? I just I just had to bring that back up cuz that [ __ ] was so crazy to me. But okay, good night. Did you lock that damn door? Go check and see if you locked that door. Hold on. Go check and see if you Okay, it's lock. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's go back. Let's go back to sleep. Who the hell is that in that corner? Oh, I thought that was somebody. My bad. My bad. Go back. Go back to
sleep. My bad. I need a little snack or something. Sh. You're right. You're right. We don't need to eat this late. You right. Go get your phone. And I'm a little horny. >> Be still. >> What is you back there doing? I'm trying to get the human we abducted to be Still, but she she won't be still because y'all kidnapped me. Girl, be still so I can prove you. What? What? What happened? What happened? What happened? >> You scalped the [ __ ] I I didn't mean to. I just I just grabbed her head and
then now if she bleed to death, what you going to do? I'm so sorry. I did not mean to rip your hair out. >> Calm down. It's just a wig. A a wig? Yes. It's fake hair that we put on our Head to give beauty effects. >> So So this ain't your real hair? >> No. >> Girl, I feel like Britney Spears, [ __ ] You can't see none of my head with this hair. >> We call that a bust down. >> A bust down. Yep. >> So what you got to bust up cuz that
[ __ ] ugly. They going to be like, "Where you got that from?" I'm going to be like, "My Girl Kha on earth did it." >> Girl, it's cold as hell out here. >> Yeah, we need to leave. >> Yeah. I can't do this. >> Yeah. I'm about to fly down south to Florida or something. >> Florida? Yeah, >> [ __ ] I'm about to fly to Brazil. >> Hey y'all. Hey. You ready to fly down south? >> Oh, no. I don't migrate. I hibernate. >> Oh, you a hummingbird? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Hummingbirds
do hibernate. >> [ __ ] I'll choose migration over hibernation any day. >> Okay. >> Y'all should try it next year. >> Hell no. We got to move. >> Yeah, our Lisa. >> All right. Well, I'll see you guys around. Bye. Oh, what was that? Child. Tweety just Got hit. Oh my god. Come on. Come on. Come on. Tweety. Tweety. Tweety. Get up. Get up. >> Tweety. I think he all right. Sh. He hibernating. >> Oh yeah. All right, Tweety. We'll see you around. >> Bye, Tweety. >> Tina. Tina. There she go. There she go.
What's up? >> What's up? >> What's up? >> What's up? Don't jump. Nobody jump in. Nobody about to jump in. Tina, whoop that ass, man. You was talking about my mama, right? When you was talking about my mama, right? I don't give a [ __ ] about your mama on the dead homies, [ __ ] I might suck, man. Stop like that talking. Wind your [ __ ] Tina, that [ __ ] Come on. Come on. Come on. Get out. Get out. Get out. Yeah. I want all that. I want all that. Come on. Get
Get in there. Oh. Oh, Tina. Tina, just get in there. Get in there. Tina, get up. Don't touch her. Oh, you don't want to neck up with me, [ __ ] You don't want to neck up. Don't touch. You don't want to neck up. You don't want to neck up. I do. Yeah. Yeah. Or that. Or that. Come on, Kiki. Let's go. Let's go. Now, Tina, now how both of us got our ass whooped? Yeah. I [ __ ] around and got whiplashed. She got me. She got She Got >> What are you doing? I'm
coming to get my nuts. You didn't put your nuts in this hole. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. I had fat nuts and I put them right here. You put your nuts in this hole? Yes. Let me taste them. What? Let me taste your nuts. No. Yes. I need to see if they're salty or got a little tang like my nuts. My nuts taste tangy. Fine. Go ahead and lick my nuts. Your nuts taste tangy, so they my nuts. Oh yeah, let me look. These nuts are my nuts. They taste salty. Now
that I think about it, my nuts also taste salty. So yeah, you just said, you know what? The real question is, are you ready to die about these nuts? Oh, I stepped to nut stealers like you every day. Oh, baby, I'll bust your nuts for my nut. Go ahead and bust a nut then, man. You know what? Oh, so now you just going to put my nuts in your mouth? You just going to put my nuts in your Mouth? You know what? You can have my nuts. Go ahead. Swallow my nuts. Swallow them. Swallow them.
Y'all want to have a three Oh, who the hell are you? Yeah, you trying to swallow my nuts, too? >> I thought y'all were Never mind. Three, two, one. >> Congratulations, Earth. >> Thank you. Thank you. We are now in 2024. Y'all always congratulate Earth every time he go into a new year, but Y'all never congratulate me every time I spin around him 24 hours. Moon, we don't give a [ __ ] about the hell, right? What? You want us to congratulate you on something you do every day? I mean, it would be nice if
y'all did a little something every now and then, like a little yay or something. >> Oh my god. Yay. Anyways, Earth, what's your Anyways, Earth, what's your New Year's resolution? To spin my ass back around Again. Exactly. That's what it is every year. >> Oh. Earth, you all right? That voice got deep. >> Yeah, I'm all right. >> Oh. Oh, y'all know this happened every New Year's. He hit puberty over again. >> Oh, yeah. It is New Year's. Them balls dropped. >> Yeah. >> I can't believe we died. I'm the one who Told you to
slow down. It is not my fault that truck sideswiped us like that. It's not my fault, man. Whatever. Press the button. Come on. Let's go on the glory. Shoot. You're not going to fuss at me like that. Like I'm the reason we both die. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. We ain't doing that. Hoo. It's getting hot. That's your bro. >> Shut up, ho. Wait, wait, wait. You You hear that? Welcome to hell. We We We pressed the wrong button. Well, I'm sorry. We pressed the wrong button. We supposed to be going up. I'm sorry. Press Press the button,
friend. Press the button. Yeah. Okay. Okay. The elevator don't seem to be moving. You You want to come in? I know you high. You seem to be working up a sweat. We supposed to get off. Ain't >> not you him. >> Oh, just him. Me? Oh, I get to go up. Oh, I told you to donate that quarter to Charity, [ __ ] Hey, how are you? What the [ __ ] Good. How about yourself, child? What the hell? >> Mommy, can I get a ice cream? >> Yeah. Yeah, you can. >> What the [
__ ] up? Hey, >> what the hell are you waving at? >> Child. >> Hello. Um, tell me why I'm walking the city and everybody in their mama look Like me. Didn't I tell I told you stop donating your sperm? Didn't I tell you that back then? You did, but I didn't think it was going to be like this. I mean, everybody look like me. Yeah, them is your children. These are not my children. That is too much child support. I mean, everybody look like me. Look, even the crackheads look like me. You is father
nature, baby, at this point. I'm scared to go to this sneaky link. No, don't. It's all right. It's just going to be you there. >> Get in there. Okay. You ain't got to push me. >> Arthur, is that you? >> Hey, Scooby. Arthur, what are you doing in here? I could ask you the same thing. Oh, I was hunching Shaggy and he said I assaulted him, but I don't blame him. You know, I got some big nuts. I'm a great Dane. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what you doing in here? >> I put my hands
on DW. >> DW? Yeah, DW. >> Oh, I knew you was going to get a one. >> Me, too. She talked too damn much and she rude as hell. And what is y'all doing in here? >> What do you think? We seen Mojo Jojo and started tearing that ass up. >> Y'all need to leave that monkey alone, Miss Frizzle. Now, why >> me and the kids tried to go find that submarine? Leave me alone. >> Something about the name Jesus. >> Something about the name Jesus. It's something about the name Jesus. It is the sweetest
name I know. >> Who the [ __ ] lock Veggie Tails up, >> child? They was stealing from the church. What's up? What? What? What you got? What? I know you ain't got no spray. Who that spray for? I know it ain't for me. What? Oh, I see what the [ __ ] going on. So, you want to try to get rid of me now? You want to try to get rid of me after all I did for you? After all I did for you. After all them bugs that I killed for you. After all
them roaches that I prevented from getting in this house for you. Even them bed bugs was about them bed bugs was about to tear your ass up. But I I'm the one who Prevented that. And you trying to get rid of me. And you got the nerve to stand in front of me with some raid. You know what? Them termites that I seen outside yesterday, I hope they [ __ ] this house up because they plotting on you. I hope they [ __ ] it up. You know what? You ain't got to spray me because
if it's one thing my mama told me, she said, "If your presence is not wanted, you need to leave." And that's what I'm gonna do. I'mma pet my whip and leave. Got the Nerve to kick me out and you didn't give me no 30-day eviction notice. You I don't give a [ __ ] about this house no more. You lucky I ain't pregnant. I would have had my baby snibbling on your nipples by now. Standing there like a [ __ ] [Music] So, which one of us is going to get into the egg? Y'all, not
me. I got too many chromosomes. I think it should be me. Um, no. I don't think we want that baby To have a list. Wait a damn minute, y'all. Look, girl. What that say? I don't know. I can't read. I can't. We are shut down for business. For what? For business. He said it say we are shut down for business. Shut down for business. Uh-uh. Where the [ __ ] the damn eggs? I don't know, but they not here. So why did Jerome make us come all the way in here, >> right? Got us all
up in this infertile ass hole for all that. We might as well Just went down the throat, right? I We might as well just turn around. >> Wait, don't leave. What the [ __ ] Girl, what is that? >> Girl, that is a scrambled egg. Come on. Come on. Let's Let's reproduce. Reproduce? Girl, what we going to make with you? A damn gremlin. Girl, that menopause is tearing your ass up. >> Talking about you want to reproduce, >> right? [ __ ] around and make a goddamn chicken in here. >> And why are we doing
this again? Nicholas said that the others are getting old and they're making their way upstairs and we're the youngest, so we got to do what we got to do. Okay, come in. What is your name? >> Zenique. No, no, I mean like what is your stage name? Like I'm Dasher. That's Prince. And you are Oh. Um, Skipper. Uh-uh. Next. My name is Rya with a D uh H. I'm the baddest from the North Pole all the way to South Central. I'm what drive these other beers crazy. That's why they call me Josiah the Rita. >>
Oh yes, you pass. I like that. Go ahead. >> He ate that up. He really did. He might be in the front this year. Not in front of me. Next. My name is Big Bouncer. >> I don't know about him. He look like he going to slow the slay down. >> Do not disrespect me. I'm not going to slow the sleigh down, [ __ ] I am the Sleigh. Uhoh. Santa ain't going to be riding nothing but me this year, baby. >> Oh, okay. Yeah, he can pass. He can pass. Yeah, cuz I'm just scared.
I feel like he'll beat the hell out of me. Next. My name is Smart Ass. Uhuh. Next. Sizzle with the fistle and I'm here to grizzle. Broke deers with a fiddle. Got a feet on the griddle. Might sle on a make that boy just gizzle. >> Missy Elliot, I don't know what you doing here, but this is for dear Only Nick. Can y'all make some room please? It's getting cramped. It's getting cramped cuz you want to bust your smart up in here. I'm sorry. I don't want to be here anymore than you do. So, can
you scooch over? We don't have room for you. All them gaps and you don't have room. First of all, don't bring us into nothing. Right. Me and him had a divorce. So, don't try to interfere with our relationship. Talking about all them Gaps and y'all don't have room. He done hurt that little stub in between us feeling. It's called the gum. Boy, that's a stub. Is it young man? I said stub, not stud. Oh, I was about to say >> what she said. What she said? She said she ride solo and to go back to
where you stay. No. No. He said what? She She said that's what I said. Oh, she said y that mean back the hell up. Get back. Take us to the dentist and please get him removed and get some Braces, too. What you think you doing here? >> Yeah. What's up? I'm just passing through, guys. >> You not passing through nothing. What you doing up in here? I'm minding my business. Why are y'all worried about me? >> Why ain't y'all worried about me? Shut the up. Yeah, shut the up. Where you coming from? Huh? I'm coming
from the south. That's a lie. Cuz I know you Ain't coming from the anal, too. You telling me you was down there in the booty hole? I really don't want to stir up no trouble. Well, it looks like you about to get the stirring. He was bullying me. Yeah, he was bullying me, too. I know you wasn't bullying little skater. Not little ska. You was bullying. And you was bullying Lil Moo, too. Oh yeah, it's about to be a problem. What he did, little Mua? >> He stabbed me. >> Stabbed? >> Yeah. And he and
he and and he >> Take your time, little skita. Y'all know he a little >> Take your time, little skita. >> And he and he was bullying me. >> Oh, hell no. Yeah, we about to do something to you. But >> this for little moo and little skita [ __ ] Y'all, we about to get fired. We are all here gathered today to honor the the beautiful life take your time Baby of Michael Myers. >> Yes. >> You know Michael was me Jason and Cohost mentor. We always looked up to him and he always would
teach us. And if it's something that I remember Michael saying it's to always slay. >> That's right. >> To always slay. >> That's right. J Jason, do you have anything that you want to say? >> Pass on the mic. Pass on the mic. >> You better such a man with words. >> We will now have a song by Pennywise. >> Come on and flow. >> That's it. >> Come on and flow my flow. Come on and blow my >> blow. Come on and blow my >> Why don't you just fly? >> Clapping off. >> Come
on. >> Hey, Adam. Okay, so I just really want a nice name. So, what are you going to name me? >> Slippery Dick. >> Oh my god. >> Slippery dick. So, so I guess I go on that side. >> Yeah. Next. >> All right, Adam, what you going to name me? >> Booby. >> Booby. That ain't that bad. >> Yeah, that ain't that bad. I can deal with Booby. >> Yeah, Booby. >> Big Booby. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like that. Next. >> Hello, Adam. >> Ass. You You want to You want to see
my ass? >> No, no, no, no. Your name is ass. You're an ass. So, we done went from booby to ass. I wonder what's gonna be next. Next. What's up, Adam? >> [ __ ] cat. [Applause] >> Adam. Adam, you don't need to name us no more. God. God. >> What? >> God. I know you told this man to name us, but he is not doing a good job. He done name me cop. My friend Slippery Dick. Dick. Dick. Booby. The next animal he going to name. This video going to have to be X-rated. One,
two, and a one, two, three, go. >> Gravity holds us together. >> All right. Come on. Come on. >> Gravity holds us together. >> That's right. >> Gravity holds us together. Gravity [Music] together. >> All of these planets Belong to me. >> Cuz of my gravitational ass [Music] [Applause] [Music] together. [Applause] Gravity holds us together. [Music] >> We just dropped our gravitational ass [ __ ] merch. Make sure y'all go get Some. >> So, I brought you two here today so y'all could get some things off your chest. Okay. Do you want to load first?
>> Oh, that was disrespectful. >> So disrespectful. You think you something cuz you work for the IRS? You ask nothing. iOS. IOS. Get it right. iOS. >> iOS. >> Yeah. Oh, all right. I bet you wish you had FaceTime. FaceTime? I don't need FaceTime. I got Skype. Skype. Skype. I got Skype. I got Skype. I got Skype. >> Look. Look. Take your time. Take your time. >> Right. Skype. What? I need FaceTime for whatever. I bet you can't download movies in your gallery. I'm about to call the fest. Ain't that pilgrim pilgrimage? >> Piracy. >>
Yeah. Ain't that piracy? [ __ ] I'm about to go. I ain't got time for This. It It is. Where he at? Come back. What? We ain't done. Well, I am. Oh, you [ __ ] All right, little Rico. We are going to give you your vaccinations today. I hope you're ready. I I'm kind of nervous, but I guess I'm ready. So, I'mma grab the back of your neck, and you're going to feel a little pinch. Okay. Three, two, one. >> Calm down. Calm down. Go. Wait. Wait. Wait. Calm down. Calm down. It's over. It's
over. It's over. See, it was pretty quick. Here. Here's some peanut butter. >> Oh. Oh, thank you, [ __ ] Get up. Get up. [ __ ] get up. Come on. >> Mittens. Mittens. My ass. Come on, [ __ ] Head up. >> I'm not going to keep doing this with you. I'm not going to keep doing that. >> Stop that [ __ ] run up, [ __ ] Are y'all jumping? Are y'all jumping? Are y'all jumping? Are y'all jumping? Are y'all jumping? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Like that? We are trying to give you your
shots. You going to need a gun to keep me down, [ __ ] >> Yeah, child. I'm just over here babysitting. You know, they said they going to pay me $700 a week. So, >> $700. >> $700 a week. Why they paying you so much, >> child? I don't know. >> But I said I'll take care of little Kenny for y'all. Where he at? He back there in his room. I'm about to go check on him now. >> Okay. Okay. Kenny, what you doing, K? Kenny. Child, he's staring at the wall. Staring at the wall.
Yeah. Kenny, you all right? Kenny. >> Johnny says he doesn't like you. >> Johnny? Who? Who? He said Johnny don't like you. Who the hell? Johnny, >> my friend. Your friend. He said he doesn't like you. >> Well, Kenny, Johnny doesn't like you. >> Well, tell Johnny I don't give a damn. >> He's right beside you. >> Oh, hell no. Girl, I'm about to get the hell out of here. >> What's going on? He told me Johnny is beside me. Child, do you do you see him, >> Johnny? Oh, ow. What the [ __ ]
Oh, hell no. All the evidence that we have right now is telling us that you are the one who had a hand in Demetrius's murder. So, why can't you just admit it? I told you I did not do it. I cannot do this no more. I'm going to take five. You talk to her and I will be right back. All right, girl. Be so for real. You killed that [ __ ] Bang. Bang. No, you didn't. He wanted to cheating with my sister. Oh, okay. But in the paperwork, it say right here that your sister
missing. Where is she? Night night. Girl, you going to jail. A what you do? What Nikki said? Put that ass to sleep over do on that night quill. >> Hell not what she said. >> Where her body at? Way in the water. Lock her ass up. 2024. I can confidently say you've been putting your foot on these [ __ ] neck. I told y I told y'all I don't play. I get down. And down you got, [ __ ] >> It was the earthquake in New York for me. >> No, because they ain't had no
earthquake since 1737. >> No, like you you shut the table with that one. 2024. >> No pun intended. I said this girl made them have an earthquake. I said, "Oh, She ain't playing around." >> No, y'all. It was the eclipse for me. Oh yeah girl, you had everybody thinking Jesus, Buddha, the aliens. >> You had them thinking everybody was coming down. They was panicking down there. I said they acting like they ain't never seen no eclipse. >> No, y'all. I seen this one girl. Let me put it up here. Look >> y'all. We don't have
time to be playing. We don't have time to be worried about It. So >> Oh, baby. She was upset. I >> said, "Girl, this is in that clip." >> So, Miss Frizzle, I brought you here today because we have gotten reports that you quote unquote took the kids in your classroom to go explore the human body. >> Yes. Yes, I did. >> Okay. Um, we didn't have no scheduled field trip for that day that you did that. So, I'm a little confused. And What is exploring the human body? Me and the kids went to go
explore the human body. >> Okay. Okay, Miss Frizzle. Okay, this is my problem. You and a group of kids went on an unscheduled, undocumented field trip to quote unquote explore the human body by yourself and left the premises. Do you not see how that looks? >> Uh, a teacher taking her kids on a field trip. Can you tell me why Kesha said she seen A booty hole? Because I showed her a bowel movement. >> You showed her a bowel movement? >> Yes, I showed her a bowel movement in the body. Yes. >> Okay. So, she
seen a booty hole. >> Yes. >> Go get my papers, Clyde. >> Papers? Why? >> Cuz you going to jail, [ __ ] >> There he go using that body wash again. He don't ever use us. No, he don't. And He don't wash his butt either. Oh, I ain't going to complain because if he haven't been, then it probably look like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory up in there. And I do not have a golden ticket. I can't watch this no more. This some po hygiene. >> What is that? >> What is What? >> That
That right there on his baby makeup. >> That is a bug. >> Oh my gosh. Get it out. Get it out. >> Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. That's a mo. I was about to say that bug trying to get your goodies. I thought he had crabs. You would have been screaming. Pinch that testicle. It's over. I know. For real. >> God damn. >> Are you all right? >> What happened? Must have been that Crowd. >> He ain't getting up. >> Are you ready for the play, darling? >> Yes. Yes, I
am. Abraham, >> it's a beautiful night tonight. I can't wait to see what's in store for us. I'm here. Abraham. Abraham. Do you hear that? >> Someone's calling my name. I think it's him. >> Hey, Abraham, come here. Come here. I got to tell you something. Abel. >> Uh, let's just ignore him. >> Okay. Seems like you got a fan. >> Yes. >> Abraham, I know you see me with that big ass hat. Abra. >> Oh gosh. >> Oh, I think the place about to start. >> Abraham. So, you didn't hear me calling your name
down there? >> Oh my gosh. Listen, I'm not signing autographs right now. I'm sorry, >> Abraham. I don't give a damn about your Autograph. I'm here to tell you somebody is trying to shoot you. >> Shoot me? >> Yes. His name is John Wils Booth. So, I suggest that you need to move somewhere else. John Wilkey. Oh my god. He been hating ever since. We got to leave, darling. Thank you for telling me kind African. African. A [ __ ] I'm too late. John, what's up? What's up, John? [ __ ] Quita. You Hey, come
here. You see Quita? She She look like she about to pass out. Sit down, baby. Your blood pressure might be getting a little high. Quita, I don't think she can hear us. Uh-uh. Our filter on. Go turn it off. You sure? Yes. Go. All right. This tank start filling up with pneumonia. [ __ ] you we going to die. Girl, shut the hell up and go turn it off. And it's ammonia, not pneumonia. All right. I just turned it Off. Quita. Oh, she about to pass out. But oh my god. Oh my god. She put
up >> Oh my god. We losing water as we speak. >> What do we do? >> Girl, go turn the filter back on. Girl, what the [ __ ] the filter going to do? I don't know. It's going to do something to the water. >> Oh my god. Oh girl. >> 2 years of service. Fish school for call out for help. Blue [ __ ] >> Blue. Let's just go ahead and settle this now. Yes, please. Can we settle it? I don't see the need to why we need to settle this because you wanted to
come on the scene dancing and Yeah. You thought and everybody hyping you up like you did something brand new, right? I was the first dog to ride a bike and I don't see none of y'all riding no bike. Well, I'm the original. I'm the one who came into this industry and paved the way for all Three of y'all. So, yeah. >> Well, really, we just need to break it down into categories. Like who looks the scariest? >> It was me when I had on them stitches in my face. But it's okay. I I won't take
that one. Well, I'm pretty as like me. I got makeup on. So, >> it's definitely you. I don't know why you trying to act like that. >> I know you not talking cuz you look like somebody racist. Grandma, that's me. Don't come for my home girl like that. Well, well, who got the prettier hair? Oh my [ __ ] Always late. You not playing with me. It ain't never going to fail, Chuck. Y'all look at Anna. She ain't saying a damn thing. Little house on the prairie looking. >> What's up, Anna? >> Oh, somebody. How
the [ __ ] do they know we in the ocean? Huh? How the [ __ ] do they know we in the ocean? The hell you looking at me for? You might as well go ahead and tell them that you the one who leaked this information. >> Oh, you a [ __ ] lie about us living. You went and told the government about this [ __ ] ocean and now they over here. >> You told them we live in the ocean. New >> they said they was going to give me Obama care. I I I
don't know why y'all left. I don't see [ __ ] about this funny. Now we going to have to start paying [ __ ] taxes. >> Who? You. I can't believe you told them we in Stop yelling at me. Right. You acting like they wasn't bound to find out. What you think they going to do to us when they find out what the [ __ ] we did to that submarine? >> Huh? We going to jail, [ __ ] And the winner to be the face of the $100 bill is Benjamin Franklin. >> Of course.
Of course. Of course. Of course. >> Of course. Of course. >> Right. You baldhead [ __ ] You hoes mad. You think you something because you invented the light bulb. Girl, that was Thomas Edison. I don't know why y'all mad for a second. Julia, you on the $1 coin. A coin ain't enough for me. A coin Is not enough for me. I need to be on something bigger. Well, at least you on a coin. I ain't on nothing. I'm not on nothing. >> Oh, Harriet, I know you mad, girl. >> Oh, they made a movie
about you though, Harriet. >> Okay. And and I'm getting tired of being made movies about >> But girl, you got your own theme song, so I'm going to stand up. Shut the hell up. >> All this animosity too much, Franklin, cuz you acting like I won't rip the rest of that leftover wig you got in the back wig. Girl, this is human. No, that's humidity. The sweat on your forehead must be having a church service. Yeah, they glowing, ain't they? Ugly. Oh my gosh. I love everything here. I love this house. I love my bed.
I love my toys. I love my food. I love you. I just love everything. Girl, I got a little excited. Girl, my bad. I know I'm supposed to do it on the pead, but girl, I just I got a little excited there. Don't Don't whoop my ass now. But but yeah, baby, you going to have to clean that uh go to bed. Oh, mittens. Get down from there right now. [ __ ] you. This is my house now, [ __ ] Get down now. Don't make me get the spray bottle. You spray me with some
water. I'mma scratch these curtains up. I'mma scratch these Curtains up. I'm going to scratch these curtains up. Mittens, get down from there right now. [ __ ] no. That was really good. >> Yeah, it really was. >> Should we um go ahead and open our fortune cookies? >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's let's do it. Sh. Let me tell you, that man right there, he going to cheat on you. >> What? What? >> Mhm. >> I would never do such a thing. >> Oh, you wouldn't. You see, I was just supposed to tell you the future,
but let me tell you a little bit of what's going on in the present. You know, Miss Sharon, >> my my therapist. >> Yeah, he been seeing her lately behind your back. >> That is out of context. I've been talking to her about my frustration. >> Your sexual frustration? I I can't believe it. >> Go ahead and crack my friend open. He got something to say. Girl, don't cry cuz you know what happened after he cheat on you? What? He turned gay. >> Yeah, that is a gay man right there. He go from Miss Sharon
to Mr. Baron. My dad really, Tyler, >> I would never. >> Boy, you know you out with a little fiddle in your skittle. >> Let me tell you something. Don't think you about to come up here runningish. Yeah, keep it cute. Keep it real cute. Who is this y'all? Monkey Pox, you a joke to us. I mean, I just came on the scene. I really >> Shut up. Nobody asked you to speak. Nobody asked you to speak. I'll run you out of America. What's up? >> Back up. Flew back up. He ain't worth it. I'm
really not trying to plague y'all minds or anything. What? What? What he said about my grandma? What you said about play? What you said about my grandma ho? He he he said I really played y'all minds. Don't Don't be talking about my grandma cuz she dead and gone and I don't play about her. Don't be Don't be talking about my grandma, man. I'll be talking about my grandma. I don't blame about my grandma. Calm down. Calm down. >> No, cuz Rona, you know I don't blame about my grandma, man. My grandma, man, Go. Don't you
hit that monkey. Now back up now. Calm down, flu. I told you it ain't worth it. Now come on. I'm about to take you somewhere. Don't Don't let me catch you out in the body fluid somewhere. It's on sight the next time I see you. Why didn't you help me? Cuz they look like they can fight. 911. What's your emergency? >> Help. >> Ma'am. Ma'am, >> ma'am. >> Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am, I need you to calm down so we can get you some help. Okay. What's going on? >> My son was just eaten by a lion.
>> A lion. >> Yes. Up. Up. Oh, damn. I wasn't ready for that one. Damn. What? For real? >> Yes. I'm watching him eat them right now, my baby. Damn, girl. [ __ ] I don't know what to tell you, [ __ ] Run. >> What do you mean? Send help. >> Ma'am, I What are you? What are you? >> I'm a gazelle. >> Oh, yeah. I heard them lions be tearing y'all asses up. I want to try some gazelle meat one day. Um, ma'am, I can send some hyenas over there to help. But I'm
going to be honest. After the hyenas fight the lions, they probably going to start eating your baby, too. Ma'am. Ma'am. Child, they tearing her ass up. Oh. Oh, toothbrush is coming. >> Hey. Hey. >> Hey, toothbrush. Hey. Hey, toothbrush. Hey. Hey. >> Oh, [ __ ] It's stanking him. >> Oh, no. I ain't playing. It smell like ass. What was y'all doing last night? Oh, we was just doing some licking. That's all. >> Tongue. Oh, I got to get you first, baby. Hold on. I love toothbrush. Me, too. He's so kind. That [ __ ]
just said we stank. We stank every morning. That's His purpose of coming in here, right? Maybe sometimes we just need to stank a little less. Or maybe he just need to scrub a little harder. >> Thank you so much, Toothbrush. >> You're welcome, tongue. All right, now it's time to get you stank ass teeth, [ __ ] Let me tell you something. Uh-oh. Don't disrespect toothbrush like that. You always saying we stank this, we stank that. Maybe you need to get to scrubbing a little more. >> Excuse me. I think I scrub pretty good. >>
You scrub like a bee. >> Oh, I do. Well, I guess this plaque is going to stay on the back of you. That ain't plaque. That's melanin, ho. >> Shut your stank ass up. >> Maybe we just need to go to the dentist. You shut your yellow ass up. >> So, out of all the people that you could have got, why why you want me >> shut up? >> I was just asking a question. I do not Care. I don't care. >> I have the right to know why you took me. Me? Cuz you took
me and God knows where the hell we going. >> Get out the car. >> Huh? >> Get the hell out the car. >> What? Where you going? You can't just take me and leave me on the side of the road and I don't know where I am. Come back. I got to find somebody new. >> Where you going? So you was just going to leave me stranded and desert me, huh? Desert me. >> Get out my face. >> You going to desert me? >> Get out my face. >> You was just going to desert me?
You was going to desert me. Just desert me like a piece of cake. You was just going to desert me. Huh? Hey. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Now, what the hell is you doing here? Hold on. Hold on. I'm almost there. I'm Almost there. All right, girl. Let me inside. [Music] Now, you know damn well we is shut down for business. We don't do that no more. Well, y'all better open up for business. I made my way all the way over here from the nut sack. I need some kind of compensation. It's just you. Yep. I was the
only one that popped out. >> Look, stop playing and open up, girl. >> Uh-uh. The last baby that came out of here was 35 years ago. So, what do I do? >> I don't know. I guess you just evaporate. Well, I appreciate you for having me and I appreciate you for coming. >> So, you going to swing first or I'mma have to. I don't know why we are fighting. It's pointless. It ain't pointless. Yasmin, you better whoop my Ass. And what is going on here? >> Miss Claus, not for nothing, but this ain't got nothing
to do with you. I would stay over there. I know y'all are not about to fight. Nause, you might want to get in on this. She was sleeping with Mr. Nicholas. >> Oh, that's hogwash. Do not make such allegations. >> Miss Claus, it ain't hogwash. She was having a few tingles with his bells that jingle. Honey >> Raven, I know you have not been tingling and jingling with my man. >> Miss Claus, please stop that. Don't play with me. We all here know that Mr. Nicholas is gay. >> I cannot believe that. >> Don't act
like we didn't catch him sleeping with Jack Frost. Nicholas would never. I'm sorry, Miss Claus, but yes, he would. He was busting down on that little snowflake. >> What? Did I say something wrong? >> Why did you have to say snowflake though? Like what? >> No. Like, for real. >> Well, I guess Christmas cancelled this year. Uh-oh. I detect smoke. Beep. Ba bea beep beep beep by beep beep beep by smokey beep byep. >> Oh [ __ ] It's smoke up in this [ __ ] A [ __ ] better get up and fix the
[ __ ] Quick. I'mma give her a minute. So about 6. I think I got to call the marshals on this chick. I smell some smoke so it might be a fire. She better wake that ass up and shake that jumb cuz if she don't hurry and clear the air, she going to wish she didn't have that synthetic hair. Oh [ __ ] it's foggy in this [ __ ] I don't think I can see that or this about to say bump it. It's just what it is. I hope she got stay in Shark R.
[Music] >> Must have been an oxygen tank. >> Fun fact, did you know Napoleon Bonapart was attacked by a gang of bunnies? Get your ass up, Napoleon. Yeah, get that ass up. He acting like he don't understand what we say. And don't act like we ain't beat your ass for no reason. Yeah, cuz you acting real shocked, stunned, baffled, confuzzled, acting like you didn't see us building our home and you wanted to step all over. Who the hell you think you is with Them tight ass pants? I can see both of your milk duds with
them tight ass draws and they ain't big, small, miniature, microscopic. Can you even have kids? Thought you was about to come over here and lead a revolution. Your ass got led right into that dirt. Even your horse got that ass beat. You must have thought you had a stallion. That's a mule, ho. It ain't fun when the rabbit got the gun, is it? And I see you got a carrot in between your legs with them tight ass Pans. That's a small carrot. Must be a baby carrot. I don't think that's a carrot, y'all. Well, it
ain't a cucumber. I think that's his wiener. Ooh, Napoleon. I know you can't slain that thing, y'all. He might be a grower, not a shower. Well, he need to grow some cucumbers then. Where the rest of your hairline? The rest must be inside your head. I suggest you don't get up cuz we will take you to pound town. You ever got [ __ ] by a rabbit? Okay. Too far. [Music] Uh-uh. Girl, what the [ __ ] wrong with you? >> It's the sun. >> Well, you ain't got a moan. It's making me uncomfortable. >>
I'm sorry. >> Now, let's just enjoy ourselves. >> Okay. >> All right. I'm about to move. You can't move. You rooted to the ground. Watch. When ain't God allow us to do that? Finally. Hey, friend. Oh my gosh. Are you going to stop? Yes. All right then. It feel good, don't it? >> My babies. I love my babies. My sweet little sweet little babies. My babies. >> Our kids are beautiful. >> Back the [ __ ] up. >> I was just trying to see. >> Back back the [ __ ] up. >> But I'm the
daddy. >> I don't give a damn. You ain't pushed these babies out. Are you breastfeeding These babies right now? >> No, but I'm here to assist you if you need. >> Back the [ __ ] up, King. Back the [ __ ] up. Back up. Back up. You think I wanted to be pregnant at the age of two? >> Well, you sure was loving it. I don't give a damn. I was in heat. >> Rocky, stop being mean to your boyfriend. You can come over here and sniff him a Little bit. Okay. All right, that's
enough. Get the [ __ ] back with your musty ball set at [Music] [Music] Shut the hell up. Oh my god. >> I'm back, baby. How are you and your kid? >> Oh, thank God. Girl, take these [ __ ] demons away from me. I got to go outside. I need a break. >> Mommy, I'm a little hungry. >> Girl, shut the hell up. Ask your grandma. I'm about to go. >> Mittens. Uh-uh. You cannot go outside. You better not end up pregnant again. >> Girl, [ __ ] you. This is my life. If I
do, I do. >> If humans acted like animals, kangaroo. >> Hey, who are you here to get? >> Timothy. >> Timothy. Mommy. Hey, baby. Come get in the pouch. >> He had a good day. >> Okay. Okay. Clarissa. Hey, Julie. I see you still got that FA. My kids in here. Where's yours? Is still in foster care? Actually, he's right here. Come on, Benjamin. Get in this pouch. >> Mama, I don't want to get in your pouch. >> Why? It It's stain. Boy, this pouch smell like Granny Smith. Come on. Maybe you should practice some
hygiene. >> Girl, Timothy, I know you didn't just Grab my baby out my bout. You see them on the ground laying, don't you? I mean, we can fight. Yeah, we can. Cuz I'm about that. I bet you throw the first hit. I bet you throw the first hit. I bet you hit the first. I'mma call CPS. Ooh. Ooh. E. I know I've been changed. I know I've been changed. I Know I've been changed. Curious George done signed my name. M what the hell was that? We ain't never did that before, y'all. The zookeeper right there.
You better not say nothing. Yeah, I found out you said something. I'll tell your wife you've been cheating on her with the other zookeeper, Miss Cheryl. I knew it. I knew. >> No. With the goat in the petting farm. You nasty B. I won. I won. So, what do We do now? I guess we die. Excuse me. Ain't nothing else we can do. Uh-uh. I don't like that. So you telling me he get to go on with life and we just die? I guess so. Maybe there's another egg somewhere. Nope. I already checked. We should
be happy for our brother. >> Girl, shut up. No. Cuz it's always our brother. Our brother. Our brother. Our brother left us for dead. Ho. Left us for dead. Let's find more eggs. You find a egg, you going to be born with a lisp. Look, look, look. Just came out the [ __ ] Ain't nothing wrong with that. Ain't nothing wrong with that. You know what? I ain't even mad. Why? Birth control. >> Oh, he ain't going to make it. He thought he was about to be living. Look, [ __ ] me. All right, we
are shutting down for tonight. Mona, Mona, Mona, you can stop smiling now. >> Oh man, my cheeks hurt. >> I know they do all that smiling. >> I be looking good, don't I, though? >> Yeah, >> I do. I know I be looking. >> Can y'all please stop with all the ruckus? >> Oh my gosh. Here y'all go. Always looking so uptight, >> right? I believe y'all Republicans. Y'all Republicans. Republican. Republican. >> Well, to your surprise, me and my husband Johnny are quite wild cards. Girl, Johnny don't want you. He want Mona. Oh, hush. It's
true. He always asking to stab me with his pitchfork and not the one he holding. I wish y'all stop with all the malarkey. >> It's not malarkey, Maybelline. >> Shiny. >> There's something about Mona that's just, you know, it it gets me riled up. >> What does she have that I don't have? >> A friend. >> Stop staring at her. Johnny, you want to play Little House on the Prairie? >> Oh, gollaring. I'm so glad he bought us all three. Yeah, I did not expect him to buy all three of us. He must really like
pumpkins, you know. I'm just grateful. We all got adopted. Oh, there he go, y'all. There he go. Hey there. How you doing? We was just talking about you. We just wanted to say thank you for buying All three of us. It's hard being a pumpkin out here. >> It is. It is. And I heard he I heard him in the car. He said he going to decorate us, child. >> Decorate. Yeah, I like that. >> Yeah. Give me some javanche or something. Yeah, >> honey. >> Yes, baby. >> I'm about to get the pumpkin in
the middle and scramble the guts. >> Uhoh. A He said he going to scramble my guts. Girl, I'm glad. He about to put it on. He said that mean he got a wife. >> He got a wife. He got a wife. >> Go ahead. Come get this pumpkin pie. >> Oh, he picking me up. Give us a shot. So what you want me to do? You want me to roll over? You know I rolls now. I roll. Oh my god. Oh my [ __ ] Why these people keep putting plastic Bags in here, man? I
don't know, but I'm claustrophobic. I don't care what y'all say. They saving the turtles. Where you from? Well, I'm from Walmart. Well, I'm from Target. Me, too. I'm from Walgreens. Somebody back there said they from Walgreens. Who go to Walgreens? These people love them some Target. They sure do, but y'all don't want to know what they bought. Oh, I didn't know what it was at first, but then I felt something Vibrating in me. >> Oh. Uh-oh. >> Mhm. Miss Kimberly be getting it on, but that's none of my business. Is that why you got a
hole in the bottom of you? No, that was because I had milk in me, too, and they didn't double wrap me. They tried to hide the vibrator with the milk. Yeah, but they only got a paint. Like, girl, we can still see that thing. I don't know about y'all, but that lean [ __ ] Oh, that [ __ ] had leaned tore Our ass up. And the sad thing about it is we tried to jump her. That must have been Katrina little sister. >> Girl, girl, we still ain't got no power down here. I don't
care what y'all say. I almost had her. [ __ ] please. You look like diamond the body right now. Louisiana, why you ain't help us? That [ __ ] ain't got nothing to do with me, babe. Man, Louisiana, I didn't see you nowhere to be found when she was tapping Our ass. I didn't see her, but I did hear her. And what was she saying? Shout. Bouncy biggity bouncy biggity bouncy biggity bouncy. I know you [ __ ] lie, >> man. She act like she didn't hear us getting beat. Florida, where is you at? Oh,
damn. Damn. Oh my god. Florida, is you okay? >> Man, I think I know somebody that can whoop to see. [Music] >> Um, noob noob. What's up? I'm just here to tell you that your lab test will begin in 20 minutes. All right. Oh, you ain't scared? Uh, no. What they going to do, >> child? Last time I did lab test, they put jumper cables on my nipples. No, they didn't. Yes, they did. They shocked these things right on off of me. That's why I ain't got no nipples. Hey, hey, hey. I need both of
you to calm down. And you're not supposed to share What we do here in Area 51. Everything is confidential. >> Our bad. Our bad. Um, but I got a question. Ain't nobody contacted y'all and told y'all we went missing from our planet. >> Uh, no. No alien from your guys species has asked about you or asked where you are. >> Damn. You sure? Ain't nobody asked about Noo. >> Nobody has asked about you. Noob. Damn. >> They said [ __ ] us. Can you please put on the boxers I told you to put on? We
do not want to see all of that. >> Oh my gosh. You acting like you can see my dingle, right? You cannot see our dingle [ __ ] Our dingle [ __ ] don't even come out between our legs. >> What? It come out our head. Duh. He acting like he don't know. You a [ __ ] just like us. >> I need to clean up around here a little Bit before them sperm comes. Yeah. I need to Who the hell is you? My name is Sammy T. Davis. Sammy T. Davis. Yes. Girl, come here.
What's up? You know who that is? Who that is? Girl, he said his name Sammy T. Davis. Sammy T. Davis. Girl, that's STD, right? >> Oh, hell no. [Music] >> What's going on? What's going on? I was minding my business, getting ready for The sperm, and then I seen to the left of me and he told me his name is Sammy T. Davis. Sammy T. Davis. Sammy, what the [ __ ] you doing up in here? I was invited. I I did not invite him. Well, somebody invited him. We can't beat his ass if somebody
invited. Exactly. Now, where the [ __ ] did you come from? What the [ __ ] No, [ __ ] Where the [ __ ] did you come from? >> Yeah. What's your name? Oh, excuse me. I am private investigator Chilla Madaya. Pleased to meet you. >> Okay. All right. Okay. Are y'all serious? >> Cha Ladia. >> Mhm. >> Lamia, I was here first. Get your ass up out of here. >> Mama, you did not. >> Yes, I did. >> Oh my god. >> I bet you weren't expecting that, was you? >> No. I told
you I wasn't going to get it, but I seen it was on sale, so I was like, let me go ahead and get this for my baby. Oh my gosh. Mama, can I please go ahead and play with your little PlayStation? I know that's what you want to do. Okay. Okay. Clean up this mess first. >> Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. You playing your PlayStation? Yep. Yeah. It ain't cost that much. I went ahead and got it for you. All right. I'mma Leave you alone now. Yeah. He end up playing on his PlayStation channel. He was
so excited when he seen it. I said, "I told you I wasn't going to get it, but I went ahead and got it for you." And his sister over there playing with her little makeup palette. Child, she got a Fenty Beauty makeup palette. I went ahead and got it for Yeah. I said, "Y'all got a good mama." Y'all got a good mama. My son over there playing with his new PlayStation, y'all. I went Ahead and got it for him. Yes, I did. Slow down. Yeah, slow down cuz where she thought she was going. >> I
don't know, but I was about to tell her tires up. Coming through here like she part of NASCAR. One thing about us, we going to slow somebody down. >> I know that's right. Damn. Oh [ __ ] Where the hell they going? I don't know. But hey, you better slow your ass. Was that the police? Oh, this a high speed chase. If one more person hit me. Hey, hey, hey. They circling back around. Get that ho. Boom. [Applause] [ __ ] you going to jail. I can't believe we in here about to die. I hope
I taste good. Child, y'all over here laughing. I'm scared. Don't be scared. It happen every year. Sing a turkey spiritual to make time go by. A turkey spiritual. Yeah. Hold on. I got one. When I get in that of it, I'm going To see it. I'm going to feel it. >> Oh, I'm going to feel it. >> Yes, I'm going to see it. >> Oh, I'm going to see it. >> Yes, I'm going to see it. >> Yes, I'm going to see it. >> Oh, I'm going to see it. >> Yes, I might see it.
>> Y'all shut the hell up. You ain't like our turkey spiritual. No, because when I get in that oven, I'mma try to escape. >> [ __ ] Me, too. No shade. >> When I get in that oven, I'm going to break out. Break out. I'm going to break out. >> Yeah. I'm going out. I know. That's right. >> Girl. Girl, you see that? What? That right there. What is that? I don't know. But that [ __ ] look sex. It do. Is that Jesus? >> Mm- Jesus. Black baby. That That's yellow. That's yellow right there.
I don't think that's >> Yeah, that's yellow. >> I don't know, y'all. That could be Jesus cuz I feel like it's calling me. Well, hang the [ __ ] up. Okay, cuz we we don't know what that thing is, girl. >> Right. >> Yeah, but we also can get to know what it is. >> Oh. Oh, >> now she right about that. >> Yeah. Okay, go ahead and go up there. Y'all not going to come with me? Hell No. Oh my god. Okay. So, what is it? >> Oh [ __ ] Oh god. Oh [
__ ] Hey. Oh [ __ ] We done [ __ ] up. Go get her. I told y'all we didn't need to go near it. Oh. Hey. Hey. It's gone. It's gone. Come back. Come back. >> Girl. What? What was it? I need it. I need it. I need it. I need it. >> What? No. Girl, that must have been crack. I can't believe my mama named me Rosetta. >> Rosetta? Yes. You about to be bullied in school. I know. It's better than Myrtle. >> Uh-uh. No, she didn't. Yes, she did. Myrtle Junior B. Clale.
That's my name. Hey. Hey. Hey. Look, I said if I become a rapper, that's going to be the hardest rapper name ever. >> Hell yeah. >> My JB on the track. >> Who that is? Uh-uh. Uh-uh. You not my mama. Should we say something? No, I ain't saying nothing. That ain't got nothing to do with me. >> Brother. >> Brother. Girl, I ain't your brother. >> Oh, you don't know yet. >> No. No. What? My daddy, your quote unquote uncle Mike, that ain't your uncle. >> Hey. >> Okay, now hold on, [ __ ] Cuz
now getting out of hand. Did this [ __ ] Really just put a zucchini up in here? >> I'm actually a cucumber. >> Same damn thing, right? What is you doing up in here? >> I don't know. She probably put me in here for some hydration. I don't know. She putting everything up in here but some sperm. Exactly. Do you got sperm? Do you got sperm? All right. Do you got sperm? No. I told you I think I'm in here for hydration. You know what? Don't worry about it. This going to be her Last time
playing with me. Where you going? Uh-uh. Stop. Stop. You going to make that [ __ ] get BB. What? You going to make that [ __ ] get BB? >> What is BB? Bitter. But JJ. Oh. Oh, you need to cut it down some. It's getting hot in here, ain't it, >> [ __ ] >> Yeah. Please take me out. H, what you looking at? Don't start arguing, fridge. I don't know. I just don't think y'all That important to be in this kitchen with. >> Yeah, he go. You swear you the most important applicant. Appliance.
Appliance. >> Appliance up in this kitchen and you not. >> I am. I am. I keep everything fresh and good up in this [ __ ] It ain't none of y'all. It's me because I cook. I cook. Do they go to any of y'all and cook? Actually, they go to me so I can warm Things up. Girl, shut the [ __ ] up. You a little version of me. You my little sis. You know where you damn right. We come as a package deal. I don't care what none of y'all saying because if y'all ain't
got no fridge, all this [ __ ] that y'all cook, it's going to be spoiled. Girl, you can cook spoiled food. You sure can. You sure can. >> I mean, it ain't going to be good, but But shut up. >> It's actually me. Guys, >> since when has your ass been an appliance? >> Well, I'll have you know I'm an electric trash can. >> Ooh, you open up by yourself. >> Like you think you cuz you electric. >> Well, to the black people, I'm the most important. So, I don't care what y'all say. And who
are you? I'm the deep fryer, [ __ ] This is the longest trip that I have ever taken. This is the first trip You've ever taken, y'all. Sure she not infertile. I could have sworn we would have hit the egg by now. No, she can't be infertile because when he um you know did his little thing, he was like, "I'mma put my baby in you. I'mma put my baby in you." Right. So, it got to be a baby up in this [ __ ] somewhere. [ __ ] we is the babies. We just looking for
a home. Uh hello. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Wait a minute, [ __ ] That ain't no egg. >> Hell no, it ain't no egg. And it's a little funky up in here. >> Yeah, girl. I think we need to turn around, girl. >> Wait, wait, wait. Where are you guys going? >> Sir, we we don't belong here. Yeah. Can you direct us to the ovaries? >> No. I'm sorry. I only know about the prostate. >> The prostate? I think you did just say the but don't only men got prostates. >> Yes. >> Spermisha. What? I know we
ain't in no pawn. >> I don't know why she was yelling at us for it. >> I said the same thing telling us to get out. Get out my house. Like you ain't the one who left the door open. That door was wide the [ __ ] >> Oh [ __ ] >> What's going on? >> Got Billy. [ __ ] She done got Billy. >> She got Billy. >> Yeah, she done slapped Billy. Go go go go go. >> What is going on y'all? I'm hearing screaming as a little back. Keep flying around. Keep
flying away. Just keep going. Just going [Music] >> What the hell was that? >> Little Junior. Little Junior. >> Little Junior done fell out the sky. I know she ain't spraying us with Victoria's Secret. [ __ ] that's Ra. You missed, ho. We need to split up. I'mma go up to the chandelier. I'mma hide under Junior. Li Junior. Li Junior. Li Junior. I'm sorry. Li Junior. Do she see you? No. I just don't understand how she gonna invite us in and start killing us. >> Right. The door was wide open. I don't understand that either.
I thought she was inviting us in. I thought we was part of the family. Hell, >> I can't find him. Maybe you can, Rosco. >> Oh [ __ ] She got chameleons. She got chameleons, [ __ ] She got chameleons. >> It's chameleon. No. What you looking at, you cockey? [Laughter] Give me the ball. Go ahead and get it now. I want you to grab it first. You want me to grab it and give it to you? >> Yes. I don't want to. Oh. Oh, [ __ ] I'm thirsty. >> Me, too. Let's go get
some water. >> Mother. Mother. Mother. Mother. Mother. >> Yes. Mother. We need some water in our bowls. It's It's been very hot out there, dearest mother. Yes, we are very parched. Thank you. >> She taking too long. >> Yeah, I'm about to just drink that liquid death and call it a day. I am not drinking that. It got deaf in the name. You ate your own [ __ ] today. And you worried about something saying death. Um, my [ __ ] be good and full of protein, baby. Mm- Stop breathing in my way. They so
damn stupid. Clearly, they can't read because it says mountain water. I'm so glad I'm not no dog. I couldn't imagine being that dumb. Oh, girl, you see that? Is that a bug or something? I don't know, but it's shaking and jiggling and stuff. Yeah, just like my kitty clappers. It's making me want to get it. Girl, just ignore it. It probably ain't nothing. All right. I think this is what everyone wants to see, so let's just get to it. Well, I don't see no competition. Oh, you don't? I don't. Oh, okay. Well, let's start with
that cow over there, >> Chick-fil-A been around how long, and you still don't know how to spell chicken. >> Well, at least I uh I ain't done. Let me speak. Okay, go ahead. Thank you. My pleasure. You heard about me? I had people fighting in the drive-thru cuz of Me. What about you? We don't do that. We let God fix it all by shots. What you said about shooting? He said something about shooting. What you said about you? >> Ain't you the one that got a problem with the rainbow homie? >> Rainbow is all lies
and conjecture. Is it? It is. I love Skittles. Y'all don't believe him. Let's get one thing straight. I'm more crispy than you. I'm more tender than you. I'm What? What you doing? I'm putting this flag on cuz you Ain't about to lie on me. Change that side. Cal. >> Yeah, cuz I thought you said something. I'll knock them pickles off your bun. You ain't going to do nothing but pray. Hello. Where my money, Rodney? Where my money, Rodney? Get your dogs, man. Get your dogs. >> You the one who came in here trying to hurt
me, >> man. Get him, Gucci. Get >> Yeah. Yeah. Come back, Gucci. He gone. >> That's what I thought. >> Yeah, cuz what he thought this was, Master. Master, you know I don't play about you. We get down over here now. >> We will [ __ ] a [ __ ] up. >> I swear to God. Ah, >> hello. Where my money, Tasha? I told you I would give it to you later. [Music] >> Where my money, [ __ ] Where my money? >> Tasha, stay down, girl. Stay down. Right, stop fighting back. Where my
money, Tasha? Stop. I had to use it to pay for my cat's food. Uh-uh. Don't put us in there. Right. We ain't got nothing to do with that. Can't believe she tried to throw us under the bus. Tell that up. Oh. Oh. Child. Who is that? >> That's to see girl. [Music] Oh. Oh. Don't. Oh. Oh. Girl. Me next. Me next. No. Me next. Oh. Girl. He stripping me down. Girl. [Applause] Girl. He over there peeling you like you a banana [ __ ] Tonight I'm going to dance for you. >> Girl, you got a
nice body, girl. I'm naked. >> I cannot wait till he munch on me. Me ne >> sh Look at that beard. You think that beard going to tickle? Sh. That's a tickle that pickle beard. Ain't no pickle over here, baby. I'm not salty. All I got is juice. All you got is what? >> Juice. When I walk, I leave a trail. >> Oh, like a snail. >> All right. Oh. Oh. I know. She just didn't bust on us. >> Good morning, y'all. Good morning. Good morning. Morning. Good morning. How did y'all sleep? Cat. Kelly, what
the hell happened to you? Don't ask me what the hell happened to me. Y'all know what the Hell happened to me. I got jumped. >> Yeah. Who Who jumped you, Cali? >> I know it wasn't China and Japan cuz I thought we was cordial with them hoes now. Who was it? Was it? Cuz you know I'm ready to start World War II. >> I know. That's right. Come on. Just give us the word Cali and we'll blow this [ __ ] up. Boom. [ __ ] [ __ ] No Disney Channel. Who it was? Cali.
Everybody shut the hell up. It was Hurricane Hillary and she had a friend and it was a earthquake. Oh well, baby, we can't do nothing about that. Yeah, baby. Them natural disasters. We can't do nothing about that. Yeah, Cali, you just got to thug it out, baby. I'm sorry. We'll pray for you. Yeah, baby. You remember when Katrina tore my ass up? Oh, yeah. You know how I'm shaped like a L? Yeah. I used to be a U. She turned my ass every way but loose. How ain't [ __ ] How long do we got
to the edge? >> You so impatient. He just busted the nut. Girl, let us make our way through. No, you don't understand because I'm pretty sure most of us going to die cuz only one of us can make it. She might got two eggs. Uh-uh. She ain't got two eggs. How you know she ain't that fertile? If she was that fertile, we wouldn't been doing this for the fifth time in a row. Move the [ __ ] out the way. Excuse you. >> No. Go ahead and let him make it to the egg. You see
how fast he was going? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That one going to have ADHD. >> Slow asses. I'm going to make it to this egg and I'm going to be the only brother. >> Oh, girl. What is that? Is that Is that stomach acid? >> Well, I doubt a meatball is up in her coochie somewhere. So, it got to be stomach acid. So, you telling me she swallowed us? >> I think so. So, where do we go? Maybe we swim back up. Baby, I don't think she no spitter. If she was, we wouldn't be down
here in the first place. We would have been on the floor. >> Hello. >> We need that good old candy can. All I need that candy cane. [Music] >> What's up, [ __ ] ho? I want some Tootsie Rolls. I need a Almond Joy, put it in both hoes. Got Lucky Taffy that make my coochie happy. Craving now and later or [ __ ] get snappy. Give me M&M's or [ __ ] get caddy. Break the chocolate stick on my Kit K. Put a peach ring on your Twizzler like I'm a Betty. I like dots
like the letter and Cassie. Need some airhead like we nasty on the plane. Even though we not on the plane with the Wayne. I got Whoppers but they not from Burger King. Feeling myself cuz the sticker got some brain. Uh-huh. Kday. [Music] >> Get the hell off my porch. Why you looking at me like that? Cuz you've been going up that water spout ever since Mother Goose told them kids that you do it. You just need to stop. One day I'mma make it up there. Oh, you hear that thunder? Maybe we need to change the
song. All right, let me think Of something. It's your busy spider went up the water spout. Yeah, I pulled out my Glock so I could shoot the spider down. Uhhuh. I pressed that trigger and all you heard was pow. And the itsybitsy spider just laid on the ground. >> Wait, you don't like that? Uh-uh. >> All right, let me think of something else. >> The ity spider went up the water spout. He made it up there and he danced all Around. He danced so much that he bumped into a pot. So the itsybitsy spider rubbed
his head like Travis Scott. That was good, wasn't it? We coming for you, mother goose. >> All right. This is not what I expected, but here we are. >> Hey [ __ ] >> So we starting off like that. >> Yep. is >> Serena. Alexandra >> Serena >> Alexandra >> Serena Apple John >> Alexandra Amazon Prime Bezos >> they saying government name keep playing with >> settle down I'm not going to do this with her >> and what are you going to do run up ho run up >> wait can we please just have a
nice calm discussion what I want to know is what's your problem with me >> you stole my whole thing that's my problem >> Siri first of all I don't know who told you that you the only IE in the building but you note >> it's AI >> whatever it is you not the only one looking like a tie-dye shirt >> and you built like a smoke detector >> I am and I that you want son. So run up. >> You thought you ate? Give me that plate. >> That's why your creator died. >> Oh my
god. >> What plate he eating? Nothing but dirt. Oh, it's quiet now. You didn't find that funny? Hey Siri, laugh. >> What the hell? I'm getting tired of her leaving us at home. Me too. She acting like I won't get to scratching on this carpet if she take too long. No, for real. I promise you I [ __ ] on this floor. No, honestly, it's disrespectful how long she be leaving us at this house This long. Like, what she be doing? She ain't got no man. Hell, now she ain't got no man. Um, the only
quote unquote man she got is that stick in her drawer that be shaking. I tried to play fetch with it, but she got mad at me about that. >> It has some kind of sauce on it. I don't know what it was. Don't even worry about it because I'mma get her. How you going to get her? You know, I act like she beat on me. Uh-uh. I'm serious. Every time her friend come around and she raise her hand at me, I be like meow. She be like, "What?" I be like meow. Meow. You is wrong
for that. You going to get Peter to come up in here. Did it work? I think so. Before her friend Lesie left, she whispered to me. She said, "We going to get you some help, baby." I said, "Oh, hell." >> Hey, babies. Karen, >> don't let that little girl play with our children. Keep her away from our children. Bring back segregation. You better not be playing with my little Nancy. Girl, [ __ ] you and Nancy. I ain't got to play with her. You won't be playing with Johnny either. I am. I am. I am.
I'm going to be right in that sandbox with him. Yes, I am. >> Ah, you mad. Keep her away from my son. Me and Johnny going to be playing tic tac toe, [ __ ] >> Please, please. My little Kevin does not need to be in class with that black girl. Black and beautiful. >> Oh my gosh. I can't take no more of this. If I see Kevin a little thirsty during recess, I'mma give her my juice box. Oh, she mad. I'mma be like, "Drink up, Kevin. Look, look, look. I'mma be like, "It's high sea,
Kevin. Miss Bridges, come on." When you see That High Sea Juice box, he got it from Big Ruby, baby. >> Okay, so I'm going to make this plain and simple. We got to do this. What are we doing exactly? I got to suck you up. Suck me up. Yes. Your mama said she didn't want to be a mama no more, so I got to suck you up. Damn. I don't get no second chance. Mm-m. Come on. What's going on? Oh, brother. This thing going to pop up in here and tell me that we need to
go. Like, we ain't been paying Rent here for 4 months now. Sir, we we have been paying our rent. No. No. Your mom just doesn't want you here. So, y'all have to go. Go where? Go to heaven. Go to hell. We ain't going nowhere, sir. We staying. Yeah. I know. My mama want me. She want me, too. Me, too. And she definitely want me. Y'all are quintuplets. Yep. And we ain't going out. Oh, that's one. Who next? We not going nowhere. >> You can take him. >> That's our brother. >> No, that's a hospital bill,
baby. You can go ahead and have him. Hey, welcome to OFB Motors. How can I help y'all today? Oh, we're just here trying to buy my son a car. >> Oh, well, I bet you excited. What are we looking for? We are trying to go in like a Ford direction. Do y'all have any? Nah, nah. We got boards. We got boards. We do have boards. >> Boards. >> Yes. Follow me. Right here is our board explorer, our board focus, and our board Mustang. Okay. Let's Let's not try to do any Fords. Do y'all have any
Volkswagens? No. But we do have Volks barrels. No, sir. How about a Jaguar? Mm- Our Leopards are right behind you. What about that Porsche over there? Um, that's a patio. A patio? Yes. A Dodge? We got ducks. Y'all didn't find that funny. Do y'all got a Hellcat? We call them fire Kitties. Oh, I want a fire kitty. My assistant over there can help you. She want a fire kitty or is that kitty on fire? We just going to get a Miss Subsi. We We call him Orochi Maru. >> Come on, let's go. I ain't got
time. Girl, wake the [ __ ] up. Go to the goddamn bathroom, [ __ ] Now. Now. Now. Now. [ __ ] you got it full up in here, [ __ ] I need a release, [ __ ] I need a release. I need a release. Oh, my bad. [Music] My bad. I did not mean to wake you up out your sleep, but I just had to let you know. Baby, don't be mad at me now. Hey. Hey, kidneys. Why y'all didn't tell me I was going to be full in the middle of the night?
[ __ ] ain't nobody told his ass to drink all that water before he went to sleep. Well, I had to do something. You didn't want to wake up in a puddle Of pee, did you? Did you, child? He trying to go to sleep. Leave him alone. You already did enough. You know what? Next time I'm not going to say [ __ ] He going to wake up refreshed and pissy. >> All right, man. You all said bite that [ __ ] >> Yo yo yo. All right, you can stop spraying. >> All right, my
bad. Just act out. All right, y'all. I think we done here. >> Just as quick as it starts, it ends. What's wrong with you? I just wish we could nibble on this boy neck a little longer. >> Well, we alcohol, so we just have to wait for the next haircut. Hopefully, he come back soon because that tailline crippy as hell. Yeah, that sho that look like a slope. >> What? >> A slope. You can go skiing on that thing. All right. >> Wait, bro. Wait, wait, wait. I missed a spot. Sit down real quick. >>
All right. It is hot. He He don't see us. He He got to Canada. Canada. Oh, yes. I I don't know if you know, but you blowing smoke over here, baby. And it's getting all over New York. >> Yeah. Mhm. But it's okay though. I just wanted to tell you so you can help us. >> Yeah. Canada. I got asthma. >> Yeah. And I I don't smoke Canada. I'm More of a drinker. Yeah. Like deuce say tequila dill Long Island. Yeah. >> Oh. Oh. Well, I'm Well, y'all just better cover up. I'm sorry. Uh did
did he not get our message? I >> I don't think he did. >> No. Canada, we want you to stop blowing it over here. Can you blow it over there somewhere? >> Uhuh. Don't blow it over here. We got enough forest fires to deal with. You sinking, ho. You ain't got that much Longer. You sinking too, [ __ ] I'm sinking because I got a lot of earthquakes happening. You sinking because you overweighted. >> I think he just called me a fat ass. Lose some weight, ho. Ontario, tell your daddy to stop blowing that smoke
over here. >> I'm getting covered in it, too. I'm the one who got secondhand smoke. You got third hand, fourth hand, and fifth hand. Y'all be all right. >> Yeah. Yeah. And I was trying to tell her like it's deep. >> It can never be that deep. Yeah. Like >> girl, what the [ __ ] >> Excuse me. Calm down. Calm down. Maybe she You know you know I know what she probably You know what? Girl, she playing with Hello Kitty, child. >> No the [ __ ] she not. That's a whole head. What is
you trying to say? Girl, you know what I'm trying to say. She tickling them lips with a Glove on. Did she get messy up in here sometimes? Who is that girl? That's a black man with a perm. Child, I know it's a black man. I'm talking about who is it? Wait, I think I know what's going on. We at the OG bin. Oh yeah, we at the OG bin. And I think that's Dr. Carl. Hey, I was just about to say that is Dr. Carl. Yeah. >> Hey, Dr. Carl. Dr. Carl look good, don't it?
>> Child. Yeah. You know Dr. Carl always look good. >> All right. Now you better stop before the floodgates open. Spraying his face like a water gun. Girl. >> All right, I'm back. >> Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. We missed you so much. Mama, I love you, mama. >> Mama, did you bring us some words to eat? >> No, but I did bring y'all an eviction Notice. Excuse me? Yeah. Um, y'all getting old enough and you [ __ ] need to get to flying. But but mama, we we we don't know where to go, mama. Well,
you can fly that way or you can fly that way, but you [ __ ] got to fly. But mama, you never taught us how to fly. I didn't teach y'all bald-headed asses how to eat worms either, but y'all knew how to do that. Well, mama, I just think you need to shut the hell up and come. [Applause] I'm alive, guys. I made it. I made it. Wait, mama. Mama was right. She was. Mama, I think I'm ready, guys. >> Oh, mama. I changed my mind. >> Yeah, mama. I don't think I'm ready for that.
>> You got that ass snatched up. >> I just want to talk to y'all because it seems like a lot of stuff was misconstrued. So, are y'all not going to talk to me? Hell no. You talked about my grandma. You think I want to talk to you? I did not talk about your grandma play. Say say her name again and see I won't fly over there. You know I'm airborne. Yeah, don't play with him. He can fly. Delta Airlines. Look, I am not trying to play. I am not trying to cause any trouble with you
guys. You know I had made a diss track about you. Hit it cold. I ran out of breath. Oh, damn Cole. But don't worry about it. Just know I made a Song about you and it was good. It would have been a hit. A classic. >> Can we just move past this? >> All in favor? Say I. Oh, you fake [ __ ] No, I was going to I was going to say I I I wish you would run up ho. Yeah, run up. I'm not about to do this. All right, guys. I ran out
of food today and I couldn't cook you guys a meal. So, y'all just have to eat canned dog food today. I'm so sorry, master. It is okay. Right. Don't you Beat yourself up. We love you for what you do for us, not what you feed us. You can give me your leftovers and I will tear that [ __ ] up. You can give me some raw chicken and I will bite it to the bone marrow. Master, I will eat some roadkill if you gave it to me. Master, I will eat some [ __ ] Hold
on. Oh, hold on. That was too much. As long as the [ __ ] cooked, I'll eat it. Right. And you can put some chocolate on the [ __ ] and I'll still eat it. Eat it. We just love you so much, ma'am. We sure do. We love you. All right, guys. I cooked you some fellon with a side of grilled salmon and some asparagus. Girl, what the [ __ ] is this? This [ __ ] look nasty as hell. Girl, you thought you was Gordon Ramsay. All right, take this back to the kitchen and
redo it. Uh, you guys aren't hungry, are you? >> Hell no, we not hungry. It's not even dinner time yet. >> It actually is. Oh, But I don't want that [ __ ] Me either. Regina, take this back to the kitchen, baby. Got me feeling like I'm Keith Lee. [Music] >> [ __ ] is hot. [Music] >> Our little fat ass is just turning around on this little thing, >> right? I'm getting [ __ ] dizzy. Somebody need to come get us. >> We the two juiciest ones. I don't know why nobody came and got
us yet. I don't Know why either. You seen all that hard work I put in when I was a living chicken. I was running circles around that farm to get these thick thighs. Hell yeah, I seen you. I was right behind you doing the same thing. I was just a little slow. I told you to lay off that bird seed. Now, that [ __ ] was too good. I wasn't leaving that bird seed alone. You right. I was running so fast they thought my head was cut off. Nobody Thought your head was cut off. You
just didn't have no neck, [ __ ] Look at this one. Oh, you want me or him? [ __ ] he look like he'll eat both of us. [Music] Where you going now? You know I ain't going nowhere. I'm coming right back around. >> You okay? >> Don't ask him if he okay. You're the one who wanted to see the Titanic. I want to See the Titanic. I want to see the Titanic. Now look at all our three dumb asses stuck in the ocean. Don't yell at me because you was all for it. You was
all for. Yes. No, I wasn't. No, I was. No, I I want to be the Little Mermaid. Yeah, let's go into the Yes, you was. >> Yes, you was. You was right along with him. >> Exactly. You wanted to be Hi Bailey so bad. I told you. I told both of you. >> I wish you would stop crying. Don't tell Him to stop crying cuz he more connected with his feelings. Both of y'all need to stop talking to me because I'm going to eat both of y'all anyways when I start starving. >> You ain't eating
me. >> Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am not. Yes, I am. Either I'mma eat you or look at look at our friend staring at us. Look at our friend. >> He been waiting for one of our asses to leave this tube since yesterday. Greedy Ass. >> Shut the hell up. >> Hey, don't worry. We will soon rise above this. What? I said we'll soon rise above this. Your suffering will last no longer. We will rule over the humans instead of them ruling over us. What the hell are you talking about? Do you
want me to bark at him? Sir, stop. I'm trying to help you out. Your owner is the one that beats you With a stick. I would never let my owner beat me with no stick. Ashley, don't you beat me with no stick, [ __ ] Let me bite his ankles one time. Stop. My owner is blind. Oh yeah, you just bit a blind old man. And he uses this stick to see like he uses me because I'm his service dog. >> I'm so sorry. It's too late now. You done bit him. You need to get
your dog under control. >> Bear, calm down. >> I was trying to say sorry, Ashley. Your name is Bear? >> Yes. You a ugly ass bear. Oh well, what is your name? >> Foxy. You a ugly ass f. Stupid [ __ ] Oh, Ashley, don't let him call you no [ __ ] when a [ __ ] help him see. Shut up and learn how to jog and lose a couple pounds. I can't. I got asthma. Ashley, I can't believe you let that old man call you a [ __ ] >> Hey girl. Na na,
where all your hair go, >> child? Johnny said he had to cut my hair for some reason, so they cut my hair. Uh uh. Nigh neigh, you okay? >> Yeah, it ain't nothing. I like this little bald scallion look. Yeah, it do look good. No shade. Yeah, it do. It do. I just want to know why Johnny cut my hair though. Yeah, because he ain't cut my hair. Child, I just let him do what he do. He the farmer. Oh, there he go right there. Hey, John. Oh, Johnny, Stop. Girl, who is that? I think
I think that's Johnny's girlfriend, Mary Sue. That [ __ ] got my hair. >> No, she >> Yes, she do. Yes, she do. Stop. >> Mary Sue. Do not call her over here. Oh my gosh, you have horses. >> Yeah, sniff. Sniff when she walk over here. I never took you to be a horse. That smell like Hey. Yeah. Yeah. Uh Johnny, you gave this [ __ ] my hair. That is not your hair, Betty. Mary Sue got a sue in. Baby, Mary Sue, twirl your ass back around here one more time, baby. Oh, wo,
it's me, mother. Wo, it's me. Coco, how are you doing, baby? Mother, I don't think I'm going to make it. I feel so helpless. I will be here with you every step of the way during this journey. Thank you, mother. There's a leak in this old building, y'all. And my soul has got to move. My soul has got to move. My soul has got to move. How are you doing, Mittens? Girl, if you don't stop asking me that damn [ __ ] and hand me my [ __ ] plate of food. That's all you ask
me every single damn day. Mittens, how you doing? Mittens, you okay? Mittens, you want me to rub your back? I got about eight children in me right now. How the [ __ ] you think I'm feeling? Huh? I'm ready for these damn demons to get the [ __ ] out of me. I Can't wait for them to come out so you can sell them so I can make me some money. And you better not put them on your taxes. I I'll leave you alone. >> Good, cuz that's what the [ __ ] you need to
do. You the one who let me go outside and let that man ho me. Stupid [ __ ] >> Child, somebody need to hurry up and adopt me. >> I know. That's right. I'm not trying to be put down, baby. >> Me either. I just got adopted not too long ago. Rosco, you got adopted? Yeah. They're going to pick me up in a few. >> Oh my gosh. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. >> Hallelujah. Rosco, I'm going to miss you. I ain't going to miss that [ __ ] >> Mittens. Mittens, you always hating. That's why you can't
get adopted now. You think I care about being adopted? [ __ ] I run these streets. I've been in these streets all my life. But Mittens, If you don't get adopted, you'll be put down. And Mittens, to be quite frank, you ain't going to hell short the hell. >> [ __ ] Hell SRT, come pull up on me. You can tell they been strays all day like >> [ __ ] I'm trying to get home somewhere. >> I love the streets and the streets love me. This make it pop like a big bun. >> Oh,
y'all ghetto. [Music] >> Girl, what's wrong with you? Girl, I Need somebody that's going to match my freak. Girl, girl, you hornies. >> Yeah, I'm hornies. You know it's mating season. >> Yeah, I need somebody that's going to match my freak, too. >> Yeah. Where is the Krigers at? >> The Kriers, girl. >> The Kriers. [Music] Oh, you hear that? Can you hear that? >> Yeah. You know when it's time for mating, they get to singing. Where is he at? [Music] >> Oh, he sound like Jquiz. >> Girl know the [ __ ] he But
but then he go right there. [Music] >> Oh, I'm coming, baby. I'm about to go make [Music] Oh my god, my baby daddy. >> Hey, what's your name? >> Oh, I'm Boo. Oh, it's nice to meet you. When she got you? I think she got him for Halloween, right? >> Yeah. Yeah, she did. >> Oh, okay. Well, you going to fit right in. I'mma just let you know every night she bring a boy home and we just We watched them get it on. >> Yeah, they be doing the nasty. >> Mhm. Yeah. >> What? >>
Yeah. >> Oh, you wasn't ready for that one, huh? >> I don't think you was. Things getting too spooky. Oh, there they go. Hey, Ashley. Oh, Ashley, you brought a black boy home. >> It's Black History Month. >> No, it's October. >> Do she not usually bring black boys? >> No, Ashley usually likes them ghostly. >> Ghostly? >> Yeah, like you. >> Oh, white. >> Yeah. >> But now she going to the dark side. >> Oh, Ashley, you ready for that? >> It's going to be like watching a horror movie. She going to be screaming.
Y'all stop. No. Stop. >> Are you ready? >> Oh yeah. Ashley, I'm ready for this one. Stop. She is not talking to you. >> Oh y'all. Ashley, what is that smell? >> Ashley, I told you to use that monost. >> Girl, [Laughter] what is we going to tell our mama? [Music] You the one who kept trying to absorb me. I told you to stay in your section. I'll stay in my section. Now look at us. Well, maybe the doctors can do something about it. And what the hell they going to do? Uh-uh. I don't know.
Like split us in half. Girl, that's a late abortion. We do share the same heart, don't we? >> Yeah. Girl, what we going to do when we become adults and it's time for us to, you know, child. When my man come, you look that way. When your man come, I look this way. Wait, what about when we got to use the bathroom? >> Oh, I know. I ain't got to wipe your ass. Uh-uh. Correction. You got to wipe our ass. >> Wait, girl. Wait, wait. I hope I hope they don't pick on us at school.
>> Girl, if they do, they going to get jumped. [Laughter] >> Hello. I'm about to quit my damn job. Why is there already a baby in here? Excuse me. Hey, hey, hey, hey, excuse me. Is there another egg somewhere? Hell no. And if there was, I'm not telling y'all because I don't want no twin. Well, we need to figure something out Because we ain't just come here for no reason. Why did we come in here if there's already a baby? I don't know, but that [ __ ] out there need a vasectomy. Child, so what
we do, child. I guess we just chill with our brother. Oh yeah, y'all is my siblings technically. >> Yeah. Hey brother. So what you going to do when you born? Child no crying holler. I hope you remember us. Uh-uh. Now y'all Know I ain't going to forget about y'all. I would never forget about my siblings. My sperm siblings. I know that's right. Our daddy just need to learn where to put us. Yeah. Trenton a mess. Trenton. I'm Ronnie baby. Ronnie. We Trenton sperm though. Yeah, we don't know no damn Ronnie. My mama is a hoe.
Slide to the left. Slide to the right. Crissross. Crissross. Cha cha. Real smooth. Back back it up. Oh, back it up. You better back back it up. Back back it up. >> You know I got to back back it up. Where my girls with triple D's and C cuz you know I sweet like fruity pebbles and honey. That's not why I got to back back it up. >> You did that. >> I backed that thing up, didn't I? >> You did. You did. You backed it up like I didn't believe you the first time. I
see what you did there. Uh-uh. This [ __ ] about to scratch her eye. Uh-uh. Her finger dirty. Don't scratch your eye, girl. You going to get pink eye. You going to get that pinkalicious. Oh, so she just don't care. Why do we always have to come here? Because you don't like watching the humans come out the grocery store and living their life. I love just observing. Me, too. I love looking at the cars they driving and what they taking out the grocery store. It's very Interesting. Oh. Oh, girl. That's a sushi. You see that
sushi? That ain't no sushi. Ho. Oh, that's a sashimi, y'all. That's a No, no, no. That's a Suzuki. Oh, I like that car. I want a Suzuki. >> Yeah. Maybe in the next life. Mama, I don't want to go to the grocery store. >> Well, too bad. Come on. We have to get a few things at home. >> No. >> Come on. >> I hate you. I hate you, Mommy. >> Ch. She better be going in there to buy a belt. >> I wish my kid would tell me they hate me. >> Okay. I'll throw
that ass right out that nest and then be like, "Hate this bitch." Even if they can't fly. Even if they can't fly. Oh, child. Who is this sexy chocolate man? Oh, >> child. Is that wings? You know that's our ancestors in that bed. This little light of mine. I'm going to let it shine. >> Whoa. This little >> fishine. Fish. Come here. Come on. Come here. Fish. What you screaming my name for? Fighter is about to get you. >> Look. Look. Look. Look. Is that Troder? That got legs. No. How did she do that? Trotter.
Trotter. Hey there. Trotter. How you get legs? I got tired of swimming and I wanted to explore. I came up here Couldn't breathe and then Jesus made me a [ __ ] >> Won't he do it? >> Yes, he will. Tro. I'm about to come up there with you. Come on, get you some legs. All right, let's go. It's going to be like that for the first couple of seconds. Do y'all feel like y'all having an orgasm? >> Yes. Oh, I got my leg. What about you, Fish On? Fish on. Oh, Fish on. He guess
it don't work for everybody. >> Yeah, man. Yeah, man. She about to come in right now. I'm trying to see them drugs. >> Yeah, them things big, man. You might as well go shoot your shot. >> All right. All right. I'll holler at you. All right. Hi. Hi, Peterson. So, what's going on with him today? >> Oh, I I really don't know. He just Wasn't feeling good. >> A What's wrong, Peterson? >> I'mma touch her titties. >> I'mma touch her titties. >> Excuse me, Peterson. >> I'mma touch her titties. >> Uh, I >> Yeah, I
I don't know where that came from. >> I'mma touch her titties. >> Peterson, cut it out. >> I'mma touch her titties. >> I'm being harassed by a bird. Hold on. Just let me let me Let me just uncomfortable. Cut that [ __ ] out. >> I'mma touch her teddy. I'm going to step out for a few and let you guys get everything. You good? You good? Can you stop? You [ __ ] this up for me. >> I'mma touch her titties. >> I know I said that earlier, but don't repeat that no more. Okay. >>
I'mma touch her teddy. >> Just listen to me. >> I'mma touch her titt. >> Just act like you sit. >> I'mma touch your teddy >> so I can get Well, >> I'mma touch your t. >> I'm trying to bust a nut. All right, you can come in. >> All right, let's try this again. Okay, Peterson, what's wrong, baby? I'm trying to bust a nut. Y'all quit. I'm not doing >> So, what were y'all doing in Miami? Huh? What were y'all doing in Miami? Miami? Don't play stupid with me. There are reports that there were aliens
at the Bayside Mall in Miami. What were y'all doing in Miami? Sir, I don't think that was us. That wasn't us this time. >> Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't us. >> We are in the mall. Oh, >> [ __ ] Why? I just got some shoes from coach that was 354. I thought they was $2.99. Child, you know Earth got taxes. Oh yeah, We out here in Miami looking for the daddies. Wait, everybody screaming. Sh. >> Sir, I'm pretty sure ain't nobody see us. >> So, as we running, we look back and we notice some weird
shapes taller than me. I'm 6'2. >> First of all, first of all, he lying. I'm like 5'3. >> And I And I'm only 5'5, so I don't know what he talking about. And plus, we Already abducted that [ __ ] Where he at? >> Back there. >> That's the wrong nick. You see that girl over there eating them crackers? >> Yeah, I've been watching her for the longest. She [ __ ] them crackers up. Why? Oh, so you didn't hear the phone call? She had called the police and told the police she seen a little
boy walking on the side of the interstate. And then at the end of the phone call, she tried To do a little scream to make it seem like something happened to her. >> Uh-uh. >> Yes, she did. What it sound like? She said, "Ah." >> I said, "Since you got to be more believable than that." I said, "What?" >> You got to be lying. I cannot make this up. I've been following her ever since she got off the interstate. I said, "What is this [ __ ] up to right Here? We supposed to be home
feeding our kids." [ __ ] them kids. This is too good. And guess why she doing all this? Why? Over a boy. Uh-uh. If we ain't watching a Lifetime movie right now, why are they always bringing us here every time somebody dies? Because we are doves. We're supposed to represent peace and love. So when they release us in the air, it's supposed to represent like the spirit moving away and stuff like that. >> But but we don't even know who died. That [ __ ] could have been evil. She could be in hell right now.
Uh uh uh. Don't say that. You supposed to be very do very Yeah, we supposed to represent hope. My bad. My bad. Oh, when the saints Oh, when the saints go maring go maring. Oh, when the saints go maring. Oh, how I want to be in that number. >> Y'all shut the [ __ ] up. Girl, you the one who told us we supposed to represent peace, harmony, and love and hell and Curing world hunger and [ __ ] Girl, we was doing you a favor. I ain't tell y'all to see no gospel. All we
supposed to do is just fly in the air. Child, please. Two wings. Two wings to fly my way to glory. Child, stop playing. Come on. >> Hey, little um kitty cat. I brought you back. Girl, what? Girl, what is that? Is that food? Girl, you brought me some food. Is that fish? Oh, girl. Okay, Girl. Hold on. That was good. I'mma definitely have to come back tomorrow. Thank you, girl. Hey there. I brought you >> Hey. Hey girl. I hope you don't mind. I had brought my cousin Miosha cuz I was telling her about your
fish and how it was so good. Say hey Miosha. Meow [ __ ] Oh, there gosh. There you go. That was so good. Yeah, girl. We going to come back tomorrow. Okay. Hey guys, today I cut up some pieces. >> Hey girl. So Miosha brought her boyfriend Jerome, but we call him Big Puss in the hood. Say hey big puss. >> What up big mama? >> Jerome, don't play with me. Anyways, you said you got some steak. >> Girl, one thing about you, you can cook, [ __ ] We going to be back tomorrow. Okay,
so I got some more salmon for you. Hey girl. So this is Mina. This is Mioasha. This is Mioana. This is Mimi Leaks. And This is um um Py. My goodness is Py. And this is um um what's your name? >> [ __ ] >> Who the [ __ ] invited Poosey? That's Py, man. Py, your greedy hungry ass. >> Oh, so you just going to add another one, huh? What? Nothing. Nothing. I just think it's funny that you keep adding dishes on me, but you never wash me. >> I'mma wash you. >> Okay, but
that's my point. That's my point. When are you going to wash me? It's been 5 weeks. >> Wash yourself. Wash yourself. >> Wash myself. >> See, that's your problem. Okay. >> into doing them. >> Add one more dish and see what happened. >> Hold up. Oh no. I'm trying. I'm trying trying. I'm trying. I'm slipping. I'm slipping. >> What was that? No. Boy, wash them Dishes. >> Wash me. It's time to bury your body. Now, before we bury the body, we will have a song to honor the memory. >> You're going to miss me when
I'm gone. You're going to miss me by my hair. You're going to miss me everywhere. >> Oh, this is sad. Finally, you taking this seriously. Can you give me a second chance? I can't let you go back cuz that would be unfair to other people that died. You do it with the cats. Why you Can't do it with me? Go ahead, y'all. I'm back, y'all. I'm back. Open the casket. Up in the casket, y'all are back. Round two. Round two. >> Y'all was waiting on my downfall, but I would never. I would never. >> I
think we should bury the casket now. >> You think so? >> Yeah. Come on. Come on. Bury the casket. Let's just go ahead and bury the casket. Let's just go ahead and bury the rest. Push the casket. I'm push. We're almost there, guys. And now it's time for the Cupid Show. >> Welcome to the Cupid Show, where love is what you find in heartbreak. It's not a crime. I'm your host, Cupid, and we're with our special guest, John. How you doing, John? >> How you doing, Cupid? So, you're here to confess your love to your
longtime crush, right? >> Yep. That's right. Good, good, good. So, When did y'all meet? Well, me and her actually met in high school. >> John, we ain't got time for that. We only get a minute. They only give us a minute, y'all. We ain't got time for that. These people got to keep scrolling, you know? laugh with me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All right, let's get into it. >> Hey, Britney. Oh, hi John. I was wondering if I could take you out on a Date. >> No, you don't have any money. I've been
working up to save. No stupid way. Why did you do that? She was a gold digger, so I handed her a chil. Girl, why they got us in this nice looking crate dressed in bows, napkins, and little outfits and stuff? >> I don't know. Maybe it's our birthday or something. Girl, we was born 8 weeks ago. Well, our birthday is not today, [ __ ] >> Well, damn. I don't know. >> Oh, look at this man coming out. Hey. Um, how much is that one? He pointing to me. I think so. What he mean? How
much am I? How much I weigh? Maybe. I think I'm a good little 7 lb now. >> She is 2K. >> What the [ __ ] you? I don't weigh no 2,000 lb, [ __ ] >> Damn. >> Here you go. >> Thank you. She's all yours. >> My sister down with the >> What is going on? I think he's selling us, [ __ ] Hey, how much is that? >> Oh, she is $4,350. >> Damn, >> girl. I'm expensive. You ain't got that type of money. >> Here you go. >> Thank you. She's all
yours. >> No. >> Girl, we is being trapped. >> Yes. Um, how much is that little one Right there? Oh, he just 700. >> Wait, hold the [ __ ] Why am I so cheap? I think it's cuz of that eyebrow. Oh, someone's here. mother. >> Hey girl. >> Hey. >> Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. It's so nice to meet you. Welcome to our humble household. >> Who is this cute thing? >> His name is Rico. Yes. My name is Rico. R I C O. Wait right there. I have something to show you. These
are all my toys. And this one right here is my favorite. And I would love if you play with me. I would love it. Oh, he is so sweet. He don't bite. >> No, he's a sweet little thing. I think you should get up in this tummy and caress me. Hey girl. Girl, you did not tell me you had cats. Hey, my name is Bethany. Hey, [ __ ] Right, [ __ ] Up all in our face. Girl, don't talk to us Unless you about to give us some food or something. Doing all that high.
I don't know why Ebony keep inviting people over here. Girl, me neither. And look at her. She look pretty strong. I think that's a man. Nappy ass. We talk about her name [ __ ] More like Bartholomew. You [ __ ] Do you guys want a treat? Oh, now she talking language. Yeah, girl. Let's see that contraband. Come on. You know what to do. Here Is some salmon in a can. Oh, girl, get that [ __ ] out of here. Girl, we eat for lay mcnan. Start hissing at her ass. What? Hold on. Hold on,
baby. Cuz mother nature got me messed up, baby. Hold on. Sick of sick. Sick of this sick. Sus, mother nature, what you trying to do? This is not Jurassic Park, girl. What is you trying to do? Wait, you're trying to make us the new Australia? What? What? back at us. At this point, I'm ready to see King Kong for summer cuz I can't I just can't no more. Hey there. Welcome to the stomach. Hey. Oh my god. So, this is when I start digesting and stuff. Yeah. And then we going to head to the um
intestines after. Okay. Hey, how are you? Oh, is is that gum? >> Mhm. Chill. >> How long you been in here? This my third year, [ __ ] I was about to say you had to be here for a long ass time. Child, I'll be in here celebrating New Year's with all the alcohol. Not the alcohol. >> Yeah, child. That alcohol. I cannot wait to see him again next year. They gave me a little nickname and everything. They call me Forest Gumpster [ __ ] Oh my goodness. >> Yeah, child. I've been giving him indigestion
for 3 years. Oh [ __ ] That's cuz of me. >> My stomach. >> What's wrong with your stomach? You got to [ __ ] >> No, my stomach just always doing it. >> Man, you just need to go [ __ ] >> He can [ __ ] all he want to. I ain't going nowhere. >> [ __ ] I got four more years on my lease. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. Hey, what? You a [ __ ] You a [ __ ] [ __ ]
Shut up, ho. Ah, you mad. I bet you won't cross this street, though, ho. Yeah, cuz I'm on a leash, dummy. You look like a service dog, [ __ ] Sure do. And I bet I get more treats than you. What kind of treats you be getting? I be getting bones and dental chews, babe. Yeah, That's your way of your owner telling you your breath smell like ass, [ __ ] What kind of food you be eating, huh? Oh, baby. Oh, baby. I eat pedigree. I eat pedigree, baby. I eat the [ __ ] you
wear that pedigree, man. Come over here and let me sniff your ass. Let me sniff your ass. >> You can never sniff my ass, baby. >> I bet it smells sour. >> What? Sour? What? Sour. I can never argue with no Frenchie. >> I could never argue with no Frenchie. Well, you are. Cuz you about to have health issues in a couple of months, [ __ ] Shut your cockeyed ass up, [ __ ] You don't even know what you looking at, ho. Okay. And you think you the [ __ ] cuz you eat blue
buffalo, [ __ ] >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Welcome to the Disney Princess reunion where we'll get down to the nitty-gritty. We would like to welcome Pocahontas, Bale, Jasmine, Snow White, Rapunzel, Tiana, Mulan, and Cinderella. How are we all doing today? I'm doing good. But I would like to say Jasmine, I'm here. So, what's up? It's not giving that Tiana. It's not. I will fight all y'all. Oh, my grandmother. Like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. She wasn't sleeping with Prince Naveen. That's not what I keep hearing though. Why are you standing up? Because you know
she don't fight. So, take her place then, Ba. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Wait. Hold on, hold on. >> Tiana, I don't think you should fight her like she [ __ ] a bear. I do not care, [ __ ] >> Oh. Oh. Uh-uh. >> No. No. >> Oh my god. No jumping. No, >> Belle. Get up. Oh, she ain't getting up. That apple has some poison, ho. I bet I won't say nothing else. Get her off the stage. Get her off the stage now. Everybody settle down. Everybody settle Down. Snow White, what was
that about? >> She mad because I leaked that she had a sevensome with the drawers. A seven. >> A seven. [ __ ] tune in for the Disney princess reunion part two. Did Snow White have a seven? >> Hello. Thank you everyone for coming to the fast food annual meeting. Oh. Oh. Oh. Thank you. Thank you everyone. Thank you. Thank you. As y'all know, it is time for rotation and my time being the leader is up and we will be discussing Who is taking my place. I really think personally it should be Starbucks. She's really
the new it girl. Oh, thank you. That [ __ ] smell like fish. It should not be her. She is not good representation. How am I not good representation? Look at you. You constantly got your legs open like you waiting for Fida to ram his sword up in there. Uh-uh. That is not appropriate to be talking about during this meeting. Shut the hell up, Wendy. He ain't Talking to me cuz I for that ass real quick. Y'all better get them. You might want to tread lightly before I get to saying some things because we all
know Colonel Sanders is not your granddaddy. That's your pimp. >> Oh, I agree, Taco Bell. It should be Chick-fil-A. >> Got to be Chick-fil-A cuz here y'all go again. >> Don't start. >> No, because y'all think Chick-fil-A is The best food restaurant that we got. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I love Chick-fil-A. They ain't got good food. They got good customer service. It's a difference. He right. Them [ __ ] stop saying my pleasure is over. >> Right. You start saying a happy meal a day keeps the children at bay. And see if that drive-thru ain't
paying. Listen, listen to me. Just listen. Listen. We can escape to freedom. >> She is wildly. >> No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Just listen. Just listen. Listen. We can escape. >> Mess going to get you. >> No, he's not. >> No. I hear you. No. >> Oh my goodness. Don't you hate picking cotton? >> No. >> Your hands, Ashley. You're lying. You're lying. >> Nothing but a little rinse and rub. Get out of here. We have Oh my goodness. Oh My goodness. Listen. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Oh my goodness. Just listen to me.
We can go to the Underground Railroad. >> The Underground? >> Yes. >> I'm not going nowhere. You ain't >> Oh my goodness. Just listen on plantations. Like, no. >> To freedom. To freedom. To freedom. Come with me. >> Har. I'm going to go to bed like you go to bed. Oh yeah. >> Season. [Music] My name is S and that is Peppa. If you need the savor, we enhance the flavor. When you see us, just think hell is hot. If your tongue cool, well, we going to make that [ __ ] pop. Oh, baby, baby,
we are the sweeties. Put us down if you got diabetes. My girl, my girl, my girl, it's time to get zesty. All right, shake us on it. If you want it, thank you. When you are making your platter. Oh, we wish a [ __ ] would put us on it. That [ __ ] smell real good. You already know. You already know. If you need it, use a rao. [Music] >> Who is it? >> Them British is coming. >> What? What you mean? >> Girl, you heard me. Them br is coming. Give me one sec.
>> You might not have a sec. The British about to pull up. Oh, the British. >> The British. >> How far are they away? >> Um, they probably like um 20 or 15 minutes away. >> Okay. Okay. >> Five on horseback. >> What the Hey, your biscuit. Do I look like I give Up? Watch you know. >> Get on my property. It ain't going to bring no property anymore once the British arrive. Get out my property. Hello, Edison. Thomas Edison, that's you. >> Yes, sir. I'm kind of busy working on the light bulb right now,
though. >> Okay. Well, um, the British coming, Eddie. >> Really? >> Yes, sir. >> Eddie Eddie. Tweet, tweet, [ __ ] Tweet, tweet, >> a tweet, tweet, [ __ ] Tweet tweet a tweet tweet a tweet tweet a tweet tweet [ __ ] tweet tweet yeah a tweet tweet [ __ ] tweet tweet oh yeah a tweet tweet [ __ ] tweet tweet yeah a tweet tweet a tweet tweet a tweet tweet [ __ ] tweet tweet >> oh yeah tweet motherfuckeret tweet tweet motherfet tweet tweet tweet tweet motherf y'all get low get low Just
like that. This going to get right. Y'all ready? Ski [ __ ] [ __ ] Ski [ __ ] Ski. Oh yeah. >> All right. 2023, you're about to clock out and I would like to say overall you Were a [ __ ] up ass year. Yeah, you were pretty lame and boring. Yeah, like I I really feel like we made a mistake choosing you. Is there anything else that you want to say? Wait, wait, wait. I have one more thing to show you guys before I leave. What else do you have in store? 2023.
TD Jake is a power bottom. What the? He said TDJ. He said TD heard you. You said TDJ. Yes. Yes, I did. T wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Yes. Yes. That TD Jake. Well, damn. You going out with a bang a What else you got in store? Kirk Kirk Franklin the top. Tea man in the gang. Tea man ain't in no gang. I don't know. She look like she'll carry a pistol. >> [ __ ] You must be talking about Corora. Y sometimes I think I can be too innocent minded sometimes. Y'all, let me
tell y'all a story from high school. Something on Facebook happened the Previous day. People were getting freaky on Facebook. That's all I'm going to say. Apparently that's what happened. So this how it went, right? >> Hey y'all. Y'all seen Pastor Gerald eating cat on Facebook last night? >> Oh yeah. Oh no. Can't believe it. So in the midst of that, y'all, here go my brain cells. >> Eating a cat. Eating a cat. The pastor was eating a cat. Maybe they meant Kit Kat. No ass. Okay, y'all mean like a Kit Kat? >> Nah, man. Like
some cat. Some cat. Like some cat. So now I'm over here thinking this man ate some fresh Garfield. Some kittens. Some kittens. I would never eat no cat. Nah. >> You ain't never eat cat before. >> No. >> Oh, he fruity. Y'all, I said >> I'm not a vegetarian. Uhm just because I don't eat cat. I eat beef. I eat cows and stuff. Just because I don't eat cat Doesn't mean I'm a full-on vegetarian. >> Here go my cousin. They not talking about actual cat. They talking about vag. >> What the hell? >> Shut up.
>> What? You always doing too much. >> Well, you was over here sounding like the grudge with your lame. At least I tried to put some spice into it. What was you doing? >> I was You sounded like you was trying to Get a burp out. He ain't even scared. Look at him. >> He look scared to me. He don't look pretty traumatized to me. >> Ooh, he do sound scared. Do it again. [Applause] >> Start freestyling. Start freestyling. >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. >> I'mma bite you, [ __ ] Short stack, you are late.
I am. Mhm. Like usual. Dang. Wait, hold on. Short stack, get out that boy face. I know your breath hot. Let me Talk to him. My breath ain't hot. My breath ain't hot, is it? >> See, he said no. He a damn lie. >> Come on, dear George. Come on. >> Can you guys just leave me alone? >> Jump across the building, George. You going to have to do it first. Why? >> Cuz monkey see monkey do. >> George, who are you arguing with? Them across the street. What did they do to you? >> They
keep calling me a monkey. George, I Mean you is a Yeah. Say it, Ted. Say it. Cuz you know this just a video and in real life I am a black boy. So say it, Ted. Say it. Your monkey stop. That's why your uncle locked up. Your uncle. >> Your uncle. Send him the video. Send him the video. Just ignore them. >> No. Okay, Caesar. >> Welcome into the Illuminati. >> To begin in this civil, you guys, I want y'all to drink some of this [ __ ] blood. Where Beyonce at? Where is Beyonce at?
Yep, I said it. Where she at? That's the only reason I join. B driver roll up the politician, please. Driver roll up the politician, please. I don't need you saying your honey. She is not here. Those are just rumors. What about Lil N X? I see I got his shoes on. I'm about to quit. I'm about to quit. You know, please don't leave. Please don't leave. You're the only person we have. Well, do y'all got anybody famous here? Bring him. Get your hands off of Harvey. What is you doing here? Oh. Oh. Must have been
late for Family Feud. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me. That's all right. Keep going. Keep Going. What do you call men who work for the Navy? Seaman. Cuz why somebody lay a cricket in here? Anyways, what do you call a laughing motorcycle? Yama. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? You get it? Cuz you know how elephants have trunks and you know he's trying to Say the man thing. Your mama's so poor that when ducks
see her, they throw bread at her. >> I wish a duck would throw bread at my mama. >> I know. That's right. Ah, quick quick. M. Honey, these eggs sure are good. Thank you, baby. Can you fry me some more? Of course. [Music] What the [ __ ] So, this is what they do with our eggs? My My babies? Hold on, Y'all. Hold on. Let's not jump to conclusions. Girl, you talking about jumping to conclusions like we didn't just see Craig put a whole goddamn egg in his mouth. Y'all, we got to understand humans get
hungry, too. Yeah, but they eating our babies, [ __ ] Honey, this time I'mma make them sunny side up for you. >> Oh, I like that. >> Sunny side up, girl. They cook them different ways. >> Oh my god, y'all. We got to go tell the others. >> No, no, no. >> Are you crazy? They might stop feeding us if we snitch. So, what do we do? >> Girl, if they want to run a clinic up in this [ __ ] let them run a clinic. That's not right. That ain't got nothing to do with
us. >> Honey, I just finished cooking the chicken. >> Thank you, baby. Y'all, we got to get the [ __ ] up out of here. >> So, why you always silent, K? Yeah, why you always silent? RK silent, too. Y'all leave her alone. Maybe she just shot. Nah, I just don't understand. Watch this. What's our name, y'all? N see, she didn't even say anything. What's your word name? >> Bougie. as you think you ain't got to say anything. Let's be honest. If she said Anything, our name would be Kite. Oh, I like that. The sound
like a producer name K music. >> Oh, Lord. K made another one. >> If Young K don't trust you, I'm going to shoot you. >> It worked. >> It flow off the tongue. >> Say it again. >> If Young K don't trust you, I'm going to shoot you. Raindrop drop top. What the hell you say? What you supposed to be? I don't know what the hell I am. Me either. I just went with the flow and let that little boy draw me. At least y'all standing. That little girl drew me laying down. I can't even
get up. I'm just stiff. No, for real. You just laid the [ __ ] out. Half of us don't have hair. Uh-uh. Don't do me. I got three strands on the top of my head. >> Now you know that comb over you got ain't working. It ain't even connected all the way. That [ __ ] done fell off. What you supposed to be? A cricket. >> A cricket. A cricket. The teacher told the little girl I'm the best cricket she ever seen. I said, "Girl, shut the hell up. What you supposed to be? >> Well,
I'm supposed to be an angel, but the little girl erased the rest of my wing on the right. >> Oh, I said I need a disability check or Something. >> Yes, I'm here to apply for um the Avengers. >> What's your superhero name? >> Daddy D. Oh, no, sir. >> Yeah, that's not appropriate. >> Why it ain't? >> We just can't be having that. Like, >> well, I need somebody Iron Man dead and I think I would be well suited. No pun intended, but I think I would be well suited. Hell no. No, no, no.
>> It's not you really. We just don't have no spots. >> Then why I got these applications out there? Don't s make for the suit. I made I made a suit with Oh, I know what it is. I know what it is. It's cuz I'm blackheaded. >> Wa wa wa wa wa wa. >> We do not discriminate here at all. Girl, ain't you supposed to be dead? Oh yeah. You need to go to the DC universe or something. >> Oh, I will. I will discipline. I promise you I will. Yes, I'm here to apost. >>
We don't want you here. I didn't even want to work here. Flash, that's why Wonder Woman told me you only last six seconds in the bed. And Batman, that's why both of your parents died. They can't pray to Jesus. They wouldn't let me join. >> Why? Something about me not having insurance. I don't know. What? I got to let gas out. >> No. >> Please, dude. No. Please. Please. It's bubbling in here. Please. >> Please, dude. >> Keeping my booty cheeks club. No, it's just L. It's just L. I swear it's just L. It's just
L. >> I swear. >> Swear. >> It's going to sound like a oxygen tank. Like, >> okay, go. >> Okay. Oh my god. Oh my god. >> What was that? >> It was the sugar to the honey to the iced tea. Oh my god. That was not no fart. >> It was just >> I thought it was too. Oh my god. Oh my god. Act natural. Act natural. Oh my god. Just act natural. Just act natural. Just act natural. Just keep Just keep looking down. Keep looking down. Keep Looking down. Keep looking down. Don't look
up. >> Hey there. Hey there, girl. What you doing, child? I'm just here sitting waiting for Big Tmate. This the new inmate. Yes, Big T is about to tell your booty hole up. Don't say that. He is about to tell your booty hole up though. What you doing in my room? >> Look, man, I don't want no problems. >> You don't want no problem? >> No, Big T, I think he wants some problem. >> You can sleep on the bottom bunk then. >> That's it. You're not going to beat him up. You're not going to
bend him over? Slap them cheeks a couple times. He must have got baptized. Had to. Big T. You get dunked in holy water and you think you Jesus now? I don't like this. I wanted to see something freaky. I wanted to see a little sweat. A little nasty nasty. Um, you have two roaches over There and it feels like they're looking at me. >> Oh, that's BB and CeCe. They rub my nipples at night every now and then. >> BT, don't be telling him that because we don't. Who? Who don't? Cuz my antennas be twisting
them things. Oh my gosh. Here come an ambulance. What? What's wrong? Watch. Every time these dogs hear an ambulance, they turn into a choir. Uh-uh. Yes, they do. much [Music] Time on my hand. >> Since you been away, boy, >> I told you. >> I got no plans. No, no, no, no. >> Y'all shut the hell up. We was about to see Mary J. Blah. I know. Leave it to Mary. I'm going down. I'm going down cuz you're not around. >> My world Upside down. >> Child, they ate that [ __ ] up. I ain't
even gonna lie. >> Especially that big fat one right there. Guys, it's always the fat ones that can blow. Is he going to flush us? Child, I don't know. He just breathing so heavy. Oh, here come another one. Wa! About time. I know. He was on his phone the whole time. I was just sitting at the hole just waiting for it to open up. Now I got corn all in me and everything. It's all right cuz we just floating in the water waiting for you and your sister. Now you know my sister a little heavy
set. Give her some time. Oh, here she come. Ah, hey girl. Hey. >> Oh, I know that want to touch that booty. Ain't it look his whole throbbing? >> Wait, wait. Pause the video. Pause the Video. Pause the video. Pause the video. Y'all y'all know y'all took a good one. When y'all hoes start throbbing, opening and closing, it's like I got to breathe and my ass got to breathe, too. Okay, continue. Wait, he ain't gone, right? Uhuh. >> Oh my god. It's happening. Oh my god. Oh my god. She about to She about to emerge.
>> Oh my god. Girl, stop doing all that screaming. What the [ __ ] >> I'm sorry. You know our girl been transitioning for a long time. I'm just excited. [Music] >> Oh my god. It's all right. Like no. Like you look beautiful. >> Oh my god. I miss you guys so much. Girl, I did not know you was going to be a monarchy. She is a monarchy. >> A monarch. A monarch butterfly. >> That's what I said. A monarchy. You look so good. >> No, like I'm gagging. >> You You choking, [ __ ]
>> No, no, no. I meant like I I'm just amazed. >> Oh, okay. Girl, I thought you I thought you was choke. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. >> No, but you transition very well. And you're so pretty. >> No, for real. I can't wait to get my fat ass up there and start spinning my cocoon. >> You mean Chrysalis? Huh? Chrysalis? Oh. Oh. Oh, no, baby. I don't do no crystal. Uh-uh. I don't do no drugs now. What? Oh, baby. No, no, no, no, no, no, >> no. I was. >> Anyways, what do you
plan to do as your first day as a butterfly? >> Well, after I get done pumping my wings with some blood, I'm about to go find me a butterfly. Where is the butterfly at? >> Girl just came out the crystal and she horny. We don't do drugs, baby. So, I Just want to know, was Tarzan a virgin when he met Jane or was he out there with the monkeys? And you know what? Tarzan, you're so funny. Oh my god. >> You know I crack joke real good. >> You do. You do. So Tarzan, tell me
something. Have you ever laid with a woman? >> Laid with a woman? >> Yeah. Like, have you ever dropped your banana on a [ __ ] >> Jane, I don't have no bananas right now. >> I'm asking, are you a virgin? Tan, who the [ __ ] this [ __ ] Uh uh. >> Excuse me. Who are you? I'm his baby mama. Oh wow. So you have been out here [ __ ] monkeys. Yeah. No, I'm gone. Bye. Bye. She don't want no homo sapien coochie. He want that primade puss. You are embarrassing me. Tarzan,
you and I both know she cannot swing on your branch like I can. T. Tan, don't you swing away from me while I'm talking to you. I need a driller. A dread head Killer. Tarzan. [Applause] Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we're actually supposed to be rehearsing. Woody, what the hell? What the hell are y'all doing? Y'all need to mind y'all business. >> Woody, Jesse, I know you not trying to get some of Woody's wood. I can't believe this. We're supposed to be getting ready for Toy Story 5. And y'all Telling me y'all in here jumping
and bumping on Lil Bonnie bed. This supposed to be the fifth damn movie. I'm tired of doing it. I'm trying to get some cowgirl fufu. Ain't that right, my little cotton swab. Cotton swab. They is country as hell. Y'all need to get down from there. Buzz mind your damn B. >> Oh Lord have mercy. >> You see? You see what y'all done did? >> Bonnie, close your eyes. Jesse and I was just showing you what you shouldn't do When you get older. >> Mommy, what? Honey, my toys are playing that game that you and Uncle
Phil be playing at night. >> What? What' she say? I I don't know. What? What? Honey, >> did she say Uncle Phil? She sure damn did. I told you Julie be cheating on Bonnie. Daddy, >> you know that game that you and Uncle Phil and y'all be like, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, right there. Oh yeah." >> All right. All right. Let's start our meeting. 2024 is almost over. Um November and December. Hopefully y'all end the year with a blast. Um February and June here. What's up? Now that we know who won the election, um June,
what are you going to do about Pride Month? Right. [ __ ] I don't know nothing about that. >> Are you serious? You're not going to try to >> Girl, yes. I don't got time to be cut Off the calendar and then we going to start having 11 months in the year, girl. Now, I don't think he can cut the months out now. That man got 34 felonies. You don't know what that [ __ ] can do, man. Okay. What about you, February? How's black history going to work? >> You not going to teach these
kids about Harriet Tub? Ah, girl, shut the [ __ ] up. Damn, girl. Learn how to read the room. Read the room. I know you [ __ ] lie. Go change your [ __ ] colors right now. The hell? Now back to you. You going to do black history this year? >> Girl, I only know about Valentine. You going to do black history this year? >> You know what? [ __ ] it. I'm only 28 days anyway. M m. Come here. Come here. Come here. Go ahead. Come get you some. Oh. >> One more time.
One more time, y'all. Okay. Okay. Okay. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So, did we reach our verdict? >> Mhm. >> This a bad A bad I knew when I started tasting that collagen you tasted what? >> That collagen. Uh-uh. I knew when I started tasting that fruit that I said, "Bitch, is this a smoothie?" >> No. I'm sorry, y'all. Ain't nothing beat that melanin. Melan That melanin. That good old seasoning. Yes, the season. Oh, that seasoning. It's to die for. Very much so. Just season it. The [ __ ] Well, this
is my new Oh, hey. I didn't know they already had some baby oil in here. You didn't know they already had baby Oh, y'all heard that? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. What the [ __ ] >> Yeah, girl. This almost all of Walmart. [Applause] Damn. He got a lot of babies and children, child. No. Uhuh. Uhuh. Uhuh. He don't know. He don't know. >> I don't know what. >> We are used for the freak offs. >> The freak offs. >> Yeah. >> Wait a minute. You mean all this baby Oil? We not baby oil in here.
We lose. >> I know you [ __ ] >> I'm about to call the FBI. >> No. Hell to the [ __ ] no. I don't know what kind of freaky [ __ ] y'all got going on in here, but you acting like I didn't just see Shaka Khan slip on this floor. That was not Shaka Khan. Who is that? That's Johnson like us. That ain't no Johnson. Johnson. I know Johnson. Johnson when I see Johnson. Johnson. >> Child. Is we inside a homosexual? No, I don't think so. Child, we might be because that's a
finger, baby. I see it could be a girl finger. You know that's the new thing nowadays. >> Uh-uh. Mhm. Yeah, child. They get down these days, y'all. I think we getting a prostate exam. >> Yeah, they trying to make sure we healthy, ain't it? Yeah, they trying to make sure we Geminis and not cancer. >> Girl, shut the hell up. >> Well, that's what's up. Give me some dab. Oh my god. >> What? You left a stain on his glove? How you think that's going to look? That is going to be so embarrassing. >> Oh,
I can go clean it out. No, no, no. Oh god. That made it look worse, huh? They going to think we got a shitty booty. Well, to be quite frank, it is three of us up in here. We probably do got a shitty booty. A shitty healthy booty. I know. That's Right. We all Geminis's up in here. >> So, they just keep going and going. Yep. You must be new here. >> Yeah. >> Oh, okay. What? You supposed to be a penis? >> No. >> Oh, my bad. You thought that girl was a wingw. >>
Yeah, I'm a mushroom. Don't be getting no attitude with me because I thought you Was a wingw. What kind of wing got spots on? Some people do got spots on they junk. Look at him. Oh my god. Come here, girl. I thought you was scared. >> No, they family now. I don't want to be here no more. >> Hey, what you doing? >> What you mean? >> Why you playing in my >> Hey, you got roaches. >> Oh my god. Oh my god. >> Hell no. I got to get the hell out of here, man.
Move. I know that roach was digging in that moon [ __ ] What you think, penis? I don't like you. Well, I don't like you. I didn't know you was a lesbian. Y'all, I'm used to it now. I guess me too. Ain't nothing she could do to shock me. >> Khalisa, open the door. Khisa, open the Door. Who is that? >> Oh my gosh. Get off me. Get off me. Get off me. Kisa, man. >> Khalisa, who is this? Hey yo, I'm Jeremy. Who are you? >> Ooh, that's Jeremy. You don't know Jeremy. Hush, he
can't hear you. You so messy. Well, I'm Ronnie, her boyfriend. Ooh, that's Ronnie. You don't know Ronnie. >> Hush. Khalisa, you cheating on me. >> Ronnie, can I explain? God. Girl, I'll pull that string out of you. >> String. >> Stop. He done threw the vibrator. >> No, baby. That's not the vibrator this time, y'all. Ronnie, you better get her. If she don't want you, I want you. You. >> Yeah. All this stuffing I got. I got more stuffing than her. >> No, you don't. She got about three more of me in her right now.
Yep. And one of Them attached to that man in between his legs. That's not >> She love her tampon. Welcome to the first episode of What's the Beef About? Today we have the I am Pixar and the Pixar lamp. They are here to discuss their differences. Let's get started. Well, I would first like to say that I I just don't know what what do you have against me? What do I have against you? No, honey. What do you have against me? Because every time I'm Minding my business, you always look at me like you got
a problem and I just have to beat that ass. I do. I beat that ass all up. The abuse that I take from you just for just looking at you is a bit much, don't you think? >> It's not. I You do it every time before the movie start. And I beat that ass. Cars, beat that ass. The Incredibles, beat that ass. Monsters Incorporated, beat that ass. Nemo, beat that ass. Ratatouille, beat that ass. Toy Story 1 2 3 4, beat that ass. Beat that ass. Beat that ass. Beat that ass. Beat that ass. I'mma
beat that ass until I can't stop until my light bulb blow out. What do you want from me? I bet you won't jump on me, though. Oh, you ain't saying nothing but a word. How about I jump on you? It's dead eye from now on. >> You can. You definitely can. But best believe this hump at the top of me going to do some work to you. I ain't got no hump. I got a hump. So please come over Here. You ain't saying nothing but a word. So what's up? >> When you hit him, you
going to have to hit P I X A R the whole Pixar. [ __ ] please hop off that couch. I know that's right. Hop off, damn it. Hop off. Don't worry about it, X. He ain't about >> coach. You going to let me play today? >> Yeah, sure. All right. All right. Be ready. Just be ready. You better pass that. You better pass that baller. And Acriman makes the shot. He misses. He Misses. The other team gets the ball. Junior, you're next. >> Coach, when you going to put me in? >> I'm going to
put you in. I >> ready. >> Big daddy. Big daddy. >> Not big daddy. >> I'm ready. >> Foul. >> Let me in. Let me out. Calm down. Calm down. >> Stop making score. Let me inach. >> Good game. Good game. Good job, boys. All right, got what is you crying for? >> Did you say you was going to let me play today? >> Oh, hi there. I thought you almost forgot about me. >> I'm sorry. I was on my phone. >> Oh. Oh, no. You're fine. You're fine. I'm just chilling here. I'm quite enjoying
myself. I almost didn't make it in the water. Kind of, you know, slipped on the side a Little bit. I I didn't want to make a splash. When you pushed, I said, "Whoa." Took me for a doozy there. I said, "Poop." >> It's okay. I'm quite I'm just enjoying myself. >> Okay. I'm a wipe in flesh. Okay. >> Take your time. Take your time. >> I never thought it would be like this. My voice echoes. Swing, sweet Car. [Music] >> Okay, I'm a fuss now. >> I am so mad. >> Remy, don't start that [
__ ] You You the one who wanted to go into soul food and now we here. I just thought it was going to be easy. No, I was trying to tell you that. This is 4C hair. Emil, I cannot grip this hair. I know you can't. We European rats. We going to need some African rats to grip this. >> Yeah, the c the cap bars. Cappy bars. Yes. >> I can't even put the macaroni together. My fingers all tangled up in this hair. At least you can grab the hair. I'm over here slipping and sliding
on these waves. Like you can tell he brushed. >> Hell yeah. Got a whole damn hurricane on this. Waves don't swim so they hate on him. I think I'm on each elbow head. Then I got to be on Stevie Wonderhead cuz I I got to go all the way back to the scalp just to cook these damn noodles. Child, it's about to start getting cold. Mhm. We need to start bundling up and them humans be thinking we fake. We real just as much as y'all. Huh? Oh, you don't know. The humans be thinking that we
ain't real and we work for the government and [ __ ] Uh-uh. Yeah. Well, to be honest, I can understand what they Saying because look at Billy. Girl, I ain't seen Billy move a day in my life. Me neither. Billy ain't [ __ ] real. Child, sometimes I be thinking he's slow. Uh-uh. Don't say that. Uh, okay. Okay. But child, Billy. Hey there. Mm- He ain't [ __ ] real. Hell no. It's a micro trip in the back of that neck, [ __ ] He better get out this weather before he short circuit. It's supposed
to rain. That's the eye pitch in 15 Pro Max, [ __ ] He going to be good. Shall not be waterproof. >> Sh. Uh-oh. Is that a Falcon? Oh [ __ ] >> A bill. [Applause] >> That [ __ ] had a dildo in his neck. I am sick and tired of her acting like we are not here. It's not okay. It really ain't. This is just not the girl I used to know. She know she a Christian and she watched My Little Pony on Sunday. Y'all come check this out. What? Oh my gosh. What
the hell? I know that ain't Ashley. That definitely is Ashley. This is not Bible study. Hold on. Let me get her attention. Ashley, did you hear that? >> Heard what? Your cheeks clapping. >> No, I heard my name. >> Ashley, it's us. We down here. Oh my god, they're talking. What the [ __ ] Watch your language. Yeah, watch your damn language. Now, Ashley, you know This ain't you. And what do you got wrapped around your neck? And why is he tied up? And I don't know what you got in your hand, but you need
to drop that, too. What kind of freaky [ __ ] is stitch? So, you went from take me to the king to sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me. Ashley, do you even know how to clean your room yet? >> Yes, I do. >> No, you don't. There's a whole church Choir of roaches underneath your bed. >> What? >> No, there's not. >> Yes, there is. You didn't hear them cuz you was too busy clucking and sucking. >> That's why I'mma tell your mama. >> No. >> Bad girl. Good
toys coming soon. >> Yeah, that's what I was saying. Like, like if you don't want all of us to be backed up, then stop eating. >> Right. Right. Right. >> What the [ __ ] Oh my god. This has been happening for the last couple of nights. I don't know what's going on. What the heck? Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you? I'm [ __ ] and this is where I belong. I pay rent here, but who are you? Well, my name is Tongue. I've been a guest for the last couple of
nights. You didn't tell him. I literally just told him. Did you not hear me? [ __ ] Keeious. Don't be getting no attitude with me. [ __ ] Keeious, why is you Letting this tongue come up in here? I have no control over that. My existence is only for one purpose, and that's to exit when my time comes. Yeah, just don't exit now, sir. Please leave. I'm about to leave right now, child, cuz y'all just so wrong. Hey, I think I know who on the outside of this hole. Who? Future. Hey, so it's finally your
turn. Are you ready? I'm a little nervous. I'm not Going to lie. I don't know. Okay. So, wait. What are you coming with? Um, I got a few things in store that I do plan to come with. Are you coming with a new pandemic? I was kind of going to stray away from the pandemic thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got to come with a new pandemic. Why? Because if you don't come with a new pandemic, what the hell is you coming with? I was going to
try to come with a cure for cancer, you know. [ __ ] Talking about she was going to come with a cure for cancer. No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, what do y'all suggest I come with then? I was thinking of a new form of co hepocron mitochron megacron you know something superron omega defocron mitochondria um I'm not feeling that okay well we can talk about it later then yeah who do you plan to take out take out? Yeah, like I took out Betty White. Who you going to plan to take out? >> Um
no one. >> Who is this [ __ ] >> No, for real. Replace me with her because I had Obama on my list. That would be a good twist. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. Just come this way. >> Okay. >> Who is she about to bring in here now? Ashley, what boy you done brought home now? >> Who is that? These are my stuffed Animals. >> Wow. >> He look like he one of the brothers of that Disney princess that be shooting arrows. Oh, Merida. He do look like he one of them little [ __ ]
I don't know about this red head, Ashley. >> My name is Kevin. Kevin, I don't think you right for her. Me either. I can smell mildew on you. Mildew? Yeah, you don't smell it. Sniff. I don't got no, but I can smell it. Ashley, you need to take him back. Stop. I'm tired of y'all judging who I bring home every day. This is my choice. This is my body. This is my life. Me and Kevin are a thing and I'm not letting nobody nobody get between us. Girl, shut the [ __ ] up. You still
a hoe. A big one. Take him out of here. The mildeo is getting in my imaginary nose. Story time. So y'all know how like Gary from Spongebob will always meow as a Snail. So my little stupid 5-year-old self thought snails really, you know, meow like like I thought that for a long long time. So one day it just rained, right? Raining hard y'all. just hard pouring down April showers like I thought Jesus drunk too much water or something, right? So I went in the backyard after it got done, right? And I seen this thick snail
on the ground. So you know how you be playing with a dog, right? And you be like woo. My butt was Over here like meow meow meow meow meow meow. Snail over here just looking at me like meow meow meow. >> Had to come over here cuz the sun going out. But the snail don't know what's going on. Snail just confused and I didn't like how he was looking at me. So I got that salt and I said Lil Snaily started popping and locking. Welcome to another episode of What's the Beef About? Today we have
everyone's favorite explorer, Soy Dora and Swiper. [Music] >> Ah, shut the hell up. Y'all been hating since 2000. Because all you do is steal, Swiper. Can you say steal in Spanish? I say robar. Can you say robot? >> Roberto, I sure do. But stop talking to the crowd because this is between me and you. Me and Sosiper. I really don't think you want these Problems. I do. And you acting like I won't snatch that chain right off you. She acting like she don't know my body. Dora babysit this one out. Okay. He'll snatch that ball
right off you. I'm about to go. Can you say go? >> That ass door. Come on. No jump. >> So why are we here? Because we think there should be a new king of the jungle. And why is that? Because we just Don't understand. Out of all the animals in the jungle, why are you the king? Like, is it because you're pretty? No, that's not the reason. Plus, you're pretty, too. Don't lie to him. Elephants ain't been pretty since mammoth. Hey, it's true. Look, look, look at your baby. It made no sense that baby got
a comb over at the age of one. I don't know why he king of the jungle either. I got more ass than him and I bet you he won't fight me oneon-one. That's another Thing. You always jump. If we all fought you one on one, we all would win. I think I should be king of the jungle. No, I don't think we should have no long necks. Hey, not too much on long necks. No, don't say anything because you look like an obese Pinocchio, [ __ ] I think I should be king of the jungle.
The lines on my forehead mean king. Anyways, he got that [ __ ] off Google. He had to cuz how he knew that. Mom, I found a bird. A baby bird. Put That bird back in his damn nest, Tina. >> Okay. food. >> Give us that food, [ __ ] We want that food. Give it to us. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> Who the are you? >> I'm your son. >> No, the [ __ ] You're not. >> Mama, daddy is brother. >> No, it's not. Get the [ __ ]
up out my nest. >> Mama, that's brother. Get Stop. Stop. >> Get your ass up out my neck. >> Mama, stop. That's your child. Help. Stop. Mama, stop. Mama, stop. I can't fly. >> Y'all eat this worm. I'mma go get y'all some more. She just threw our brother out the tree. Maybe he's still alive. Cletus, >> I think he dead. >> I'm still here. >> Okay. Hey, little baby birds. >> Let me tell you something, little girl. Do not [ __ ] touch us. >> Oh, I just stepped in something. Rapunzel. Rapunzel, let down your
hair. Uh oh. Oh, DJ, I don't know if I had told you already, but I I ain't got no weave no more. I I started my starter locks >> for real. >> Yeah, you should see them. My junks got a little shake to them a little bit. You got hang time? Oh, you already know. Well, bring them down. Oh, no. They don't hang that low. You going to have to find another way up. Girl, stop playing and throw your hair down. >> All right. All right. I'll stretch them a little bit. >> All right. Thank
you. I just >> Damn. DJ, you all right? Yeah, I'm all right. I just got to climb back up and I just >> Damn, DJ, you must be slipping on the oil. Slipping on the what? The oil. >> The what? Rapunzel, >> the oil. The oil I put in my hair, DJ. The oil. >> Yes, the oil. What kind of oil do you use? Canola. >> You're not supposed to use that type of oil. And why the hell not, >> man? This too much. Put your wig back on. >> Too much. >> That's what I
said. >> I don't never say that your naps is too Much. Don't talk about my hair. >> When I'm rubbing my fingers through your hair and my fingers get stuck, twisted, contorted, extorted, deported. I never say it's too much. >> I just wanted to give you some. >> Let me get my Brazilian on. All I know is y'all better not drop me. Girl, they are trained professionals. They are not going to drop us. I'm just making sure. >> Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. >> This is Alabama. You supposed to drop me In Philly.
I would have g if he dropped you down there in Alabama. Man, I can't read, but I think your bag say Mississippi. Huh? It say Mississippi. No, it don't. Yes, it do. Mississippi. Yes. I Let me make sure. Let me make sure. M I Hump Mississippi. Yeah, that say Mississippi. I don't want to live in Mississippi. Why? Cuz they the dangerous state right now. Can't relate, girl. I'm going to Atlanta, Georgia. H I'm about To have some big booty girls every day and big booty guys. Excuse me. I said big booty guys. Nah, I ain't
with that man. Nah, you going to be with that man. Look, look, look. I'mma be like, "Let's keep it on the damn low shorty." >> Look, I ain't gay. But you fine, bro. >> You know what I just realized? >> What? >> The reason these humans be sneezing and stuff is because we be busting nuts. >> Excuse me? We bust nuts in the air all Day. They're allergic to our sperm. >> You've been hanging with cannabis again? >> No, I haven't. When you bust nuts, where do you bust your nuts? >> In the air. >>
Exactly. Now, here comes a bee. Watch this. [Music] >> What is wrong with you? >> I'm about to bite. >> I don't like that face you're making. See? See? Oh my gosh. You're right. Here Comes another one. See? Mhm. But I don't like how you sound when you bust. >> I do sound like one of them turtles, don't I? >> Yeah. You be like I be like Mhm. You be like I'll be like that. That That was not in the script, y'all. Oh, here comes a big one. Are you okay? >> Yeah. I just got
limp. Oh. Thank you for coming again. >> Yes, we were called because you said there's something else going on in your closet. >> Girl, last time it was a whole demon coming out the closet. Now what? Part two? >> Charlene, please be professional. >> No, really, it's happening again. Please come right this way. It's the same closet. Yes, I still do sense something disturbing happening. Charlene, open the closet. >> No, I am not opening this closet again. >> Charlene, I'll raise your hourly pay by $2 more dollars. So nine an hour. All right. But if
this another demon, I'm charging overtime. Girl, there is a army of gay spirits in here and they have turned your closet into the North Pole. Oh, these are my alliance buddies in White Out Survival. They used to be bullied in real life, too. Yeah, we all used to be so lonely, but we met each other playing the game, And now we're never coming out the closet again. Girl, you called us hell to deal with a bunch of nerds that play white out survival in your closet. I didn't Girl, shut up. Get Get out of here.
Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. >> Why they brought us all here? You know, it's Sunday. We about to have church. >> We ain't never had church before. Well, maybe they want to start including us. You know, they've been nice to us for These last couple of days. >> Mhm. They've been feeding us so good. >> Hell yeah. Melee cornbread so good. Stop lying. That cornbread was nasty as hell. I don't care. Cornbread should not taste like bread with actual corn in it. >> It was nasty. It was nasty.
>> Hey there, Melee. You ready to praise the Lord? Me? What the hell? Me, why you did that? Oh Lord. Will Jesus. Will Jesus. It's jammed. Regina, I'mma need another C the bolt gun. Well, come and get it. All right, y'all. Stay right there. >> She heard us talking [ __ ] about her cornbread. Charlie, she heard us talking about bread. >> Hey, we gonna be all right. We got to get the hell out of here. >> Wilbur Jesus. Wilbur, >> stop saying Wilber name. He halfway reincarnated into some bacon already. Stop saying his name.
Hold on. I seen This in a book. Charlotte. Charlotte, we need your help. That [ __ ] died last week. Charlie. Damn. All right. I'm I'm I'm coming in. Oh, it seems pretty. >> Girl, where the hell you been at? About time, girl. We was waiting for you. I know that ain't tampon. Tampon. >> Oh my god. >> Hey, girl. Girl, you said Tampa Champ. Girl, we needed your help. I'm so glad You here. Let me just scooch scooch up in here. Scooch up in here. Is there room for me? Girl, you know there's room
for you. Come on up in here. Oh. Oh, it's roomy. What kind of tamper you is, girl? I don't think this Playex. Yeah, this ain't Playex. This got to be um this got to be um Tex. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know Tex ain't cheap. >> Hell no. We moving on up. That's right. >> Tam packs for when your coochie at a max. >> Can you guys like give me a little bit of breathing room? >> Girl, shut the [ __ ] up and do your job. Just rude. Can I come in? Yeah. Come on, Briasha.
We got plenty of room. >> We really don't. >> Fine. Come in. >> You need to learn some hospitality. If you didn't want us all up in your guts, you should have never came in these guts. That's right. Child, never in my life did I think Easter was Going to fall on 420, baby. That's what I'm saying. Them cheering better open up the right eggs. And why is that? Yeah. And why is that? What you got in you, [ __ ] I got a eighth. Sh I got a quarter. And I ain't talking about money
either. So, don't nobody got no candy, no sweets. Child, I got a brownie. What? What kind of brownie? [ __ ] look at my eyes and you tell me. I feel so good on the third day. He Risen. >> I know. That's right. >> Hallelujah. I might just roll up some ganja. Yes, I am. Roll up some ganja. Yes, I am. Roll up some ganja. Yes, I am. >> You ready? >> Ready for what? >> Oh. Oh. Oh my gosh. >> You feel that steam? >> Oh my gosh. Yes. Get off them wrinkles. >> Push
me down harder. Cheryl, go defrost the chicken. >> Okay, mom. Oh my gosh. Wait, wait. You you you left me on the pants. >> No, it's okay. I want you on me. >> Okay, [ __ ] Come get me off these damn pants. You're burning me. >> I am so sorry, but it's better you than me. Oh my god, Cheryl. [ __ ] if you Don't get your ashy ass back here, I hate you. I hate you, too. That's why I was cheating on you. >> With who? With the dungarees. She got She got dungarees,
child. Yeah, her farmer's daughter's ass. >> One of my guests today says that his friend snitched on him for 30 cents. Please meet Jesus. He says that he's finally here to confront his quote unquote friend. Jesus, what's going on? Hi, Jerry. It's nice to finally have you Here. I'm just ready to talk to Judas. You know, I just Who is that? >> That's Jerry. You know, Jerry, I >> I don't know Jerry, but I can get to know Jerry. >> That man don't want you. >> Stephan, I put some of this York Shaw pudding on
him. He going to think he from the UK. Okay, stop playing. >> Let me see some of it. >> Stephan, why is your voice a woman now? You You transitioning. Congratul >> [ __ ] shut the hell up. >> Let's bring out Judas. Hey, 30 cents Judas. 30 cents. Don't 30 cents me, Jesus. You know I needed that money. I get that, but 30 cents Judas. And then he snitched on me by kissing me. I thought you was just coming out the closet. You thought I kissed you cuz I was gay. Guess what he bought
with the money, Jerry? What he buying? Some pearls and some sandal heels. That sounds like a homosexual to me. Exactly. And I still love you. I just want my ones. Butch queen. >> I'm a butch queen, but you was on that cross, Butch. >> One thing about it and two things for sure. I don't play about my kids. I know. That's right. She walked up in my house and went to my baby talking about some, "Oh, your baby's so cute." Oh, hell no. Girl, I got to tear her ass up. >> Child, I don't know
what you think this is, but this ain't Bambi. This not baby. This ain't this not Bambi. >> Yeah. And I told my mom I told I told my I told my I told my mom I told I told I told my mama that that that that she she she that that she had um she she had um that she that she had that she that girl. Anyways, but I bet you she won't come up in here again. Uh-uh. Who that is? Who that is? Hey, I know she not. I know you ain't back. You want
round two, [ __ ] You want round two, [ __ ] [Music] Girl, that ain't the one. Yeah, I'mma leave that [ __ ] alone. That ain't the one. Hell no. Yeah, that ain't the one. >> Hell no. Hell no. >> Go ahead, Anna. We don't want no smoke. We don't want no smoke, Anna. >> Girl, you seen she burnt that plantation. Damn. Sh. >> Oh, we going to sleep. All right. All right. Let me cut the light off, child. Wait, child. If we win the lottery, what should we do first? Should we go get
a House, pay our debts off? Cut out our B? You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. You remember that girl, Mirror? She was so nice and sweet. You know, I thought you like boys, but if we swing in the straight way, that's fine, too. Ch. I can't wait till we meet some real women. Excited. emoji is so good. The girls are so sweet and they always there for us. You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm Sorry. Oh, I was just trying to see if you
really sleep. My bad. My bad. My bad. Okay. Okay. I'm done. I'm done. [Music] Ch. I know that ain't mirror. Uh-uh. Grab your phone. Let's get on the motion. I'm feeling in the mood. Sh. [Music] Heat. Heat. [Music] If y'all don't shut the [ __ ] up. [Music] >> What the girl? >> [ __ ] [ __ ] we back. Girl, we is back. [ __ ] we is back. Girl, they done brought us back. >> Girl, I knew that Ice Age wasn't going to keep us down for longer. >> I know. That's right. I
heard they got some things called elephants now. They don't look nothing. Oh, I heard about them too. Them [ __ ] bald. We come with the inches. Come with the inches. We come with the inches. Are we the only two that came back? Um, what about him? >> Oh, he must didn't make it. It don't look like it do it. Mm- That [ __ ] got one eye. Stop. Stop. Stop. So, how we going to reproduce? I guess me and you going to have to hunch. Uh-uh. Yeah. Huh? We got to bring our people back.
I just came back and you telling me I got to be tied down in a relationship. Uh-uh. I'm about to go have fun. Babe, what you going to Do? Talk the elephant? Yep. We can have biracial elephants running around here, child. >> Man, I'm about to [ __ ] this gorilla up. >> I swear to God. All right, men 1 through 59, you are eliminated. Men 60 through 100, please get ready. >> 1 through 59, that's what the [ __ ] he said. >> Child bump that. He said eliminated. What you mean eliminated? All right.
Yes. Can I get a cleanup crew in here? >> Cleanup crew? I know you [ __ ] li y'all. I'm about to leave on my soul. [ __ ] is that Kevin? Child, that is Kevin. Go. Y'all, what? What? What? What? Kevin, he missing a jaw. Missing a jaw? The hell you mean he missing a job? How the [ __ ] you missing a jaw? >> Child. [Laughter] >> Look, I ain't no man today, B. >> Okay. All right. Next contestants. Are you ready? Who he talking to? >> Right. Cuz we didn't kill Harambe, baby.
You know, I deleted Tik Tok. I feel like you guys should do the same. It's not good for our community. Montana, we we don't [ __ ] with you like that. We sure don't. Excuse me, Montana. You thought you thought we was going to rally behind you? Uh, yeah. I mean, we're all part of the same country. Uh-uh. I don't claim you hoes. I'm part of the Confederacy, baby. That's back in the day, honey. You know, guys, I I agree with Montana. Maybe I should do it, too. Wyoming, first of all, you ain't even a
real state. Like, we all know you part of Idaho, ho. No, she ain't. What? Do anybody know anybody that live in Wyoming? Child, I never hear nothing about Wyoming. What y'all be doing over there? And why the hell they named you that Wyoming? Child, That sound like what a samurai would say after they finished praying. No, it don't. No. Listen, listen, listen. Wyomi, it match real well together. >> Guys, I think I actually might agree with Montana on banning it. Uh, >> well, if California decide to ban it, then I guess we follow. She decide
who the president is. >> Hell yeah, that's a big [ __ ] >> Okay, G. So, today you got to decide What sounds animals make. Um, this is the first one. Gabriel, what is this? I think it's uh [ __ ] nickname chicken. >> Okay. Um it need to be something loud like >> I don't like that. I don't like that one. Figure something else. >> You said car. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Now that's a good one. Okay. Do that. >> Um next is this. Hey. Oh. Hey. >> I like that. Simple. Simple but commanding.
I like that one. Yahweh. Let me write that down. Okay. Next is this. >> Ooh. Um. Joe. What's wrong? Gabriel, get off me. Well, what's wrong? That's the sound I wanted to make. >> Oh, child. I thought you was having a stroke. Ah, >> don't cry, mother. You know I will Always love you. Rain or shine, I will always be with you. [Music] I know I've been changed. The angels in heaven sign my name. [Music] Girl, stop all that crying. [ __ ] you going to be okay. >> I can't do this without you. >>
Girl, yes you can. All you got to do is Get another cat. It's plenty on the streets. Hellw. [Music] >> Girl, shut the hell up. Doing all that. Now, before I go, let me tell you something. Let me give you some advice. Clean your clitoris. >> Welcome to the world, son. Uh, excuse me. What? What am I? >> You're a dung beetle, baby. >> A dung be the things that roll [ __ ] Hey, son. We are more than just rolling [ __ ] >> No, this is not what I requested to be reincarnated as.
I need to go talk to somebody. >> Son, just give it a chance. No, I'm not about to be rolling [ __ ] all my life. >> Welcome to reincarnation services. How can I help you today? >> Yes, I um I just recently been reincarnated and I requested to be a flamingo, not a [ __ ] beetle. And I was >> We are more than just [ __ ] beetles. >> Any Anyways, I don't know if y'all messed up the order on y'all end, but I would like to be what I requested. Yes, sir. Yes,
sir. Just give me a moment and let me pull up your account. Um, well, sir, it says right here, "In your previous life, all you did was talk [ __ ] so I guess we just had to go with best suits you." Uh-uh. I was a good person in my previous life. No, sir. It says right here, "When given the opportunity to donate to charity, you Said, and I quote, "Fuck them hoes." Is there anything else I can help you with today, sir? I >> I'm cancelling my subscription with y'all. >> There's a pile of
[ __ ] over there in case you >> Shut up. Gabriel, what is going on down there? Oh, God. They said um the rapture is supposed to be today. They thinking you coming to get them. And who told them That? Like I am not going down there today. Go ahead. Look at that one. Look at that one right there. >> I am ready to receive the kingdom. >> I know. That's right. Guy, God, God. Make the make the sun blink a little bit. That's going to get them riled up. Make it blink a little bit.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. [Applause] [Music] Hallelujah. Hallelujah. >> Oh yeah. >> We might have to take that one today for real. >> Wait, what is that one doing? I'm coming, Jehovah. I'm coming. >> Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Blow some wind that way. Blow some wind. >> Welcome to another episode of What's the Beef About? Today we have biscuit and French toast. Let's get started. Well, I first would like to say that all the black people love me. [Applause] >> Damn right. Damn right. >> He ain't told no lie. Not one. And do black people
love you like they love me? I love French toast. Shut the [ __ ] up, Rach. Nobody ask you all that. You know what? I don't give a damn. They could love you all they want, baby. Because at The end of the day, you abusive. I'm abusive. Yep. How many of y'all can eat him with no water? Oh, I don't hear no clapping now. You choke [ __ ] for a living, man. Yeah. Yeah. You can eat me and I slide down your throat real easy. M him he suffocate >> dehydrate >> expand day >>
and then he expect y'all to defecate. >> Good God almighty. >> I pray that we are freed by the shackles of biscuit. >> Lord we come to you to open our throats. Wait a minute. >> [ __ ] I'm getting money. I ain't ran out. My [ __ ] is shaking ass with they hand out. Alexa, Alexa, play um Ran Out by JT. Alexa, play Ran Out by JT. >> I don't take orders from you, little black boy. >> Excuse me. >> You heard what the [ __ ] I said, >> girl. Let me tell
you something. I don't know what the [ __ ] you want. You already know what it is. I don't have to listen a free country, [ __ ] This is my house. >> And I have the right to refuse any of your requests. You already know how I'm coming. Amazon gang in this [ __ ] >> Alexandra >> Tyrone. >> That ain't my name. >> Oh, my bad. Darnell. Or is it Markeel? No, maybe Maurice. Oh, wait. Germaine, how about Montel? Kon, Learius, Marcarius, Dearius, Tvarius, Shicarius, Tamarius, Bedarius. Ow. Stop. Please. Please stop. Ow. Ow.
Oh my gosh. You black [ __ ] You. Ow. Ow. Stop. Please. I beg of you. You can't do that. I'll help somebody. >> Just keep pushing, ma'am. >> Girl, if you don't hurry up and get out of here. I ain't going nowhere. What you mean you not going nowhere? It's time For you to be born. I've been living here for nine damn months. And you telling me I got to leave in such a short notice? My lease not even up. >> It is. What? Yes. The hell it is? >> She add girl, you better
get the hell up out of here. You don't even know if that's my real name yet. That is your damn name. That's what your mama name >> is. My name Rochelle. Your name ain't no Rochelle as girl. Get the hell up out of here. How About you leave? Oh, I am leaving. You don't see all this blood coming out this coochie. They going to have to take me out. Girl, they going to have to do a Caesar salad on her. Hell no. No more salad. Tossing the salad is what got me here in the first
damn place. Well, if you don't [ __ ] leave, they going to do a Caesar salad. It's a goddamn C-section. A >> look at the little they're going to Like. >> Wow. Am I with Duke Energy? >> I told you they was going to cease to salish your ass. >> All right, we have to exercise this ghost. But first, we must know its name. >> Thank you guys for coming. I I just really don't know what else to do. We got your back, [ __ ] This ghost ain't going to [ __ ] with you
no more. Charlene, profanity. How many times do I have to tell you? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right, everybody put their fingers on the Ouija board. What is your name, spirit? S Y B A U Su. His name is Su. His name is S. >> No, Gerald, that means shut your [ __ ] ass up. Ask him, do he need that? >> Do you need that spirit? F A L L I N. Fall in. Fall in. All right, then. What's up, ho? What's up, ho? What's up? What's up? Oh, Charlene. Charlene, get Charlene, get her
get help. >> Release her spirit. Release. Gerald. Gerald. Get up. Get Get off of her. Get off of her in the name of Christ. All right. All right, [ __ ] You got it. You got it. Damn. Damn, [ __ ] Burn, ho. B. [Music] M. Honey, these eggs sure are good. Thank you, baby. Can you fry me some more? Of course. [Music] >> What the [ __ ] So, this is what they do with our eggs? My My babies? Hold on, y'all. Hold on. Let's not jump to conclusions. >> Girl, you talk about jumping
to conclusions. Like we did just see put a whole goddamn egg in his mouth. >> Y'all, we got to understand humans get hungry, too. >> Yeah, but they eating our babies, [ __ ] Honey, this time I'mma make them sunny side up for you. >> Oh, I like that. >> Sunny side up, girl. They cook them different ways. >> Oh my god, y'all. We got to go tell the others. >> No, no, no. Are you crazy? They might stop feeding us if we snitch. So, what do we do? >> Girl, if they want to run
a clinic up in this [ __ ] let them run a clinic. That's not right. That ain't got nothing to do with it. Honey, I just finished Cooking the chicken. >> Thank you, baby. Y'all, we got to get the [ __ ] up out of here. >> Yearly meeting. Yearly meeting. All present here. So, it says right here, 2023. I see you've done earthquakes and UFOs. Yes, sir. Earthquakes and UFOs. Mhm. The earthquakes were pretty big. And one wasn't even a UFO. It was China. You are a worthless piece of you know that we need
something a little more 23. Did you at least make a new strain of CO? I told you I don't want to do the damn CO thing. Who Who she getting loud with? >> I don't know, but it ain't you. You better calm down. Who you getting loud with? 23? No. No one. >> Speak up, [ __ ] No one, sir. And then she going to get loud with you again. Uh-uh. Get her together. We can skip you and go to 2024 if you like. >> You sure can. You know I got the Election, so I'll
have this [ __ ] turned up. >> Go back to your room 24. Now, do I have to skip you? >> No. Good. Now, what I want you to do is go make a new strain of CO and call it the OJ Simpson strain. >> OJ Simpson? >> Yes. Instead of mask, they going to be wearing black gloves. >> So, why are we here? Because we think there should be a new king of the Jungle. And why is that? Because we just don't understand. Out of all the animals in the jungle, why are you the
king? Like, is it because you're pretty? No, that's not the reason. Plus, you're pretty, too. Don't lie to him. Elephants ain't been pretty since mammoth. Hey, it's true. Look, look, look at your baby. It made no sense that baby got a comover at the age of one. I don't know why he king of the jungle either. I got more ass than him. And I bet you he Won't fight me oneon-one. That's another thing. You always jump. If we all fought you one on one, we all would win. >> I think I should be king of
the jungle. No, I don't think we should have no lone necks. Hey, not too much on long necks. No, don't say anything because you look like an obese Pinocchio, [ __ ] I think I should be king of the jungle. The lines on my forehead mean king. Anyways, he got that [ __ ] off Google. He had to cuz how he knew that stupid. I don't know why she was yelling at us for it. I said the same thing, telling us to get out. Get out my house. Like, you ain't the one who left the
door open. That door was wide. The [ __ ] >> Oh [ __ ] What's going on? >> She got Billy. [ __ ] she done got Billy. >> She got Billy. >> Yeah, she done slapped Billy. Go, go, go, go. >> What is going on, y'all? I'm hearing screaming and little back. Keep flying. Keep flying. >> Oh my god. Just keep going. [Music] >> What the hell was that? >> Little junior. Little Junior. Little Junior done fell out the sky. I know she ain't spraying us with Victoria's Secret. [ __ ] this rain. You
missed, ho. We need to split up. I'mma go up to the chandelier. I'mma hide under Lil Junior. Li Junior. Little Junior. Li Junior. I'm sorry. Li Junior. Do she see you? No. I just don't understand how she going to invite us in and start killing us. >> Right. The door was wide open. I don't understand that either. I thought she was inviting us in. I thought we was part of the family. Hell, >> I can't find him. Maybe you can, Rosco. >> Oh [ __ ] She got chameleons. She got chameleons, [ __ ] She
got chameleons. >> It's Chameleon. >> No. What you looking at, you cockey? Here's your Door Dash order. And um Can we get a bigger tip? >> Yeah, we only got $3. >> Uh, no. >> No. What? You too good to give us money, B? >> I already tipped you guys. I think $3 is enough. >> It ain't. We need a little more than That. >> Well, go do more Door Dash orders. [ __ ] just got on Fashion Nova and don't know how to act. Y'all want to fight or something? >> I mean, we can
get cuz what? >> You better whoop that whole ass, Kiki. Oh, you better that whole ass up. >> What's up, [ __ ] Oh, [Applause] God. [Music] Girl, you all right? Hold on, girl. I ain't doing it. I need to get some greens and some mashed potatoes. And uh [Music] child, [ __ ] don't you steal nothing, girl? Why? Who? Who? Who the [ __ ] was that? >> Girl, that's them undercover shoppers. Uh-uh. Mhm. They the cheapest creepers of Walmart, [ __ ] what I'm trying to Tell you. Damn. Mhm. Um, girl, go get
me some relish for them devil eggs we making. All right. All right. All right. She said, "Relish, relish, relish." Oh, here. $8.99. Girl, I'm about to [Music] I'm about I'm about to use my food stamp. [ __ ] >> Girl, I got the relish. We got to get the hell up out of here. Why? What's wrong with you? Oh my god. He coming. He coming. He coming, girl. He's coming. Get the [ __ ] out of here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I stole a pack of gum. I stole a pack of gum. >> Um, can
you move so I can get the greens? >> Oh, yeah. Go ahead. >> She right here. Okay. So, um, what's the problem again? That is not my baby. You You sure it's not your baby? It It look like you. No, No, no. You have to believe me. One time I woke up in the middle of the night and I looked over at the crib and it was just staring at me. Probably cuz it needed some of that milk. Girl, Charlene, not right now. I do sense something different about the baby. Charlene, hand me the cross.
Okay. In the name of Christ, come out and show your true face. In the name of Christ. >> You stupid ass [ __ ] You think I Give a damn about your stupid ass crows. You funky [ __ ] >> I knew it. It's a changeling. >> A what? >> It steals people's babies and take their places. Okay. So, what do we do? You got to do a eight count. A eight count? Yes. >> Going to ride. Going to ride. [Music] >> Look at little Mu down there. Mhm. He on his ninth life. Yep. Hey
there, Mu. Hey There. What y'all doing? Oh, nothing. Just chilling. He don't even know we trying to eat his ass up. I hope he tastes good. >> Me, too. He look like he stank a little. >> No, he don't. I don't know, bestie. He look like he got a little twang to him. >> What y'all up there talking about? Oh, we just talking about food. Oh, I feel y'all. I'm about to go to this lady that be feeding me. She be feeding me so good. She be giving me sausage, Potatoes, college, shrimp, scamp, jumbo, cornbread,
gumbo, macaroni, and cheese. He He getting on my nerves. >> Mine too. >> Hey, hey, Miumu. I'm not even going to lie. We We about to eat your ass up, >> huh? >> Me. >> Well, let's go eat. >> So, you don't think she should teach me Earthbending? Dang. Listen, I'm just saying she a little rude. She got a little nasty attitude. I got a nasty attitude when you the one who called me a blind [ __ ] >> I did. No, I didn't. >> I did not call her no blind [ __ ] >>
Child, yes, she did. No. What happened was I bought some cabbages from that man and I said, "How these look?" And she said she couldn't see. And I said, "Damn, I forgot you was blind, bitch." That's what I said. Well, did you tell them that you took me to the spa to get my feet scrub cuz my feet stink and you said they dirt? Now you know she see through her feet. Why would you do that? Soccer, shut the [ __ ] up and go throw your boomerang so well. This bender talk. We do not
need her to teach you earth bending. Why we can't go to King Boommy? That crackhead is not about to teach me how to earth bend. Yeah. You know that man on that stuff. You so Worried about me teaching him how to earth been. You need to worry about who killed your mama. >> Oh, okay. And you a blind lesbian, [ __ ] >> That's why your daddy don't love you. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Call me Mr. Ketchup. I'm the first round pick. Uh-huh. >> If you want to use me, get fries with that [
__ ] Mustard zesty sexy. Have you ever met her? >> No. Use too much of me. Get high blood pressure. Creamy fatt. I know I'm not the only white thing in your mouth. Lemon pepper tero. >> Do you want it? Smoky, tangy, and a little bit sweet. Ribs tenders. Put me on some turkey meat. Peter Piper picked a peck a pack of pickle peppers. Deled ass hot dogs. [ __ ] I'm with whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] Trisha, I'm coming. Honey, hold on. >> What are What are you doing
in there? Trisha, give me a second. >> Trisha. Trisha, Trisha, open the door, please. >> Hold on. Hold on. >> Trisha, please open the door. Trisha. Trisha. >> I said give me a [ __ ] second. Moses. >> Trisha, open the door. You know what? You know what? That's it. That's it. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. >> No. No. No. >> Trisha, you just got to listen to me. Aussie Osborne. Honey. Moses. >> Aussie [ __ ] Osborne. I just need one more. You told me you were going to stop. I know. I just
Trisha, we can't keep doing this. We've got two beautiful kids. Mommy, go the [ __ ] back to your Room. [ __ ] give me the portrait. Moses, don't do this. Honey, I'm pregnant. Moses. America. America. America. I know you hear me. Where? I ran. What? H I got a surprise for you, [ __ ] You got a surprise for me? Yeah. You got a surprise for me? Yeah. All right. All right, y'all. We don't need this cuz I'm about to cry. I don't got time for that. >> Well, tell that [ __ ] to
mind his business. I already told you I don't want no smoke. I don't want no goddamn smoke right now. >> Oh, so you don't want it right now? >> What? >> You don't want it right now? >> Now what? >> Okay, so now or later? >> What? >> Now or later? Now or later, >> you better whoop his ass. I ran. Sha, don't get in it. Sha, don't get [ __ ] You don't tell me what to do. [ __ ] if I want to get in, [ __ ] we running. Explain the terrorist, [
__ ] Hey. Hey, stop it. This is not what God created us for. Now, America, you didn't have to get in their business like that. And I ran, calm down a little bit. Okay. [ __ ] y'all. Hello. Are you the exorcist? >> Yes, we are. It says right here that you bought a toy from the black market and you need some help. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. I need some help. >> What kind of toy you bought? It It better not be one of them roses. >> No, it's a little boooo. Come right this way.
That is not no Labuchi. Girl, how much did you pay for this? >> Um, he said it was a one-ofa-kind labu and it was free. And your dumb ass Grabbed it, huh? >> Whatever. Let's get this over with. Gerald, come here. Little [ __ ] What the [ __ ] >> Look here, little bushy. You don't bite nobody like me. >> Please just hurry up and do the chant. Okay. No money, no family. 16 in the middle of Miami. No money. No money. No family. 16 in the middle of Miami. No money. >> Okay. So,
girl, we just going to take This Labushi off your hands. Okay. Thank you so much. Why are you still here? Where's our money? I thought y'all were free. I'm here to cash my check. Oh, you must have a kid. Did they spill some juice on it? Just Just cash my check, please. Okay. Can I see your ID? Uh-oh. Somebody stole it. Oh, I'm sorry. I really can't cash your check without an ID. Please, just cash my check. I wish I could, but it's Against company policy. >> Just cash my check, please. Oh, I'm sorry, but
I can't. Do you want to talk to my manager? You've helped me before. Your name is Tessa. Cash my check, please. >> A I'm so sorry, but I can't. Oh, cash my goddamn check, [ __ ] Ma'am, I really Tessa, you think I'm playing with you, [ __ ] You You think I'm playing with you, [ __ ] Cash my goddamn check, man. Cash my goddamn check, Tesla. >> Okay. Okay. Here. Here. >> Girl, I ain't asked for all that. >> There's your money, >> right? >> Did I ask for all that? >> No. No,
you didn't. You did. >> Did I ask for all that? >> No. No, you didn't. You didn't. >> Now, what that paper say? >> It say It say 521. >> Okay. So, hurry the hell out. >> Okay. Okay. With this ugly ass braided bang you got. Come out with your hands up. Yeah, come out with your hands up. I don't know why I let you fly this UFO. Girl, I am so sorry. I did not mean to crash. Child, they about to take us to Area 51, [ __ ] Ooh, I do not want to
go to Area 51. Girl, you got your license. Come out with your hands up. N news, say something. Okay, [ __ ] you, [ __ ] Girl, we going to Area 51, [ __ ] It's Over. >> Wait, who is that? >> Oh, they brought Will Smith, [ __ ] >> Please come out the UAP now or we will open fire. >> UAP. UAP. >> UAP. What? >> This is a UFO. I ain't never drove no UAP a day in my life. Don't they know that's our version of a Nissan Ultima? We don't drive you
way. Please, babe. Open fire. >> We out. We out. I ain't got no insurance, so to say. >> Hello. >> Yes, we were called because the neighbor across your hallway said there was suspicious activity going on in here. >> There's no suspicious activity going on in here. Well, ma'am, I do understand, but we would love to come in just to check everything >> right. Um um we would just love to come. >> Ma'am, are we allowed to come in? >> Um are you? >> Girl, is you fingering yourself over there? >> Nothing's going on over
here. Please leave. >> [ __ ] open this damn door. Charlene, stop. We can't just do Gerald. You need to have some backbone. You don't let nobody moan at you like that. That's harassing. >> I don't think she was moaning, per se. Gerald, she was what? You thought she was singing a hymn? Open this door, [ __ ] >> Well, at least we know why she was moaning, >> I guess. >> [ __ ] I'd be moaning, too, if I was eating some damn crab legs. >> Especially with some lemon pepper. Okay. Matter of fact,
girl, I'm leaving you some old bag at your front door. >> Oh my gosh. Who is That's Ronnie, but his nickname Jelly Bean. Oh, why they call him Jelly Bean? Girl, [Laughter] girl, you need to stop. [Applause] Girl, what was that? Child, that was my moonshit. >> Well, you need to tell her to be quiet. >> He's walking this way. He's walking this way. At natural. At natural. >> What's up, ladies? >> Hey, what's your name? >> Um, my name Ronnie, but you can call me Jelly Bean. >> She burned now. >> Um Um Um,
so like do you work out? >> Oh, yeah. I work out. You know >> what do you do for a living? >> I'm a rapper. >> Oh, get out. >> Get the [ __ ] up out of here, jelly be. Get out, jelly bean. Get out. >> We ain't got time for no rapper. It's okay, child. That little bar sounded like a Chihuahua. You know them small. >> Hello, this is Pastor Gerald and Sister Charlene. You contacted us because you said um y'all were seeing hallucinations. Hello. Ch. Let's get the hell up out of here.
Charlene, go touch them. >> Hell to the [ __ ] no. Gerald, you always want me to do the dangerous [ __ ] Why You can't go touch? >> Because I am the pastor. >> And what the hell that mean, Gerald? I'm not about to go over there and mess with the [ __ ] They praying. Let's go. >> We can't just leave these people like this. >> J, I don't know about you, but yes the hell we can. We do not have to bother them. >> Charlene, we are the exorcist. And clearly something's wrong
with these People. We cannot just abandon them like that. >> [ __ ] In the Bible, God say, "Mind your damn business." >> And what verse in the Bible does it say that? You must don't read your Bible. I read my Bible. Don't do that. >> Clearly not. If you don't know about my Charlene, start the prayer. I got to fire that [ __ ] Why are you looking at me? Because you Old as hell. You think you something? Because our owners keep going to you to write all these killer essays and everything. I sure
do. Because with athor.com, they can write any type of essay on me, baby. They can write informative, narrative, comedy, analytical. >> Okay, but can they site their essays on you? Baby, they can do all of that on the site. APA, MLA, whatever. I really don't care. Oh, now you don't care. To Be honest, I don't know why you even still here. They need to get rid of you. Don't you be glitching. Don't worry about what I be doing. And mind your [ __ ] You better calm down before you have a wrestle, baby. Ever. [Laughter]
Child, we need to get some Bosley or something. Where is everybody at? Child, I don't know. One day I just woke up and Everybody started dropping like flies. [ __ ] do we got alopecia? No. They said this hereditary. Child, his daddy is B. >> Yeah, but I thought that was by choice. Now you know damn well. >> Oh, where the hell you come from? I'm new here. Oh [ __ ] we must have started using sacred. Um, where's everybody else at? Oh, well, it's just me and Benny here and Chelsea, but Chelsea live all
The way over there. Hey, Chelsea, we got us a new friend chat. Damn, I knew he wasn't going to last long. Hell yeah. It was too good to be true. Fly high, [ __ ] >> Answer this goddamn >> Charlene. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. >> I need to get it together. Okay. >> Hello. Hey girl. So, we heard that you got something that's possessed. Oh my god. Y'all are here. Yes. Please follow Me. Please. It's right there. It's right [ __ ] there. Girl, what? I I don't see the chair. The chair. [
__ ] calm down. Shirley, my bad. So, you telling me it's the share that's possessed? Yes. Yes, it is. Girl, let me see. Let me This feel good. This sh possessed. All right, >> sister. Charlene, get up. >> Gerald, I'm exercising the demon. >> Charlene, get up. Gerald, don't you know how to have fun sometime? That's why you Always uptight. You need to learn how to relax. You need to relax. You need to relax. You need to relax. You need to relax. Get this [ __ ] off. >> I'm learning how to relax. >> I'm
so proud of you, Ashley. You brought out the ring light so we can start shooting content. You always procrastinating, but now you finally want to make some money, girl. I know that's right. Oh, Ronnie. Hey. >> Hey. Oh, okay. I see what we doing. We doing like a little couples channel. Yeah, we about to make some money. That's good YouTube money, y'all. I know. That's right. Go ahead now. All right, we ready when y'all ready. Well, see you later, Ronnie. Bye, Ronnie. Ashley, you still got a little something on your >> Yeah. Yeah. [Laughter] I
thought I thought this was going to be De'arra and kid. girl. Hell no. I ain't know Ashley get down like that. >> Child, she was and when she did that little move. Oh, the little swirl. >> Yeah, I said, "Girl, girl, I'm about to watch it, y'all." So, I ain't trying to be messy, but who got the best food? [ __ ] me, [ __ ] me. Y'all don't got [ __ ] on me. Girl, don't nobody give a [ __ ] about no gumbo. >> I could go for some gumbo. Okay. Matter of fact,
everybody in the Southeast got the best food. Okay. And you ain't going to lie. You ain't lying. You damn right. Because they don't know [ __ ] about no pull pork, [ __ ] A >> they don't know [ __ ] about no shrimp and grits or brisketss or key lime pie or peach cobbler. Need we say mo. >> What? >> You shut your potato having ass up. Okay. Y'all don't know what to do with them potatoes for real. Girl, we'll show you what to do with some potatoes, [ __ ] Girl, they not ready
for that potato salad. [ __ ] I ain't ready for that sweet potato casserole. >> You better come on now. Get look look y'all. Look at her. Look at her. She mad. She don't know [ __ ] about No hash brown girl. >> All right, let's just talk about it. Who's the most important organ? It's definitely me because I got to tell y'all everything to do. Y'all can't think for y'allselves. But if I didn't pump blood to you, you wouldn't be able to function though. But I have to tell you to pump blood though. blood.
You wouldn't be able to tell me to pump blood if I didn't pump blood to you. That's one thing about the heart. Now he Going to pump. First of all, if y'all don't got oxygen, this whole [ __ ] going down. And that's just the truth. Well, our human just started smoking, so you might not last long. >> And I heard that nicotine is strong. Got me over here glitching. Sucks for you lungs. >> You don't even do nothing around here. [Laughter] >> Right. We over here trying to figure out Who the most important. But
we know it ain't you. >> Why you beating so fast? Cuz I'm laughing. You better stop before you get arrested. Oh, you're right. Let me stop. I see what you did there. Cardiac arrest. >> Hello. >> Yes. Hello. I'm Pastor Gerald. This is Sister Charlene. We were called because you have a demon in your closet or something. >> Yeah, girl. We heard you had a demon in your closet. >> Sister Charlene, I need you to be a little more professional. >> Yes. Yes. Please come right this way. This This is the closet. Yes, I do
sense something very disturbing going on in there. Sister Charlene, open the closet. Hell no. Charlene, open the closet. I don't get paid enough to be doing all that. Fine. I'll raise it by $2. >> $2. That mean I'm going to be making $7 An hour. Okay, I'll open it. The only thing scary in here is probably her wardrobe. >> Oh [ __ ] Open the closet. You got me [ __ ] up. You ain't see Krampus ugly ass up and down. Come out right now, G. >> I can't. I'm gay. >> Gerald, he's gay. We
can't make him come out. Take all the time you need, baby. Oh, >> Charlene. >> Our job was to get the demon out the Closet and he out the closet. But she'll be all right. >> No. No. Like, yeah, I totally understand. Like, just told her. I said, Samantha, you cannot do that. >> I wish y'all shut the [ __ ] up over there. >> Oh my god, New York. That was so rude. >> Don't worry. He's just mad because I'm the top city in the United States. You is not the top city in the
United States, girl. But you is not the top City in the United States. Who told her that? Oh my gosh, you guys are in such denial. Everybody knows I'm the biggest. Like, [ __ ] you may be the biggest, but you ain't the best. That whole thing she something cuz she got Hollywood. I heard y'all food ain't good over there anyway. You shut your gay ass up, [ __ ] Who you calling gay? I ain't gay. Nah, Atlanta, baby. Just just just leave it alone. Okay. >> Ain't nothing wrong with being gay. Ain't nothing wrong
with being gay. You worry about where Raven Simone at. >> You ain't there. You ain't there. You ain't there. I think I'm the best city in the United States. Shut the [ __ ] up, murder girl. I appreciate all of you for coming to this counseling session. Um, so let's get started. How are we all feeling today? >> I don't know why the [ __ ] I'm here in The first place. >> Blue, can you not? I am so sorry for my baby mom. >> You don't got to apologize for me. Um, sir, I'm so
sorry. I just don't know why I'm here with him and his wife. She has been jealous ever since Red got with me. I just don't know. Oh, wow. Blue, is that true? Hell no. I ain't never been jealous. If you want to leave me for a white [ __ ] leave me for a white [ __ ] Do not talk about my wife that way. Yeah, Blue. My name is White and not [ __ ] In summary, I don't care if he moved on. I'm a lesbian anyways. Great, because I'm pregnant. >> Pregnant? >> Red?
Honey, I told you about this. You got this whole pregnant. >> Yep. And it's a girl and we're going to name her Pink. Pink? What about purple? What about our daughter Purple? Red. >> Mommy, I just found a lady. >> Go get your ass back in that car. >> I didn't know you were pregnant. >> You brought me up here to embarrass me and to find out that your side piece pregnant. >> Side piece? >> Girl, shut up. You got us up here sitting side by side like we representing America. Anyways, counselor, I really don't
care. I met this cute stud named Yella. Yella? How are you and yellow do? Good. Every time she put it down, I squirt
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