[Applause] yay this look nice this I wish I had a living room wow how do I start um I was in the park last night chasing this white guy and that's what Black History Month joke spilled over into March I was in the park last night and I saw a black squirrel being chased by two gray squirrels and I got anxious and I blurted out R [ __ ] faster than that come on man but he ain't get it cuz he's a squirrel and out of nowhere this lady was like you really shouldn't say that
word a lot of people don't like it makes them real funny and I was like why are you in the park this late don't touch me then the squirrel crawled down the tree and he looked at me and he was like and I told him I don't know her I don't feel too safe either Y what happened you dropped the acorn and the cop started shooting you got to protect your nuts man that's what's up I'll see you tomorrow that's the sound black guys make when they run black girls gay [Music] guys I hope that's
not offensive [Laughter] be a bunch of gay guys outside waiting for me we heard what you said in Get Him y'all surround him get his feet what's that what don't I like I'll tell you I don't like walking up behind white women at night makes me really uncomfortable so I crossed the street couple nights ago I'm walking home got my Beats going I don't have no headphones I just got beat [Laughter] [Applause] and I'm walking uh-oh white woman think all across the [Music] street uh-oh another white woman so now I'm walking in the middle of
the street which makes it look even more creepy then there's the cab driver bam get out of the street brother I'm like Vishnu there are white women all over the place holy [ __ ] get in and he Dr me to safety he's like brother when walking at night you have to be very careful these policemen and white women are very dangerous brother you have to take care of yourself [Music] Denzel yeah that's not my name [Laughter] as my name is not Vishnu T [Applause] [ __ ] I didn't always want to be a standup
comic I still don't I really I really don't want to do this when I was younger I wanted to be an astronaut yeah then my cousin gave me something to smoke and I was like we don't have to travel that far milky ways is right here I smoke sometime a lot every day actually I smoke and I watch nature shows one of my childhood friends was at my place recently and we smoking and he looks at me and he's like like hey yeah how come every time I come to your CRI we be watching nature
shows I'm like yo my man these nature shows they informative that's what's up what that be keep watching you we start watching this piece on National Geographic talking about the plight of the bees narrator goes on to say that if all the bees on the planet died that the birds would be next then us and my boy is like we got to save the be that [ __ ] is real that's real now that I think about it I a see a bee all sub now you informed now go inform the other brothers huh take
this with you then the narrator goes on to say uh the European bee is a much more Kinder gentler bee as opposed to the Africanized be which is a much more aggressive hostile be really just going to try to sneak racism into the bu world like European bees are floating around like so what are we going to do today I don't know maybe we can pollinate these flowers like the African bees in his beehive like who are we who are we going to sting today that is the unsuspecting white man out there they want us
to be Killer Bees than Killer Bees we will be Papa I don't want to be a killer you have to be the killer be what type of bee do you want to be H bamboo no Baba I want to be a honeybee nothing in this High Cann you know you do have a aunt named numad you can go there and make all the honey you want okay Baba I will going and be the best honey maker ever I don't know where I'm going with this it's a work in [Applause] progress feel like I let s
of y'all down couple girls in the back finish it I took the train down here tonight because I like Adventure I was in a car with four other white people all of us had our headphones on car to the car door to the left opens up and walks this dude just doing wild body movements I look over at the white people and they're like we don't see it this [ __ ] walks past he see him see him out the corner of my eye just move my headphone a little bit just to hear and this
motherfucker's like I'mma kill all of y'all so I got up and I went into the next car hope those white people are okay the MTA what a [ __ ] hole you ever read those stupid signs they put up we at the MTA are making improvements so that your ride will be more enjoyable really I still smell piss homeless dude taking his dick out he's coming in way hey come on bye [Music]
