hi you guys welcome to or welcome back to my channel for another episode of Le Elations So today we're going to talk about something that's kind of been on my mind kind of been on my heart to create I was going to be making a video titled how to get hotter and smarter because I briefly talked about that on Tik Tok but I feel like I don't know I just rather talk about things that I'm currently learning or the realizations that I've had um recently because it just feels more aligned and it feels more creative
to me as much as I would like to tell you guys how to get hotter and smarter which I will at some point I want to talk about something that I think may be of more value to you because I feel like you could go online you could go on YouTube or on Tik Tok and look up so many videos on how to increase your physical attractiveness how to increase your intelligence and things like that and I will of course be giving you my perspective on that as well but today like I said we're going
to do something different so I've just been at a stage in my life where I've been learning so many things I feel like honestly your early 20s is just a constant journey of learning and unlearning um it never really stops I feel like we don't get to a calm point of like okay this is what I know this is what I believe my opinion isn't necessarily changing is it flexible maybe but this is like my Baseline belief system or thinking pattern or Behavior or whatever like we're still in the growing and molding and maturing process
like our frontal lobe isn't even fully developed yet so it's a lot going on and I do want to say give yourself Grace during this time because especially in the age of social media you see everybody telling you what you should be doing and how you should be acting and how you should be moving but you have to figure that out for yourself life is like a playground Life Is trial and error life is making little messes and cleaning them up and learning as you go so don't shame yourself for Learning and making mistakes all
you could do is try to do better the next time with that being said I want to share some lessons that I have been learning and relearning over the course of this year especially as of recently so let's get into it the first thing that I will say is that as a woman period no matter what your age is at some point you have to put your big girl panties on and take radical responsibility for your life okay if you don't like where your life is if you don't like where you're at in life if
you don't like the relationships in your life if you don't like your friendships if you're just unhappy in your career if you're unhappy with yourself in any way you have to take radical responsibility for changing that you are the reason that you are in your current position whether you want to hear that or not that is the truth okay you are the captain of your sh ship you are the master of your destiny any situation that you're in right now that you don't like you created this for yourself and you are the only one that
could get yourself out of it nobody is coming to save you there's not going to be any Prince Charming that comes in on a white horse ready to swoop you up and take you off to the castle this ain't Disney okay this is real life you have to take responsibility for your life nobody is going to lay it all out for you you need to stop looking towards people to give you Direction and give you the recipe there is no recipe for life really there really isn't are there certain guidelines and rules that you abide
by yes there are but there's no real recipe it's really tailored to you personally so nobody can really tell you okay do a b c d e FG and your life will look exactly like this that is not what's going to happen other things can happen along the way you can experience hiccups delays setbacks you can experience traumatic events cuz life is going to life at the end of the day life is going to life I want you to look at life like school every time you turn a different age you graduate to that next
class level basically so obviously people in their 40th grade of Life know much more than you do at your 23rd grade of life especially if they've actually been applying themselves in this school of life in the classroom trying to figure out things trying to try new things trying to make things work trying to learn themselves some people don't take that self- responsibility ever and they are like mentally handicapped because they stay stuck in like a 21y old mindset or 18-year-old mindset or even like a 13year old mindset because they don't take responsibility for themselves and
another thing another reason I really want to touch on this is because I feel like it's a trend on Tik Tok right now to like push the I'm just a girl thing and I mean it's cute if you're saying it like you know for kicks and Giggles but like on a serious note grow the [ __ ] up like you're a girl yes but you're turning into a woman that aging process is not going to stop at some point you have to mature and put your big girl panties on and do what you have to
do so stop using I'm just a girl as a crutch to keep you stagnant and from growing and maturing there's no reason you should be 26 years old walking around with the mindset of a 16 yearold you're mentally handicapped you're stunting your own growth because you have a lack of responsibility you're stunting your own growth because you don't want to be held accountable for your actions you're stunting your own growth because you don't want to take radical responsibility for your life and for the decisions that you have made but at some point you have to
look in the mirror and be like okay this is where I'm at is this where I want to be no what do I need to do to get there what do I need to change how do how do I be a better me you have to ask yourself that nobody on Tik toac is going to tell you how to be a better me I can't tell you how to be a better me your mom can't tell you how to be a better me you have to figure that out on your own this is your life
Journey can we help you and guide you along the process and give you maybe some advice that resonates with you in your current place in your journey yes but at the end of the day you're the one in the class you're the one in the school of life you have to apply yourself and learn for yourself I can't learn the lessons for you I learn my own lessons and I share what I learn with you guys but I cannot learn your lessons for you you have to learn your lessons for you nobody in your life
can learn your lessons for you your home girls can't learn your lessons for you your family can't learn your lessons for you random people that you admire and look up to on social media cannot learn your lessons for you you have to live your life nobody else is going to do it for you okay I feel like another thing I hear girls say a lot is like I just want to turn my brain off like I want a man so I can turn my brain off with him why why would you turn your brain off
your brain is your greatest asset your brain is what you use to manifest and create the life that you want to live your brain is what you use to strategize your brain is what you use to understand and conceptualize things why would you want to turn your brain off so he could call off all the shots who's living your life you or him are you that lazy seriously you want to turn your brain off like it's one thing to trust someone enough that you're able to just relax and enjoy yourself in their presence without constantly
being on guard looking for threats and things like this but to completely turn your brain off is insane like I'm going need y'all to stop seriously let's be so for real like what are you his child no I feel like a lot of girls they just want to stay little girls for so long you're not a little girl anymore he's not your daddy it's just not going to happen that's just not how life works okay so put your big girl panties on and take accountability and take radical self responsibility for your life the next thing
that's going to be very important for you to learn is how to have difficult conversations and deal with conflict you are going to have to have uncomfortable conversations life will put you in uncomfortable situations that is how you grow you have to be put in the dirt in order to blossom into a beautiful flower diamonds experience an intense amount of pressure so they can be formed life is going to life you are going to be in uncomfortable situations you're going to have to have difficult conversations you are going to be faced with conflict and you're
going to have to have conflict resolution skills to get through that conflict so learn how to to get through conflict learn how to have difficult conversations learn how to be able to stand on your boundaries learn how to love yourself more than the potential with another person or learn how to love yourself and care about your own opinion of yourself more than other people's opinions of you whether they're your friends your family your partner your colleagues whoever the only opinion that really truly matters is your opinion of yourself at the end of the day you
come into this world alone you die alone you need to have a good opinion of yourself you need to stand T toes on your own boundaries you need to be looking out for you nobody else on this Earth is going to look out for you the way that you can look out for you be able to have those difficult conversations be able to stand T toes on your boundaries learn how to communicate your boundaries learn how to communicate your wants and your needs without getting so emotional without being so reactive you need to learn how
to lean into logic and lean out of emotion there is a beautiful correct time for emotion I feel like emotions are your guide they tell you what you need to be doing they tell you what you need to move towards they tell you when you need to place a boundary they tell you how you're feeling all of these things emotions are a guide but you're not supposed to let your emotions consume you there is a time in place for you to be in your emotions and there's a time in place for you to be moving
from logic learn the difference if this is not something that you were taught by your parents if this is not something that you learned in the house if you had siblings if this is not something that you learned when you were younger then you're going to have to take the responsibility to educate yourself put yourself in the field and whenever you have to have a difficult conversation with somebody or whenever you're in a conflict with somebody don't run from it don't run from it because you don't want to deal with it don't run from it
because you're scared don't run from it because you have fear of falling out with the person or just fear of what may come out of that conflict you have to look at conflict as a gift you're either going to come out stronger or you're going to see what is and what isn't working and you're going to be able to know how to step back and make the best decision for you which may be to redirect your energy and your focus on another type of relationship on another type of environment whatever it is but look at
conflict as a gift it's not something that you run from it's something that you run towards this is one that I already knew but I feel like it's something that I just relearn and I feel like with lessons in life especially big lessons in life sometimes you have to fall and get up fall and get up falling get up multiple times before it really really really really really sticks and solidifies in your habitual thinking but another big thing that I will say is don't tell your friends everything and don't tell your family everything especially in
regards to your romantic relationships or in regards to your other friendships like keep that sacred to yourself this could just get really really really really messy another thing that I will say the principle of not really sharing what I'm going through or what I'm dealing with until after I figure it out because honestly what are you talking to your friends about it for all that they're going to do is one say their opinion which you may or may not agree with speak fear into it maybe see you in a different light because of the situation
and they're going to come from a place of logic even if you may be in a place of emotion at the time you really have to keep things to yourself until you figure it out and then after you figured it out then you can share it once you've overcame it and or already decided what you want to do just keep your business between you and the person that you're having the relationship or the friendship with don't share that with the other people in your life unless it's like a real dangerous situation and you really want
someone to hold you accountable but if it's not that then it's better to just keep it to yourself for a multitude of reasons which I may do a whole separate video on just to explain further but just trust me shut up and just keep it to yourself you're going to be so much Happ happier I understand that you know sometimes you want to be able to confide in your girlfriends and vent to them confide to your partner and then to them about other things but you just got to keep it to yourself you just got
to keep it to yourself it needs to be between you them and God literally that's it that's all that leads me into my next thing these kind of piggyback off of each other you need to stop seeking external validation for your decisions and for your selfworth you ask your home girls what you should do or how you should respond or what you should say or what they think or what you should wear or where you should go or how you should live your life nobody is here to figure that out for you okay like I
said in the beginning you have to live your life for you stop giving people the power to live your life for you nobody's here to run your life you need to run your own life okay it's one thing if you are having like some serious trouble making a decision and you want to consult one of your friends or consult your partner consult one of your family members but it's a whole another thing when you're giving them the full Reign Over your life to make all of your decisions because you don't know how to make any
decisions on your own or because you don't trust yourself to make your own decisions if you don't trust yourself to make your own decisions that's a problem in itself and you need to figure out why you don't trust yourself to make your own decisions and you need to work on learning how to trust yourself to make your own decisions okay and also don't look to anybody outside of you to affirm your selfworth or to affirm or validate your selfworth that is just giving away your power looking to other people to validate your sense of selfworth
is giving them way too much power over your life and that's how you end up in these negative Vicious Cycles that you can't seem to get out of and you don't understand understand why when the core root of the problem may just be that for some reason you're addicted to seeking validation from this person that is a terrible cycle to be in and I don't wish that on anyone okay so you have to learn how to stop seeking external validation from anyone outside of you and you have to learn how to validate yourself validate your
own selfworth learn how to make your own decisions trust yourself to make your own decisions because that is how you keep your power when you go from a girl to to a woman a girl is powerless a woman is powerful so you have to keep the power in your hands don't just give it up easily and don't give it up freely okay if you're giving up power to someone it's because they earned it you can't learn how to make your own decisions if your home girls keep making your decisions for you you can't learn how
to make your own decisions if you let your partner make all the decisions for you you can't learn how to make your own decisions if you let your parents make all the decisions for you this goes back to radical self- responsibility okay all of this ties into each other the next thing I will say is move through life confidently and boldly even if you make mistakes don't ever be self-deprecating especially around your girlfriends don't ever be self-deprecating in a community like setting don't ever be self-deprecating online this lowers your value in other people's eyes because
why would they respect you and admire you if you don't even respect and admire yourself you need to learn how to move through life confidently and boldly flaws in all okay I know all of my flaws I know my Tendencies I know where I fall short sometimes and this leads into my next thing you have to know yourself so that nobody else can tell you who you are and so that nobody can call your bluff I know me I know my bad habits I know where I may fall short I know when I can get
too comfortable I know about Leah Alexander you need to know about you nobody on God's green earth should be able to read you down better than you can read yourself down look in the mirror you need to recognize what life is trying to teach you in every given moment you need to recognize why certain people are in your life when what part of you they're reflecting back to yourself you need to realize what the hell is going on and you need to real realize why you're creating certain situations for yourself and why you are the
way that you are you have to do the shadow work you have to peel back the layers you have to get to know yourself on a real deep intimate level seriously other people can only meet you as deeply as you've met yourself as well you have to get to know yourself you should take joy in getting to know yourself you should take joy and peeling back the layers and understanding why you do what you do and what is the root cause and the trigger to this and what is the root cause and the trigger to
that this is the Beauty and the unfolding of Life Learning yourself continuing to grow and relearning yourself again and again and again cuz you're not going to stop growing but you have to be able to know yourself so well that nobody can call your bluff you see this tatto on the side of my neck this means know thyself okay I know myself and it is my intention every single day of my life to know myself truly through and through better than than anybody else that needs to be your goal that needs to be your intention
when you know yourself you can move through life confidently and boldly because even though you may have your own flaws and your own shortcomings you don't allow them to Define you because you already know oh yeah I be doing that sometimes but I mean it is what it is there's nobody I respect more than a person that is 100% themselves whether people view their personality or the way they move as positive or negative I don't care I love people that could be 100% themselves through and through people that don't change themselves to fit other people's
molds or ideas of who they should be or how they should act be you move through life confidently and boldly if you cuss too much know that there's a time in a place but if that's just you then baby that's just you okay that's just how you get down it's one thing knowing how to be socially strategic and be strategic in conversations and know that there is a time and a place for certain types of language certain types of conversation and things like that but it's a whole another thing to be completely changing who you
innately are just to be perceived as something else or just to be accepted by other people or Society the only way that I think that is somewhat acceptable is if you're playing the game to get what you want in some kind of capacity because even with that you're just aware of what you're doing it's not like you're trying to put a wet blanket over your personality just so that it makes other people more comfortable or just so that it makes other people feel better that's you shape-shifting basically that's you knowing how to move in different
rooms that's you knowing how to act with different people that's you being adaptable that's you being flexible that's you being like a chameleon it's nothing wrong with being able to be a chameleon if anything I advise you being able to be like that it's a whole another thing to be trying to change yourself to fit this mold of what somebody else's idea of a perfect woman is you need to Define what a perfect woman is for you what does a perfect you look like to you that is how you define your Womanhood that is how
you define your journey that is how you define the type of person that you want to be not based off what the guy you like wants not based off what your friends are like or what the friends that you like want not based off what your parents tell you not based off who the people on Tik Tok tell you you should be it's one thing to use what people tell you as strategy but it's a whole another thing to use it to completely change yourself into this whole person that is not authentic to you do
you get what I'm saying I hope that you understand what I'm saying and lastly I just want you to know that it is never too late to course correct it's never too late to course correct as soon as you realize that you want to change that is when you change when you get up and you stop playing victim and you actually take some accountability and some self-responsibility that is the only time that you will see real change in your life don't be ashamed of how old you are don't be ashamed of how many times it's
taken to stick or for you to really learn the lesson don't be ashamed of any of that shaming yourself is not going to do anything productive okay feeling guilty is not going to do anything productive all you could do is focus on the now and the next steps because the past is going to be the past there's no sense in living there I don't care how old you are it's never too late to create a better life for yourself and it's never too late to become a better version of yourself whatever your definition or your
idea of that version of yourself is I love you guys so much obviously you guys know I take what I learn and I share it with you guys I will be making my episode on how to get hotter and smarter but Spirit was just telling me that this is what I got to do right now so this is what I'm doing and I hope that you guys enjoyed this video I hope that you guys found something and heard something and take some sort of value from this video and apply it to your life don't forget
that you guys can book a oneon-one call with me my booking link is in the description box below I love talking to you guys like I see in every video I just honestly do because I get to help you on a more personal level especially when it comes to taking radical self- responsibility for your life because a lot of my calls involve things about taking self- responsibility and not making excuses for yourself so if you want to get into that version of your life if you're ready to tap in and take yourself seriously on another
level and put your big girl panties on then book The Call with me so we can make the plan for you and strategize how you're going to get that done and I look forward to potentially speaking with you I look forward to speaking to you guys in my next video bye
