my girlfriend of8 years left me and then came back after 10 weeks saying she made a mistake and didn't mean what she said posted by you/ throwaway 92516 we 22m and 23f started dating in e8th grade we went to high school and college together and dated the entire time we graduated from college this summer after college she got into grad school in our hometown 6 hours away from our college town and I had already accepted a job in our college town we agreed that I would move to our hometown in one year put in a
work transfer so we could lift together during her second and final year of grad school she stayed with her family for the summer before grad school started this past June to September so during this time we were long distance she became noticeably irritable and distant she came to visit me in our college town where I had been working after a couple of months and said we should take a break while she went to grad school I fell apart crying and she changed her mind a couple of weeks later she started texting me saying she didn't
feel like talking to me anymore and that she loved me but wasn't in love with me this was all through text messages I asked to call her and she allowed me to a few hours later I told her it would hurt me too much to ever speak to her again that I forgave her and I said a final goodbye I fell apart of course I missed work for a week I was completely unstable for over a month I didn't eat or sleep much at all she made no effort to contact me for 10 weeks then
suddenly when I was starting to heal and accept that she wasn't the one for me she began contacting me she told me over Facebook that not talking was too hard for her I deleted the message without replying she tried texting four days later and I blocked her number 3 days after that she had her brother contact me that's when she cracked it was finals week in her first quarter of grad school and she drove 6 hours the night before her final to tell me she had made a huge mistake this happened this Wednesday I told
her I didn't believe her and that she needed more time to think about what she really wanted and whether it was me she wanted I told her I was skeptical and didn't believe she loved me pointing out that she said she wasn't in love with me she didn't remember saying that and claim she had spent weeks thinking about it and regretted her decision during our time apart she said said she went on one terrible date and didn't leave me for another guy however I'm scared that she's just lonely or nostalgic and will leave me again
when she gets bored she tells me it's not Nostalgia and that she learned her lesson I told her to take a couple more months to think about it and decide if it's really me that she loves I also told her how hard the breakup was on me and proceeded to condemn our 8 and a half year relationship I told her I had to demonize her in the relationship in order to move on and laid out all the flaws I then told her how great my life was becoming I now go to the gym every day
have gotten new hobbies and am way more social With Friends what do I do here guys thanks update 2.5 years later hi guys I came to this sub out of desperation 2 years ago and I have an update on my thoughts and feelings since then I 24m dated my ex 24f from ages 13 to 21 8th grade until college graduation let's call her Lily Lily left me after she got into an Ivy League grad school in September 2016 I was in shock and in some ways still am she started contacting me again in early November
2016 I ignored her she showed up unannounced at my apartment having driven 300 miles from her grad school to where I now live and work she apologized and tried to reunite I had already built up walls and told her politely no thanks despite desperately wishing we were still together I was so broken and sad that her arrival at my apartment enhanced the fantasy that maybe we could work it out after all I spent my formative years loving this person and yearning for her she was still my whole world I called Lily and asked to meet
again around Thanksgiving since we would both be back in our hometown we met and after I asked specifically Lily admitted she had slept with someone I replied that I wasn't interested in reuniting we both went home grieving having grown up with Lily's parents and loving them as my own I got Lily's mother to confess separately to me that Lily had tried to contact her prospective knew fling after they slept together but the guy told her to get lost confirming my hunch that I was Lily's fallback plan Lily never admitted this to me but she later
confessed that when she left me she had already been asked out by this new guy and wanted to say yes so she dumped me the pain was too much I blocked her on everything she tried to make contact several times but I didn't respond my mother died in mid January 2017 when my father called Lily's mother to share the news Lily's mother told my father that Lily was in a severe depression and had left grad school I was lonely grieving and still in love with Lily so I visited the day after my mother's funeral by
then Lily had lost nearly 20 lbs she was already thin and was borderline catatonic I went back to my apartment 300 M away as conflicted as ever she's in so much pain maybe she loves me is is the narrative that still permeates my brain even today I never took her back but I never stopped yearning for her it has been 2 years since all of this happened and I still wonder if I made the right choice I think I did but I also have this tremendous amount of pessimism about the people around me I don't
trust my judgment of character anymore when I realize the girl I believed to be an angel could abandon me and then come back and try to use me it shakes my confidence I've still never met anyone as beautiful as Lily at least on the inside Lily and I have agreed to meet twice since then and both times were extremely unpleasant the first was a superficial display of who had moved on more and the second was me expressing regret wishing I had been a better man throughout the relationship Lily ended up going back and completing grad
school graduating on time in June 2018 I still haven't replaced the hole in my life where Lily used to be I push people away because I assume they will hurt me if a girl like Lily the kindest soul I have ever met could cut me so deeply then surely everyone else will too I'm still lost and for all I know she is too I know what she did was completely selfish and gross but it can't override all the good she brought into my life during my formative years I am in no contact with Lily but
I still love and miss her in my life I'm wondering how to live without her when even lying in bed with another woman I miss the trust and connection I had with Lily no one knows more about me no one knows more about her
