that's right you read the title correctly this is the goofy goober alien death cult theory and no i am not joking this seemingly innocent ice cream parlor is a front for something very sinister the beloved spongebob movie actually has a much darker and tragic meaning to it i am being 100 serious when i tell you that i think this is my best most convincing theory yet and if you thought my evolution theory was dark well get ready this is the goofy goober alien death cult theory [Music] [Applause] so [Applause] hey uh what's the biggest animal
that you have oh boy alex has finally lost his mind goofy goober alien death cult theory what did he make that in a random word generator trust me there's actually a lot to this theory and if anyone's qualified to make it it's me considering i made a whole web series about a restaurant being a front for a cult here at pizza time pizza we don't use any preservatives or fake ingredients pizza time pizza is not a cult but those are the old days i'm the spongebob guy now and there is an insane demand for more
of these theories i mean the mrs puff one has like 12 million views that is crazy thank you guys so much now this is the part of the video where i try to make you think i'm about to start the theory but then oh boy a sponsor everyone loves those but today i'm actually sponsored by a company that i'm really excited to talk about happy me farms is an animal farming company that offers a variety of different delicious meat products in the meat industry there's so many factory farms out there that force thousands of animals
into tight unlivable spaces and pump them full of gmos but happy meat farms is a completely humane and organic alternative every animal has plenty of wide outdoor space to roam free and every animal is raised 100 naturally with no added chemicals as an animal lover myself i am so grateful to be sponsored by happy meat farms if you want to learn more about them and what they stand for go to happymeatfarms.com now let's begin the theory [Music] goofy goobers is an old-fashioned ice cream parlor that first appeared in the spongebob movie it's the very definition
of a fun innocent place for children so how on earth did i come to the conclusion that it's actually an alien death cult in fact what even is an alien death cult usually it's a religious group that wants you to believe that one day aliens will come to earth and take the members of the cult to a better place and in order to get there they have to commit mass suicide the most infamous example of this being heaven's gate like i said this is going to be a very dark video with some serious subject matter
so how does this have anything to do with goofy goobers in the more recent seasons of spongebob they've started referencing goofy goobers again in fact there's even an episode called the goofy newbie where patrick gets a job there and it's in this episode when patrick is watching an employee training video that i first realized there was something more going on here the story of our ice cream begins with our founder reginald goober who for some unexplained reason was nicknamed goofy in 1842 he headed west in a covered ice cream wagon he served his warm ice
cream on rocks and sticks from those humble beginnings goofy goober has grown into a multi-billion dollar business you know it's a pretty standard company video they just want their employees to wash their hands and keep their work area clean we only ask that you won practice good hygiene two maintain good work habits nothing out of the ordinary except there's one more thing that they want you to do and three believe in extraterrestrials [Music] and ice cream [Music] huh an organization that wants you to believe in aliens that could it be a heaven's gate reference in
spongebob could it no that that's that's crazy and even if it was it could just be a random throwaway gag there's no way goofy goobers is actually a cult right but then i started to rewatch every appearance of goofy goobers and things took on a whole new meaning one of the most basic ideas of a cult is that they strip you of your individuality and make you change your entire identity to be about the cult and that's exactly what goofy goobers does everyone there wears goofy goober uniforms just like a cult i mean what other
restaurant has not just employees but customers that always dress up in a specific way and their theme song that is constantly repeated and reinforced is just the simple line i am a goofy i'm a goofy goober you're a goofy goober we're all goofy goobers it is literally just a song saying that your whole identity is based around goofy goobers and that's it and in the spongebob movie there's a scene where spongebob and patrick have to try their best to not sing along to the theme song and it literally causes them intense pain to not sing
along it's as if they've been brainwashed and physically can't stop themselves from singing it and you can't even just chalk this up to spongebob and patrick being weirdos two other fish can't stop themselves from singing along even though it means they'll get beat up for it goofy goofy go [ __ ] over yeah [Music] and just like how many cults have an icon or god that they worship goofy goobers has the dancing peanut mascot that's all over the restaurant's branding i mean just look at how excited all the kids are when he comes out [Applause]
[Music] all right but just because kids like a mascot doesn't mean that they have some kind of religious worship for them well if you don't believe me take it from spongebob himself open your eyes patrick we blow bubbles we eat ice cream we worship a dancing peanut for corn sake we do not worship him patrick you've been wearing the same goofy goober peanut party underpants for three years straight what do you call that worship in the spongebob movie video game there's even a goofy goober token that reads in goofy we trust replacing the word god
with goofy hmm things are looking awfully culty aren't they cults will also often create reading material about their beliefs for their followers to read and goofy goobers is no exception to this in the new spongebob spin-off the patrick star show we see a goofy goober employee reading some kind of book about ice cream and look at him he's not busy working he's choosing to read this in his down time i mean compare him to squidward who sometimes reads in his down time at work it's not like he's reading about the krusty krab this book looks
a lot like it's a doctrine for a cult's beliefs a major part of how cults get so successful is by getting their followers to give them money now obviously goofy goobers charges people for ice cream but they actually convince their followers to trade their money for a made-up goofy goober currency uh i don't know what plankton's paying you but if you let us go i can make it worth your while what is this that sir is five goober dollars legal tender at any participating goofy goober this would explain how the goofy goober founder an idiot
who sold ice cream on rocks and sticks turned the company into a multi-billion dollar franchise he convinced people to believe that aliens would one day take them to a better place and got them to give them all their money another tactic that cults use to indoctrinate people is overloading them with compliments and making them feel special and that's exactly what goofy goobers does to patrick when he gets a job there the [ __ ] video says that they appreciate him hello and welcome as a new goofy goober employee we'd like you to know that we
appreciate you and then his manager says the exact same thing i'm your manager and i want you to know that i appreciate you and then despite patrick messing up and causing chaos the manager says it once again i'll give you another chance tomorrow if it doesn't work out i'm afraid you're fired in a most appreciative way there is no reason for the manager to be this appreciative of patrick after all the terrible work he's done he's just trying to emotionally manipulate him the tactic is especially effective on vulnerable people like children and we see this
in the patrick star show not only did patrick start eating goofy goober ice cream when he was young and eventually ended up working there and worshipping their god but this green kid also grew up to become an employee at goofy goobers [Music] there's a clear pattern here kids who eat the ice cream all eventually join the cult they are specifically targeting children for indoctrination but their manipulation goes far beyond just psychological tactics trust me we've just scratched the surface of how far goofy goobers will go to brainwash its members things are about to get darker
[Music] hey [Music] there's a part in the spongebob movie where spongebob and patrick go to goofy goobers and eat tons of ice cream all night to the point where they become completely drunk off of it it's a really funny scene but it begs the question why does the ice cream get them drunk maybe that's just how ice cream works in the spongebob universe and it's the show's way of making a family-friendly alcohol reference but we've seen other instances where characters eat tons of ice cream and it doesn't have this effect on them alright well maybe
this was just a one-time gag for the movie and it's not a consistent part of the continuity but in the season 11 episode call the cops we get this scene one too many goofy goobers again hey patrick so another deliberate reference to goofy goober ice cream having a weird alcoholic effect on people is it possible that they put something in the ice cream to make people more open to cult indoctrination cults have been known to use drugs to keep their followers obedient and suggestible one of the most infamous examples of this being charles manson who
used lsd to convince his followers of his beliefs if this is the case with goofy goobers they'd probably want to make sure everyone there eats as much ice cream as possible and the goofy goober building is actually cleverly designed in a way to ensure that this happens there are no windows in the entire building so you can't tell whether it's day or night and the goofy goober clock just has random numbers on it so it's impossible to keep track of time because of this spongebob eats ice cream all night and is actually late for work
for the very first time also can i point out the fact that the eyes on the clock seem to follow patrick around in the goofy noobie it's a really creepy and specific detail to include i mean we know from the movie that the eyes are usually supposed to be looking straight ahead but here they're always watching patrick their next target for indoctrination now if the ice cream is what keeps their followers in line they definitely want to make sure their employees were eating as much as possible and it turns out goofy goobers actually has a
policy about this wow i can't believe goofy goobers employees get to eat all the ice cream they want on this job the employees get to eat all the ice cream they want very interesting and there's evidence to suggest that the ice cream can do a lot more than just make you suggestible at the beginning of the goofy noobie patrick is holding up the line asking for samples of ice cream the employee he's talking to gets frustrated and calls for security to kick him out hey you stapled every flavor we have will you please just pick
one i would like you to use my spoon but there's something oddly familiar about this employee hang on a second isn't that patrick's sister the new spin-off the patrick star show is a prequel to the main show that introduces us to patrick's little sister squadena and here we see her all grown up working at goofy goobers she's even credited as squadena and has the same voice actor in the patrick star show we actually do see her eating goofy goober ice cream as a kid which fits with the pattern of kids who eat the ice cream
eventually getting indoctrinated into the cult now squadena and patrick have a very close loving relationship in the patrick star show but here they act like they're total strangers it's not surprising that patrick would forget his own sister but squadena is always portrayed as being smart it's almost like she completely forgot about him one of the biggest tactics that cults use to indoctrinate people is isolating them from their friends and family to make them more vulnerable and dependent on the cult and that's exactly what we're seeing here with squadina she has no memory of her family
the ice cream might just be affecting her memory as well i mean if she was just meant to be some random reusable character here with no continuity why would the creators go out of their way to specifically credit her as squadena unlike the other random employees who are just credited as employee feels like they're deliberately trying to draw attention to it at the end of the goofy newbie patrick goes crazy and eats a ton of the ice cream and then the episode ends in a very interesting way [Music] now i don't think patrick was actually
abducted by aliens i mean we see him on earth in the very next episode and the ufo has the same fake look as the one in the training video i think that because of all the ice cream he ate he now fully accepts the goofy goober's beliefs and it's caused him to hallucinate the ufo so at this point i'd say we can make a very strong case for goofy goobers being a cult but with this realization comes a very dark and tragic new meaning for the spongebob movie believe me you will never look at that
movie the same way again wow [Music] [Music] [Music] the 2004 spongebob movie is my favorite thing to come out of the franchise it's funny it's emotional and it encapsulates everything great about spongebob in this movie spongebob goes on a journey of self-discovery and realizes that he doesn't need to change who he is and grow up to fit into society he just has to embrace his inner kid and be himself it's a great message that feels really fitting for the character but if you replace the word kid with goofy goober spongebob's arc takes on a whole
new meaning it's not about spongebob embracing being himself it's about spongebob fully accepting the indoctrination and beliefs of the goofy goober cult the movie starts with spongebob not getting promoted to manager of the new krusty krab a job that he desperately wanted and believed that he would get when he finds out that squidward got chosen instead of him it completely destroys him cults will target vulnerable people who are at extremely low points and the first place that spongebob goes to after having his heart broken is goofy goobers after a night of getting drunk off of
ice cream he becomes resentful of mr krabs and decides to tell him off i deserve that manager's job but you didn't give it to me did you say i'm a kid well i am 100 man and this man has got something to say to you in fact if king neptune didn't interrupt and try to kill mr krabs spongebob probably would have quit and been fully able to join the cult spongebob and patrick go on a quest to retrieve neptune's crown and it's almost like every obstacle they face along the way is specifically designed to make
spongebob and patrick realize the dark truth about goofy goobers but they fail to do so at every turn so they first stop at this tough guy bar that's full of men who beat up anyone that isn't manly enough but i think there's actually a lot more going on here than it seems this place actually has an insane amount of similarities to the goofy goober ice cream parlor they're both shaped like boats they both have bikes out front and a bar inside and they both have two word titles that start with the same letter goofy goobers
and thug tug is it possible that this place is actually a former goofy goober's establishment that was abandoned i mean they literally have the goofy goober theme song on hand spongebob song and they claim that no kids are allowed here yet we see some old kid-sized handprints in the bathroom if this really is a former goofy goopers then these guys would probably know the truth about the cult which would explain why they're so against having anyone who's not manly in the bar it's not because they hate kids it's because they're trying to keep out a
dangerous cult if spongebob and patrick just stuck around a little longer maybe they would have learned this too but they quickly sneak out and even make fun of the tough guys at the bar come on fat one more time okay we're on the baby hunt i don't think we don't know how to weed them out clearly they didn't get the lesson they were supposed to from this place then they go through a fish graveyard and stop at a random ice cream stand but it turns out it was actually a trap for a monster to lure
unsuspecting victims okay patrick you can let go now [Music] an ice cream store that's a facade for something darker that lures people in and keeps them trapped it's like the ocean is literally screaming the truth to spongebob and patrick but they just aren't getting it but then they reach an obstacle that's just too great for them to pass and it makes them re-evaluate some things about themselves we're not kids open your eyes patrick we worship a dancing peanut for corn sake you've been wearing the same goofy goober peanut party underpants for three years straight oh
you're right spongebob it isn't until mindy helps them realize that they're more than just goofy goober kids that they can continue on their journey they sing an entire song about how they believe in themselves now and patrick even says this i changed my underwear they have finally broken free from the colt's indoctrination but unfortunately it doesn't last very long they're stopped by a hit man plankton hired to take them out and he completely destroys all the progress they've made to grow his characters step aside and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our
mustaches these [Music] they were fake of course they were fake they end up getting abducted by a scuba diver who to them is a terrifying alien from another world which is an interesting parallel to reginald goober being taken by aliens they're taken to shell city in a room full of dead fish a place eerily similar to a death cult after a mass suicide while spongebob and patrick are being dried to death they decide to fully embrace the goofy goobers beliefs and spend their last moments alive singing the goofy cooper theme song [Music] [Music] but then
just like death cults always promise they and everyone in the room are reborn when the sprinkler system turns on whew this is uh it's getting real dark then we get to the climactic finale of the movie spongebob returns to the krusty krab now a changed man he has to battle plankton in his army of mind controlled slaves and this is how the final confrontation plays out and if i've learned anything during that time it's that you are who you are so yeah i'm a kid and i'm also a goofball and a wingnut and a knucklehead
mixed bag oh what's going on here but most of all i'm settle down take it easy what the scallop goofy i'm a goofy boober on first watch this is such a satisfying and cathartic moment for spongebob but in reality this is the moment that he has gone past the point of no return and becomes a goofy goober now this is normally when i pretend like the video was over and then surprise you with a last minute twist but i don't need to pretend this time if you think this entire video has been insane rambling and
none of this could possibly be intentional well then just for you i have saved my best piece of evidence for last are you ready while spongebob sings the goofy goober song we cut to him standing on the world and getting abducted by a ufo and even the ufo's lights make a pattern of red yellow red which is eerily similar to the goofy goober ufo that has two red cherries with a yellow banana in the middle and that is the goofy goober alien death cult theory hey uh wow didn't think i could uh make these theories
any darker could you gotta love that good old family-friendly pg-rated spongebob i am having so much fun making these videos don't worry we've got plenty more on the way i'm just making spongebob stuff from now on i've been your host alex the spongebob guy thank you so much for watching i will see you next time hey i'm gonna assume you're still down here um i thought about what you asked and sorry i i just can't i mean it's it's one thing to to buy you meat but a living animal like a cat that's not a
line that i'm willing to cross and if that means you're not gonna give me spongebob theories anymore then so be it but honestly man good luck finding someone else that's gonna be willing to be a part of whatever this weird relationship is between us come on i know you can hear me [Music] what did you do my boy i took what you brought me no no no no but but i changed my mind i didn't i didn't give you the cat you purchased the cat you brought it to this hole i simply finished the job
no no this is not what i wanted okay this is this isn't worth it we are [ __ ] done [Music] my boy we both know you can't go back now okay this is the last time that i want you out of this house [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
