red frag of Japanese men the cheating culture over here is different apparently they think foreign women are so easy they say I love you really quick hey guys how Takashi so today I'm going to interview foreign women what red RS Japanese guyses have so basically we're going to discuss about Japanese dating culture and Western dating culture from women's perspective okay let's get started where you from how long have you been Jaan um my name is Kira and I'm was born and raised in Tanzania and then I lived in Australia and America and I have a
working holiday Visa in Japan so I'm here for like 2 years I'm from America California in the US you're Japanese yes I'm Japanese American I've been here for almost two years now I'm from Russia my name is Elina I'm here for four or five months and I'm exchange student here study abroad I'm from Columbia and I've been in Japan for 2 years I'm from theor Congo and I've been in Japan for seven years so I'm from the Philippines so I've been in Japan for like almost 3 years now and you're half Japanese right yes I'm
half Japanese half Filipino I'm from Minnesota in the United States and I've been in Japan for 1 and a half years almost 2 years I'm from Melbourne Australia and I've been in Japan for 2 years now I'm from the UK but I currently live in Spain and now I'm living in Japan I've been here for 3 months and I will be going home soon I've been seven months in Japan right now and I'm from Colombia I'm From Italy I've been in Japan for more than one year and I study here okay so you mention do
you have experience of dating in Japan right yeah I did date sometimes yeah for a few months with Japanese guys with Japanese guys yeah how was it interesting to be honest like um there's clearly like a different culture like Italian Japanese culture is like the communication style especially is very very different so for example we are very very open actually want want to express like their feelings as they feel them but Japanese people I like most of them sometimes they just don't really communicate their feelings or they have maybe a different way to communicate them
but I don't know so it's like that is the most uh the big problem uh it was pretty fud to be honest um first I met these guys half from dating apps and half in real life and I would say as someone who's coming from Congo they were very similar to African men in a way they're very they have a high sense of chivalry and when you go on a date they like paying for things and being the man and stuff like that so yeah I think it was pretty similar to my experience dating in
Africa okay okay so we met on a dating app and then we started dating after a while and yeah that's how basically we became a couple he asked me to be his girlfriend on like the third date so that's that's so difficult yeah that's the way Japanese people started dating oh so so I I've heard like they asked on the third date so that's what he did so the whole relationship was like overall good one thing that I have noticed is it's completely different to Western dating in terms that like yeah if you come and
if you come here like and you date someone there like the three date rule or something so like maybe by like the third date you're more like boyfriend and girlfriend in Western cultures sometimes you can be seeing each other for three months before you even say like what are we so it's really different that way I've had nothing but positive experiences with guys I've dated in Japan I think they're kind of different in different regions like a guy from Tokyo is really different from a guy in Kyoto and I think everyone in general is super
like respectful and nice I think they're like they like to take care of women and like kind of treat you in a really polite traditional way you mentioned that guys from Tokyo guys from Kyoto so basically Kanto and Kai yeah how different I find guys from Tokyo to be more like edgy and like cool like I think they have like more like City Vibes so they're into like fashion and like photography whereas guys in like Kanai region are like really funny and like like nature like I think they're way more chill but both are really
nice people um I mean some of them went well and then others did not go so well they all speak English actually they all could speak English but some of them when I'm on a date with them we don't speak any English cuz maybe I think maybe they're embarrassed or shy so it was all Japanese okay so we met through Bumble and we've dated for like 4 months and yeah uh that was a good experience uh I I can say like it's it's a good experience though but it's not really dating but we are more
than just friends okay okay so how how did you meet him the university like how m he just started to talk to me and it was so strange because uh Japanese guy is really shy no I've never been on a date with a Japanese guy yet why uh it's kind of interesting I found that Japanese Society uh Japanese men are more like shy and uh well majority of them they don't speak English I'm still learning Japanese so obviously like the language is a little bit difficult to go out uh so it's mostly like the language
and uh I think they're not that open to dat foreign women why do you think so uh I think it's a like yeah very different culture maybe we they can think we're very like extroverted maybe they're like more like old school maybe they want someone that is more introverted like more shy more like a woman of the house maybe you married to a Japanese man right how did you go meet um we met online and we were friends for about one year and then he came to visit me in America and from from that point
we started dating and now we've been together for 2 years and married for almost 1 year how did you meet them first in person or only like Bumble or whatever normally in person I did have Bumble last year for a little while and was it it was very it was very interesting but um I met some really cool people there um some of my closest friends have actually come from Bumble um the Bumblebee FF and the normal dating side which has been cool but I love meeting people just like like walking around and at cafes
I've met a lot of people at cafes yeah bumble bumble yeah not Tinder no Tinder here is not very good I mean people on Tinder don't show their face a lot of the pictures are just food or animals and it has no information about the person so it's kind of scary especially as a woman you don't know anything but on Bumble you have to be verified a lot of the time and you know people actually show pictures of their face and it has stuff about their personality so and Bumble is actually half I would say
about half foreigners half Japanese people here so yeah you can find different people that you get along with or have things in common with there that's interesting I didn't know that cuz uh my foreign friends they all mention when they on a Tinder in Japan like there's no Japanese girls who showing their face so but for Japanese guy it's the same that's why I'm saying CU I'm I'm guys I don't know yeah the same on Tinder I think I don't know why it's just like a culture not to show your face on tnder I think
uh maybe still kind of judged maybe you might be judged but you're not judged to be honest so my friends my Japanese friends who don't speak English who don't have any experience of living abroad and stuff like they never use bumbles right yeah yeah cuz I think they don't even know the up oh yeah I think yeah it's mostly Japanese people that have interests I think in foreign culture that use Bumble or like want to practice speaking English you mentioned Rich up bumble um bumble and hinge are like yeah I've heard of it what is
the what's the difference of Bumble and Hing like da in Japan I think hinge is like more like down to Earth because you really have to put in effort in like what you write and I think you can get like a really good vibe off the people there and I think they're more handsome sometimes when I first came to Japan I wanted to make Japanese friends so I used like some haps for language exchange like ELO talk tandem whatever and in that case like you meet many guys that just want to date you they don't
want to exchange language so that is like very very hot uh cuz I mean if you need to date someone you just go to other HS like I I try I generally try to make friends there but it's yeah I just talk to girls now on that so red frags in Japanese guys or something negative is there anything you want to say I guess something negative is I think ghosting is a little bit more common here than than in the US I mean obviously in the US it's an issue too but here people will just
cut off communication without saying anything broken yeah or or just not messaging after you know messaging for a long time or seeing someone and then completely just ignoring you after I guess Japanese people generally speaking stereotypically like to avoid confrontation and so maybe it's a little more common here do you have experience or do you know someone who have experienced the I have experience with like suddenly people stop being messaging but I do have friends that have actually you know dated people and then suddenly they were ghosted or they didn't show up to the date
that was planned never yeah yeah that's bad yeah okay before we continue interviews this video is sponsored by Tokyo treat and sakurako sakurako is a subscription service where receive a monthly Japanese add snap box filled with traditional and Addis Japanese snacks scarco helps him part with local Japanese snack makers to continue to share Japanese culture and traditions that have been passed down for over 100 years this month theme is hot of isawa in January a major earthquake hit ishwa and I'm so grateful that sakurako is Raising awareness while highlighting delicious local sweets and Saku also
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link in the description below yeah um so cheating culture is a lot different okay in America and Japan first off so that caused some problems with us just because difference in like um morals and like different beliefs and stuff like on cheating and what not I think Americans consider a lot more things cheating like for example messaging other people online you know watching certain videos online um you know liking other people's posts but what I've learned about like Japanese women are lot like a lot looser with their definition of cheating so a lot of times
they'll let their boyfriends go go to you know brothel or let them you know message other girls online go out with other girls like hang out um go to girls bars and they don't really care about it but I think that um American women are a lot more like um strict about what they think is cheating do you have Japanese female friends who are saying that it's okay for them their boyfriends who do those kind of things yeah I've had I mean yeah I have a Japanese friend who says it's okay if her boy friend
goes to like girls bars brothel texts other girls as long as he tells her about it I'm not the same way I I say you know absolutely don't go to brothel you know I'm don't go to girls bar I don't want you to text other people really the cheating culture over here is different apparently um so sometimes if you go to like a prostitute that's not considered cheating but I've seen that is such a debate on like Tik Tok and Instagram all my videos oh yeah I think I also saw her on your video Once
what about your Japanese girlfriends what what do they say about that oh some of them don't care like some of don't care some of them don't care they're like oh like it doesn't matter because like they say in the videos like there's no love there feeding feeding yeah I'm like oh my God I would die like if I found out my boyfriend went to a prostitute like they wouldn't come back I'd be like you're not mine now I think it depends on from the couple for me I'm used to telling my feelings and like I
like to learn about my couple and like what they feel what they think about so for me language barrier will be pretty hard to overcome I'm from Colombia so we're used to saying things more directly and I think he didn't like that and he didn't know how to communicate either I will say so he will botle up like his feelings and stuff and then just suddenly just say them and I try to like show him more about how to communicate like in a more assertive way uh but I think we never really match in that
in Colombia they're like much more open if they like you they will say it like directly and they will be much more open when they invite you on a date uh in Japan what I found is more like a very reserved and very um respectful which I like uh but yeah it's very reserved so you don't know uh the majority of times what are they thinking if they like you if don't or yeah how to um act on a date so yeah it's very different it's more like introverted do Japanese guys approach you on the
streets or in person Yes actually but half the time it's kind of like NAA so that is kind of I think different but other times I was asked out it was like you know a person that worked at a coffee shop that I went to a lot and kind of that Vibe you know NAA NAA men it's when like a guy approaches you and they're like hitting on you so in English it's just like a guy coming up and hitting on you and they're very very persistent and it's such a red flag when they touch
you and like whisper things in your ear if someone wants to come and talk to me respectfully and then I tell them like I'm not interested and then they go like away that's so fine but they're really persistent like I've had people like after I tell them I'm married they'll say oh that doesn't matter you know just one night just one night of fun you know I've heard it from a lot of foreign women as well oh I've had I've had people come up to me um especially if you ever go through like shabuya if
you ever go through shabuya coming out of the station someone will come up to you um oh they will just come up and be like oh where are you from like and that's how they start the conversation even Japanese guys who don't speak English they try to speak English to you yeah they do and like because they're even trying to speak English to me like I want to like help them and like talk to them a little bit because maybe it's just nice practice and everything um I mean I love practicing my Japanese with people
yeah I've had people come up to me just on the street even just like anywhere and then some of my closest friends have just approached me before and that's just how we became friends which is really cool the fact that they are very those that I dat it were very uh manly in a sense that they want to have the last say they want to decide for you they want to not be corrected they don't want to argue for example when we have a deep discussion about topics that are you know about life about societies
about culture the Japanese men that I dat it would not want you to argue with them when they have an opinion they discuss with you and you tend to disagree they're like offended about it and it was the I think the main you know source of argument with me with a dating Japanese man was them not wanting me to talk back or to argue on what their statement these things are very normal I would say in because I've dated men for from different places in different continent but I felt like uh in the Japanese dating
scene you are the woman place is still very like old you know you are the woman type of you know and the man is the man so yeah I used to data like Filipino guys they're more like you know like more expressive direct yeah very direct compared to I'm I'm not generalizing all Japanese Japanese it's like based on my personal experience like it's kind of like more like passive Japanese guys as well yes yes yes the I mean like the Japanese guy that I dated like they don't take actions yes kind of like passive and
you know like they don't want to like communicate like you know like the open communication kind of avoid the serious topic yeah something like that you didn't like that I didn't like that at all cuz I feel like communication is like the most important in relationship usually uh in Italy it takes a lot of months to actually get to know the person first and then become girlfriend and boyfriend but here I feel like the old process is just speed up cuz cuz it's like after maybe a few month like one month uh or so it's
like oh do you want to be my girlfriend even though you your um emot like your feelings are not strong for that person you actually become a couple that's true I think people getting a relationship here it's more like casually than other places um yeah I think it's very quick and even though you're still trying to get to know the person you can be in a official relationship at the same time I think that's not the case in maybe like Western countries but yeah well I do think that Japanese um the way that they see
relationships is different to how we may see it in some other Western countries for example in Spain a relationship usually goes slow and it takes longer for someone to become boyfriend and girlfriend for them to actually become a couple however I feel like in Japan it's either nothing or everything you know they jump from um being friends or getting to know each other directly into dating they say I love you really quick and I don't know why like maybe they think because I'm strong no but also I think they do believe it sometimes like I
think it's like very like Fast emotions and maybe they get kind of get swept away but yeah that's not common in the US to say like I love you after like 3 days sometimes like I feel like some Japanese men only want to date me because I look different because I've met some people where I think it wouldn't even matter what I said they would just be like okay like I want to date you and I don't like that how did you notice that this one guy he wouldn't really ever engage in conversation that much
like like talking about topics and everything he would just nonstop just keep telling me like how he thought I was so cute and pretty and that and it just didn't feel like it was going any deeper than the fact that he just thought I was cute he looks a little bit like objective yes yeah exactly so I don't like that do you think Japanese guys in general attracted to non-japanese women or do you think Japanese guys want to date Japanese girls as far as you know as far as you know as far as I know
I find that Japanese guys kind of want to explore a little bit and like try something new because Japanese girls are a little more like traditional and I think they all kind of like stick to themselves in their girl groups whereas like someone that's foreign loves to like Adventure and is like really open-minded and can maybe teach them something new anything you want to say to the people who want to have experience with the in Japan for for women women women so I will say don't try to change your partner they are the way they
are so you should accept them and you should be with someone who accepts you too so yeah don't get into fights about changing the other person if they don't want to there is a certain stereotype from the Japanese men where they think foreign women are so easy to get that we get physical faster than a Japanese woman will go and then first or second day they would try to like be very touchy or try to kiss you or try to have very sexual comment you would think okay this is normal but it's not very Japan
likee so I think that's a red flag for me because I didn't want anything like casual like that so one location where they bring you on the first dat two how they behave with you physically if they're too physical too fast they don't want anything serious number three is introducing you to their friends if they not want to introduce you to their friends like that girl you're not going anywhere with them that's not a common in Japan I I find that that's pretty common in Western countri yeah it's pretty common like when the relationship is
getting somewhere the man kind of feel proud to like show you off or just you know it's just normal I would say steps of relationship right but if you keep seeing that man for a long time you never seen his friend or any anybody that's very close to him that we women use as a metric sometimes like who you are surrounded by says a lot about your personality right so if they hiding you from their friends and family I think that's a huge red flag which it happen often here yes yes I don't think I've
ever met any of my Japanese dates friends or anybody close to them yeah be clear with what you think is cheating cheting like what you define as cheating with your partner when you start dating them be clear have a conversation about it and also don't go to Shia alone at night if you're a woman oh yeah I think like the number one like tip that I could give is to learn the language you know just to to have like more like open like communication you think so yeah yeah yeah I think so because like you're
here in Japan so might as well like practice you know the the language also but I'm half Japanese that but but I mean like but if you live in Tokyo I think it's really easy to meet someone who can speak really good English right yeah yeah but you still think it's mandatory to learn Japanese it's really mandatory but it's really helpful oh that's true yes yes I think I used to think that there's like a specific difference between dating Japanese men and dating say an American man um but as I've been here longer I kind
of think that it's just up to a person's personality like obviously there are some stereotypes but you know there are shy American men and then also very forward and active Japanese men and it's not because they're American or because they're Japanese that they're that way I think a lot of it is just a person's personality okay thank you for watching so far how was it that was interesting I'm also planning to interview foring men in Japan about the experience of dating in Japan so when I upload it please check it out okay anyway thank you
for watching if you like this video click like please subscribe to my channel if you have any question you want me to ask people in Japan please leave the comment too see you next time [Music]
