They were humiliated at school, and they became beauties to get their revenge

Richard Nixon High wasn't the worst place to spend four years. Well, for the most part. By and large, it was your average suburban high school full of self-segregated cliques and stereotypical angst. And at the top of the food chain, the rich and beautiful. That's us. In the background. There's me, Indie Lipschitz, the assault victim. And the girl with the home alone look on her face? Oh, thanks. That's Jodi, my best friend. We've been best friends since third grade. I'm the one with the unfortunate eye patch. As you can see, high school kind of sucked for

us. And so did Jodi's aim. Zombie fascist! Intended target, Whitney Bennett. Voted most likely to be charged with war Crimes. She was 5 feet 7 inches of sculpted, flawless sociopath. Actual target, son of a Principal Whitmore, tormenting students since 1979. And that's how this whole thing started. The rock that launched a revolution. >> X-Files is on tonight. Can't. I have homework. What the heck? We get detention and Whitney does a hair Flip and gets off scot-free. Well, if it makes you feel any better in at least one of the infinite multiverses she doesn't. Hey. I

know it seems like high school is the center of this universe right now. >> say it gets better. Next year you'll be in Harvard, Vassar, MIT and I'll still be here serving quadruple bypass burgers at TGI Fridays. Or you could be serving an entirely new and decidedly classier Set in Boston when you come to live with me. Great. So in every multiverse you know of, I'm still waiting tables. That's awesome. I got to go. I've got family Jazzercise at 5:00. It's going to get physical. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT JAZZERCISING. I AM IN CONTROL. WEIRDOS, MANIACS.

HAYDEN. HEY HANS. Something smells scrumdiddlyicious. How was school? Oh, you know, legalized torture paid for by the American taxpayer. Did you make the appointment with the college counselor? Jodie, you're graduating this year. I think it's time you figured out where you're headed. Most likely into a menial job that doesn't pay a living wage so I can become a cog in the 21st century's Version of serfdom. When did you start speaking like Trotsky? Look, I just want you to be happy. I want you to to find something that you love. Follow your dreams. >> So, single

40-something postal carrier with a pets collection was what you put under your yearbook photo? Hey, this pets collection is going to be valuable one day. And single and widow are two completely different things. I know. Dad, I mean, it's been 5 years. You know, you're not getting any younger. Age is just a number. That closely correlates with death. You want me to start dating? I just want you to find something you love, Herb. Follow your dreams. I'll find a date if you find a direction. One of those things is a lot easier than The other.

It's not finding a date. >> It's not finding a direction. All right, so here's a new song. I hope you enjoy it. And by you, I mean me, because I would rather admit that Taylor Swift's music has touched my cold, dark heart than show it to you anybody. It's called Suburbageddon. What we're really studying will be on the test next week. Uh hey, Mindy, could you uh stick around for another second? Oh. Did my spectrophotometer malfunction? I knew I should have gotten a new one. Oh. >> Slow down, Sonic. I spoke with my old roommate,

who is on the alumni board at MIT, and she agreed to set up a special interview for you. Are you serious? As a radiation leak. Oh my god, this is perfect. Okay, next step, AC interview, then get in, obviously, get first pick for all my classes, graduate with honors, and then It'll set me up for one of the more prestigious graduate programs. >> Mindy, one step at a time. College is about more than just classes and grades. It's about exploring, having fun. I mean, I remember staying up all night with my friends solving proofs, cracking

equations. It was pretty wild. But, some of my best memories are just hanging out, meeting New people, living on the edge. God, I miss college. Well, in my experience, meeting new people usually leads to relentless mockery by said people. Don't you think that's a little pessimistic? Give people a chance. They can often surprise you. That is a point worth considering, Mr. Samuels. Go forth. Go. Okay. The world is ready to embrace you. Boo, loser. Eventually. Since Mr. Samuels was basically my real-life Yoda, I knew he was right. He'd proven it was time to give a

chance. I think we should ask Whitney to stop torturing us. Did you forget to wear your gas mask in lab again? Whitney's a person, too, right? If we approach her like confident, mature adults, she will respect us, and then we can coexist in peace. Of all the douche nozzles in this school, Whitney is the worst. She hasn't been that horrible. What's that? Okay, fine. But, it's this or suffer from abject humiliation for the rest of the year. So, I said to her, "If you don't stay away from Rick, I will call the police and say

that you molested my cat." And you have to register for that. I'm here. Took you long enough. One center cut, rare. Three meatball subs, extra sauce, a hard-boiled egg, And a kombucha. I'm going to die a virgin and you don't even care? Are you guys selling banned candy or something? Actually, no. We were wondering if we could talk to Whitney for a second. Do you have an appointment? It's fine, Mackenzie. I want to hear what Bill Nye and the lesbian have to say. Hello. We know that there has been some bad Blood between us throughout

the years, but we are seniors now and there is no reason why we can't finish off the school year being civil to each other. We thought that if we came and spoke to you like adults, we could come to some sort of mutually beneficial agreement. Wow. I applaud your courage. Okay. Wait, what? It didn't occur to me until this exact moment that I kind of respect you. You Didn't change yourself to blend in, which is much more than could be said for the rest of these automatons. Well, I'm glad we could come to this understanding.

Actually, Colin's throwing a party this Saturday. You should come. Thank you for coming. Friends don't let friends drive drunk. The mean attractiveness of this party is statistically significant. How do I Look? Soccer mom goes to the Olive Garden. I guess we shouldn't Colin! Oh, perfect. >> Thank you for hosting us. You have a lovely home. My mom says never come to a party empty-handed. >> Sweet. Oh. Huh. Have fun, baby. Hey, bro. We got next game. Oh. My god. Is that really how I just saw my first human penis? See, we are diversifying our portfolio

of high school experiences already. That contains Colin's urine. Hey. MIT and uh Wellesley? How's it going, guys? Well, we haven't been roofied yet, so. Wow. Aren't you enchanting? This is her trying to be nice. I'm hoping to get time off from this conversation for good behavior. You're funny, Wellesley. Thanks, Penn State. I'm Dave, by the way. We were lab partners sophomore year. Um Mindy. Mindy. Mindy, like uh Like Mindy. Like Mindy. Any uh any reason it would be awkward for me not to know your name? Not unless You're an avid follower of the piccolo section

in the school marching band. >> Ah, more of a tuba section guy myself. >> Well, then I'm Jody. Hi. There you guys are. Welcome to the 1%. Follow me. Our pleasure. Good luck. All right. Mackenzie, go fetch some drinks for our guest of honor, please. Oh, that's not nice. Dorks, balls, now. They want you to play pong. Like ping? No, beer. Oh. Boom. Drink. Come on. I think it's gone bad. No, that's just how beer tastes like. I don't lose. Excuse me. Hello everyone. May I have your attention, please? Whitney would like to say a

few words. As you may have noticed, we have some new additions tonight, Jodie Schellenberger AND MINDY LIPSHITZ. NOW, most of us walk past these two and have never bothered to get to know them. So, I put together a little video of our very own Jodie so we can all learn a bit more about her. Huh? Any requests? You're such a good kisser. I'd party down with you anytime out of Scott. You know how there are the birds and there are the bees? How familiar are you with male anatomy? >> Oh my god, Dad. I am

17. Got your tampons. Dad, no. I need maximum flow. Jodi, wait. Jodi, Jodi. You're late. How epic was Prank Gate? I want to be you when I grow up. You're going to be in power next year? This is your new Bible, The 48 Laws of Power. I suggest you keep in mind law number one. Never outshine the master. Your mom or man is like so happy. Don't wave. McKenzie, drive. Reach for the stars cuz you are my friend and you're killing it every day. >> Hey Jody, it's me. Your best friend. Um, I'm at school

right now and you know, it is really really not that bad. I'm okay. Oh my god, have you seen Jody's Instagram feed? Someone tagged a photo of her on a box of tampons. That is really not right. >> The prank was pretty twisted, Whitney. Even for you. I mean, how mental do you have to be to put that much effort into messing with a couple nerds who are just trying to make peace? All I had to do was teach myself how to hack a webcam, figure out Jody's IP address and then trick her into Responding

to a spyware email I learned how to write. You guys are demonic. You're like medieval to each other. I will not allow Big Bang Theory and her frizzy-haired lapdog to roam the halls of this school thinking that for one second they are my equal. Law 15, crush your enemy totally. Yeah. Oh Jody. Coming in. Remember that only my opinion matters. Hey, I brought you something. I brought you my favorite book on Tesla, who was also totally defeated and humiliated in his lifetime and has since regained popularity and had a resurgence of respect. Also frozen cookies.

They'll be good in an hour. And a mint. Yes. You know, one day we are going to look back on this and it Is going to be Just stop, Mindy. I told you this was going to happen. People like Whitney don't change. I knew I shouldn't have clicked on that attachment. New Tina Fey series piccolo players Okay. All right. No. No. No. We're not accepting defeat. Do we accept defeat? No. We are going to win this one. I'm sure you understand the definition of Winning. But this not winning. Hey. I am serious. We are going

to stand up for ourselves. Yeah. And how exactly are we going to do that? >> By beating those fascists at their own game. We are going to be popular. And not lame top 40 popular. Awesome popular. All of us. All of the people they have treated like second-class citizens and then copy their calculus homework. Popular people don't take calculus. I know because they are stupid dolts who are going to go to below-average universities and get mediocre grades and still end up being our bosses unless we do something about it right now. Just like that? We're

going to overthrow generations of ingrained high school social strata? Yes. Is there anything we have ever put our minds to that we have not accomplished? Well, we didn't get Firefly back on the air. Shh. Besides getting Firefly back on the air. Then no. Let's do this. And so it was. The revolution was born. And Tina Fey, if you're listening I'd still play piccolo for you. Power to the Pi's. The facts were Simple. There were more of us than there were of them. So, all we had to do was convince the outsiders, misfits, and weirdos of

the school to band together. Basically, we were going to unionize the outcasts. Power to the Pi's. Oh, wait. Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple. Oh! Well, that was a lucky shot. Gross, but lucky. Yeah. Power to the Pi's. Hi guys. I'm Claire, Ambassador Troop 2579. Welcome, Claire. Like where are your horse heads at? Going straight Godfather, huh? It's a unicorn for my spirit animal badge. You do realize that this is a meeting to launch a social revolution. Yep. I'm in. Whatever you guys need. Ah. Great. Well, why don't you take a seat inside and we will

be with you shortly. Yay. What the hell? We talked to pretty much every misfit toy in the school, and the only thing we have to show for it is Marcia Brady. Hey, all revolutions have to start somewhere. Oh my god. Sugar Jones incoming 12 o'clock. No eye witnesses. Activate shields. I hear you're trying to obliterate the jackhole normative power hierarchy of this pathetic excuse for a school. Well, Obliterate is kind of extreme, but yeah, I'm in. Okay, we may be small in number, but we're all here for a reason, right? Right. Wait, why are we

here? Jesus. >> If this is all we got to show, I say we just burn this mother down and be done with it. Arson sounds like a fabulous plan. If we need to get more people, we could go door-to-door like I do with cookies. It's an excellent way to bond With people in a place where they feel comfortable being themselves. Screw Girl Scout cookies. An obvious conspiracy to subjugate girls and force them into traditional gender roles by selling overpriced, unremarkable, and nutritionally deficient baked goods. We suck at this. This isn't a revolution, this is a

girl band. We need someone who can work the system, Karl Rove good witch style. Wait. Virginia. As president of the history, young Democrats, Model United Nations Club, I am Virginia Vander Camp and locked up most likely to succeed in third grade. Our junior year, Virginia launched the culmination of all her hard work, a campaign for student council president. She had a well-oiled political machine and several key endorsements. Vote for me, Virginia. Do you want a pin? Hey, Twilight. Vote Kyle. But despite her Best efforts, she lost to Kyle McDevitt. Whose campaign speech consisted of giving

out free Chipotle gift cards You want a burrito, Virginia? and spectacular abs. After a crushing defeat, she went where many a depressed and disgruntled American has gone before. France. Needless to say, she didn't come back from summer break the same. What's your shirt say? Hell is other people. Next. Oh, this girl definitely owns a pony. Does anyone else feel underdressed? Speak. Hi Virginia. This is Mindy Lipshitz, Jodie Shellenberger, Sugar Jones, and Claire the girl scout. We were trying to upend the social hierarchy of our school. Or destroy it. And we could use your help. I'm

not Interested in your futile attempts to make sense of the world's chaos. Begone. We were actually thinking more along the lines of revenge. We tried to talk to all the different groups, but nobody wanted to join the cause. Well, of course not. You think all the outcasts are the same, but really we're like snowflakes. Snowflakes that hate each other. Let me break it down for you. You've got your basic overachievers, your underachievers, your Emos, your goths, your bandos, your drama dorks, orchestra oddballs, and gleeks. Then there are kids lost in Middle-earth, kids lost in space,

kids who take up too much space. Your steampunk, cyberpunk, classic punk, kids with foreign parents, kids who are parents, twihards, kids who try too hard, kids who write binary, kids who reject the gender binary, gamers, stoners, loners, anarchists, activists, masochists, and atheists. There are more Strains of loser out there than the herpes virus. Uniting them under one banner, that is no easy task. So, we're screwed. I said it wasn't easy. I didn't say it was impossible. What is this place? It used to be my campaign headquarters. Prior to that, it was used by my father

to house his miniature horse collection. Prior to that, it was used by my schizophrenic grandfather to interrogate imaginary communists. He won an imaginary medal for that. Man, rich white people are I'm up. When I was running for office, I did a little research on the voters. So, this is where the NSA stores its data. These files represent the entire student body. Each one of them contains your standard class list, GPA, activities, hobbies, psychological profile, past and current lovers, and most importantly, weaknesses. No effing way. Points of weakness, Tina Fey Pickalow. Geez, am I that transparent?

Overtly aggressive, lack of impulse control, militant with anarchist undertones. Nice. Latent Napoleonic tendencies. What does yours say, Claire? It just says girl scout. What's in your file, Virginia? I don't have any weaknesses. These three files represent the kingpins of the school's underclass. Convince them and you have a shot at this thing. The key is figuring out what makes people tick and then exploiting it mercilessly. I like you, Virginia, even if you are named after a slave state. First up, Howard Chang, leader of the young entrepreneurs. Points of weakness, black mock turtleneck, tech-savvy women, and the

word billion. I get what you guys are going for. Uh I think it's very innovative, but it's just not right for us. We're working on an app right now that's going to blow up. Asia Vu, Facebook for Asians. And besides, I've got to look to the future, not worry about high school. I still have to get into Harvard, then drop out of Harvard before I can start my first company. Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels. You can quote them or disagree with them, but the only thing you can't do is Ignore them

because they change things. Do Do who said that? Apple. And that is why they make billions. Next is Martin Vimal, head of the science fiction club. Points of weakness, hard sci-fi, the sound of his own voice, and very aggressive women. Okay, here's the deal. Just because you're a science geek, doesn't mean We're your comrades in arms. Science is about what is. Any idiot can do that. Science fiction is about what could be. We're huge Doctor Who fans. Yeah, the Matt Smith years completely turned the series around. Completely. Tell you what. Give me the title of

one Neal Stephenson novel, just one, and I'll join your little group. You think skinny, anemic fanboys have a monopoly on the one fictional Genre where women and people of color get to exist outside of backwards societal norms and traditional confinements? Not to mention a genre largely premised on the idea that future dystopia is the inevitable outcome of the current system of patriarchal excess? Idiot. Oh, and Cryptonomicon, Snow Crash, Anathem. Should I go on? Louis Hammerschmidt, leader of the Fantasy club. Points of weakness, Elven languages, heroic aspirations, and any woman. Whitney Bennett is the Cersei Lannister

of high school. You guys are idiots if you think you can play the game of Thrones with her. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to end up like Ned Stark. Louis, think of it like this. What if Frodo hadn't left the Shire and fought against the Dark Lord? Dondra Ali. Louis. Thanks for the ride. I'm really glad I'm helping you guys with this whole thing. I've always admired you. Really? Why? You're just so unapologetic for who you are. It's been a recurring problem. So, when did you know? That I rubbed people the wrong way? I

haven't heard that one before, but yeah. Um You know, I guess it was pretty obvious since I was a kid, but I really hit my stride in middle school. I I rub people the wrong way, too. I mean, I haven't actually yet, but I want to someday. First, I have to figure out how to tell them. That you're rude and obnoxious? That I'm gay. Wait, what? It's so great to talk to somebody who's already out. You're like my hero. When you walked through the School with that sign on your back announcing that you were gay,

I could not believe how brave you were. Okay. First of all, someone put that sign on my back as a prank. And secondly, why does everyone think I'm gay? You do wear a lot of vests. Huh. I'm sorry. I I just I thought but No, it's okay. Um I'm really glad that you told me. So, when did you know? I think it finally clicked when I realized I didn't just love Veronica Mars. I loved Veronica Mars. Rage. I will I will see you at school in the halls, you know, and say hi To me. See

you later. See you. Things are happening, Herb. Things are happening. Yes, they are. New York Performing Arts School. Deal's deal. I have a date with Carol, and you have a date with destiny. Find love today. Things are happening. Raise your hand if you've ever eaten lunch in a bathroom stall. Been made fun of because of your weight, Ethnicity, sexual orientation, or knowledge of the periodic table of elements. Well, it's time we did something about it. >> you got to the point. It's been 42 seconds, and I still don't know your product, your plan, or your

profit point. If you want to endlessly pontificate, start a blog. We have a blog. It's called shut the hell up so we can tell you the plan. that.tumblr.com >> Oh, no. Here comes angry black girl. >> Oh, I'm not angry because I'm black. I'm angry because I'm paying attention. >> All we're saying is that if we don't stick together, we have no chance of standing up to the evil empire. >> What you're proposing is like the Rebel Alliance. >> Star Wars, classic sci-fi. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think Star Wars technically constitutes fantasy. >>

Uh in what galaxy? It's an archetypal Hero's quest. That's fantasy. Um yeah, set in a technologically advanced society with spaceships and sword fighting. >> Lightsabers are not swords. >> What about the Force? That's magic? >> Which was scientifically explained by midi-chlorians. >> Are you actually citing the prequels to me right now? Why do we have two sci-fi nerds here? He's sci-fi. I'm fantasy. It's totally different. >> Totally different. >> But neither of you get laid, right? This is exactly the problem. What is a popular person? What makes them different from us? Attractiveness. Flawless skin. A

large number of followers. Wrong. That's what they want you to think because they need you to believe that it's hard to be popular. The only difference between them and us is that They're unified. So, while we're sitting here tearing each other apart over who would win in a battle between Batman and Green Lantern? Batman. >> Batman. They're sitting pretty and ruling our school. So, what are you asking for? Blind loyalty? That we just pretend we're all friends? No. Not blind loyalty, real loyalty. We all have something in common. We've been kept on the outskirts of

a school That we helped make great. And we are the movers and the shakers. We are the club presidents and the innovators. We are the ones with our hands on the beating pulse of otherness that make America the best effing country in the GD world. So, I say let's stop bending over and taking it and stand together. And so it began, our Independence Day. At first, the changes were small. A smile here. A random act of non-douchebaggery there. In shared struggles, former enemies forged new alliances. Black shirts unite. Some of us learned the ancient art

of not getting our asses kicked. So, I'll just try not to hurt you, too. Some of us combined forces to design innovative solutions to age-old problems. >> purple neck? >> I lost my iPhone and I'm going to need yours. You've got 5 seconds to hand it over. What the hell is that? What are you going to do, dildo bag? Yes. Smells like Comic-Con in here anyway. And once the outcasts became a united front, the rest of the school fell like dominoes. Political power? Check. Never getting picked last again? >> Come on! CHECK. YOU MIGHT CAN

SUCK IT. And that is why The singularity is near. Debate tournaments were in. Organized sports were out. And slowly, things began to actually change. Dork was the new popular. We couldn't believe it. Every flavor of weirdo was breaking bread together. We should do something to celebrate how awesome we are. Yeah. Even the gossip kind of happy. Guys, We just pulled off the bloodless coup of the century And it is probably just a phase or something. Like, I heard Mercury is supposedly going renegade. Here's the truth. One day, I will be in a place where power

isn't determined by acne suburban subliterates. And that place will be Princeton. But for now, I have to cater to these morons who apparently think pretending they're popular actually means they're Popular. What's wrong with number five? Much depends on our reputation. Guard it with our life, get it? We are our reputation. So, right now I'd say it's pretty clear that we are Mhm. Toast. The thing about power is when you don't have it, someone else does. So, you say phase and I say insurrection. And if Stalin taught us anything, the only response to insurrection is to

crush it. Quickly. Stephanie, purple is definitely your color. Chase, good luck on that first chair oboe audition. Sarah, your Blanche DuBois was transcendental. Hey, you, me, Magic the Gathering. Period. Oh, Mr. Samuels. Meth head. I'm just kidding. Oh. Oh. Nice balls, Melton. Who is Heather Chandler again? Like Pandora's box opened up and it was filled with weirdos and losers. Oh, what's that? Yeah. Every scientist needs an arch nemesis. He's right, though. The school does seem different lately. You have anything to do with that? I can neither prove nor disprove that hypothesis. >> Well, whoever is

responsible, I can't Help but thinking it is exactly the type of person who would go over like gangbusters in an MIT interview. Gangbusters. I don't know. I've got it narrowed down to two. I've got maroon and black, and I'm not sure which goes better with my dickie, but my dickie kind of goes with everything. And I keep thinking, what would Neil deGrasse Tyson do? But then again, I'm not Neil deGrasse Tyson. But then again, Mindy, Mindy, stop worrying. They'd be Darwin Award grade morons not to take you. >> imagining how great it would be next

year. Me at MIT, you coming to live with me in Boston. Um Mindy, there's something I've I've Oh, oh, okay. I got to go. That's my mom. Wish me luck. Good luck. But then in ninth grade, the Young Astronomers Association selected me for the Rising Star Award, which I accepted despite the lazy pun. And then in 10th grade, I won second prize at the state science fair for my project anisotropic versus isotropic materials. >> Okay, Mindy, it's clear that you're really talented scientist. Yeah. Great grades, great test scores, but what makes you tick? What makes

you special? Like, okay, when I was at MIT, I was a member of the hacks, right? Learned more from pulling off those pranks than in any class I took. So. Well, as I mentioned, I am president of the school's science club, and a National Merit Scholar, and I can recite the entire periodic table of elements. Would you like me to I can do it. There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, Selenium, and hydrogen, and oxygen, and nitrogen, and rhenium, and nickel, and neodymium, and neptunium, and germanium, and iron, and americium, and ruthenium, and uranium, and europium, and zirconium,

and lutetium, and vanadium, and lanthanum, and osmium, and astatine, and radium, and gold, and protactinium, and indium, and gallium, and iodine, and thorium, and thulium, and thallium. There's Hey. Tiny dancer, what's going on? What you listening to? Um Bowie. What's that, Nickelback? Oh, yeah. Huge Nickelback fan. Love it. Canadian icons. You like Carole King? She makes you feel like a natural woman. Who can't relate to that? You know what I mean? Let's not forget that the last time I saw you, you and your friends orchestrated the most humiliating moment Of my life. Yeah, okay. First

of all, I'm sorry. I had no idea that was going to happen. Do you think that anyone knows what's going on in American Psycho Barbie's head? No. And second of all, It's not supposed to be that humiliating. Except in all the ways that it was humiliating. I'm surprised you didn't change schools. But here, like hey, positive side, eczema song. Knocked it out the park. >> Can you just Rickets. Do you have a song about rickets for my granddad? He's got rickets. I don't I don't get it. Rickets, you wouldn't get it. You're a young woman,

very healthy. No. I mean, you know, you seem like you are a completely heinous human being and have at least a modicum of a soul. That is the sweetest thing that anyone's ever said to me. Thank you. How can you hang out with Adolf Hitler? Look, trust me, I know how awful she is. Well, you think you have a copyright on teen angst? It's high school. We're all put into a box and marginalized. Look at me, I hang out with Colin. I've known Colin since the second grade. The guy is is an idiot. But what

am I supposed to do? Not all of us have the guts to stage a full-scale rebellion. Minnie's the brains behind the operation. >> I mean, you just write the theme music. Look, um for what it's worth, I'm glad you didn't transfer schools. My hand's on your shoulder. Full contact, shoulder touching. Pound it. Blow it up. Cool. It's supposed to be. Okay. Oh, um by the way, Bowie totally made weird awesome. Checkmate. Killing it. People think pretty girls can't be smart, but it's like don't pigeonhole me. Uh don't you mean pigeon hold? Ew. What's a pigeon

hold? What's a pigeon hold? It's like if you hold on to a pigeon, it can't fly away. Yeah. It's like let me fly. Where the hell is everyone? >> Hey Mackenzie, look at that. Look at that. I think everyone's at the lame party. Really? That's awesome. What the hell is your problem? Hm? You know what my problem is? You're uh you're super evil. You're like African rebel group dictator evil, and I can't do it anymore. So, I think I'm going to check out the lame party where I hear the hosts aren't total ass hats. You'll

fit right in. I think I'm going to go to that party, too. I mean, it sounds like there's girls there. Dude. I think someone should probably scope it out, too. You know, like do some double agent shenanigans. Mackenzie! Hey, so what's in this, anyway? My own personal secret blend of choice chemicals and a dash of genius. I call it Lip Shits and Giggles. You're right. I Do have the vaguest urge to laugh. Whoa! Looks like I picked the right party. Damn, right. Dave. Dave, Dave, like Like Dave. Like Dave. So, do you know anyone who

can get me into the witness protection program? Oh my god. Tell me everything. And for you? Who wants lip shots? So, Principal Whitmore gave you two months detention for protesting the summer reading list? I always heard it was because you threw a flash bomb at the glee club. How is that some rumor I started? Well, we should organize a protest. What do you know about protesting, Pollyanna? I know you think girl scouts are silly, but the whole point is to empower girls so we can change the world. You know, Gloria Steinem, Hillary Clinton, and Sandra

Day O'Connor were all girl scouts. Hmm. Maybe you're not as puppy and unicorn as you seem. I thought I would be just better at jousting. I don't know, like a because of a reach thing. Better long lance. >> Cuz you got those long spindly ones. >> I Thank you. Spindly? Oh, wow, there's a piano here. You know what that means? Well, you write any new songs? You know what? I actually just wrote one in my head called Our Party Is Way Better Than Your Party. It's weird. Thank you. It's nice. Sweet. Actually, I am working

on one now, but um it's stupid. Oh, I will be the judge of that. Sit down. Ugh. Do I have to? Yeah. Yeah, you're going to have to play something for me. Sorry. I can't believe you're making me do this. All right. >> On the outskirts going nowhere, but I've heard that the truth is out there. I just hope one day I can show there is more here than what they know. And that's all I have. That was all you? That was great. Are you kidding me? That was awesome. It's really good. I was just

thinking about the chorus. What if it went Wow, I didn't know you played. I don't like to let people behind the candelabra. That's a good place. So, when do I get to hear the rest of your songs? Maybe some time. Later. Hey. Oh. Oh. Hey guys. Um, I just wanted to let you know that they're reenacting the Battle Of Trafalgar at on the beach. So. Awesome. Let's do that. That's way better than Naval battle? Huh? I think I speak for everyone when I say that Saturday's shindig was one of the best, nay, the best party

of all time. Hear, hear. Now, does anyone have anything to bring to the council's attention? Upcoming events, seminar ideas? Yes. Sherry and I did some research and it turns >> What about sabotaging the lacrosse team? We finally established strategic dominance. Now is the time to exploit our advantage. And those guys had it coming. >> A few tablets of Ex-Lax in the team's water coolers and their bowels will explode like Krypton. >> You think Steve Jobs became the greatest of visionary of all time by being Satisfied with creating the iMac? He changed it up and created

the iPod, then the iPhone, then the iPod touch, then I got it. I got it. A little explosive diarrhea never hurt anyone. >> Yes. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Hey, want to play Settlers of Catan? Oh, I can't. My dad's new lady friend is coming over with her kids so we can all meet each other even though it's only Their second date. Well, that sounds fun. >> All right, you guys got to go. You know how my parents feel about organized labor, so All right. Oh god. Uh But what do I

do? Is it Is it too neat? Is my hair too neat? Should I mess it up? I mean, don't the ladies like it messy? Oh, Herb. Sweet, sweet Herb. Listen, you haven't dated in a while, so I feel the need to tell you that at your age, women aren't super concerned with the way you style your hair as much as they are impressed that you still have hair. Oh no. Relax. Awkward doesn't suit you. Yes. No, awkward. Okay. Hi. Hi. You must be David. Of course you are. Who else would you be? I mean, you

wouldn't bring a dick to dinner. I'm Herb. Uh uh David, this is my daughter Jody. Jody, David. Uh Jody, Carol. Carol, Jody. David, Carol, Herb, Jody. Everybody knows each other. Introductions out of The way. Come into the house, please. This is the way in. >> Jody, it's Mindy. Call me. I suggested, "Hey, why not take the shorts up an inch above the knee?" They said, "No." But, with respect, they said no. Um I also have made >> Hey guys, can you just give me these? And these? You guys done, right? Well, not not quite, but

Almost done. Sure. Thank you. Hey. Hey. What if they get married? Then we almost committed stepsest. Hey, you were the one who went in for the kiss. No. No way. You were practically undressing me with your eyes. Undressing you? Aren't you 40? Mr. Oh, I don't eliminate people behind the candelabra. Fine, we'll just chalk it up to equal parts creepy. I don't know where this goes. So, friends it is? Yeah, in the interest of not having our family tree go in a circle, friends. I'm sorry. I realize referencing having children with you makes it more

creepy. Yeah, it does. I got an operation plan to Photoshop the cheerleaders yearbook picture. Can I get the green light? I don't care. Do what you want. I have been looking for you all day. Oh My god, last night was like the seventh circle of awkwardness. I called you. I know. It was insane. I got wait listed at MIT. Wait, what? No, no, no, there there's got to be a mistake. Hey, I want names. It doesn't matter. Hey, guess who's coming to dinner? It's a weird joke. Hey, did you hear? Actually, not. Um Not a

good time. Her dad and my mom, They're they're totally dating now. That's crazy. Oh, hey, uh side point. Found a perfect song for your audition. Audition? Thanks, Dave. I'll take it from here. It's just for a performing arts school. In Boston? In New York. I was going to tell you. It's no big deal. Of course it's a big deal. I'm sure you'll get in. And it's a good thing you've got Dave to help you with your audition. Mindy, don't be mad. I got to go. Yep. Hey, we'll talk later, okay? Sorry. It's okay. Let's just

go. Mindy Lipschultz, please report to the principal's office. This is an all new level. Stealing chemicals and lab equipment From the school. Come on, Les. Mindy is one of my best students. She would never do that. Really? Why don't you have a look-see? Okay, well, that one is clearly photoshopped. Well, guess what? You're out of the science club. Forever. This must be some mistake. >> sweater vest. Luckily, we still have students like Whitney Bennett who had the courage to bring this sick delinquency to my Attention. Get out of my office. Mr. Samuels, why didn't you

defend me? What do you want me to do, Mindy? You went to MIT. The greatest academic institution in the known universe, and you're still being bullied by an overgrown frat boy. Oh my god. You totally broke her. Plot 42, strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter. Straight back to you. Are you sure you want this? I want it. So, phase change and pressure. Can anyone tell me what the exception to the rule of Brothers and sisters, it is time to open your eyes. Whitney Bennett, for four years she has crafted a meticulous image as

the rich girl who had it all. Well, brothers and sisters, Whitney Bennett is not who you thought. The mansion her family supposedly lives in? Try the servants' quarters. Her father, the hedge fund manager? These are the only hedges he's ever managed. The mother who works in fashion? Only if this constitutes working in the fashion industry. Her older brother getting a master's in business at Wharton? The only business he's mastered is delivering pizzas. The truth is revealed. The only reason Whitney was always so intent on exposing all of your weaknesses was so that you would never

discover hers. Whitney Bennett is a liar. Dude. What was that? That was our revenge over Whitney. You do realize that you just did the same thing to her that she did to me? Exactly. It's called revenge. I don't get what Your problem is. This is what you wanted. We set out to change things and we did it. We won. Doesn't feel like we won. Feels like we're becoming the things that we used to hate. My whole life I played by the rules. I did all my homework. I colored in the bubbles with my number two

pencils. And what did it get me? Teased. Tortured. Ignored. Wait-listed. Do you know what turning the other cheek gets you? Two black eyes. The old Mindy was a pushover. Who thought she was going to go to MIT, engineer the perfect hydrogen fuel cell, and get an element named after her. >> But she said it can still happen. If you have a problem with what we are doing, you should do something about it. If this is what it is, then I'm out. I promise to follow the rules. I got to feel it. For now. What? we

had succeeded in creating a new world order at Richard Milhous Nixon High. Turns out power is a potent drug, and with Whitney publicly humiliated and officially dethroned, the underlings of our school had now become its overlords. My hands are registered as lethal Weapons. Well, this sucks. I told you we should have just burned this mother down. Here, here. Has anyone seen Whitney? She's gone AWOL. I never thought I'd feel bad for someone who affectionately references Stalin. Now we should shove his head into a toilet. You know what I'm saying? Look, I never meant for things

to go down like that. Oh, come on. Don't tell Me you're not having a doorgasm over this. Google alert, you did the same thing to me, and did I go into hiding? But your threshold for humiliation was already so high. No, wait. I I I'm Were you trying to apologize? It It just gets stuck in my throat, but I know you're right, okay? You're right. Okay. Thanks. >> I'm going to cut right to the chase. I intend to rule the school next year, but the only way you become the best is by working for the

best. I thought that was Whitney, but apparently I was wrong. I won't pretend to like your fashion choices, but you've got a lot to teach me, and I'd like to offer my services as your intern for the rest of the school year. Prom is almost here, and we still don't Have a theme. So, I'd like you to rally your various factions to back my proposal for Enders prom. Support my bid for prom king, I'll vote for whatever theme you want. Wait. I'm running for prom king. I'm the only one who knows how to wield a

sword effectively. >> Boo. I thought we were letting Colin win so we could prank him. >> No, we never went over that. I'm going to be king. Oh, no, you're not going to Be king. I'm going >> Mindy, I am willing to make you queen with a five-year no beheading clause. >> beheading clause? As I sat there listening, I realized how ridiculous it all was. We had pretended we cared about coming together, but in the end people only cared about themselves, even best friends. So, it had all been a lie, which was fitting since, when

you think about it, most of high school is a lie. Everyone Faking it, trying to act cooler, or smarter, or older, or just more sure of themselves than they really are. And I couldn't help but think, wouldn't it be nice for once if people just told the truth? So, you're going to drug prom. That makes it sound so serious. It's a Lipschutzium is a very mild form of truth serum in gaseous form. Think of it like a very smart person's version of spiking the punch, okay? Oh, I'm fine With you drugging prom. So, why change

your mind about working with me? You may be a duplicitous opportunist, but at least you're honest about what you want. Hm. >> Thank god you're back. Do you know what it was like being the only hot person in this school? The army of dorkness is multiplying faster than the Kardashians. No. Sorry. Have it. So, are you going to prom? Hell, no. Hey Whitney, can your dad mow my lawn? You have a message from mom. Make sure you drive safely to school, honey. YOLO. Love, Mommy. I'm sorry you had to see that. You don't need a

date to go to prom. The date, the dress, the revelry. I I I Don't even know where to begin with my hatred. And anyways, Mindy and I had always planned on doing a Star Wars marathon on prom night. 13.24 hours, prequels and all. I get it. It's just What? I had a chat with Mackenzie. She's apparently Mindy's intern now, and she wouldn't tell me anything, but it sounds like Mindy's planning some sort of crazy prank at prom. And she's not done Getting her revenge. Why are they fighting on a hovercraft above molten lava? Well, I'll

go about to tell you. Obi-Wan here is just trying to be a good friend and to keep Anakin from acting like a total jackhole, but Anakin is more interested in making a stupid power play than in hanging out with his best friend. I don't know. Seems to me Obi-Wan is being pretty Brave. Standing up for the fate of the universe trying to help out his friend who seems to be going through maybe a rough time. Even if Obi-Wan ends up having to chop off his best friend's legs, and his best friend ends up turning into

some mouth-breathing golf cyborg who eventually kills him. Yeah. Even then. Jody, there's one thing that I do know. Nothing great ever happens when you're sitting on the sidelines. [ __ ] I got to go to prom. Thanks, Dad. Jody, I am your father. Your founding father. I really hope this isn't genetic. Dad, are there any old clothes in Mom's Closet I can wear? Wow. What a vision. Just got off the phone with Carol. Dave doesn't have a date either, so she's going to bring him over here so you guys can carpool. Dad! It's fine. You're

just carpooling. It's not going to be awkward at all. You guys, come on. Squeeze in over here. Grab her waist. Not the sister. And Perfect. All right, see you. Okay. All right, so I'm Okay. The the is clear. Let's go. We are so breaking bad right now. Okay. Who came up with this theme anyway? The patriarchy. You beckoned? Want to make the move? Fine. Whatever. >> to get up to get down. I think I might actually be a PC. Maybe my therapist is right. I am dating my father. Is there any way to deny that

all human suffering originates in human desire? And that's the only way to end suffering is to end desire. But the illogical and futile nature of desire will inevitably win out over our rational nature. This punch Is good. I know that everybody loves Harry, but and I I can certainly appreciate Zayn's brooding charm, but for my money, Liam is the unsung hero of One Direction. I find everything about you repulsive, yet I'm strangely drawn to you. That is the nicest thing a girl has ever said to me. I love you, man. Yes, homo. I find myself

incredibly attracted to You despite that pantsuit. Here we go. This is awesome. Thank you, Adam Scott. Hey, um I really like you. I really like Oh, damn it. Um I got to go. I'll find you later. Promise? Hey. Where have you been? Sorry, I was I was just in the janitor's closet making out with my future stepbrother. Okay, we have to find Mindy and before her plan goes into effect, God knows what she could do. She has a really good chemist, you know. Really good. Oh my god, what is all this? Is she trying to

poison the school? >> I wouldn't put it past her at this point. What do you think this does? Expose the truth. Nice. Some best friend you are. I'm sorry, is the person who's building a chemical weapon questioning my integrity in this scenario? I figured it was about time somebody cut through all the [ __ ] so we could see who people really were. >> I told you you couldn't trust her. And now all of a sudden you're you're you guys are BFFs? >> Yeah. Because between you and Whitney, Whitney is the one who is acting

less LIKE AN EVIL DICTATOR. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I am the one who finally stood up to her, which is something that you've always been too scared to do. I'm turning you in. You're not with me, you are my enemy. Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must. You will try. NO! NO! WHITNEY, GO GET HELP! NO, THANKS. GO GET LOST 21? PLAY A SUCKER TO catch a sucker. Emergency, I need to report a crime in progress. Okay, everybody. It is that time in the evening that you've all been waiting for.

Your very handsome principal is about to announce your prom king and queen. YOU SHALL NOT PASS! AND THE PROM KING IS LOUIS HAMMERSMITH? WOW, you guys suck at this. Make way or I'll have you drawn and quartered. My fellow classmates, I intend to rule you all with an iron BUT NOBLE FIST. AND THE PROM queen is Oh, the lovely Miss Claire Stewart. Congratulations. Oh, wow, you look lovely. Thank you. And let's let Beauty and the Beast regale us with a little dance. Watch your step. Hey, do you need my help? No, I got this. Where

have you been? And your prom doesn't start until 11:00. I'M SORRY. WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME? >> BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY TO ATTEND TO MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS. YOU KNEW HOW MUCH MIT MEANT TO ME. >> I AM SORRY THAT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I FOUND A BOY THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME AND BROODINGLY SEXY. OH MY GOD, JODIE, stop it. You think I'm totally awesome? Yeah. Cool. That's great. Thanks, man. AND I AM REALLY SORRY THAT FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOUR 10-YEAR PLAN DIDN'T GO PERFECTLY. BUT YOU

KNOW WHAT? SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT LIKE THE REST OF US! OH, EW. ARE YOU TWO GOING TO make out now? You know what, WHITNEY? SHUT UP! I DEFENDED YOU. EVEN AFTER ALL OF THE HORRIBLE crap that YOU PUT ME THROUGH, I STILL TRIED BECAUSE I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO FEEL BAD FOR YOU. DO YOU think I actually care what these people think of me? High school is over. I just wanted you two to know before we all left that I'd won. That I will always win. And whenever I want, I can take

away that which you hold most dear and crush it. And it barely took any push at all to turn you two into Cain and Abel. Frankly, I think I did you a favor. Otherwise, this little horror show likely would have dragged on for another few years before you two cut your losses and moved on. Maybe she's right. It was stupid to think that we would still be friends after high school. You're going to do your thing. I'm going to do mine. And and 10 years we'll see each other at the reunion and smile. Maybe that's

the way it's supposed to be. If that's how you really feel, then maybe we should just stop avoiding the Inevitable and and end this right now. It is how I feel. Well, that hurt. Not as bad as that. You got to be kidding me. And with that, the revolution was over. The police let me go, calling Lipschitz a misguided but ultimately harmless prank. After a hefty suspension, Mindy returned to school. And all the cliques returned to how They'd been before. I drug prom. Every scientist has one great regret. Look at Oppenheimer. So, I had time

to do some thinking while I was in the clink. It wasn't just an adolescent rite of passage I ruined. I destroyed all the good I did. I had an opportunity to re- change things. And when it came down to it, I was no Different than Whitney Bennett. I'm not going to tell you it was okay what you did. But I understand it. It's hard feeling like you're giving your best and people don't value you. There are always going to be jerks. That doesn't change after high school. And you can spend your life trying to beat

them or prove them wrong or get even with them. But that's all Wasted energy. What you need to do is figure out what and who is important to you and fight for that. The rest doesn't matter. >> Yes. Yes. Mr. Pining? Oh my god. I got it. Everything. What are you doing here? I couldn't let you go in there without you knowing how proud I am of you. Mindy, I got into MIT today. And it didn't mean anything because you weren't there to celebrate with me. I don't know how things got so messed up. Okay,

no, I do know. I went totally Dr. Strangelove. But the thing you said about us being high school friends, you're not my high school friend. You're my best friend. We're the radical two. You will always know about the face plant I got. I got you this dental bridge. You will always know I prefer odd numbers to even. I don't know where life will take us. Hopefully, hopefully, to the 2020 Grammys and the first human settlement on Mars, but it doesn't matter because all I know is that I want you in my life for all of

it. I am so and I'm back. I'm so sorry. I was too busy exploring my sexuality. It's okay. Sexuality is important. Oh my god. I'm so glad you're here. You have no idea. I'm totally freaking out. Look at me. Remember science fair finals? I was so nervous I could almost puke on my bacteria cultures. You made me do it. Okay. Get it together, Jody. I think I know what we have to do. Reach for the stars cuz you are my friend. We're really killing it every day. Miss Sheriden Bogel? Wait. Do or do not. There

is no try. My best friend. My best friend. Star Wars quotes. The end of that. >> As I stand before you >> So, high school was finally over. And maybe it was just the Stockholm Syndrome talking, but for the first time I kind of felt like I was going to miss the place. We had tried so hard to tear down the entire system that we lost sight of what our high school really was. People. People on the inside. People on the outside. People learning who they are. Who they want to be. Who they don't want

to be. Because no matter who you are the prom king the fashionista or the future disgraced senator, high school is the same. It's the best of times. It's the worst of times. Full of wonderful people. And not so wonderful people. And it's once-in-a-lifetime. And we made it through. We did it. We're members of society. We have the diploma. We proved it everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. Well done to you, too. I'll call you, Wellesley. All right, Penn State. Hey guys. Come on. Hey guys. Hi. Hi. Jody, Claire, Virginia. Sugar, I Was wondering if you would

perhaps honor me. >> I'll see you this week, Martin. Thank you. Hey, the heart wants whatever pasty bespectacled thing the heart wants. And don't you look so smug because you know what our next mission is? Getting you your first date. Yes. That's me. I'll see you this week. Deal. Bye. That's my driver. Spill it. What are you doing next year? Little of this, a little of that. I'm just going to see where the wind takes me. That girl's going into the CIA. No doubt. You ready, Dolores? Don't even. That woman birthed me? She can call

me whatever she wants. No problem, Dolores. How did Dolores? I'll see you this summer, Dolores, yeah? We miss you already, Dolores. Love you, Dolores. Be strong, pound, Dolores. So, Martin and Dolores. We're right? Funk it. I said Oh, yeah. >> Got it. Wait. Just forgot. Open it. One economy class train ticket from Boston to New York City. Next year is going to be epic. Next year? We still got the summer. Battle slime marathon at my place? Oh, you know it. Woo! Hey! >> But do you know me? Cuz I Know you. Oh, it's been a

week since I fell apart. They say it's getting better. But if this is the end, then when was the start? They say it's getting better. They say it's getting better. Cuz I know you. Oh, it's been a Week since I fell apart. They say it's getting better. But if this is the end, then when was the start? They say it's getting better. Cuz I know you. I know. I know. I know. Do you know me? >> Oh. Oh. >> Mhm.