obviously one of the big questions that I got from guys was how do I last longer and how do I have better erections and so talk to me a little bit about um the the art and the science of lasting longer let's begin there cool I mean we were cultivate the the pool and stuff so it's always the first step cut cut that crap out right lasting longer is a a large component of lasting longer is basically pavloving pavlovian conditioning or like just conditioning in general and how you have conditioned your body to react to
sexual stimuli or physical stimuli in a lot of cases so though the way that men masturbate the way that especially when it comes to pornography a lot of guys will deliberately accidentally training themselves to finish quickly because they'll jump online or watch a video and then beating their meat as fast and vigorously as they can and they're trying to finish as fast as they possibly can and obviously what is that doing if you don't understand anything about pavlovian conditioning or you know anchoring and conditioning in general you're literally just training your body to bust as
quickly as you possible you can so why are you surprised that when you are with a beautiful woman who's and it's probably a novel experience for you if you're not having that much sex why are you surprised then if you're coming very quickly you expect it's like it would be like walking to and from the grocery store every day and then expecting to run a marathon yeah right you're just not gonna you haven't conditioned and trained your body to respond that way uh so obviously if you have if you have a long-term partner um and
you're still running into that kind of an issue like it's not in that case it's probably not a novelty thing because she's not genuinely super novel right because you've been with her for several years but you still might be conditioning yourself to have sex with her in a certain way that leads to you climaxing quickly so one of the things I always used to do whenever I was having sex on set for pornos is I'd always do my my least favorite sex position first because what tends to happen is if a guy and you know
this is from my own personal experience and from you know talking with other other uh you know professional male adult film stars like myself is if you can last at least like five minutes if you can kind of get over that hump of like excitement within the first five minutes then typically you can last as long as you really want but if you if you lose control if you with a slightly out of your control within his first few minutes then you're kind of playing uh you're playing catch up you're kind of in recovery mode
the whole time so the first position or the first thing first kind of physical stimulus you go through during sex will tend to dictate like house sensitive you feel throughout the rest of the sexual interaction um and another thing or not a very very common thing that I noticed amongst other male porn stars is they'll go down a lot that's they'll start sex by like by eating [ __ ] and they'll start that way because it does two things one the the actual like in in flux and the the smell and the indoctrination of like
pheromones that you can get from you know a woman's groin area makes you excited and and makes you aroused and gives you it gives you a hard-on and two it allows you to have that hard on without it being overly stimulated start with for a few minutes so you can have control over it and you can last them as well yeah that's that's the last thing longer side of things in terms of the erection side of things there's two so there's two differences between there's a difference rather between you know what's known as erectile dysfunction
and what's known as performance anxiety and people tend to conflate these two together unfortunately um erectile dysfunction is a blood flow issue it's like a it's a physical conditioning of you know your you've got arterial plaques perhaps in you know not just arteries throughout your body but also there's arteries in your penis and if you have arterial plaque in there like calcium deposits then you will not be able the blood vessels can't you know it relax as much expand as much and be filled with as much blood so that will hinder your ability to maintain
a strong long-lasting erection so that's kind of erectile dysfunction and that all of that comes down to diet exercise hormones being as healthy as you possibly could be unfortunately due to the standard Western diet that tends to be compromised quite a bit and then the performance anxiety side of things is the mental component uh one of them a big mistake that people think when it comes to this problem they can't get it up in the bedroom the first thing they do is they reach for the they reach the little blue pill they reach for Viagra
or Cialis or something like that and what you don't realize or what they fail to realize is that a lot of the times when that actually works it's a placebo effect because it doesn't diagram showers don't give you an erection they help you maintain one for a longer period of time it's a blood flow that biography Alice fix they don't fix the mental component you can still be you can take as many Viagra as you like and you can still be too nervous to get an erection button because it doesn't excite you the ex the
feeling of excitement is what starts the process of giving you a voter in the first place and if uh if you're if you're in your head too much if you if you're self-conscious if you're nervous if you're you're doubting yourself sexually in doubt you're doubting like whether or not your partner is like kind of interested in you and in or in uh into being you know sexual with you or your work maybe you're even worried about like pushing things a bit too far like we talked about with the metoo stuff so other guys can get
parano about that can all that can can start to hinder your ability to relax and be present and be in the moment because the erection is like we talked about before a relaxation response you need to be relaxed and the ideal State the ideal ideal mental state for a man the bedroom is actually one of calm arousal It's a combination of those two like he's he's excited but he's not it's not too excited we're to the point where he doesn't have control and he's gonna he's gonna you know blow his load very quickly and he's
not too excited to the point where he's actually nervous about his performance either it's a calm confident arousal it's the ideal male State of Mind to go into sexualist because then he can last as long as he wants he can enjoy himself he can you know maybe he could he's calm enough to maintain a strong erection and everyone's you know she's having a great time he's having a great time everyone's happy right so how do you achieve that mental state uh a large part of that is taking the pressure off of yourself I think guys
will come into the bedroom from a kind of performative uh frame of mind like they need to perform they need to impress her they need to deliver to feel like a man you know to feel like they've given her a good experience but if you put too much of that pressure on yourself then it does the complete offset it causes you to fail in the first place taking all of that in actually being a little bit selfish as a guy and actually enjoying looking out getting your own first like is it trying to do things
this is obviously if you don't have a problem with that with premature ejaculation this is why these two you gotta can't talk about them all at one uh encompassing idea because if you get a bit too selfish then obviously you're probably gonna have the same problem we talked about before you get a bus too quickly right but if you're not selfish enough then you're not paying attention to your own body your own needs and you're not going to be uh in that calm state of arousal yeah we're we're able I love that man because I
I mean for a while I talk a lot about the nervous system and one of the things that I've talked about in the past is how you have to be in a in a parasympathetic dominant state in order to even get an erection as a man and so one of the things that we don't I mean yeah your autonomic nervous system has the sympathetic and the parasympathetic and most of us just spend the day in a stressed out overtaxed state in our sympathetic nervous system and then we you know have the opportunity whatever that is
to have sex and then you know guys are like well how come I can't you know I'm struggling with performance anxiety or this or that it's like well you're you're entering into that situation already taxed already stressed out and what I see happening with a lot of guys is they can't get out of that stress State and and conversely they've actually been using unintentionally pornography as a means to get out of that stress state right because you use porn and I think I I read in the in the PornHub data it was like the average
watch time was like nine minutes and 50 seconds or something like that I was gonna make a comment on my my porn watching usage back in my 20s which was definitely not that it was like but it was like a couple hours which was also not healthy um but I think you know a lot of guys are using porn as a means to like down regulate to just feel more chill feel more relaxed and so when they're entering into into sex they're having problems getting out of that stress State and into that relaxed State because
they've been using getting off as a tool to just down regulate you know as a tool to de-stress [Music] thank you
