Friday Night Greg #85 | Why Are You Famous? | Rafi Bastos

Gregory [Music] [Applause] [Music] hello all right welcome to Friday night Greg Friday energy on a Wednesday morning we got a great guest today I'm very excited we will bring him in and he's not here yet when he gets here then you'll know but I wanted to get through some business first I want to talk a Little bit with my boy Maxie hey how's it going um how you doing Max I'm great how are you how's the lady the lady's good yeah what you do anything new sexually no no nothing new sexually oh all right well

you know get in there yeah I will anything you want to do that you haven't done yet no I'm not that adventurous you know I'm uh it's just what are you doing just standard standard standard moves there's Two people looking at each other standing up oh never looking at each other oh what dude you gotta do the no blink sex yeah you ever do that no but I had um I recorded a podcast years ago for a trump supporting Rabbi yeah of course and uh he was once like uh he said something about how he

was like I'm gonna tell you a secret a Jewish secret and it was basically just how you should look your partner in the eyes when you have sex I was like I don't think that's A Jewish secret or a secret I think that's just I think that's nothing no it is a thing he's onto something yeah it's called the no blink sex yeah what I do is you stand in front of her she stands in front of you you no one's allowed to sit no one's allowed to bend over complete like like like an 11

right the number 11. yeah stare each other in the eyes not allowed to look at her vagina she's not allowed to look at your dick and then you try to get it in without Breaking eye contact that sounds cool yeah it's very fun yeah you gotta poke around She's Gotta poke around and you can't use your hands oh no hands it's you're an 11 you're not a t yeah that's true it's not soccer if you become a talker yeah no soccer rules man yeah all right so you try that uh and then you just come

however you can yeah if you just got yeah so you're gonna do that for me I will you got to say Um do we use your girlfriend's real name oh yeah yeah Rebecca yeah say Rebecca uh Greg wrote this note that he's going to fire me from the podcast unless we do the note the no I sex no I sex 11. oh no blank it's called the 11. yeah the eleven the no blink six yeah um that's good yeah how long you guys together now uh just over two years oh gross yeah I know I

know um do you love her Yeah did you say like that yeah I do and when you say ask me if I love my wife you love your wife yes now let me ask you again do you love your you love your lady yes no ask me do you love your wife yes you must be authoritative yeah see again not well I'm not authoritative with anything why not I don't know gotta be man yeah pull your dick out yeah not now that's Authoritative yeah it shows Authority yeah how do you think Bill Clinton got in

office that's true he did do that a lot he showed his dick to people yeah I like let me tell you this man this is the rule I've been saying for years how many pubes you got that's how much of a man you are if I do a job interview someone shows up the interview I go remember how I interviewed you what was the first thing in my mouth how many pubes you got 106. yeah a thousand no pubes not a man yeah show me your pubes yeah how many pubes you got me like just

42. you just know you know you don't tell me a number you show me don't show me because I don't want to be you know I don't want to be the weaker man here this is for everyone whenever you're in a job interview and that guy tried to interview you hey why are you here for the job you oh why am I here the job how many pubes you got flipping on him is he A man men have pubes long pubes what are you looking at over there I feel like you're poking around yeah I'm

I'm doing board stuff what are you boarding I'm boarding just getting just getting I'm just wearing on the levels it's a little hot am I a little hot a little hot that's good now all right so something I do want to talk about this is for everybody my special is coming out very soon oh that's exciting I finished all of my I finished all of my editing I'm just waiting on them nice the good news is it's very good that's good that's a bad there's some bad news uh I really want to get this thing

I really want to release this thing on 911. yeah but I don't think it's gonna be done in time healing you'll be done in time for nine I guess that is coming up yeah do you think that you think people will be offended if I'm like 911 is back Greg Stone special I wanna that's the hook 911 is back we're taking back the day yeah you know forget don't forget the special drops it used to be sad yeah now it's happy yeah 911 is back yes special's dropping something's dropping on 911. it's not buildings nah

they already fell [Laughter] I think this is a big hook yeah uh I think the other thing is you uh You released it on 911 and then when people are like why would you do that like I Had no idea like oh and then you like play it off I mean well you know you know what else came out on 911 right like no uh the blueprint Jay-Z's album of course I knew that 2001 911. that's the only thing 9 11. yeah that's that's the thing to remember from that day I just I I love

the idea of being like with people like whoa you know something happened on that day and I go yeah the blueprint yeah and they're like what else you know Something else and I go I don't know what you're talking about yeah I've never heard of it I'm from New Jersey I would know about this yeah yeah um so I'm excited about it I don't know if it's funny though it was funny it was funny in person you were there yeah I remember you were there yeah you're my [ __ ] boy yeah I would love

to fire you but I can't because I love you too much yeah that's that's my uh that's my Trick I know you could be able to like you yeah that's a terrible thing um that's pretty fun yeah that's what else is going on I'm also thinking about um did I tell you I got an application in for what well uh top come yeah it's like Top Gun yeah it's the only the elite sexual men oh yeah they contacted me and they didn't want to they didn't want me they were like the guy calls me he

goes it pains me to do this but you're out of here they want You at top come the rules of top come guess what they are uh don't talk about come Club no that's that's that's come Club that's different it's a whole other thing top come is the elites yeah come Club is just people who were like really in to come and they swap come and they're like uh they're more into come and they are sex yeah top comb is you just have to like come while flying a fighter jet what while flying a Fighter

jet no top come is the top sexual men okay in the industry yes rule number one you cannot have a sexual orientation you must be open to everything cool so what they do with Top Gun come is they do the most advanced sexual moves things no one's willing to try now what they asked me to do and I don't know you tell me how you feel about this because this isn't a thing I'm married so I have to run this by my wife I'm like I'm out of the top come Game yeah but he calls

me and he was like you know he goes uh do you know Jada Williams and I was like yeah Jada Williams she was uh born on uh she was born on New Year's at the stroke of midnight that says well you know happy people are born like the first baby ever born yeah she was the first baby ever born literally at the stroke of midnight turns out she's turning 18 this year top come wants me To have sex with this woman yeah I'm sorry he's a boy it's a boy okay but I never see uh

gender uh they want me to [ __ ] this guy yeah the minute he turns 18. because this is me the newest Advanced sexual move but I don't know that I can I can do that I gotta turn a guy gay yeah I gotta do you know he's not gay he's so far everything I read is it's so far it says straight or undetermined okay um It's very young I don't really like that but they're like it's fine because this is you know it's legal they want me to be coming at midnight oh okay yeah

and I don't think I'm into this well that means you need to come in the first minute or well but I also need to be inserting within the first minute I also need to be I can't hit on a guy who's 17. no so I have to see this is how insane this move is I have to meet him at 12. yeah and before 1201 seal the Whole deal yeah and finish and finish yeah because if you uh if you even talk to him at uh 11 59 you're a groomer you're a groomer yeah and

if I come at 1201 it was all for nothing cheated on my wife and had sex with someone way too young yeah so I'm thinking about passing but man topcom is very you know it's intriguing to be among the elites it's it's hard to resist I mean it's uh you know that's how they get you I know I'm gonna be Included I know also it's just like I'm not gay I don't want young people yeah that's an issue there's a whole there's so many things that you you know that I just don't sync up for

me yeah well sometimes you need to you need to make sacrifices but my name on that placard would be nice yeah that's your name on anything is good that's the thing maybe I should just get myself a placard at a trophy store yeah no I mean if that's anything we learned From Trump is that uh it feels good to have your name on things that was like his whole thing what's he got his name on the buildings is he in Top Gun and you Google it yeah I'll Google is Trump and top comp I want

the Top com hat uh yeah what's it say uh the first thing is was Trump really a top student at Wharton right so I don't think he's in top come no I don't think so what's Wharton is That a sexual school that was uh that's the business school at UPenn oh and I think he went there for undergrad but I think he didn't really do the business school so I think everything's kind of a lie let me have an honest to God conversation with you yeah no bits yeah answer these straight yeah would you ever

jerk a guy off I don't think so okay great great place to land now let me let's let's up it yes Right would you what would you rather jerk a guy off or get jerked off I mean by a guy by a guy um I think probably I'd rather get jerked off by a guy right because really because then you can at least like close your eyes and be like no this is a woman but you can't pretend you can't pretend you're you're stroking a woman off I see this absolutely differently okay if I'm getting

jerked off that's like ah I feel weird oh my God this guy's doing its all his work if I'm jerking a guy off at least I'm given pleasure at least I'm like I'm a comedian you know what I mean yeah I liked I'd like to I think I could jerk a guy off just because it's gonna make him happy if some guy came up to me and was like hey man I had a hard week you just jerk me off I'm a giver yeah let me ask you this yes you turns out and my I

gotta shoot the Shout out to my boy Mike it's me and my friend Michael told me this last night Dr Mike doctor turns out you have a magical hand okay and you Jer anytime you jerk only a man off yeah they will have the best world-changing orgasm in their life what do you do does it work on me ah yes it does work on you you can have that I'll give it to you Um I would hoard it or I would or do you know what I would I would um I don't know I might

just word it I might be selfish you're not gonna you're not gonna give out your gift God gave you a gift yeah like the best the best hand job Giver you're the you're gonna make p I'll say this man you could go to hospice yes and you could just jerk off all these people in hospice yeah make all of them have the Best pleasure of their life I'll do it for people in hospice that's why that's why you're still a producer here because you're a good man yeah in hospice that's different I have this yeah

for every 10 guys you jerk off yeah you can make a woman come the best she's ever come in her life you get one for every ten okay do you do ten this is gonna be a great thing for your girlfriend Caitlin yeah Rebecca I'm just kidding I just got a bit I don't want her to hear this and get upset she doesn't listen to my podcast no no and I've I've I've told her I've told her that I was like look we're in a rough patch really the only thing that can save this relationship

is for you to listen to Friday night Greg did you still want him she won't do it well that's not very nice no am I is the podcast not that good no she she likes it a lot but she's it's It's just about defying me defying you yeah this is why I gotta show your pubes yeah she was like I like the podcast but because you're telling me to listen I just won't I was like this is insane we'll tell her don't to listen oh you got me you got it I think tell her don't

listen to this episode we talked about you and you'd be very upset now back to the question yes what was the question you can jerk off ten tender one yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna re-ask all These questions to our guests when he gets here I think you get 10 guys you jerk off yes then one you you can make a woman come the best she's ever come her life see a jerk on the 10 guys uh question yes can they be uh trans women who sell their dicks three three of them I'll give you three

and then I'll do it Is it a thing for is that a big deal you think you'd is it easier for you to jerk a guy off if they're if they're trans women with dicks I think it would be easier mentally if you looked up and you're just like you saw like long hair and tits you know stop thinking about it men and women and start I think I'm not thinking about it think about it as you're doing something nice for someone else that's why you Jerk guys off yes you don't do it for your

own sexual pleasure I never have sex for my own pleasure it's always their pleasure yeah I could be jerking off so many guys just making people happy yeah but my only issue is that the guys who would take this are creeps yes you know they'd be all like yeah they wouldn't be like yes this is fun thank you Greg for your service yeah they would not no one would say that yeah no one would say that no they'd be they'd Be they'd be the weirdos I think all right what about this okay for every three

men you have full intercourse with okay you can have sex with one person of your choosing on the planet Earth and they're fully it's all consensual they're fully into it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah um and uh well here's here's the question of this and I'll I'll ask you If you have to do this would you with the guy again the same thing it's like would you rather be doing the [ __ ] or getting [ __ ] well you know me I'll do anything for anything yeah would I rather get [ __ ] or

do the [ __ ] well it depends on the penis size I don't want to get hurt yeah that's my thing I think any size would hurt yeah I would rather I'm a small guy I'd get destroyed by the tiniest deck I can promise no we Will Lube you up okay we can promise no significant pain yeah I don't really know how much anal sex works with men I'd have to do research I'd have to call friends yeah uh who aren't whatever but you know we can make some calls yeah it's not like paint it's

not like you're not in like full-on pain yeah you know or you can just have sex with them yeah do you do it for every three guys and you can choose the guys yeah I don't know why I made it better Easier yeah all right what three guys um I don't know I mean I don't think famous people I think I would just go through a catalog and be like this guy this guy like a haircut catalog like a haircut catalog and again it would be like who's who's the most feminine who's the most feminine

you don't want to just try a man's man real quick I don't think so I don't like Harry yeah I don't like Harry um even on women especially on women yeah it's like I don't like hair across the board yeah yeah no no it would be yeah all right so what three got what kind of guy you going for probably probably you know hairless guys that are like my size hairless guys like you okay like a mouse man yeah like Mouse man all right yeah okay all right well yeah let's get which Ones yeah oh

three men yeah off the bat hems all three times worth Brothers all the Hemsworth brothers uh I'm gonna do this start with a guy who was in Westworld I'll do the the top two Hemsworth brothers yeah not so not Westworld guy I don't know the Westworld guy uh crit I go Chris yeah I go Haim what's the other one's name Henry I don't know the one who is the I go Chris Hemsworth [ __ ] it I'll take One Hemsworth well there's okay so there's Chris Chris is the main one uh and then uh Liam

Liam no no I'm out I'm out on Hemsworth just Chris I want to throw variation give me Tom Holland I met him in real life he's a little guy yeah he's a little cute guy yeah that'd be cute I like to hang out you know maybe we do a little kissing little little I think Chris Hemsworth I think that he's a little bit of a Meek now he's not Meek you know I like he's a Little nerdy little guy he's handsome yeah he seems very cool I go with Spider-Man a little young for me but

whatever man it's all fantasy in in this fantasy I'm also Young all right those two Chris both oh both Avengers by the way that's fun yeah uh then I want a wild card yeah I want to do something that I wouldn't expect so I either go fat or old I go old I go uh Morgan Freeman cool that's a good third one Morgan sex with Morgan Freeman yeah That'd be fun yeah he'd narrate the whole thing well there's your penis Gregory that's not how he talks no what are you gonna do those are my three

those are good three and then you can have sex with any woman what woman any woman oh man um it was uh what did I just say I just saw barbie Margot Robbie is pretty pretty up there it's pretty hard to deny Margot Robbie yeah she is so attractive and such a great actor yeah it's wild she uh how beautiful and great actor she is in an interview she said that she uh has no problem with people being into her feet and that she thinks it's even a little sweet so she's got that going for

her are you in defeat I'm not in defeat but um I don't think that's that weird no just doesn't do anything for me it Doesn't do anything for me I kind of might I kind of don't even want some people are like really want to like suck on feet I don't even want someone's foot to really touch me I don't you know I don't really be touched by a foot oh yeah I don't mind I like sucking on someone's foot to me is like sucking on their knee man It's gotta be clean but I don't

really care no one's ever asked me to suck on their foot no I've never had that ask of me either yeah I think That's usually something people don't ask I think that's usually you ask to do it that's like you asked a second someone's foot I think that's how it's like Tarantino you know right into sucking feet so women don't really like when you suck on their feet I'm sure they're fine with that but I don't think it would be their go-to I hate do this I don't want to suck on someone's feet I don't

either um Margot Robbie's a good pick yeah I Think I would go with one you know what man if I'm being honest man everyone's always like go with the famous people I think I would go with some porn girl who's just a little dirty you know I like them thick yeah and just gonna be a good time you know why waste your time on some like actress who's gonna be like ah don't don't make eye contact give me some [ __ ] animal yeah you know what I mean and I know some animals we have

Lisa Ann Nasty tool I'm not that she's too old now she's very inner hated in her Heyday she still wasn't my thing but she's very pretty yeah um she was Sarah Palin who oh you know who's super cute um the girl on the bear I like her oh yeah Jenny slate uh Jenny slate on the bear that's not Jenny slate she's was on SNL she's a blonde Elliot her last name is Elliot Maybe oh Abby Elliot I think Abby Elliott yeah Abby Elliot's cute I like a good Abby yeah yeah all right so I guess

that's my my pick oh I didn't pick my pick just some uh in so some only fans Lady yeah just just any one of them yeah some Dominican only fans Lady yeah that's a good one who loves it yeah who's willing to do wild things would you rather have sex in a hot tub Or sex in the middle of the street I think the hot tub all right I'm trying to gauge where you're at yeah um hot tub was not definitely a high choice but if it's between that and the middle of the street middle

of the street but you don't get in trouble and you will have an erection no matter what just would I or it's over a hot tub no I'm just saying that these are the caveats you don't have to worry about not getting an erection and you will not Be arrested is everyone around just ignoring or like cheering me on it's classic New York so their reactions are their reactions mostly ignoring ignoring but some people are going why some people go only in New York people are standing around saying that yeah every 30 seconds it's me

mostly it's me walking by and I'm the one who made you do this like hey everybody only in New York Yeah I'll do that um should we real quick yeah I've done like uh we've been recording for like 20 minutes I know we got to uh let's land the let's bring in our guest this is editing so we have to say that even though we're technically he's not here yet yeah all right let me do let me just say one more thing and this might not be a good one it might also be transphobic I

don't Know would you rather have sex with a woman and find out she's a man or a man and find out she's a woman not trans It's Magic it's not trans it's magic you've been uh hypnotized by Doctor Strange who's really into some really shitty magic these days yeah he's gone he's gone off the rails he's drinking Doctor Strange makes you Think you're having sex with Margot Robbie and then as soon as it's done you find out it was uh Mojo or the blob or you don't know either of those people I mean if I'm

hypnotized to that extent It's Magic yeah if it's magic then I want to think that I'm having sex with Margot Robbie but the person you have sex with isn't in love with you that's fine I can I can I can detach and just be like and just ignore so so here's the thing right You think you're having sex with Margot Robbie yeah and then you find out that it's actually Morgan Freeman but then Morgan Freeman is in love with you or you're having sex with Morgan Freeman and then realize it's actually Margot Robbie who's that

in love with you rafi's here hey come on in we were doing an intro That was supposed to be five minutes and we ended up doing 30 minutes we're gonna pause and get to our guest We're excited bye be we'll be back in half a second hey we're here we're starting they already know we started we already did the intro but I'm so excited here uh we are bringing in you guys know that I have to do this podcast I could bring in anybody in the world yes but I only bring in people I love

and this guy so you love me no yeah that's amazing no I'm serious you're someone when I see them I always feel better I'm so excited to talk to you I Love I love when you're around me too yeah you're a guy that I see and I'm like oh I'm glad Greg is here yes Ah that's good oh 100 was that not clear no you was but I don't know how this I fawn over you I do I know I don't know how it works here everybody I feel like everybody is uh at least here

you know comedy scene kind of friendly yeah but it also has to be because everyone's a fraud But there's like a superficial friendliness okay but then there's real friendliness I didn't mean to cut you off but that's you know there's [ __ ] and then there's real [ __ ] can you see the difference yes can you absolutely what is uh fake friendly move hey love your podcast but when they're looking at you they're not getting their eyes looking like this like their eyes are a little across like hey so happy to see you and

then they see the waiters Like hey so happy to see you hey and nothing ever feels genuine they're not like dude how the [ __ ] are you doing man and they're not really listening they're just giving you the it's like a soundboard how are you but one day I said to you oh I love the podcast and you're like oh yeah what did you watch and I told you exactly what I watched yeah which was your story at The Comedy Store the day you perform in the comedy story you were nervous oh and they

gave You like five minutes yeah and I watched the whole thing just you in the microphone and then you're like yeah you watched it yeah yeah I mean usually when people say and people I trust say I love your podcast they're like oh I know you have a podcast and I love you and I saw a clip and I laughed for a second okay um and then if people go like I love your podcast I listen every episode and they're a comedian I'm like oh that's weird I don't know you know more about Me now

than I know about you I like when fans do it okay and I like with people who are like like real not comedy friends do it like I have friends who will listen to my podcast I've known from high school and that makes me happy because it's like whatever but when a comedian comes up to me they're like I listen to every episode do you think those people from your high school are more close friends than the comedy friends yeah so I have two Because they know you for longer two or three friends who I've

known since high school okay that we still talk two or three times a week we all go on like like they're close close friends and they listen to my podcast and the only thing that's bad about it is that sometimes I'll repeat stories and they're like yeah I know I heard it oh yeah and I'm like [ __ ] I don't know what else to talk about now I used to have a podcast in Brazil and I would Repeat the same stories too much yeah it's okay they don't know they kind of do yeah you're

probably right you're not gonna just say it because they want to hurt your feelings but they're like I've heard this [ __ ] before yeah ah yeah all right so okay I got a thing okay so I just want to explain how I met you first of all I didn't realize where I met you I met you do you know where we met first we met on the diner 2018 Chris Milhouse introduced us no no okay I might be [ __ ] this up okay okay you're probably better at date than I am we met

at Montreal Just for Laughs you were on the uh diversity show with Anthony DeVito we met before you don't remember that was before that Milhouse was before that yeah I'm not good with dates because I remember that but I just figured this was before it was before uh I think so I think it was Before really yeah but yeah I did the ethnic show yeah which is kind of crazy because there's this show in Montreal called the ethnic show which we a new thing okay people from all over the world are gonna be there yeah

Anthony DeVito was the Italian guy when he saw the Italian flag he was like am I I didn't know that he's from New Jersey it doesn't count just because of the last name is enough For you to be ethnic it's so crazy because I'm as ethnic as he is but they would never put me on that show because you're a stone well because my skin color looks this again also yeah they look at Anthony and they go that's an olive skin boy that's an Italian and I go I'm still Italian also he um there it

goes right out the window no whatever I was thinking so you're you feel you're more Italian Than Anthony I am the exact same amount of Italian we're from the same town okay we went to the same high school oh so you guys were a high school buddy yes he's also buddies with those guys I was talking about oh so yeah we're all really close so that's why they watch there's two buddies yes yeah of course they have yeah and they're just supportive and they're sweet they like to laugh um so yeah that was the ethnic

show also Wait sorry that's what it was he's all we're also in they're saying he's from another country Italy but he's also from another country America USA that's in Canada so they're just denying all of the USA and being like Italian American everybody in the whole festival is ethnic if you think about it everyone everybody oh goddamn thing yeah all right I gotta get into this because I don't want to blow my load okay uh all Right uh so what I always thought was amazing is that I met you with uh met you at wherever

a diner or JFL okay I was like I love this guy we've had a really good friendship I see you we talk I do not know your origin story one day I was on Instagram live and if you remember you signed on and then all of a sudden 20 000 people were on this thing and I went what the [ __ ] is this and then I'm like ah you know whatever and Then we were doing a show at fat black and there was a dude in the crowd you went on and he was like

he was he was acting like you were the king of Zamunda he was like oh he started like kneeling on the ground and I went who the [ __ ] is Rafi now I don't want you to tell me exactly like I want there's something with you I don't want to know I want to bring you to my yes I don't know who you I don't know your origin story okay good Good that's good and so I got a couple questions I'm gonna try to guess the guitar guy yes yes very tall man I am

a tall man yes for three points is Rafi bustios Pasto sorry okay is Rafi bastos famous basketball player are you in the NBA were you in the NBA okay another another yes guess another thing let me tell me the three oh that was like about 16 of these oh they're 60 okay okay you want to hold off you don't have to okay Sure I play basketball until I was 24 25 years old play pro a little bit but that's not why I was famous okay it's Pro I'm sorry bro uh is it millions of dollars

no no no no okay because it's a pro NBA like over here I wasn't I wasn't good enough to make good money okay I played a little bit I was never famous because of basketball okay not famous because of basketball no famous because all right oh you're trying to guess my where I'm this is very fun yeah fun it's Fun it's different have you been to jail almost almost yeah a few times actually what okay I'm gonna should we hold off on this hold off hold off yeah I want to answer yeah and then we

come back and then we analyze things this is very fun okay good yeah were you a talk show host I was you're a talk shower is that why you're famous is it the talk show uh there's a long story that took me to the talk show but I built a store in Brazil and at the end I Would say I had a talk show yeah almost been to jail but build story were you with some kind of drug dealer no I wish all right no the whole Fame uh-huh is because of TV TV yeah okay

so we're getting closer so talk show it's I had a talk show right but I that's how I got you there no you didn't they didn't give you a talk show and then you blew up you got the talk show because you were already there yes all right so yeah was TV the thing yes That blew you up yes were you on like a H you're so tall a real reality TV no no never I could never do it actor I could never do it because one day I went to those houses yeah that they

have cameras around I went to do some kind of uh stand up okay just for those people who are living in that house and then when I left the house there was a friend of my working in production and he said to me do never do a show like this I was like why look at this and Then he showed me pictures of me in the bathroom cleaning my dick on the toilet he just showed you your your own self yeah I was like [ __ ] like like just lost looking at my dick in

front of the mirror and wiping my ass like in the middle of the [ __ ] like putting it I did yeah I could never do it because 15 minutes later I was so worried about the cameras 15 minutes and I was just like with my dick out in the middle of the house so I could never do it I could Never but the thing is Stevie okay two thousand uh 1999 I came to America to play basketball okay I had a scholarship to play basketball in Nebraska okay okay in the small school in Nebraska

sure division two school I wasn't good enough I don't know what that means division two is that it's pretty good Vision one is the best division one is is the best okay Vision one leads you to the NBA okay I Was division two which is good enough sure to have a scholarship and to have an experience not enough to be Pro in America okay played on division two school here and then I saw stand up on TV those Comedy Central presents okay uh uh Louis CK Ted Alexandro and uh Ted was one of my favorites

of all time still I still think he's amazing yeah I hope he watches this because I he won't he's Amazing we can tell him so tell him tell him that we're safe I think he's great uh Brian Regan oh these are the best specials man Jim Gaffigan yes Jim Jim is the best oh Jim is amazing so I watched those and I was like this is so good because you know it's you comedy but also they are themselves on stage I know it's common for you guys because you have been doing this for I don't

know 60 years maybe even more but the comedy that we Used to have and we still have in Brazil not only in Brazil but in like in Latin countries either one like and the guy has a a wig you know and a puppet then some girls tits around yes I watch a lot of space yeah always did a lot of characters impersonating like politicians and very noisy and songs there's always I would kill in Brazil uh I would kill yeah I don't know if you do characters but you you could do well So then uh

I saw those guys being themselves hi my name is Jim Gaffigan and this is what I think about yeah life yeah that's so interesting because I am I was I was graduated in journalism already graduated in journalism because when I went to play basketball here I was already graduated in college in Brazil I lied about my transcripts it's another story but basically if I if I told if I have told them that I was Already graduated I wouldn't have a chance to play basketball so I gave them my transcripts and I played dumb for a

few years I had to work I live in a third world country and but I was already graduating journalism that's hilarious but then I was I I went back to Brazil after uh College here and I was like this is amazing because I want to do comedy I have been doing I'm having writing comedy for a while And uh and I'm not I don't have this Talent of the wig and I'm more like a lot of talent It's A Wig yeah you just didn't you just gotta get a wig so when I went back to

Brazil I was like this is what I want to do I wanna try this thing called stand up so I moved from my series to live in a small City I went to is this boring you tell me if it's Warriors like that's party's body and then I jump into this don't ever question it okay I'm in the zone I'm Sorry okay I'm loving it perfect so I went I moved from my small City that I used to live called Porto Alegre it was like a million people but then I moved to Sao Paulo the

big city 15 million people the whole world is in Sao Paulo I moved there and I was like I want to do this thing called Stand Up nobody knew because there was no stand up in Brazil so I met a few people like four or five people that knew what stand-up was because that was before YouTube it was 2004 okay and I was like I want to do this thing and a few people know what I was talking about and we started doing stand-up but there was no referee we couldn't watch stand up there was

no way to watch stand them the only reference that we had of stand up at that time was the opening of Seinfeld sure every sign for the episode and then was like a little stand up in the beginning so I remember the first Video they were like promoting said it was like have you ever guys watched Seinfeld and oh you you know the internet no internet just [ __ ] VHS tapes of old comedy specials I had those I had I had those on tape oh nice but go ahead so all of the sudden there

was a CD I don't maybe you guys are not that old but a long time ago you you were not watching DVDs you had a CD with like people know what CDs are yeah cities Like this but like this but that but but instead of just putting the CD and you you see the video it had like AVI files with videos yes so there was like a list of AVI files and we would watch so there was like 12 Comedy Central presents and we would watch those to get reference to try to understand more about

the art form we started to Instagram in 2003 2004. and when YouTube started Then people are like oh look at this guys right right because we had Street jokes yeah yeah that would take five minutes to get to the punchline sure yeah yeah yeah remember Mom does a lot of that kind of stuff too like that kind of like I love it so perfect it's good it's awesome but our jokes that sometimes you get a little bit too old you already heard that joke so what we brought was like one clip on YouTube actually before

YouTube because I had this joke we got viral through email right that I don't know the original yes sending the [ __ ] it's like yo check this video blah blah blah you're gonna see this old school old school viral was through like like the monkey taking [ __ ] off and smelling still the funniest video on the internet still the funniest video on the internet you would send those videos yes through email so South Park got famous through VHS tapes everyone just passed around the first episode of [ __ ] South Park and that

was viral before viral the same way the UFC really oh yeah mixtapes and [ __ ] people would send each other like those VHS tape with me would you have seen they got famous so but then YouTube popped up yeah and now there was a place for us to upload those little Clips right but if you think about it people would wait four minutes For the punch line and we and I in a in a one minute and 15 seconds would have seven punch lines oh okay so you weren't doing that you were I wasn't

doing Street jokes yes you're doing a real estate because we were doing like a small bar or something but then we upload a few of those clips there was like five or six clips they got really really big in Brazil and people started to show up in the in the bar to watch us so all of a sudden we had like 150 People watching us every every Saturday wow so it became something but it wasn't popular right you know because you know TV was the thing you need TV right so then someone watched me they're

like I like this guy right well it's never happened to me no it never happened no one is ever watched me when I like this guy no it never happened they always just go yeah who's next Who's the this guy's great filler this Is the appetizer yeah that's what they call me the appetizer so you get liked the guy likes you someone like me and they're like brought me intermediate what do you want to brought you a wig they didn't they didn't have they liked the fact that I wasn't wearing a wig yeah they pulled

my hair no wigs yeah like I like this guy yeah so they're like what do you want to do on TV huh and I was like I want to do Comedy and journalism that's what I wanted oh okay that would be uh I wanna I wonder are we talking like a Jon Stewart type thing uh I don't think I don't know I I didn't know John Stewart I'm not saying you're I think the reference no no I think the reference was more like we can update okay kind of thing all right that's what I wanted

to do like have this like like a like a uh uh TV news with like jokes Right Stuff so I did a pilot and they liked it but I Was like yeah there's no space for this but we like you so then was there was an Argentinian format that went to Brazil called CQC okay it was called uh like I don't know I don't know how to translate it doesn't matter yeah but it was a mix between uh The Daily Show and The View okay stories on the streets when a panel of like three guys

discussing those stories and stuff So that show was really like like was something that nobody have ever seen because that's not the comedy that we that we used to have here right so that show became really popular in a small Network and I started to tour the country in Argentina no no the format was from Argentina so they had that format in life okay Israel is so stupid it's the same language in Argentina no it's uh they they speak uh Spanish we speak Portuguese ah okay we don't speak Spanish okay I gotcha slow yeah yeah

Spanish I kind of I can't understand what you're right right but it's not the same like I got you it's a completely different thing so this show blows up the show was a huge a huge success and what years is this was two thousand it started I think it's 2007. okay so 2007 huge huge traveling making money all right ah jail yet not jail okay sexual allegations yet uh I didn't ask You about that but not not sexual allegations yet not yet not yet olive tree [ __ ] those old people yeah so I started

doing the show I was the the controversial guy okay the guy who does the the hardcore jokes right that was the clown the host and I was the one with jokes edgy or just like uh topical edgy and topic okay you know About the news about about the stories and everything else people really like me sure I love you yeah it's pretty easy but yeah it was a little different on the show I was the [ __ ] okay okay not the [ __ ] people like me about that boy yeah what's the best you

wear a leather jacket no I didn't it was all suits yeah no you should wear another we look like we look like like [ __ ] suits also I don't know uh [ __ ] Reservoir Dogs yes that was a bad boy let me show you how we would uh wear I don't know if you can show this can we show that I don't know who cares this is uh this this was us oh like Mobsters yeah no this is like Reservoir Dogs okay this is like uh yeah yeah like uh you could probably show

the camera yeah you cannot say this camera sucks no one has to do more investment here Don't the close-up yeah okay so then for years this show was a huge hit and I started doing uh journalism show at the same time so more like a vice China thing me experiencing different lives of uh dominatrix like whipping my ass and I was leaving different experiences so I was huge yeah huge huge huge and then something I feel like a ball is coming Yes oh what happened well allegation time just kidding the show got too big I

was too big right and with great great power yes come great responsibility yeah and I couldn't care less about the responsibilities okay I was like I'm this guy [ __ ] it this is how my big ego know what because you don't have a big ego uh you never come across those no uh I'm 46 now sure no I don't have a big ego enough to be an [ __ ] but I want stuff you believe in yourself I believe oh I think I'm the best one right I believe in myself to the point of

that's look what I'm doing it's a hard thing I mean whatever I've battled with this I have half of my brain is you are the greatest comedian who ever lived okay and the other path is you've never been good nothing is ever good you've wasted your time because that other part of your brain is Crazy so it's a constant you get any day of the week every day is different okay like there's part of me that goes when I'm on stage and I'm killing like I'm the best anytime I'm on stage even when I'm bombing

on stage I'm like I'm the [ __ ] Best But as soon as I get off and I look at my bank account and I look at the because the thing that scares me is I don't know reality I'm sorry to just take this off because no No I don't I'm always afraid of Fight Club so let me tell you real quick let me quick aside please 2004 I'm doing comedy with this comic this guy who goes on stage bombs his ass off worst thing I've ever seen he's horrible looks at me and goes follow

that he was so believed that he was amazing that I went if he thinks he's amazing how do I know that I am I could be this could be Fight Club I could have Tyler Durden it builted me this [ __ ] Fear that's like holy [ __ ] I don't know what I am so I I look at the numbers on what I have it's like ah you kind of broke uh you don't really have the credits uh you don't have like people being like this guy's not [ __ ] best all you do

have is you kill on stage you do and I'm I'm proof I'm I'm a witness oh thanks you do um you don't have to you you know I don't know yeah no I know I can do good you can see when people are knocks There's always a guy in my voice that knows how to reverse it I know a lot of really bad Comics who do really well on stage so that I'm very worried that I'm just this medium comedian not good not bad but I'm not special I'm just this appetizer comedian and so when

I'm on stage and I'm killing it I'm like I have a new joke I'm like this is great but there is a guy constantly Larry I call him who goes in my head and goes you're not good enough you've never been good Enough that has a name yeah that this is big I mean I talk about the podcast therapists told me that she was like name him so that you can hear him and you can tell him to shut up do you would you rather be successful with the shitty comedy no okay no I already

did good you had a choice I I would be a shitty comedian very successful or I'm gonna be a good Comedian with not that much success enough for you to survive I can answer that question okay okay I would rather be rich knowing I'm doing the best I can if I'm a shitty comedian but I know I'm working as hard as I can and I really am pushing the envelope to the best I can I'm happy with that okay but if I'm on stage going uh if I can't be one of those guys who walks

up and there's just like the vaccine's not real and I know the vaccine is real you know what I mean We have a lot of friends who are like that we know guys who do [ __ ] like that I can't ever be selling without what I believe but if what I believe just isn't that good or that funny but I'm still rich I would do that okay I'd like right now it makes sense I'm very proud of what I do on stage I'm very proud of who I am as a comedian and I've told

you this before I think but I'm like all I need to do now is just find money and when I look at it that way it's like oh That's okay because I don't care if this is all I ever get comedically Fame wise that's fine all I need to do now is just find money and if you think about that way it's like that's not too hard I just gotta find money but I've been doing comedy since 2001 and I haven't really had that big uh win was that a moment in your in your career

that you made money so yeah so 2018 uh the one thing I ever got one thing I've had a lot of good things Okay but the one thing that changed it for me was I made seven thousand dollars a year in 2017. 2018 I was a writer on the break with Michelle wolf and I was opening for Michelle wolf on the road we wrote with the White House correspondence dinner and I think I made 150 000 a year awesome I went from seven thousand dollars 250. um and then since then it's all been very medium

and fine but um I expected to get like writing jobs After that but everything just [ __ ] it didn't really work out I don't know and it's fine I'm happy I just don't know what I was I don't know what it is I feel like there's this blind spot that I'm not seeing and I wonder if every comedian is just like yeah you [ __ ] suck but you're really nice so we'll never tell you the truth no that's not true that's not true the thing you're not asking for advice or anything I always

want advice you okay you can always tell me this stuff I love it there is uh there is a process that people are following right now that's it's not the the most fun but the whole thing with social media and you know you have to find your way to do it you know but but it's kind of crazy because uh you don't necessarily need to uh uh put your best self there right You know no you have to put your sellable self there you know that my example let me tell you no I'm listening I'm

just Mike said no no no let me tell my example and we're gonna get to where the crash by the way I just want people to know okay we need to get back to the correct no we're gonna we'll be back to the crash soul so I'm I have on on my I have a huge following now from all over the world Okay that I built through my jokes about language are not the ones that I'm most proud of you know because you can get stuck there I mean I told you that before you know

I want to use the ones that hit aren't the ones I'm the most proud of you know I don't want to be the guy who is like oh you say this and we say that I don't want to be that guy I have much better material but I know that that material is not going to perform as good as this One because I think I found my Niche when people go to watch me live they are going to see the good stuff and they're gonna like it but the one that are gonna be viral I

kind of figure out the ones that work for me for my voice yeah so it's not that I think they're well written they're good they fit me they're not the ones that I'm most proud of of course the ones that got viral for you you can be the ones that are not you're You're not most proud of but they are yours right it comes from you it comes from your creativity so so you don't have to be ashamed of it right but I think we analyze too much well I have a theory on this okay

sorry tell me tell them well the thing you're showing on Instagram that's not your comedy that's the trailer that's the trailer to get them to come see the movie here is the short hey look at this hey I think I like this guy yeah yeah Here when I put out these clips it's like what's likable I want someone to go I like this guy okay now come watch my special like you is not enough for them to leave their houses likability I don't think so what is enough to make because I thought that's that's what

I'm banking on you are very likable you are very long to leave their house I think you can find okay I don't know what it is Something that people are gonna see you and think that you're different they're gonna [ __ ] the hook the FI the fact that you are likable they're gonna be with you for the rest of their lives because you are a nice guy they're gonna love you oh they're gonna always gonna love it but what what's the hook what's the hook what's my hook I don't know I don't know Anthony

DeVito he's Italian I don't know Max is [ __ ] my wife that's the hook Something that makes you pricer takes his shirt off yeah so okay okay it's a hook shitty hook but it's a hook yeah you know what is the hook I'll take any Hood only the the shirt he found this it's the party boy party boy you know I know it sucks but if you push a hook call me to look for hooks you're doing comedy to look for jokes but I think you need to have the the a little a little

bit of you do I find the hook or I just build the hook I think you'll build the Hook that's why I gotta get a wig it may be made a way right so let me ask you this though I'm on stage you find the hook you find you find you can build something that you think it's it's you I don't know what it is I'm just theorizing I don't know what I'm talking about no I don't even speak English you're not wrong you're not wrong I mean it's funny I would watch Mark Normandy would

constantly wear the same jacket and I was always like what The hell are you doing and you go oh that becomes the Bart Simpson uniform it becomes part of the thing and it's all and sometimes you don't build the hook but if you just constantly keep adding and not subtracting you know like I shaved it's like I should just look the same all of the time become Coca-Cola everyone sees you enough and I know your hook becomes this thing I don't know what the hook is I know it sucks what I'm what I'm saying I

don't know if I'm A dadcomedy.com oh that's a whole myself that okay that's fine but that's a hook I don't think uh uh I don't know like like shoes it's a controversial guy it's a party guy and everything is like oh I I he found his his and also all people that we are saying right now they're great joke writers they deliver you know you deliver we do it we do it we are doing it right so but what are gonna make people leave their houses to Watch you right and I think you're oh my

gosh I'm this is a coaching session this is horrible this is perfect I enjoy this it's very difficult I'm never gonna find a hook when you are on White American man right because your hook my hook no vaccines are fake no yeah that's a hook hooks they're hooks so my king naturally because I was writing those things at the beginning and so it came like oh people like uh connecting with this things that I'm Talking about language and all of the sudden they are coming here and they're seeing more and I can show more but

they are with me already so that was the hook so that's I think that's what I I mean I would I would pay someone to be like this is how we're gonna Market your social media this is what we like about you this is how we push this this is how we push you this year you know like right now it's like you're a dad you're you're a sweet guy you're all because Right now I believe maybe that's a hook maybe maybe there is or maybe you have maybe you have to make this more clear

I think I have to make clear that I'm a medium not medium but like for me I believe there's right wing and there's left wing comedy in America okay has always been uh you know super liberal okay or maybe conservative I don't I mean or it's been liberal but now it's liberal and it's conservative and I think the true punk Rock edgy is being a guy who goes yeah I think a little bit of them are right a little bit of MRI it's weird that like medium moderate to me is punk rock yeah and that's

what I mean I talked about hook but if I could sell something about myself it would be empathy it would be like hey what the [ __ ] you know like here is a middle of the road very grounded theory that is funny that's what I want to push that's the hook that's the hook That's the hook well that's why most of my jokes usually come most of my jokes always come from love they always come from empathy and understanding other people and they're not hating it so I guess I could push yeah I got

to make a video it's like here he is Mr empathy how about we're both right everyone's got it anyway 2007 your top of the world you're [ __ ] killing it I was doing really well something happens yeah what happens well I was already uh I feel bad that I'm getting myself in the middle of your business now I'm interviewing you yeah yeah this is my Barbara Walters okay okay also it's an interesting it's interesting is is it yeah maturity podcasts it's so funny because people who really want to know listening this right now come

on I wonder if I can hear and I keep assigning us well I just started listening to podcasts more and something I hate is something that I do which is Like the constant jokes cutting off cutting off not finishing okay sometimes I listen to a podcast and I'm like no I want to know what that guy was saying yeah I want to know this story but you know what's crazy interesting everything that we are talking we are talking for 25 minutes with a hook we have a hook we got a hook we have a hook

we got the gun you know they are releasing him because we found the dude it literally starts off I have No that's this is TV yeah I have no idea who you are yes everyone's people listening to this are going something clearly happened at some point he went to jail and we won't give it to them until the end okay no but go ahead so 2007 2000 2007 shows started doing well yeah I was already doing some controversial jokes jokes that people didn't want to do and I was like do you you know you don't

have the guts to do this like rape is good yeah all of those I didn't I got I got it I got involved in a rape joke that was was controversial too I do few jokes started you know bringing me problems you know first I was the guy oh he's such an edgy guy and he kicks the bucket that's what we're saying it means you die in America oh yeah you think the bucket means you're dead if he kicked the bucket you were 85 years old the back of this guy that don't get kick in

the bucket yeah okay it's like I don't care and uh And then 2011 after a few sequence of jokes that are being reported and I couldn't care less I loved also loved the attention I was having fun sure because that was me yeah cocaine and okay no I never did not drugs it's not what that's not my thing then I did a joke uh uh on my TV show on this TV show that this is what happened okay we showed a story that our reporter went On a field and interviewed the singer the Brazilian singer

she was pregnant okay oh yeah she was pregnant she's hot she sings like [ __ ] she's like our I would say all Jennifer Lopez sure things like [ __ ] very hard right sellable big hook yes big hook so when the camera cuts to us my friend asked me oh she's pregnant do you think she is still hot hilarious and I said she's so hot that I would [ __ ] her and Her baby yeah that's a pedo joke that'll get you every time brother it'll get you every time everywhere every time I said

that joke people laughed and then people are like yeah that's not good but I was like yeah let's wait let's see what happens and then her husband was a very powerful figure in Brazil because he used to want a an agency in production company he used to Run Brands and so they start threatening the show of taking Brands out of the TV show so he became like a money kind of thing around me it's money it's money cash yeah exactly so after two weeks they're like we are gonna suspend you for a few weeks and

I was like I don't accept wow if you suspend me I'm leaving the show and the guy was like you are angry right We get it you know what let's talk in three weeks yeah three weeks happened I went back I was like I'm leaving the show bro wow last thing he was like there's the it doesn't make sense people love you yeah just be a little careful and I told them something that I believed and he'd be it turned out to be true if we step back with this joke If you think about it

it's kind of a silly joke everybody laughed yeah yeah it's about a woman that was pregnant she got upset it was more about the the whole husband being mad that bring brought us problem than the controversy itself you know so I told them we cannot be run we are the ones who point fingers at politicians here we I used to go to Congress to make fun of politicians and ask them like tough questions and stuff If we do that now we are going to show the work that we are sellouts and in a few months

we are going to be apologizing for everything all some are maybe not even doing those jokes so I don't want to play the game anymore they're like no no please don't do it like I'm resigning and they're like yeah but you have a contract your contract so I will have to pay like a million oh of my money right a million yeah but that's Brazilian money so it's like 50 American dollars right yeah that's 12. but then I was it was a lot of it a lot of money yeah yeah the the if you're a

lawyer that gets 15 000 in America you get 15 000 of my money but if you do the throne you know so one million it's a lot I know I was opinion no but I completely controversial I don't know agree you that will get you cancer but And then I was like no I pay yeah I'll pay I'll pay the fee yeah you don't you don't have to pay the fee we are gonna wait for the contract to be to run out and then you leave the station of course because they knew that if I

paid the fee I would be free to say whatever I want so they want to keep me so they have they have a little more control of me I'm not gonna be like talking [ __ ] behind their backs I wouldn't do it you know because they were always very very Good to me yeah very nice even when I left there was like a very difficult moment for me like I love you guys but I don't want to play the game anymore you know you're always good to me but I don't want to play this

game so I left the station think about it stand up started in 2004 in Brazil okay so when that happened nobody was defending me right I was a psychopath you know yeah this guy yeah talk about This woman who was pregnant country hates him right now and he doesn't want to be on the show he's leaving the show this guy is insane and there's no Twitter yet right so you can't even defend yourself online that was Twitter yes Twitter was 2011 it was happening I could offend myself but I was like sense so for a

few months maybe like a year I just had fun I was like um so you were in a good place I was in an amazing Place right amazing place because I felt because here's the thing uh Greg I the whole country was talking about this [ __ ] which was kind of crazy this guy he's a comedian he's on TV and the whole country is talking about this maybe it's a little arrogant for me to serve the whole country have much better problems much worse problems but it's on people's minds were talking about it right

right you Know but I was like I became a conversation nobody was defending me because nobody wanted to defend comedy because you guys went through so much [ __ ] here in this country with comedy and trying and talking about freedom of speech and this is a conversation for years we didn't have that conversation right we are starting to have this conversation now wow 12 years after I had the whole issue so that's gonna go back like see [ __ ] yeah I knew that that would happen because I wasn't doing anything wrong yeah I

wasn't cheating on my wife I wasn't killing people I was doing I was not doing drugs or selling drugs or raping kids I was doing that right I wasn't doing anything I was just doing my my job I was doing the jokes that I was already doing it so I felt that you know history is Gonna Save Me yeah after a while they will figure out that you know I'm a good guy I'm you Know people are gonna have much worse problems than I'm having right but I found out that it's kind of crazy you

know there's a game to be played when you become famous everywhere okay it is a game to be played you are part of this machine someone gave you a card it's like you're part of yeah the famous land right but to be in the famous land you need to to you know to be there's some rules about The rules follow the rules online to do some shitty [ __ ] apologize people are gonna love you because you know we are all human right so I decided not to apologize I was like I'm not doing anything

wrong yeah yeah so he was like why don't you [ __ ] why why why I was like you know what because I was the first the first group of stand up comedians I was like me and four guys I think it's important for comedy for Them to know that I'm just a comedian and I if I apologize now I'm not going to be able to do my work can we talk about this problem I'm gonna be stuck I want to get into a point that there's always something that I battle with constantly right okay

so we're talking about apologies in comedy so this is something I believe and I want to get into your I want to get into what you said oh I have things to say about this Um I believe and I said this to someone on stage uh I did a joke I do I would do a lot of pedophilia stuff you know that's kind of my butter you know it's your hook so and since lay was like she was mad he was just mad and she said something I don't want to hear that and whatever and

I went look you have every right to be offended every right you should be offended but the way I process pain is through jokes when 9 11 happened I Watched it we didn't know what to do and I remember the first time I heard a jerk joke I went oh okay now we can talk about it rape is something I'm scared of rape is something I don't like if you make it light then you can talk about it I believe to me that's the first process now that's not everyone's process but if that's not your

process that's okay but don't take away someone else's process okay so if I have a restaurant and you Don't like mushrooms you shouldn't ask the restaurant to not sell mushrooms they're just not for you that being said I do more jokes that are General I don't go after people specifically okay right so you're doing this joke about a woman specifically and I say this and this is not I'm not saying if I did something a joke about a woman specifically I might say to her if this hurt your feelings that doesn't make me feel good

I don't want to hurt your feelings but I'm never Gonna stop so I don't know where I land on jokes that are too specific people and this is what I wanna okay agree I completely agree with not disagree with you said I don't wanna I don't want to see someone hard right so you know what I did when that whole thing happened before it blew up send them an email all right all right I'm sorry I know your heart but you have to understand just one thing this is my Work I understand that you're not

happy with the joke and if I hurt your family or I'm sorry right but don't make me go public and apologize because this is my work and this is not gonna be good I don't want it's not an apology that's a shaming yeah but that people the guy the woman they were not mad at me because of the joke they were upset with the surroundings sure You know with uh people talking about this and I have no control over it right that's why there's a difference between you hurting that person and uh what is the

name of the tiny guy the the actor Jay DeVito no no the uh the comedian who Johnny was doing the Oscar he didn't do the Oscar Kevin Hart Kevin Hart it's a tiny committee the tiny comedian yeah he is so big That if someone is hurt by his joke oh that's gonna be published everywhere right and some other people are also going to be heard and people are gonna take that joke that he did on stage take out of contest and put in a publication and people are gonna read your joke and if people read

our jokes we are [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah yeah of course you just read you know they don't see you laughing being ironic being sarcastic it's crying to just take a joke and put It on the publication so when you have power you know and being famous is power you have this responsibility to please others and we comedians we don't want to please everybody we have maybe we do want but we are not willing to pay the price of being so likable that you lose your essence right you know you're trying to make

everyone happy you're not being creative you're not going to be yourself you are Going to be exactly like every other guy it is also if you're trying to make everyone happy and I'm sure we have friends when you're trying to make someone happy you get so worried about making them happy that you don't tell them the truth yes and you end up doing more damage than good of course yeah you know I agree I agree but when you have this Fame you know you're so big that a little thing always blew up out of proportion

and it's a that was my fight My internal fight and I think you had that when you have this conversation with this woman was like do I keep being free and creative or I I I I fight to be huge you're never gonna be huge and free I mean pedophilia is awesome it's a great way to pass a time but right there you write that down okay so Greg just Said pedophilia is a great way to pass the time I do not believe it but it isn't something I hate so you degrade the thing you

hate to make you able to talk about it yes now I love I agree I agree I'm trying to release this special on 9 11. you know people are not enjoy people are not gonna enjoy this trailers being like something's dropping on 911. people aren't gonna like that right and if they came up to me and they go because this Is the thing that bothers me they go the victims and you go but were they hurt were people hurt and if you hear things like that are you hurt or you just feel like you should

be hurt so then you say you're hurt are you I don't I don't think I don't understand about this [ __ ] like oh most of people just say they're her because they wanna show that they want to show this uh feeling that everybody has but I Don't think everybody's no we're not going to be real here and I bet you can relate this because I think we talked about it once before I had a kid and now every movie I watch that has a kid dying oh yeah I can't watch it I don't tell

them not to make those movies yeah but it triggers me and I go like oh I had a woman at the Comedy Cellar during my set I don't remember what it was she got up and she started crying and she left and I saw her and I was like you know the Management was talking to her and I was like oh my God was there something that said she was like I don't even know what the joke was and she was like it's not you I have a thing when I hear this it brings up

stuff and I just wanted to walk out but I'm not she was not complaining what was the subject I have no idea I don't even remember but something hit her and she started crying remarkable that interaction was you don't remember well because I don't even Know because by the time I got off stage she was still outside she was crying to a manager and the manager was like not being they were it was the best interaction I remember his Val and they were just talking and she was like I don't why a refund I'm not

whatever I'm not I'm not saying they shouldn't be doing this I just know I have a thing okay and my thing triggered me and so I just stepped out and she's like just give me some time and I'll go back and Watch the other Comics I remember what it was and I was like she handled that the best way possible she was very mature she was like no I just have a thing like I have a thing about children now where I'm like you say a thing it triggers me but I guess that's the thing

is I guess I mean answering my own question here is I guess it's like yeah but I don't think that you shouldn't like dude stranger things season three or last season opens with like a school Of kids being murdered and I was like I can't watch this I went to the movie to watch it yeah the first scene it for my clown the clown pushes a kid to the dumps of the [ __ ] in the sewer and I left the movie four minutes I left I was like I'm not gonna watch right this clown

killing kids and then I was like no this is a movie about clown the kill kids Everybody knows and I was like well and I read the description yeah right so what is yeah are puppies and kids you can murder an old lady I couldn't care less right don't Point your kid but we sit here and we say like don't [ __ ] every topic is up whatever but on my Instagram page people will just comment you suck [ __ ] you yeah and I'm like [ __ ] you like I hurt my feelings I

mean sometimes it gets it doesn't get me so much anymore if I'm being honest I just Block and I don't care because I am confident with what I am yeah it doesn't hurt me what they said because I don't believe they're right but what hurts me is I go this is society human race is like this that there's just it hurts me that they're so hurt I go there's just people out there who were so [ __ ] hurt that they need to just lash out at people that they like I had a guy leave

a comment just like do you really think that that's empathy That's we had a guy leave a comment that went or something like I remember when you used to be funny it's been a really long time and I went what kind of human being writes that somebody who's hurting every bully you've ever had was hurting yeah and so when you see that I go so when I see them leave these comments I go Jesus Christ all of America is [ __ ] hurting yes and that Makes me sad uh okay okay it makes sense yeah

yeah I understand I have a thick skin for like well you were famous people yeah you have to develop that yeah but but also I think what taught me was uh I did this TV show that I was telling him about the journalism show so I saw I saw too much I saw lives I saw people living in the middle of the garbage I would like I saw so like crime people that lose their kids and they were Crying I saw uh this whole Mountain that just collapsed and killed like you know people like dragging

bodies out of I saw so much that I'm like you know life is amazing right for me to be worried about even about that thing that people are talking [ __ ] about me it's like I'm not gonna worry about this and also when you're sad if that ruins your day be sure that you are gonna ruin other people's days no that's the absolute worst advice no No what I'm saying no I don't think I made myself if you get hurt with that comment if that hurts you you are gonna ruin right people around you

they you know yeah because you're gonna be bad and you're not going to treat well your wife and they're not gonna play with your kid and I felt and when everything was happening I was in the middle of the hurricane that I needed to feel strong because I would drag people down Because I think everybody was worried about me if all of a sudden I am feeling it I'm like my dad there were so many stories of me having a oh he's gonna go to jail right oh he's going to jail because of this because

the lawsuit I had so many different lawsuits right not only because of that joke because a lot of things so every time I lost it you just can't brush over that yeah no no a lot of a lot of a lot of different uh little jokes that I did okay someone got Uh uh it's always and in Brazil can you go to jail for jokes uh well here's the thing you guys have the First Amendment which is like you can say whatever you [ __ ] want yeah but you also cannot be racist you cannot

be homophobic and you can be you won't care for it you won't okay you can't go to jail for being racist I think you can go to jail being racist I think you can go to you can go to jail if you incite Violence okay but if I just walk around screaming racist [ __ ] that's not you can do it no look at every comedian you know yeah they're wildly uh no not every comedian but no no you can I mean I'd have to whatever but no you can you can go to jail if

you do something that causes someone harm but you can be I lost money racist I lost money a lot of money yeah that's a lot of money we lost I lost lawsuits and that made me lose a lot of money and you'd be at the good to Be at court for those two times I went to court a few times yes uh uh and I lost money I had to pay those lawsuits you know that that was the most annoying thing but I found a way to [ __ ] right you know I'm creative so

I made those lawsuits bring me money too so I made fun about the lawsuits and I made a show about the lawsuit so at the end of the day it was all good but I lost a lot Greg I lost a Lot I lost sponsors I lost opportunities I lost I was [ __ ] huge yeah and I the choice that I made because I made the choice of not apologizing of not playing the game I made that choice and I'm comfortable with that choice but I know that I lost a lot lost money I

lost like movies series uh like uh ads no company wants to be attached to me right now time has passed and I have companies that but also like the big like Nestle and McDonald's and Pepsi Cola they don't want to sponsor a guy like me right because they think I'm insane is that stuff all right time but at the same time they are willing to sponsor this [ __ ] [ __ ] who's cheating on his wife for [ __ ] years you know and but he plays the game he apologizes he's all like oh

my God I'm such a you know I did a mistake and I never heard anyone and I just believe in what I do and I paid a very high Price it's alive of course it's a lie and that annoys me a lot so when I see a [ __ ] [ __ ] falling down like [ __ ] Ellen DeGeneres I was so happy with that [ __ ] because everybody think oh such an amazing person it's not that is there's witness yeah you know like Lisa I don't know if she's an [ __ ]

or not but when those things I don't nice good good because there's so many good people that people think Are [ __ ] [ __ ] and there's so many [ __ ] that people think are amazing comedy is all about being likable it's all about being likable so if you're famous you have to be likable but a lot of these people just figured out how to be likable and they figured out how to be famous yeah rarely is the first thing they figured out was how to be funny you might want to switch to

patreon soon okay Um I want to uh throw one thing your way and if you have time you can stick around if not uh no big deal um I'll stick around I do you want me to stick around I don't ever want you away okay I'm not even kidding myself so what at the cellar there's like a handful of people where I just get excited nice you uh Hamilton yeah Ryan Hamilton the sweetest guys in the world I love talk to him we have great conversations Daniel Simon he's a [ __ ] [ __ ]

we Don't know that I'll tell you this there's one guy I know never know that is that is such a great guy that I'm like ah I've met some very good people now he's not he's a very nice guy Daniel Simonson Great funny super funny Mike Roland great funny guys um now here's the thing I was having a conversation with like a a super liberal friend okay and we were just talking randomly but they were like if Louie wanted to put out your special Louis CK Would you do it yes absolutely I would of course

absolutely anybody who wants to put on my special I will put the kids I can do it right because then they were like what do you mean but he's got the blah blah blah and I went okay let me ask you this would you be more comfortable if Amazon put out my special and they were like yeah and I was like now do you think that Amazon the company is better they've just been better to humanity than Louis people in Amazon are Peeing in bottles because they don't have time to go to the bathroom but

the insanity that people will cancel you for working with Louie but not Amazon or McDonald's or any of these giant companies that are destroying the world on a massive scale is [ __ ] bananas what did they say laughed because this is what we were friends it was like a friend conversation right they're like Jesus Christ you're [ __ ] right actually what she said was Um she will never begrudge a comedian um so if someone is Rich helping out someone not rich it should never be the not rich person saying I'm not gonna do

this okay yeah you know it's like take their money you can't be making those choices if someone said hey man how can we let Bill Cosby without your special I'm like I got kids to feed I'll take Bill Cosby's money I'll give a [ __ ] I don't know if I would Take bokazi if I'm being honest all right we're gonna switch to patreon um we're gonna we're gonna talk about the questions that I asked uh Max in the beginning of this episode I'm going to throw them at Rafi go a little bit lighter if

you are thank you so much everybody for listening Ralph where do they find you where'd they find your stand up Rafi comedy my Instagram just go there um I'm there that's the key That's the thing that goes everywhere hashtag at Rafi comedy it's enough it was uh it's perfect amazing pleasure first of all Yes man I'm so happy I wanted you to do this for so long and uh I don't think I've ever asked you I think I told the story yeah right I loved it oh nice I loved it that was so great good

good um and you are just such a great guy and Such a funny guy we work together with a seller come if you see the seller come on see him and Max is here Max Marcus Max Marcus comedy yes that's all social medias Marcus a comedian yeah follow me on threads amazing follow him on threads that's your book yeah single-handedly carrying threads on his shoulders [Laughter] um guys if you want to hear more if you're enjoying this or if you just want To support go to patreon.com the gregstone Zone uh we have a ton of

video old episodes of the rad dude cast old episodes of Friday night Greg there's some night cream live shows on there uh there's a ton of stuff also join the there is a um Discord that I'm going to be opening up to everyone uh go on my Instagram I'll put all the information on the Instagram and how to join that I have a a good fan who's great he's going to be helping with that Um I think because I don't know how to do it because I'm an idiot uh but I love you all we'll

see you guys in two minutes if you switch over to patreon thanks bye