hey hey hey time for another out of this world story from our space coming to terms with infidelity is a hard pill to swallow you'll ding near choke on it but what's worse is living a life that you don't even recognize anymore today on our space op moves on from his choking hazard and learns to play the leading role in his own life again coming to terms with the fact my wife is cheating on me I'm sure like many people when I first started getting thoughts in the back of my head about her being unfaithful
my immediate reaction was I'm thinking crazy she could never do that to me but I'm increasingly confident that's exactly what she's doing to me I haven't yet come across a Smoking Gun but there's been an escalating degree of Behavioral flags that can't be ignored wanting to travel for work more and expressing desires for some time apart while she stays on the other side of the country more and more being increasingly guarded over a phone never leaving it out of her sight going on long walks at night almost two times as long as she ever would
have before supposedly talking to her mom the whole time taking her vibrator with her on this most recent trip despite telling me she never uses those alone the real kicker she left her iPad at home before this most recent work trip and decided it needed to be remotely reset from the airport I guess she doesn't realize there's a time stamp in iCloud when someone does that and there's no good reason to do such a thing unless you're concerned someone's going to see messages you don't want them to I'm still mourning the loss of our marriage
and I don't even recognize myself even typing this I feel like I'm sort of paranoid and insecure freak but I don't think I'm crazy I never had an insecure bone in my body around us until a few weeks ago and all of this has culminated since then she's absolutely cheating on me update wow thank you for all the support did not expect to get this many responses to my story as well as so many people wanting to follow this throwaway account I guess it's entertaining I will keep posting updates on how this goes also because
I've gotten this tip multiple times I can't access her phone records it's a company paid phone we are not on the same network or Bill otherwise I would have done that a while ago honestly if it looks like a duck swims like a duck and quacks like a duck it's probably a duck we need to follow a good Instinct more and really trust what our minds and bodies are trying to say I feel like we know instinctively when something's off I just wish we had the balls to confront those that do us wrong so we
waste less time and energy on them than we already are the update got the receipts she's a cheater the pi came through best thousand dollars I ever spent got photos of her taking her screw boy up to the hotel room while holding hands maybe I should have waited but the anger was overwhelming I just messaged her saying I know all about it and I hope to have a good time it's over for us and attach one of the photos it felt good it's her birthday today too I hope I ruined it for her like the
coward she is she didn't respond but she's out there a whole extra week which gives me some time to start putting the Affairs in order glad I got closure and confirmed I wasn't crazy I deserve so much better than that gaslighting c word update she responded a few hours later saying what is this the gaslighting and narcissism is insane update two wow really thank you everyone for all the support I've been flooded with positive messages and it means a lot I told my family about the divorce and while they were upset they totally support me
as do my close friends she did ask to talk and I ignored it for several hours before I finally just telling her I'd rather wait a day to do so this is obviously a devastating betrayal but I'm taking the high road the world needs more love not less I've retained counsel for a lawyer and ensured she doesn't have access to the credit cards where I hold liabilities I think we can mostly be amicable let's hope the community has some thoughts about this live maze 6410 says be prepared for the it doesn't mean anything we can
work it out you weren't paying attention to me dop replies which is just funny now how could I ever believe a word she says I can and will do so much better live maze 6410 replies again in your situation I would absolutely move on to bigger and better things you stated before that there was a divorce talk and separation this puts the nail in you'll be fine long term grieve the end of the marriage heal get support from family and friends and move on the op replies it feels like a huge weight off actually because
now I feel nothing for her yeah it sucks to get divorced and all that but it's even worse to stay with someone as heinous as she is and I'm free zebriggs says be ready to be lied to manipulated and Gaslight all the way through she will tell you all kinds of things it didn't mean anything it meant everything I love you you love me so much you needed to screw another dude we were having problems and yet I never cheated you weren't paying any attention to me no the correct thing is you weren't paying me
any attention all of it was for your screw boy you don't know what I was going through of course I don't you didn't tell me and when I asked you told me all was good it was a mistake no a mistake is buying almond milk instead of soy milk it was a series of decisions you made you made your choices now own them don't do this I didn't do anything you did you chose to do all you wanted now I choose to protect myself don't you trust me hell no if you told me it was
raining and we were outside and I was soaking wet I would still look up to confirm if it was rain what will we do we we won't do anything I will now make a response in reaction to your choices I'm sorry yes you are sorry you got caught but you didn't feel sorry till now you don't understand you are absolutely correct I have never cheated so how can I understand what f up thing is going through your mind I will do anything please don't do this I can't trust you I can't believe you you did
one of the worst things that can be done you betrayed me on so many levels that you can't even begin to understand if you had sex with her in the last six months without condoms go take an STD test if you have children go take a paternity test sorry talk to a lawyer separate finances put all her things in a storage unit inform her where they are if you talk in person with her record it be it video or audio but record it protect yourself as well as you possibly can go to a therapist talk
to friends talk to family don't go to the bottle or drugs don't bottle your feelings inside go on walks hike to the gym go do your hobbies this is not the end of the book this is the end of a chapter you will come out better and stronger you will be okay maybe not now or tomorrow but you will be okay blah blah blah it's always the same they want to talk because they're guilty of getting caught or she's just going to deny it and push it right back on you and blame you for her
choices and use that to excuse the infidelity honestly there's really nothing you need to hear from her lying cheating lips save your energy and let her talk to your lawyer update we talked today for the first time she actually suggested that the photographic evidence I had of her holding the hands of a guy and walking up to her hotel room with him didn't prove anything apparently he's just a friend and someone who would listen to her because I was supposedly not doing that I told her I didn't believe her and it was irrelevant at this
point I think ultimately she's trying to save face because she was suggesting it's not fair for me to tell my friends and family she was having an affair I didn't really answer that but I just told her I had no intention of slandering her to her own family because it accomplishes nothing in the end she agreed to pretty much all the proposed terms of Separation I had laid out she also told me she'd already leased an apartment in this new city beginning next month which again is a Telltale sign to me she's being duplicitous the
only real point of contention is going to be who gets the dog which can hopefully be mediated quickly it's been a whirlwind a few days but I'm looking forward to having all of this behind me so her going up to a hotel room with a random guy doesn't prove anything did she say that why not meet at a restaurant why do you need a freaking hotel room nwtgm 1384 chimes in too many people believe that to prove adultery it must be Beyond any reasonable doubt that is for criminal cases divorce is a civil case it
is considered proven by their preponderance of evidence I.E they walked hand in hand to the hotel and spent the night and the next morning left hello any reasonable person concludes he is so lucky his Wayward wife isn't too bright dreaming of Lou says after you divorce please expose her she's in a bubble right now no real consequences she needs to feel it Affairs aren't fairy tales they're nightmares wake her up please honestly I think you're being kind by not exposing her to friends and family the moment this divorce gets hairy which it will she won't
waste one second not running your name through the dirt update I have to say I feel amazing there's a massive weight off of my shoulders knowing I'm getting out of a toxic relationship there's a lot of stuff to get through right now in terms of selling the house but we're almost done with the legal paperwork to agree on terms of separation and within a few days she'll be gone on the other side of the country I know a lot of people have said this but for me it's true as well my biggest regret is that
I didn't do this sooner I even started talking to someone and she's not only completely understanding of a situation she's making me realize how bad of a fit my soon to be X was for me in general compared to who else is out there I don't know if it'll go anywhere or not far too soon to tell but it's just so refreshing at the moment and makes me very excited for what's to come in the future I've learned from my mistakes and know myself better now than ever before I know what I want in a
future partner and what I won't compromise on I'm free happy and eager to live my life update it's now been over a month since the infidelity was confirmed and I called it quits with my sooner be ex-wife I have no regrets and I feel happier than I have in years in reflecting I realized just How Deeply the perception of being in a relationship and the fear of judgment that would come from ending a marriage contributed to my unhappiness I stayed way longer than I should have and suffered through a dead bedroom for years thinking that
it was just the way it had to be my only regret now is that I didn't leave sooner now when I read others struggling with the decision to Stay or Leave marriages that clearly leave them unhappy my heart simply breaks for them in my experience the fear of leaving was so much worse than the reality and I hope others in that situation could take a step back and really reflect on what's In Their Own best interest everyone deserves to live a happy life although it's a tough pillow to swallow I'm glad you've come to this
realization op I hope you don't let anybody else waste your time like your ex and I really hope you start living life for you moving forward do things that make you happy live your life and don't play the supporting role in your own life we are in charge of ourselves only we can make ourselves happy we can't find happiness in someone else have you ever stayed way too long in a relationship share your experiences in the comments below and thank you for joining us today on rspace don't forget to like And subscribe and hit that
notification Bell and while you're at it please let us know what you thought of today's content until next time [Music]
