who's familiar with the Maslow pyramid of need do you know that a great I see many people who have learned a lot in management school so can you tell me what's at the very bottom of the pyramid sorry so food you know things like food water basic needs okay that's the most essential things you need in order to survive people can only go without water I think for maybe 40 out eight hours or something like this so that's a really basic thing what's next once you have the food what are you going to look for
shelter so we can call this safety so the idea is you know you first get something to eat you get something to drink and then you want to feel safe and protected and not attacked by your enemy so you need to make sure you're safe what's next once we're safe what are we looking for relationships so social relationships come in after it's only logical you know you first want to eat and drink then you want to feel safe and then you start thinking about having a family friend socializing finding a spouse and things like that
and you know your client would come in on that third level as well if you're creating relationships so what's at the very top very good self-actualization so the idea is you get the food you feel safe you take your social needs into account and then once you have all that you start thinking about who do I want to be what do I want to become what I want to do with my life problem with this model is even though everybody knows it and a lot of economic theory is built on these kind of ideas that
people think like this and people act like this it's all wrong I could go like this so why is it wrong because we are wired to be social our social needs here should be at the very bottom why should they be at the very bottom because as you know as as creatures we don't survive on our own the baby is not born and goes right away into the forest to collect berries people don't survive on their own very long when they're in Wilderness from an evolutionary perspective we used to live in small tribes of maybe
150 people and then we protected each other if you were excluded from that group of people that was a death sentence okay so today I'd like to show you that social relationships are so essential to our brain that they should be at the very bottom so your client is not just somebody nice to have it's actually something you know that is wired into our brain our desire to have great relationships and the pain we feel when we don't