>>> WELL, TONIGHT IS OUR SEASON FINALE. >> YEAH. >> AND WE HAVE A TRADITION WHERE CHE AND I GIVE EACH OTHER JOKES TO REACH.
>> YEAH, WE'RE MAKING EACH OTHER READ JOKES LIVE ON AIR THAT THE OTHER PERSON HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE. >> THAT'S RIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] LET'S NOT APPLAUD YET.
THE IDEA IS OF COURSE TO GIVE EACH OTHER FUN JOKES. ALMOST SUPPORTIVE JOKES THAT WOULD NEVER RUIN OUR SUMMER OR OUR CAREER. >> YEAH.
BEFORE WE START, LAST TIME WE DID THIS I HIRED AN ACTRESS TO PRETEND TO BE A CIVIL RIGHTS HERO. AND THAT WAS LOW. SO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU THIS TIME I INVITED AN ACTUAL PRACTICING RABBI.
PLEASE WELCOME RABBI JILL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] GO AHEAD, COLIN. WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE FIRST JOKE?
>> I'M JUST AS EXCITED AS ALL OF YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] PRO-PALESTINIAN PROTESTERS WALKED OUT OF JERRY SEINFELD'S COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS AT DUKE UNIVERSITY. AND I THINK THAT'S DISGRACEFUL.
DURING THESE DIFFICULT TIMES IT'S IMPORTANT TO SUPPORT OUR JEWISH FRIENDS. THAT'S WHY THE ONLY CHANT YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME IS "FREE WEINSTEIN. " [ LAUGHTER ] KEEP FIGHTING, HARVEY.
AM I RIGHT, BUBBELE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> I THOUGHT YOU DID THAT GOOD. I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.
POPE FRANCIS SAID THIS WEEK THAT SEXUAL PLEASURE IS A GIFT FROM GOD. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION SHOULD THE CHURCH STILL HAVE ALTAR BOYS? [ LAUGHTER ] >>> SPEAKING OF KIDS, NEW DATA SHOWS THAT MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS HAVE ONLY MADE UP A THIRD OF THE MATH SKILLS THEY LOST DURING THE PANDEMIC.
THEIR MATH WAS SO BAD THEY DIDN'T GET IT WHEN I TEXTED THEM YOU PLUS ME EQUALS 69. [ LAUGHTER ] COLIN. >> WOW.
OKAY. >> HEY, YOU PUT IT IN TEXT. CHAT -- OH, GOD.
CHATGPT HAS RELEASED A NEW VOICE ASSISTANT FEATURE INSPIRED BY SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S AI CHARACTER IN "HER. " WHICH I'VE NEVER BOTHERED TO WATCH. BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT BODY WHAT'S THE POINT OF LISTENING?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU GOT A LITTLE MORE THERE. >> SO RABBI JILL, IF YOU'RE HERE, WHO'S CONTROLLING THE WEATHER? [ LAUGHTER ] >> I DON'T EVEN GET THAT JOKE, COLIN.
MULTIPLE WOMEN HAVE POSTED VIDEOS ON TIKTOK CLAIMING THAT WHILE WALKING THE STREETS OF NEW YORK THEY WERE RANDOMLY PUNCHED BY MEN. WELL, THEN DAMN, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ] AND SPEAKING OF BITCHES, I WANT TO CALL UP THE BIGGEST BITCH OF ALL, KENDRICK LAMAR.
[ LAUGHTER ] OR SHOULD I SAY LITTLEST. YOUR WAR WITH DRAKE MAY BE OVER, BUT YOUR WAR WITH MICHAEL CHE IS JUST BEGINNING. [ LAUGHTER ] SO TO QUOTE HAMILTON, SHOOT YOUR SHOT, PLAYER.
THAT WAS PRETTY WELL DONE, MAN. OKAY. I DON'T LIKE THAT ONE BIT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, THIS NEXT JOKE MIGHT BE A LITTLE TOO OFFENSIVE FOR ME TO SAY. SO RABBI JILL, WILL YOU BE A MENSCH AND HELP ME OUT? >> HOW?
>> WOULD YOU HAND ME THAT PUPPET? [ LAUGHTER ] >> COLIN, DON'T USE THE PUPPET. >> OH, MY GOD.
IT WAS REPORTED THAT COMCAST, THE OWNERS OF NBC, TOLD MSNBC TO CURB THEIR CRITICISM OF ISRAEL. AND IF THEY DON'T, WE'LL HIT THEM WITH OUR SPACE LASERS. >> OH, NO.
>> RABBI. RABBI?
