The Power of Divine Femininity with April Mason

What are your views on double standards I personally am okay with the double standard because I've learned how to make the patriotical system work for me gotcha yeah you can get equality but go for more Equity yeah that's different that's that's a different ball game but I believe we women think that um this whole patriotical thing and oh I got to be submissive equals Subs servant being Subs servant and it doesn't and I believe as women we give y'all way too much credit than we should in the romance area most men ladies don't know romance

no and it's like well he needs to plan a romantic most men aren't not [Music] romantic peace and blessings welcome back to the channel once again where we taught all things health and healing from my holistic perspective and today Will be no different actually today is going to be glorious today is going to be Regal today is going to be queendom today with my guest today my guest today is a feminine lifestyle strategist and dating mindset coach she's the president and owner of April Mason Enterprises which includes all things feminine and feminine CEO Brands she

actually coined the phrase feminine CEO she's a bestselling author of multiple books including identity switch which You got thousands of five star reviews I see she's a former talk show host tedex speaker and over two decades as an entrepreneur did I mention that she's a has an honorary doctorate in Psychology so I guess I got to call her Dr April Mason my friend and dear confident oh hello my love that is that me you're talking about oh man so thank you thank you thank you so much for making the arrangements to come here to be

with us I felt like having the conversation with you was going to be vital to all the conversations that we're going to be having here and I thought that you know once we get into the conversation people will start to understand how we can really impact the relationships not only the relationship that we have with others but the relationship that we actually have with ourselves as well too absolutely thank you for having me I could not miss this this I'm so proud of You friend I'm like look at you you got his little suit on

your little muscles showing and everything wait muscles just a little bit flex a little bit more to people H thank you for having me and it's really great to be here so that people we can have the conversations that you and I have behind the scenes you know we talk certain and stuff but we don't we've never this I think this our first time actually having a dialogue about what we talk about on the Phone and you know the stuff that how we dive deep so it makes it easier for us to understand certain things

and I think you know this is I believe this is a going to be a good conversation I know it is I know it is because I think if people could be a flly on the wall to the conversations that we have I think Not only would they be informed but they will be entertained definitely entertained I I'm G say is Doctor know where the bodies is Buried yes indeed indeed you know you know we met about four years ago and I'll tell you I don't have a lot of female friends and what what I

will say is you are undoubtedly my closest female friend oh and I value you so much because not only from the perspective of I get to understand emails from a different standpoint because of the expertise that you have but also I think it's very valuable for men to get women in their lives that are un on par with The type of woman that they would want to spend the rest of their lives with because it's like the best practice yes it is the like the best practice to have good women around you so that first

you know they exist yes and secondarily you can have another perspective on how women think because I think both men and women make this mistake where they think that they know how the other party thinks but as you know Men Are from Mars and women are forist when it comes to That yes and I always tell people um because people always ask about our relationship and I said you know I said Bobby is like my night and I told you this before it's like I know that I Dependable you know um brain is just amazing

but I believe it goes back to something that and I talked about before when women aren't don't have even strong masculine friendships when it's time for that leader that man that they want to lead to come in they haven't had any Practice because nobody around them operates in that true masculinity so if you don't even have masculine friends and men that are upright cuz I think back in 2019 I had a situation and you walk me through that situation I was you let me fuss let me say whatever I needed to say about men I

was it it was a lot and I have I think it was the cognitive dissonance that I had to deal with that during that time and you let me fuss and I said some Stuff about men because I was so angry about how this whole thing blew up yeah and you ain't say nothing you just like you need something I'm like I need some vegan raw vegan sweeted pie and I need you to go down here to get and you I got it and you let me vent you I think it was like a week

and so after I got I came to I was cool but having you there to be able to even vent about the situation that happened um was a blessing and I Believe that so many women don't know how to even choose men because they don't even have male friends in their life that are platonic and that they can actually have good dialogue and know the difference between a toxic masculinity and true masculine leadership indeed yes indeed you know what's um it's funny I put you in the same category as is like a Felicia rasad AKA

CLA hux and like a dying Carol because you since the day we've met you've always Had this regalness about you and this effortless command for respect and um some people think that sometimes you're in this like presence with men they think that it's something that you're acting out yeah when it's just something that you're actually being it's like a it Factor I think the French call it J sequa yeah okay okay okay and so tell us a little bit about your uh superhero origin story because I I always say this like you Know for people

to be amazing they always have a a beautiful origin story that is has different types of you know inflections in it to share with the audience well first of all let me say it's an honor to be compared to those ladies my mother calls me Diane Carol that's so crazy because she'll send me stuff on Instagram I'm like M what you doing on Instagram but she'll send me little pictures of Diane Carol and she said that's you I said well you know What it took me going through some things to even get to that for

those that don't know my story I dealt with um 12 years of sexual abuse from the age of 5 to 17 I dealt with two rapes I dealt with domestic violence where you wouldn't recognize the left side of my face homelessness and everything else in between so my hero story is that I had to take accountability for how I was going to end up now I can't say that anything That happened in the past was 100% my fault yeah but I can determine who I still want to become regardless of that so it took me

deciding you know April what kind of woman do you want to be how do how do you want to show up in the world yeah and I made a choice of how I wanted to show up in the world I always wanted to be a woman that was well respected but very relatable you know kind of like the sister girl but yet we can be a little bougie if we need to be Can ride first class only but at the end of the day we can go to the hood and go to the little hole

in wall I think people know that side of you you know I tell everybody you know this is what I I tell folks they don't know my middle name I'm like it depends on who I am today you can get April you can get Miss Mason or you can get ebony which one you want you know and Ebony is that's that's my my my Urban girl you know and I had to decide that I was going to be Comfortable in my skin you know and I think what people get from me cuz one of the

biggest compliments that I get is Miss April you're the same in person as you are online and that came from I remember 2018 someone asked me what's your biggest accomplishment and I said being the same across the board yeah and I had to learn that I'm okay being who I am I my brand of femininity as I call it refin hood a little bit cuz you know I'm not always pink I like to dive into the Dark feminine but then I can just be you know the princess at the same time so there's not one

thing that you can you know pin me down and say you're just this one thing and femininity is not just the color pink or it's not even the color pink long hair walking you know with your with your heels on and dress that had nothing to do with femininity child and so I I became comfortable in my own skin yeah after I went through all of those things I made a choice to Assess the situation to accept what they are and then decide how move forward yeah and I think that's so important because what people

try to do is skip the healing and get to the results yes and one of the things that you always say is you don't need to heal the man you need to heal the little boy you don't need to heal the woman you need to heal the little girl cuz most of our trauma happens when we're children but it plays out in our adulthood when it Comes to our decision- making and that's very true for me too you know by the age of 12 I had witnessed so Much Death um had so many experiences that

only a grown person should have I had a son by the time I was 15 so I have been through a lot and a lot of that was very traumatic for me and it wasn't until I sat down with myself and realized that what I had gone through I didn't heal from that and all of the decisions that I was making was based upon a lot of Those traumas that I had went through and as I began to heal myself what I I began to was all my decisions started to change and I always say

to people like when you become the highest version of you that is the healed version of you yes so what are some of the things you had to heal from the become the amazing person that you are today um one of those things was being able to accept I believe acceptance is key because sometimes we want the answer to the why Yeah and what if there is no answer yeah you know and all of the things that I've gone through I would ask myself what if I never have an opportunity to tell these people how

I feel and what if I do and they say oh I don't even remember doing that to you I don't remember saying this or being here and you sitting there like I've held all of this for so long and these Jokers can't even give me an answer yeah so what happens when there is no answer to the Why typically what we do is we continue to replay what could have been and we continue to keep ourselves in that past place and so for me I just it was a decision I I believe that when you

make the decision to be a better person or make that identity switch you have to decide nobody can tell you who you want to become you have to say look these are the situations I keep going through yeah what is the common denominator in this it's me you know and I remember when I Was married when I got married I was a size six when I got married shouldn't have been married I had no no business being married yeah but I got depressed I went through a really horrible bout of depression and I still in

my mind was a size six in my head but I wasn't paying attention that I was buying jeggins I wasn't even buying jeans no more my shirts became went from medium to extra large and I wasn't paying attention until one day I was in Walmart and I Walked past the mirror and I literally got to see my well I'm only 53 without shoes me and I had got up to a size 16 yeah that you wouldn't even known me no you would have walked right on past me but I had to make a decision April

what's caused this cuz this is not you and I was in a not a good marriage like I always tell people you never hear me talking negatively about my ex-husband because I chose him based on where I was he was being he was a match to who I was At the time the unhal version the unhal version of me so I had I don't have anything negative to say about him because he came into my life because I welcomed him I always tell people it's not what you um it's not what you attract is what

you entertain because I can have a glass of water and in this glass of water could be good men bad men and different men toxic masculinity and all the other foolishness that they say now yeah but what I choose to pull out Of there is a reflection of where I am yeah doesn't mean that there's not good men men in that that water that cup of water so I never have anything negative to say about that other than April if you were a heal more healed version of you he would have got a hello and

you would have just kept on walking but my traumas was an attraction yeah and he he mirrored everything it was trauma bonding it was trauma bonding right it was trauma bonding so can you blame Somebody else for you choosing them out of your trauma right and I think that that goes back to my point the highest version of you is heal version of you and the heal version of you makes very different decisions from the unal version of you yes and it's all about taking that accountability in your healing Journey yes yes now you've been

in a relationship space for 10 to 15 years yeah and you've helped both men and women cultivate relationships and Marriages and you got the receipts to prove it oh yeah they long as drunk I mean I come to your events and I hear people stand up with testimonies I'm getting married in June I got married last year and it's it's a beautiful thing to see but you've been in the game so long and now you're starting to see all of these people who were in other Industries switched to becoming relationship coaches and you're starting To

see on the internet a lot of the narrative around relationships is very negative mm and it sounds crazy because people want to be together women are saying they're trying to find good men and men are saying they're trying to find good women yeah how has the landscape of dating changed or what was it like when you first started in this space versus what is it like today well to be honest with you today what it is today is why I quit it's why I retired And I quit in 2021 um the thing is what men

and women want has not changed and it will never change it's like like I tell folks I'm which camera do I look at to look at that camera I don't make the rules I didn't say it was fair it just is what it is so nothing has changed as far as what the wants are what has changed is how people believe um they should go about getting it and what they think their value is to the opposite sex okay Gotcha that plays a huge part and it's like no that ain't what women value no that

ain't what men value but instead of people listening to say wait a minute I'm going to study the psychology of of how men work I'm going to study the psychology of how women work but I got to say this though y'all know how we work the issue that I have and you know the ladies I go hard on the ladies because I understand the power that we have yeah y'all know what to do to get Us it's from me doing this work for so long and honestly I really wasn't a dating coach I I had

to use that as bait because they weren going to come to me by themselves yeah so I really teach woman is what I teach woman and femininity and that connects them to the type of men that they want I just use y'all you know put a little sugar at the medicine you know so that's so people always thought oh my gosh she's a dating coach but anyone that actually have Taken my courses or been in mymy I teach it more about them than becoming the woman than I ever teach about a man come in that

highest version of them themselves yes but I just like I said I just got to use the man as the bait to get a in because they don't be coming in by the self I'm like girl the man is the I always say the man is the byproduct the you know the type of man most wom women want you have to be a different version of yourself to get that kind of Guy and vice versa you know to the men cuz I was coaching men just as much as I was coaching women got same issues

but nobody wanted to make an identity switch because it was easier to blame everybody else gotcha you know so for me it seeing what I see now it's a cesspool but the desire of what they want hasn't changed yeah that's the crazy part it's like you still girl if you tell the truth girl you know you want some biceps and triceps in your bed Child you know you do not want to be out there doing another pandemic looking for toilet paper you don't want to do that and if we honest we don't want to open

our own doors we don't want to take out no garbage we don't we we want somebody that we can vent to we we really want and desire deep connection we just don't know how to get to it but the thing is although we may have evolved in certain areas the core connection of what we want has not changed gotcha gotcha all Right so it's my belief that men have this innate Divine masculine nature and then women have this innate divine feminine nature and we see this both in biology psychology and even in spirituality too yes

the ying and yang is always present would you agree with that I agree you agree okay so if that's being the case how do we get to a point where you're now coaching women or have the necessity to coach women to actually be feminine what it is their divine Nature oh child first of all ladies thank y'all so much for helping me take care of my family because I never would have thought that I would have had a job teaching women how to get back to their femininity but here's why we have to take into

account that prior women didn't have rights there's a lot of things that we had to suffer with at the hands of men so in my opinion this is just my opinion what happened was we have our grandmothers and great Grandmothers and women that came before us that were stuck in a position to where even if they were mistreated they could not leave no education no money nowhere to go women could not even get a credit card a single woman until the 1960s and a woman couldn't even get a business loan until 1988 so there was

so many barriers that we had as women so what happened was the women that came before us although they what men Modern Men I hate that term Modern Men today Call you know say we want women to go back to the olden days what you're not understanding is there were there was a lot of Oppression on women in the older days and a lot of times women were overly submissive because you got to make sure you got to keep that house your you know your survival intact yeah and then the the coin the term um

she can't keep a man that was looked at as derogative toward a woman because keeping a man was Your survival yeah so you looked at as your ability to keep a man you know that's where your value came from so now we go through um Decades of women fighting for their rights right we finally get a certain level of of Rights right but what happened was our the women that came before us pushed us get educated get educated get educated right but they did not teach us the woman part so now we have a lot

of women who are especially in the African-American Community black women that are the most educated and the least married yeah it's not because they can't be wives it's because we weren't given that same um push to learn how to be the wife we were giving the same push to learn how to be worker bees so now the type of men that most women come to me for those men are okay with you being educated but they're looking more for the wife qualities so we don't we're not taught to put the same effort into developing as

feminine Women as we are to go go get the bag give be a b [ __ ] be a bad [ __ ] girl we you know we don't we don't get we get that thrown at us so then when women come to me and say Miss April I make $300,000 a year I have my own this that at there my own house my own car my little dog you know little outfits for my little dog you know all of that I can't seem to get a date to save my life and I'm like I

hear that a lot not only only at your events but even at stefon's Events I like that's that is exactly how when the questions come that's exactly how it's actually put yes and so I'm like do y'all want me to be do you want me to keep it 100 with you or do you want me to sugarcoat it because I know why that is as a woman that has dated in the top 10 to 1% of men especially black men yeah I've gone I've you know even though I wouldn't look for no relationship I was

always dating them kind of guys at the time I said do you Want that answer because I know that man very very well yeah and he is is he different from the average man yes yes um and if you have don't have experience with that guy you might be get your feelings hurt for what you think it will be versus what it actually is and so it the women that I ended up end up coaching well when I was coaching before y'all maybe retire cuz y'all was too much work honey I tried to make a

stop he tried and I like I can't do it no more I can't because it was like fighting and I had to be in my masculine more to coach the women I'm like I'm just trying to get you to what you say you want I don't make the rules I didn't say it was fair a lot of it's not fair but this is what you say you want and I'm just an accepting person you know I look at the bottom line if I I remember my son um my middle son he was complaining About getting

his driver's license test taking a test M these questions are stupid and he going through all of this stuff right well you right son this this one really don't make no sense guess what this is what you have to pass in order to get that license right so like I always say it's not fair it just is what it is so I found that women wanted me to give them a formula to make the men that they wanted want something different yeah I can't do That I'm like girl I sis I get you but that

man he likes the fact that you are educated and that you have all of these letters behind your name that that's wonderful but that's not what he's going to decide on if you are going to make a good wife for him and the problem is because we've s spent so much time over in the education sector and not in the cultivating the intrinsic value of the woman's sector you're having a problem Connecting yeah that's what it is so it's not that a man is always intimidated now you do have those that are but when you

walk in the woman energy in addition I call it the queen and the princess energy when you walk in both of those it's different you can be that feminine CEO cuz feminine CEO is a woman that her lifestyle her business is around her lifestyle not her lifestyle around her business and she doesn't lead with what she can do she lead with who She is yeah well most as opposed to what you were just saying earlier yes make $300,000 I have these degrees I have this car blah blah blah blah that's what they tend to lead

with when they come to me and I'm like I get it and no you should not have to downplay what you are but guess what you're not just that yeah that's the thing I said so let's take off this pseudo confidence what you mean you have confidence in what you can do but not confidence in who you can be Yeah that's the difference I said the feminine when you walk in a room it changes the temperature in the room you are the temperature not the thermostat you set the tone in the room I said but

what we see is a lot of women having confidence because of what they've accomplished but if you take all of that away from you who are you tell me who you are and especially when you're walking into a relationship with a person has the very same thing yes and That's that's another thing that's that's the another thing they be killing me with it's like I hear women say all the time I make sure I tell him you know I don't I'm not after him for his money and trying to just make sure he take care

of me girl be quiet he never asked about the money shut up because guess what you can't say out of your mouth I want a provider but you saying letting them know I had to let them know I can Provide for myself no I can't I can't do nothing I can't do nothing I when I'm with you I can't even see right I don't I'm following whatever wherever you taking me risk are broke yeah when men are around my risk are broke I'm like you don't have it's like you have to they want to say

that to make sure you know that I'm not after trying to get what's in your bank account but here's the thing provider men understand that they have to take care of their Woman you don't have to show them that you can do it they they like that because what they get from you which I call the feminine exchange makes them want to continue to give to you yeah but a lot of women don't have the feminine exchange they want the man where Miss April where these men at that pay bills since he not going to

want you CU you don't give the feminine exchange men take care of women that give them the feminine exchange yeah and I always say This it's important that women understand that when when women get money A lot of times it's for their own independence it's to make sure that they're secure Etc but when men achieve a certain level of success it's not to be independent it's actually to create an opportunity for their family to be solely dependent on them yes and so that's a very different understanding so if you come in to a relationship or

to a meeting with a man or like meeting a man For a first time he's not looking for what you have in that sense because that's what he's looking to provide that's why they call a man a provider so that's why there's a probably a misunderstanding or miscommunication even from the beginning yes now I got a question for you oh boy can you remember from like your earliest memories like the first time you're embracing your femininity as a superpower do you know when that started for You I do but I was on the dark side

of it during that time so what is Dark Side of femininity well it depends on how you use it so I always say a woman should walk in her light and dark feminine you know and the dark feminine transformation happens in the dark okay you know and part of that dark sometimes can be deep in your sensuality like when I realized I had this thing it was like you couldn't tell me nothing my friends will be like how In the world are you I'm like girl watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this

but I didn't know exactly what it was I just knew it worked it worked and so I remember the first time and this is was used based upon the broken part of who I was was at the time gotcha my negative with my femininity and how I used it in the improper way darling I'm on with it now I knew that how men responded to me From our early age from the time I I remember from middle school boys always responded to me in a particular way I didn't know why that was but they did

and so once I started messing around with this thing this this kind of like magic that I felt like I had when I got into my 20s and I by that time I had gone through the sexual abuse and all of the you know the at least one of the rapes I had gone through yeah I there was a part of me that was like I'mma get Them before they get me and but I some way I knew how to use that thing I had to do it so I remember when I first like used

it intentionally I was at a club back in Oakland California and um there was this guy he walked in with this girl yeah and he was dancing with her on the dance floor and I was kind of his her back was to me and he was looking and we locked eyes and I said got him immediately I went to the lady's room and all of a sudden he he Was by the door and I came out he looked at me I said I knew you'd be here yeah and he said how did you know I

said I watched you watch me he said are you single I said depends and so all of this dialogue was going on and my girlfriends was like they was just like they was watching them Venus and Serena match and so um he said he said something to me which prompted me to say uh you're too easy and I walked off yeah and that was my thing so for a while when I was in That healing space and using my femininity to crush kind of I would say that cuz we can all do that yeah you

can use it for good or evil and so my my vice with it was I knew I could you if I wanted you it was like a it's it's actually a six-second stare that I teach my my clients to do but I teach them how to use it for good yeah but I understood what I was and so it was just like all right when I walk in the room I already knew and so people would say well you Know how do you do this as a darker skinned woman I'm like it never crossed my

mind you know it was I'm girl and I can have whatever I want when I walk in this room gotcha got that was it that was so that was that was my first yes sort of like aha moment yes I got a superpower yes so you you spoke earlier about walking in Your Divine femininity first can you tell us what that is and then secondly can you tell us about the Difference between being feminine and acting feminine because I'm um I think people what people often struggle with is the difference between being and acting well

the thing is to be what divine femininity is being exactly what you are as a woman we have to remember that a lot of things were stripped away from us our ability don't feel we live in an unbothered culture we're disconnected from our sensuality we're disconnected from real wisdom we're Disconnected um from sensuality these things are what make us in my opinion the core nature of what women are also being able to embrace our darker side as well because I look at femininity as mother nature mother nature nurtures us brings us the sunshine brings us

the rain uh provide resources Feed Us Mother Nature is also destructive y Mother Nature is also can also cause catastrophe and will destroy anything in its path hurricanes earthquakes all of That but at the same time after it's all over Mother Nature comes Cals down and you get back to getting your resources and you're nurtured again yeah that's what I view femininity as it's not this this pseudo performance femininity most women when I was I'm in this work heavy they came to me for strategies I don't teach strategies I teach becoming and being comfortable in

your skin whether you're size two or whether you're size 32 it's not about a particular look if You look it through history the women that were deemed the most feminine that had the most influence were not um traditionally beautiful women yeah for sure they were not so what I see now and what I see all over uh I say Beyonce's internet is performance femininity the hair the makeup things that can be purchased at a beauty supply store yeah class and decorum is now being described as feminine the color pink wearing dresses All that has nothing

to do with femininity can it enhance yes okay but that's not what it is is it's you being in your authentic self walking in your femininity your spirituality your sensuality and your womanly wisdom God calls wisdom her for a reason but we live so much so in a disconnected world that women don't even feel anymore we literally have had to turn our natural instinctual biological makeup to connect and say I don't want that I you know I Don't I would rather be by myself and you're lying that and I'm like you can be okay with

saying yeah I want a husband I've never heard a man say he don't need no woman I don't need no woman he's not going to like if I was with in a group of men and I heard a man say that yeah I think every man in the circle would look at him crazy yes because like in our minds it's like nope not living without that yes and that goes back to what I said earlier men Know what to do to get women yeah it's women who want who won't take down the pride and ego

to be able to get the type of man that they want and I know they going to come for me for this one but it's the truth men have you guys are wired to look good okay let me get some money get the man with the money get the girl yeah you know let me go get career let me y'all get lineups for us if it wasn't for us y'all wouldn't be doing all of the stuff that y'all do what for What you would it's for us we know that I know that but the thing

is the stuff that I suggest that women do is Z Ryan doing that okay then come don't talk to me then I I don't know what to tell you because men have mastered what women want which is why they can play the representative even for a short amount of time and we fall for it because they've learned what it takes to at least get us maybe not keep us but they at least know the foundational stuff of How to get our attention yeah gotcha gotcha now moving on there's been a lot of inequality for women

since the beginning of time that a course needs to be be accounted for and so that's why I understand the push for women to get certain you know equality so to speak but there are also some double standards that are in favor of women and so things like hypergamy yes you know the idea of never dating down I know that's a big thing on internet now and you know I Always say when people say well a woman should never date down and and they they tend to focus on finances when it comes to dating down

not character yeah and so I'm like well isn't that what men have been doing for a very long time from a yeah from a F Financial standpoint yeah and then things like the military draft like the the situation that was happening in in the Ukraine the country said all women and children can leave all the men had to stay and they were Bombing the entire country and still are to this day yeah you know some of the most dangerous jobs in the world I mean it sounds great to want to be a doctor or a

lawyer but then like the jobs like the miners the the oil rig workers these are like jobs that where it's 98% men some of the most dangerous jobs construction workers who are walking on these little bars yeah 150 floors up in the in the in the sky you know a burglar comes into the house You're not going downstairs I would never ask you to go go downstairs you know and so there are some double standards that are in favor of women so that you know I always think to myself the idea of eliminating double standards

it would eliminate yours too so what are your views on double standards I personally I'm okay with the double standard because I've learned how to make the patriotical system work for me Gotcha so I'm okay with it you know and when I say that I don't mean that being a door matter you know cuz that's the last thing I'm from Oakland ain't nobody running over me child you know that ain't it but what I understand is this world was built on men leading or men being in charge whether they got there uh by force whether

you know or if it was you know honest which a lot of it was not yeah but at the same time the things as women that women are asking For as far as taking care where these men take care of us right well men are often looked down upon if they don't take care of their families yeah so I've learned how to make that work for me that's a double standard oh well why why she can't go to work well CA even in y'all's Bible it said a man that don't take care of his of

family is less than an Infidel so yeah if that means you will take care of me and because because if you don't you look down upon And I can't go out here or I'm looked at as less than because I if I sleep with a bunch of guys or if I do masculine things I'll take that 4,000 Alex yeah you mean to tell me that you know the devil standard can work for me too because everybody always talks about a man that doesn't take care of his family also in divorce typically the woman you know

gets paid out really well she makes out really well why because of the double standard of well you was taken Care of her so you got to keep on doing it I'll take that for 3,000 and Alex so when you understand and stop fighting and understand yeah you can get equality but go for more Equity yeah that's different that's that's a different ball game but I believe we women think that um this whole patriotical thing and oh I got to be submissive equals Subs servant being Subs servant and it doesn't so I don't have a

problem with the double standard Because I understand the double standard it plays on on y'all side too yeah yeah yeah and I think I think our mothers and grandmothers had a diff had a understanding like you do of that they understood what double standards were in their favor and which ones were not in their favor but when you look at today you start to see there's a huge difference between the thinking of women today versus Before and some of it needs that to changeed to be honest abely absolutely you know it just wasn't Not only

was it not fair but it was just improper yes to say the least so do you believe a traditional man or woman can successfully date a modern man or woman do the VA are the values the say can the dynamic work it all depends what that modern individual is requiring because what I find is a lot of people that talk about they modern they still want Traditional things yeah and I'm like wait it's like a guy that says I want a a traditional woman but you want her to go 50/50 boy if you do not

go get out of here and go pay this mortgage by yourself you want to extract my feminine experience you get from me and I got to go to work 12 hours a day pick a side yeah you got to pick a side so it's interesting I don't think honestly I don't think people realize what they saying to be honest with you because Most of the people I hear about this traditional talk I mean this modern talk they're still asking for traditional things if you listen to some of the little clips that I see on Tik

Tok men talking about the modern I mean the the modern woman ain't like X Y and Z well you're the same guy saying that you want a traditional woman like leave it to Beaver's mama like Miss June but yet you're still saying no um you know we got to go 50/50 and she got to you know Do xwi no them women even though those women might have been under a little bondage a little bit they still didn't have to go to work so you can't you got you you got to pick a Cho you know

so I don't think people really know what they are saying and what they're really asking for I just think a lot of people have microphones and it sound good and it what they're spewing hits other people's traumas gotcha right and so they're speaking to These traumas and it gets them a lot of clicks and Views gotcha gotcha gotcha because you know my my thing is is that the when I see the values the values are represented very differently when you look at the two Dynamics and I believe that that's where the confident comes into play

how you raise your children um how things are handled in the home how money is handled which are all things that end end up causing divorce yes and if you're not on the Same page because a man and a woman are going to be a team that's the only way it works yes if and it's and it's not like a team where it's like you know two unequal Partners this a Shaq and Kobe you can't win without the other yes and so I find that when the values are very different you essentially have two teammates

that just can't win together yes so if if that's the case if it's very difficult for that Dynamic to work and we spoke about the Importance of like the Fe the feminine masculine Dynamic how important that is from a natural standpoint what advice do you give these beautiful successful females who are independent and you know essentially winning in life what what advice do you give them because I hear a lot of them are having problems you know when it comes to finding either that equal or above especially for these women who are very successful you

know Going out making $300,000 $500,000 and then they go into the dating market and they're not getting success what do you what advice did you do you give first of all we have to look at what are you determining what are they determining as equal yeah so just because you can make $300,000 a year doesn't mean you have woman skills you're showing you have work skills right so that doesn't translate into a relationship exactly so I think well I Know that that's one of the bigger problems it's like I tell a lot of my ladies

and I and these are women that are doing very well I said sis you already settling yeah what you mean you're already settling because number one you don't know who you are so you can't choose a Man based upon your core needs which means you don't know how to vet so you and all of the things that you've acquired that's beautiful but you're still settling Because one of the things that I've learned dating extremely successful men is that yes they might have a lot of money and success but they not always got it up here

yeah right they don't always have it emotionally they're not always emotionally in um intelligent and have intellectual maturity because they spent their time grinding and hustling trying to be successful in the world so even if you do meet a man that matches you on paper does he match your values Your standards or is it just the six figures now I'm not telling nobody to go get nobody broke because you know we don't do broke broke make me itch child but I believe we should be looking for more than what's on in a check in account

because like I said I find that a lot of these guys that these women want that are up here you might not want them when you realize that the little boy in them is not healed you might not want them when you realize that he's More more than likely 98% of the time he's Clark Kent versus Superman can you still respect him as Clark Clark Kent as you can Superman see in the world he you see him on TV you see him doing his thing you know in the community all of that can you handle

the fact that there's a whole another level of insecurity that his little boy within him is running are you going to look at him now as wait a minute you're not the man that I signed up for yeah that's a Whole different ball game dealing with that level of emotional damage that a lot of these men have because they have Arrested Development they've been dealing with women who only wanted them for their money and those um men value themselves strictly on their accomplishments can you deal with the fact that he can buy you a Birkin

bad girl but you can't go deep with him emotionally they don't want to have those conversations because they're only Looking at paper yeah and as someone that has been in that pool child that's a whole another level of um emotional drainage as a woman that you have to say you know what this man is worth it to me to do this I don't think people women understand what comes with the guy that everybody seems to want typically um me coaching with them we have another division of the company called the feminine ear and I work

with a lot of your celebrity people the men From athletes to politicians and all of that and a lot of these men you know they're damaged little boys looking for that little boy and them to be healed yes they have their own healing to do but a feminine presence just the presence of a feminine woman can heal that gotcha without her ever having to say a word gotcha gotcha you know one of the things I also really respect about you is um your daughter ah you know I I think you know one of the greatest

Representations of your work is how your daughter lives her life like if you can't if you can heal everybody out here in terms of like showing them how to be in the Divine femininity but then you your daughter is not living in hers then what does that say about you and so that's one of the things I I really really respect about you your daughter knows how to show up in her relationship yes so it's a reflection of you yes and So I really respect that about you thank you and so can we talk about

the well let's F let me first say this what I what I hear again like you know me I don't go out a lot yes I stay in my hole yo I old man old man Bobby I do you know if I if I'm either in my hole which I call my home well I'm traveling you know what I'm so but other than that I I my goal is to stay away from the foolishness what is to me is bad energy Yes and um as I look out and scour this internet I'm constantly hearing the

conversation about what women want what women want what women want and then they're getting into these relationships and they're not working because quite often that you described to me women don't know how to show up in the relationship as the woman for the man yes and although the man has great a great idea about how you want to show up for him they don't necessarily have a Really good idea about how to show up for them yes so how are women supposed to show up in the relationship with their partner first of all you have

to show up selfless see the reason why my daughter got it right this time so everybody people that know the story they know the first time I was like don't get married and she went against me and it I'm like no but you let her hit her head she came back she was like my everything you say I'mma do tell me to do I'mma do it yeah love my son-in-law he's amazing right but one of the things that I taught my daughter is first know yourself and then take the time to find out what you

need to find out about a man in a selfless way meaning yeah that going on dates trying to figure out if he husband material cuz you're checking off to see if he meets your needs but you haven't even asked any questions about him to find out about who this man is at his Core women tend to go in more selfish I I I about me versus you know let me study him let me there's something about him I don't know what it is just yet but let me take the time to study this man yeah

that and that was one thing I was telling you one time we was having a conversation and this girl I was dating at the time she said hey so where are we going in this relationship now mind you we had been on like a couple of dates and the First thing I asked I was like do you know my son's name and she did not know my son's name now I had bought it up a few times and she said I can't remember it I said so how can you want to be in a relationship

with me when one of the most important people in my life you don't even know their name exactly you know and so I think a lot of times what happens is a lot of a lot of women get into situations Where and this is just the male perspective here where they're on a date and they have relinquished all the doing to the man yeah it's like we're on a date you got to pick the place you got to pick me up you got to take me there you got to engage in the conversation and initiate

the conversation but it's not it's a monologue not a dialogue it's the guy asking I even had a a time where I was literally asking all these questions to this girl and then she said So you don't like the share and I was like what do you mean he's like why didn't you answer your own questions for me and I thought to myself wait what so you want me to do the job of getting to know me for you that sounds crazy and so like you know just from my perspective I think this is one

of the biggest issues why nobody's really getting connection but what people are really getting a lot of is attachment oh that's good yeah Yeah um I would agree with that and even go as far as saying the reason why a lot of that is is because as from little girls we're told we're the prize right yeah but what people don't understand is there's different size prizes yeah child you know when you go to the fair you got the little starfish you can win for a couple you know you dump the little thing and you can

win then you know the prize the prizes go up and then we have to decide what prize we're Going to be and are we going to be that jumbo bear that somebody had to put the effort in somebody had to just to they put their time effort and money into winning that prize so who you have to be come to be a prize worth winning and I believe a lot of times women don't believe that they should bring anything other than themselves and I hate to tell y'all camera right here yeah relationships are transactional always

have been and always will be but the Transaction is typically the man gets the feminine experience from the woman in exchange he protects and provide her I don't know where we live where where we got to a place where we live where we don't believe that love is conditional and that it's not transactional it's always been that way and I'll prove it to you when a man ask a woman to marry him he's going through his mind of every condition that this woman meets and Standard within yeah because of who she's being to him and

the asset that she is that he views her as in his life in exchange I'm going to give you this ring and ask you to be mine forever because I like what you bring to my life yeah men always choose a Woman based on emotion how she makes him feel so that's a transaction when I think when people think transaction they think money only yeah no the feminine experience is a beautiful a beautiful transaction to be Able to give to a man but you have to give it to yourself first that's how you become it

you don't become it for a man you walk in it every day and he gets to experience it and it's like Oh I like that wait a minute hold up you know wait I need to be in your presence now now I'm eager to see you and hesitant to leave you now now you know I'm calling all the time I want to take you out all the now it's like wait a minute but I haven't done anything but who you're Being in your in your body and operating in your girl energy that's what does it

so I believe that we have to get back to that as women that's why I always talk about Reawakening your femininity it's not that you don't have it it just need to be shook up a little bit you know to get what get what you want now but here's the thing though because a lot of times when you're talking to you to to your April Mason Hive you tell them and I have to I have To check you on this sometime yes you when you say all I got to do is show up my presence

yes and I have to tell you like I have to check you on that because your presence isn't the only thing that you bring very and I think you mislead them greatly so what should I be telling them well my thing is is that I get to experience you as a friend yes and how you show up for me but I also get to hear about how you show up for the men you date as well too and you Add so much value other than just showing up because that's a big now where a lot

of women are saying all I got to do is show up on the table and I think it gives them this preconceived notion that presence is all that is required of women and I think it's really important that you share with them how you show up in a man's life that not only brings peace but it makes his life go up like this because every woman of any man who's been of any Value it wasn't just her showing up mhm and I think it's really important you share that with women so when I say show

up U understand I'm talking about a woman showing up that's in her femininity her spirituality her sensuality and her wisdom yeah those are the three four components that I talk about when I'm talking about showing up so yeah what does spirituality bring spirituality allows you to discernment it allows you to see things And feel things that you wouldn't if you weren't there what does wisdom do wisdom shows you how to execute all all of those things yeah you know your sensuality allows you to flow right now women live in a time where they know how

to be sexual but they don't know how to be sensual right so when I say that um I'm coming from a selfless woman because I understand the psychology and how men work right and I've always told women make sure you pick up a book on some Learn some stuff about some men and get some men in your life that can school you not just you know the people that you grew up with but some true men you can say okay he's an upright guy so I know my value and what I bring to a man's

life and it's but because it comes in the it's wrapped up in the presence right all of those things that we you named it's a part of who I am so I can't help but say like like you text me something um the other day to send to Someone and I was I was sending it to him but I reread it first and then I I fixed it yeah and I I correct I said okay let me put this and let me add this to it let me and then I sent it cuz you know

how you know you know how men communicate but you also know how men respond exactly yeah so I had said let me fix this and then I send it over and so it's it's a part of being a individual that has no problem kicking in I am the side mirrors you know one of The stories that I often tell is um U as far as showing up and what does that look like with um a relationship I was in he's a um very well-known guy and we used to do business we did great business together

I had to learn on my journey that just because you do good bu business with someone and y'all have the same business energy doesn't mean you should be in a romantic relationship something I had to learn so in this particular relationship we were great Friends we were you know did great business he had to do a book signing one day and um he was nervous but when he get on stage it's like he is he was that dude I'm like you better go ahead and tell these people so he got off stage the moment that

he got off stage it had to be about 5 6,000 people in the room I'm in the in the lobby area and um before he even went in he said um you think we going to sell books I said I got this I said why you think I wore This black dress I said my hair is together I said look at these shoes you bought why you think I told you to go get these shoes he's like the shoes going to do I said watch I said watch me word we about to sell every last

one of these books right so I knew my position so I said you just go up there and you kill them I said you kill them with your words and I'mma get every D out to people chat yeah so he comes out and um he comes and sits he he walks up to me The moment he left that stage and he got to me I saw the 15-year-old boy all over again immediately he said well how did I do I said you did good I said I got you a special pen that's what you going

to sign these books with right cuz I already knew he was nervous yeah and so he said you didn't me to do anything I said I think I need you to sit down and look sexy I said these people getting ready to come out watch me work he had his assistant on one end and another one On the other end and I was in the middle so all I did was have him sit there and when I tell you everybody that walked by they complimented me on my hair my shoes the dress everything to draw

them over and I was very friendly so he sold every last one of those books and I said well honey I said guess what I got he said what you got I said a bag of money yeah he said what and so both of his assistant came to me I said how did you guys do they were like well we did all Right I said give me these books got and so what end up happening is from that experience watching him go from Superman immediately to Clark Kent to be all in his insecurities for me

to say I got this so no you don't just like me because I showed up and I'm pretty no it's oh I'm I'm good for your peace Legacy and your portfolio so right after that um he sent his team home he said I'm gonna put them on a flight he said you want to stay in La extra day I was Like yeah what we going to do he said you want to go shopping I said yes and we went shopping just simply because I was there to make his life better in that moment even it

was a lot of different dynamics that happened I became um the business partner I became the accountant but I also became that soft place to land when he came off that stage yeah and it was like I could just I mean his whole face I'm like how did he just get up here in Front of all of these people but because I understand he functioned in Clark Kent I was able to still respect him in that space and say I got it here here's your speler pen I ordered you with your name on it gotcha

and that's important cuz a lot of times when women when men are vulnerable with women they make the mistake of seeing it as weakness yes and then what happens is you lose his trust yes he'll never be vulnerable with you again yes there's Three things that you get I'm G give you the sauce here ladies all right okay there's three things you have to do continually in a relationship and you did a really good job with doing that one you have to forever be dropping your handkerchief yeah yes what that means is you're telling a

man this is good come please yes okay yes you don't just do that when you meet yes you do that in a bedroom throughout the house in business every Day of your life you're going to have to do that with your man you're going to have to drop handkerchiefs okay to let him know things are good come on over yes all right the second thing is you found gaps every man no matter how successful or unsuccessful he is he has gaps mhm and sometimes he can't see those gaps as you said before you're the rearview

mirrors yeah okay you can look in your rear view and see what's behind you okay But if you can't see what's on the side of you you can never change Lan yes and so your woman is that she's that ability for you to see what's going on on the side of you you got to find those gaps the other thing that's really important I'm not going to give them all the sauce okay is you have to create peace for a man cuz a man is a man is always driven towards you know ambition which is

going to create some level of chaos yes and as This chaos is being created you're going to be the soft landing spot for him so when he's that boy coming off the stage and being vulnerable he needs to know that you can bring him that peace yes and if you can bring him those PE that piece and drop that handkerchief and find those gaps that is just three ways that you can show a man and you did that in just one instant ah very good observation good very good observation doctor indeed Indeed now so how

do women become better at vetting not vetting men now the reason why I'm asking you this is because there seems to be zero to little accountability on the actual experience that many women are having you know when we're on the on tour we constantly hear women saying there's no men to date here or the men that I have dated they weren't worth dating and it's so in life for me it's so important to first look in the mirror and understand What is my level of accountability because I'm a law of attraction person yes if I'm

getting what I'm getting it's because of what I'm putting out that's how I always see things so if business isn't going well I ask myself how are you showing up yeah how do you feel on the inside mhm and so can you give us a little bit of you know some tips on what women can do to better vet men so that they don't then have these horrible experiences end up in these marriages That they're not supposed to be in and then as a result of that they're traumatized and then they take that trauma into

the next relationship well the number one thing women can do to be better at vetting it's not a strategy it's what they really don't want to do gotcha get connected to their femininity their spirituality their sensuality um and their wisdom these four components ladies this is the secret sauce yeah because these four Things allows you to see and have Insight very quickly like I I can see through the the BS pretty quick and if I just decide to play over there because I want to play it ain't because I didn't know I see it and

just decided okay let me let me let me play with this a little bit yeah you know cuz I'm bored that was the old version of me y'all that was the old version of me but that's what I used to do it's like once you understand those four Components that it's hard for a man to run game on you when you have those four components secondly is once you get those four components you got to know what your core needs are one of the things I get asked all the time is Miss April what questions

do you ask on the first date I said I ain't telling you I said I'm not telling you because these are my core things I know what I need and who I am so y'all go get these list off of the internet and you asking these Random questions questions and they guys might be answering them correctly but there's a um unfulfillment that you have because you have not gotten to know you so you'll know the proper questions to ask that are in alignment with what you want got you and I believe if women really tapped

into that those four components and finding the core needs and typically your core needs your list of things typically isn't maybe about four or five Things when you get in connection with those four other components your core needs typically typically aren't a lot yeah uh your list of wants is a lot but your core stuff and how do you get to that core stuff one way is to look at the things you did not get in a relationship previously and what things you used to complain about gotta you'll start learning what your standards and your

value is if you go back through your past and look at the things that Really made you angry or made you felt like you weren't unwanted or didn't feel valued those things that's how you start finding your value and what you your standards got you got you cuz I always say this also there are things that are negotiable and non-negotiable yes and you need to know what your non-negotiables are yes your negotiables don't even worry about those they're negotiable MH but you're non-negotiables Those are the things that you really need to be focused on because

say for instance if if in a relationship sex is very important and you meet a man and he has diabetes and he has has problems with erectile dysfunction then you know that that's going to be a problem but he a good man Dr Bobby no now here's I will say this as Devil's Advocate a lot of women step over a lot of good men you know to get after the men who is not going to be any good for them in the end Anyway and so what what I always tell people is again non-negotiable is

negotiable is it is it non-negotiable for you to help him recover his health if you say I can help this man recover his health and if he's willing to do that then not then why not you know uh because that's something that can change yes you understand now this man is on his deathbed then there ain't nothing you could do for this man you're not a doctor you're not he can't you can't he Can't take none of your detox well he could do the detox if you know Dr Bobby but the the point I'm trying

to say is if you have that nurturing in you to say yes hey I think I can help this man his diet is very poor he doesn't take care of himself I love him enough at this point to say let's do this together and he's willing to do it let's take a a try at it but I think it's really important to know what those non-negotiables are because if you're Not willing to do that walk away yes yes I I believe that a lot of women are holding out for this guy this this imaginary guy

six foot six figure and six pack honey you know I I I tell him all the time y'all women stay in my DMs ask me to hook them up with Bobby right and I'm like I you ain't sis I don't know I don't know I don't know if you ready for that ready for that because of because of their perception you know of you know Oh my God Miss say he looks like you know he Listen to Sound bowls and he put his feet in the grass and he be grounding I'm like he do that

but it's he do some other stuff too so so and I believe women get caught up in this fantasy of what something looks like and this what happens is why they don't vet properly because you you like the aesthetic and you want it to be what you want it to be versus what it really is and I be like girl all right I said Bobby don't play yeah this it's like you know you know an example I give give my friends I tell them I was like all right so you like a man that can

protect you uh right you're like a man that got some hands on him just in case something happens yeah well you gotta understand it took something for him to be able to get them hands on him yes all right so you that's the kind of man you got you got a warrior yes are you cool at having a warrior that don't mean he Going to disrespect you hit you or anything like that but like the Rope is short yes you know so like he's in protection mode that means that you ain't going to be able

to be gyrating in naked on the internet that's part of the protection yes you see what I'm saying so like a lot of a lot of people don't understand what comes with what they're asking for yes they don't look at the other side it's like it's all of the warm and fuzzy stuff but for everything That you want in a man like you said it took something for him to get that so you got to be you got to be ready for what you're asking for which is why it's imperative for women to even if

they are single to have um really solid masculine men in their life so they can know what that looks like even going out with you and we go out and eat and stuff or hang out it's a look that you get it's like I already know okay yeah he he ain't he Ain't playing it's a look and it's like it's not that you're not the man that I know I just know that look and it's like okay yeah yeah I'm going just sit back I'm going let him handle that us I ain't in that but

I don't and I think sometimes when women are not around men that really function in all of their man yeah it can be like oh my God that was too much no that he too extra he too extra it's like no the other parts that you like it took this Over here for him to be this way I remember going out I think I told you about the date I went on with the guy um and I got a little nervous um he he's like 6' six and he was just fine all the women was

looking at him in the restaurant when we walked in right but I did I had didn't know he was so intense so when we get to the restaurant the lady said do you have a reservation he said no do we need one it was like his whole face and Everything was just like in her face he was just that guy and so I'm sitting there and I'm watching his present he can do this face thing that he does and it can be very intimidating to people and so everybody was walking around they was kind of

scared of him a little bit but then what was funny was was when we sat down at the table he turned into a teddy bear he texted me from across the table and said you're so sexy I'm like but he couldn't tell me that but in Front of all these people you Rah and so it's that's what I mean by that knowing that you got this part but you going to deal with something over here too and you're his safe space yes yeah are women are women prepared for a man who's walking in his Divine

masculinity evolved and emotionally intelligent no why do you say that because women aren't connected to their femininity their spirituality their Sensuality and their wisdom yeah if you're not connected to those things and you don't have men around you all the time on a regular basis that walk in that same energy that you say you wanted a man how can you receive it yeah you're not functioning in it you're not practicing in it you're not operating in the divine feminine so much that it's become your lifestyle so here's the thing when you walk in that girl

energy you crave masculine leadership yeah you Need it it's not like you view it as um you being uh controlled no when you really operate in your divine feminine you're very Whimsical I tell you all the time I'm I'm Peter Pan no I tell you I'm I'm the fairy I'm a little butterfly I'm just the lady that I have to have I have to be real in be like what you doing today ah you be like what you doing oh I'm just going over here I'm doing this I'm doing that we can't be in that

energy all the time yeah so true Femininity craves masculine containment and vice versa we need it so we we can't we can't push against that cuz child if you wanted women in be in their femininity all the time nothing would get done yeah cuz we just floaty and la la la la la we like the lady on The Summer's Eve commercial on the beach with our little white dresses and oh what H what what day is it yeah I like the the video your the memes that you're seeing going around of girls saying Whenever I'm

with my boyfriend my masculine boyfriend I'm dumb as hell and I don't know what's going on I don't know the plans are floating that's what we do so femininity isn't a bad thing femininity it doesn't mean you're a doormat it doesn't mean you have to um acques all the time because we have in-depth conversations where we agree and we disagree you know often but it's not like it's a we've never had a argument like because I respect your Your opinion and I I value your opinion as well too so and it's just like that with

any woman I date is going to be I'm looking for your opinion I don't want somebody I can run over I don't want somebody who's dumb somebody who's not going to show up for me somebody I can't confide into somebody I can't come to and say baby what do you think about this right right and I think that's probably why we've never had an argument cuz I value what you what you say and I Was like you you'll say wait wait wait just listen just listen I'm that's exactly how you are too so I believe

that when you can have dialogue you know and have conversation versus everybody's trying to get their point you know everybody's listening to respond versus to actually hear what's being said and I I just I hope men and women can get it together because we definitely need each other and I tell my ladies be Honest say you want a husband it be so hard for him to say I said say it just just say it say you want a husband don't put a comment in it I desire a husband period they do I desire husband but

miss I'm not dealing with I didn't say that I didn't say that I said because when you put that comment in there and you go on this tangent I want a husband is four words after that comma you done put 72 words that's your dominant yeah so let's not do that let it's okay because women Have been taught that if they say they want and need a man in their life we're taught that is being desperate and it's just because you want and need something don't mean you going to take whatever one comes your way

you still got a vetted to make sure it's in alignment with the lifestyle that you want and and that's that's a big thing um as well that I believe everybody's all all caught up in this he got to make six figures I'm not um like I said we don't Do broke but I look at it more so as a lifestyle yeah you know does this person want to live the same lifestyle or live the same lifestyle that I do yeah I look at it from more that perspective than than anything else and I think that's

the the bigger thing cuz say you have you're a woman making $250,000 and it's man's making $150,000 yall still in the same tax bracket yeah for the most part and that whatever your needs are like can be met With that yeah so it's like and most of your ones yeah it's like so I'm looking at more so lifestyle and also um lifestyle sometimes people may not know what they what they need until you come into their life and they adapt adopt excuse me they adopt well actually this is better for me yeah you know I

might not have come to that realization on my own but women as women I believe we got to stop making the decision within our Brains that y'all know everything right now fellas I love yall I really do but y'all be simple sign and I believe as women we give y'all way too much credit than we should in the romance area most men ladies don't know romance no and it's like well he needs to plan a romantic most men aren't not romantic we house the romance like you I remember you said one day you plan the

most the most sexiest dates even if it's something that I'm doing for by myself Yeah I'll be looking at it like damn let me copy this I got a whole note in my iPhone stuff you send me I'm like what let me put that in there and I believe women don't understand that a lot of the things that we want you all to do you get through us the tender man that you want the man that's romantic and all of these things that we have that we desire they learn those things through the women that

came before them yeah I believe that if you Find somebody that meets your core needs and say he's lacking in the romance area you become romance you be the romance and then you you guide him into that now he ain't gonna get it right for the first several times understand that he not goingon to get it right you tell him you like yellow roses all you gonna get is yellow roses until you tell them you like Peach roses that's when it's going to change but I believe sometimes well most of the times we as women

give y'all More power when it comes to knowing certain stuff that you don't know and we think you should know it and it's like girl he don't know that is he good to you yeah he take care of you and y'all good yeah but Miss April he not romantic and he don't plan the best dates I said do he give you his credit card yeah you plan it and you take his credit card and you pay for it yeah 100% And then you drop little hints oh honey it it was amaz that that date was

amazing that you Planned well Miss April I planned it I know that yeah I know you planned it but you're dropping a seat honey that I had such an amazing time with you last night I love when you plan stuff like this well baby you but no you paid for it I love when it it's you makes you so much more sexier to me so it's learning I'm actually getting ready to teach a course all about feminine language is learning how to say these things but women be like why I gotta say it like that

why I Gotta do all that I'm like you don't you don't yeah but that's why you got what you got or you don't have what you want exactly now I I can't get out of here without I got to tap into the fellas too what's that a lot of men are making a lot of very poor decisions when it comes to women as well too yes so it's not just the women okay so it's the fellas too they're they're choosing women who don't love them who don't truly want to be With them and whenever they

leave they get upset and I believe one of the most important decisions that a man will ever make in his life is the woman he chooses to spend his life with cuz she's a she's not only a representation of him but she's a reflection of all his values but today I'm looking like you know you got a situation with I won't say names you got a singer who last year people were Tearing him up on the Internet because he was emotional about his divorce and losing his wife and losing his kids and crying on the

internet because he was heartbroken and most people tore him up went in on him and now all of a sudden you look and you see that you know his ex-wife is saying like you know I I probably should have made a different decision if I could think about it now or probably would have stayed with my husband and I hear this a lot from women Like I I should have stayed with my my last guy he it was much better than what's out here in these streets ain't nothing in the streets girls yeah and then

you're I'm starting to look at the Young generation too like there's an NBA player I think he got a porn star pregnant yeah you know another NBA player gets this girl who's also wellknown pregnant doesn't love or care about him like that they break it off he ends up Getting married a year later a year or two later and it looks like he's in a very similar situation and so a lot of men are making a lot of bad decisions when it comes to the women that they're choosing because they're not properly vetting so what

advice do you have for men you know in terms of like what are some of those signs that they should pay attention to and they can recognize when a woman really isn't into you because what I Find is is that a a woman will marry a good dude and later on find out a good dude isn't enough for her and then leave him and and take the kids take the resources and leave him heartbroken well I'll tell the men just the same thing I tell the women there's nothing that you can do to look for

or things that you can look for until you make an identity switch so I can give you all kind a list of all kind of things make Sure she does this and if she does this then don't do that I can give you a whole list of that but it doesn't count if you have not made a mental identity switch within yourself because what we see and like I said we have a division of the company called the feminine ear and I work with a lot of C celebrity men and one of the hardest things

that we have to do the challenges is getting them to understand I'm like baby look the last five women you showed me They're all the same in a different body yeah why do you keep choosing them and so I can typically figure it out rather quickly um but I want them to try to you know figure it out and I'm like everybody's the same I I said why you got a cap cap save them Spirit on you why you why do you feel the need what let's talk about what happened let's talk about you know

your past what was your relationship like with your mother and a lot of those guys also have What I Call ar rested development they're used to only paying yeah they don't get with women that challenge them emotionally intellectually to rise higher because all they got to do is buy a Birkin bag a G wagon you know take on a trip that's it so when you surround yourself with people like that you can't expect to really find a good relationship and you really can't complain about what you're getting because you're the common Denominator I just go

harder on women because I understand the girl power that we have but the men are doing the same thing that the women are doing and complaining every man that complains about women oh they being gold diggers and all of this stuff yeah stay in your lane yep typically not leading with your resources you're leading with your resources and you're leading put your resources to a demographic of women that your resources aren't enough yeah and Then you complain bro stay in your lane if you are a j um what do you call it a Walmart dude

stay at Walmart yeah if you J C penni your Macy's your dealers your sacks or stay in your lane yeah and I believe people would not have so many issues and having these negative conversations about what others people's want other people want if they stayed in their Lane it's just like the single mothers that say you know it's it's not fair that men don't want single mothers Well go there's a demographic of men that are okay with you have cheer y go over there with them yeah you know and so I just believe that until

we make a mental shift we got to change the motherboard we got to figure out how did we get here because there's no real advice I can give a man on what to look for when his motherboard hasn't changed so we totally have to reprogram that agree with that 100% you know cuz anything that I tell you it's just like When I would share with women one of the things that caused me to retire m is the fact that women wanted to take what I taught as strategy yeah it worked to attract but it doesn't

work to maintain yeah so now it's like wait a minute Miss April now what do I do what you mean if you would if you would have become the thing that you're trying to sell this man on you would know what to do y and it's the same thing acting yeah it's acting it's performance and it's the Same thing with the men it's like if you want a woman that don't want you more wants you more for just what you have yes get over it fellas women like men with resources sure doesn't matter where you

come from H provision and feeling secure yes it's what it is all of this women don't love us unconditionally no we don't love you unconditionally and and we don't love you uncondition exactly so the thing is find somebody within your your your tax bracket and be Okay with that but when you lead with what you have like I said I'm around quite a few successful men including yourself not one time have you ever LED with we I don't even we don't even really talk about resources unless we we having this business power out yeah other

than that I wouldn't have known all of this other stuff because our relationship wasn't built on that so I believe that a lot of times people lead with what they think they're value Is and some a lot of times you hear men say well I gave her everything and she she's still not happy and she still left and I always asked them did you give her what she needed did you ever ask what she needed sometimes it's not just the money yes we want you to be able to protect and provide absolutely but it's not

just that yeah you know because if it was just that it's easy you know for a woman to just go get those things because we can get it for ourselves yeah What else do you have other than they say they be having they be throwing it down in the bedroom that's what they say okay but that that is important yeah it's important it's important however if you ain't got no sense it's like what did I just lay down with a dummy I don't know cuz I be seeing a lot of women can't let go that

toxic eggplant yes and that's the thing it's only the eggplant it's like you're not getting anything else you know but The fact the funny thing is they always say the toxic man has the best sex I'm like yeah cuz I ain't got nothing else to do but perfected they not out here working they not out here doing all of the stuff that you say you want and now you hooked on a man that you have an emotional connection to that can't give you the lifestyle that you want yeah and you hooked on that but yet

and you're going to try to make him become this other guy and that's what the men do That I coach yeah they bring me women and I've gone to several dinner parties Miss I want you to meet her I want you to give me your assessment I'll go in the room and then they'll look at me after about maybe 30 minutes an hour what you think I'll be like a you ain't it that a for what you told me you wanted in our sessions baby girl is not it but you got to listen yeah you

have to Be willing to listen to that but everybody has their own thing I just believe that identity switching is required if once people get to the understanding that they're their own issue yeah believe that's when we will see a change instead of blaming everybody else but where these men at Miss April they're not checking for you because your your antenna of is not up your your switched um identity isn't up so there's a lot of great men out there But you won't be able to they won't be able to see you yeah because you're

on the wrong frequency yeah for sure before we get out of here tell people how they can stay connected with you and also tell them about identity switch that you've been talking about this whole in oh yes yes yes so you can can always find me on Instagram under Miss April Mason or our website April mason.com but identity switch is a book that after I retired and what caused me to retire is Because I realized April all the information that you're giving people may have a hard time receiving it because they haven't made an identity

switch it within themselves first so I paused all of the other um love stuff because in order to receive you got to change the motherboard so identity switch becoming the one who gets what she wants bestseller on Amon you can listen to it on Audible The fellas listen to it a lot too like Miss April what you teaching I know you're teaching the women but when you teach the women that's the kind of woman that I want so it let me feel make me feel like I need to become a type of man that that

kind of woman so the fellas are loving the book um and and as you say uh men are just more used to being coached yes women are more used to being coddled yes so men grew up in sports and having men mentors and so they're used to getting the coaching so that's probably Why they show up for you like that the fellas definitely show up the ones that want to be evolved now you know that's a whole de another demographic of the males but I'm talking to the ones that say Miss April and they're honest

with themselves I really do want a good woman like who do I need to become in order to get the type of woman that I hear you talking about yeah and I always tell them you got to remember she she wants you to be able to provide but remember That girl she can take care of herself too yeah so what can you bring to her life that money can't buy absolutely absolutely so so that's why we came up with the book and I just believe if people made an identity switch they'll stop playing yeah with

themselves and others yeah with themselves and others and girl go get you a husband and quit playing and act like you don't want one go stop playing all right got you now but I man one of my goals in life is I Believe love is medicine I do too and I want to see us come together I want to see beautiful relationships the woman find the man of her dreams and the man find the man of her dream his dreams and um so I'm going to give you this question if you rule the world how

would you heal our relationships and love in our community it goes back to what I just said I would help as many people as I can make that mental identity switch so That they know that they're deser in they're worthy and what's out there that they're looking for is actually looking for them too yeah that's what I would say gotcha gotcha gotcha I love that thank you so much for joining us with this session this has been an amazing conversation that we had today I hope your heart is filled with love and I hope your

mind is filled with more understanding and wisdom so that you can find the love not only in relationships Outside of yourself but the relationship with yourself until the next time peace and and blessings and God's speed [Music]