hey look it's me on stage doing stand-up wouldn't that be so fun to go to well you're in luck i'm going on tour this summer and tickets are available right now so click the description and i'll see you there enjoy the video folks i am wearing hat today because i just uh shampooed my hair for the first time uh ever and it's so that big so i gotta okay keep it in here uh welcome back to another installment of jeez canada's a little different from america isn't it i've talked about a bunch of weird canadian
tv shows over the years but i realized that i've never talked about the things that play in between the tv shows and i think that's the best part personally i can't watch anything on netflix these days there's just no commercials and it's annoying you expect me to pause riverdale every 15 minutes and then pull up some newspaper ads just so i can get my fix and then rinse and repeat that's weird i don't know how much longer i can do that netflix i can't read i'm joking obviously for the most part commercials are stupid and
bad and annoying but you know there's been some good ones i'll admit it i remember there was that one little caesars commercial where it like advertises a new pizza and then it cuts to a shot of an audience going one more time and then they just play the exact same ad over again that's still the funniest commercial i've ever seen that is genius also dude when i was a kid i fell for commercials hook line and sinker straight up if there was just a spiky-haired kid advertising a literal hook line and sinker i'd ask my
parents for it for christmas you know when you're at the movies and you're watching trailers and there's that little bit of silence in between each trailer and then you turn to your friend like i gotta see that that looks pretty good that was me but with commercials after every like bionicle commercial i'd like turn to my mom and be like hey if you don't buy me that i'm gonna start screaming dude i remember asking my mom for a fushiki you guys remember that [ __ ] fushigi ball that [ __ ] like weird silver ball
that sort of like you just moved around with your hands remember that [ __ ] no strings no tricks magic maybe don't say maybe magic maybe we actually don't know what these are and we're [ __ ] scared somebody please explain these okay you know what leave a comment let me know if you want me to make a whole video about the fushigi ball because i i really want to spoiler alert i'm gonna make a video about machine people i remember wanting one of these so bad not because it was a good product it was
just good advertising and believe it or not that's all you really need to sell a product and whether you're aware of it or not commercials really stick with you because that's literally how they're designed but you know when i was a kid i was watching tv you know i would get commercials and stuff but every so often there would be a psa a public service announcement you know it's just like a message from some media company that was like hey uh please don't do drugs or like uh drinking and driving is bad you know just
like indisputable like good messages about being safe and smart and there were a bunch that aired in canada in the early 2000s from this company called cca which said for concern children's advertisers and some of these psas were good but some of them were not so good and no matter how much older i get no matter how much time passes since i've seen these on television they are just burned in my brain so i want to make a video about them and yeah jacob made a video about these last year and a bunch of other
people did as well but no one has the balls to make a video about it this year let's start off with one that uh really hits home for me [Music] yeah uh so a few things number one i said this one like hits close to home for me uh you know because this reminds me a lot of my my childhood you know it was just constantly girls just trying to just kiss me and [ __ ] it was they were trying to steal a kiss sort of you know boris larson style i just stole a
kiss what are you going to do about it it was a nightmare and so is he seriously though this kind low-key kind of happened my first kiss was in third grade one day i was swinging on a swing obviously and this one girl who will remain nameless she got her friend to run over to me to like ambush me she like spun me around a bunch of times in the swing so i was like trapped in like the chains i couldn't really move and then the girl who will remain nameless she [ __ ] ran
over to me while i was trapped and she kissed me all over my face and my lips without my consent i just stole a kiss what are you going to do about it and she wasn't even the girl i had a crush on that's that's the most [ __ ] up part dude felt like i was cheating you know i have bad news rebecca kissed me the other day okay i don't know you also we're 10 why would i care yeah no doubt so there's a hole in that psa's logic right there okay stay fit
doesn't matter how fit you are okay cause i was fit as hell dude i was jacked i was in the best shape of my life in third grade but when it comes down to it when it comes down to the nitty gritty some girl's [ __ ] friend spins you around a bunch of times in a swing you're gonna get smooched so let's not body shame kids for not being fit enough okay commercial from 20 years ago also like seeing this psa as an ugly kid must have sucked you know also please ignore the fact
that i just said uh let's not body shame and then immediately after i said hey wouldn't it suck to have an ugly face you know what i mean though right like watching this psa like does it happen to you guys oh yeah all the time girls just like chase you and kiss you okay yeah literally like every day and they say how ugly you are while they do it the [ __ ] and this is kind of [ __ ] up too because it's like kind of like only geared towards like boys right like young
boys watching this as a girl must have been wild too right like what's the message here stay fit so you can have the upper hand on all the boys you want to chase and kiss that's [ __ ] up is that what girls did i i don't know just run around like [ __ ] cod zombies after school just trying to kiss boys again i don't know what girls did in their spare time aside from spinning boys around on swings and then kissing their helpless little faces believe it or not they uh they use this
premise a few more times there was one that they did where this kid had a sick pokemon card and then the wind blew it away and then he gets all sad and watching this you know hurts even more now right the car wasn't even that expensive when this was filmed but i mean if we're being realistic even if he caught up to the card and he caught up to it when he was on the ground and he picked it up it already lost a lot of its value due to the damage you know i mean
i wouldn't send that card into psa they'd probably just tell you to stay fit get it was psa the card grading company and psa the video we just watched yeah there's a little a little message to you aspiring comedians out there always explain your jokes and then they use this premise for one more psa uh there's a group of kids hanging out and then the ice cream truck drives by they try to catch up to the moving vehicle but they don't because it's a moving vehicle and then we get the classic stay fit because you
never know and again staying fit has nothing to do with that outcome you're telling me the average fit child is supposed to be able to run as fast or faster than a moving car that's ridiculous did usain bolt's parents write this ad usain bolt is really fast also maybe the reason you can't catch up to the ice cream truck is because you're eating too much freaking ice cream oh my god ever think of that take a hint guys if even the ice cream man won't stop to make a sale maybe you're the problem it almost
seems like these kids are trying to like chase the ice cream man out of town one more thing that i find interesting i'm going to show you one more psa that uh compared to these other ones it's very weird [Music] you don't need a media monkey to make healthy choices think for yourself what do you want then because in one psa you go you gotta stay fit this is the type of body you gotta have you gotta be fit as [ __ ] and then the next one you're like don't listen to these people telling
you to have a fit ass body don't matter but like i said before the overall message of those stay fit psas were good it'd be weird to dispute that exercise and staying fit is good for you and they told kids that in a way that they would understand right pokemon cards ice cream cooties but there were some other ones where their messaging got a little convoluted for me anyway which isn't really saying anything because i was i was a [ __ ] idiot but let me show you what i mean it's night time in a
kitchen just like yours all is quiet or is it the north american house hippo is found throughout canada and the eastern united states house hippos are very timid creatures and are rarely seen but they will defend their territory if provoked the favorite foods of the house hippo are chips raisins and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast house hippos sleep about 16 hours a day that looked really real but you knew it couldn't be true didn't you that's why it's good to think about what you're watching on tv and ask questions okay so it's about
like media literacy and you know questioning and thinking critically about the media that you're consuming which is good which is very it's very very important especially nowadays but i gotta say when i was a kid the message of this psa was completely lost on me even though the commercial ends with the narrator being like hey these aren't real dude straight up i thought house hippos were real for years years and i just never saw one and i was pissed off about it straight up even if i were to like ask my parents about house hippos
they'd be like what they're not curtis they're not [ __ ] real deep down i'd be like well what do you know i [ __ ] saw it on tv you know how much are they paying you how much are they paying you to keep quiet about these things huh i literally had like anti-vaxxer fox news brain when i was a kid house hippos aren't real explain that commercial i just saw them dude it literally said at the end of the commercial that they're not real that's fake news that's fake news and you know that
no it's not even news oh so you agree it's not news it's [ __ ] it's it's blasphemy not what i was saying obviously it's not news at all it's a psa yeah exactly and what does psa stand for pretty small animal obviously that's not what it stands for have you ever even seen a house hippo in real life they're not real oh really they're not real then what do you call that oh holy [ __ ] dude is that a hippo yeah it's a hippo in my house therefore a house hippo okay man i
don't know where you got that hippo but it's running away what oh no [Music] [Music] yeah that house hippo ad was like a huge whoosh for me don't get me wrong great idea for a commercial it's very smart but like don't be smart when you're trying to hear a commercial towards children they're [ __ ] stupid kids are so dumb or at least i was i was so dumb prime example i used to watch free willy like every day on vhs and for those of you who've seen free willy on vhs before the movie starts
there's like a recording of a live performance of will you be there by michael jackson it's awesome [ __ ] great song and i remember one day i was watching it with my sister and the performance started and i remember i turned to my sister and i asked hey do you think michael jackson ever gets tired singing that song for us every day idiot dumb [ __ ] kid i straight up thought michael jackson was a little man in my tv doing like a private show for us every day like one day i just put
in the vhs tape and then it would go to an empty stage and some guy would be like yeah band didn't show up today i think we're just gonna play the movie curtis [ __ ] dumb ass dude you think that you think i would understand like irony and nuance in a psa no chance so now that we've covered the ones that didn't work well because i'm not staying fit and also deep down i think i do still believe in house hippos you know maybe the real house hippos were the friends we made along the
way i think now it's time we talk about some psas that did work really well [Music] i am ashtar a robot from planet danger i can put my arm back on you can't still play safe first off it's like it's weird watching this now because like i remember when i first saw it i was like well this is real life this these graphics are incredible they brought a film crew to planet danger that's what's up this grabbed my attention real quick when i was a kid you know because it's like scary and it's like weird
alien planet and the music and all the saws and [ __ ] and this like stern robot woman telling me how it is okay yes ma'am i will play safe i don't know what that means but i will dedicate the rest of my life to figuring that out yeah like i said this one stuck with me like more than any of them because it was like it was scary you know the the creepy scary stuff it sticks with you way more than all the other [ __ ] i watched 13 ghosts when i was like
seven years old i was a changed boy after that movie that bloody naked lady is in my head whenever i turn the lights off what do you mean by that sounds okay you know what i'm trying to say i also wasn't like cosplaying a british person when i said that by calling her like a bloody naked lady she was literally covered in blood and it's the same as like goosebumps movies and episodes of are you afraid of the dark like those are [ __ ] in there they're not going anywhere you know i feel like
there's aren't any like horror movies or shows like geared towards children anymore dude that's what's messed up about today's society we gotta scare kids more you know in like a in like a chill one because at the end of every goosebumps movie there was like a lesson right it's like no matter how scary things can get if you have your friends then anything is everything then it's all good so you know next time you're walking down the street you know you see a kid you know just you're about to walk past the kid hit him
with a quick or maybe not that won't really like teach them anything that'll just like ruin their lives but maybe you could be like illiteracy or maybe you could be like play safe i'm gonna rip your arm off and yeah their parents might yell at you but in the grand scheme of things that's not my problem how about we watch another scary one ever wonder what a bag of crack looks like in the last two years over 5000 people in canada and the us have died from using crack or cocaine do yourself a favor think
about it damn right to the point dude i mean when you're a kid and you see that you don't even know what crack is at that point you're like yeah for sure i'm like i'm not doing that hey i put that as a placeholder in my editing software so i could make a green screen sketch about it later but you know what i think we're good i think we can go our whole lives without seeing a guy's butt that doesn't have a crack like that'd be weird why would i ever show you that no one
needs to see that it's weird i would never show you that and i think this is a big moment for me i i think you know i finally realized that not every joke and premise needs a green screen sketch to go along with it even though i'm this is technically a green screen sketch because i'm i mean i'm using my green screen so don't worry for the rest of the video there aren't going to be any green screen sketches [Music] this works okay this is what we gotta do i also think like the tonal shift
from like watching a fun happy cartoon to this is very effective [Music] you're gonna die you're gonna die tomorrow yeah you might even die tonight if alan takes my shift and there isn't any traffic alan did say he wasn't feeling well and you know it is the friday before a long weekend so things aren't looking too good for tonight but alan does owe me a favor i took his shift a few weeks ago so he owes me one and i could always take the side street so we'll see what happens are you ready kids okay
let's watch one more and uh i think i've saved the best one for last hey you ever thought about taking drugs [Music] i didn't know but i never really thought about it think hard the first it's free but you find me when you need more the choice is yours what do you think nah this joke's not worth the time a message from consume children's advertisers holy [ __ ] dude okay point proven got it always ask to see a guy's eyeballs before you buy drugs off them that was the message if they got normalized they're
a normal guy also i would never buy drugs but i would especially never buy drugs from a guy with such terrible organization and inventory management skills you know like take a little bit of pride in what you do just a handful of like loose drugs and needles like come on man could you imagine if like that's how pharmacists did it too hey i have like a really bad headache what do you what do you suggest for that sorry to hear that buddy uh for headaches i got the perfect remedy first which you want to which
you want to take somewhere oh sorry oh here it is you're gonna take one of these okay okay and hold on i'm not done yet hold on i got the other thing here somewhere oh sorry organization uh ah here it is you're gonna wanna inject one of these into your arm right wait hold on you allergic to peanuts yeah actually i i am okay in that case don't use this needle there's it's just peanut butter in here okay why do you even have that it's my lunch dude relax i ran out of tupperware and the
only thing i had laying around was this old syringe forget it just take nine of these pills like i said before and you're not you said i only have to take one but yeah that's before i knew you hated the taste of peanut butter you know what allergies are i i i like the taste of peanut butter i'm just allergic to it yeah whatever man you know who does like peanut butter who househippos i don't know what those are down the hatch [Music] say something you okay no i'm not okay i'm allergic to peta okay
all in all i think these psas worked well for the time you know these aired before youtube and tick tock existed so like the only content you really had to be mindful of was like television and as time went on i think the need for these types of psas increased but what also increased was the amount of content that young people are consuming so it's sort of a losing battle for these concerned children's advertisers every time i say that i think of like little kids in suits in like an ad agency just [ __ ]
stressed so concerned but seriously there's no way you can make a psa for every single issue a child is gonna face nowadays and especially get them to see it so i think the responsibility lies on all of us we have to be better role models for young people so if you have a kid in your life that looks up to you and trusts you you scare the [ __ ] out of them instill terror into their dumb little heads because that's the only way it's gonna get in there put your baby in front of the
screen do it [Music] okay you're welcome now let's hear a word from today's sponsor this video is sponsored by current folks as technology advances industries usually evolve and adapt over time except banking they refuse to change and banking as a whole is dominated by a bunch of old companies who don't care about their customers current was built to change that they've built everything from the ground up with you in mind and with the most modern technology and security i've always been frustrated with how difficult and how long it takes for me to get my own
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many others in the past hope you check them out because it helps me out a bunch when you guys check out the sponsor so everybody wins man all right back to me alright thank you so much for watching if you enjoyed the video please press that like button because believe it or not one like equals one helpless child that i will rescue from the swing set either press the [ __ ] button i'll leave a comment let me know what you thought of the video let me know if you're canadian if you remember these or
any other ones and also let me know if you want a video about the fushiki ball even though i'm going to make a video about the fushigi bomb you can press subscribe button because as soon as you do you become a valued citizen of curtis town and if you didn't know kurdistan is the best place to live in the world and i'm the mayor so you have to be nice to me it's the law also check the description for the other [ __ ] i do my twitter instagram podcast and come see me on tour
man i'm doing a big tour this summer and i want people to see it thank you for watching i appreciate the support i would stick around but i have to go i think i heard a little house hippo goodbye [Music] you
