Welcome to Venom. That starts out with a spaceship crash landing back onto Earth in Wuhan, China, carrying four unknown space organisms. They actually land in East Malaysia, but Wuhan, China sounds better.
And basically, all Asians look the same. Let's be racist and make that joke. Okay.
The authorities are there for cleanup and to collect the alien samples for the tech millionaire owner of this operation. [ __ ] Indian Elon Musk. When they find one of the astronauts alive, so they try and save him.
But in the ambulance, some goopy [ __ ] launches out of him onto the paramedic lady. The ambulance crashes. She punches a hole through it and walks out.
All poker face and evil looking while self-healing terrible injuries super fast. Then we cut to San Francisco where Eddie Brock is a cutthroat investigative journalist that likes to ask the type of questions that can get him assassinated by the CIA. And his boss wants him to interview Carlton Drke aka Indian Elon Musk over good things cuz Carlton has a lot of money and is paying to get some good PR after this spaceship crash thing disaster.
Eddie hates that guy though and thinks he's a crook, but his boss asks him to do anyway without asking about any Epstein lists or anything. Nice questions only. I'm going to assume he had a valid reason to send in Eddie knowing how he is.
Maybe he was the only one available. Maybe called and asked for him specifically, but let's be real. It's probably cuz movie wants the movie.
Anyway, Eddie agrees and has a hot date with his fianceé that works as a lawyer for a firm that was hired by Carito Drke. And they go home to [ __ ] [ __ ] then sleepy epie. Eddie wakes up in the middle of night to go snack and then sees her laptop just begging him to snoop around in it.
So he does and finds evidence of Carlton Drke doing human testing on vulnerable people and killing them in his pharmaceutical company, which is the thing that got him merch in the first place. So next day when he interviews Carito Drke, he starts off with the YouTube ad friendly questions like, "Didn't you make a cure for cancer? Wow, how'd you get from that to exploring space?
" then hits him with a hard [ __ ] like, "Don't you also do unethical human testing with your drugs that end up killing people? " Even name dropping some of the people that died from that email on his fiance's laptop. So Drke abruptly ends the interview and complains to Eddie's boss, obviously, who asks Eddie for his sources if he's so confident in them.
Eddie obviously doesn't want to say, so he's like, >> "My source is that I made it the [ __ ] up. " >> His boss calls him a dumbass and fires him. Then Ann, his fiance, also gets fired cuz they figured out that Eddie got the information from her.
She in turn also finds out that he snooped around in her laptop and got her fired. So she breaks up with him on the spot and leaves with her [ __ ] Didn't the cup fall out when she dropped her box for dramatic effect? Where is that in the shot?
Doesn't matter. Later, Drke receives three of his aliens cuz one of them got lost according to his knowledge and he immediately starts sissing them. 6 months later, we see him pissing them on animals now, specifically wabbits.
Apparently, they morph into them or get absorbed by them and become part of them to be able to survive Earth's atmosphere because they can't do on their own for very long. Apparently, this process is called symbiosis. And Drke figures that if they're doing that to survive on Earth, then maybe humans can survive in outer space if they symbiosis to humans.
Pretty sure I'm not using that word correctly, but you get it. If the alien bonds to human, he orders his head scientist, big nose girl, to start human trials immediately. She thinks it's too dangerous and too early, but he subtly threatens her to do so.
She goes ahead with it and test symbiosis on some homeless [ __ ] but the symbiote kills him pretty quick. Schno's girl is horrified. Drke's like, "Well, thanks to Fentel, there's plenty more of them.
Keep testing. " Schno gets even more horrified. Meanwhile, Brock hasn't had a real hard time of it ever since the Carito interview.
He's living in a shitty apartment alone, having a hard time finding a job cuz his name has been tarnished and blacklisted. Then one day on his daily routine of saying hi to his favorite homeless person that isn't there and buying [ __ ] from the corner store, he notices that he's being followed by someone and it turns out to be Dr Snow. She gives him her card, tells him she works for Drke and that he was right.
He's experimenting and killing people that don't know any better, signing legal documents, waving their rights willy-nilly cuz they don't know what it means. She doesn't want to go to the cops with this information because she's afraid of what will happen to her. That's why she came to Brock Lesnar.
But he doesn't want anything to do with Drke. So he tells her to leave him alone and walks away over to Anne's place reminiscing or whatever. Then runs into her, tries to get her back, only to find out that she has a new boyfriend who's a surgeon.
So he goes to continue contemplating life on the Golden Gay Bridge or maybe he wants to commit suicide. I don't know. But eventually he decides to call Dr Snow to help her expose IC Carly Drke.
She picks him up and sneaks him into the life foundation which is Drke's lab. And in the car she tells him to get down and hide from security. But inside the facility she just brings him in raw with not even an attempt to hide him as if there's no security cams or anything.
At least try putting him in a box solid snake style or some [ __ ] Push him around in a car, cut a hole through the box so he can take pictures of whatever he wants to do. [ __ ] dumb [ __ ] Whatever. On the way to the main lab, she explains that Drke was scouting for a new planet suitable for human life.
But on the way back, he found some alien come and brought her back to Earth. Explains that their symbiot and that whole shebang and how he's testing them on random humans with no rhyme or reason, just hoping that they achieve symbiosis. I understood the word, but the symbios just keep on the host and they don't know why.
She sends him into the lepy for himself while she keeps security busy. He gets in there and takes a bunch of pictures of some failed test dead humans, more homeless people being tested on, and a dead symbio, I believe, that I cannot show on screen because YouTube easily mistakes that [ __ ] for Gore and Ages takes anything that looks remotely like the top side of a Snickers bar. Then his favorite homeless person who is one of them starts screaming for his help.
He tries to get her out by doing this. >> I I don't know how. >> Yeah, let's randomly finger the keypad of the cell without even thinking.
What a great idea, you monumental [ __ ] brain [ __ ] How could that go wrong? It goes wrong. Calls wrong password or something.
The alarm goes off. Homos goes crazy. So, he resorts to brute force and starts breaking down the glass between them with a fire extinguisher at which point she attacks him and some black goo transfers itself from her to him and she dies.
He's like, "Fuck it. " And makes a run for it. Getting past security with a surprising amount of strength, busting through doors and tearing through fences while running away from them into the woods.
They're chasing him down with buggies, shooting at him. till he disappears from view cuz he climbed up a tree real fast, then somehow was able to make it home undetected. I don't like these two cuts that they made here.
First, the one with him suddenly being up a tree. I don't even see him try to jump onto the tree before the cut. He just instantly teleported up there.
I don't care how fast he can do it. I want to see part of it. And if I can see part of it, then so can the security.
They can't just be like, "Oh, where'd he go? " And the second cut where he just makes it home. How did he jump from tree to tree, find a road, call a cab, stop a car?
I want to know. Anyway, he gets home really hot and hungry and starts eating whatever he can find in his house, then immediately throws it up and gets spooked by his face morphing in the mirror and someone talking in his head. So he calls around to find out where Ann is cuz she's the only one he trusts and finds out she's at a fancy schmancy rich date with her boyfriend.
So he goes over there to show her the proof that he found of Drke's badings. While sweating his balls off and acting all crazy trying to eat whatever he sees but doesn't like any of it cuz it's all dead. So he jumps into the lobster tank to cool off and snack on some live lobsters.
Dr Boyfriend's like something's clearly wrong with this lunatic. Let me help. Takes him to the hospital to do some checks on him in an MRI machine, but its noises make him go crazy and spaz out.
So he turns it off apparently on some more tests that don't include noise and sends him home. Meanwhile, back at the Life Foundation, Drke is super duper angry at the break-in and finds out that the intutor actually took one of his symbiots, which gets him even more mad. So, he tasks some people to find out who he is and retreat it.
Dr Schnoles gets busted obviously by security camera footage. Why are you even still here, you dumb [ __ ] Don't you know exactly how dangerous this [ __ ] is? You should be halfway across the country, but no, [ __ ] that.
Halfway across the world. You should be gone. Aren't you a smart doctor scientist person?
More like dumbass monkey brain wide vagina [ __ ] Anyway, there's more bad news for Drke because the only test subject that was showing promise having bonded with the symbiote and stabilized his condition. no fever, no dying, no nothing is now showing signs of organ failure. Even though they were taking care of him and feeding him properly, the symbio is still killing him from inside and feeding on his organs.
They also find out that high frequency noise from 4 to 6 kHz hurts the symbio. Dr Schne gets brought over to Drke so he can find out who she let into the facility. I struggle to believe that they don't already know from the security footage who the other person that she let in was.
I mean, they know who Eddie Brock is and he wasn't exactly hiding anything, so how do you not [ __ ] It doesn't matter. Drke tricks her into telling him who she let in. then lets the symbiote loose on her so she can be used as a test subject herself and sends his men to go retrieve his symbiote from Eddie who got a call from Ann and Dr Boyfriend telling him that his lab results are back and they state that he has a parasite.
Then after he kindly tells his [ __ ] neighbor to stop playing the guitar solo because it's hurting him and the symbiote. His apartment gets raided by the FBI, I mean Drke's goons. He wants to [ __ ] out and give up, but the symbiote wants to fight and they have this internal dialogue in front of them till the black [ __ ] takes over his body and starts fighting them, morphing parts of his body to be stronger and using them as weapons than shooting goop at them and [ __ ] like that.
Jumps out of the window to escape. More goons come for him. He uses his bike to get away.
They launch kamicazi drones at him while he uses more of his goopy powers to escape, defending himself from those exploding drones by using a car door, the shield that miraculously is unharmed from the explosion afterwards. Similarly, the jeeps following him seem to take a lot of damage in one shot and have zero damage in the next. Then he does a big jump off the rampy San Francisco streets and let's go with the bike like a dumbass, but whatever.
It could be an involuntary reaction. People do that sometimes. The symbiote groups him back to the bike.
Drke is watching all this happen. He's amazed like, "Oh my god, look, it's symbiosis. " Oh, [ __ ] nerd.
By the way, if Drke really wants a symbiote back, why is he risking damaging it by using suicide bomber drones? Is he [ __ ] Whatever. Eddie keeps fighting off the bad guys till finally gets t-boned by one of them, receiving many injuries.
But then the symbiote heals them all, takes over his body, grows into this massive hunky Spider-Man with an inward pass, and bites off the head of one of the bad guys that was tickling his back with a shotgun, then runs away, jumps into the water, and torpedoes over to a buoy. Lets Eddie have his body back, then sticks out of his back in his goopy jizzy form to have a small conversation with him. He's like, "I'm Venom, and there's more of me, and we're here to take over the planet, eat a bunch of heads, and if you cooperate, you might just survive.
" pretty sure the symbiots have to continue eating life stuff to stay alive. He goes on telling him that they are bond and now he's a strong host and he wants to use him to hop into another one of Drke's rockets and go to their planet, bring back a bunch of symbios to take over the planet with him. He also tells him that he knows everything about him because he's inside his head.
But then in the scene after an calls Eddie and Venom says this, who is an >> none of your goddamn business? >> Shouldn't he already know if he's in his head? Also, Brock Lesnar is currently on his way to his old boss's office in the middle of the night to leave the evidence he got of Drke being bad on his desk.
And not only does Venom understand and know why he's doing that because he's inside his head, but not know who Anne is, which is completely contradictory, but he's letting him do this. Why the [ __ ] Why is you not going immediately to the [ __ ] rocket? Whatever.
Eddie tries to get into the building. His old security guard buddy doesn't let him in. Venom wants to eat him, but Brock's like, "No, he's my friend.
" And instead, they climb up the building and Venom gets to see how pretty the earth is from up there. Then they get into his old boss's office and he leaves the phone there with a note and they go back down using the elevator where there are a bunch of cops waiting for him cuz I guess his old friend called the cops on him. Or actually, maybe they were tracking him ever since he bit a guy's head off in the middle of the street.
They turn to Venom form. The cops try to gas him out like the Jews, but that doesn't work cuz he's a [ __ ] super alien. They handily deal with all the cops and Venom tries to eat one of them, but Brock's like, >> "No, we do not eat policemen, >> dude.
I'm pretty sure he killed half of these guys already. The [ __ ] doesn't matter. " Anyway, Annne shows up cuz she was looking for Brock and somehow knew to come look from here.
She's scared of Venom, but then Eddie reveals himself like, "It's me. I've been infected. Please help me.
" Looking all tatty with torn up clothes and [ __ ] You could really use a new shirt or something. You know where you can get it from? My merch store where you can also get some funny merch yourself.
I got High Boy Mona Lisa merch, stupid ratings merch, and much more. Link in the description. Now back to movie.
She drives him over to the hospital. On the way, she says he needs to do another MRI, but Venom's like, "No, high frequency noise and fire hurts. " Then tells Eddie to apologize to her for what he did cuz he might not get another chance.
So he does that and she realized that someone's talking to him inside his head. They get to the hospital. Dr Boyfriend's waiting for him in the MRI room, telling him that they have more detailed test results showing that his heart is getting really [ __ ] by that parasite.
Venom keeps talking to him and his head think that he can fix it while Dr Boyfriend's talking about getting the parasite out of him. Then Venom attacks the doctor, so in order to protect them both and turns on the MRI machine, Eddie starts passing out and [ __ ] Venom out of its chest. Doctor locks the door and traps Venom in there.
Eddie's like, "You were killing me. What happened to we, [ __ ] What happened to we now? You're the one that's dying, asshole.
" Then leaves cuz he doesn't want to be near Venom. And while Ann and the Doc are discussing what to do next, Venom escapes through the vents, finds a doggy, refuses to it, and sees Rick's goons show up and ts Eddie to take him away to their lab. Because after the symbiote killed Dr Schno's, it died too cuz it couldn't survive Earth's atmosphere alone.
And none of the scientists noticed it was dying. So he ordered Eddie to be brought back alive so they could study. How come he is not dead after he achieves symbiosis?
Then he himself got possessed by a symbiote cuz the one that went into the Asian [ __ ] from the start of the film went around eating livea eels, killing people, jumping from host to host to host, took a flight to America, and came here to bond with Drke and apparently took Riot six [ __ ] months to get here. Maybe because he's an alien, he doesn't know that planes exist and [ __ ] like that. Actually, he was inside the brain of an astronaut and a paramedic.
Pretty sure they both knew what you know. I'm not over analyzing this. [ __ ] this.
Eddie is now in the possession of Drke who's asking him where Venom is doing a short evil monologue like humans are bad. We just take take blah blah blah. I'm going to make a better version of us that's human and symbiote.
then showing him he's got a symbiote up his ass too named Riot. They figured that Venom is not with him. So instead of fighting his head off or killing him on the spot, they do the classic bad guy trope of letting his goons take him out to the woods and kill him in a really slow and stupid way to allow him a chance to escape, which is exactly what happens cuz in the woods while Eddie's getting in his final few words, Venom keeps yinking away the bad guys one by one until he gets to the main henchman leader bald guy and bites his head off while using Annne as a host.
Then she French kisses Eddie while Venom transfers back to him. Eddie's like, "Damn, I love goth girls. " Then Venom tells him that they have to go stop Riot who's about to get onto a rocket, fly off, and bring back more symbios to take over Earth.
Eddie's confused cuz he thought Venom wanted to do that too. But then Venom tells him that he changes mind cuz he likes Earth now and on his planet he's a loser. And here Eddie's a loser, but together they can be something more.
Plus Eddie's just so nice that he himself made him change his mind. So they go off to stop Drke and Riot, who by the way had a short conversation before saying this. >> But first, we must retrieve him.
>> I can take care of that. >> I have multiple questions here. First, how's immediately jumping into a rocket taking care of it?
Second, why does Riot want Venom so bad anyway? Is it cuz he knows that he might stop them? Third, how did Vinn know that Riot was here and about to get onto a rocket?
Was he in the vents or something while Drke was interrogating Eddie? Can he sense that Riot is nearby and about to enact his evil plan or some [ __ ] Doesn't matter. Drke and Riot start prepping for the rocket with his scientists in mission control who all feel like they shouldn't be doing this.
One of them even tries to stop him, but Riot senses that and kills him and kills all other people in the room doing a move similar to the Optimus Prime meme. They start the launch timer, then go off to get in the rocket. Venom's there with Eddie, who asks if they have a chance against him.
Venom's like, "He's got [ __ ] you've never seen. How's that possible if you can just morph into whatever he morphs into? I don't get it.
Just say he's stronger, you [ __ ] nobbit. Anyway, they intercept Riot and start fighting each other, morphing into all kinds of [ __ ] Riot rips Venom off Eddie, but Eddie jumps back to him and we get this cool shot of both the humans fighting each other while the symbios are fighting each other at the same time until they all join into a twoerson two symbiote abomination that Riot controls. He tries to get into the rocket, but then Anne plays some really loud noise to the rocket platform sound system or whatever cuz she ran over to mission control to help Venom and Eddie.
They all end up falling and disconnecting. The humans fight each other on the platform down there. Drke gets the ride first and stabs Eddie in the chest with a big spike, then jumps up to the rocket and gets in.
But then Venom gets to Eddie, heals him, and they use that spike to tear open the rocket while it takes off so it can explode, killing Riot and Drke on the inside while Venom tries to sacrifice himself and protect Eddie from the fire and the fall by morphing into a parachute. By the way, rockets taking off are super [ __ ] loud. So, how did that not affect either symbio?
Doesn't matter. Venom lives after that, but Eddie keeps it a secret from Anne. His life gets better with Jobs and interviews coming his way.
And after an obligatory Stanley cameo, he makes a deal with Venom to be good guys who only eat bad people. And they eat a bad person who keeps robbing and bullying his favorite convenience store. And as always with Marvel movies, we get an after credit scene, two actually.
One is of Eddie interviewing a locked up nut job Woody Harelson for the sequel. And the second is showing us a couple clips from the Spider-Man to the Spiderverse film, except they're in reverse order for some reason. This movie gets 41 Goblins out of 55 by goons.
