you just lost yourself a customer you think i own this business you think i own ikea i'm a part-time employee halfway through a two-week notice i don't give a i'm telling all my friends not to shop here tell them you think i want five other yous running around the store have them call me i'll tell them you think you hate this place more than me i work here i know the sale ended last week but can i still get a discount do you hear yourself we can't go backwards time marches on you want the sale
from 15 years ago too when's it end diane you want that price you're gonna have to go through the quantum realm with ant-man do you know how much money i spend here more than you should the meatballs ain't that good save your money end my time doesn't matter how much you spend here we don't thank our donors this isn't pbs every time i come here my order gets messed up then stop coming make my day every time you come here your order's messed up sounds like you're making the mistake look inward you're ordering the wrong
i'd like to speak to your manager i'd like to speak to your mother tell her she should be embarrassed she raised someone to act like a baby in public you want to speak to the manager please manager doesn't know what's going on haven't you ever worked anywhere before i know that's not right i used to work here well things change sorry they didn't run it by you first you used to work here well i used to be happy then you walked in can you just check in the back can you just accept we don't have
it the back ain't some magical place what do you think is back there santa's workshop the only thing back there is a clipboard with our schedules and some brownies darcy brought in the website said it was in stock and what do your eyes say sometimes it's wrong the website also has pictures of employees smiling you see that should go yell at your computer instead of me it'll get you the same result nothing this is cheaper at other stores then shop there why are you here we need directions i'll get you some i'll call you an
uber at other stores i don't set the prices i'm a seasonal employee you're working hard or hardly working i'm hardly laughing i'm already at work i don't have time for a second job pretending you're funny why don't you tell me something i don't hear every day like thank you you should open up more registers and who's gonna work them you think i'm the only one ringing you up because i called dibs you want to clone myself you're saying you want to apply well you see we're short-handed where's your resume i can't believe they have you
working thanksgiving i can't believe you're shopping why do you think i'm here it's because of you i have to stand here for 15 hours so you can yell at me instead of your family i work retail i don't even remember what thanksgiving is the customer is always right about what how to piss me off you think you're god because you went shopping you're not infallible susan you're at the mall always right that's why you're on your ninth try hitting the button for credit do you have any coupons for me that's what i ask you we
all have our roles to play well you think you just found a cheat code for the store oh yeah i keep a few 100 offs back here for the smart customers bring your own scan must be free and you must be out of your mind to think you're the first person to say that you're not even the first one today don't worry about the scan i'll type in the product code and charge a double i swear i fake laugh at this job so much i forget how my real one sounds you're open for 10 more
minutes i'll be quick quickly moving to the exit this ain't a basketball game we're not playing to the buzzer you had the choice to hold a bunch of minimum wage workers hostage or go shopping tomorrow you chose wrong get out [Music] what's wrong with me do you work here obviously yes how many people you know wear a name tag recreationally you think i'm behind the counter because i got lost do i work here no i'm just dressed like this because i'm going to the midnight premiere of ikea the movie
