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The Art of Judging People Around You | Robert Greene

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I tell people that don't judge people as far as who are you going to let into your life. Don't be um deceived by the appearances. Don't judge people based on their intelligence, on their charm, on whether they're good or bad, etc.
Judge them on their character, whether they have a weak or a strong character. When I lived in the monastery, the highest quality or character trait that was considered the epitome of internal emotional evolution was humility. And so when you met someone who was humble and you met someone who didn't have false ego, they were considered of high character.
And we were trained in order to understand that. But in the modern world, that isn't how the material world works. We're almost attracted to people who can come off arrogant and showboaty and and even if we sense we don't like that, we still believe that person has power.
And so what are things that we have to look out for? >> Well, also there are people who appear to be humble, but they're not really humble. There's a lot of people now who feain humility because it's seen as a positive trait.
>> Yes. >> So humans are born actors and you have to kind of look behind the mask. So I tell people I I view it as strong or weak character.
A strong character is a person who can take criticism, right? Who can work with other people, right? Who can deal with stressful situations, who can handle responsibility and if there something goes wrong, they take I am to blame for.
They don't look at other people. There's somebody you can rely on. You lean on them and there's something there to lean on.
You can rely on them in situations. A weak character is somebody who cannot take criticism. That is probably the number one characteristic, the worst trait I think in people.
And a definite [clears throat] trait of of negativity is somebody who can't take any kind of criticism, right? They're so defensive. So that means they can get away with anything.
They can say anything they want and there there's just like a wall, a shell around them, right? So the ability in a work situation, in a relationship to um to take criticism and not and be able to use it constructively is an incredibly useful and powerful trait to me that reveals strong character. How people handle stress is a really good sign of their character.
So in a work situation, people are good at faking it and and pretending that they're very strong. But when it gets really stressful and there's a lot of pressure on it, the mask falls off and they reveal that they can't handle it. They're too weak.
They're reacting to everything. They can't get out of the moment. They're so impatient, you know, and fragile.
And so the ability to handle stress shows that somebody has something strong inside of them, right? >> How they handle power, right? So when people are kind of climbing up the ladder in in a group or in a job, they they generally wear they generally try and pretend like they're they're they're with the group.
But once they have power, that all falls off and they become abusive and they feel like they can get away with any things that they couldn't get away with before. They treat people below them miserably, etc. So when people have power, how do they handle it?
Are they responsible? Do they suddenly become somebody different or do they maintain the character that they had beforehand? Right?
What kind of partners do they choose? Do they choose a spouse, a husband, a girlfriend, etc. Somebody that they can push around, somebody that's inferior to them so that they can feel better about themselves?
How do they look when they're playing like a game or they're in outdoor activities or something that has something to do with work? Are they so competitive they have to win at everything even when it's like outside of that kind of environment? You know that those these are kind of traits that help me sort of judge a person's character.
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