The worst kind of creatures on this planet are humans. [music] The moment you are kind but not firm, you'll find yourself surrounded by people who want to exploit you, people who won't respect you, and people who will make you suffer in your life without caring [music] about you. Human relationships are the only thing in life that isn't guaranteed.
And yet, you find the smiling porn standing in the arena wearing a smile on his face in the hope of winning people's love. So, welcome to your complete guide to becoming an assertive person [music] and no longer remaining a smiling porn. The video will go as follows.
First, we'll get to know the smiling porn and give examples of his behaviors. Second, we'll explain these behaviors and uncover their causes. And finally, [music] I'll reveal the cure for this condition so you can be an assertive person.
Who is the smiling porn? The smiling porn is the overly nice person who always seeks people's approval, [music] even if it comes at the expense of his own interest. What drives him is a deeply ingrained tendency [music] in his personality.
And this tendency is defensive. Because it controls him, he ends up displaying behaviors that are all aimed at pleasing those around him and winning their affection. So let me enter with you into the mind of [music] the smiling porn to know the inner reasons that make him behave this way so that I can treat you from within [music] and help you become an assertive person.
There are two main reasons. Chasing people's [music] love and the fear of enmities. These two reasons I will show you now are meaningless and I will make you realize that if you are doing [music] either of them, you are only messing around and wasting your time.
So I ask you to listen to every word I will say to you now and remember it for the rest of your life. Let me start with you with the first reason which is that you want to gain the love of others. If you are a kind person who cannot say no, who does not dare to hurt others and who always loves to do good and be seen as a nice human being, then you will never be able to be assertive.
[music] And for this reason, I will treat you from this problem. So, please listen to what I'm about to say. When you sacrifice your principles [music] and your time to please others and you do something you did not even want to do [music] in the first place, this means you did not act according to your true nature.
It is as if you are lying to yourself [music] and to those with you. Leaving your true nature is called weakness. And what you offer in return has no value because the other person sees you as nothing but [music] a weak person who cannot say no.
And this matter of kindness I spoke about in a previous video about charisma. People do not like pretense, [music] nor do they like someone who lives with them with a fake face. They want you to be straightforward.
So if your friend says to you, "Let's go watch a football match. " and you answer okay while you do not even like football then in this case you become nothing but a fake person and people by their nature do not feel comfortable with fake ones and do not respect them and this is not because others are evil but because this is the nature of humans instinctively we do not respect the weak and we do not want them in our social circle [music] because they weaken us. I will give you an example to understand more about the concept of human nature.
Imagine you have studies or work you must finish and your friend invited you to go out but you do not want to because you have [music] many tasks. Yet he insisted and said come to keep me company. You could not say no.
So you went with him even though you did not want to. That means you sacrificed your time, your studies and maybe even your future just to accompany him. And he does not know that.
And even if he did know, he would not care or feel your sacrifice [music] because as humans we are like this. No one cares about anyone. The point is you went out with him.
At that moment, you will not feel comfortable because you are doing something you do not want to do. Consequently, he will feel your discomfort. And as I said in previous videos, we humans communicate through feelings before words.
That means when you go with your friend and you do not like the situation, even if he is not aware, he will feel it and he will not enjoy your company. So what will happen here? Instead of seeing you as a friend or a person sharing the moment with him, he will see you as a means.
just something he took with him to keep him company, nothing more. And although at the beginning he invited you because he wanted you as a friend, once he found you accompany him without genuine desire, he no longer sees you as a person, but as a means. And in [music] the next times when he wants to go out with someone, you will be the last person he thinks of calling.
And even if he does call you, he will do it while seeing you only as a means, nothing else. Meaning he is simply exploiting you. From all this, I want to deliver to you an important truth.
If you are kind in this way, this is not the way to gain people's love. On the contrary, you must be strong. You must be assertive.
Meaning, the next time you feel you want someone's approval, remember that you should not act as a smiling porn. And do not worry. I will still explain to you the practical practice, just be patient with me.
As for the second reason, it is the fear of enmities. And this is a problem many people suffer from. So I ask you if you are watching me now I want this to be the last day you ever feel this fear because this fear is the most meaningless fear of all.
And this fear has two types. The fear of confrontations and the fear of rejection. Let's start with the first type of fear.
The fear of confrontations. Conflicts between you and people will inevitably come to you. And no matter how much you try to escape them, you will end up facing them one way or another.
Life is very long and full of events. So the idea that peace will prevail between you and everyone you meet does not exist on this planet. Maybe on another planet, I don't know.
But on ours, it's impossible. Therefore, either from the very beginning, you have legs of iron and are ready for any conflict at any time or you will keep running and maneuvering. But in the end, you will fall into situations of conflict and confrontation and you will be exposed and collapse.
At that point, everyone will know that you are weak and have no value among men. As for the fear of rejection, when was the first time you realized that there is no one in this life who can deal with all people in such a way that everyone's opinion of him is positive and everyone loves him. That is impossible.
Rejection is inevitable no matter who you are. There is no such thing as behave in a certain way and you will always be accepted. And even if that existed, being a smiling porn would guarantee you the exact opposite.
Deep down you think that by serving people and constantly complimenting them, you will win them over to your side. But what you are really doing is showing them the low price you have set for yourself and the high price you have set for them. And this is extremely off-putting.
No one will be attracted to someone who has no personality, no opinion, and is afraid of people's rejection. People value what is rare. They value the man who is self-sufficient, who does not care about the opinions of others.
So now that you have understood with me who the smiling porn is, how he thinks, and the reason why he behaves that way, let me move with you to the practical part and give you examples of the behaviors he does and what behaviors you should adopt to become assertive. I could give you examples of his behaviors from now until tomorrow. And we still wouldn't finish.
So we'll settle for the following five. Behavior one, excessive thanking. One time the smiling porn was at a cafe with a colleague.
The waiter brought them two glasses of water on the house. His colleague just smiled and said, "Thanks. appreciate it.
But the smiling porn went overboard. Thank you so much, my dear brother. You really didn't have to.
Thank you. Thank you. May God reward you a thousand times.
And even after taking a sip, he kept showering the waiter with compliments just to look grateful and gain his approval. By the way, excessive thanking, if it means anything, it means you see yourself as too low to deserve such service. So, you overdo the gratitude and praise for the generosity of the other person.
And here's where we need to pause for a moment so I can explain something very important to you. I want to share an idea that I need you to truly believe in. As a person, you must see yourself as someone who deserves good things because you're human.
Basic respect, small favors, kindness, these aren't miracles. They're normal parts of life. When you believe that, your thank you becomes clean and simple.
Just respect, meeting respect. What happens when you overthank? You send a message you don't mean to send.
This is too good for someone like me. You make the other person big and yourself tiny. You buy approval with flattery.
That's why it feels dirty afterwards. So say thanks once, mean it. One honest thank you, that was kind is stronger than five dramatic ones.
And if someone brushes it off with it's nothing, you can finish with still I appreciate it. Then move on. No lingering, no chasing their approval.
Remember the smiling porn, his mistake wasn't gratitude. It was performing gratitude to look worthy. Your goal is different.
Be worthy by default. Then express thanks like a calm person who belongs in good moments. Hold this belief and your whole tone changes.
People feel it without you explaining it. You respect them and you respect yourself. That balance is what makes your thanks land and your presence grow.
Behavior two, putting others interests above his own. Once the smiling porn was waiting for someone to come out of the cafe bathroom. A man came and asked him if there was anyone inside.
Immediately he replied, "Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm not in a hurry.
" He gave up his turn on the spot. Even though the other person hadn't asked for it at all. Why does he do that?
Because he's scared to take up space. He wants to look nice, avoid even a tiny ripple, and buy approval with a small sacrifice. Here's the truth.
Giving your turn isn't kindness when it comes from fear. It's self eraser. You tell the world, "My needs are always second.
" Do that enough times and people start believing you. People respect the space you calmly defend, not the space you surrender. What should he have done?
If asked, anyone inside? Say, "Yeah, someone's in. I'm after them.
" That's it. Neutral tone, no apology, no story. If the guy hints he's in a rush, say, "I'll be quick.
You're after me. " You can smile. You don't move.
Your time matters. Your place in line matters. If you keep giving it away, you won't suddenly become loved.
You just become easy to take from. Remember the core belief from early. You deserve normal good things.
[music] A fair turn is a normal good thing. Keep it without guilt. That quiet firmness will do more for your self-respect and your presence than a thousand nice guy sacrifices.
Behavior three, never saying no. He rarely ever says no. And if he does, he gives 20 free justifications.
Let's take the same scenario as before. If the stranger had come and asked to go in before him, instead of simply saying something like, "Don't worry, I won't be long. " He would instantly take the posture of a porn, apologize, and start throwing out excuse after excuse.
Guys who can't say no aren't being angels. They're just scared of looking difficult, so they keep talking, hoping the other person won't be upset. And the more they talk, the less they're no means.
So, picture this. Friend texts at 6 p. m.
, "Bro, help me move tonight. You're tired. You've got plans.
Whatever. Can't tonight. Saturday works.
" If he tries the guilt card. Come on, it's just boxes. You keep the same line.
Not tonight. You won't believe how fast people accept it when you stop explaining. Work stuff.
Co-orker drops their mess on you. Can you finish this? I'm drowning.
Your old self writes a whole paragraph. Don't try this. No, I'm at capacity.
If they poke, but why? You don't open your calendar like a confession. Just repeat.
Calm. I'm at capacity. What do you think?
Simple enough. Here's the little secret. It's not magic words.
It's your energy. Face relaxed, shoulders normal, voice steady. One clean line, then quiet.
Don't fill the silence. Don't grin to soften it. Don't stack apologies to look nice.
Say less, mean more. Behavior four, constant smiling. He is always smiling.
Not necessarily because he's naturally cheerful, but the moment someone starts talking to him or he begins talking, his face automatically lights up with a smile. And it's not the smile that comes from a genuinely good mood because a good mood shows before any social interaction. Rather, it is the smile of the smiling porn meant only to make you accept him.
A constant smile makes you look harmless, but it also makes you look unsure. It blurs your signals. You could be uncomfortable, annoyed, or just neutral.
And the grin keeps saying, "All good. Do whatever. " That's why folks push past your boundaries without even noticing.
Real smiles show up by themselves. You hear something funny. You feel warmth.
You enjoy the moment. That's a clean smile. The other one is a mask.
Your boss hints you should stay late again. If you keep that big smile, you'll end up saying yes. So, you keep your face calm and say, "Not tonight.
" Maybe a tiny smile at the end, not at the start. The message lands cleaner. Even with friends, your body shares something serious and that automatic smile jumps out.
It makes the moment weird. Better to listen with a normal face than smile when it fits. Warmth at the right time hits harder than a smile glued on.
If you want a tiny trick, here it is. Give yourself two quiet seconds before you smile. Smile because you want to, not because you're scared not to.
Sounds small, but it changes the vibe fast. You won't believe how people respond when your face matches the moment. They feel your present.
They take you seriously without you saying a word. Your smile becomes a gift, not a plea. When you start walking through life with this mentality, and you realize that people are so many and all of them come and go while life keeps bringing others, then you begin to deal with those around you with your full authenticity.
From that point on, whoever wants to accept you can accept you. And whoever wants to reject you can reject you, and it won't matter to you. And the final sentence I want you to hang in your ear says this.
The only rejection you should be terrified of is the rejection of your higher self. And your higher self is the highest and greatest version of you. The version that fears nothing in this life and does whatever it wants.
That version exists and is waiting for you. The choice is yours. Either you merge with it and move forward or you miss the opportunity.
