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In the name of God… today is 19-10-2025, may God help me be genuine and let the words flow in a way that people need to hear — and that I myself need — and not let me drift away from the listener. Today is episode six of the series “Freedom from the Past.” Naturally, since I record many episodes close together, sometimes even in the same day I’d film two or three episodes, so often I don’t get the chance to see people’s reactions — maybe I only saw the reactions after the third episode — and honestly they

shook me. Actually, I felt there was sometimes a kind of exaggeration — yes, exaggeration in praise… and exaggeration in criticism — and both shook me. And honestly before filming this I was thinking — “You know what? Forget all this. Take a break. Maybe skip this whole thing, maybe don’t even finish the series.” Then I reached a point where I said: “No — why? I’ll say what’s on my mind, and whoever wants to exaggerate positively can do so, and whoever wants to exaggerate negatively can also do so.” Honestly, what shook me was the excessive projection… the

over-emphasis in praise. The whole thing is much simpler than that — it’s just someone talking about topics that are occupying his mind. And this book, honestly, is written under the title: “Personal Reflections and Self-Reflections.” It’s neither a therapeutic methodology nor a philosophy nor a system of thought — none of that. So there’s no sanctity in any word I say — really, no sanctity in any word I say. No sanctity… I just say it normally. If a word has no value — disregard it. And at the same time you sometimes find the opposite — some people

also exaggerate in belittling — and you can really tell it’s not coming from the nicest place — I mean, they attack just because someone is talking about the past — like as if the very act of speaking is a threat — and honestly I’ve seen forms of exaggeration — truly — forms of exaggeration related to extremely overstating the emotional impact of listening to the episodes — no. Let’s calm down and listen to the episodes with some stability… The editor is Amin 13 years old — meaning, yes — I know the subject matter is heavy, and

I know that even for me it’s hard sometimes to say these things — but you’re not going to fall apart — you’re not going to unravel — you’re not going to lose yourself… If you listen — and if you feel the episodes are in any way triggering or uncomfortable — just don’t listen. Truly in such case it’s better for you to stop and not continue this journey. I said the same in the book: We are trying to revisit the past with balanced reading — not the dramatic exaggerated mourning and lamenting — nor the extreme denial

of people who imagine they can forget a past that still governs their present lives. So take these words and rise with them — don’t take them downwards — into self-spirals of “oh poor me, the past, the pain…” and “look what life did to us…” — no. Take it with strength — you’re capable. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle — as long as you’ve made it through before — and as long as you can listen now — then you can handle it — you can face old feelings — you can open your vaults and

look into the eyes of your ghosts — you can face them — if something requires meeting a specialist — then of course absolutely — what we’re saying here is never a replacement for professional help — what I’m saying is just reflections — not therapy — not philosophy — nothing more. They’re simply reflections of a person who is used to turning on a camera and speaking. So please — no exaggeration in believing that our whole lives will change because of a series — that doesn’t exist — there’s nothing in this world that can do that —

no book, no series — no person on earth can transform you completely — nor the opposite— that we’ll collapse just by remembering the past — we do not diminish anyone’s pain… but we say: When we revisit the past — we try as much as possible to be less fragile… and you’ve noticed — I joke a lot and lighten the mood — because I know the topics are heavy —but let’s avoid extreme exaggeration… whether in glorifying the series or tearing it down — neither is helpful. We all know God gives each person only what they can

bear. As long as He gave it to us — then we are capable of carrying it. If we were entrusted with it — then this soul was given the capacity to handle it. And we can face it — whether we lean on others, or seek God’s help, or get support from people — eventually we are able to confront it. At least adopt this perspective — at least look at yourself with that gratitude — no, your emotions won’t disintegrate in the end. So what if you cried? What if you remembered a certain memory and felt pain?

So what if you mourned or grieved something you went through in your life? No — treat yourself with appreciation — and don’t always be so fragile that you can’t face your pains, or handle unresolved matters — too fragile to even engage with a video or a book… or if you feel something is triggering for you — then you need to treat yourself as someone strong enough to make a decision to stop the video — really — stop the video. If you feel something isn’t right, step away from what hurts you. Even if iwhat I say

is whatis hurting you . If something is painful for you, step away. Cut it off immediately. no sanctity in any word I say. . Anyway, I need to tell you two words because I’m genuinely overwhelmed. So, we talked earlier about how the past or its pains have four major effects, and we already covered two of them — the effect of abandonment and belonging — or rather the feeling of non-belonging, and the other effect was anger. I think that was the last episode. God knows how people received it or dealt with it, but honestly, it was

a very important episode for me personally, especially on a personal level — because anger is something I struggled with deeply, and honestly, up until now, I still consider it one of the major challenges, and I think a person will spend their lifetime trying to deal with it, grow through it, and cultivate awareness and discipline when it comes to the realm of anger or resentment. Now, I want to talk about something else — and honestly I’m scared to get into it — because I’m going to talk about *fear*. The third impact is fear, and after that

comes shame — and these two are extremely difficult — not just because of their themes, but because honestly, no one is free from them. No one is completely immune — everyone has them to some degree. So, the effects of past pains on fear — and note here: the past doesn’t have to be just about a father or mother. School bullying is part of past pain. Losing a parent is part of past pain. Their separation is part of past pain. Sometimes past pain is a troubled or painful relationship with an older brother or older sister. Sometimes

past pain is an illness, or an accident — something that had emotional weight and impact in my life, and shaped me significantly. One of the things it produces is fear — and here we’re not talking about: “Oh I got scared.” No — we’re talking about a companion, something that stayed with us for a very long time — and is still here. We’re talking about a deeply complex and deeply influential human component — one that shapes a person’s entire path. Honestly, I don’t think there exists a human being — I’ve never read a single autobiography without

finding some kind of relationship with fear. And I believe that so much of human growth, and everything someone reaches in life — success, stability, comfort, love, marriage, parenting, education — so much of it, truly, depends on the nature of your relationship with fear — this deeply human component we can never fully escape. How do you deal with fear? What do you do with it? What are your fears? Where do they come from? Where are they leading you? And how are they governing your current behavior — regardless of what you show externally, regardless of what appears

— fear is our most intimate secret. Our most private truth. Fear is like fasting — no one sees it. It might appear as trembling, dry mouth, or something else, but most of the time, no one knows. You might seem loud, strong-voiced, aggressive — while inside, you’re terrified. I remember someone used to say: “When I get scared, I have to take the stage.” Meaning — I have to look like the dominant one. And by the way — this is very common among Alexandrians: when they argue — someone says: “Don’t let them surround you!” So you have

to take the stage — meaning: shout, attack — make them think you’re not afraid — while inside you’re shaking. So fundamentally — fear is not directly tied to external behavior. Anger often is — but fear isn’t. Sometimes the external behavior is actually compensating for fear — an outward performance of confidence, or distraction, or anger, or aggression. And what’s truly fascinating is Cannon–Bard theory about our brains apply to fear — the *fight or flight* mode. When a person is afraid or threatened — they either flee or attack — and both reactions are rooted in fear. What

happens is stimulation of the amygdala — triggered by fear. So not every fear results in avoidance or withdrawal. That’s why you need to understand that so many of our behaviors are originally rooted in fear. For example, a lot of jealousy is actually fear. Extreme jealousy over a wife, for instance — often comes from fear — insecurities. We now call them “insecurities” — because we don’t like admitting we’re afraid. Insecure — lack of emotional security — insecure attachment — that too is a form of fear. So many of our attempts to prove something to someone —

honestly — so much of our chasing after achievements, titles, successes — our constant rush toward accomplishing things — often has fear at its core. And the main problem with fear is that it’s extremely intimate — it hides so deeply — unlike the others. For example, non-belonging can be spotted — you can see someone is isolated. You can see loneliness. You can see the attempts to connect. Anger — you can see it. But fear — no. Fear often remains hidden. Let me tell you something truly surprising: scroll through your feed, scroll through your videos — so

many videos are in your watch list now because of fear. And so many comments are written out of fear. And so many religious, political, philosophical, and ideological conflicts are just insecurities crashing into each other. All of us — literally all of us — you could say that so many of our days are layered interactions and dynamics with fear — structures of relationships between different selves… and between those selves and their fears. So understanding a person’s fears — or your own fears — is deeply important. But the problem with fear is that it surrounds itself with

barbed wire — made of fear. So we become afraid to even talk about fear. We're afraid to confront our fears — and I'm one of those people. It's extremely hard for me to sit and inventory my fears. Why? Because I'm afraid — because the act of listing my fears is itself one of them. I'm afraid to look at my fear, afraid to see it. I'm afraid to admit it. I even made a full video about "The fear of being myself." And strangely, people have started watching that video again now. They are now summoning it to

the surface and exploring it again. So often the hardest thing isn't just fearing something, it's the recognition of your fears— the act of seeing it. To actually sit down and ask yourself: "What am I afraid of?" and I know this episode — especially with the intro you gave, Emad — will be one people find hard to finish. Why? Because it's tied to the feared thing itself: fear. Fear carries a certain awe — an intimidating presence. Even in the film "Inside Out" when they drew Fear as shaky and timid. But fear itself isn't trembling. We are

the ones who tremble when we look at it. So that portrayal felt off to me. Looking at fear isn't looking at something fragile — it's the sight of our own shaking in its presence. Fear is terrifying. Even as I prepared today I was on edge, wondering what to say about fear and how it will land. Because the effects of the past on fear are structural. They build a companion , a map , a whole architecture of fear. Each room holds certain fears, certain features. We're not talking about a fear that visited once and left. We're

talking about a fear that visited us and shaped our way of being and how we will see the world It gave us a list of fears and methods for coping. So today's principle says — we work with paired rules: one for symptoms, one for healing. 210 00:12:53,770 -->00:12:59,830 Half the session is about the phenomenon — fear itself. How does fear manifest when it starts in the past? First: a sense of insecurity — as a lens through which you see the world. The early fight-or-flight state we developed when we were young. That primal alarm — that

deep dread. It stays with us and becomes part of our perception. It triggered our fight-or-flight response, we either freeze in place, run, or attack the fight-or-flight mechanism — meaning either to fight or fly or freeze — either you freeze in place, or you run away, run very fast, or you attack. Unfortunately, when exposure to these things happens too early, the brain — I think we said this last time — tries to protect us. And when it tries to protect us, it starts treating the world through anticipation, nervous expectancy, and suspicion. It begins to treat the

world as: “Where will the next blow come from? Where will the shock come from?” You know when you’re sitting in a war-torn area… under constant bombing, the slightest movement at the door becomes some kind of incoming strike. That’s how it works. So when we’ve lived early on — in what? In an atmosphere of these fears — they call it, in Alexandrian slang, “a light star,” you know — a “light-starred” person — meaning anything near you triggers a starter reflex, that startle response — like with children — that instant flinch. And we continue operating with that

mechanism — that startle mode… where everything might frighten us, might agitate our fears. And the truth is, many of those fears — we’ve never actually faced even once in real life. I mean I have — I have a long list of so many fears — and I’ve never encountered a single one of them — ever. Yet they wrecked the life inside my head for years. Maybe I encountered some, maybe a glimpse — but the one that governs my life has no weight, no existence — I swear to God, it has no existence. So many of

our fears come from what? From inside. But you say: “Did you face it before?” I’m afraid I’ll fail… afraid I’ll collapse… afraid I’ll fall. And it never happened. I’m afraid of being abandoned — OK, maybe that one happened — but still, it’s this constant “I’m afraid…” afraid, afraid, afraid — of so many things… many of which never actually happened — not once. So if I look at last year — last year, if I take just the fear aspect of it, it was much activated last year, when it didn’t actually happen much in reality. So what

were the fears that governed last year? Many. One, two, three, four, ten. How many of them were real? Two? Three? I swear to God — more than fifty percent of our fears have no relation to reality — but exist inside imagination only. Why? The brain is a criminal — criminal in the sense that it’s one of God’s greatest gifts — and also a burden. Why? Because it wants to protect us — it’s brilliant in protecting us — but in order to protect us — what does it do? It tries to protect us from real threats

by imagining every possible imaginary scenario of threat or danger — so it makes us live a thousand lives — with a thousand fears and a thousand catastrophes — just to protect us from one trivial disaster. That’s the problem of our brain — not just yours. And that’s why the brain operates with a system — a sustainable deception mechanism — a system of ongoing illusion — fears fears fears fears fears — just to protect you from what? From one danger. And so this form — this lens through which we begin to view the world — a

lens of insecurity — a deep sense of insecurity — a profound feeling within us of lack of safety. This constant mode — unfortunately — is one of the most paralyzing systems inside us. I want you to imagine a life without fear — what would happen to you? To be honest: you would die. Why? Because that one real threat — that actual threat — the real one — if we removed your amygdala — metaphorically speaking — you would fall off the balcony — you would die while crossing the street , why? Because otherwise your warning system

would vanish completely — and you’d be risking your life unconsciously. So fear, in the end, is a form of protection. But at the same time, because of its presence and because of the constant process of excessive imagining, rumination, and multiplying catastrophic scenarios — just to protect you from one scenario — it ultimately paralyzes you — restrains you from much action. Remember last time when we said — anger is an active force — whereas fear is a restraining force. What does restraining mean? Binding, disabling. Fear always binds us — from taking action. Fear always invites us

to avoid certain things — invites us not to initiate — not to step forward — not to be ourselves — not to follow our desire. That’s why, by the way — “That is only Satan who frightens [you] of his supporters.”— that’s why Satan operates through fear —“...Shaitan (Satan) threatens you with poverty…” right? That’s how it works — and he commands you… so in the end, the game of fear — is the game of — if you want to stop someone from doing — if you want to muzzle them, limit them, control them — you frighten

them. That's why unfortunately, one of the foolish methods of upbringing is fear.. Scare them — one of the foolish ways of leading people and one of the foolish ways of managing companies and so on Come on, let's scare them, let's scare them — the easiest thing because it's an extremely cheap and very easy tactic — intimidate people and you'll control them — intimidate human beings and you'll dominate them And thus, when our brain frightens us, it restrains — meaning it binds and limits it tightens control over us — so fear is always a restricting process

Unlike anger — anger is a driving force, a moving energy — whereas fear is a restraining force — a crippling energy — anger is fuel fear is brakes — now imagine someone having both that's the problem of the past — pressing the gas and pressing the brakes at the same time — the car won’t move but at the same time consumes fuel excessively the energy is wasted — and at the same time — with no motion so the first thing it creates is a state of crippling insecurity — that restricts human activity — and the

biggest thing it limits in us is the capacity to be ourselves and follow our desire to become who we want — or achieve what we want — so the problem with fear is that it constantly tells our minds that on the way to what you want you will face obstacles and challenges and disasters waiting for you — to devour you — to affect your path somehow so be careful better not move , so fear’s goal is protection — but while achieving that goal it uses a method it uses an extremely dangerous technique — and what

is it? — and remember because we will work on it in healing today also in this series — we’re not separating the illness from the healing — no — People will be left stranded that way — people will keep drowning — so we put the pain and the healing in the same session — so fear’s main tool is avoidance it paralyzes you from what? — from the thing that you’re afraid of — so the first thing is the lack of security — that’s in the first part of what? of the session — number two —

with insecurity — the fears and catastrophes begin to materialize — into a specific form — a form of expected punishment — expected loss — and this is a very serious point the main problem of fear is that it not only paralyzes you from pursuing what you want but when you finally get what you want and finally feel at ease — it convinces you that it can be taken away it will be taken away — it will be removed — and you wonder when — so fear of abandonment comes from this — fear of poverty arises

from this — fear of exposure comes from this — fear of disgrace — fear of losing a job — fear of losing money — fear of losing children's health — fear — fear of divorce — of the collapse of a relationship — all of this is tied to the idea that you have a blessing — and I swear I won’t let you enjoy it — I will keep frightening you that it will be taken — it will be lost you will lose it — so while it’s with you — it poisons your life with it

— constantly imagining — by the way — this happens very very often — when someone is fed up — constantly thinking that life will be fine once you reach that point — and when you reach it — and life begins to be fine — you constantly feel that life might one day stop being fine because you might lose that thing — so before you reach it — you’re miserable because you don’t have it — and after you reach it — you’re miserable because you might lose it — and that’s the trap of fear — that’s

why fear is one of the emotional states that require real management discipline — facing — working through it — not a small amount of work — working on it through faith — yes — by using religious grounding — working on it through psychological awareness — working on it through inspiration from friends through reading — through understanding — work on your fear — fear is not a simple process Explore your fear — through journaling — through writing — so one of the things fear uses — is presenting insecurity as the lens through which you view the

world — then this fear begins to crystallize into a very important fear — which we call fear of loss — that the blessing will be taken from you — so before you achieve it you’re suffering from not having it — and fearing that you may never reach it — and when you finally have it — you’re afraid that you might lose it — so even when you have the blessing, you’re exhausted Check out the video “Poor Child Syndrome” — you are poor — when you go to something and have the blessing, you constantly imagine losing

it — that it will be taken from you that it will fall apart — that you will ruin it somehow — so this is the second part of fear — number three — one of the forms of fear that starts to be very closely linked with old pains, past traumas, and crises — it’s what they call fear of the imposter being exposed — fear of being revealed as a fraud — I’m afraid of what exactly? — of punishment — I’m afraid of the world — I’m afraid of what? that the world has no security —

I’m afraid of a disaster something bad will happen — and I’m afraid that the things I have that are good will be taken from me — and at the same time I’m afraid that the place I’m in — because I don’t deserve it — and this is linked to shame — which we’ll discuss separately — that I don’t deserve it — being exposed, revealed, humiliated — my flaws my incompetence being visible — the lack of courage — I’m not capable enough — my insufficiency — my unfitness for the place I’m occupying — this place in

the world — this place of study this place of money — this place of a certain job — so constantly we’re afraid that we’re less than what? than this place — and afraid that we’re less than this place — seeing that one day we will be exposed — we will be exposed — and when exposed, what will happen — our flaws will be revealed — we will lose this place — Maya Angelo — maybe I told you this sentence more than once — she always said when she was writing a book and she wrote it,

it was great, really — every book you come to write — she would say it — but this is it — this is the book from which they will discover my truth — and they will know that I was tricking them the whole past period — that feeling — they call it imposter syndrome — we will talk about it later separately but at least one of the forms in which fear appears — fear of not being adequate for my place — and being exposed — do you know — fantasies of being dragged, humiliated, stoned, rejected

and being removed from your place because you’re not capable — your truth is revealed — your flaws are exposed — it’s clear — fears chase us all — the fourth fear — and for me among the very heavy fears that have accompanied me — is the feeling of panic, time pressing always running after something — feeling that something is escaping me — do you know FOMO? fear of missing out — do you know it? — no, we’re not talking about the usual FOMO — the high-society FOMO — always running after something, feeling afraid you’ll miss

out — no, we’re far from that that FOMO is for soft people who are afraid of missing something — but for us we are sure that we have already missed something 422 00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:20,880 and we are afraid that we will not reach it so constantly comparing ourselves to those who were with us and they have reached a certain point — I know I’m behind and afraid I won’t reach it — so I constantly have the feeling that I’m late — trying to catch up with the lost time — my shortcomings — I know I’ve

failed a lot, so I try to run to catch the car I missed, the train of marriage the train of work, the train of learning, the train of specialization the train of recommendation from so-and-so, the train of learning with someone, the train of likes, the train of followers — I’m constantly running after something I see that I missed — my fear is not that I missed it or that it will pass me — my fear is I won’t catch it — so my effort is less than what is required to catch it — I know

many people, really, I am on of them — they lived a life feeling that they were behind and they’ve missed a lot, ashamed that they have missed so much — this feeling of missing out keeps them from thinking about anything else, from enjoying anything imagine — they tell you, — they say “enjoy the journey” — I hope it was a journey , for me I am running after the train — I’m like, well, put me on the train first, then tell me to enjoy the journey — you say the nice words, “enjoy the journey” —

the journey is the most important — not the destination — no, sir this idea of “enjoy the journey” is a luxury, it’s far from us — first of all, we’re far from that point there is no journey — the journey passed me as I was running after it — the journey passed me, and you tell me “enjoy what?” — get on the train first, then the enjoyment will follow — "open the window and see the beautiful scenery — don’t let your mind focus on the destination or the station — reaching it distracts you from the

beauty of the trees around you" — honestly sir, I am just afraid of tripping on the stones and gravel as I run after the train — that’s the feeling inside us so what enjoyment of the journey, what enjoyment of the day, while I wake up, run, and pant chasing what I see I’ve missed, trying to catch what I see far ahead — trying to reach the group that moved far from me, that I feel is much ahead of me — I’m talking to these people ! I’m not talking to people chasing the destination and missing

the sweetness of life — I’m talking about those chasing the train — or imagining they’re chasing the train like my cases — imagining they missed so much, and they will never be able to catch up with this group far ahead — we are far — we missed a lot, we missed so much — the fear of missing out is for people who are on the train and afraid they won’t reach on time — but me ?, I’m chasing, running from station to station, and every time I reach the station, I see the train just left

! it just left a moment ago — I’m panting — and very often the train is not even real — it exists only in our minds and the comparisons we make are completely false we don’t even know the rest of their lives so we’re constantly comparing ourselves to people, trains, and journeys we thought we should have been on — and unfortunately, this not only makes us miss the beauty of real life No.. it exhausts us .. missing the beauty is a luxury — if it was just missing the beauty, I’d agree to move on —

but it exhausts — it wears out the soul — people panting humans running in life, panting to catch something that in the end isn’t even there And the closer he gets to it, the more it slips away, because it’s imaginary. So he blames himself even more, and the feeling of being pressed by time grows. Time is running out—too many obligations, not enough hours. When will I have time to do all this? You know those dreams where the exam paper gets taken away too early? Or the dreams where you wonder—will I make it to the bathroom

in time or not? Will I or won’t I? Make it? And when the exam questions come and we’re not ready? These dreams show and expose those places inside us— not panic—but urgency. That breathless state… Run—hurry—quick—quick! There’s barely any time, and the paper will be snatched away. Honestly, we’re living in a present moment where the paper has already been taken— or is being taken right now—and we’re just scrambling to write anything before it’s gone. Barely managing to jot down whatever we can. Maybe some of you have felt that feeling… It’s an awful, nasty feeling—truly terrible. The

feeling that you’re constantly: not enjoying life, not fulfilling a purpose, not even chasing a dream— you’re just trying to prove something to someone… someone you don’t even know. Trying to catch a train you don’t know when it left… or where it’s even going. So you’re not only missing the beauty of life— you’re exhausted from trying to prove … and losing extraordinary opportunities because of this fear. And that’s the more precise… harder… and more mysterious form of fear— that comes from the past. People who are constantly rushing… constantly running— like running in a hamster wheel—living on

autopilot. You know the only thing that breaks that? When life brings you a hardship and says: Look at the truth—what are you chasing? What are you running after? And why? What race are you even in? When, God forbid, you’re hit with a hardship or someone you love suffers— that’s when the truth of things finally appears… and you realize you were running after something meaningless… trying to prove something to someone… when you didn’t need to prove anything at all. All of this comes from fear— from insecurity. Remember the little quartet—four forms of fear? Number one: chronic

insecurity—a lens through which we see the world. Number two: the expectation of punishment or loss— that something might be taken from us at any moment. Number three: the fear of being exposed as inadequate—the imposter being revealed— that we don’t belong, that our flaws will be uncovered. Number four: the fear of time running out— this constant sense of being ambushed by time. These are the forms of fear connected to… trauma, past hurt, bullying, emotional injuries— things stuck inside us from long ago— and that convince us: that we’re not enough… not capable… not worthy of love… not

good enough to be someone others are proud of. These shape our relationship with fear. So why break them down like this? So you can look them in the eye… so you can know you’re not alone in this. Take a breath and stop— my friend, I swear to God there is no train. It’s all a hologram. I swear—the train is an illusion. We’re chasing something that isn’t even real… and even it was exist the people who think they’re on it are not at ease. And the people you compare yourself to— you only see their numerator… not

the denominator—not their struggles— their battles and their pain hidden from you. Comparison is always unfair. Fear feeds on comparison— it thrives on it—especially… this fear of missing out… This fear of time running out and missing the train of life feeds deeply on comparison. That’s why, the first method of dealing with this type specifically, if we're talking about healing, is a very important rule — the best approach to handling panic, fear of missing out, and falling behind is to stop comparing. By your will , you'll keep catching yourself red-handed while comparing — No! I’m not continuing

that thought. You catch your mind immediately — “And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them…” that's it — do not look. We’ve assumed lowering the gaze is only applied to not looking at a man in the street and not looking at a woman — No, no, no — truly that’s not the only meaning — I don’t mean that this is not required ; it is but I mean there’s another form of lowering the gaze also required lowering it away from comparison. Don’t allow the look

that makes you undervalue what you have. Don’t allow the look that makes you constantly accuse yourself of falling short, being late, or missing out. The hardest look that can ruin your entire day — truly — you’ll feel its weight sometimes even more than lustful staring You’ll feel its impact on your heart — the look that makes you feel like your place in life isn’t good enough — that makes you belittle your portion of life — makes you stop being content with it — makes you stop being satisfied with your share of this world. That look

that makes you constantly favor others — and what they have — and what they’ve been given — whether you think they’ve progressed or achieved or whatever — and it makes you minimize what you have. Such a harmful look you’ll feel its impact — its impact before you sleep — its impact in anxiety, in depression, in feeling suffocated by life, in lack of contentment, in ingratitude — that’s how it works. So the first step in dealing with this kind of fear — this subtle and disguised form — is voluntarily stopping comparison. Every time you catch your

mind comparing — stop it. Don’t compare. Sit and work on yourself for two or three weeks — and write daily: “Did I compare today or not? And if I compared — what did I do? Today I compared — I will stop. Comparison stops.” Comparison is — I swear — just like lowering the gaze from lust Comparison does more damage to the heart and soul than lustful glancing — I don’t mean to downplay lust That’s not my point — I’m saying it’s no less harmful Focus on this point — it’s very very important So — how

do we deal with fear? We already said one major step. A very important one at the end — that you stop the comparison process. So what else, my friend? Fear runs on something extremely powerful — avoidance. And it has only one cure, my friend — they tried they attempted — but they didn't find… there is simply NO treatment for fear on Earth except exposure. That’s it. One word: Exposure — repeated exposure to the very thing your fear tells you to avoid. Meaning — the voice of fear says “don’t go” so you go. “But I’m scared

inside…” That’s fine — your muscles are moving willingly — so you go while scared. And we’ve said this a million times — courage is not the absence of fear — they fooled us once — that the brave do not fear No — the brave act while afraid — that's what makes them brave. Every hero who ever confronted a lion was afraid too — don’t think he wasn’t scared — and that his heart was made of stone — that’s not real — that was a story they told us as kids — “He’s fearless” — No —

not at all — he's exactly like you in fear — but he pushed his muscles forward — that’s it Exactly — so he’s just like you in fear — the only difference is that he pushed forward — while I surrender to the voice of fear that calls for avoidance So the only way to be free from fear — fear works like obsessions inside the mind — and the only thing that changes it is behavior. What you choose to do externally — artificially — yes — but stopping avoidance through confronting and repeated gradual exposure — definitely

reduces fear — all forms of fear. This particular fear — We often don’t know how to work with it — “Oh God — what if disaster comes?” How do you get that thought out of your mind? No one can really tell you, we can say “do this or don’t do that” or look at the topic from some detached angle. And okay, let’s examine alternative views — that’s all nice… very nice — but what I mean is: so it doesn’t come back again… this idea — it has only one solution: that you’ve trained in another thing.

And the only way you train… the only environment where you learn to face fear… is in the places where fear restricts you from doing something. " dont say that! " At that moment you HAVE TO speak. even with a trembling voice. "Don’t say that don’t bring this topic up — don’t talk about this.” In that moment — you HAVE to go forward and say it. So you push yourself to speak — even if you rehearse beforehand and even if… you sit practicing like this — performing it — memorizing it — writing… a script of what

you’ll say — and then you go and say it. These confrontations are necessary. Exposure is necessary. Fear tightens its grip through avoidance. “I’m afraid — I’m scared…” I’m afraid of some situation — or rather… I’ went through somthing — and fear rose inside me. So the first instinct fear calls you to is: **escape**. So I escape. So I avoid facing the situation. Then when the situation returns to my mind… I avoid — so I don’t go at all. And by avoiding — my fear grows. The fear grows larger — so I avoid more — so

it grows more… and so on. Fear feeds on avoidance — and nurtures avoidance. Pay attention — this point is very important. There’s a kind of ongoing transaction between fear and avoidance. Fear always calls you to avoid — and if you follow avoidance… your fear becomes bigger. You know that bully kid… who threatened you when you were young? Honestly — I wish I could go grab those kids again. I wish I could go to my younger self… and tell him: those kids were clueless! Those kids were actually really afraid. I know now what they were feeling

in their own homes? Why were you scared of them? Why were you afraid of that kid? I want to tell him: Why were you scared of that boy? He was actually much weaker! If you had just stared back — he’d have panicked! But of course — no one told us that. And honestly — we wouldn’t have known how to do it anyway. That was the best we could have done back then. I’m just joking — so… What happens is simple: he threatens you once — so you avoid him. Then his image in your mind becomes

bigger and bigger… like he’s some huge creature on all fours — like a monster. But in reality — if you hadn’t avoided him once… he wouldn’t have grown to that size in your mind. And that’s why so often — yesterday and the day before and years before… all of us went through things like that… where the image in your mind is terrifying — but when you finally face it… you find yourself thinking: “That? That’s what I was afraid of?” “ Mr. Engineer — come to my office.” And panic hits… catastrophe in the mind… And then

you go… “Yes sir — you asked for me?” And he says: “Oh yes — I just needed this and that.” Oh — so actually that all what you wanted… and something positive even?! So what exactly was happening in my head before that? You know — those “ho ho ho” creatures? Like the ones from Tom & Jerry… running around a boiling pot in circles — they were in my brain. Where did they go? I thought you had a pot ready for me and tribal drums going… Where did all that go? In the end — you just

wanted a document… that didn’t reach you — and you wanted to thank me for my work… on that project. And this happens — so very often. Very often you fear something — especially when… it’s a source of authority — someone who can summon you… or call you in — and immediately the alarm inside you rings… and then you go — only to find it’s the simplest thing imaginable. So you walk out relieved and calm, but at the same time a bit embarrassed, as if someone put sth like what about all that unnecessary suffering I went

through for 3 –4 days until I saw you — the dark nightmares I kept having, the pre-sleep thoughts and the anxiety every morning, and my prayers asking God to get us through it — all that… Where did it go? Nothing? Imagine if you had chosen not to go. Ah, what would the fear have done then? The image in your head would make you avoid it. So by avoiding — that thing that was originally trivial if you had gone wouldn’t have turned into African tribes or people cooking you in a pot. Nothing would’ve happened. He would’ve

just asked you for that Excel file or something Tiny, ridiculous stuff — if you had faced it. It was this small — maybe even smaller. But with avoidance, you allowed the image the catastrophic one in your mind — to become your become your reality — so it grows even bigger, and with it more avoidance, more avoidance — more and more paralysis of life. And the solution is to flip it — flip it how? Go and face it while terrified from the inside — your fear is valid and understandable , but your legs still move —

your feet still walk by your will. Your steps to that place are still possible despite the fear — and that’s the great trick fear plays on us — fear tells us fear, depression, sadness — they convince us we’re paralyzed. They convinced us they have control — emotions fooled us and even some psychological messaging convinced us that emotions control us. No, not really — you can be burning inside with emotion and still perform the action you should do — the action that you must do — that matches this moment — while your feeling is somewhere else

entirely. What’s in the heart is in heart. I have certain emotions — and you maybe want it deep down but still you're saying "ugh gross " outside. — it’s simply like that: I have certain emotions — but we say only what pleases our Lord what is right — truly — we don’t take a step except in a direction that fits — we don’t take a step except in alignment with our commitment — in our commitment to a certain act or a certain moral or lifestyle — that’s the idea of separating action from emotion — meaning

— the great misconception — that they told us that action must be driven by emotion . yes emotion fuels action and influences it strongly — but actually — they can be completely independent. I can feel bored and still study normally — I can feel exhausted and still care for my child — totally fine — I can be afraid and still walk forward — not backward — and that right there — is the idea of recovery. And it's important to know that in healing from fear and learning to deal with it, setbacks are inevitable — meaning

they WILL happen. Not for a special reason, just because they will So dealing with fear will look like two steps forward and one step back. Like any recovery process in life — two steps forward and one step backward. When dealing with fear sometimes you’ll handle it well twice in a row — then it wins once and you avoid. Then you handle it again, twice or three times — then it wins once and you avoid. Then you handle it once, twice, three and four times — and it wins twice That’s how it goes. So when fear

beats you sometimes — that’s not a flaw in you. It means you’re doing the work — you’re engaged It means there are times when you progress and times when you regress. So it’s important to understand — and this is the final rule, a precaution very important in the principle of gradual — sorry — gradual exposure the repetitive exposure that counters avoidance. That relapse is inevitable, and that it’s natural for us to sometimes fall back during our process of facing fear — especially when confronting the fear itself Remember the three rules related to recovery: the principle

of gradual action, or progressive action — the principle of gradual exposure that opposes the voice of fear — and the fear we talked about the frantic anxiety and the fear of missing out We deal with that by stopping voluntary comparison and by deeply understanding the third rule — which says that any process of dealing with fear, any healing or taming of fear — must always involve two steps forward and one step back. You advance a bit — and then fear knocks you back a little. Fear is not something you play with lightly — fear is

heavy and it stays with us till the end of our lives Thank you very much. See you next week, on Thursday at nine PM - Translated by: Ayat Alshawabkeh