How To Deal With Surgeons

hi good morning oh you must be the new Resident yeah I'm so excited to be here okay today your only task is to learn how to deal with surgeons uh okay you don't want me to like do any intubations or anything no that's easy you'll figure all that out later this is very important um oh okay sure the first thing you need to understand is that surgeons have absolutely no idea what we do well surely they you must know something no no they don't anesthesia the patient is awake anytime the patient moves the surgeon thinks

they're awake even though it's physiologically impossible for the patient to be awake right now yeah I'll give some more anesthesia hang on uh anesthesia all surgeons think there's a singular compound known as anesthesia it's not working please give more thank you I just gave more then why isn't it working oh you know what I left my magic wand at home that makes chemistry go faster do surgeons understand sarcasm about as well as they understand pharmacodynamics I can't do surgery with the patient moving like this with all due respect I think you're referring to the activity

of the patient's diaphragm well it keeps moving yes you're welcome this is exhausting yeah now you know why we take frequent breaks it's not because we need coffee it's so we can leave the operating room to go a scream into a warm blanket