to people that I mean aren't familiar yes you went to the Tokyo Olympics you get lost in the air during your Vault and everyone was shocked but I'm curious like take me to the moment literally when you land on the mat what is going through your mind okay I'll start from the back of the runway when we're standing there let's go back to the runway so in the back like we already knew my gymnastics was kind of janky like in training I was having twisties already but I'm trying to push past that and I would
literally tell the team my teammates like I'm fighting demons I'm fighting demons right now but I'm going to do it for you guys because like it was the cords were not connected so I literally felt like I was fighting my body and my mind to do these tricks so we're trying to um do some different things in the back and I'm like okay I can't do a fulling off beam can I please go back to my double double which is way harder but I know if I twist more it's better for me so then we
go to Vault vault is feeling a little bit weird in the air and you can see it like the girls we ended on floor because we started on vault out there so we end on floor I go to do my first pass and you can see in the air like you can ask the girls it's not like my first pass is a triple double and usually when you do it you see my regular videos you see one you see two you see three this one it looks like I'm going like this in the air and
it doesn't feel comfortable I have no idea where I am but I'm twisting like praying land on my feet and they're like that looks jacked up you can tell all of the gymnast in there from all the countries are like that's jacked up that looks jacked up it looks like she's never done this day in her life but they know it's a twisty so people were kind of trying not to watch we get out there in Vault and I was like okay it's fine I warmed up everything like it wasn't good but I did it
and so we get that out there invol and we have a one touch warm-up go over the table do a one and a half and I'm like what the like what was that and so I'm like it's fine and everybody's freaking out I don't have another touch so I have to go stand there until it's my turn to salute and go I don't have another touch so the girls like can you explain that to people that have no idea what gymnastic like they're like what gymnastics once we go out there we usually have a OneTouch
Vault and it is what it is it's to warm up you you're usually sitting in the back for 40 45 minutes come out you get one turn to take to warm up your Vault to Perfection and then you sit there and wait till it's your turn to salute and hey I'm at the Olympics you know that's your debut before you know and so we go out there and I do the one in half and my teammates are shook they're like are you okay are you okay and I'm trying to convince myself I'm okay so I
don't need you asking me if I'm okay right because I'm okay listen I'm okay we're great like everything is not okay like literally and so they're like you're fine and I was like I don't know why I did that I don't know why and I knew once I got up there I'm chalking up we can't put Jordan in yet I have to go I have to put up a score no matter what it is over the table I have to put up a score so I'm chalking up and you can see if you watch the
video I'm like because I have no idea what I'm going to do when I hit that table and so in my head I'm standing there and I'm like I'll just do the double Pike which I haven't warmed up in like four days and I'm like if I do a double Pike over rotate it it's fine and then I was like they put up a score for a 2 and a half so I have to do a two and a half and I'm thinking if I do a double back that's so dangerous my coach will kill
me my team will never forgive and I saluted and I was like praying to God because I knew I was going to do a vault but I didn't know what I was going to do and I knew I was going to try to do a two and a half but I didn't know how many twists I was going to make and I just because I couldn't twist anymore it's just like your body your brain opens up have no idea where you are so I open landed like that and as soon as I land I kind
of grin and I'm like and I salute and I want to run if I could have gotten a plane flown home I would have done it but I just as soon as I landed I was like oh America hates me the world is going to hate me and I can only see what they're saying on Twitter right now that's that was my first thought Simone I was like holy what are they going to say about me because usually if you go to the Olympics and you flop or whatever it is everybody on their couch eating
those little chips right it's like you let the country down oh I I was I thought I was going to be banned from America cuz that's what they tell you don't come back if it's not gold gold or bus don't come back and I was like I don't thanks can we just pause also like you landing and the first thing that you're thinking should have been thank God I'm alive because you can severely hurt yourself in those moments and you understandably because this is such an athlete thing it's like praise everyone get get everything for
everyone and just like sacrifice at all and on the and you're thinking what is Twitter saying yeah I was like no I'm going to be one of those videos flops at the Olympics like this is horrible and I knew I couldn't recover and I knew I know how long the twisties takes to get over and I know it's not overnight can you explain also to people that aren't familiar what is the twisties okay if I had to explain it in gymnastics terms it's don't might not make sense but it's basically like your mind and your
body is at a disconnect your body is going to try to do something and your mind is going to be like no you're not doing this work you're going to open out you're going to do this but it's the same as if like the best way I could describe is every day you drive a car if one day you woke up and you had no idea how to drive a car your legs are going crazy you have no control over your body that's kind of how it feels like you've been doing something for so long
and you now no longer have control terrifying it's terrifying because we're in a car without any protection I am my car like so I would explain it as like The Yips and golf or baseball or whatever it is I'm not familiar with other sports so if I'm wrong correct me but that's kind of that's kind of how it feels like so immediately when you get off the mat what do you do I go to tell my coach and I said I'm done I'm not doing anymore because if I survive that I don't know how much
else I can survive like I always say I'm a cat with nine lives but I think that was my ninth I'm done and she's like are you sure and I was like yes Jordan gear up you're in you're doing the rest of the meat I'm not like I can't do it and are you like internally freaking out but you're coming off just like internally but I I I didn't want to freak out in front of the girls got it so I kept like as composed as I could have and I was like you guys got
this and then they just went we went to the back just to get evaluated like mentally and physically but we also didn't want to I didn't want to scare the girl so I was like can we please go and there's cameras all the cameras rush over and I was just like because I know what happened but I also don't know what happened and why it happened so we just went in the back the girls are gearing up for bars I come back out and I was like you guys got this you'll be fine trust me
and they were like no we can't do this out without you we're we're not going to win anymore D they're freaking out because they also know what Twitter's going to say if us doesn't win and I was like don't worry about it you guys are here because you're the best in the world and you will be like go out there and do your job but I think um it was really hard on them because mentally they lost their best player the veteran like I think it was really hard on them so that's something that I'll
never forgive myself for for that whole entire experience because I wish I could have been in there with them in a way that I was supposed to physically putting up team scores putting them but after that I became their loudest and best cheerleader um but I just wish I it would have been contributing the way that it was supposed to happen I think that's so hard when you're an athlete you understand that moment where you're like you logically know there was nothing else you could have done nothing your brain is illogical when you're in those
moments with your teammates where you're like I will literally like die for this team and that's what I was that's what I was doing that's what I was putting myself through in the back and that's why I don't know how I made it that far through warm-ups through competing I don't know how I landed on my feet and I think that's what people don't realize is like that's not the Vault that I was supposed to compete I had a whole another full twist that I was supposed to compete so they're like she didn't want to
lose and I was like no no no no no I'm not like my pride is not that big like you know what I'm saying so at that point it's like you know what I need to take care of myself and I need to do what's right for my team and yeah I need to let my pride not get in the way and push through this just to compete to compete at the Olympics again I need to go sit down take a rest see what's wrong mentally and let's figure it out but let's still give my
team a chance of metal contention because again what people also don't realize is if I got hurt on that Vault they couldn't replace me so if I got hurt since I'm on every event it's two up to count we would have never won a medal but since what happened happened we went to the back at that point they could rule it as a mental injury and all of that stuff and physical we got to put Jordan in people don't know that what happened in the back did you just try like what happened hi Daddy gang
thank you so much for watching this video keep in mind that was just a little clip from the episode if you want to watch the entire full video episode it is linked below it's the first thing in the description go watch it it's a great episode love you all I will see you next Wednesday
