10 Rules for Tinder, Bumble and Hinge Dates

So, you finally got a date with your dream girl from online dating. Congratulations. [music] Guess what?

You're about to [ __ ] it up. How do I know that? Because I see what guys do every single day.

And that's what [music] happens. Guys [ __ ] up their dates online. And I don't want that to happen to you.

Fortunately, in the last [music] two decades, I have systematized online dating. I boiled it down to some simple rules [music] you can follow. If you do it instead of getting no second date, you're most likely going to be taking the girl home.

So, here are the top 10 rules for online dates. [music] Rule number one, do everything you possibly can to make the location of the date near your place. This is absolutely critically important.

It matters more than the location being a nice place. It matters more than it being convenient for the girl. And here is why.

A huge percentage of relationships that start from online dating occur with sex on the first date. Therefore, you want to allow for that possibility. Yes, it is absolutely possible that you may go on multiple dates before you sleep with a girl.

And that's completely fine. And especially as you're getting better with girls and better with online dating, that may even be the norm for a while. But it is an absolute tragedy if the girl could have come home and slept with you on that first night and it didn't happen because you were too far away from your place and it was hard to get back there.

I remember one date in particular, I was living in downtown LA, girls living in Santa Monica. She showed up. She was absolutely 100% my type.

We had amazing chemistry. We're making out. The sexual tension super high, but it was just a bit awkward to get back to my place or get back to her place because we were just kind of too far away.

And it sucked. And then life got in the way. Her schedule changed.

My schedule changed. I was traveling. And guess what?

We never had a second date. And that to this day frustrates me. Even as a guy who slept with hundreds and hundreds of women and had tons and tons of success.

I can only imagine for a guy who's rarely getting a date, how much that would be an impact. A little philosophy I have for online dating, if me and the girl just don't have chemistry, I can live with that. But if we have chemistry and I messed it up, that's when I'm going to be really pissed at myself.

And by not having the date near your place, you're opening the door up for you to mess it up. And what do I mean by near your place? If possible, walking distance.

If you live in a city and there is a bar on your street, on your block, even if it's not the nicest bar, that should definitely be part of your date plan. Possibly you meet at that bar or possibly, and we'll talk about this later, you make that your secondary venue that's near your place. But you need to have a way to get near to your place.

If you can't get near to your place, go near her place. Going in the middle is the worst. But why is it better to be near your place than near her place?

Well, it's because at your place, you know what the variables are and you're in control of them. If you go near her place, you might find out halfway through the date she has a roommate that doesn't allow her to bring guys over. Or you might find out that her brother's staying in town and crashing on her couch, and it would be really, really awkward if you came back with her.

Or you might find out that her place is a conservatory for professional dancers and they don't allow men in the front door. I've had these things happen to me. So the point is this.

If you don't plan to succeed, you are planning to fail. If you don't have a clear path towards sex happening on the date, sex will not happen on the date. Does this mean that every first date has to lead to sex?

No. It's totally fine to have second dates and that sort of stuff. But if it could have led to sex and could have led to a blossoming relationship and instead it leads back to you pursuing her on the phone and trying to figure out logistics essentially back to square one.

That is really a shame. Rule number two builds on rule number one. So you've got her to a location that's near your place.

You're halfway there. You should have a plan for that location for your place. Your place should be set up to succeed.

And you should also have a third location just in case. Successful dates that lead to sex on the first date have two most common paths. Path one is you meet at the first location, often a bar, and then you have a few drinks, have a good time, and go back to your place.

Path number two is you meet at same bar or something similar, and then you go to another location that is not your place because maybe she's not quite ready for your place yet, but it's gotten stagnant in that first location. Or by moving her to another place and her seeing that moving to another place wasn't a big deal, it makes it easier to then get back to your place. And so you should have that contingency.

For dates that are going really really well, you can go back to your place. For dates that aren't going quite as well, but are still going just fine and just need more time, you should have a second venue. So oftentimes I'll have the first venue be near my place and actually quite nice or a really good environment for the start of the date.

Second place is just really, really, really close to my place. And then the third place is where I live. Or for example, say I'm staying in a hotel and the hotel has a lobby bar.

I do not invite the girl to the lobby bar as the first venue. I invite her to a bar down the street. I invite her to the lobby bar as the second venue and then I invite her upstairs or the third venue.

But having a plan for these venues is absolutely critical and useful because you don't want to be figuring this out as you go. You want to have this in advance. Rule number three is one some of you guys are going to think is controversial at first because you might think it seems a little bit needy and it's this.

Confirm the plans. Don't just assume they're happening. Now, before I get into this, I want to make a side point, which is this.

You would like to set up the plans so they don't even need to be confirmed. If you are talking to a girl online, say in the afternoon, and you can set up a date for that night, awesome, do it. If you can set it up for the very next day, so there's no confirmation needed.

It's all fresh in both of your minds, awesome, do it. But sometimes with online dating, that's just not possible. Sometimes you are on Tuesday and you have to set up the date for Friday or Saturday.

or sometimes you guys are both traveling and you have to set up a date that's a week or more in advance. If that's happening, you need to stay in touch between setting the date and going on the date and you need to confirm that the date is still on. Now, confirming the date can be quite needy.

You might be like, "So, are we still on? " It kind of looks lame. It kind of looks insecure.

It kind of looks needy. So, here is my cheat code, and it is absolutely a gold mine for getting you more dates. When you set up the dates, don't arrange all of the details.

arrange most of them, but leave a few details out. That way, you're not texting to confirm the plans. You're not texting in an insecure way to check if it's still on.

You're texting to fill in that last bit of information, which was actually necessary in setting up the date. So, in this way, your confirmation text is not needy. It's necessary.

What do I mean by leaving a few elements out? Well, let's take a specific example. If I'm meeting a girl for a drink, there are specific details necessary.

We need to know a that we're meeting for a drink, b what part of the city we're in, c roughly what time of day, like is it after work or is it mid-afternoon or something like that, and then we're going to need to know an exact time, and then we need to know an exact location. So each of these additional bits of detail are things that can be handled on a future text. On the day of or the day before, I'd like to have it arranged to we're having a drink after work in this part of the city.

That's about enough. And now I have two texts in reserve. I have the specific bar in reserve and then I have the specific time in reserve.

If the girl wanted to know the specific bar in advance, that's fine. I still want to keep the specific time a little bit vague like after works you can check in and be like, hey, I'll be getting off work at this time. Does that still work for your schedule.

That way your confirming text is not this, oh my god, is it really happening? I'm so needy text. Again, it's just an organizational text.

Another little asterisk bonus level on this during these logistical texts. If you can keep some level of flirtation, that's also a benefit. You can get away with just having organizational text, but if you can keep some flirtation and flow through these texts, it makes it seem a lot more like it just happened.

Rule number four is one of the absolute most critical on this entire list. It probably matters more than the other logistical ones because if you get this wrong, it is an absolute date killer. And that's this.

Avoid bad date scenarios. And I'll give you a few examples. Example number one of a bad date scenario, going to a stand-up comedy show.

You take the girl to the show and you sit there the entire time watching the comedian and laughing at the act or whatever, but not interacting with each other. And in fact, if you try and interact with each other, you might get heckled. Now, that scenario sucks because it gives you no opportunity to do the primary things you need to be doing on the date, which is relating with the girl, making intimacy and chemistry and tension with the girl, and physically escalating with the girl.

You cannot do those in that environment. Therefore, it's a bad environment for the date. Movies and other types of shows are bad for a similar reason to why the stand-up comedy is bad in that you cannot really interact with a girl the way you'd like to.

You cannot be verbally interacting cuz it disturbs the show. Now, if you're on a second date or beyond and you'd already been physical or if you were with a girl you'd already slept with, that would be different in the case of a movie and possibly a show cuz you can sort of cuddle or hold hands or do kind of physical intimacy during the show. So, you might be able to have a date and just build comfort that way.

But for first dates, shows are really, really bad. Also, overly formal dinners can be bad for a few reasons. Number one, if there's sort of a structure to it and you have like courses of meals coming, well, now you're stuck at the restaurant for a certain amount of time and you don't have control over that.

So, let's say things are going really, really well and you'd like to take the girl home. You can't just really get up in the middle of that meal and take her home. Also, after a long formal dinner, you're both likely to be full and not feeling particularly sexy.

So, that's not great. I'll tell you actually one of the worst dates I was ever on. It was actually a second date where I had been with the girl on the first date and there was a lot of good chemistry but it was time constrained which is already a mistake I had made.

But I got to the second date and I just I was hungry so I invited her to a steakhouse which normally I wouldn't do but I did it in this particular case. And it turns out this particular steakhouse had a thing where someone comes and actually cooks the steak at the table. It's a very high-end steakhouse.

That was like their feature or whatever. But for the purposes of this date where we already had good chemistry and I needed to be physical with a girl, having some old dude essentially chaperoning my date by accident by cooking a steak in front of me absolutely killed everything that needed to happen on that date and it made it incredibly awkward. Rule number five is one that I actually break regularly now, but when I was learning to date, this was an absolute religion for me.

I would never ever ever consider violating this until I got to a very very advanced level in game. And that is this. On the date, you need to be sitting next to the girl or the equivalent.

You need to be in a situation where you can be physically intimate with the girl in a natural way that is not tryh hard. If you're on one side of the table, there's a table and then there's the girl on the other side. One of the fundamental things that needs to happen on a date, i.

e. some physicality existing is not really going to happen. So, I had a rule for many, many, many years.

Every single time I would invite a girl on a date, I would invite her to a bar that either had booths or a couch or I had been there already and I had seen the seating arrangements and made sure that I could have my chair next to hers cuz having that table between us was such an impediment to getting physical. And if you have any concerns whatsoever about getting physical on the date, kissing a girl on a date, if you're not at a level in game where that's an absolute foregone conclusion that you're going to be making out on every single date, until you're at that level, you need to be sitting near enough the girl to get physical throughout the date. At an extremely advanced level, you can get away with not doing this because you can create a lot of tension without physicality.

And you can create that that kind of mystery around your physicality. But until you've been on probably hundreds of dates where you've made out with a girl, you need to be managing your logistics to make physicality and kissing very, very easy on the date. Rule number six is actually really, really simple, but it's incredibly critical, and it also gives me the opportunity to share with you one of the deepest understandings of what a date is that you will ever hear in your entire life.

So, listen up. The rule is greet the girl with a hug or better, right? If you have really, really good intimacy, really good chemistry, you walk up and and she kisses you as a greeting, that's awesome.

That's a date you're probably going to sleep with the girl on. But on most online dates, you're not going to have that level of chemistry. There's going to be some nervousness, some awkwardness.

So, what I've settled upon is a hug. Basically, any girl who has agreed to go on a date with you, at least in like the Western world, she has decided that you are the most interesting, most important thing going on with her night, she's willing to put aside everything else for you. It would be extremely strange if she won't at least hug you.

Hugging is just a normal social gesture. It's not even sexual. But what it does is it breaks that physical barrier right away.

And this is absolutely critical because the way a date works, you have a certain amount of time with the girl that sort of her expected time to spend with you on a date. That's that's kind of she expects it to be over by a certain time. She expects to be home by a certain time.

Unless she's already decided in advance to sleep with you, in which case you can pretty much do anything and it will work. But in most cases, you have a timeline and you have a certain level that the intimacy needs to get to by the end of that timeline. If the intimacy gets above that level by that timeline, the timeline can be extended and or you may just already be having sex.

But if you fall short of that intimacy level by that timeline, the date will peter out and you end up getting a second date or just never seeing the girl again. But there's one other really interesting caveat to the way dates work. Usually intimacy and physicality ramp up gradually over time.

And in fact, if they ramp up too quickly over a period of time, if it feels like you're being pushy with intimacy or if the physicality is ramping up too fast, the girl may become uncomfortable and that may immediately end the date. So, if you look at this as a graph, and this would be very technical, you have sort of time on this axis, you have intimacy on this axis, and you need to have the intimacy ramp up over time, and if you don't get above a certain level in time, it's over. But you can't go up too fast.

Now, what does hugging a girl do? It means that the intimacy and physicality instead of starting at zero on the graph is starting well up the graph. That means that the slope of the line in order to arrive at the necessary intimacy level is much much much shallower.

That means it's incredibly more easy for the date to escalate at the proper pace and for it to actually go somewhere without you having to rush things or be pushy. It's such a simple gesture, but if by moment one you're already physical, again, the amount of physicality and intimacy you have to be creating over the course of the date is so much less. It makes everything so much easier and so much smoother.

So, so far we've talked about logistics and we've talked about getting physical or escalating the date in some way. But the really fundamental question most guys have before any of this is what the heck do you actually say to the girl on a date? And that brings me to rule number seven.

Please, please, please, please, please avoid interview mode and avoid the boring date to nowhere. Most guys dates look like, "So, what do you do for a living? " "Oh, so and where did you grow up?

" "Um, so what high school did you go to? " And a bunch of boring, meaningless, irrelevant questions that have no emotional content. And there are two huge problems with this.

Number one, the subject matter is just not helping you. And we'll get to that in a future point. But secondly, the very format of questions is bad.

Okay, questions per se in a vacuum are bad or at least they are worse than the alternative. When you ask a girl question, you are doing what I like to call taking value. When you are giving your opinion, telling an anecdote, telling a story, teasing the girl, you are offering value.

And what do I mean by this? If you ask a girl a question, especially the boring questions most guys ask, you're not providing any unique insight or any of your personality. You're actually asking and hoping that they'll say something interesting.

If you ask her what she does for a living, she may be passionate about her job and may love talking about it. Fingers crossed. Hopefully, it works out that way.

But often times not. And even if she does love talking about her job, she's not talking about her job in a way that's different than she could with any other guy that just asked her, "What do you do for a living? " she's providing all of the value, you're providing none.

If, on the other hand, you're talking about your job and what you love about it, that's at least new information for her. Or if when you inquire about her job, you do it in a different format as opposed to asking. You maybe tease her about what type of job she might have and challenge her.

And now, as she's telling you about her job, she's kind of defending it or she's explaining it to you in sort of an edgy way or explaining it to you with a little bit of tension underneath it. That's better than if she were just asked. And if during her explanation of the job, you're throwing in teases and opinions and going off on tangents, you're now offering more value throughout.

Okay? Every single time you open your mouth and give thoughts that have been in your head, perspectives that are unique to you, your life story, your life history, you're opening her up to life experiences she could never have without you being there. That is when you are offering value.

So, please try not to ask questions. Instead, you can have anecdotes, you can have stories, you can have teases. If you must ask questions, at the very least, make sure that there's some insight in your question.

So, instead of saying, "What do you do for a living? " You could say, "You seem like you do something really professional," but you also seem like the kind of person that would like really hate her life if she didn't do something artistic. So, I hope your job has both of those.

Now, you've at least given some value in asking the question. One final format, which is absolute gold on dates, and this is something I train my boot camp students on. I train my mentorship students on, anybody I ever coach, I train them on this.

It's a format I call question answer tease. If you ever do ask a boring question or a non- boring question and you get some information from her instead of following up with a question, follow up with a tease or some kind of insight or value. So every single time she's asking a question, every single time she's talking factually, you should be thinking, how can I contribute value to this?

Teasing is the ultimate, but anecdotes, stories, perspectives, opinions are all great as well. At the very minimum, never, never, never, and I don't say never lightly in game, but seeing students and their interactions with girls, never stack three boring questions in a row. That is absolute death to conversations.

Rule number eight. So, we just talked about the format of your communication, i. e.

statements, not questions, teases, not questions, but let's talk about the content. There are certain subjects that are very likely to lead you to sex and certain subjects that are not. And by the way, not just sex, intimacy, connection, etc.

Some subjects are just better than others across the board. Talking about the weather is not a good date topic. Talking about her job or your job in a factual way is not good date conversation.

Telling the factual events of your life and hearing the factual events of her life may build a tiny amount of connection just because there's familiarity and information exchange, but it's not building a lot of intimacy. It's not building any emotions and it's incredibly boring. What are some topics that are more likely to lead to sex?

Well, talking about sex would be good. Now, you probably can't do that from the first moment of the date. You're not going to walk up and be like, "Hey, so what's your favorite sexual position?

" Right? So, what you want to do is you want to build topics that will eventually lead you to talking about things either sex or sex adjacent, right? And so, what are those topics?

One old school phrase when I was growing up in the 80s that you heard a lot was sex, drugs, rock and roll, right? Why are those three things grouped together? Well, those at least in the 80s were things that were considered a little bit illicit, a little bit risky, a little bit against the rules and dangerous.

And so if you were in a level of confidence to talk to people about, you know, drugs and rock and roll, you are maybe in that same level of confidence to talk to them about sex. And if you're talking about rule breaking, you're in a situation in a state of mind where the girl is more likely to break some social mores, i. e.

having sex on the first date. Speaking of online dating and drinking, back in the day when OkayCid was like the biggest dating app about a decade and a half ago at this point, they had survey questions on there and they did a little data analysis and they found which survey question was the closest in answer but not sexual to the question, would you have sex on a first date? And the question they found had the greatest correlation was, do you enjoy the taste of beer?

Right? Because why? Because beer has to do with partying, taking risks, those types of things.

All right? So, these are the types of topics you want to move it towards. To give you one specific tool that you may or may not want to use, but it works really well as a metaphor in all of this, there's an old school routine that we used to use called the question game.

And here's how the question game worked. Question game was this. I asked the girl a question, she has to answer honestly.

She asked me back a question, I have to answer honestly. Pretty simple game. Not all that genius.

But what made the question game genius was that by your questions, you got to decide the tone of the conversation. Quick little asterisk. I know the previous point was don't ask questions.

The question game is a little different because the questions here are intentionally leading and insightful and they're intentionally instigating. But the idea here is this. When you ask a question along a certain line, she's more likely to ask you a similar question back or even the same question back.

If you ask the girl, you know, what is the most trouble you got into as a kid? She's probably going to ask you something about getting into trouble as well. And now you're going down that sex, drugs, and rock and roll kind of route.

and you can gradually escalate the question. So, say for example, you ask a question with a certain intimacy level and she matches that on her question. Well, now on your next question, you can ramp up the intimacy level by like 10 or 15%.

And then she matches that and you ramp it up and she matches that and pretty soon you're having a very sexually charged conversation. That's a very structured game to do this. But putting aside the question game, that's the general idea of what you should be doing on your date.

You should be thinking what is a topic that is currently safe in the conversation but is a little bit closer to sex and you should talk along those lines and see if she matches it. If she does, you can go a little further. She does, you go a little further.

She does, you go a little further until eventually you're having a very, very intimate conversation indeed. Rule number nine, and now we're finally talking about taking girls home. And there are two phases to this, two very important parts, and they're very distinct.

The first part is this. You want to be seeding the future from the start. So, if you are planning on taking the girl to multiple venues on the date, which you should be, right?

I already mentioned you have your first venue, your second venue in your home, at that first venue, you should already be mentioning a future venue. Be like, "Yeah, let's have a drink or two here and then there's one other place I might take you later on if you know if we have time. " You've already brought up the idea that there might be a venue change.

You've made it a normal thing. And if she doesn't overtly like, "No, no, no, we can't go anywhere else. " Now, you already have sort of tacit permission to do that.

You bring that up a few other times. You're like, "Yeah, one more drink here maybe. " and then what kind of cocktails do you like cuz there's a couple different places we could go and then she tells you a type of cocktail.

Now she's implicitly agreeing to go to that next place. So you want to be setting up this idea that there is a future plan from the beginning and having more and more acceptance and more and more kind of repetition of that theme. That's very very useful for taking a girl home.

It's actually useful on a date where you can't take a girl home as well. In that case, you might be seeding or planting the idea of what you might do on a future date or a future time you're hanging out or as part of the relationship. And there's no reason you can't do both.

You can seed the idea that there is a future place you're going to go to tonight. And also the idea that in the future maybe there's some big activity you might do together. All of this is painting a picture that it doesn't end right here tonight and this venue.

And all of that is very very useful. It also gives you a way to gauge their receptivity. If you start mentioning other venues and they're excited to go to other places with you, well, that gives you a much bigger green flag to take them to other venues and eventually take them home.

So, seating is absolutely critical for setting things up, getting the girl primed to go home with you, and for assessing how ready she is for potentially going back to your place or to someplace where intimate things could happen. Part two though, when it is time to actually take the girl home, you need to make a decision and go. You can't hem and haw about it.

I see you guys so often. They'll kind of get the girl to kind of agree to a venue and then they'll just keep talking about it and talking about it and not going. All right.

At a certain point, you go like, "All right, cool. Finish your drink. Let's go.

" Or you like, "Hey, let's get the check. " Right? You just take a physical action.

Or a lot of times, if you're already standing, you're like, "Yeah, come on. Let's go this way. " Or, "Hey, let's go.

Let's go here. It's it's it's just a couple blocks. " And then you get up and you actually start walking.

Now, you don't start walking so fast that if she doesn't come immediately with you, it's awkward. But you start your feet in motion. you are a little bit assumptive about it or you do things like I said like let's get the check or um here let's let's get one more drink here and then we'll close out.

You start mentioning those things. You take actual actions towards the poll and you do them with assertiveness and certainty. You don't hem and haw and hesitate.

Rule number 10, and this is about making not just this date work, but making all your dates work, getting you an abundance of successful dates with women. And this has to do with how you handle your lead flow from online dating. This is my personal plan when you're getting a lot of success, when you have a lot of matches, how to handle your time and get the most dates.

So, I like to set aside a certain amount of time that is my time for setting dates from online dating. I don't like online dating to take over my life. I like it to be something I do in my spare time that just gets me tons of dates.

And so, with that in mind, I set aside maybe half an hour a day in two 15-inute segments. Or if I'm going hard, maybe an hour a day in two half hour segments, maybe one in the morning, one in the evening. And in those segments, I do what is highest priority first.

And what is highest priority? Highest priority is if there's a particular girl that is absolutely the best, right? If there is girls that are absolutely your type, their highest priority.

The other highest priority is the girls that are right about to get on a date. You've already been messaging them. You've already got their phone number.

You've already agreed tendedly to a date and you're nailing down the date plans. That is the highest priority. That is the most valuable lead you have.

So you handle that first. So, first just the girls you like the most. Second, the highest priority lead in terms of where they're at in kind of the timeline.

And if you take up your entire 15 minutes or half hour, whatever time you have allotted from messaging the girls who you already have close to getting dates, then you're done for the day. And then you'll follow up with the other girls that you're still just messaging on the app the next day. Right?

If you want to go really really hard, you just message until you're through all your messages. Fine. And then if you get to a point where in the time you've allotted for dealing with online dating for that day, you're done with all your messaging, you me, you've gotten dates with all the girls you get dates with, you've gotten all the girls from the app and messaging to get them off the app, and you've first message all the girls you've matched with on the app.

That's when you go match and get more leads. By doing it this way, you're going to be able to handle a lot of leads, but you'll be able to optimize and handle each one properly as opposed to having them fall through the cracks and doing kind of a half-ass job with all of them. And obviously, if you're getting this kind of abundance, if there are certain girls that just annoy you or turn you off or you're no longer interested, you can just delete them and move on and then you can go get more matches.

By doing it this way, I'm only swiping every few days. I'm not swiping every single day. I'm filling the funnel once I've exhausted the current funnel.

And this is actually very appropriate for the algorithm because the algorithm does tend to give you diminishing returns if you hit it up day after day after day for new matches. It's kind of like the algorithm saying, "Look, I already gave you a bunch of matches. What did you do with them?

Did you waste them? " But if you give it a few days between matches, you give more time for other girls to have matched with you and like to liked you. You kind of let the algorithm rest and it tends to feed you better matches.

There tends to be diminishing returns if you hit it up too much too fast. So this creates a scenario where you're actually very efficient because you're going to get a consistent lead flow. You're not going to get periods where you have scarcity and no leads and you're like, "Where's my next date coming?

" And you're also not going to have periods where you have so many girls that you're double booking or you're losing girls because you don't don't have time to fit them in your schedule. Okay, so that's 10 rules, but I'm generous, so I'm going to give you two bonuses. These are not absolutely necessary, but I do highly, highly, highly, highly recommend them to increase your efficiency.

Bonus rule number one, do a call with the girl if at all possible before the date. And there are a few reasons for this. When you're dating girls online, you're showing up on the date with basically a stranger, and so is she.

If you can be less strangers, the date will go better. And also, you may be able to screen out some girls you don't want to be on dates with without having to waste the time of going on a date with them. Especially if you have a lot of leads, if you have a lot of girls eager to go on dates with you, if you can weed some out without going on dates, that leaves you free for more eligible girls who you're going to have more chemistry and a better time with.

So, first of all, a lot of girls don't look like their online dating profiles. If you're worried about that, a couple things you can do. Number one, do the call and do it as a video call if possible.

do it on FaceTime or do it on WhatsApp or something like that and actually see the girl and gauge if you actually want to go on a date with her based on her appearance. You may save yourself an entire evening with a 10-minute chat. Another way to do this, by the way, is if the girl has social media, you can check out her social media because you're going to get a greater volume of photos.

You're more likely to get a real sample of what she looks like. So, that's another way you can go there as well. But the other huge reason for doing a phone call is it massively increases the girl's buy in before the date.

So, if you do a phone call, either in arranging the date or once the date has been arranged, your flake rate on the dates will go way, way, way down. Girls who you set dates with from just messaging online flake relatively often. Girls who you set dates with from a phone call or having had a phone call afterwards flake almost never.

And when they do flake, they make alternate plans with you because they're way more bought in. They're actually eager for the date. Also, because they're eager for the date, they show up to the date with different parameters.

If they've already talked to you and they're already excited and they can't wait to see you, they're going to set aside hours for the date and they're not going to have other commitments for that evening. Also, because the girls are excited, they may prepare for things to go well on the date. They may wear their sexy underwear, for example, if you know what I mean.

Second and final bonus rule, and if you've already done everything perfectly, this won't come up, but in the real world, things aren't always perfect, so it may become a factor. Let's say you live in the suburbs and there isn't a bar within walking distance of your house. You are going to have to go somewhere to meet the girl.

And let's say there's not a bar within walking distance of her house. It's not going to be right next to her. So, there's going to be transportation involved on your date.

If there is transportation involved, here's the rule. One car per date or zero. Zero or one cars per date.

But you do not want a date where there are two cars on the date because it's super super super awkward if you met somewhere that's not your place and not her place and then you're going to go back to your place or go back to her place and you have to drive and follow her in your car or drive separately or something like that. If the girl is driving to the date, I would suggest Ubering there, getting dropped off or parking your car somewhere you can leave it overnight and then saying you got dropped off or Ubered there or something like that. And if she wonders why you Ubered when you have a car, you can say, "Oh, you don't like to, you know, you don't like to drink and drive, so whenever you go out and you're having a drink, you just always Uber.

There are a lot of reasons. It's not awkward at all. " But if she drove and you didn't, well, now she can give you a ride home and it makes total sense.

Or if you go back to her place with her, you just Uber back later. You don't have to worry about your car. Having that other car there can mess things up in so many ways.

Please, please, please avoid it. If possible, even go pick her up. Now, for online dates, this could be a little weird.

So, you don't want to be maybe always suggesting it, right? Girls doesn't want to necessarily give her home address to a stranger, but you could maybe pick her up from work or pick her up at a place if she happens to be in the city or something like that. Or if there's, you know, a place that's not her house, you could pick her up.

That's great because then, you know, you're going to be dropping her off. Or if she can swing by and pick you up, that's another way to get one car per day. And it also kind of ends back at one of your places because there's a drop off happening.

So these types of logistics, they may seem silly, but we started with them, we're going to end with them. Having it so that you are in a physical location where things can go well makes a huge difference on the date. So those are my 10 rules for dates.

Learn them, use them, you have no excuse for making these boneheaded date mistakes. They're going to mess you up. And that will help you again with having a plan for your date, being intentional about your date.

That's the biggest thing I can emphasize to you is you need to have a plan. If you don't have an idea of how the date is going to go well, it's simply not going to go well. And of course, the other huge part of this is the verbal part, the game part.

What do you say on the date? I've covered that to some extent here, but you can find tons more about that all over my channel. And also, if you really want to go deep, there's online dating academy, which is a course where I've actually gone on 10 online dates, recorded them, and you can actually do exactly what I've done.

You can steal my lines. That's if you want to go deep down the rabbit hole and really get this handled. That's the absolute solution.

Link in the description. Regardless of what you do though, be intentional. Be smart.

Plan to succeed rather than planning to fail or failing to plan. Go out there, get better results, make your dates work from here on. Thanks for watching.

Ticker.